Everything looked the same, the houses the streets even the sign that held the towns name looked the same. Riverdale like all small towns never change, maybe that’s why your heart felt warmer as you passed the welcome too sign. You hadn’t lived in Riverdale for ten years yet as your parents drove down the roads you still remember all the memories you had here as a child.
Passing Betty and Archie’s house made reality hit you the fact you hadn’t been here in ten years all your friends would of grown up without you. All the promises you made to keep in touch disappeared when you left the small town. How was you suppose to face them in school tomorrow when they had probably forgotten you.
“I can’t believe we managed to get the old house back, how crazy is that Y/N you’ll be back in your old room before you know it”
You don’t acknowledge what your father had said instead you kept staring out the window. Your old house, your old room being able to see the treehouse the one thing linked to the one person who you hoped forgot about you.
~“Jug I don’t want to leave you, your my best friend in the whole world”
“I know Y/N I wish you could live here with me but you gotta stay with your parents but promise me you’ll write”
“I promise Jughead I promise”~
Just kids you’d managed to keep writing to him until you stopped. You were too busy or well you knew the truth you’d forgotten. You hoped that Jughead had forgotten you that way him seeing you would hurt less.
Unpacking wasn’t hard you made sure the curtains of your room were shut so you wouldn’t be met with the pain of what was, what could never be again. By the time everyone had unpacked no one was in the mood to cook so there was only one place on your mind.
“I’ve rung Pop’s Y/N do you mind going to pick it up if you remember the way” you roll your eyes at your mother how could you forget the best joint in town.
Like everything else in Riverdale Pop’s hadn’t changed the dinner was radiating light in the almost dark night. Once inside you felt once again at home remembering the burgers and the shakes you use to stuff down as a kid.
“Hi um pick up for Y/L/N”
“Be just a minute Hun” you nodded to the cook before taking a seat in a booth. A few rows down you could see some kids your age the three of them looked like they were having a good night. But something about the back of two of the heads seems familiar.
“Order for Y/L/N” you stood up ready to grab the paper bag but before you could something, well more like someone caught your eye.
A blacked hair boy that had a crown shaped beanie on his head, as he went to climb over the girl and sit next to her his eyes caught yours. It couldn’t be but of course it was you knew that at some point it would happen maybe better here then in school. The boy and girl opposite him turned to look at you as well, it was the three of them. The three people that in your childhood life meant the most to you.
“Y/N?” Betty was the first to speak up scrambling over Archie she ran towards you engulfing you into a hug.
“Hi Betty” your voice sounding thin as if you were ready to brake down into tears. Archie was next not saying anything he pulled Betty away from you only to have her join again once his now strong arms were around you.
The raven haired girl just stood confused as to why her friends were acting this way. Archie and Betty finally pulled away from you though Betty kept your hand in hers to make sure it was actually you.
“I can’t believe it” his voice was the one to brake the silence, he moved around the girl to stand meters away from you. You was ready for whatever the boy was going to scream at you how he would react.
“Hi Jug” you breath out a name you thought a few months ago you would never say again.
“Ten years and all I get is a hi Jug” you bite the inside of your cheek ready for the rest of the words to come falling out of his mouth. But instead of harsh words you get him hugging you holding you close to him, something new as you still remember that he was never much of a hugger. When you pull away he has somewhat of a smile on his face. Yours showing completely as you stand in-between all your old friends.
“Y/N I’m Veronica since these losers would introduce me” you take Veronica’s hand shaking it before you realise that you should of been home ten minutes ago with food for your parents.
“Guys is love to stay honest I wish I could but I gotta get these burgers back to my parents, Betty, Archie catch up tomorrow I swear we have to walk to school like always” you smile squeezing their hands.
“Veronica I can’t wait to get to know you more, come on Jug be the gentleman and walk me home?” In your heart though you knew you just needed to talk to him more.
He waves bye to the others who completely understand why you asked him Betty and Archie probably filling in Veronica on the relationship between you and Jughead. Both of you saying a finale goodbye before Jughead grabs the paper bag and your hand and walking out the door.
“I’m sorry” both of you say at the same time, a small blush creeping onto your cheeks.
