I ran out of toothpaste today and I know it’s silly but I thought of you because you always reminded me to buy more and you always made things easier.
I’m just trying to take care of myself without you.
I’m just trying to breathe without you.
But it’s gotten harder since I remember the way you said ‘I love you’ and nobody holds me like you did.
And my mom says that if it’s mean to be it will be but you don’t see it the way I do and I wish I never met you so I could forget how you slept next to me so I wouldn’t need a random stranger in your spot.
What I’m trying to say is I ran out of toothpaste and it’s been months since I’ve heard your voice but I can still hear the way you said my name when I think of you.
I am FINALLY done with this. Hope you guys enjoy it, please let me know if you do, your comments are very much appreciated. Lots of love, B xx
It’s all he can see when he looks at you. It’s the color that paints your lips and it’s the only thing he’s been able to think about all night long.
When he picked you up earlier tonight, on your way to a dinner with a group of friends, his eyes had zoomed in on your lips the second you opened the car door to greet him - while you stepped inside and leaned in to say hello, placing a chaste and pert kiss on his cheek, his eyes followed your lips as you came closer.
“What color is that? Crimson? Bright red?” Is what he thinks, the shades of it swirling in his mind. He doesn’t know and he’s tempted to ask you but to do that was to show he’s been paying more attention to you than he’s got the right to and maybe it’d give you the wrong impression - he’s not interested in your lipstick but more on the way the color makes your lips look full and incredibly inviting.
Biting onto his bottom lip after greeting you quickly, his eyes fleet to his rear view mirror, spotting the patch of skin close to his jaw where you had placed your kiss - a lipstick mark remains, the shape of your lips stamped onto his skin in a bright shade of red.
The sight gave him goose bumps and he couldn’t explain why, but when you leaned forward on his front seat, the visor pulled down so you could look in the mirror and make sure your lipstick was not smudged, Harry felt his stomach sink - images of you on your knees, eyes hazy and lips swollen while you suck on his cock with greedy, swollen and red painted lips, leaving a stain on his length, invaded his mind without his permission and he feels his cock twitch in his pants, heat rising underneath his skin.
The thing you have to understand about deep sadness is – it’s a form of pain. It’s emotional pain and it is just as real and just as detrimental as physical pain, except that it’s harder to treat and it often lasts longer.
It’s one of those things that you can so easily fall into and never climb out of. It traps you, it isolates you… and people don’t understand it. They try… but they get frustrated or hurt when they don’t seem to make a difference after a while. For some reason physical pain is far more accepted by other people because there’s often evidence of it they can physically see like a wound or a scar, whereas emotional pain is looked upon as self-indulgent or just a plain old negative attitude.
I wish it was something people could see so they could understand it better… It would be so much easier if that heaviness you feel was a physical thing, like literal baggage you had to carry around with you instead of just the emotional kind… Because if it was something sizable that physically weighed you down, people could understand why it’s so hard to get out of bed in the morning.
It would be so much easier if sadness caused your face to dry out and go brittle… just so it would crack and bleed whenever you smiled. Perhaps then people would see how much it hurts when everyone else around you to laughs and smiles and you feel you have to as well so you can fit in.
Or perhaps if sadness caused your eyesight to darken and happiness was a blinding light that burnt your eyes if you suffered from it, people would understand why we so often look away or avoid happy people altogether.
But it’s one of those things nobody can see and you can never put into words for anybody else to understand but you – and that is precisely why it is so isolating. Sometimes the most helpful and understanding thing somebody can do for you is simply accept that you suffer from something they can’t understand, and not expect more than you’re capable of. I know that without physical evidence, deep sadness is difficult to understand… but acceptance is just as helpful. To know that how you’re feeling is accepted by somebody – even if they don’t understand it – takes away that constant pressure to pretend to be how you think people want you to be so you can focus your energy into healing at your own pace.
University classes are a monster you can’t prepare for until you’re in them. I have been through every up and down with schoolwork possible in the past year, so here are some tips that can hopefully help you avoid those downs:
Choosing and Registering for Your Classes
Make sure to thoroughly check both your major requirements and your gen ed requirements. Normally, you’ll have an advisor to help you make sure you’re on track, but Vandy doesn’t assign first-year engineering students one until after registration when school starts, and I didn’t have an advisor for this year’s registration either due to my major change, so I’ve spent hours and hours doing this on my own. There’s often recommended courses and example schedules in the course catalog that tell you what classes you should be taking at this point in time. Pay attention to that and you should be fine. For example, you have to have taken a first-level writing class to qualify for junior standing here. Those are the little things you have to look out for. To keep track of it all, I have a spreadsheet I use for planning my sophomore - senior years that lists all the requirements I need to meet in terms of hours and courses in order to graduate on time. I plug in possible courses and see which requirement they would fulfill and when. You can check it out here to see what I mean, it’s very helpful.
Find at least one fun elective to take if at all possible. It gets very tiring when all you have on your schedule are really difficult classes that you don’t enjoy. Try to find at least one class that you’re genuinely interested in to help get you excited for the day. Each of my last semesters, my schedule consisted of a calculus class, a lab science, a comp sci class, and Italian. Italian was the only fun one that I enjoyed going to. It really helps you out. You’re not just in college to get your degree, you’re there to discover what you really want to do, so feel free to explore your catalog and take something completely out of character just because you want to. Bonus if it fills some kind of requirement (Italian filled my Foreign Language Proficiency and one of my International Cultures reqs.).
Have multiple versions of your schedule based on which classes you may or may not get into. I don’t know about your school, but at Vanderbilt, class registration is literally like the Hunger Games. You’re assigned an enrollment date based on your year (seniors get to go first, then juniors, etc.) and at 8 am on that day, you refresh the website and either enroll in your classes or get placed on the wait list for it. If you’re a freshman, you’re basically screwed because you go last, and so you could have planned out your perfect schedule only to find they’ve all filled up the day before your enrollment period starts. To avoid having to scramble, have multiple versions of your schedule, with back ups and substitutions for every class. This way, you won’t be surprised when you go to enroll and all but one of your classes are filled, then you have to search for other classes, but at that point, all that’s left are scraps that don’t fit your requirements. Plan plan plan and practice clicking the enroll button on all your classes as fast as you can for when the clock strikes 8.
You have freedom over your schedule now; take advantage of that! No more 8-3 Monday through Friday; you can take classes whenever you want. I prefer to have all my classes on MWF in a block of a few hours and only one or no class on TR. Of course, sometimes you’re going to have to take classes at less optimal times, but do try to accommodate yourself and take classes at times you know will be good for you. Lots of people prefer to start early and finish early, while I like to start no earlier than 11, even if I don’t finish until 5. The best part of college is you can do what you want.
Don’t take 8 ams. I’m repeating this cause it’s important. I swear, you’ll regret it. In high school, I woke up every morning early as hell to catch my bus at 6:30, but in college, it was nearly impossible for me to get up for my 11 am only three times a week. Don’t ever take an 8 am by choice. And if you have no choice, good luck lol.
Don’t be afraid to drop a class. If you’re doing terribly in a class or you absolutely can’t stand it, drop the class. There’s a very little chance that if you’re failing during the first half of the semester, you’ll be able to change your grade dramatically in the second half. Maybe you decided to be an overzealous freshman and signed up for the maximum number of hours possible and now you’re drowning. Drop a class! Sometimes, a course is going to do more harm to you than good, so it’s best to get rid of it than have an F or a W on your transcript.
Use RateMyProfessor! I totally forgot about this when I originally posted this and it’s already got almost 1,000 notes but hopefully people see this. RateMyProfessor is so fucking useful. It’s IMPERATIVE that you check this website before you enroll in classes. Someone at Vandy actually made a Chrome extension for our enrollment website that automatically shows a professor’s ranking while you’re looking for classes. Obviously, take it with a grain of salt, and make sure the reviews actually make valid points about the workload and class and isn’t just someone bitter about failing. I took calc with a professor who taught at my high school just cause she taught at my high school even though her reviews said she was insanely difficult and the class was near impossible to pass. Guess what? They were right and I failed as did a big chunk of everyone else in her class. You don’t have to let RMP dictate your schedule, but definitely check it out, and if everyone says the professor is awful, don’t fucking take them.
Attending Your Classes
Establish a connection with your professor early. I recommended introducing yourself on the first day of class just so they know your name and face in another post. It’d be even better to attend an office hour or review session or something. Just make sure they know you. It’ll be easier to communicate when you need something later in the semester if it isn’t their first time seeing you.
