i wish she could live with me


I work in a decent sized, local, indie bookstore. It’s a great job 99% of the time and a lot of our customers are pretty neat people. Any who, middle of the day this little old lady comes up. She’s lovably kooky. She effuses how much she loves the store and how she wishes she could spend more time in it but her husband is waiting in the car (OH! I BETTER BUY HIM SOME CHOCOLATE!), she piles a bunch of art supplies on the counter and then stops and tells me how my bangs are beautiful and remind her of the ocean (“Wooooosh” she says, making a wave gesture with her hand)

Ok. I think to myself. Awesomely happy, weird little old ladies are my favorite kind of customer. They’re thrilled about everything and they’re comfortably bananas. I can have a good time with this one. So we chat and it’s nice.

Then this kid, who’s been up my counter a few times to gather his school textbooks, comes up in line behind her (we’re connected to a major university in the city so we have a lot of harried students pass through). She turns around to him and, out of nowhere, demands that he put his textbooks on the counter. He’s confused but she explains that she’s going to buy his textbooks.

He goes sheetrock white. He refuses and adamantly insists that she can’t do that. It’s like, $400 worth of textbooks. She, this tiny old woman, bodily takes them out of her hands, throws them on the counter and turns to me with a intense stare and tells me to put them on her bill. The kid at this point is practically in tears. He’s confused and shocked and grateful. Then she turns to him and says “you need chocolate.” She starts grabbing handfuls of chocolates and putting them in her pile.

He keeps asking her “why are you doing this?” She responds “Do you like Harry Potter?" and throws a copy of the new Cursed Child on the pile too.

Finally she’s done and I ring her up for a crazy amount of money. She pays and asks me to please give the kid a few bags for his stuff. While I’m bagging up her merchandise the kid hugs her. We’re both telling her how amazing she is and what an awesome thing she’s done. She turns to both of us and says probably one of the most profound, unscripted things I’ve ever had someone say:

"It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.”

The kid thanks her again and leaves. I tell her again how awesome she is. She’s staring out the door after him and says to me: “My son is a homeless meth addict. I don’t know what I did. I see that boy and I see the man my son could have been if someone had chosen to be kind to him at just the right time.”

I’ve bagged up all her stuff and at this point am super awkward and feel like I should say something but I don’t know what. Then she turns to me and says: I wish I could have bangs like that but my darn hair is just too curly.“ And leaves.

And that is the story of the best customer I’ve ever had. Be kind to somebody today.

I wish my mother could live her life all over again. But instead of it being filled with all of the hurt and sadness she has felt, I wish she could live the life she has given me; one filled with unending happiness and love. May God bless her always and may I make her the proudest mother in the world. I may say I live for myself but I truly live and push forward for her.

Major Discovery: BotW’s Adventure Log = Link’s Diary?!


(Spoiler Alert)

At this point, our beloved game Breath of the Wild has been out for around half a year already. If you have played the game, you are probably very familiar with the Adventure Log feature in BotW that helps you keep track of all your missions and side quests. Or else its pretty much impossible to remember if you were catching chickens for this guy or collecting weapons to show that kid who’s boss.

But here’s the thing- Have you ever thought about the Adventure Log’s origin? Who or what is helping Link keep track of his missions?

If your answer is the Sheikah Slate or the “system”, which is what I’ve always thought, I’m gonna go ahead and assume you own an European/American copy of the game. Because apparently, in the Japanese version of the game, there is evidence that shows that LINK is the one who wrote the adventure log to keep track of his own journey.

“Ok… So what?”

So Link wrote the Adventure Log. Big deal. It’s not like this is gonna change the gameplay in any way.

…True. However, Link didn’t JUST record his missions in the Adventure Log. According to the Japnese version, Link would often type up some of his own thoughts and comments on what he was doing aside from his current objectives. This could give us a deeper insight of Link’s character.

Here’s an example:

This is what shows up after you complete The Hero’s Sword quest. The content of the two versions are very similar, but notice the use of “自分” (myself) in pic 1. This is evidence that the adventure log is written by Link, who’s talking about himself in first person narrative, instead of “the system”. With that in mind, the Japanese version can be translated to:

(I) Finally retrieved the legendary Master Sword. (I) Don’t know if it’s just an illusion, but the sword itself seems to be delighted about this.

To this moment, Princess Zelda is still inside Hyrule Castle, fighting to suppress the Calamity.

She is still holding on to the faith in me, believing that I will definitely come for her…!

But with the power (that I have) now, can she really be saved (by myself)…?

You see what they did there?

The English version replaced every first person pronoun Link has used with “you”!