“Let’s not talk about it,kinda both our faults but you’re back now that’s what matters, what I hope is for good”
“I don’t think I ever want to leave this place again, I don’t wanna ever leave you again Jug”
“That’s good enough for me” and like that you was walking hand in hand like you did as children chasing the sunset.
let me tell y’all a little story….it’s 2 am in your car windows down, you pass my street, the memories start. you say it’s in the past, you drive straight ahead you’re thinking that i hate you now cause you still don’t know what i never said. i wish you would come back, wish i never hung up the phone like i did and i wish you knew that i’ll never forget you as long as i live and i wish you were right here, right now, it’s all good i wish you would. it’s 2 AM in my room headlights pass the window pane, i think of you. we’re a crooked love, in a straight line down, makes you wanna run and hide then it makes you turn right back around. i wish you would come back, wish i never hung up the phone like i did. i wish you knew that i’ll never forget you as long as i live and i wish you were right here, right now, it’s all good i wish you would. i wish we could go back and remember what we were fighting for and i, wish you knew that i miss you too much to be mad anymore and i wish you were right here, right now, it’s all good i wish you would. i, i, i, i, i, i, wish, i wish i, i, i, i, i, i, wish, i wish i, i, i, i, i, i, wish, i wish. you always knew how to push my buttons you give me everything and nothing this mad mad love makes you come running to stand back where you stood i wish you would, i wish you would i wish you would, i wish you would i, i, i, i, i, i, wish, i wish i…2 AM, here we are see your face, hear my voice in the dark we’re a crooked love in a straight line down makes you wanna run and hide but it made us turn right back around. i wish you would come back wish i never hung up the phone like i did i, wish you knew that i’ll never forget you as long as i live and i, wish you were right here, right now, it’s all good i wish you would. i wish you would come back, wish i never hung up the phone like i did and i wish you knew that i’ll never forget you as long as i live and i wish you were right here, right now, it’s all good i wish you would. i wish we could go back and remember what we were fighting for and i wish you knew that i miss you too much to be mad anymore and i wish you were right here, right now, it’s all good i wish you would. you always knew how to push my buttons you give me everything and nothing this mad mad love makes you come running to stand back where you stood i wish you would, i wish you would i wish you would, i wish you would. i, i, i, i, i, i, wish, i wish i, i, i, i, i, i, wish, i wish i, i, i, i, i, i, wish, i wish you would.
Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Natasha x
Bucky, Platonic Tony x reader.
Warnings: ANGST. Pregnancy,
violence, insecurity and self-loathing, Mutant reader (powers similar to Jean
from X-men with a little immortality thrown in) smut sorta. Tiniest amount of
fluff, so much swearing.
Song: Avril Lavigne-I wish you were
I can be
I can be strong
But with you, it’s not like that at all
4 Months since the incident in Bucky’s bedroom, you’re standing in the day care centre willing yourself to let go of Ari as the teacher approaches you. Bucky is standing next to you, scanning the room for threats. “Everything’s fine James relax” you whisper. His shoulders relax slightly but his eyes keep moving, “I don’ like this kitty, we shoulda hired a nanny” he replies “She needs to socialize with other children James, it’s going to be fine.” You hand over Ari to the teacher stifling a sniffle.
“Be a good girl for Mrs. Patterson, Ari, okay?” you add as you place a kiss on her cheek. Mrs. Patterson gives you a sympathetic smile as she turns to leave and you grab Bucky’s hand as you watch her. you don’t notice him smiling down at you.
That gives a shit
Behind this wall
You’ve just walked through it
7 Months since the incident in Bucky’s bedroom and you’re man down with the flu. Bucky’s been taking care of you and Ari without fail, hauling in soup and crackers, taking over midnight feedings and grocery runs, he’s slowly pushing past your defenses, proving himself time and again. You’re starting to trust again, feeling more comfortable around him as each day passes “Ya need anythin darlin?” he asks you. You smile at him “Nah Buck, I’ve got everything I need right here.” The look of pure happiness on his face melts your heart.
I love the way you are
It’s who I am, don’t have to try hard
We always say, say it like it is
And the truth is that I really miss
11 Months and you’re starting to crack. It’s getting harder not to be with him, harder to keep holding on to your anger and hurt. He spends most nights in your room now, falling asleep with Ari on his chest, you don’t dare wake him. This,you think, this is what I wanted all along.
