i won't even get into this right now

MCU characters as quotes from me while at school
  • Tony: Pluto is a fucking planet. It orbits a star and has an axis, and gravity, it's a fucking planet. It's not rocket science. it only becomes rocket science when you want to visit it.
  • Rhodey: [someone notices the 'gay af' on his shirt] Yes thank you. Finally someone noticed my hard work
  • Natasha: I hate Satan because he's the one that made Eve eat the fucking apple and give her periods so I hope he's rotting in hell for making my week a hell on earth
  • Clint: [sees everyone eating their lunch and remembers its lunch time] OH YEAH FOOD [runs to the lunch line to get food]
  • Bucky: cutting off your dick would be easier than cutting off your arm
  • Sam: i wish i could just say 'fuck this shit' and fly out the window
  • Steve: Hurt my friend, I hurt you, with a SPOON
  • Scott: i don't know shit about biology I failed it
  • Sharon: I'm a badass but even I won't fight a spider. That's idiotic and I'm just gonna hide around the corner.
  • Thor: AAAAAHHHH [runs and jumps on friend] I LOVE YOU
  • Bruce: That's not probable at all why are you doing that, no, no. don't do that. for right now i'm the mom friend and i'm saying No.
  • Wanda: if one more teacher tells me to do homeWORK I"M GONNA probably do it because it's senior year and i want out of here so fucking bad
  • Pietro: [everytime someone runs by] RUN FOREST RUN [pauses as freshmen stare in confusion] fuck i'm old kill me
something that probably happened
  • Cayde-6: This changes everything. I didn't know you could force people to pay you money in exchange for not fucking with them...
  • Tevis: I am not following you.
  • Cayde-6: I'm not stabbing you right now.
  • Tevis: I have noticed.
  • Cayde-6, taking out a knife: You should pay me ten Glimmer for that.
  • Tevis: Where did you get that-?
  • Cayde-6: I have been not stabbing you, pro bono, for years. That ends today.
  • Tevis: Please don't stab me.
  • Cayde-6: If you and Maya Sundaresh can come to an arrangement, I won't have tooooo...
  • Tevis: Maya Sundaresh didn't even invent Glimme-
  • Cayde-6, stabbing Tevis: HIYAH!
  • Tevis, is stabbed: Oh for fucks sake, Cayde!
  • Akira: Hey Ryuji
  • Ryuji: What?
  • Akira: Can I share something with you from earlier today?
  • Ryuji: What is it, Akira?
  • Akira: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning.
  • Ryuji: Yeah
  • Akira: Because I have to go out of town for one weekend this month, and so I was like, I won't give specific dates, but I was like "do you have any preference whether I go this weekend, or the next weekend?"
  • Ryuji: Mmm-hmm
  • Akira: Your response...
  • Ryuji: *starts laughing*
  • Akira: At 9:30 in the morning...
  • Ryuji: *continues laughing*
  • Akira: "Motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfucking Facebook movie bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit"
  • Ryuji: *continues laughing even louder*
  • Akira: No-no-no punctuation. Random capitalization.
  • Akira: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now."
  • Akira: Forty-five minutes pass. I get a text from you: "Goddamn creator of Facebook right fucking lawyers and shit right fucking Winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fucking shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man"
  • Ryuji: *continues laughing*
  • Akira: I respond, "Ryuji, you're scaring me." An hour passes. You respond, "Motherfucking Spider-Man Spider-Man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg. I'm very tired"
  • Ryuji: *laughs*
  • Akira: I'm just like, "No problem, man. I'll do most of the talking at the hideout today." Immediate, like, response, I'm talkin' like five seconds later: "No man I'll just talk about the Facebook movie all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-Man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like die I cant think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook" And then, in all capital letters, two hours later, "MARK ZUCKERBERG"
  • Ryuji: *hysterical laughing*
On a more...mellow night at Sour Cream's house
  • Lars: ...s..Sadie...are you high.
  • Sadie: N...no I don't think so. Steven?
  • Steven: I am literally a cactus right now.
  • Lars: Oh crap he's a cactus.
  • Sadie: He is NOT a cactus, he's...what are you again?
  • Steven: I don't even know... Jesus?
  • Lars: He is basically Jesus.
  • Buck Dewey: Aren't we all Jesus some times?
  • Jenny: I...am pizza.
  • Sour Cream: He won't come back, he won't come back, he won't come back-
  • Steven: OH NO I FEEL HIS FREAK OUT!
  • Lars: SC..SC chill, Steven is feeling you right now, with his magical Gem Jesus powers.
  • Steven: WHY AM I SUCH A JESUS?!
  • Sadie: STOP SAYING JESUS!
  • Onion: MAMAMAMA!
  • Sour Cream: Oh god, Onion is here, why is he here, everything is the worst.
  • Steven: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
  • Amethyst: What did Pearl say Amethyst, "Don't get high with teenagers, you WILL be the baby-sitter."
  • Voltron Fandom: *arguing over whether Keith was hatched from an egg or actually born (or whatever the toesies team stand for)*
  • Me, an intellectual: Keith came out of something and now he's alive and I love him for it.
"Lucky Us" Writing Process
  • Penny: That's a cute joke, Adrien, but I'm not letting you break the fourth wall.
  • Adrien: Why not?!
  • Me: *walks on set* Hello. I am here on behalf of the Marinette Should Get to Touch Adrien's Naked Chest Committee.
  • Marinette: *gives me a thumbs up*
  • Penny: This is Chapter 25. They won't even be occupying the same physical space.
  • Me: Yes. I am aware.
  • Penny: *narrows eyes at Marinette*
  • Marinette: I don't have to touch his chest RIGHT now.
  • Adrien: I disagree, but okay...

