i wish you were here holding me

walking on egg shells. has it really been a year?
I miss you so much.
It feels like i know you less and less each day and i want you more and more. i need you.
nights are the worst. sometimes the only way i can sleep is if i convince myself you’re thinking of me too. Is if i trick myself into feeling your presence.
Some nights i love you so much. some nights i was so bad to crawl inside you. i want to be one with you again. do you remember the first time?
do you remember what it felt like to be with me? or has it been so long you’ve forgotten? am i that far away? have you moved along that much?
i hold on. i think you’ve become a ghost. you keep slipping from my arms. from my hands. from my fingertips.
lonely for you. only with you. just want you.
i can’t hold onto someone who isn’t there.
i wish you were here.
i wish you were here.
i wish you were here.
i write you letters. in my head. sometimes they’re in my sleep. just when i think i’m finally okay and doing well, i see you again. i think you’re haunting me. the other day i woke up at 4:53 in the morning. i heard myself saying your name in my sleep again.
i wrote you sheets of words that strung along to make beautiful poetry. was that out of love?
i wrote you a song. a few actually. they’re sad. i was afraid to sing to you and i was afraid to read to you because i was afraid you would hate it. you’re quite picky.
you were my first everything. you were my best friend, my partner in crime.
I guess it still hurts. sometimes. not as much. i feel like it hurts me when it hurts you. an agreement to forget until someone remembers.
i still wonder if it ever hurt you. i wonder if hurting me, hurt you.
it’s like when you punch someone and your hand kills after; you can’t hurt someone else without sacrificing something yourself.
i guess what hurts me, what will probably always hurt, is how much i put into something you already knew was going completely nowhere.
i wish you would have stopped me from the start.
i just wanted you to love me. show me love. give me love. breathe me love. love me with love.
lust. you showed me lust. gave me lust. breathed lust into the back of my throat. loved me, but only with lust.
—  diana silvers

I think about you constantly.

I wonder what life would be like if you were still here. I imagine all of the things you’d say. I imagine all of the different adventures we would have gone on.

I wonder who I would be if you were here. I wonder what we would all be like. I think about all of the different ways things would’ve turned out with you in our lives.

I miss you all the time. I miss you so much that my heart hurts. My heart literally clenches tightly when I think of you, as though it’s trying to hold itself together while my thoughts try and tear it apart.

Time is supposed to heal all wounds but, it seems as though time just provided me with a band-aid that gets old and falls off more often than not.

I know you’d hate it, but I still cry for you. I still sit up at night and wish that you were here. I still talk to you and ask you for advice.

I can’t help but want you here. Life has moved on but my heart and emotions haven’t. I can’t move on.

I have your picture everywhere. I think it’s because I’m afraid that one day I’ll forget your face.

Keep reading

NO but this is too heartbreaking, because it could just as well be a scene where Newt is already dead, not just an awesome edit to show his death.

Just imagine it, the surviving Gladers having a bonfire to honor all their fallen friends, and Thomas takes a jar of that drink and sits down and holds it up, thinking “Here’s to you Newt. Wish you were here.” and then taking a sip all seriously and stuff but he just ends up spitting it all out like the first time

AND Newt’s ghost is sitting next to him, laughing his arse off, saying “Jeez Tommy all that and you’re still a bloody Greenie” but wishing he really was there to laugh with his friend, just one more time.

Also, this is not my gif, I think its this awesome person’s, if I’m wrong please correct me :)

backstreet boys sentence starters
  • “loneliness has always been a friend of mine”
  • “i’m leaving my life in your hands”
  • “people say i’m crazy”
  • “i can’t get you out of my head”
  • “i dont care who you are, where you’re from, or what you did. as long as you love me”
  • “it seems like we’re meant to be”
  • “backstreets back, alright!”
  • “am i original?”
  • “am i the only one?”
  • “i’m breaking”
  • “show me the meaning of being lonely”
  • “tell me why i can’t be there where you are”
  • “life goes on”
  • “we never said forever”
  • “your every wish will be done”
  • “there’s something missing in my heart”
  • “i have no place to go”
  • “i surrender my heart, body and soul”
  • “you were missing in my heart”
  • “please try to forgive me”
  • “stay here”
  • “hold me”
  • “you can save me from the person i’ve become”
  • “loneliness is tragic”
  • “help me”
  • “i’m here with my confession”
  • “i have nothing to hide”
  • “i’m looking back on the things i’ve done”
  • “quit playing games with my heart”
  • “nothing’s like it used to be”
  • “sometimes i wish i could turn back time”
  • “i should have known”
  • “everything i do is for you”
  • “love is all i have to give”
  • “i’ll never break your heart”
  • “i don’t have a fancy car”
  • “does it seem like he’s not listening to a word we say?”
  • “i wish i could give the world to you”
  • “i’ve got it going on”
  • “i want it that way”
  • “we’re two worlds apart”
  • “tell me why”
  • “ain’t nothin’ but a heartache”
  • “it’s too late”
Poem 1

Can’t you see?
Can’t you tell?
Is it even
how much
I wish you were
next to me and
holding me
against you?

Is it too
that I
want you
so badly?
Is it
too much for you
to figure out that
I want to
see you
in front of me and
sweet nothings
to me
while I
play with your hair?