As someone who owns an American copy, and has never set the system language to Japanese, I was absolutely SHOCKED when I was told about this (credits at the end).

Remember how we could find diaries of NPCs all across Hyrule? Link’s was right under our noses this whole time!

Now that you know about this, does your adventure log seem a bit different from before?

(I) finished visiting all 13 of the locations in the old pictures. I remembered everything I’ve been through together with Princess Zelda.

In those memories (of mine), Princess Zelda always strived to complete the task burdened onto her…

Even if it’s just a moment sooner, (I) want to save her as quickly as possible

(I) want to see her smile again, with these eyes (of my own).

The translation on this one is just OFF. I can’t believe the English version completely omitted the last part, and replaced it with some kind of mission instruction.

Link has been fighting all this time to see Princess Zelda’s smile again with his own eyes.


Not to mention those side quest logs. Once you realize that all of the entries were written by Link himself, the seemingly trivial information recorded in those suddenly opens up so many more hidden sides of Link. It basically re-introduced Link as someone with normal human emotions instead of the silent hero depicted throughout the game.

The caring Link, who was worried about a girl he only met twice for putting herself in danger:

…(I) ventured inside and found part of the Royal Guard’s Series, famous among equipment collectors.

When those were shown to Parcy, the traveler at the stable, her curiosity about it seem to be provoked more than ever (by me). (I) Hope she won’t do anything reckless…

The compassionate Link, who felt glad for other peoples’ happiness:

As a sign of appreciation for bringing the town together and as compensation for the work done (by me), a hefty amount of gems that were unearthed during the town’s construction were given by Hudson (to me).

(I) wish the couple could live happily ever after.

The reckless Link, who apparently felt thrilled when he managed to knock out some monsters with his new companion:

(I) captured the giant horse in Taobab Grasslands

So that’s why. It’s indeed a really big horse. It trampled whatever kind of monster in its way with ease when it galloped. That was really cool.  

When it was brought back to Straia (by me), he was very surprised.

Link the foodie, who carefully noted down new recipes he learned along the way for future use: 

(I) brought Kiana the goat butter and hearty blueshell snail required for cooking seafood paella. She shared some of the dish (with me) as thanks!


The playful Link, who tried to mimic the way Gorons speak- by adding “goron” at the end of every sentence- after he passed the Test of Will and became one of the bros:


Ah… (I) kinda want to write down Kabetta’s Bro Motto, but there’s not enough space goron?

That’s too bad goron…

The empathetic Link, who felt nervous for the guy in this side quest, then relieved when the couple finally got together:

…and… THIS:

The last line on the left is the Japanese equivalent of What the heck…

I guess the statue is a bit too weird even for our great adventurer.

Finally, we have the entry that shows up after you complete the DLC trial:

(I) finally conquered the merciless Trial of the Sword.


(I believe that) Princess Zelda would be quite happy about how much I’ve improved

As we all know, Breath of the Wild is a game that focuses a lot on the freedom given to the players. Even the main story line is broken down into the form of memories, waiting for the players to find. As the players venture on into the wild, they would eventually find the information they need to learn about this world. The amazing amount of details you can find about Hyrule and its people is an important reason why BotW is so attractive.

On the contrary, the info available about our protagonist is very limited. The only piece of description that directly describes Link is in Zelda’s diary, where she points out that he is a very quiet person, and that’s it for our hero.


Link had always had the most extensive character description. Right under our noses.

Nintendo got us. They got us GOOD.

But now we know.

SIX months after the game’s launch.

…Better late than never.


P.S.: Fun fact about BotW Link- he seems to like the sand seal game a lot. Of all the entires about racing minigames, the sand seal game is the only one where Link wrote “(I’ll) try to get a better score next time!

He’s so adorable I can’t //////


Disclaimer: I did not discover this.

This discovery was made by a Chinese gamer @atomaruU about a week ago. To make sure that her theory is correct, she cross referenced the English version of the game, only to discover that the language is completely emotionless and robotic. Therefore, to allow more people to see who Link REALLY is, I was asked to write this post based on the Chinese article she published. 

Her Twitter: https://twitter.com/atomaruU

Tweet Link: https://twitter.com/atomaruU/status/902172455661211649

Chinese article Link: http://weibo.com/ttarticle/p/show?id=2309404145837893616605

Pic credits: @lulubuu0609 (She’s an amazing artist btw check out her blog)

Hope you enjoyed this :3    


Help find a home for Checkers!