anonymous asked:

YOU ARE JUST RETARDED AND STUBBORN FUCKER! I'M POINT TO OTHERS WHY YOU ARE TOO LAZY! THEY SHOULD KNOW THEIR RIGHTS. IF THEY ASKED SOMETHING FROM YOU THEY BETTER GET IT. I WOULD LOVE TO MESSAGE YOU AND SHOW MYSELF, BUT THEN YOU WILL BLOCK ME OR WHATEVER. I RATHER ENJOY BITCHING YOU AS ANONYMOUS. SO PREPARE YOURSELF MY DEAR. DO THAT OR I WON'T STOP INSULTING YOU!!! PS: suck my dick, you might be good at that. NOW MOVE YOUR ASS BITCH!

At this point I’m not going to even try to explain to you what rights are. If you know my followers’ rights so much then you should also know mine. Unfortunately I do not have the time to discuss with someone like you because you obviously lack the intelligence and maturity to have a decent conversation with.

I don’t need to talk to you anymore because at this point I’ve learned a lot from your anonymous messages to me. I learned that you enjoy being rude, offencive, and highly inappropriate to someone. If you don’t know what that means, then I am happy to tell you that you are a bully. I don’t like to work with bullies and I don’t think anyone agrees with whatever you’re saying. At this point you have proven to me and to many others that you lack bravery and empathy. Someone who is brave would talk to me with their online name available. Someone who puts themselves in other’s shoes before making judgment displays maturity and empathy. At this point I will no longer waste my time on you and if you wish to b**** at me anymore as an anonymous person then I will tell you in advance that I will not respond to you.

People have recommended me to make Anonymous no longer available because of you. I have truly considered it as well. But I am happy to say that I won’t do that. Unlike you, I received the kindest and most understanding messages from Anonymous people as well and they are the main reason why I am happy to keep it available.

So go ahead and message me as much as you like. You won’t get anything out of me anymore.

I advise that you move on and do something else with your life because you’re just going to waste your time anyway.

