walking on egg shells. has it really been a year?
I miss you so much.
It feels like i know you less and less each day and i want you more and more. i need you.
nights are the worst. sometimes the only way i can sleep is if i convince myself you’re thinking of me too. Is if i trick myself into feeling your presence.
Some nights i love you so much. some nights i was so bad to crawl inside you. i want to be one with you again. do you remember the first time?
do you remember what it felt like to be with me? or has it been so long you’ve forgotten? am i that far away? have you moved along that much?
i hold on. i think you’ve become a ghost. you keep slipping from my arms. from my hands. from my fingertips.
lonely for you. only with you. just want you.
i can’t hold onto someone who isn’t there.
i wish you were here.
i wish you were here.
i wish you were here.
i write you letters. in my head. sometimes they’re in my sleep. just when i think i’m finally okay and doing well, i see you again. i think you’re haunting me. the other day i woke up at 4:53 in the morning. i heard myself saying your name in my sleep again.
i wrote you sheets of words that strung along to make beautiful poetry. was that out of love?
i wrote you a song. a few actually. they’re sad. i was afraid to sing to you and i was afraid to read to you because i was afraid you would hate it. you’re quite picky.
you were my first everything. you were my best friend, my partner in crime.
I guess it still hurts. sometimes. not as much. i feel like it hurts me when it hurts you. an agreement to forget until someone remembers.
i still wonder if it ever hurt you. i wonder if hurting me, hurt you.
it’s like when you punch someone and your hand kills after; you can’t hurt someone else without sacrificing something yourself.
i guess what hurts me, what will probably always hurt, is how much i put into something you already knew was going completely nowhere.
i wish you would have stopped me from the start.
i just wanted you to love me. show me love. give me love. breathe me love. love me with love.
lust. you showed me lust. gave me lust. breathed lust into the back of my throat. loved me, but only with lust.
I wonder what life would be like if you were still here. I imagine all of the things you’d say. I imagine all of the different adventures we would have gone on.
I wonder who I would be if you were here. I wonder what we would all be like. I think about all of the different ways things would’ve turned out with you in our lives.
I miss you all the time. I miss you so much that my heart hurts. My heart literally clenches tightly when I think of you, as though it’s trying to hold itself together while my thoughts try and tear it apart.
Time is supposed to heal all wounds but, it seems as though time just provided me with a band-aid that gets old and falls off more often than not.
I know you’d hate it, but I still cry for you. I still sit up at night and wish that you were here. I still talk to you and ask you for advice.
I can’t help but want you here. Life has moved on but my heart and emotions haven’t. I can’t move on.
I have your picture everywhere. I think it’s because I’m afraid that one day I’ll forget your face.
NO but this is too heartbreaking, because it could just as well be a scene where Newt is already dead, not just an awesome edit to show his death.
Just imagine it, the surviving Gladers having a bonfire to honor all their fallen friends, and Thomas takes a jar of that drink and sits down and holds it up, thinking “Here’s to you Newt. Wish you were here.” and then taking a sip all seriously and stuff but he just ends up spitting it all out like the first time
AND Newt’s ghost is sitting next to him, laughing his arse off, saying “Jeez Tommy all that and you’re still a bloody Greenie” but wishing he really was there to laugh with his friend, just one more time.
Also, this is not my gif, I think its this awesome person’s, if I’m wrong please correct me :)
My eyes are swollen because I cried about you last night and someone asked me why they were swollen and those stupid tears sprang up again I can’t wait until the day you don’t have this hold anymore because I am so angry you make me so angry but I miss you and I don’t know what to do without you here and if you are gone you should stay gone but I just wish this had never happened and we could go back to the way we were this time last year.
I wish I could hold onto the moment 2 years ago where you were cuddling me in the new sweatshirt I bought you. For the first time in my life I felt so safe and loved. In the darkest moments, it was the memory that I held dear. Now, it’s the memory that hurts the most. How did we end up here?
Soldier’s Wife by American Young When You’re Gone by Avril Lavigne Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne Wish You Were Here by Avril Lavigne God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton Wherever You Will Go by The Calling You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell I’ll Be Home Soon by Craig Morgan Thinkin’ Bout You by Daniela Andrade (its a cover) You Had Me At Hello by ADTR If It Means a Lot to You by ADTR Travelin’ Soldier by Dixie Chicks Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding Far From Home by 5FDP Where’d You Go by Fort Minor Ass Back Home by Gym Class Heroes Wanted by Hunter Hayes I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz Letters From Home by John Michael Montgomery Forever by John Michael Montgomery Hey Pretty Girl by Kip Moore All I Want by Kodaline You and I by Lady Gaga I Drive Your Truck by Lee Brice From Where You Are by Lifehouse Daylight by Maroon 5 Everywhere by Michelle Branch I Will Wait by Momford & Sons Proof by Paramore Carolina by Parmalee Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips Sleeping With The Telephone by Reba McEntire Your Call by Secondhand Serenade From This Moment On by Shania Twain Sound Of Your Heart by Shawn Hook Jet Lag - Simple Plan Set The Fire To The Third Bar - Snow Patrol Wait For Me - Theory of a Deadman If You’re reading This by Tim McGraw I Just Love You by Tim McGraw American Soldier by Toby Keith Semper Fi by Trace Adkins Doubt by Twenty One Pilots Miles Apart by Yellowcard
Dazai goes out to Odasaku’s grave every year on the day he died. He breathes in the sea air, sitting next to the grave and gazes out to the waves. Some days it’s sunny and clear and other days it’s pouring rain. But either way he sits. He sits and he talks. He talks about what’s happened over the last year. How he’s tried to make curry but he still can’t handle spice. How his new coworkers at the ADA are all fascinating people. And how many people he’s managed to save so far. He talks. He talks until he can’t speak anymore and then he sits in solemn silence.
Dazai breathes in the sharp sea air, holding it in until his lungs feel like they’ll burst. The words are always on his mind as he sits, eyes closed, quietly as the salty breeze flows through his hair.
I feel stupid for thinking I ever had a chance with someone like you. I feel stupid for loving you as much as I did. I feel stupid for believing every single lie you told me. I feel so stupid for crying when you broke my helpless heart. but mostly, I feel stupid that a year later, when you’re so far long gone, I still miss you like it was yesterday, still holding my breath, waiting for you to come home.
my definition of a real solider right here, we didn’t talk on the phone long that night of my birthday but i do remember you saying “talk to me nice” wearing that same vest with your chains swangin. I miss you like crazy, if you were still here i’d probably be on the phone w/ you texting or face timing you. all i could say when i found out is why why why. I really do wish, you could of made the right choice that day of your accident there’s soo many things i wish i could’ve done. As soon as i heard my bags were packed waiting to come see you. I just wish i got to see you and hold you before you left. I know that you were with me and you are watching over me, i know that you are cured and in Gods hands. He has better and bigger plans for you even though you did have so much life ahead of you, everything happens for a reason. I pray and think about you everyday, nothing nobody say will get to me or make me feel different about the way i feel for you. You were my american dream and i still wish the best for you. It’s sad that things went the way it went, and i wish i could’ve saved you. but there’s nothing i could’ve done to help keep you alive, i will bring myself to your grave some day with a bottle of henny, a blunt & tears of joy. My boy. ❤️💛 long live kev. #KLC #solider