i wish that you had'

#210 Everything I Didn't Say

“Wait, don’t tell me, Heaven is a place on earth. I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn’t show you what you’re really worth.”
******
“Hey, well I’m sorry man. I know this sucks. But you’ll get over it, eventually.” A person who Dan barely even knew said through the phone.

“Yeah. Thanks.” He said, emotionless.

Dan set down the phone and sighed. That was the third person calling him today, saying they’re sorry about what happened with you.
******
“The way, you held me, I wish that I had put you first. I was wrong I admit, numb from your kiss. While you were slipping through my fingertips.”
******
You walked into the lounge, where Dan sat at the table editing.

“Hey, how’s it going?” You asked, sitting down next to him.

“Fine.” he replied flatly.

“Alright. I’ll leave you alone,” you patted his back and took your queue to exit.

That’d been your life lately. He was always so busy and you felt bad bothering him, but he needed to know that you still existed.
******
“Taking every breath away, with all of the mistakes I made. From all the letters that I saved, this is everything I didn’t say. I wish I could’ve made you stay and I’m the only one to blame.
I know that it’s a little too late, this is everything I didn’t say.”
******
Dan looked at the picture of you and him on his phone. It physically hurt him to look at it. You were both so happy there.. He wished he could say the same for now.

You were probably much happier now, in a better place. He was all alone in the world.
******
“Wake me up now, and tell me this is all just a bad dream. All the songs I wrote, all the wrongs that I hoped would erase from your memory. Flowers I should’ve bought, hours I lost, wish I could bring it back to the start.”
******
Dan sat up in bed, hair in its curled state. He never really bothered straightening it anymore- you weren’t there to pick on him about it, so why bother?

Sometimes he’d wake up and for just a minute, forget you were gone.

He’d forget all the fights, he’d forget all the tears. But he eventually started to forget the happy memories too.
******
“Taking every breath away, with all of the mistakes I made. From all the letters that I saved, this is everything I didn’t say. I wish I could’ve made you stay, and I’m the only one to blame.
I know that it’s a little too late, this is everything I didn’t say.”
******
Dan put on his nicest suit. He even straightened his hair for you. He decided today would be the first time he saw you in a long time.

The whole train ride up north, he stared out the window reliving memories with you. Like the time you nearly threw up on him on a train because someone else was throwing up.

Thinking about those was the first time he smiled since you left him.
******
“I hope you know, for you I’d sacrifice. To make this right, Someday, I’m sure
We’ll pass each other by
Until that time..”
******
Three hours later, he arrived where you were. He was almost excited to see you- but mostly just nervous.

He opened the gate with a deep breath. The dirt road was transferring onto his shoes, but he didn’t mind. He clutched the bouquet in his hands.

He arrived at your tomb. Squatting down, he set the flowers in front of the headstone. A few tears escaped his eyes as he sat all the way down.

“Sorry I haven’t been in a whole. I miss you too much.. The thought of you makes me hate myself. If I had just paid attention to you, I would’ve noticed how sick you were really getting. Sure I knew about the disease, but you tried to tell me how bad it was. And I didn’t listen. I’m..” He crumbled up some grass in his hand. “I’m sorry. I love you. You meant more to me than anything else ever has or ever will.”

Ladies .. it’s time for our first elimination. I want you all to know that I enjoyed the time I’ve spent so far with each and everyone of you. If you’re eliminated today, remember I have love for you.

Yasmin, the life saver.

Take no mess, Nyla.

The bold, Cierra.

Drama free, Summer.

and Macie, my private photographer.

Terra and Marielle. You two are in the bottom. I don’t want to create any suspense so I’ll just get straight to it..

Terra, you’ll be staying another night. I want to get to know you more, but I’m going to need you to open up with me.

Marielle, I’m sorry you’ve been eliminated. I really appreciate you coming out to spend time with me. I just wish we could have had more interactions.

Thank you for the opportunity.

Marielle is out

Yeah, it definitely sucks being the first to go… All I have to say is good luck to Troy. Finding love in this bunch is going to be hell.

fishmostly asked:

Weird question and I wish you had anon on so I could ask it without being embarrassed, but-- how do male dog reproductive systems work after the dog has been neutered? Are they still able to errrr get an erection and mount a female without getting her pregnant? Just curious why neutered dogs still hump. Anyway. Hope this wasn't too awkward a question for you.

No question too awkward!

Erections are pretty much possible as long as there is erectile tissue. Your nostrils flare because of erectile tissue in them and that’s in no way related to anything physiological about your reproductive system.

