i won't tag the others because you can't really see them

Saphael Fanfic Rec 2.0

A Saphael Fest.

More writing goodies from amazing writers.

As always, if you know any of the authors and tag them, that would be very much appreciated

A Daisy instead of a glass shoe by @soft-saphael

Tumblr prompt: runaway prince!simon and commoner!rapahel

Two weeks from his coronation and three from his wedding to Princess Isabelle of Idris, the Prince of New York found himself on a park bench in Brooklyn. His face buried in the palms of his hand as his phone continued to ring.
Deep breaths. Deep breathes. Deep- the phone is laying in pieces on the concrete walkway in shattered fragments.

“You’re a little far from the palace” A slightly accented voice said, from out of the corner of his eyes Simon saw black leather.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh I’m sorry your highness, I apologize for not bowing” The boy snorted.

“Please, just leave me alone” Simon huffed tiredly.

A First Date (Kind of. Almost.) by SnogboxesAndChips

Simon is always looking for excuses to be near Raphael. When he finally finds a suitable excuse, he walks in on Raphael doing something that Simon would have never thought Raphael would do. He was cooking.

And every road you take (will always lead you home) by @woodenhallslikecaskets

For Raphael’s 55th birthday Magnus gifts him a portal that leads to 1956.

Brooklyn, NY 1956: he meets a beautiful boy by the name of Simon Lewis. They’ve never met before but Raphael feels like he could love him. They could fall in love.

Break of the light by @makehomesofhumans

Simon’s eyes sparked to life as he was being dangled over the edge of a building. He sighed, because that was just his luck.

But who would love a monster, anyway? By @spendeonswithyou

As he learns later, loving Simon hurts. It’s making his dead heart want to beat again, destroying the remaining bits and pieces of his soul.

Or the Soulmate AU in which you can feel your soulmate’s pain.

Customer Satisfaction by kuro1neko2kun

‘You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly horrible ways’ AU

Darling, you’re all I need by @anjawritingsx

Simon and Raphael are happy together, that is until Simon forgets their 8th year anniversary.
Raphael is left heartbroken and Magnus and Alec try to pick up the pieces.

Does that mean you’ve a really bad crush on me too? By milleniumlint

Simon wants Raphael to understand he has feelings for him but he’s not so obvious like he thinks he is.

Dreaming of You (endlessly) by Nubian_Reese

Corazón—His heart. He loves Simon so much it hurts. His beauty, his optimism, it’s a sea of good and Raphael does nothing but dive right in. And he is not ashamed, because Simon is a gift. God’s gift, and sometimes Raphael can’t believe what they have together is real, but when Simon leans down and kisses him, hands running through each other’s hair skimming down backs, and gripping hips, Raphael lives in every sense and knows that this is real.

Flirting 101 by TrickyVicky3

Raphael sighs, shaking his head more to himself than anything else as he reaches down for Simon and pulls the other boy up again. “That will be all for today” he pulls the bottom of his tank top up, using the material to wipe away sweat, unaware of Simon’s gaze tracking over his abdomen. “You did good but not good enough, even if you pinning me down was kind of hot”