What went down in Origins (Pt 2)
  • INTRO SEQUENCE
  • Nadja Chamack: when last we left our intrepid heroes, Stoneheart was happening a lot
  • Marinette: that's not good
  • Nadja Chamack: in lighter news, today's episode includes the umbrella scene
  • Marinette: that's good I guess
  • Nadja Chamack: about two thousand Adrienette shippers are expected to be congregating outside Collège François Dupont to watch the scene around 15:30, and drivers are advised to take alternate routes to avoid traffic
  • Marinette: go back to talking about Stoneheart pls
  • Nadja Chamack: no Marinette this is a TV broadcast and so I can't hear you
  • Marinette: dangit
  • Tom: hey Marinette how are you doing
  • Marinette: everything is broken and on fire
  • Tom: don't worry, there are superheroes who are protecting the city now
  • Marinette: but what if they're not good at this
  • Tom: then I'll protect you
  • Marinette: aww, thanks dad
  • Tom: seriously tho if you're not gonna use your Miraculous you should give it to me
  • Marinette: you're defs not supposed to know about that
  • Tom: but it's the most obvious thing
  • Marinette: ok yeah I'm leaving now
  • Marinette: *goes to school*
  • Marinette: hey Adrien why are you putting gum on my chair
  • Adrien: I'm not and how do you know my name
  • Marinette: I don't, and I don't care
  • Adrien: is everyone in middle school this petty?
  • Nino: yeah pretty much
  • Marinette: hey Ivan how about you don't get akumatized again
  • Ivan: ok how should I avoid that
  • Marinette: try getting involved in questionable romantic shenanigans, that couldn't possibly go wrong
  • Ivan: ok thanks!
  • Tikki: that was literally the worst possible advice
  • Marinette: my entire life is questionable romantic shenanigans and I've never been akumatized
  • Tikki: yeah that's because you're Ladybug
  • Tikki: if not for that you'd have been akumatized at least 27 times by now
  • Marinette: oh so should I go help out Ivan now?
  • Stoneheart: TOO LATE
  • Marinette: oh noes
  • Stoneheart: *takes Chloé and Mylène and ollies outy*
  • Chat Noir: ok imma follow him
  • Stoneheart: *wrecks Chat Noir*
  • a bunch of other Stonehearts: *wreck Chat Noir*
  • Stonehearts: *wreck Alya*
  • Alya: MARINETTE STOP BEING F**KING USELESS
  • Marinette: *stops being f**king useless*
  • Ladybug: let's do this
  • Chat Noir: ok what do we do
  • Ladybug: let's go after that really big Stoneheart on the Eiffel Tower
  • Chat Noir: ok how about you try it and I'll watch
  • Ladybug: *grumbles*
  • Stoneheart: *coughs up a giant Hawkmoth head made of akumas*
  • Ladybug: ok that can't be right, lemme read that again
  • Stoneheart: *coughs up a giant Hawkmoth head made of akumas*
  • Ladybug: wow apparently this is really happening
  • Hawkmoth: HEY GUYS
  • Ladybug: ...
  • Chat Noir: ...
  • Everyone: ...
  • Ladybug: so is that all you're gonna say or
  • Hawkmoth: yeah I think I covered everything I needed to say
  • Ladybug: okeedoke imma wreck all those akumas like a boss
  • Hawkmoth: NOOOOOOOO
  • Ladybug: and imma beat Stoneheart and rescue Mylène and maybe Chloé
  • Chat Noir: do I get to do anything
  • Ladybug: sure, you get to be thrown violently across the screen in the background
  • Chat Noir: ok
  • LATER
  • Nino: hey Adrien, you should talk to Marinette
  • Adrien: ok but I don't know how to talk to people
  • Nino: just play it cool, give her an umbrella or something
  • Adrien: ok can do
  • HERE COMES THE UMBRELLA SCENE
  • HERE COMES THE UMBRELLA SCENE
  • HERE COMES THE UMBRELLA SCENE
  • Marinette: *steps out in rain*
  • Adrien: hey Marinette!
  • Marinette: *huffs*
  • Adrien: I think you should know that I was just trying to take the gum off your chair
  • Adrien: I've never been to school before, I've never had friends, all this is sort of new to me
  • Adrien: *hands Marinette the umbrella*
  • Umbrella: *closes on Marinette*
  • Adrien: *laughs*
  • Marinette: *laughs*
  • Adrien: see you tomorrow!
  • Marinette: sqvnvdgjnstnkzgjnbrx
  • Tikki: pls relax Marinette
  • Marinette: SQVNVDGJNSTNKZGJNBRX
  • Plagg: hey Adrien don't let this ship become questionable, ok?
  • Adrien: don't worry, she's just a friend.
  • Adrien: a friend!!! :)
  • Wayzz: excellent choice, Master
  • Master Fu: those two were made for each other
  • Master Fu: anyway help me clear out all these sobbing spectators
  • Twenty thousand Adrienette shippers watching the scene from the street: OH MY GOD THEY'RE MADE FOR EACH OTHER
  • Master Fu: yeah I just said that, now buzz off, you're blocking traffic
  • Twenty thousand shippers: IF THEY DON'T END UP TOGETHER I WILL DIE
  • Master Fu: no you won't, now get up off the ground and stop crying
  • Twenty thousand shippers: IT'S NOT EVEN RAINING RIGHT NOW
  • Twenty thousand shippers: THIS IS ALL TEARS
  • Master Fu: god dammit I didn't sign up for this
  • ROLL CREDITS

anonymous asked:

How was the concert? Did you have fun? Tell me all the juicy bits how are they live? I'm sure I'll never see them cause Bighit hates Europe and I'm even more sure that if they do come they don't know abt Eastern Europe so I still won't be able to go :/

Dude…. It was amazing. And I really hope European ARMY gets to experience it some time soon! It was a really different experience from the TRB Dallas, mostly because I was so much closer last time, but this time I was p2 and I got to see all the choreo and shit but I was still close enough to feel close and it was just…. amazing. I want to write up a full fan account later but right now I’m just gonna list the top things I remember about each of the boys:

Kook: God. His solo stage was fucking remarkable. His footwork his voice his moves just. He is such an entertainer, he’s so superhuman. We had pretty good view of his thigh girth from our seats and it, too, was remarkable…. Jenny’s words, not mine….. He also followed Jin’s lead and stole an army bomb, but instead of sweetly returning it like Jin, he pretended to drop it like a little imp butt because he’s a fucking imp butt. When Jimin said “Did you like it?” his little “I liked it” was the cutest thing I have ever heard and I squealed and fell to the floor, he is just precious and talented and adorable. A complete dork, the hottest dork. 