Checkers, everyone’s favorite puppycat, needs a new home. See, I’m getting divorced, and I’m moving to an apartment that doesn’t allow kitties. I could never put her in a shelter, and as for Craigslist…I just don’t know, guys. But she has this huge internet fan base, so I thought I’d give it a shot.

Checkers is twelve years old and is fixed and microchipped. So if you love her as much as I do and you live in the Chicagoland area, please send me a message or reblog. I’ll personally read every message. We can do this. Help me help Chubby Checkers! Thank you!



My little sister was in tears today because she was wearing her hair naturally to school. She told me that she didn’t want to because people at her school always made fun of her or laughed at her when she did (including her friends and teacher). She said that she hates her hair and that she wishes it wasnt like how it is. I tried telling her that people would kill to have hair like hers. She didn’t believe me and said that no one wants hair like hers and that she hates it. We live in a predominately white neighborhood, so shes used to seeing white girls with flowing hair. She feels as thought their hair is prettier than hers. I know this is a bit stupid and all but, could you guys reblog this and share some positivity so that I can show her that she is loved and that her hair is beautiful and she should never be ashamed?

Bungou Stray Dogs Real-Life Locations


(Welcome to The City Where the Wind Blows, Yokohama.)

So I was finally able to go around Yokohama! I’ve been in Tokyo for a year and a half but was only able to do this now (why self why). It’s not my first time in the city though, because of the BSD event last February, but this time I got to literally walk around the city which made me fall in love with it instantly!

I did my research but due to limited time, I only got to drop by a few BSD spots. I’ll definitely come back and walk more next time!

Update: Part 2 here

(Sorry for the low quality photos but I’d just love to share them still ❤)

Motomachi Road - Episode 2

Chinatown - Episode 9

Red Brick Warehouse - Episode 9

Yokohama Port Opening Memorial Hall (The Jack) - Episode 9

Yokohama Customs Building (The Queen) - Episode 9

Yokohama Stadium - Episode 9

Yamashita Park - Episode 17

And ofc ofc in front of this blessed statue (still in Yamashita Park)

Featuring embarrassed Soukoku fangirl me lol sorry

(Side story: I was with a friend who isn’t an anime fan but happens to be familiar with this statue as she has seen it on TV dramas a few times. When I showed her the Soukoku art, she said, “Why did they meet here? It’s a dating spot!” And I was like, “Uhm, yeah, that’s exactly why” \(*^▽^*)/)

Anyway I think I know now why Chuuya loves Yokohama

Yay. I wish I could live here. I wouldn’t mind waking up to this scenery everyday. More like, I would love to!



Photos mine. For similar Japan-based original posts, you may follow me or track the #my original content tag on my blog.

You know the words that made me realise taylor is as genuine as I always thought:

“tell them how the crowds went wild, tell them how I hope they shine”:

because in that moment it could just be about her YET she’s still wishing for someone else’s happiness and success and if that isn’t just the purest thing ever then I don’t even know !!!!!!!

As requested! the mobile version of our permanent masterlist, maknae line focused.  Here you can find every single scenario we have posted to this date. It will get updated constantly as we publish new works. Thank you for all the support to Bangtan Spells, we hope you enjoy the reading! (Hyung Line Post)
































  • Starlight Pt. 1 / 2

















☆All Members Focused


V’s feelings

So, I just finished another Day 9 chatroom, and I really felt like I needed to pour my thoughts into this and create another analysis.

First and foremost, I would like to willingly admit my bias towards V, so that the rest of you can point out flaws in my argument if you feel I was using more emotion and less practicality. This is an open discussion where we can all come together to share our opinions, so please feel free to!!!

Now, as for V’s feelings. ..It seemed that today, I couldn’t stop thinking about what V had said regarding his love being obsession. Of course, I was incredibly pleased with Cheritz for adressing this and making sure the fans know that V’s idea of love is unhealthy and should not be romanticised!!!

But I, like many before me, assumed that he and Rika started out loving one another like any regular couple before everything descended into the seventh circle of hell. We had no reason to think otherwise.

However, the route seems to indicate that V was that infatuated with Rika from a very early stage, though the tendencies perhaps didn’t show up until later on.

I sat back for a moment and had to remember how to breathe as my brain started to peice together the implications.

V, someone most of the fandom has marvelled at for his unconditional love, doesn’t know how to love.

V doesn’t understand love as much as Rika doesn’t. The only people who truly loved him were his deceased mother and Jumin before the RFA.

It took a while for this to sink in, because before this, no one in the fandom knew how utterly and completely lost in the world V actually is.

We had assumed that everything was due to the common side effects of being a domestic abuse victim. And while partially true, we now know that V is much, MUCH more complicated.