Keep reading

the signs as drew monson instagram captions
  • Aries: Don't forget that I am the Tina. It is me you are gazing at in delight as you binge through your life of nothing. Will I murder you? No. Will I murder myself? Sexually. Disgusting how many of you failed to realize that I am and have always been, the all powerful T-Bird. Bow down. But before you do, take off your ass. Put it in the stove so it will be warm when I die on the floor. Chocolate milk cartons but the milk has been replaced with the stuff that comes out of blackheads. The children are crying because all they wanted was their cocoa syrup. Little assholes. Gigantic assholes. Family. Friends. Chandler. Monica. Tina.
  • Taurus: I am king of the castle. I will look at my balls and fall into a hole of dead fucking birds. I can't believe my horse kisses my shoulder in the rain. Randy? Yes, I'm home. Finding Nemo 2 is gonna suck. You can't nail it twice.
  • Gemini: Happy Bithday from Ellen. Polish the tits once a day. Always be nice to old person if they dick big. Show your dad a picture of his ass and call it a present. The truth is that Dad Ass is priceless. Nobody will die with a true appreciation of #DadAss. Big nipple snaps.
  • Cancer: I am so worried about how people think of me. Often I'll find myself thinking, what if my body is too much? Do muscles have a limit? Can an ass exceed limitations? Become dangerous? This morning your father told me something incredibly important: He said "You are so cute lol." It's things like this that keep me going. Yes, I am an entertainer. But I am also a tree. I literally have branches. That's so fucked up that there are leaves in your dick. Gerard Butler. Saltine sleeves. Jeffrey.
  • Leo: I'm so happy to be pretty for you. I guess I'm a little baby aren't I? Walking around in the forest and screaming about pancake asses. Such a bad little goblin while I take off my little salad pants. When you brush your teeth, think about how your body will sag one day but your teeth won't, they will just fall off and then you will die so much. Tag any of your friends you think would be interested in going on a date with me wearing this gorgeous outfit.
  • Virgo: I am a very beautiful bird. I fly into your bathroom as you are flicking pieces of mud off of Harry Potter Blu-Rays. Walking on the beach feels like wafting into my Tit Scent. California is the place to be for people who like licking other people's hands. I'm probably going to die while watching something on VH1. That sounds like some shit I would do. Salmon Ham Choo Choo man, he's home and ready to sprinkle.
  • Libra: A lot of people were wondering what happened with the log. The log has died. The log is a bowl of fries waiting for you at my funeral, baby. The log is mom. The log is a pig at the market. I can take the log under my arms and show you how to fuck Actual Oatmeal. Actual Oatmeal Bruce Willis. Little snack. Ariana Grande is on my mind. Just kidding. I gave up on her. You watch that show Hannibal? What the fuck. That guy is twisted for sure. Pop culture. Think about someone you hate. Now think about them in a fedora. Not so bad, huh? No. Worse. Dicks. Stop it. Melon.
  • Scorpio: It feels very good to be a beautiful big boy. I will heal you with my passionate breast glances while you snack on a VHS tape of your own birth. I will never die. Can you take a look at my body as you wash my Myspace password into the ocean? Little dicks with a mustache. I really will never die. I don't care who punches my Meat Boys. Who wants to see a fucked up ass? Everyone.
  • Sagittarius: The big nerd loves those tits. And an ass to boot! Wow. We can often find the time to appreciate a beautiful pair of Salty Ass Crowns. Going to the grocery store with my wife is crazy! We can never decide on which bird to kill. I'm disgusted by friendship. Why will no one look at John Stamos while he shaves his hairy hole? Hairy hole. Little princess girl with a snack.
  • Capricorn: I am so happy to be your perfect beauty. I will listen to Rihanna's music from 2007 while I bathe your prickly feet. You smell like sand as I push you off the top of a dick. Dragons exist, they are just living inside of the elderly. You say you love animals? Then go ahead and cut grandpa open. Fucked up to leave something so gorgeous trapped inside of a wrinkle cage. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna cry. A group of pubic shaving bumps organized their own Easter egg hunt in February because they have no concept of time but came pretty close anyway.
  • Aquarius: What color is the dress. Is it Foreskin? Is it Violin? I showed it to my mom and she told me that my entire family is immortal. I am so excited about this Dress! Hey grandpa, I love your blog. Hey sandcock, I ate your elementary school. The dress is important. The dress died. The dress is not a distraction. Go check your closet. The dress is in there. And your dad is holding on so tightly. He just wants to talk.
  • Pisces: Take down your Friday Pants and get ready for content. Diet Coke hanging off your mustache. Die, it coke. How did she die? She did coke. Stay away from drugs, except for love. That's what Kevin Jonas has taught me. I am so disgusting because of my Problematic Boobs. Jeffrey. Cat dick. Google what a turtle's dick looks like. It's fucked up. If you can't find it I'll show you one at the library.
The Castlevania series, summarized in one sentence each
  • Castlevania: Go kill Dracula.
  • Simon's Quest: ["Pick up the pieces" by Average White Band begins playing]