Damn, damn, damn
What I’d do to have you
Here, here, here
I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damn
What I’d do to have you
Near, near, near
I wish you were here
14 months when Bucky broaches the subject of living together. “I think we needa home ya know? Somewhere that isn’t filled with superhero’s an Ari can try an be normal? With a yard an a swing set?” He hesitates “I founda place just outside the city, it has a big yard an plenty of space for a puppy” he watches you nervously. “Well Buck let’s have a look then” you reply, your heart fit to burst with happiness.
No, I don’t wanna let go
I just wanna let you to know
That I never wanna let go
16 months,you think as Bucky sits you down to “talk”. “Darlin I wanna ask ya somethin, but ya gotta promise ta listen” he adds. “I pomise James. What’s going on?” you ask, slightly nervous. He’s been distant lately, stand offish, you don’t know what to make of it, it scares you.
“I’ve been thinkin bout us a lot recently ya know?” he runs a hand through his hair “And nothins changed for me, I still love ya, maybe more now than I did then. Ya and Ari bring so much happiness inta my life, an I don’t wanna lose either of ya.” He continues shakily “I can’ imagine having this taken’ away from me, I need ya and the baby like I need air, so if ya tell me nothins gonna happen beyond what we have now, I’ll be okay with lovin ya and ya not lovin me” he swallows heavily “What I guess I’m trying to ask ya is will ya give me a chance? Ta try and be what I shoulda been ta ya when this first started? Will ya give me a chance ta make up for my mistakes? Ta love ya like ya deserve?”
Chewing on your bottom lip, you think back over the past year. Bucky has been a constant presence, never faltering in his devotion to Ari. Or to you when you think about it. He hasn’t pushed you for anything, he’s supported every decision you made, taken care of you when you couldn’t take care of yourself but…
Do you still love him?/ You think.
Do you trust him? You question.
Do you want him? You ask yourself.
Taking a deep breath you finally answer him:
“Yes Bucky, Lets give us a shot”
Smiling you grab his hand and pull him into a hug.
“I aint never letting you go again Kitty cat” he whispers in your ear.
Damn, damn, damn,
What I’d do to have you
Here, here, here
I wish you were here (i wish you were)
Damn, damn, damn
What I’d do to have you
Near, near, near
I wish you were here
Tags: Alright there you have it guys! Thank you all so much for sticking with me. New fic soon!
A request of a phone call between you and Joji (as he’s always away, overseas), based on ‘you suck Charlie’ by Joji himself. Sorry for not feeling too inspired. I think it works better if you listen to the song as you read. ^^’
One, two, three,
his sweet, melodic voice makes you smile brightly—but it was a shame that you couldn’t show it
to him in person. Over the phone, your conversations always felt impersonal, but it was
all that you two had at the moment and somehow, that made the pain more tolerable.
“Baby..?” You don’t answer to his call and he gets worried. Joji wants to hear your voice, so badly. He never hears it too often; he always craved for more of you than he could reach or have. So he treasured
these moments, treasured every picture he had with you, treasured the moments
when he could call you and hear your sweet innocent voice…
just because she isn’t painted as a perfect person doesn’t mean she’s made out to be the bad guy. he blames it on himself as much as he says “i mean this part of it was you but i was pretty shitty at maintaining what we had too. jfc we were so young and everything was so dramatic. you wanted to talk but i didn’t know how to and when i wanted to make things work, you shut your door and now i don’t know where we are but i still mind you, and i think of you” even in I Wish You Would “i wish you would come back, wish i’d never hung up the phone like i did, i wish you knew that i’d never forget you as long as i live and i wish you were right here right now, it’s all good, i wish you would”. deadass listen to HS1 then listen to Style and I Wish You Would and you’ll see what i’m saying.
Prompt: A request from @nonstop-laurens but who are we kidding all my requests come from her.
Summary: Your going in blind on this one
Warnings: I don’t think they’re any.
A/N: This was gonna be long and actually have some action or whatevs but like things took a turn for the angsty
You never meant for this to happen. You never meant for your soulmate to be your enemy. To be the one that you were trying to grasp freedom from.
You were conflicted in some ways, you wanted to cross the ocean and be with him, on the other hand you wanted to stay here and cut down all his men. It didn’t help that as the sun came upon its noon pedestal on his side of the world the sun was setting.
‘My dear I don’t know what you’re thinking about, but your thinking about it much to hard.’ You smiled as you heard the king’s voice in your head. You were looking at documents for the General and never voiced your thoughts where he could hear always writing them down so you didn’t have to form them entirely in your head so he could hear.