V does not understand the world or himself. I have made SEVERAL previous points touching on the fact that V’s infatuation with Rika can’t possibly be regarded anywhere near what a mentally stable person should feel. The fact that he’s not OK and probably never was, even going as far as to theorise about his familial life.

Basically; V, head of RFA, does not know who is and what the hell he’s doing. He stumbles upon Rika, and immediately decides that his life is for her; that loving her wholly and devoting himself to her is the purpose of his entire existence.

Let me rephrase that, for those that do not understand just how intense this is: V literally thought that his purpose in life was to love Rika and give himself completely to her; to let her hurt and destroy him, to let her pick him apart and ruin him whenever it was she wishes.

This isn’t even because Rika implied something- he was always this way. And when the implications came up, he seemed absolutely unphased and accepting of it. That’s… That’s so fucking heartbreaking.

Rika fed into that part of V; she longed for someone to “save” her from the devil within, which even “God” could not save her from, in her words. This encouraged V’s unhealthy infatuation and solidified the idea that, yes; his purpose in life was to be her sun until she wished to extinguish him completely.

This went on going until Rika’s “devil” finally became suffocated by V’s “love”, and she had to flee. (Important to note that she left V because of this, but she did not start Mint Eye due to this. Mint Eye had already been in progression far before this! I’ll link to the post describing that soon.)

Now, V obviously regrets it. He goes into this state of depressing self contemplation and tells the MC that he regrets attempting to love anyone. He regrets allowing himself to share in the joy of love. I had never felt so heartbroken from a VN like this since Seven’s Route. ..

Anyway. MC goes on to say this;

In the first picture, we can see that V and Rika are similar in that way; both wished desperately to experience love, but it was a love that was false and ended in agony. V fell in love with the idea of love so pure and selfless like the sun, something he longed to experience himself- Rika fell in love with the idea of being loved and understood by someone. To me, at least, both fell in love with their wishes and ideals, and they lived that through one another.

And I think the MC is right when she says that their love was tragic. Remember, neither of them ever loved anyone else before, as far as we all know. And this first experience for them was DISASTROUS and damaging. V’s sense of self is even lesser than before

Here we see V wallowing in guilt and self hatred. He scolds himself for ever thinking that he could love someone properly. He scolds himself for ever thinking he deserves love.

He is a broken man- peices of a puzzle that refuse to fit with one another, photographs that tell a disconnected story and incomplete paintings riddled with tear drops.

For all the innocence of character Yoosung and Rika portray, according to Cheritz… V seems pretty innocent as well. He tries to build his way up- tries to fill a void in his soul and tries to save others because he’s too afraid of the idea of saving himself.

I believe Rika when she says that V’s love only made her worse because it “threathened [her] devil” , even though I firmly believe she fed into it continuously and that her actions (hurting V and starting Mint Eye, brainwashing vulnerable people into it) are her own and hers alone. However; I don’t believe her at all when she says that V only wants to sacrifice himself for the sake of nobility. I believe that she believes it, but I don’t agree with it myself.

Because here we see a V that’s so willing to figure out just why he was born in this world- a V who knows not who is nor why he is there, and who cares less about himself than Jaehee does about Elizabeth the Third. He truly wants to put an end to what he believes he started.

And I’m going to end this post on that note. I might make another couple of posts regarding Rika, Ray, and V in general because there’s a lot to sort through in this route. Thank you for reading and I hope you guys are enjoying this route as much as I do!