Actually use this connection with your professors. In my experience, they can be pretty understanding and when you’re in a bad place, they’ll likely help you out. If something is preventing you from doing your best in class, go to them for help (I didn’t go to many office hours but I wish I did! Who better to explain to you something you don’t understand than the person who grades you on it?) or explain to them your situation. I had professors let me take tests late and redo assignments due to my mental health after I explained to them I wasn’t just a terrible student; if it wasn’t for this, I would’ve failed all of their classes. Maybe at the end of the semester they’ll drop one of your wonky grades or bump you up that extra half point you need. Your professors are a resource, and it’s up to you to use it.
Take notes however you want. I used my laptop in some, paper in others, and even my iPad and a stylus for calculus. In all of your classes will be a mixture of different techniques and no one cares what you do. Whatever works best for you and helps you get down the most information is what you should do. Also, you don’t have to write down everything. If your professor uses slides and posts them for you to download, you don’t really have to write down anything at all unless they add extra points, so that’s really convenient.
You don’t have to sit in the front. As long as you can see and hear, which you’ll likely be able to due to large projection screens and microphones, it literally doesn’t matter where you sit. In my experience, the professors call on people from every part of the lecture hall, so everyone gets an equal chance at participation. It’s up to yourself to make sure you can pay attention, not your seat.
Do your best to attend every single class meeting. It’s inevitable that you’re going to miss class at some point; you will get sick, you won’t have finished an assignment, you’ll need a mental health day, something will happen. Missing class can too easily become a habit if you do it often, so try to never do it. Don’t force yourself to go if you can’t handle it, obviously your health always comes first, but I mean don’t skip cause you want to sleep in or cause you just don’t feel like going. If you do have to miss class and 1) you have a good reason for it (i.e. sickness) and 2) it’s a class small enough that your professor will notice you’re not there, email them and let them know why, just so they’re aware you’re not just skipping to skip.
Try to make friends in your classes. A little study group would be even better. It’ll be really useful to have someone who can help you with a homework question you don’t understand or send you their notes when you miss a class. It can also be great to study with other people, depending on how you study best. I’ve had friends in all my classes so far and it’s been a great help, even if we just complained about the test we just failed then went to get pizza.
Tackling the Coursework
Make a REALISTIC study schedule. The key word here is realistic. During winter break I made a study schedule that started with me waking up at 8 am every morning to go work out and ended with me going to sleep promptly at 11 or midnight after spending literally the entire day studying with breaks only for meals. No breaks on weekends, no room to socialize, and I thought this would be perfectly fine for me to follow. Of course, I didn’t last a week because that was fucking ridiculous. You don’t need to schedule every hour of your day; college doesn’t work like that. Just do something simple, an hour for a class or maybe less depending on how hard it is and if you have a test coming up. Trust your instincts. There’s no need to go overboard, and you don’t need to spend six hours a day working, just dedicate a time to studying and stick with that.
Explore study techniques until you find one that works for you. Everyone doesn’t study the same, so if you do what everyone else is doing you might not get the results you want. Even if you had a great system in high school, it might not be fitting for college, so check out a bunch of different methods and see how you do with them. Once you find the best way you study, you’ll be unstoppable when exam time comes.
Start your assignments early, as soon as you can after they’re assigned. There’s nothing worse than having a bunch of assignments/tests/papers due on the same day and you haven’t finished any of them. Trust me, it is so much less stressful to complete an assignment as soon as you can after it’s been assigned so you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Putting things off has much more severe consequences than it did in high school and you will regret procrastinating. If you have a weekly assignment due every Friday, try to complete them by Wednesday every week. At the very least, start an assignment the day you get it even if you can’t finish it that day. It’s a lot easier to do something after you’ve already begun working on it, and that one thing you do is progress.
The name of the college game is prioritization. If college teaches you anything, it’s how to prioritize your duties. You need to create a hierarchy of importance for your classes and types of assignments. For me, calculus assignments were always done first because that was the most difficult class and the one I absolutely needed to pass, and Italian was always done last cause it was my easiest class and I could complete even our biggest assignments in one day. You’re going to have a very large amount of work and sometimes you have to sacrifice finishing a small homework assignment to finish a huge paper or study for an exam. I liked to complete my hardest/longest assignments right when I got back from class to get them over with and leave my easier ones for later. Prioritizing is essential if you want to succeed in university, so learn how to do it immediately!
Remember that uni is really difficult and your grades don’t define you. Something I learned the hard way is that sometimes you can try really really hard, do the best you can, and still fail. That’s just life. Sometimes you have to do something a million times before you get it right, or before you discover that it just isn’t right for you at all. I worked harder than I ever had this past year, and what I got in return was two failed classes, two D’s, academic probation, and a 2.3 GPA. Actually, my current GPA isn’t even a 2.3, it’s a 2.295, which is probably blasphemy to the studyblr community, but this shit happens. It happens to all of us and it sucks. It can be really shitty to feel like your effort wasn’t reflected in your result. What you need to do is adjust your expectations and keep working hard. After you hit your stride, your grades could be great in no time. Or you could discover that math or science or english just isn’t for you. Maybe you’ll discover university as a whole isn’t right for you, and that’s okay! Bad grades, whether you define that as a B or an F, don’t mean you’re a bad student or a bad person. You do what you can, and then let go of what you can’t control. The sooner you grasp this idea, and the sooner you learn to be gentle with yourself, the easier a time you’ll have.
So I feel like I forgot a lot of things but also this is pretty long so I’m going to end the post here. If you have any further questions or topics for a post you’d like to see, my inbox is always open. I don’t know which post is coming next, but I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for reading and I hope this helped you out!
“Well, talking about awkward huh?” Dean laughed nervously as Sam only looked at him with a hard look.
“Yeah, very.” he said through pursed lips and Dean cleared his throat, avoiding looking at him in the first place.
“Honey?” it was your voice that broke the silence that had set between the two Winchesters “Can you come help me?” you sounded a little too eager and at your question Dean’s body stiffened and he felt his heart beat harder inside his chest. Gosh, how every fiber in his body just screamed for him to find you.
But he knew he had to keep himself, much less something from showing. He cleared his throat and shook his head “Well, this is gonna be a whole lot of fun.” he huffed.
“Definitely.” Sam mumbled and Dean instantly looked at him, raising an eyebrow.
“You know I’m just joking, right?” he asked with a deep frown but Sam wouldn’t even look him in the eyes.
“Yeah, when are you not?” he stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets and prefered to look at the things that were in the house instead of pay attention to his insanely increasing jealousy.
I wish it was easier to approach strangers and make friends in public, I see girls out and about all the time that look like neat people and I just want to walk up and be like “hey, what do you think about astrology/do you enjoy crafts/what are your wine preferences” but there’s just like. No way to do that without seeming creepy? Maybe I’m just shy
You know that "who you should fight" meme? Could you do a BSD version of it, if it's not too much to ask?
(Ngl this may be the best thing I’ve ever answered)
WHO YOU SHOULD FIGHT
Atsushi: You win(?)
Walk right up to him and beat the ever-loving shit of him. He’ll apologize to you. An easy fight, just don’t slip in any tasteless orphan jokes, it’ll have the opposite effect intended and he’ll take you the fuck out with the pure intent to prove he’s worthy. You could beat him but the psychological weight of crushing someone so innocent will ensure that you never feel right again. Fight him if you have no soul.
Dazai: You lose
He’ll turn the whole affair into a big joke. If you, by some stroke of luck, actually hit him, he’ll probably just say ‘harder daddy’. The psychological effects of brawling Dazai will be devastating either way. DO. NOT. FIGHT.
Ranpo: You win
Honestly, it’s hardly worth your time. He hasn’t eaten anything but chocolate cake and cheap lollipops for the last six years, not to mention any form of physical exercise. He’s got pale-ass noodle arms and a muffin top (don’t believe the official art’s lies. The bitch eats solely from a candy shop and looks like he just topped off a cycling session with Jillian Micheals? Get the fuck out). Just don’t bring a Jolly Rancher shiv because he’ll eat the damn thing. Undoubtedly fight, just be prepared to book it like a fucking librarian after you knock him out because the rest of the ADA will come after you.
Look, fourteen’s a shitty age even when you’re not dealing with pressing morality crises.There is nothing Kyouka wants more in this world than to dial herself, let Demon Snow rip and raise her kill count to thirty seven. But all you gotta do to keep her at bay is debate on morality like Matthew fucking Murdock in Netflix’s Daredevil. If you can successfully hold her back with discussion on ethics (and how hers will be jack-shit if she slaughters you) you have a slim chance of victory. A great fight if you need to practice for speech class.