'Well, if you were me you wouldn’t think that. These are very important papers I’m looking at.’ You thought and looked at the time. It was three in the afternoon. He was always going to bed near this time of the day. You quickly rushed out of your office and away from the papers. It was a torture, you couldn’t do anything for eight hours as he slept he talked to you, told you when you passed by mirrors how nice you looked. You had only a short time to get put of the blue and gold uniform and put on a simple dress and put your hair up.
'Why do you rush so my dear, slow down your brain is racing.’ He said and you took a breath. You dressed and walked down to the kitchen of the house. The New York H.Q. was a beautiful house and you loved walking around in it. But you had to be careful not to show any colonial soldiers.
'My dear, what are you doing in the kitchen, a lady such as yourself should not be cooking, but enjoying the more finer things in life.’ You blushed as he said this and you put your hands on the table in front of you.
'Well you live in a castle where people cook for you, I on the other hand live in my home alone.’ You thought sadly as you moved around to make dinner.
'I do so wish you lived here with me. You wouldn’t work a single day for the rest of your life.’ You sighed for the first time in a long time you looked at the word scrawled across your wrist. Power. The man who seemed so kind and gentle to you, who lived in a shiny palace, and owned half the world, was your soulmate. The man who owned slaves, and caused you to pay the highest tax, and refused to grant you your freedom. He thinks you live in England. For now that is fine, he doesn’t question anything. He doesn’t think he has too, it tears you apart to lie to him. After all he is your other half the man you’re undoubtably in love with but the things he was doing you couldn’t stand for.
A tear streamed down your face and landed on the wooden table.
'My dear what is the matter, what is wrong why are your gorgeous hands wringing together, why does a tear escape from your beautiful eye?’ He asked and you shook your head.
'I don’t know.’ You told him. You did know, it’s because you could never be together. You could never know the pure, true love that only a soulmate can give. You’d never see him smile, you’d never have children together. You’d never get to be the princess he demanded you were. You’d never get any of that. Because miles and miles across the sea just like on your wrist, a word was scrawled across his. Freedom.
Okay, um…so here’s the speech. The zombie thing is a bitch. Your world shrivels down to a dot, you know this, and…All you think about is how to get your next meal, and keeping your secret. And…No one can really…know you. Now. Kissing, touching, sex, love, yelling at someone for stealing the blankets. Um, out of the question. Forever. But then one day I see this…Beautiful woman. She’s the only thing in color. Odd ‘cause she’s so pale. And then suddenly there’s hope again. That’s all I’m saying. Who knows if we’ll even like each other. But I like everything I’ve seen so far, and, um…What have we got to lose?
[Guest post from Sophia V, who Tumblr personally here and about music right here.]
You still don’t know what I never said—
I Wish You Would opens:
It’s 2 AM in your car Windows down, you pass my street, the memories start You say it’s in the past, you drive straight ahead You’re thinking that I hate you now ‘Cause you still don’t know what I never said
Everything, everything in the rest of this song is framed by this, by this moment: you’re somehow in a car with someone you used to love and there’s too much space between you, like a gaping hole, swallowing you both up. What this first verse really does, though, is posit the chorus of the song as internal monologue, right: you don’t know what I never said / I wish— maybe it is, for the first chorus, the first round of I wish, a list of never-verbalized desperate wants. Sometimes I fall in love with people and then never tell them and it feels a little bit like this, self-contained infinities of “you should have noticed” and “I should have said something” and “please, please, please”.
I wish you would come back Wish I never hung up the phone like I did I wish you knew that I’ll never forget you as long as I live. And I wish you were right here, right now, it’s all good. I wish you would
When you hit that chorus you know it’s supposed to be a list of things never said. But it feels present, feels realized, feels verbalized in every sense of the word. And maybe it’s not said to him but it’s said to us, it exists here in the 3 and a half minute space of this song on this album and that’s what matters. There’s holding onto a relationship that’s failed but there’s also holding onto yourself in the wake of that relationship that’s failed, there’s wishing for things you’ll never get a as a means of reminding yourself that you are still a person who knows how to want, still a person.