Yoongi: Um just like fucking fire. Just. fire. His Cypher verse was immaculate, I’m talking full virgin birth immaculate, and his solo stage was fucking POWERFUL man. It was so emotional and powerful and I was like legit moved by him. He also dropped it low. He is so tiny and so beautiful and so fucking talented it hurts me. Fun fact: my little sister got drenched in Father Yoongi’s holy water during Cypher. 

Jin: Stunning. Charismatic. Hilarious. Talented. His solo was another world man. I think he actually had my favorite voice live?? Which I wasn’t expecting because last time it was Baby J but….. wow. Fucking stunning. He blew at least 4 kisses and stole 2 army bombs, one regular one, then one pink one when we did the rainbow ocean. He looked so polite and charming when he was asking the girl for them. He just looked happy and carefree and UGH just perfect. 

Taehyung: SHIT MAN HIS HIGH NOTES that’s right, this deep subterranean voiced motherfucker was SLAYING HIS FUCKING high notes during his solo like WOW it was better live than you can imagine. Probably the best high notes of the concert. And it seemed like he was throwing some extra ones in there.  He also LOVED to tease the crowd, like squat down and make cute faces at the fans. His charisma while dancing was off the charts, he goes from zero to too intense in 1 sec flat. There were eyebrows. 

Jimin: It’s really hard to understand the POWER in his dance until you see it live. He is….. he’s something else. His every move, every pause, every breath is just brimming with potential energy, he THROWS himself into the dances, you’ve never seen anything like it. He is a born performer. Even when he’s not dancing or singing, he’s performing. His voice is so clear and lovely. He started the concert with his hair all nicely combed down like a nice little fringe but by the end, he had done that thing where he ran his fingers through it to the point where it was off his forehead. He did this thing where he liked to gaze off all seriously into the crowd and probably give some poor fan a heart attack by looking straight into their souls. Rude as shit, always found a way to make every move a little bit nasty. Perfect, stunning, small. 

Hobi: …. I could not take my eyes off of him. I could not. First of all not only is he the most beautiful person I have ever seen in front of my eyes, but he is just….. his on-stage charisma is second to none. When he’s dancing, he’s still engaging the audience, he’s smiling, he’s just…. fuck I don’t even know how to describe it. He draws you in. He is by far, for me, the most comprehensively amazing live performer. His singing? Fucking amazing. Mama killed me. It was perfect. He knows how to work an audience, man. Ruder than Jimin even, always throwing in extra little rolls and thrusts, but you can’t even be mad at him, because he is HUMAN SUNSHINE and you know what I know we call him that all the time, I know that’s like his thing, but at this concert, I felt it, I felt happier just looking at him. I can’t… describe him. He’s just. The closest thing to magic that this dreary world has to offer. 

Namjoon: I…… I don’t even really know…. how to articulate…. any of this. Full disclosure I have been having a slow motion Kim Namjoon meltdown since summer 2015 but… this concert was the culmination of all of that. Arguably the most emotional moment of the concert was his solo stage. And listen, I was not even a huge fan of Reflection before this, like it was great and all but it was one of the ones I skipped over on the album. But he… jesus he just. He fucking felt this shit. He felt what he was saying, and I felt it, and every time he said ‘I wish I could love myself,’ the crowd shouted ‘we love you’ and fuck i have never felt so bonded with that many thousands of fucking people. It was this giant cohesive emotional moment and it was transcendent. I’m pretty sure he also found a way to make the rainbow crowd like a statement about racial equality, just the most philosophical beautiful asshole you’ve ever met. When the crowd got rowdy and people were getting hurt, he stopped everything and said, “no pushing please, safety is the most important thing” and would not proceed until there was order. He talked to the crowd like he was talking to friends, he was never full of himself or condescending, despite their immense undeniable success, like he was just so genuine and thankful, and as soon as he walked off that stage, I immediately missed him. He has utterly ruined human beings for me and I am honestly so fucked. 

thanekyrellcienaree  asked:

My dad doesn't even know how on point he is- I was singing get back to Hogwarts and I was doing malfoy's verse and I was like "look out world for the dawn of the day when everyone will do whatever I say and potter won't be in my way and I'll be the one who is totally-" and my dad yelled "Gay!" I'm still laughing

I just saw this and am laughing so hard right now. The first time my mom listened to starkids music it was firebringer and it was the finale and she turned to me and went “what is this?” And I literally explained the whole plot to her and she still didn’t get any of it. 😂

anonymous asked:

I feel like Marvin would hypnotize you so you fall and stay asleep while he pulls off your clothes. Taking his time to spread your legs and drag his fingers over your body, leaning up over you and whispering "I'm sorry I might get a little rough, but I'm sure you won't mind. Right, Bunny?" even though you can't hear him. Thrusting hard into you while his teeth bite into your collarbone, kissing and sucking over your chest.