Kunikida: You lose
You might think victory’s as simple as tossing his notebook in a nearby water fountain and watching him flip a lid, but this is an absolutely awful tactic and the inside of your head will be decorating the sidewalk in mere milliseconds. He beats Dazai’s band-aid wrapped flanks on the daily and he won’t hesitate to destroy yours. If you fight, at least your cause of death can be listed as ‘blonde beefcake’s rippling biceps’.
Kenji: You win
Just feed him a few bowls of Spaghetti-o’s before you deck him and the little blonde bitch won’t stand a chance. You can smack him back into the cultist backwater rice paddies he crawled out of easy as smacking a crippled fly. A perfect fight for abusing a fourteen year old without getting into too much trouble.
Fukuzawa: You lose
You might think you could dress up in a kitty costume and sneak up to him. And you could. It would be easy, in fact. He’s so focused on the cuteness he won’t notice any maliscious intent. Despite this his reflexes are simply too quick and he’ll still take you the fuck out when you make your move. A bad fight from all angles. You’ll have to fend off his adopted, dysfunctional ADA children too. Just don’t.
Akutagawa: Depends (99.5% losing chance. risky.)
Yeah, you’re fucked. Akutagawa won’t even wait until you initiate, he’ll be the one attacking you, probably over something minor and stupid like the color of your pants is personally offensive. Rashomon will be slicing and dicing you into a smoothie for cannibals before you know what hit you. The only way you make it out alive is if by some stroke of luck Dazai happens to be in a one hundred mile radius and Akutagawa’s senpai-radar starts going off. Fight only if you bring My Chemical Romance vinyls to punt at him; they’re his biggest weakness .
Chuuya: Depends (99.75% losing chance. Cross thy fingers and pray)
Facing Chuuya is a bigger risk than that board game. He’s practically impervious to all close-up melee and he’s too small of a target to be hit with anything from afar. You might think you’d have a fighting chance if you knocked his hat off; after all, that’s basically all he is. A hat rack prone to alcoholism. But that fury will only make him stronger and he’ll crush you like you’re a cum-covered Dazai body pillow. As with Akutagawa your only glimmer of hope for survival is if bandage-kun happens to be close by because Chuuya will prioritize and leave your now crippled ass in the dust that he punted you in. Only fight while intoxicated. (Both of you. Not just him. It’s more fun that way. Much like Turkish oil wrestling but with more gravity.)
Mori: You lose
If you want to fight him you’ve obviously got a death wish and I’m not going to stop you. There’s easier ways to go though, man. Easier ways. His expression won’t even change when he whips out that scalpel (I don’t believe that man’s ever been to medical school) and filets you like a fresh caught tuna, on its way to a B-rated fast food join. Your body’s gonna get left on the pavement for the stray dogs. (No, I’m not gonna finish that joke. Low hanging fruit. I have some dignity.) If you want to die that bad, just go see if Dazai will suicide with you. It’ll be significantly less painful
Elise: I fucking dare you
I mean, you probably could take her out, she’s like seven. Mori will let her play skip rope with your small intestine after she’s recovered. Rest In Peace if you even consider it.
Kouyou: You lose
I don’t know what would inspire you to be so stupid. She’ll just let out a dignified little chuckle and shove that umbrella sword so far up your ass you’ll be tasting acid rain for months, and she’ll do it all in the most ladylike way possible. Unless you’re ready for your innards to end up in a teapot, served with chocolate-coated orange wafers at tea break, just don’t fight.
He’s fucking dead. What are you gonna do, kick his headstone, maybe plant some weeds over his grave? Just don’t mention the burnt orphan soup, or he’ll literally rise and put you in his coffin instead. If you’re willing to dabble into necromancy, knock yourself (or him, in this case) out.
I get why you’d want to fight him, I really do. He looks like a miniature Cruella Deville on an acid trip. But you just don’t have a chance. Hit him. Go ahead. As soon as you so much as brush him he has the power to destroy your shit like it’s never been destroyed before. Will annihilate you from the inside out. The deadliest emo thirteen year old there’s ever been; avoid at all costs!!!
Higuchi: You LOSE
You might think you have a chance because she doesn’t have an ability. But you’re gravely mistaken. Higuchi is bitter. Higchi is ruthless. Higuchi does not give a fuck about anything other than getting Emotagawa-senpai to notice her. She has nothing, nothing to lose and she will not rest until she’s pulling your tonsils through your asshole in the hopes that Akutagawa will give her a thumbs-up for slaughtering you. DO NOT fight. She stands to lose nothing and gain everything.
Hawthorne: You lose
You might think that you’d have a fighting chance because he’s a priest and priest’s aren’t supposed to wreck people’s shit but he will see your sins and you won’t even see him coming. Try to punch him his ability is literally activated by injuries. Knocks you out with a psalter hymnal and ships you off to Bible camp while you’re unconscious. Only fight if you have never sinned, not once, ever.
If you’re from the city he’ll destroy you. Farm boys always tear apart city people no questions asked. If that fact doesn’t dissuade you then just prepare yourself not to be freaked the fuck out when he jack-knifes his own neck and starts sprouting flora. As long as you keep your cool you’ve got a 30/70 chance. Only fight if you bring a metric fucktonne of weed killer.
Poe: You win (biggest douchecanoe award, but that’s about it)
Physically, sure, you could sneeze within fifty feet of his pasty ass and take him down. But really? Do you really want to hurt him? He’ll stare right into your soul with those sad, sad eyes and wonder just what he did to inspire such bitterness in you. If you can still fuck him up after that then you’d best kiss your spirit goodbye because it’s descending to the seventh level of fiery hell as you read this. Plus, honestly, there’s no true triumph against a man whose best bud is a raccoon. That’s just too rad. If you can deal with the pressing moral consequences and a pissed off raccoon, go for it. (You monster).
Mitchell: You win
All you have to do is push her hospital bed down the stairs and pretend it was an accident. Her comatose ass can’t do a thing to stop you. Fight if you’re ready to run from angry hospital staff.
Fitzgerald: You lose
You know, this sentient sack of Benjamins deserves it, in all honesty, but don’t try. Him and his power suit will kick you into the next millennia before you can say ‘old sport’. Prepare to be crushed by capitalism.
Melville: You win
He’s like eighty and his ability’s a goddamn floating whale. As long as you don’t throw down at Sea World, you’re good. Fight as long as you’re not in front of an assisted living facility; the CNAs will think he’s a resident and defend him.
Attack him while he’s trying to nap and he’ll be too lazy to get up. Otherwise… yeah, just google ‘Cthulhu’. You’ll get the idea. Don’t fight: there’s no beating weaponized tentacle porn.
Montgomery: You lose
Go right ahead and try, she’ll whisk you away to her Melanie-Martinez ass torture dimension and let Anne mop the floor with your teeth. It’s kind of like challenging God. Unless you want to spend eternity in an unsexy rip-off of the 50 shades Red Room, DO. NOT. ENGAGE.
Twain: You win
Twain’s all talk, anybody that walks around with their titties hanging out 24/7 is definitely trying to distract from something. In this case he’s trying to fool people into thinking he’s not a dictionary-definition pussy. Rip the heads off his muppet babies and he doesn’t even have an ability anymore, the schmuck. Fight when you’re looking for a quick self-esteem boost.
Alcott: You win
This poor woman does not deserve to be tortured anymore than she already is by the weight of her own social awkwardness, but if you really insist: make a derogatory comment and she’s basically down for the count already, no physical contact necessary. If you really want to dominate, just steal her glasses and she instantly morphs into a significantly less foxy Velma Dinkley. Also significantly less prone to self defense. An A-1 fight for when you’re looking to cement residency in Hell.
You would think his beanpole ass would be an easy target. You’d be wrong, though. So very wrong. He’s been chugging tomato juice like it’s his job for the past forever and he’s got a snazzy pair of handcuffs he’s just dying to break out. If you sabotage basic safety features on his car, though, he’s a goner. Just sneakily unbuckle his seat belt while he’s driving and you’ve basically defeated him right then and there. A good fight for practicing strategic tactics and subtle vehicle vandalism.
Fyodor: You lose
Just ask A how that one turned out. Actually, ask anyone in the manga what throwing down with Fyodor entails. (Unless you only watch the anime, then just wait for the season three that we’re probably not getting) He’ll escort you personally to the gates of hell with a flick to your forehead. Then he’ll step right over your still-warm corpse and start playing the cello with that unnecessarily wide leg-spreadage. Mess with this sentient ushanka hat and he’ll uSHANKa you.
I kinda told Lydia that I miss her and I can’t wait to get home.
