This isn’t as easy at it was before. No, this is beginning to feel like that worst sort of hellish torture. What makes me feel worse is knowing that I chose this. I chose to feel for you and I chose to wait for you. But when I looked at you today I felt grieved because deep down I know that you won’t choose me. You love her. You always have. I thought maybe I could shoe you that I was lovable and wonderful too, but I can’t tell if I matter to you at all. Now when I see you looking at me in the corner of my eye I try not to look back because you probably get an ego boost or some other satisfaction. This hurts so much but despite this, you are still beautiful to me. Your eyes still take my breath away, your smile is still bright, and you are still very desirable. Nevertheless it hurts knowing that you may never look at me the way I look at you.