  • Vampire Killer: Go kill Dracula's portrait painting.
  • Haunted Castle: Go kill Dracula because god dammit I just got married and it's a good thing I had this leather kilt and chain whip under my tuxedo.
  • The Castlevania Adventure: Go kill Dracula while wearing soggy boots.
  • Castlevania III: Invoke the power of friendship, but not more than once at a time.
  • Super Castlevania IV: Guess what? Dracula still needs killin', so get to it, buster! And don't spend too much time playing with the whip because you're on the clock. Chop chop!
  • Belmont's Revenge: Go kill Dracula and probably also your son because vampire hunter parenting is hard.
  • Rondo of Blood: Go kill Dracula as a 13-year-old girl, with doves and a cat, then tell him how disappointed you are and how big a meanie he is.
  • Dracula XX: It's way harder and you can't be a 13-year-old girl and throw cats at Dracula anymore but some people still like it, for....some reason?
  • Bloodlines: Go kill Bram Stoker's Dracula because there obviously can't have been more than one version of the story and they must all be connected, _riiiiiiight_?
  • Symphony of the Night: Who's the black magic priest that's a rez-machine to all the vamps? SHAFT! (You're damn right.)
  • Legends: Go kill Dracula and then have a baby with his son, so that baby can grow up to also kill Dracula (until you get written out of the timeline).
  • Castlevania 64: You're a Belmont except you're not, but you still act like a Belmont except when you don't, and also a little girl can go kill Dracula if you really want.
  • Legacy of Darkness: Aaaoooooo, Werewolves of London.
  • Chronicles: Go kill Dracula, now with leather fetish gear and rockin' red-pink hairdo.
  • Circle of the Moon: _Waaaahhhh_ I wanted the whip but you got it instead, not that it matters because Igarashi pretends none of this ever happened.
  • Harmony of Dissonance: We really, really just wanted to make Simon's Quest and Symphony of the Night again, and Igarashi has this weird thing about furniture.
  • Aria of Sorrow: YOUR SOUL IS MINE. [Mortal Kombat theme begins playing]
  • Lament of Innocence: So it turns out that generations of Belmonts have all essentially been wielding this one guy's dead wife for a thousand years or so, and nobody thought to question this until now? (also NATHAN SPENCER IS A BELMONT HEADCANON CONFIRMED)
  • Dawn of Sorrow: I'm Dracula! No, *I'm* Dracula! No, *neither* of you are Dracula now get in the car or nobody gets any ice cream!
  • Curse of Darkness: Y'know how Dracula has a huge army at his disposal? Go play as the guy that made those armies except he's not a bad guy anymore because reasons. Also more leather fetish stuff, because I guess someone enjoyed it the last couple times?
  • Order of Shadows: An obscure relative of the Belmont Clan goes and does the usual Belmont thing because for some reason people wanted to kill Dracula on a Java phone.
  • Portrait of Ruin: Go kill this other guy that isn't Dracula while a know-it-all schoolgirl tags along and slaps people with encyclopedias and sometimes turns you into a frog.
  • Portrait of Ruin alternative joke: Go kill not-Dracula and his not-daughters with the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP.
  • Dracula X Chronicles: We finally get the good Dracula X in English, except you have to play through a weird remake of it to unlock the good stuff.
  • Order of Ecclesia: Go kill Dracula by resurrecting Dracula with the thing that's supposed to kill Dracula, then using the thing that's supposed to resurrect Dracula to kill yourself in order to kill Dracula, then your best friend who's been trying to kill you the whole time takes the bullet because he secretly just wants to see you smile for him.
  • Judgment: Our timelines are completely fucked up, so let's fuck them up even more by having the personification of time summon a bunch of random Belmonts and make them fight each other.
  • Adventure Rebirth: We're so sorry that the Game Boy one sucked so much, so here's an apology...about 19 years later.
  • Castlevania Puzzle: People really wanted Symphony of the Night on phones, so we took Super Puzzle Fighter 2 Turbo and threw Alucard into it because iPhone users won't care.
  • Harmony of Despair: Left 4 Dead is really popular guys, and people really want a high-def Castlevania game, so let's take the DS games, throw co-op into them, and let the player zoom out to see the whole castle at once because that's not totally unplayable or anything.
  • Lords of Shadow: God of Whip: Chains of Belmont.
  • Lords of Shadow alt joke: What a horrible night to have a quick-time event.
  • Lords of Shadow alt-alt joke: A glorious waste of Sir Patrick Stewart, and oops I guess you're actually Dracula.
  • Mirror of Fate: People really wanted another classic-style Castlevania so we said "to hell with them" and made the one nobody liked into a 2D game like nobody could tell the difference.
  • Lords of Shadow 2: Castlevania and Metal Gear had a baby and this is exactly why inbreeding is illegal in most states.
  • Resurrection: We really wish Sonya Belmont was canon, guys. Also another Belmont with a gun.
  • Kid Dracula: Go kill Dracula. Oh wait, YOU'RE Dracula. Go kill Galamoth.
  • Wai Wai World: A superhero, a scantily clad robot girl, a samurai, a pipe-wielding ninja bandit, a Moai head, King Kong, and Mikey from The Goonies join Simon Belmont to go kill...uh...something?
  • Wai Wai World 2: Simon Belmont joins a machine-gun-wielding mercenary and a baby (among others) to go kill more shit.