Her heart soars, her chest expands, she sits up a little straighter when he hears his voice say her name.
She knows exactly what he’s talking about. It was just a few mornings ago that she woke up to find a voicemail on her phone. It didn’t surprise her; she had been getting a lot of that lately.
Hey Lydia, I’m in Virginia! We just crossed the border - not that that’s a big deal because DC is easy to get out of physically, but yeah, on my way to Quantico. Finally get to solve some actual cases.
She leaned back against her pillows, phone cradled to her ear, blinking sleep from her eyes.
And you’re probably just woken up and listening to this voicemail, so good morning! If I were there I would say you look really beautiful, because you’re always beautiful.
She couldn’t help it when she grinned and tucked her face into her pulled-up knees, hiding her bashful smile from no one. Compliments from him were plentiful, especially now that they were together, but they always caught her off guard.
I already told you I will miss you…but…I miss you. I’m still not used to going to school and not seeing you there.
“I’m gonna miss you,” he told her the day she left him at his dorm.
‘We’ll still talk,” she had replied, not yet stepping out of his embrace.
“Yeah, but it’s gonna be weird, not seeing you every day. I need to see your pretty face. And Skype doesn’t count,” he’d added quickly when she opened her mouth to respond.
Since she drove back to Beacon Hills, he’d made sure she was constantly reminded that he thought of her, that he missed her, that he wishes he were by her side. Long distance wasn’t easy, but it was easier knowing she was still wanted, needed.
Just know that I’m thinking about you, every day, every moment, and I’ll always be looking forward to the next time I see you, in person. Whether it’s in Beacon Hills or DC or at MIT…wherever we may be, I will always come back to you. Remember I love you.
There’s a soft mwah! right before the message ends, telling her he blew a kiss at (or actually kissed) his phone before hanging up. That was how he ended his calls and voice messages. Remember I love you, kiss.
(She wonders if, had he the time, he would have kissed her the first time he said those words.)
As the voicemail plays, Stiles’ voice now addressing Scott, Lydia imagines him wandering the FBI training grounds with the same wide-eyed look he had when they were touring the federal city. She pictures him perusing assignment case files, tongue poking out of his mouth, pen behind his ear, his cute determined expression on his face. He is happy on the other side of the country, out of reach from the supernatural, and she cannot take that away from him.
So as much as she is aching to be with him again, she’s going to let him stay away.
(Little does she know, he’s already finding his way back home, to Beacon Hills, and to her.)
Request: Hi I was wondering if you could do an arranged marriage scenario with jungkook from bts, where he doesn’t love reader at first but she’s always there for him and he’s always with other girls until she tries to leave and he realizes that he loves her. Sorry if that doesn’t make sense to you or if your not taking requests then never mind, ps love your writing.
You sighed as you pulled up to the club. “There’s my wife!” you hear as you turn to see Jeongguk, sadly your husband as he had his arm wrapped around a girl. “Thanks for picking us up” he coos as he moves to wrap his arms around you. You stepped away watching him nearly fall before standing straight “come on” he said grabbing the girl’s are before you stopped him “no only you” you tell him as he nodded. “Alright bye bye” he waved as he stumbled to the car.
“You’re so nice for driving out for me” Jeongguk stated as he sat in the back of the car. “Well the 23 calls times it hard to ignore your drunk ass” you tell him as he laughs lightly. “You know I don’t like being married” he continues as you sigh. “I know neither do I” you say. “I wish we could divorce life would be easier. I could have my life back” he says as you scoff “tell me about it” you shot back as you looked through the rearview to see him already passed out. Pulling into the driveway and into the garage and you simply got out of the car leaving him back there.
You smiled at your computer as you read an email from ‘J-Hope’ he was one of Jeongguk’s good buddies who felt bad for you being with someone who didn’t love you. The two of weren’t secretly dating or anything but wanted to help you out with getting away for a bit. The door to the garage opened as Jeongguk came in rubbing his neck. You didn’t even glance up from your computer and sipped your coffee. “Why was I in the back of the car?” he asked as he glared at you. “I couldn’t lift you out” you state as you sent an email back to Hoseok befor you put your laptop on sleep. “I have a horrible cramp-” “yeah yeah bitch to one of your sluts” you tell him as you head to your room to get ready for the day.
Your laptop made sound and Jeongguk felt curious as to who was emailing you at 7 in the morning. Glancing back down the hall he rushed to the computer as moved his finger against the mouse pad watching it light back up. He saw his friend’s email address clear there. ‘I’ll get you when Kook leaves this evening for the new club he heard about. He wouldn’t shut up about it. Make sure you’re packed and I’ll take you to the airport’ it read as he seemed shocked. “What?” he asked himself as he went to your browser and to your history as he saw that you had looked up a few different things ‘divorce lawyers(many) and great places to get away to’ he heard the door open as he closed the browser and put the computer on sleep before he got up and moved away.
You looked at your phone and saw that it was 9 PM already. You glanced over and saw that Jeongguk hadn’t budged from his spot on the couch. “Aren’t you leaving?” you asked as he made a sound. “Don’t feel like it” he spoke. “You not feeling up to party? You must be sick” you state as he looks up at you “maybe” he spoke as he watched your fingers type something on your phone. “Who are you talking to?” “None of your business so don’t bother” you say as you stood up leaving the living room as he sighs.
He didn’t know why he was feeling the need to have you stay but he did. Jeongguk had been craving his complete bachelor lifestyle back but at the same time he didn’t want to be alone. You came back our of your room with clear annoyance on your face before sitting back down “you know we’re having brunch with our mothers tomorrow-” “sadly” you mumble “do you want to invite them over?” he asked “no” you tell him “they would want a tour and see we sleep in different rooms. You have a pile of clothing that my parents know I wouldn’t step foot anywhere in front of your bedroom. Oh the personal favorite the collection of whore jewelry you’ve tried to pass off to me because we both know your mom would snoop through my jewelry box” you say as he sighs. “I don’t need people knowing about what I’ve been married to for the past two years" you tell him. “Yeah why did you wait two years to do something about it?” he growls annoyed.
“What?” you asked as he began panicking “how do you know about that?” you ask as he looks away “you privacy invading prick” “yeah? So what? You wouldn’t be sitting her right now if I didn’t” he almost yells. “You have no right to make me stay here. I tried to make this work for so long Jeongguk but its getting unbearable. I don’t like picking you up with your drunken one night stands. I don’t like hearing about what you did last night with her. I don’t like having to smile when I want to hide away and cry because my no good husband flirts with women right in front of me” you yelled by the end after having a normal tone but anger built itself up. “I’m done being with you” you tell him as he stood there quietly.
Jeongguk sat on the couch for who knows how long processing everything as you had angerily went to your room. He closed his eyes thinking about all the things he’s made you do for him. Before he rolled over and closed his eyes passing out on the couch.
He woke up to the harsh feeling of a hand smacking down on him before he rolled over to see you dressed up scrolling through your phone “get a shower. We have to get in 40” you state before walking away. He sighed as he got up and rushed to get ready. He looked himself over in the mirror before sighing. “I can become the perfect husband” he told himself as he left the bathroom.
Brunch went by smoothly as Jeongguk didn’t take it upon himself to flirt with the overly attractive waitress even though you could tell he was tempted. “So have you two started planning more for the future?” your mother asked as you looked up from your plate with a full mouth, you covered your mouth as you chewed before you spoke. “What do you mean?” you asked “oh come on don’t be silly about it. Have you two thought about children?” his mouth spoke as Jeonggul froze completely. “He probably has like 50 already” you mble “what was that dear?” his mouth peaked when she heard your soft talk. “Nothing nothing just speaking to myself” you said awkwardly.
“We’ve hit a large snag in the relationship” Jeongguk spoke as he was looked at by all of you as he took a sip from his drink. “What’s that dear?” his mother asked. Jeongguk looked at you as he spoke “we aren’t happy together” he told them honestly. “Not happy?” your mother asked as you looked away. “We haven’t been happy” he continues as you pushed your plate away getting up.
“I haven’t been a good man to your daughter Mrs. Y/N and I regret it more than anything because she wants to leave me now” he spoke as he took a deep breath. “I didn’t think losing her would affect me so much” he continues. “You’re an idiot” his mother spoke as he looked up. “I know” he spoke as he used his fork to play with his food.
The car ride was pretty much silent as you looked out the window the whole time. “You can leave” he said filling the silence. “I can’t make you stay and I should force you to stay in an unhappy situation” he continues as he pulls onto your street. “I’m sorry though. I am horrible man-” “please just stop” you say as he grips the steering wheel tightly but kept his mouth shut.