There’s that line: I wish you were right here, right now / it’s all good / I wish you would. “It’s all good” over and over, not as forgiveness for unfulfilled desire but as an acceptance of the shape of that desire, of its place. I wish you were right here, right now, but it’s alright. I am more a person for wanting it. I don’t need you, the shape of wanting you is enough to keep me warm at night. It’s hard to want things. It’s hard to want things and say them out loud, which is what a wish is, which is what a song is. This is a list of things unsaid but it doesn’t feel like one, not here, not the way she sings it, not after the first time. The words she never said have a space made for themselves here, triumphant and present, impossible to ignore.
This song is made of weird contradictions in time: It’s 2 AM in your car and then Its 2 AM in my room and 2 AM, here we are and then I wish you were RIGHT here RIGHT now —2 AM for a day and then another day and then another day, a repetition wherein right here right now could mean any 2 AM, because really all 2 AMs are kind of the same, in the end. You are with the person you love or thinking about the person you love or wishing for the person you love.
I Wish You Would is a song about both the specificity of memory and the generality of want – the title of a song is always important, right, and this one really is just desire: I wish you would—what? It’s not important. What’s important is the wanting, the wishing. This song is the spiritual successor to I Almost Do, on her 2012 album Red, but I Almost Do lives in bitten-off sentences, things almost said and then, ultimately, not:
I just wanna tell you, it takes everything in me not to call you and I wish I could run to you and I hope you know that every time I don’t I almost do I almost do
I Wish You Would, then, is verbalization of the wispy nostalgia that permeates I Almost Do. You still don’t know what I never said but we do, the story does, Taylor does. The wishing doesn’t help—the story is very clear, and this I Wish You Would doesn’t end with Taylor getting the guy. But it’s a different song, an uptempo song, every I WISH YOU WOULD!! a cathartic crescendo of joy. There is no more nostalgia. It is, still, the wishing that matters most, the verbalization of desire and of presence. I am here, I want things from you, we did each other wrong. We’re a crooked love in a straight line down, one of my favorite lyrics off the entire album, sketching the shape of a relationship in two lines and backing it with percussive little breaths of want. Here, again, is that shape—the shape of a relationship one that is enough to remind you of your own self. You’re not supposed to use relationships as the Elmer’s glue for your disparate parts but sometimes it’s easiest to be a person in the negation of something. That person is gone and in curling around the shape they once made in your life you curl into yourself, you find the shape of your own self.
The songs ends with just I-I-I-I-I-I wish I wish I, more a series of gasps and pants than anything else, a strangely syncopated beat. They’ve underpinned the entirety of the song like percussion and here they finally are said and that’s the essence of the song: a place for things that should never have been silent, a place for them to become a banshee wail. This song never resolves. She never gets what she wants and at the end there’s just more wishing and wishing and wishing. This song is a repetition of incantations, of neediness, but there’s no omnipotent boyfriend voice to condemn that need, the plaintive ever-changing nostalgia of demand. I wish you would come back. I wish I had never hung up the phone like I did. I wish you knew that I’ll never forget you as long as I live. I wish you were right here, right now, it’s all good, I wish you would—
Taylor Swift, so often accused of playing the fairy-tale princess, writes a song about wishing and names a million wishes and isn’t granted them and isn’t denied them. There isn’t a fairy godmother but there’s also nobody saying “you shouldn’t want so much, how dare you want so much”. I wish, I wish, I wish. I wish I hadn’t done some things but I wish you hadn’t done some things, either.
Her voice is so soft on the last line and it does something to my insides. It’s been strange and swoopy on every repetition of “I wish I wish I—” in the whole song, almost helpless. It’s the end of the song and her voice is so soft and there’s sugar in it that there wasn’t before and she decides, finally, not what she’s wishing for but who from: I wish you would. I wish YOU would. Not I, not even we. She doesn’t apologize and she doesn’t get her “you” but the onus is on him and not on her. This song is an unburdening, because letting things like endless wishes fester inside of you just makes you rot. It’s a joyous unburdening though, an unburdening not tainted by any kind of guilt. It’s a happy, triumphant, uptempo little pop song and it also about the overwhelming navigation of past and desire and those are necessary caveats to one another. I Almost Do was about regret but I Wish You Would is not about regret—it’s about STAND BACK WHERE YOU STOOD / I WISH YOU WOULD I WISH YOU WOULD and also I wish you would, very soft, very gentle. Triumph and nostalgia aren’t so different, really.