I Broke Down Tonight

So tonight something very strange happened. Something that has never happened to me before. I had a panic attack. My day was going normally and I was at work. 10 minutes before my shift, I started to feel a little bit weird. I was uncomfortable. I felt disconnected from the world around me. My hands started shaking and I started shivering and twitching. I clocked out at work and quickly went downstairs and just sat there, thinking about a ton of things all at once. Next thing I knew, I was outside on the sidewalk with two of my co workers beside me trying to calm me down. I was curled up in a ball, breathing heavily with tears running down my face. At first, I couldn’t pin point why this was happening. But then it hit me. Lately, I had been thinking a lot about some people from the start of my channel. People that used to support every video I did and would always interact with me. Flashes of these people flew into my memory. These people were people who I talked to on a regular basis and people I was getting to know fairly well. One of them in particular (who will go nameless) messaged me first because of my videos. She had said that she was very very depressed and cut herself on a regular basis, And at one point had contemplated suicide. At the time, I was making videos on a very regular basis. She said that my videos brought her so much joy and put a smile on her face. My videos were the reason that she had stopped cutting. Months went by and my videos got more and more infrequent. And then I never heard from that girl again. Then, a few months after, I found out that the amazing, strong, and wonderful girl who had sent me those messages months before, had ended her own life. This hit me harder than ever tonight. After conjuring up this memory of her in my mind, I just couldn’t pull myself together. I was crying as my dad held me in his arms asking me what was wrong. And for the first time, I was completely honest with him. I told him that I don’t want to go to college. I told him how much I absolutely adore YouTube, and I told him how incredibly terrified I am of not reaching my dreams as a yputuber. At first, he didn’t understand. He thought my dream was to get famous and be able to make a lot of money. But then I explained my real dream to him. My dream as a YouTuber is to make as many people as I can happy. I want to be there for you all every single day and bring a smile to your faces. I want to make you laugh when you feel like crying. I want to make you smile when you feel like breaking down. I want to make you happy even when you are at your lowest. The thought of that amazing girl ending her own life crushed me. I almost felt responsible for her death. I wish that I had done more. I wish that I had talked to her more. I wish that I could have made more videos for when she felt down. I don’t just want to entertain people. I want to give them hope. I want to make people smile and I want to show people that they truly matter. I don’t do YouTube because I want to get famous. I do YouTube because I want to make people’s lives better. I do it because I want to inspire people and make them feel happy on their saddest days. I do YouTube because I don’t want anyone to feel alone. I want to be there for you guys. I want to be the person you can look to when you are at your lowest and I want to help you in your time of need. I cannot even begin to examine how absolutely in love with YouTube I am. I love it more than anything. I can’t live without it and for this next year, I am going to try as hard as I can to make my dreams come true and I will not stop until it does. You all mean the world to me. I wouldn’t be the happy person I am today without you. Thank you all so much for all of your amazing support. Your comments and tweets and edits and fanarts and everything you do makes me so happy. I love you guys so much. Thank you. Let’s make this year amazing and let’s grow this community into something incredible. A community where everyone respects each other and helps each other out. A community where everyone is close and friendly. A community where no one will ever feel alone. I know we can do this. I love you all so much.

You Will Never Not Matter


I’m fucking crying my eyes out right now over how amazing perfect my goddess is in her Halloween outfit. Nana is too adorable in general for my already bursting heart and then they throw me a witch Nana????? 

 Bandai are trying to kill me with these recent Nanas and I’m all for it

Do you, too, wish running away and living in a museum for a while was still a thing you could do? (Do you, like me, wonder what the heck Chock Full o’Nuts was? And why coffee needed to be full o’Nuts?)

Smithsonian magazine just put out a lovely piece exploring E.L. Konigsburg’s children’s classic, which turns 50 this year. They talked to Konigsburg’s children, Laurie (the model for Claudia) and Paul:

“Mom took art lessons in [the city] on Saturdays, so she would drop all three of us kids off at the Metropolitan,” says Paul. “I was the oldest, so I was in charge, and I had three rules: One, we had to see the mummy. Two, we had to see the knights in armor. And three, I didn’t care what we saw. Mom would meet up with us in the museum, take us to study Impressionist or Modern art. It always made me want to puke, but we did it every weekend for over a year.”

The whole piece is here. Now, who’s for nouilles et fromage en casserole?

– Petra

memorable things from geekedfest

• cara was happy to know i bought the game after tracer was announced as a lesbian 

• in the vip meeting in the morning, there was a really lovely girl who was emotional and very nervous, and talked to cara about how inspirational tracer’s sexuality has been and how strongly it’s affected her and cara seemed really touched, and spoke to her very personally and kindly and made sure she was okay a lot 

• cara thinks the representation in overwatch is one of the best aspects of the game, and is very happy there are characters that everyone can seem to relate to 

• cara loves emily and thinks they just met by both being in london (and says its not up to her who decides this stuff but is really happy emily exists)

• chloe agrees, and says she adores the community a lot because of how positive and active we are (<3!!)

• if they had to make a new skin for their character, chloé wants an invisible widowmaker skin & cara wants tracer to be a cosplayer and too dress up as batman or something 

• chloé has tried to ask people what to do to get involved in how to start playing overwatch because she wants to play her own character, but apparently people have told her she’s going to die LMAO

• cara tried playing tracer at blizzcon in 2016 and was bad apparently 

‘i kept going in there, dying, going back in there, dying…’ and then she used the mic to say some tracer lines into the team chat and some dude replied with ‘ooooh fuck’ ahahahah 

• on what they think of each other’s characters 

cara: ‘i think she’s mighty fine.’

chloé: ‘tracer doesn’t need all of this *makes sensual french noises widow makes in game* to be a badass. (…) i like tracer a lot’ then they smiled at eachother which was cute af

• in regards to widowtracer ship, cara loves it and chloé does too. they said something along the lines of ‘if that’s what people want to ship, then go for it! we have no problem, we think it’s awesome’ which was cool. supergirl is shook. 