As soon as the car was in park he watched you get out. He just sat there and sighed resting his head onto the window. By the time he got in all the lights in the house nothing was on so he figured you had gone off to rest or something. He walked slowly to his room he heard nothing overly loud as he walked passed your door. Once he got to his room he threw himself down onto the bed staring off. Before he sat up again.
Once you woke up from a nap you could see that your door was opened, confused you sat up and looked around. Your missing jewelry box caught your eye as you got up. You headed out to the hall seeing that there was garbage bags there as Jeongguk stepped out of his room carrying another “what are you doing?” you asked as you could see into the bag of things that were in it. The clothing of his many one nighters that were left, he looked at you. “Cleaning” he spoke as he picked up your jewelry box and opening it “none of this is yours right?” he asked as you raised a brow. “Good” he said as he dumped the contents into the bag before handing the box back.
“What are you doing?” you asked again as he tied the bag. “What I should have done along time ago. Change my ways” he spoke picking up the bags and heading out of the home leaving you confused as to his sudden but much needed change.
(You are an elf working for the elven king, Thranduil. One day, you tell him how you feel about him, and you are rejected, until Thranduil mysteriously asks you to discuss something with him) (A PART TWO WILL BE COMING SOON!!!)
“I am very sorry,” you said in a clear yet faded voice, your eyes refusing to take inter image of the elven king standing in front of you. You longed for the simple contact your eyes were used to making with his, but waves of shame pulled them back to the floor beneath your feet.
“Tell me, what is it that troubles you?” Thranduil questioned, his voice low with a hint of genuine curiosity. The slight emotion in his voice caressed your worrying mind, lifting your head to face him.
As you watched his body inch closer and his long emerald robes sweep the floor, your mind flooded with memories. You had worked in Thranduil’s endlessly ornate palace for years upon years, yet what caught your attention most was the elven king himself. Working was hard when he was nearby. You failed to focus on cleaning the nearly infinite halls and chambers if his sky blue eyes watched you, and you longed for each slight conversation you shared with the king, whether it was a discussion of what had to be done that day or a quick exchange of good wishes during feasts and festivals. You wished this was easier.
Thranduil said your name in a questioning tone, pulling you out of your thoughts and back into the space you occupied in front of him.
You shuffled your feet beneath you, your brown cloth shoes making a breathy sound on the brown stone floor. “I can no longer work under you, my lord.”
You lifted your eyes enough to see the king raise an eyebrow in surprise. “And why is that?” he asked in a tone that made it seem as if it was a statement.
This was the hard part. You envisioned Thranduil smirking with pensively squinted eyes as you bid him good morning and goodnight each day, at the start and end of your work. You envisioned the way his eyes strayed to you when you were ordered to clean his throne room, directly in front of his powerful figure seated above.
A shiver ran from your feet to your head. “I have grown to love you,” you said softly, hoping in a strange way that he would not hear you.
Thranduil’s eyebrows lowered and his lips shifted into a slight grimace. He stood, silent and serious. After a moment, he shifted on his feet and looked out past the many amber-colored pillars and warm lanterns streaking the room. You watched as the elven king’s eyes fluttered shut. His snowy hair swayed across his shoulders and back with each step that brought him further away from you. You could almost feel his absence weighing down your chest.
“My deepest apologies and regrets, my lord,” you said briskly, trying to pull his gaze back to you. “I know it is completely unprofessional of me to feel such things for-”
“I do not care in the slightest,” Thranduil’s deeply resonant voice filled the room like a spreading flame. “If you are worthy of working in this kingdom, then you will not allow trivial things to stop you from providing your services.”
You felt your stomach drop to the floor as the palace was ablaze with the king’s voice. “Yes,” was all you could say before you turned on your heels, facing the other side of the room, where a hallway would soon take you away from the misery that now seemed to linger in every inch of the room. “Yes, my lord.”
You could hear the whispers the king’s robes made as he turned, but you refused to look at him again as you quickly walked away. Whether he turned towards you or his throne, you did not know.
Remembering that moment was torture. Forgetting it was impossible.
As Thranduil wished, you continued to work as you did before. You were constantly cleaning and doing all that you could to avoid the king. The smiles he once gave you were replaced with short blank glances, and the small conversations you once had with him became nothing at all.
That did not mean you stopped thinking of Thranduil. In fact, although you wished to forget him entirely, he constantly occupied nearly all of your thoughts.
You had almost achieved neglecting the thought of the king one midsummer evening, when you were indirectly asked to report to his chambers by another elf.
Brushing off dust and dirt from your clothes which you acquired with ample chores, you nervously walked down the endless twisting hallways. Filled with worry, your mind sprinted from one hypothesis of why he wanted to see you to the next. Your feet picked up their pace, trying to keep up with your racing mind.
Finally, you reached the door to his bed chambers. You lightly knocked on the wooden door, then instinctively took a step back. With a small creak, the door opened, revealing the king.
His robes bore the exact color of an autumn leaf anticipating its graceful fall from beauty and glory, yet the simplicity of his attire comforted you. Cold icy eyes greeted you.
“You summoned me, my lord?”
“Yes, I did.” Thranduil turned to open the door wider, his platinum hair swaying onto his broad back, not held back by his usual crown of twigs and thorns. He outstretched an arm, motioning for you to enter the room.
Hesitantly, you stepped inside, immediately taking in your surroundings. The walls were a mixture of dark, glossy stone and chocolate-colored wood. At one end of the room sat a desk along with some evenly-placed shelves. At the other end was a bed covered in deep red blankets. You felt heat rush to your face when you realized that these really were his private chambers.
You heard the door click behind you. You turned on your heels to see Thranduil gliding towards you, the flowing motion of his robes making him appear as if he was not walking at all.
“I wanted to discuss something with you,” he said in a tone drenched in a stoic confidence. Thranduil continued to walk towards you, until you could see each detail of his sky-tinted eyes and his worn-yet-youthful face.
You gave him a slight nod of your head, taking in how unbearably close he was.
“I assume you recall when you told me about how you felt-” he began, his voice so close you could feel it reverberating through your body, fueling your racing heart.
“Yes, and once again, I am very sorry. However, I don’t see the need to discuss-” you attempted to guard yourself, spewing out any words you could find at your grasp until he took another dangerous step forward.
“Allow me to finish.” Thranduil lowered his face, dipping it in shadow.
You opened your mouth to protest, but became unable to do so once you felt a warm hand on your shoulder. Fire shot through your upper body and bounced off in every direction. Your face felt unbelievably hot.
Seeing your reaction, Thranduil’s lips curled and his hand slid over your neck and up to your cheek. “What I wanted to tell you was…” The king spread his fingers and gently pushed a strand of hair behind your ear, fingertips grazing your scalp. He held the bottom of the strand between his fingers before releasing it, depriving you of his touch. His lips curled up further, yet his eyes continued to take you in with serious scrutiny. “I share the same feelings.”
Hi! I really, really love your maxis match retextures, but since I don't have much space in my computer for a lot of cc, I don't think it could handle the retexture as well as the mesh. Obviously you can't upload the retextures including the mesh, but is there a way that I can combine them so that only the maxis match shows up in game?
I’ll make you a little tutorial because i’ve got a few of these asks and there isn’t an up to date tut out there that I know of.
What you will need: Sims4Studio, the mesh file you wish to edit. (Sims4Studio requires a free registration but it is well worth imo.)
Place the mesh file somewhere you can easily find and open it using the My Projects button in S4S like so:
You should then see this screen. ^
You want to click the Warehouse tab, next to the Studio tab which is currently open.
In the Warehouse tab you want to select ‘Type’ so that the parts are ordered by type, this makes it easier to delete the ones you don’t want.
Select all of the CAS Parts and RLE 2 Images, apart from the RLE 2 image that contains the shadow you can see and press the Delete button on your keyboard to leave only the geometry files, shadow, DST and specular:
Press save and place the edited file in your mods folder.
This will make it so when you place the mesh in your mods folder the MM version reads the mesh and shows up and you don’t get the original textures clogging up your game. :) I tried to be thorough but if there is anything you don’t understand feel free to drop me an ask and I will elaborate! Happy CC Management! <3
DEVELOPER(S):Rozel ENGINE: RPGMaker MV GENRE: RPG, Fantasy, Adventure SUMMARY: Land, Sea, Entropy, is a story-heavy action role-playing game with elements of mystery and horror.
You live beneath the sea in a small village called Tidemoor. To the North is a labyrinth inhabited by strange monsters… and their numbers are only growing. So as one of Tidemoor’s warriors, your job is to thin the beast’s numbers and protect your town. But you get too greedy, go too far, and reach a point of no return.