anonymous asked:

I'm really missing your GMW rants :/ everyone is turning the Legacy plot into a Lucas and Maya episode when it's not the case. They're upset that Lucas and Maya won't talk alone and pretty much blaming Riley lol I can't be in this fandom anymore everyone is so annoying lol. If Lucaya happens they will cheer it on but if he picks Riley she will be dogged out and called every name in the book. This isn't fair.

Disclaimer: I did not use the full ship name. The anon did. If this goes into the LM tag, I apologize. Do not read this if you ship LM. 

I haven’t ranted in a while, because I blocked a blog, which prevents them from appearing in the tag and I stopped frequenting the gmw tag as often, because it was pissing me off too much, but trust me, my anger is still there and as soon as Girl Meets Legacy airs, there’s a good chance you’re going to want me to shut up lol 

With that being said, here’s a reply to your ask, which doubles as a mini rant lol

If what you’re saying is true, and they’re blaming Riley, then they need to stop taking all of their anger out on her, because that anger is in no way merited. You don’t blame the gf/wife/significant other because the other woman can’t be with him…… You blame the other woman for flirting with the guy and pursuing a relationship with him, and the boyfriend/husband/significant other for flirting back (although, in this case, the only thing Lucas did “wrong” was nearly kiss Maya, after Riley broke up with him). 

Blaming Riley is an irrational side-effect caused by their shipping preferences. No one in the real world would blame the girl whose best friend started flirting with the person she was seeing. They’re going to blame the best friend and/or the significant other, depending on the details. But no one in their right mind would blame the person who was betrayed by her best friend and boyfriend (although, again, I do not blame Lucas as of yet, but there is a decent chance I will in the near future, depending how the writers decide to continue this). 

This fandom has a lot of double standards when it comes to Riley. They blame her for making comments about Maya’s home life, while ignoring Lucas when he does the same and ignoring Maya when she makes comments about Riley’s insecurities. It’s an unfortunate truth which often pisses me off, because with the exception of the hardcore LM shippers, everyone I know, on twitter (I only follow casual fans on twitter) and off the internet, are currently very angry with Maya. 

I don’t know what’s going to happen in Legacy or in season 3, but I hope that people stop blaming everything on RIley, who is right now, in the middle of a really shitty situation and in no way deserves this hate. 

p.s why are people bitching about Legacy when it hasn’t even aired yet?