What I don’t know, and what I’m curious about, would be actual mating. Lots of dogs hump but I don’t think they actually go for penetration unless they’re intact? So if that does happen, do you get emission of fluid? The testicles are no longer connected but if you look at the parallel to humans who have had a vasectomy I’m pretty sure there’s still a seminal emission even though there’s no actual semen involved. Which leads to my overall question - do neutered dogs have the capability of locking with females, and does it happen?

We definitely need people to weigh in on this!

anonymous asked:

How do you get in the right frame of mind to write? Like I have all these ideas but no words?? You have such good words!!!!!

honestly i wish i had an answer but i don’t really know. i just kinda go on my laptop pretty much everyday and i always have a word document open and if i suddenly get inspired to write something i’ll open the document and write. i carry a notebook around with me too (dorky i know) and i just write little sentences that i think of throughout the day, because i sometimes think of stuff where i’m like OH SHIT THAT’S SMART AF and then i end up forgetting it if i don’t write it down

anonymous asked:

/s Cancer feeds of negativity. Happy people never get cancer. If you just smiled more it would go into remission. /s Really all I want is for you to be happy. I mean, I want more, but I'm being realistic. And I don't need you to carve out happiness for yourself. I just wish you had more of the moments that you enjoyed than the ones you didn't. Hope I'm making sense. Anyway, take care of yourself Quin. If you need anything say it on your blog and I'll do what I can when I can.

oh my god my foggy brain didn’t realize the /s meant sarcasm and i was gonna blow a fucking fuse holy shit. i don’t think anyone realizes how many of these i actually get that are totally serious. there are a lot. a /lot/ a lot. 

thanks friend, you take care too. 

anonymous asked:

I just read my first hentai doujins and I like it. I thought I would feel awkward but I didn't really,my first was a Kou one I stumbled across,then I read some Subaru and Shu,I wish Subaru had more,hell I want some Ayato >.< Thanks for the link!!!

you’re welcome :3

lmao don’t u hate it when ur non artistic friends look at your art and say “wow i wish i had artistic talent!!” and ur like “all you gotta do is practice, no one just has natural ability. like if you actually wanna get good at art just start drawing” and they’re like “yeah lol but that would be too hard”

kdkfjfdnsbnrbdjjdjsjdjwhrrrrrrrrjrhhrrhrgh >:///////

anonymous asked:

Still have twenty minutes before blurb night but I've got my chocolate and my cat in perfect blurb reading position with me

you have two things I wish I had omg I hope you have a great time with the blurb night!!

anonymous asked:

I just need to say thank you. Thank you for standing up for young queer people I wish as I was growing up I had someone like you. I've seen you talk about queer Draco growing up in a slynthrin house and what it meant regardless of Potter and now you talked about how 12 year do have queer crush as much as straight cis kids have theirs and it's not sexual or evil and for kids to know that or even stupid 20 years like me to reassures that yes I was normal is very important so thanks

Thank you for this message!!! It means a lot to me.
I also didn’t have anybody to stand up for me and explain things to me growing up and it messed me up really badly and because of the lack of support I ended up in terrible situations which otherwise could’ve easily been avoided, and in a terrible mental state as well, so it’s quite a personal thing to me. Happy queer headcanons, accepted childhood crushes, all that is very important to me, it’s, in some way, an attempt to reclaim my own teenhood. Invisibility and hyper sexualization of queer youth is a real, life damaging issue and there is no one to stand up for them but older queer people so we should do that every chance we get.

(Can’t tag cos mobile, Internet’s still not working, sorry guys!)

To my followers

Wow, I just, wow.  You guys are the greatest.

I’m going to be completely honest here and just wonder when I gained enough power to ask for things and they freaking happen, not once, but twice, with a possible third who probably would have.  Like, I was surprised the first time I asked for something and actually received it. 

Man, you guys are the best.  Really, I thank you all so much.  I wish I had photoshopping skills….or an iPad….or money….maybe one day I’ll figure something out. 

I do apologize, since it appears I was not the only one who thought of the idea.  only-fangirl-in-my-entire-school had the same idea a while ago.  I wasn’t even in the fandom then, so I really didn’t know. 

But beyond that, I am so grateful to you all.  To think that complete strangers like my ideas enough to spend the time to create things for me when I cannot do it myself for whatever reason….  It’s a wonderful feeling, and you guys mean so much to me. 

Shout out to satansbuttnipples, kiribunny, and sarada-yuchiha

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Ronald picking on Sebastian || Requested by: feelthisbeatz

Wind in our sails!
The future is looking bright!
For us, that is.