You find yourself in a world far different from your own, but it isn’t all full of monsters. There are peaceful places too, areas that are completely safe and untouched by any beasts.
As you come to meet the inhabitants of this new land, and seek to return to your own, strange phenomena begins to occur and a mystery surrounding the unknown world unfolds.
Imagine: You are hopelessly in love with your friend Stefan Salvatore, which could be a good thing, if he was not still in love with his last girlfriend, Elena Gilbert. Well, that is how you see things. But remember: not everything is what it seems.
Word Count: 1631
stared at your phone once more, realising he was not going to text
you. Or even call you. If you stopped even a second to analyse the
situation, it was rather stupid to keep waiting for that to happen.
Nevertheless, Stefan Salvatore was a taken man. Well, not literally,
because he and Elena broke up almost six months ago. Yet, he still
seemed off about it, which made your heart break in ways you did not
conceive as possible.
damn it! Why did you
have to make me like you, anyway?” You huffed, standing up and
leaving the living room.
feelings began to surface after you and him went on a mission
together to find a witch who could help with the whole Originals
deal. Stefan was so sweet and caring back there. Of course, he never
actually showed you he was interested in more than a friendship.
Also, it felt deeply wrong to like your best friend’s boyfriend.
However, you could not help it. Suddenly, the younger Salvatore was
all you could see. When they broke up… It sort of enlightened your
day, even though it was a completely messed up thing to think.
turned the TV on and tried to focus your mind on the funny sitcom. It
did not work. The only thing buzzing in your head was him. And his
gorgeous smile and sweet green eyes. How he would call you up just to
talk and maybe have a drink. The way you two connected… It was kind
of rare. Only Stefan was not able to see it. Stuck in the memories of
his epic love with Elena. It frustrated you the fact they were meant
to be. It was not fair!
soft groan escaped your lips and, finally, you decided to go out.
Clear your head and, if the odds were on your favour, find a
distraction. Within ten minutes you were parking outside the Mystic
Grill, ready to eat and drink something. The vodka cranberry taste
sprinkling on your thoughts.
Matty!” You waved at the blond, watching a smile appear.
what are you doing here, Y/N?”
I think this is a bar, so… I’m pretty sure I came here to drink.”
Your voice was sarcastic and he noticed, shaking his own head. “Can
you get me my favourite?”
but don’t think this is over, miss Y/L/N.”
Donovan was your best friend since both of you were ten. Still, apart
from that, you could not find the strength to come clean about how
you felt to him. Once he heard you had gotten yourself in love with
Stefan, he would flip out. Mainly because you kept this a secret for
too long and, boy, the blond hated secrets.
Matt.” You winked, sipping on your drink.
hate to see you like that, Y/N! Pretending like there’s nothing
wrong… So typically you. I wish you would tell me what’s going on.”
can’t, Matty. It’s not that I don’t want to, I do! If only all of
this was easier.”
I want to know everything.” He rolled his eyes. “But I have
to work. My shift is almost over. Can you wait?”
guess…” You shrugged.
At least you won’t be alone while you do it.”
are you saying that?”
laughed and pointed to the door, where Stefan stood. You suppressed a
sigh and took another sip from the vodka you ordered, struggling to
maintain your heartbeat under control. Donovan patted you on the
shoulder and got back to his work, leaving you to deal with the
devils on your back.
didn’t thought I’d see you here, Y/N.”
you know… I was bored at home so I thought: what better way to
cheer me up than drinking?”
chuckled, taking a sit in front of you. His sweet eyes watching your
every move. It was times like these you wished you were able to read
minds. Not that you liked to snoop on other people’s lives, but
because your heart desperately needed to know something. Either to
give it all up or keep hoping.
You shook your head, exhaling. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.”
doesn’t seem like you are.” His hand grabbed yours and God knows
how you were able to hold a shudder. “Talk to me.”
just maybe, it was time to open yourself up. Tell him exactly what
had been going on with you and your feelings. Gosh, that would be a
harsh thing to do. You finished the drink and soon enough ordered
another one. Yeah, the opportunity was right there, in front of your
eyes. He needed to know, no matter how loud your thoughts were
screaming for you not to do it. It was the only way to shake it out
I trust you with a secret?”
course you can, Y/N.” His sounded normal, but you could catch
the hint of concern within his words. “We’re friends and I
really care about you.”
OK. There’s something I need to tell you.”
all ears.” Stefan smiled gently and stroked the back of your
hand, which was still lost between his larger ones. “Come on!”
know you are still in love with Elena and…”
up and let me finish.” He nodded, still frowning but agreeing to
hear you talk. “I don’t want to get in the middle of you two.
But I can’t help myself. Stefan, I’m in lo… I mean, I really like
are you saying?”
he dumb or anything? I was pretty clear on what I said!”,
you thought, almost rolling your eyes at his response.
on! You know what I said… I like you.”
bright white teeth shone when he smiled.
was random.” Your beloved rose his eyebrows. “Hum, I like
you too, Y/N.”
probably didn’t understand. I don’t like you as a friend, Stefan…”
mean… Really like me?”
was not what you were expecting. Suddenly, the embarrassment started
to crawl up your emotional wall. He did not felt the same way, as,
deep down, you expected him to. Now, you had lost a friend. You were
so freaking stupid.
need to go. I’m sorry.”
You simply placed a twenty dollar bill and left, meeting the bright
moon on the sky. So beautiful for such a horrible night. “Y/N,
Stefan? I know you don’t want to be with me. I don’t even know why I
didn’t even give me a chance to explain! Matter fact, to say
narrowed your eyes a bit. He did not have to say anything. You were
just his silly little friend. And that was all you would ever be.
Now, without a doubt, even your ears were red out of the unpleasant
awkward situation. “Why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut?”,
a cruel though popped up in your head.
sorry about the way I reacted.”
you don’t have to do that.”
you just let me finish?”
I’ll shut up.”
really special to me. I don’t I have ever met a girl so though and so
resilient. And there’s no way I can repay for everything you have
done to me. To keep me going.” Stefan pulled you close, wrapping
his arms around your waist. “Elena was a huge part of my life. I
won’t deny it. However, she’s gone. Living her dream with Damon. And
I’m happy for both of them. Of course it took me awhile to get over
that, but you stayed and put up with me at my worst. That’s why
I don’t need to hesitate now: I love you, miss Y/L/N. You’re truly
the one for me.”
Stefan!” The tears built up on your eyes began to stream down
your face. “I’m so happy. I-I never would have figured you felt
wish I knew you felt like this sooner.” He whispered in your
ear, kissing a sweet spot on your neck.
sighed, biting your lower lip.
I say one more thing?”
Stefan replied, softly.
love you too.” It was barely a whisper, but you knew he had
cupped your cheeks and let his thumb wipe off the teardrops which
insisted to keep falling. The younger Salvatore, then, kissed your
mouth very gently. His lips applying a tender pressure against your
own. You pulled a lock of his caramel hair, taking all the pleasure
you could get from that. It was definitely a dream coming true.
would you come back inside with me and have another drink?”
Stefan whispered against your lips, a short awhile after you two
shared such an intimate moment.
me think…” He chuckled. “Yeah, we can do that.”
glad I fit in your tight schedule, Y/N.”
be such a drama queen, honey.”
laughed, stepping in the bar once more. As you watched him go over to
get you new drinks, you realised how lucky you were to be in love
with him. The curse became the relief. That’s why a grin appeared
when you saw him coming back and leaning in for the second kiss of
finally hit you: choosing to love Stefan Salvatore was the best thing
you had ever done. That’s why you would never give up on that
to have the night of your life with me?”
already is, darling.”
smiled, joining him and being genuinely happy you were there at the
right time with the right kind of feelings.
She lets me put (soft) things on her as long as I give her head rubs. Yesterday, I took her to the vet and found out that this rescued bird, estimated to be 1-2, has cataracts and is actually much older.
Don’t worry though! They tested her vision and she sees well enough to eat, fly, and do everything a pigeon should do. We love her even more and we’ve set up easier access to food and water so she won’t go hungry. She’s only been with us for 2 months, but it’s almost relieving to think that she’s made it through many years already. I wish I could ask her what she’s seen. She’s still so trusting.
REQUEST: @beenfangirlingsince1997: “May I request an imagine where Peter Pan is really possessive over the reader and he gets jealous really easily and the reader has been badly mentally abused and is a really self conscious shy girl and is really scared of Pan because she’s seen the crueler side of Pan and she gets really fidgety around violence and make it really super angsty. Oh and Pan and the reader aren’t together yet.”