• if they were to choose their own team comp, chloé and cara both agreed on wanting each other in their teams (<3) along with mercy and lucio, then reinhardt for a tank. 

THEN, cara was like ‘we’re missing one’ and some guy shouted ‘HANZO’ and everyone in the crowd was like WTF NOOOO and they all laughed.

then cara said ‘oh that’s a joke isn’t it?? being a HANZO MAIN! you’re a hanzo main!’ dfkjsdfhkdjsf and then they decided the last teammate was to be hanzo because ‘there’s always got to have a hanzo’. 

• both thought the alive short was cool as fuck, cara felt like she was in a pixar movie 

• someone asked ‘if you were to be an overwatch character, what would your abilities be?’ and they both agreed on

- siamese twins, one british and one french, with a cowboy hat and hacking skills (i might have forgotten something else sorry ladz)

• they both like the character design for mercy and sombra 

• they did each other’s voice lines (’cheers love! / ‘one shot, one kill’) and they actually did really good with it LMAO

• caras favourite skins are the summer games one with the british flag & the ultraviolet one / chloé’s is the traditional widowmaker one because ‘it makes sense, because she’s purple. or blue….there’s still a debate about that’

• i told cara about hearing her ‘ha, wanker!’ line in game with the ultraviolet skin and she was amused to know it made the cut. she said that she’d told the VA people that ‘um…you know it’s a swear in english right?’ and did it anyway. she also said she recorded a ‘you tosser!’ voice line which she said to look out for! 

• crazyhead fans - no news on season 2 yet. :) also she said she was amused upon reading the script knowing she was gonna have to pee on people. ‘i thought ‘yep. this is different.’’ LOL. 

• they both love the fact the VAs hang out in america and wish europle/uk held more cons so they could hang out with each other more.

• both said they were very grateful to have overwatch in their lives and that the biggest impact it’s had on them is the community’s reaction

• ‘i will take selfies for food’ cara to me after i gave her an overwatch cupcake. then chloé was like ‘yup. selfie’

• argued with me about whether i was ginger or not DSFhdsfjkhsd (apparently im not)

• they are both sweethearts and really must be protected and loved at all costs. they were so happy to be there and so inclusive and enthusiastic about the lore and the characters as well as getting to know the fans. they were both really down to earth and kind :) 

anonymous asked:

How did you and chey meet?

Well we went to high school together. We weren’t close or anything but we knew of each other and always saw each other. I remember exactly where her locker was and I remember purposely walking down that hallway just to see her. I thought she was so fucking beautiful. She was just one of those girls in high school who was friends with absolutely everybody. There literally wasn’t one person who didn’t like her.
2 years later/ on my nieces birthday of 2017 I had planned to go to Disney (that’s in orlando) with my whole family, which was about 2 hours away. The day of , i wasn’t feeling good and almost didn’t go. Thank god I did.
On my way to Disney a couple friends from where I live texted me asking if I wanted to go out to a club in orlando. I told them yes since I’d already be there and just to pick me up on their way to the club. What’s weird though is that , if you know me you know I’m not the type to just make plans like that randomly. My family had to trust me as they left to go back home (again 2 hours away) and dropped me off at some mall where I was waiting by myself, not to mention for me it was in the middle of no where. I was seconds away from telling my friends never mind because I didn’t feel like having to deal with that situation in case something happened and they didn’t get me and I would’ve been stranded 2 hours away with no car. But something , AND I KID YOU NOT I PUT THIS ON MY LIFE, something was telling me “what if you’re suppose to meet somebody tonight, just go and have fun.” I don’t really like clubs for the most part but something was really making me feel like I needed to go.
The start of the night/ my friends pick me up and we get to the club; we’re all shit faced by that time we got there. Later on in the night I look to my left and see Cheyanne Taylor walk in. Red body suit, black shirt, laced up sandals. Not to forget, she lives where I live, but for some reason we both ended up at the same club at the same time in the middle of nowhere. I looked at her rolled my eyes , smiling , and looked away. The feeling I got when I saw her is something I wish I could put in words. I’ve always thought she was so fucking beautiful and loved the way she presented herself but never would I have guessed she would’ve said anything to me. She comes over, the night goes on, she kisses me and after that it was just set. The rest of the night it was all my attention on her, nobody else in the club. I swear to god I fell in love with her that night. I knew she was it. I’ve never gotten that feeling before, I just knewwwww it was something different. The night later ended.
The next morning/ i remember waking up SOOO upset because I just figured what happened with her last night was a one night thing (of course being single you go out meet people, get drunk, hook up, and that be the end of it) but the feeling I got when we kissed that night, was so different than anybody else I’ve just kissed being drunk. I remember telling all my friends the day after, “yep I’m going to marry her.” I literally would feel my heart stop when I saw her name on my phone but I never knew what to say and I didn’t want to mess up so I just didn’t answer and if I did it would be hours later. With that said, we hardly texted at all but the following weekend came. We met up Friday night, January 20th and since then we haven’t slept one day apart.
I’ve never felt this way about somebody.. the fact that we were both 2 hours away from where we live, the same night, the same spot in the same place… things happen for a reason. She’s my reason.