Oooh I’ve never liked this before but I M I G H T LIKE IT NOW

  • H.G.: Hey Ernest.
  • Ernest: What?
  • H.G.: Can I share something with you from earlier today?
  • Ernest: What is it, H.G.?
  • H.G.: Well, I sent you a telegram...
  • Ernest: Mmhm.
  • H.G.: ...early in the morning.
  • Ernest: Yeah.
  • H.G.: Because I have to go out of town for one weekend this month, and so, I was like, I won't give specific dates, but "do you have any preference whether I go this weekend, or the next weekend?"
  • Ernest: Mmhm.
  • H.G.: Your response...
  • Ernest: *starts laughing*
  • H.G.: At 9:30 in the morning...
  • Ernest: *continues laughing*
  • H.G.: ..."Motherfucking John Cusack Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfucking The Raven bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit"
  • Ernest: *continues laughing even louder*
  • H.G.: No—no...no punctuation... Random capitalization. So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now."
  • H.G.: Forty-five minutes pass. I get a telegram from you: "Goddamn created The Raven and critics and shit right fucking Rufus Griswold goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit I can't even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just read this shit fuck John Cusack man"
  • H.G.: I respond, "Ernest, you're scaring me." An hour passes. You respond, "Motherfucking Spider-Man Spider-Man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit John Cusack
  • I'm very tired"
  • Ernest: *dying on the floor by this point*
  • H.G.: I'm just like, "No problem, Ernest. I'll try to do most of the talking at the writers' conference today." Immediate, like, response, I'm talkin' like five seconds later: "No man I'll just talk about the Raven poem all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about The Raven fuck dude I just read it a year and a half ago fuck John Cusack man he fucked over Spider-Man crazy Rufus Griswold rowing Trent resin or did the review fuck this guy who wrote The Raven I don't like dying I cant think of who the fuck wrote The Raven all I can think is the guy who played the guy who wrote The Raven who the fuck wrote The Raven?!" And then, in all capital letters, two hours later,
  • "EDGAR ALLAN POE"

anonymous asked:

Lol at your J2 addict post 😄. I'm in the agnostic camp on the whole J2 issues but I have both passionate het and hat friends. They're all lovely in their own way and I just hope if the question ever does get settled beyond a question of a doubt, people won't be too upset or hurt. It's such a polarising issue it's scary to think of it ever blowing up in a real and public way (which ever side happens to be right : (

Hello, dear anon!

Unfortunately I have to agree with you. This whole hats versus hets thing seems to get out of hand every now and then, and it no longer seems to be as much as seeking the truth for some, as it is about being right. The same issue seems to plague the shippers as well - even though shipping non-canon pairings is an entirely subjective experience, there seems to be a competition on which of the main ships is more “legitimate.”

It’s so exhausting. I’m not going to lie - I don’t like aggressive hets. I’m always blocking them left and right pre-emptively because I’d prefer not to have them entering my sphere. It’s always the same repetitive points that are so easily argued off - not worth my time. This is going to sound arrogant, but I see no point in even engaging in an argument with a person who doesn’t have their basics right. I have no problem with fencesitters or general fans who haven’t delved deeper, but with those that are highly invested in the J’s being straight.

I think the problem with some very loud people (on both sides) is that they get into things emotions first. This is how one gets overinvested. Their egoes rely on being right in what they believe. These people go stirring up trouble with those they see as their opponents. How does that help anyone? How do the J’s benefit from their fandom becoming a more and more turbulent and unwelcoming place?

As for the situation you described, I don’t think we’ll ever arrive there unless the J’s come out of the closet. As long as they’re bearding, the hets will always have the canon and we all know it - even if we know it’s not the real story. If this should ever come to pass, I hope people will put their feelings aside for a moment and consider it from the J’s point of view.

Being passionate is quite alright, but one shouldn’t make the mistake of putting their emotional well-being on the shoulders of other people. It’s a road to certain disappointment. Anyway, thanks for the message! I hope you don’t mind my little rant. Have a wonderful week, sweet anon!