- Peter Pan x Reader
- Fandom: Once Upon A Time
- Warnings: light cussing, angst
- Length: long af
- Take Note: I’m not used to writing in the point of view of a shy, abused, timid girl because I personally am not any of those, but I tried my best! Also this is my first time writing in the “you” point of view ahhhh
You look up at the sound of your name to see Devin walking towards you.
“Want to go fishing with me?” he asks. “For dinner?”
“Uhm, sure.” You hesitantly nod. Though you weren’t very good at fishing, it would get you away from camp…away from Pan. It seemed he was always hovering over you. You had hardly any freedom, and his possessiveness over you was becoming suffocating lately. You wanted—no, needed—to get out. You saw Pan nowhere in sight, thank god. A rare and perfect chance to slip away for a little bit. Great timing, Devin.
“Great,” Devin smiles at you, and you smile back. He hands you one of the two fishing spears he’d been holding and you both head out of camp and onto one of the trails. You become more and more joyful with each step. What a great day you were about to have, away from Pan’s scorching eyes and demonic presence.
You and Devin walk side by side along a well-used path, leaving the camp farther and farther behind. You breathe in deeply, joy filling your chest as much as the air. You and Devin made small talk as you walked, until you neared the river, in which you stopped talking to listen to the sound of water rushing and splashing up ahead. Upon first sight, you halt and stare in awe at the sparkling water flowing smoothly, the sunlight reflecting off the water and making it shimmer like diamonds. It wasn’t very often you were able to come to this river.
Devin leads you to an outcrop of large, smooth gray boulders tumbling from the bank and into the river. “This is my favorite spot to fish,” he says as you carefully follow him onto the rocks, watching the water flow beneath you in amazement. Devin crouches low with his spear pointed at the water, posed and ready to strike. You copy his lead, but don’t stare into the river as intently as he does. Instead your gaze travels to the forest around you. So serene, beautiful, so peaceful. An amazing change in scenery compared to the same old camp you were in all day every day. You took it all in as much as you could, once again breathing in deeply and inhaling the wonderful earthy scents and the fresh, moist smell the river gave off. “This is nice,” you murmur.
Devin glances back at you, his lips curved in a teasing smile. “Not as nice as this juicy fish I’m about to catch,” he jokes. You laugh and he laughs, and you feel so much better than you have in a long while. You push away the thought of Pan’s anger that was sure to follow your little day out with Devin, which was very hard to do, but you refused to let it eat away at you and ruin this moment. You try your best to focus all your attention on the beauty around you instead.
“We should do this more often,” Devin comments. “You don’t leave camp much, but you seem to really enjoy being out here.”
“I know. I wish I could do this every day,” you reply, not bothering to hide the longing in your voice.
“Then why don’t you?”
“Pan.” You say bluntly. “He’ll, um, he’ll probably have my head on a spike just for being out here with you right now.”
Devin frowns, his spear lowering in lack of focus to it. “I know Pan is our leader and all, but surely you can’t let him keep you on such a tight leash like that? We have freedom, I don’t see why you can’t.”
“It’s easier said than done, confronting him.” You point out. “Pan…terrifies me. I’ve seen how cruel he can be. You have too.”
“Surely, if you just talk to Pan—”
“That’s not an option,” you interrupt, then immediately feel bad for cutting him off. But you hate how you’re talking about Pan on the one chance you get to be away from him.
“Why not?” Devin asks.
“You know Pan,” you let out a sigh.
“But you’re a girl,” Devin says. “And the only girl at that. Won’t that give you some benefits?”
Your face creases in disgust. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know, I-I just thought—”
“Devin,” you break him off again, “Have you heard about Wendy?”
“Wendy?” The mood instantly turns grimmer and he stares at you warily . “Um….why?” (photo)
“I’ve been told about Wendy before,” you tell him. “I don’t know any details, I hardly know anything about her at all, actually. Just that she was a girl who came to Neverland, and Pan…” you gulp, your heart starting to beat faster. Man, just thinking about Wendy can make you break out in a cold sweat. “…Pan kept her locked in a cage…” and he did things to her. You don’t know why but you left out that last part.
Devin’s eyes widen briefly, before he swiftly turns back to watching the river, purposely aiming his spear closer to the water. “Never heard of that before. The other boys are just trying to scare you.”
“Don’t play dumb,” you flash.
“I’m not,” he says. “If Pan kept a girl locked in a cage, wouldn’t he do the same to you? What makes you so special?”
You put your mind to work, rolling through all of the vague things the others have told you. “Well, I’ve been told that Wendy didn’t want to stay on Neverland, and that’s why Pan kept her locked up. That Wendy liked her home, her family, wanted to go back. You? Me? We came from bad situations. We were unloved, unwanted, lost…” you trail off, pushing away the awful memories of your life before you were taken to Neverland.
“I know all this,” Devin says. “We’re called the Lost Boys for a reason. But I’ve never heard about this Wendy girl in my life. It doesn’t even make sense. The only children that come here are those who are unloved, so why would Wendy come here in the first place if she was loved and wanted? It’s called logic.”
Devin was either a really good liar or he was telling the truth. You thought about confronting the boys who told you about Wendy, maybe see if you can get more out of them or get them to admit they were lying, but you were not sure you had the confidence to do it. You sure as hell didn’t have the courage to ask Pan about it.
“Okay,” you end the conversation with that, opting you’d rather cherish your precious time here than waste it arguing about Pan and this so-called Wendy, and your painfully low self-esteem.
You move away from Devin and onto a rock a few feet away, peering down at the water with your spear ready to strike. Anything to get your mind off what’s bothering you.
“You’ll never catch a fish like that.”
Your blood turns to ice in your veins. That was not Devin’s voice. Heart pounding, you turn around to see none other than Peter Pan standing on the rocks behind you, arms crossed, glaring at you in a way that was sinister.
“You were leaning too far over the edge,” he says simply, almost sounding bored yet criticizing at the same time. “The fish would’ve been able to see your shadow and never come near the rock.” (gif)
“Pan…” You gasp, standing up slowly. Dread and fear surged through you and your mind blanked in panic. Did he hear any of your conversation? If he did you were dead. That’d be the end of you.
“(Y/n) and I were just fishing,” Devin explains, sounding a little bit defensive. He moves over to your side, holding the spear over his shoulder with his hand resting on it.
“I can see that,” Pan growls, his eyes narrowing and chin lifting. “But what I don’t see is any fish. What have you been doing all this time?”
You take a step back, not liking the jealously that seemed to flow off him in waves. But as you do, you fall off the edge of the rock and into the water below. Cold waves splash over your shocked body as the water sucks you under and utter panic engulfs you. You drown and die.
Just kidding yall…okay resuming where I left off:
You’ve seen Pan when he was outraged, and it was not pretty. “I’m sorry,” you begin desperately. “Devin and I were just fishing, what else would we be doing? I’m sorry, Pan, I’m sorry.” You didn’t even have to wonder how he knew your exact location as you remembered Peter Pan knew everything that happened on his island. I’m so stupid! How could I forget? And I’m so dead…
“Stop it, (y/n),” Pan says. “Don’t you remember the first rule of being a Lost Boy? You never apologize.”
You stop yourself from saying you’re sorry again. As you grope for something else to say, Pan continues: “And do you remember the second rule?” His expression darkens menacingly. “You never disobey me.”
All the color left your face in pure fear. Oh shit. This was not good. You were in extremely deep trouble.
“What did (y/n) do to disobey you?” Devin asks boldly. You turn a pleading gaze on him; speaking out against Pan was sure too get him—you don’t want to think about it—killed.
“Oh, did I not make myself clear?” Pan growls. (gif)
He moves closer to you, the faintest of a smirk on one corner of his lips. Your breath hitches in your throat and you gulp, bringing your gaze down but without tilting your head. Pan lifts a hand up to your cheek and you almost flinch, except the movement was slow. His knuckles hover there without touching your skin. He looks over at Devin with a smug grin, slipping a strand of your hair through his fingers. As your hair falls back down, his piercing eyes land on you once more. “(Y/n)….” his breath feels warm on your nose, his voice sending tingles of fright down your spine.
Pan turns his back towards you as he steps away before spinning back around with a devilish, wide smile, his arms out as if presenting something. His voice is boisterous. “You’re mine, and mine alone.” (gif).
“I-I’m…” yours? You can’t finish the sentence. Your heart is hammering against your chest so hard you’re sure that’s why you’re trembling.
“Don’t be afraid,” Pan purrs (gif). “Be flattered.”