Torque (M)

Author’s Note: here we go! welcome to day 1 of chanvember!! i hope everyone enjoys <333
Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader (oc; female)
Summary: As a stunt driver, you’re used to seeing men come to the track looking for a quick, easy high. But in Chanyeol, you never expected to find your equal.
Genre: smut
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: explicit language; explicit sex; public sex; dirty talk
Word Count: 9,217

Originally posted by co-kai-ne


There’s something they don’t tell you about driving when you’re a kid, when you put posters on your wall of all the cars you wished were women; eight years old and already begging to be a man. There are things they don’t tell you about Italian sports cars, about chrome engines and black leather. 

When you learn to drive, you’re lead to believe you are the one in control, that it’s you with the power and the skill and the magic. Always, this is done in your best interest. Always, this is done to keep you safe.

Always, this is utter bullshit.

The car wants you dead.

Keep reading

Okay honestly.  Let me try to get this all out before I forget any more of it because I have already forgotten so many things.

So when I was waiting for my turn to meet Tay, Elise was chatting with me and I had said I was so nervous to meet Tay (but a good nervous, an excited nervous).  And then she asked me if I had an idea for my pose yet and I told her that I actually left my art books with Ali and inside one of them I had two watercolor paintings that I showed Taylor during my live and I really wanted to see if I could have them for our picture together.  Elisne, being the angel that she is, went to check with Ali and came back to me saying that Ali was going to look for them and someone might have to go before me (which I was like YO I WILL WAIT ALL NIGHT IF IT MEANS GETTING MY PAINTINGS FOR A PICTURE).  And then sure, enough, Ali (also being an angel) had gotten them and left them in the room with Erica.  As I was walking down the steps Erica said “the next girl made these for you” and I heard Tay say”oh, Kelsey!”  And then she turned around and I came into the room and she did THE CUTEST shimmy and was like “HHEEEEEYYYYYY KELS!” And I froze right there - almost walked right out because I was so happy with just that moment alone.

And so we chatted a little and she started off with “YOU’RE SO _____” and it was something like amazing/incredible/wonderful/IDK I AM BLANKING SO HARD ON THE WORD DANGIT.  And then we talked about how she was so happy I could make it and she was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to with teaching and being so  busy.  Then I mumbled out a few times I LOVE YOU and she said something about how funny it was to meet me on my live like that and she mentioned how she jumped in saying SHOW US MORE ART and she said she actually screenshotted me so many times saying she fell in love with me and was like YEP HER I NEED TO MEET HER.  (And I super freaked out big time because this is the lady I have looked up to my whole life since I was 14 and she wanted to meet me WOW).

And so then she asked if it was okay to take the paintings out of their sleeves and I said of course and that I thought it would be cute to hold them out to the camera in front of us AND SO WE DID. But then we got blurred out in the back so she said,”okay now let’s also just do a cute one” and WE HUGGED AND SMILED AND IT WAS UNREAL WHAATTTT.

And so then she said, “Abigail look what Kelsey made me!”  And she passed them over to Abigail and I made sure to tell her congratulations!! (Also she is the most beautiful human WOW and so sweet and WOW).  And Abigail looked at me and said thanks but then she said “WAIT YOU MADE THESE WITH YOUR OWN HANDS?!!!” AND I DIED BECAUSE WOW.

I said something about Taylor getting to keep them and Tay looked at me and said something like WAIT WHAT? And made THE CUTEST FACE like???? THESE ARE FOR ME? And I mumbled out something along the lines of well you inspired them and I want you to have them! And I told her that I also left my art books for her too so she could always have some of my art with her.