Originally posted by the-winchester-cult

anonymous asked:

you wanted director sanvers prompts? so like i had the thought of them making a want/will/won't list (for sex, to be clear) or otherwise just discussing sex and kink and it could get quite amusing i'm sure? if that sounds interesting to you (sorry this is kinda vague, it's late i cannot do words right now apparently)

Healthy relationships involve a lot of discussions of wants and needs. Healthy triad relationships require even more. Healthy relationships with an interest in even the slightest hint of kink? So many conversations.

Which, cool. Lucy wanted this to work Danvers was an anxious piece of work, and as much as Lucy loved liked Danvers, she really wanted this to work. And Maggie, christ, where Alex was pliant and  soft, Maggie was push and pull and sometimes she was soft, but sometimes she pushed back and fought Lucy for control and that was fucking amazing. And the thought of Alex at their mercy? Lucy couldn’t wait.

She was very excited to hear about the wants of her two favorite women. Lucy had plans and fantasies, and things she wanted to do to them, but only if they wanted them too, and without very specific conversations, she knew that her ladies would give her information at a glacier’s pace. Alex worked best with direction, unsure and hesitant until she knew they loved what she did, loved her, and then she grew confident. Getting her to ask for things, for help or for touch or even space, that was a work in progress. And Maggie would take a bullet for either of them, but short of her storming in on a bad day and taking what she wanted, getting her to talk about herself was like pulling funds out of a senator’s ass.

Lucy expected some printed out checklists fresh off the internet. She knew Maggie had done a few things, so she probably had some idea of what she wanted.

She was not expecting Alex’s list.

It was nearly twelve pages, double sided. Not just a checklist, but each bullet point had dates and notes of her reactions, with further notes in a different color for how she felt about trying them with Maggie and Lucy. And Alex didn’t bring one copy, she brought one for each of them. And multi colored pens. And there were charts.

“Danvers, is this, is this a lab report?”

Alex bit the inside of her check, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “When I… when I came out to Sawyer… I mentioned that I never really liked being intimate. But you know, I thought I was just broken or something, so I just… tried a lot of stuff. To see if it worked.”

“And took notes.”

“I made it weird, didn’t I? This is weird.”

Way to go, Lane. “No, Alex, honey. This isn’t weird.”

Maggie reached across the table to still Alex’s hands. “Alex, it’s perfectly normal to try and find things you like, okay? This? This is just a different format than we’re used to.”

“Yeah, Alex, this, this is really helpful, okay? Maggie and I have tried thing with people we know we’re attracted to, so it’s different, we already know things we like and things we’re willing to try with different people. Knowing what you’ve tried and what you like about it? We can work with that.”

Alex still looked really uncomfortable. Maggie took a quick glance down a her copy, leaving her hand on Alex. “Wax play. You liked it?”

“I liked the heat. And I liked… I liked ice. The contrast was good. Just… not the touching.”

“Do you think you want to try that again? With us touching?” Lucy asked.

Her reply was instant. “I always want you to touch me.”

Lucy and Maggie shared a smile. That was good to hear, even if they knew Alex leaned into their touches, would nudge shoulders and play with their hair. Still, she grew up with Kara and used touch as a language, so it was good to know that they were welcome to do the same.

“You’re not a fan of handcuffs,” Maggie said.

“It… It didn’t end well.”

Lucy frowned, skimming the page. Finding the line, she followed to the notes, to the times Alex had tried it, to the dark red in. And Lucy decided she had a name for Winn to look up, and a body to bury. “He didn’t respect your safeword.”

Alex shrugged uncomfortably.

Maggie let her hand slid up Alex’s arm as she circled the table, leaning her weight against the taller woman’s form. “Alex, honey. We need to know, when you’re ready, so we don’t hurt you.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“And that’s fine. I like handcuffs and so does Lane, but you don’t. So that’s a hard limit for you, and that’s okay.”

“You guys don’t mind?”

“Honey, no.” Lucy was firm. “We want to make you, to make each other feel good. We can’t do that unless you’re comfortable, unless we’re all comfortable.”

Lucy gathered up the lists, and did a quick scan. Maggie had her arms wrapped around Alex, who’s head no longer seemed into the conversation. “Tell you what. You like charts, Danvers, so I’m going to make one that lines up what we all like and what we want to try. And we’ll keep these for reference, and for updating, as we discover what you like, okay?”

“Mhmm.”

“Good girl.”

Alex flushed. Maggie hid a grin in Alex’s shoulder. The one thing she and Lucy did not need a list to know was that Alex had a giant praise kink. It was fun. And might prove to be a very good distraction from her discomfort.