Later that evening, you were sitting in your tent, reliving the events of that day over and over in your head. After Pan had claimed you as his, he sent you back to camp ahead of him and Devin. You were scared for Devin, and had anxiously waited for his return. When he finally came back with Pan he seemed fine but hardly spoke a word to you. After that you’d gone into your tent and stayed there, even more afraid to see Pan again. More so of being conflicted and confused than the fear of him as a person.
You’re mine and mine alone. What did that mean exactly? Don’t be afraid, be flattered. You take a deep breath. Don’t be afraid. Most of all, that’s what circles round and round in your head. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. Did that mean he wouldn’t hurt you; do things to you that he might’ve done to Wendy?
The tent flap zips open unexpectedly, making you jump with a start. Joseph sticks his head in. “You hungry?” he asks. “Dinner’s been ready for a while now. If you don’t get your butt out here there’ll be nothing left.” Then he leaves, leaving your tent open.
Reluctantly, you crawl out and stand up, your eyes darting around nervously for any sight of Pan. He’s there, sitting by the fire in the midst of the Lost Boys. He’s holding his infamous panpipes, fiddling with them in his hands as if contemplating whether he wants to play them or not. He looks up at you (gif), as if you’d made a big announcement emerging from your tent even though he couldn’t have possibly have heard you come out. Your breath catches in your throat and you avert your gaze.
You see Devin sitting on a log, eating. He’s sitting with Marcus, Kane, and Millard, laughing and chatting. You walk over to them and as you near Devin looks up at you, forces himself to swallow, and wipes his arm over his mouth, smearing some of the dark meat juice onto his cheek. It looked eerily like blood in the dim lighting. Maybe it was. “Uh, hey, (y/n),” he says rather awkwardly.
“Um, hi. Mind if I join?” you ask.
“As a matter of fact, I do.”
You whip around at the Pan’s voice. Damn, what’s up with him doing that? He’s standing right behind you, his jaw taut. “As you can see, there’s no room on that log anyways,”
“Pan,” you stammer, fizzing with anxiety. “I, uh, I um…” you trail off as you see Pan’s body stiffen. His muscles tense, his eyes loose their irritation as they glaze over, as if he were staring at something we cannot see.
“Pirates,” he growls a few moments later, his gaze clearing. Of course: Pan had just sensed someone arriving in Neverland. He grins—a grin you know all too well. It sends shivers down your spine. “Looks like we have some guests. Lost Boys, get over here!”
At his call, everyone stops what they’re doing and gathers around you and Pan, looking at their leader expectantly. You try to inch away, not comfortable with the way all the boys are closing in around you, tightly packing you in.
“What is it, Pan?” Felix asks.
“Pirates have just arrived,” Pan explains, his eyes shining in a wicked delight. “Ready for some fun, boys?”
They hoot and holler, whilst you cower away at all their excitement for bloodshed. Even Devin joins in, his arm pumping the air in a circular motion as he whoops. You, however, stay quiet. You just can’t understand how everyone finds fighting fun. It terrifies you, in fact. Just the thought of battling ruthless, vicious, grown men with sharp swords makes your heart start to pound.
“Sharpen your knives, boys, we’ve got no time to waste!” Pan declares. “We attack at first light!”
As your campmates disperse, gathering their weapons, you hurry back towards your tent, eager to get away from all this upheaval.
“(Y/n)!” You freeze in your tracks as your name is barked, and turn around to meet Pan’s tyrannizing stare. “Will you be a lad and dip the arrows in dreamshade?”
It was an order disguised as a question. “Yes, Pan,” You obey, not daring to look him in the eye. You leave quickly, afraid to linger around him.
You climb up the handmade ladder to Pan’s tree house, where he keeps the dreamshade poison. Once up, you give the door a slight push and it slowly swings open with a prolonged creak. It’s quiet and dark inside. You walk across the bare room, scanning for the jar of the deadly, thick liquid bound to be on one of the shelves. You don’t like being inside Pan’s den; it gives off a dark feeling. Peter Pan owns the entire island, yes, and everything is his, yes, but this…this, this is his most personal space. Being inside it makes you feel the most vulnerable, if that were even possible. You’re just thankful he isn’t in here with you. You see the dreamshade, but just as you reach out for it, the door behind you shuts.
Your heart skips a beat in surprise and you turn around to see Pan standing there, his eyes focused on you with such intensity you can almost feel it.
“Pan!” you stutter. You take the jar off the shelf and grip it tightly, trying to suppress your fear. “I was just getting the dreamshade, like you asked.”
“Of course, (y/n),” Pan drawls, walking towards you.
Your breathing becomes labored. You wish you were anywhere else right now, anywhere but here.
“Do you believe it?” he says quietly.
“Believe what?” you ask timidly.
“The story about Wendy.”
You almost drop the jar in your fear and surprise. “H-how did you know?”
“I know everything,” he answers.
Did he overhear you and Devin? “I…I don’t know,” you admit.
Pan is silent, staring at you. You shift uncomfortably, your hands clammy with foreboding.
“I would never do anything like that to you,” he says finally.
You jerk your gaze to him in surprise. You can feel your pulse pounding in your temples.
His eyes are dark in the shadows. “Do you trust me?”
You inhale a shaky breath. “There’s something I see in you. It might kill me.”
Pan’s face lifts in a twisted smile, which scares the shit out of you. When you say that to someone, their response shouldn’t be a crazed smile, right? Right? “I-is it true?”
His smirk never falters. “You’ll figure that one out on your own.”
You desperately try to hide how fearful you are. You can hardly control the tremor in your voice as you say, “Do I want to find out?”
“I won’t hurt you, (y/n).” Pan murmurs. “Have I ever hurt you? Answer the question, (y/n).”
You swallow, your throat dry. “N-no.”
“I know where you come from,” he begins. “I know how unloved you were. You withered away, neglected, unwanted, unvalued, lost to everything. It was the same for all my Lost Boys. That’s why they’re here. And since being here, they’ve changed. Came out of their shells. Expressed who they really are. And do you see them? They’re happy. Wild. Free. But here you are, you’re still scared and lonely.”
You close your eyes tight, fighting back the anguish rising in your throat. Ever since you were brought here you’ve buried your past, you’ve tried to burn it to ashes, to wipe it from existence. And now Pan was bringing it all back up again. But you can’t deny that what he’s saying is true.
“You don’t have to be afraid of me,” Pan says, and of all things, he’s smiling mischievously. “I can make you forget about it all. I can make you feel things you’ve never felt before. I promise.”
You can’t believe this is happening. It feels like you can’t get enough air. “Promise is a strong word,” you remark.
“I may not be the most well-behaved boy on the island, but I always keep my promises.”
You push down the fear, forcing it away. You had no need to be scared anymore. He won’t hurt me. “I trust you.” You say it so quietly you aren’t sure he heard, but of course he did.
Pan takes the jar of poison from your hands, his piercing green stare never leaving yours. “I’ll take this off of you now.” He sets it back on the shelf, but as his hand comes back down it touches your shoulder, his finger trailing along the hem of your shirt. He arches an eyebrow, smirking. “And this too.”
Summary: readers first time with Elijah and he makes it really sweet and cares for her – smut but also really fluffy?
A/N: this is my first one shot for tumblr so I hope you like it, feel free to inbox me requests too! I write for The Originals mostly and accept fluff or smut (unless it’s super weird or unwritable). Enjoy!!
Word Count: 2272
Smiling widely at your boyfriend of five months you pulled the blanket over the two of you. Currently, you were watching your favourite movie–Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Something about it seemed ironic: maybe it was the fact that you know people who could actually do magic or that you yourself were a werewolf like Sirius Black.
“-and you read all 7 of these books?” Elijah questioned glancing to you.
Proudly nodding he couldn’t help but smile at the pride in your eyes–a true nerd at heart. Suddenly, however he began scooting closer.
“So you won’t mind if you miss some of the movie?” He grinned.
A blush came across your cheeks: maybe it was the fact that in all these months the most you’d done was a soft peck on the lips. Shaking your head you hummed happily when his lips met yours in a chaste kiss–soon becoming more passionate as he brought his hands to your hair. Pulling lightly to test the waters he earned a tiny moan from your mouth making him grin against your lips, you blushing all the while. His mouth was soft on yours, tasting of spearmint gum and honey lemon tea; a weird combination but one you were intoxicated by.
“Perhaps we should shut the movie off?” He hummed lightly.
Nodding you leaned over to shut it off, lightly brushing your body over his more than you probably needed to. However, your movements seemed to work in your favour because before you knew it you were pressed to the couch and he was hovering above you– kissable lips pressed to your neck leaving soft kisses to your jawline.