Is it so
that I
desire to
wrap myself all around
every night?
That I want to kiss every
bruise, and
broken hearted
moment you’ve faced.

If you saw my eyes
right now
you’d see
all of that
heart pounding so much it hurts and then it
that I know you

My eyes are swollen because I cried about you last night and someone asked me why they were swollen and those stupid tears sprang up again I can’t wait until the day you don’t have this hold anymore because I am so angry you make me so angry but I miss you and I don’t know what to do without you here and if you are gone you should stay gone but I just wish this had never happened and we could go back to the way we were this time last year.
—  Subtweets #2
I wish I could hold onto the moment 2 years ago where you were cuddling me in the new sweatshirt I bought you. For the first time in my life I felt so safe and loved. In the darkest moments, it was the memory that I held dear. Now, it’s the memory that hurts the most. How did we end up here?
—  The Final Wave Challenge #12 - Jess Amelia
Deployment Playlist (Spotify link included)


Soldier’s Wife by American Young
When You’re Gone by Avril Lavigne
Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne
Wish You Were Here by Avril Lavigne
God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton
Wherever You Will Go by The Calling
You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell
I’ll Be Home Soon by Craig Morgan
Thinkin’ Bout You by Daniela Andrade (its a cover)
You Had Me At Hello by ADTR
If It Means a Lot to You by ADTR
Travelin’ Soldier by Dixie Chicks
Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding
Far From Home by 5FDP
Where’d You Go by Fort Minor
Ass Back Home by Gym Class Heroes
Wanted by Hunter Hayes
I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes
I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz
Letters From Home by John Michael Montgomery
Forever by John Michael Montgomery
Hey Pretty Girl by Kip Moore
All I Want by Kodaline
You and I by Lady Gaga
I Drive Your Truck by Lee Brice
From Where You Are by Lifehouse
Daylight by Maroon 5
Everywhere by Michelle Branch
I Will Wait by Momford & Sons
Proof by Paramore
Carolina by Parmalee
Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips
Sleeping With The Telephone by Reba McEntire
Your Call by Secondhand Serenade
From This Moment On by Shania Twain
Sound Of Your Heart by Shawn Hook
Jet Lag - Simple Plan
Set The Fire To The Third Bar - Snow Patrol
Wait For Me - Theory of a Deadman
If You’re reading This by Tim McGraw
I Just Love You by Tim McGraw
American Soldier by Toby Keith
Semper Fi by Trace Adkins
Doubt by Twenty One Pilots
Miles Apart by Yellowcard

I know it hurt you;
It hurt me too,
But now that you’re gone
All I know is I miss you.

You were there for so long,
I never thought you would leave.
I though you had another year
Waiting up your sleeve.

The day that you left
Was the saddest of my life.
I remember sitting at home
And crying all day and night.

I might be selfish 
But I wish you were here,
Or if you stayed
For one more year.

I know you loved me,
And I still love you too.
So I’m trying to be strong
Just for you.

I know I’m not perfect.
I know I’ll never be.
I just hope you’re up there
And that you’re proud of me.

You had to let go
Even though you were holding on for so long,
But there’s not a day I don’t think of you
And how you were so strong.

I just want to tell you
That you’re always in my heart.
Even though I still cry
I know we’re not apart.

Thinking of you, Grandpa…

—  Amanda Dwyer

Dazai goes out to Odasaku’s grave every year on the day he died. He breathes in the sea air, sitting next to the grave and gazes out to the waves. Some days it’s sunny and clear and other days it’s pouring rain. But either way he sits. He sits and he talks. He talks about what’s happened over the last year. How he’s tried to make curry but he still can’t handle spice. How his new coworkers at the ADA are all fascinating people. And how many people he’s managed to save so far. He talks. He talks until he can’t speak anymore and then he sits in solemn silence.

Dazai breathes in the sharp sea air, holding it in until his lungs feel like they’ll burst. The words are always on his mind as he sits, eyes closed, quietly as the salty breeze flows through his hair.

I wish you were still here to see this with me.

I feel stupid for thinking I ever had a chance with someone like you. I feel stupid for loving you as much as I did. I feel stupid for believing every single lie you told me. I feel so stupid for crying when you broke my helpless heart. but mostly, I feel stupid that a year later, when you’re so far long gone, I still miss you like it was yesterday, still holding my breath, waiting for you to come home.
—  I feel so stupid

my definition of a real solider right here, we didn’t talk on the phone long that night of my birthday but i do remember you saying “talk to me nice” wearing that same vest with your chains swangin. I miss you like crazy, if you were still here i’d probably be on the phone w/ you texting or face timing you. all i could say when i found out is why why why. I really do wish, you could of made the right choice that day of your accident there’s soo many things i wish i could’ve done. As soon as i heard my bags were packed waiting to come see you. I just wish i got to see you and hold you before you left. I know that you were with me and you are watching over me, i know that you are cured and in Gods hands. He has better and bigger plans for you even though you did have so much life ahead of you, everything happens for a reason. I pray and think about you everyday, nothing nobody say will get to me or make me feel different about the way i feel for you. You were my american dream and i still wish the best for you. It’s sad that things went the way it went, and i wish i could’ve saved you. but there’s nothing i could’ve done to help keep you alive, i will bring myself to your grave some day with a bottle of henny, a blunt & tears of joy. My boy. ❤️💛 long live kev. #KLC #solider