Maggie squeezed their favorite agent tighter, one hand moving to pull her face into a kiss. “And Alex, what if you’re just…  good girl, tonight? Hmmm?”

Alex whimpered.

Lucy smiled and made her way over, curling herself around the other two. “I think you’re ready to be our good girl tonight, and tomorrow we can sit down to go over the rest of this. Tonight, we just have some fun. Can we do that, tiger?”

    Alex nods, almost frantically, against the kiss Lucy presses to her lips. Lucy leans her weight into Alex, pushing her against Maggie’s body, squeezed in between her girlfriends’ arms. Lucy’s second favorite place for Alex to be.

anonymous asked:

I am so pissed off right now. My mom won't let me cut my hair because she says I'd look bad if I do that. It's very very hot where I live right now and I have super long, thick hair that makes me feel like I am constantly melting, even if I tie it up. I want to cut it short, like a pixie cut, but I am overweight and my mom keeps telling me that if I get that haircut I will look ugly because 'short hair only looks good on boys and skinny girls'. I fucking hate everything....

If that were true, then how does your mom explain THIS? *points at self* 

I hope this isn’t crossing a line, but I gotta be honest and say that your mom sounds like kind of a controlling, fatphobic jerk. Your hair is YOUR hair, not hers, just like your body is YOUR body, not hers, and so you’re the only one it belongs to and the only one who gets to make choices about it. You want to cut your hair off? Then fucking cut it off, and look cute as hell in the process.

I used to have hair down to my waist, and I loved it, but I had to cut it short (chin length) for health reasons, and eventually I got so fed up with dealing with it I shaved the sides and cut the rest to 2 inches and holy fuck do I love it. I live in Houston where it’s hot and humid as a sauna, and this style is so cool, it’s so easy to wash and comb and style, it never gets tangled, and I look like a boss. The trimming and shaving is a little bit of a pain, but that’s it.

At first, my mom begged me not to do it because she thought it would look bad, but within a few days she came around and decided it was cute. I don’t know if your mom will come around, but geez, fuck the opinion of someone who talks to you like that and puts you down like that.

Your hair. Your body. Your choice. Do want you want to do.

mrtitanic  asked:

I hope the choice to decrease the number of Gatewatch cards doesn't mean that we won't get more of their stories. Although BFZ was very poorly conducted (IMO) I have felt that the Gatewatch stories have been improving dramatically - SOI/EMN were amazing and Amonkhet is off to an even better start. The characters are truly evolving. I'd hate to see them go away now that creative has finally got them right.

I said we are decreasing how often the Gatewatch appears on planeswalker cards. Many people who didn’t read everything in the post are applying it to the story, but that isn’t what I said.

empressarisu  asked:

HC: I like to imagine that even when Victor and Yuuri get into an argument/fight, they'll still be in constant physical contact with each other: touches assuring that yes, we're having a disagreement right now, but I *won't* ignore/leave you just because of this. They won't speak to each other, they're petty that way, but a hand on a shoulder- have you showered already? A hand on an arm- have you eaten yet? A hand on a waist- are you sleepy? Those simple things. (1/2)

AWWWWWW this is so sweet and I totally share this headcanon!!! They slip into bed still angry with each other but after like, a minute, Yuuri silently slips a hand around Victor’s waist and Victor quietly cuddles against him and they’re still mad but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re in love :( :( 

anonymous asked:

Seriously i don't even know what to say about chiam. Now we have liam's legal actions about the baby. Can at least someone remind them and simon that they're not brangeline, beyonce. Sorry but that kid won't bring any hype out of uk no matter what they'll do. Melly in your opinion even if chiam break up (which i doubt a wedding more possible i expect their statement to say something about their relationship too) we won't get a paternity denial, right? Damn those babygates😠

There’s a few things happening with this, and to be honest this was my face as I read through it:

I’m actually pretty grossed out by what’s happening here (when haven’t I been through this whole thing, let’s be real). They basically issued out a press release  to create an illusion of faux privacy, while simultaneously drumming up artificially high media interest and saying to the paps “THIS BABY HAS A BOUNTY ON ITS HEAD, GET THE PHOTOS”.  Its important to remind folks that Cheryl has a super injunction. She’s had it since 2011. Basically, Cheryl is ensuring that she gets papped every time she steps out of the house with a tram (and she had pap photos taken of the delivery of the tram to her house that she had already moved out of by that point MIGHT I ADD, so paps even know what sort of pram she bought). That statement isn’t about making sure they have privacy - privacy is the exact opposite of what’s wanted here. 

I’ve said it (lots) before, but I definitely do not think there will be any kind of paternity denial. What happened here, combined with how Liam fucked off to LA for pretty much her entire pregnancy,  looks pretty cut and dry to me: Cheryl got a famous father’s name for her IVF comeback baby. Judging by how they’ve seeded for months that Liam is leaving the UK shortly after the birth of the baby that’s been born already I would bet my boobs on it  and will be gone for a “long time” for “promotional obligations”, I’m guessing after this Liam will be seen rarely, if ever with this baby. 

Mostly though, the way this baby is going to be monetized in such a calculated way really bums me out in my heart boob. 

anonymous asked:

When will you be continuing “When Everything’s Made to be Broken”? My absolute fav right now btw!!!

Alright.  This has been sitting in my inbox since Friday and I’ve been wifflewaffling on how to respond since I saw it.  

Here’s the thing.  I LOVE feedback, and I love Love LOVE getting messages in my box about my fic.  What writer doesn’t?  It’s what we crave, it’s validating, it’s encouraging, and it can be very motivating, especially for those of us that don’t get thousands or even hundreds of notes on our fics.  Don’t get me wrong - I have a select group of supporters that are freaking FANTASTIC, that consistently cheerlead, reblog, send asks, and send messages, and this has nothing to do with them (you know who you are, you lovely and wonderful people), but all things considered, it’s a fairly small group.  So when I get an ask, I’m freaking *thrilled* because this isn’t an everyday occurrence for me, which is why I usually give the benefit of the doubt when I get something kinda iffy - not because I’m that optimistic regarding the intentions of the sender, but because feedback is often so limited that I tend to feel that beggars can’t be choosers.  

This ask, though?  This hurt.  I’ve no idea what the sender intended, but this made me feel like my efforts aren’t good enough.  I mean, I put out a part five days before this ask came in.  Five.  Days.  And this part was over 3000 words.  These were 3000 words that I wrote when I was trying to get my 25 page lit review done for school.  These were 3000 words that I was staying up late for, NOT SLEEPING when I needed to because I love the story and didn’t want to make my supporters wait any longer.  3000 words that I put to paper while I was planning a 20 minute presentation for school, a project which comprises a significant portion of my grade.  3000 words that I managed to string together while I found out my mother-in-law has stage 4 cancer, sat through 2 surgeries and three hospital visits, and am now helping the husband coordinate her placement into an assisted living facility because she is no longer capable of safely living on her own.  This part was written while I dealt with the daily grind of raising 2 toddlers and trying to keep my house together, on top of trying to cope with the realities of my life that are too painful and personal to share here.

This message just told me that all the work I put in wasn’t good enough, that more is needed.  The “ My absolute fav right now btw!!! “ that was thrown in feels like an afterthought - something that would have been perfectly lovely and encouraging all on its own, but now is ultimately meaningless since it’s just an add on to a demand for more.

Should you fight this Dragon Age woman?
  • Morrigan: hot mage with a voice that could melt butter. Would magically fuck you up and step on your corpse. You'll be happy about it. Do not recommend fighting.
  • Leliana: why tHE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT YOU MONSTER but not recommened. DO NOT. She has the Maker on her side.
  • Wynne: WORLD'S FASTEST GRANDMA. Also no please don't she doesn't deserve it.
  • Flemeth: HAHAHAHAHHAA fabled witch of the wilds fight her NO DON'T FIGHT HER I WAS KIDDING
  • Isabela: pirate. A fucking pirate. Could seduce you to death. You have like maybe a 13% chance of winning. Also where the fuck did she go she's too fast.
  • Merrill: I mean... why would you even want to? Get away from her right now. Beautiful cinnamon roll. Too pure.
  • Hawke: would love to fight you. You probably won't win. More than likely. But will laugh it off if she loses.
  • Aveline: NO. AVOID. FOR YOUR OWN HEALTH, DO NOTTTTTT.
  • Bethany: how dare you???
  • Meredith: She chats shit. Fight her.
  • Leliana (round 2): she's not fucking around this time, fight all you want but she will fuck you up.
  • Morrigan (round 2): no no no. Leave her alone. P.S. don't go near the water
  • Cassandra: DO YOU HAVE A DEATHWISH?????? SHE CAN PUNCH A BEAR WITH BRUTE FORCE. HER LIFE IS NARRATED WITH DEATH METAL MUSIC. DO NOOOOTTTTTTT.
  • Vivienne: could kill your corpse, I think that says enough
  • Sera: SHE WILL FART IN YOUR FACE AND SHOOT HOLES IN YOUR CHEST. FIGHT THIS BALL OF ENERGY, IT'LL BE FUNNY TO SEE YOU TRY
  • Josephine: cute lil chub ambassador who likes romance and frilly clothes. Easy to fight. Oh wait. Did I mention she was a bard? Lol good luck