And then I started to leave and we hugged again and I like reached my hand out as I left and she reached back at me and grabbed it AND I JUST WISH I COULD REPLAY TONIGHT OVER AND OVER AND LIVE IN THAT HAPPINESS FOREVER.

Tonight was  DEFINITELY worth the wait from 14 to 25.  My heart is so happy, I love you Taylor.

13 Reasons Why (tape 4)

Characters: sister!reader, Dean, Charlie, Mary, Sam, John

Warnings: swearing, angst, betrayal

Word count: 6172 (I went a little overboard;))

Summary: Dean confronts Mary about her tape when he returns to the bunker. His trust issues continue to grow as he listens to the 4th tape.

Series: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Dean had finished tape 3 and had never been more angry. How could Mary talk to you like that? Why would she say such nasty things just to hurt you? As soon as Sam woke up in the car and saw the anger covering Dean’s face he knew that he had finished the tape. “Dean-”

“Do not.”

“Talk to mom about it, please, you’ll understand,” Sam insisted.

“Understand?” Dean shouted. “Understand what, Sammy? She said those things to Y/N, she made her feel like she had no one.”

“No,” Sam shook his head. “Dean, talk to mom, please! You know that’s not like her, you know that.”

“It doesn’t explain anything,” Dean growled. “Y/N wouldn’t lie.”

“Y/N didn’t lie, but that’s not what happened,” Sam revealed. “Please, talk to her and you will understand… I promise.”

They didn’t talk for the rest of the car journey. Sam just wanted to get back to the bunker so that Dean could hear Mary’s explanation. Dean couldn’t even imagine the excuse that his mom had come up with. It had to be a really good excuse if he was going to forgive her. It must have been so heartbreaking to hear those things coming from a woman that you saw as your mother.

Dean stormed angrily through the door and hoped that they would be home but they must have been out on another hunt. He didn’t want to wait, he was so full of rage right now that it seemed like the perfect opportunity to question her rather when he had calmed down later. So he called her.

The phone rung, and rung, and rung. There was no answer. He tried again, time and time again. Nothing. She must have been busy on a hunt and didn’t have access to her phone right now. That only made his anger grow even more.

Just as he was about to try to call her again, the doors of the bunker opened. Dean looked up and saw his mom and dad standing at the top of the stairs- it felt like he was staring at strangers. Smiles plastered their faces as they walked into the war room and started gloating about their successful hunt. Neither of them noticed the evil glare they were receiving from Dean, it was mostly at Mary.

Sam smiled back and listened to their story. He knew how pissed Dean was so he just smiled through it and tried to act as if things weren’t about to blow up.

“John was amazing!” Mary continued to say.

“Please, you saved my ass,” John replied. “If it wasn’t for your mother this hunt would never have been such a success.”

After a few moments of basking in their glory, Mary turned to Dean and noticed his look of pure rage. He hadn’t planned what he was going to say, how could he? There were too many thought running through his head. “Dean?” She asked as the whole room became silent. John and Sam watched intently.

“Mom.” He simply nodded.

Sam sighed. “Dean listened to your tape.”

Dean was too angry to do anything. His anger just froze him in place because he knew that if he let the anger take over, he would never forgive himself for what he did. “Yeah,” Dean agreed. “We need to talk. Alone.”

He gave her no time to try and speak to him where she was. Dean walked off into the library and watched Sam and his father disappear into the hallway that led to the kitchen. Mary took a seat while Dean leaned against the table with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Dean-” she said to break the silence.

“Stop,” he snapped. “I don’t even know what to say, mom. I mean, I always thought that you and Y/N had a close connection, I thought you loved her. Clearly I was wrong.”

“You weren’t wrong!“ She tried to defend herself.

“Then why is my sister dead?!” He growled. Sam and John could have probably heard him from the kitchen but that didn’t stop him from continuing to shout at Mary. “How could you say those awful things to her? That she was better off dead. That you didn’t love her like a daughter and she ruined our family. What the fuck is wrong with you, Mary?!”

“Dean,” she spoke in a calm voice as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Please, let me explain what happened.”

Dean continued to breathe heavily, his face has become red and he was pushed away from the table. He tried to calm himself and listen to what she had to say. He crossed his arms over his chest and actually listened, the anger inside still boiling.

“The day that she heard that, Sam and Y/N were on a hunt. They were hunting a witch,” she began. “That witch did something, I didn’t know what, but when Y/N came home that day she was acting strange. I never suspected it was because of the witch until I heard my tape and what Y/N thought I had said to her. The witch cast a spell on her that made Y/N hear whatever scared her the most…” Mary couldn’t hold back her years anymore. She began to sob uncontrollably. “Her worst fear was hearing me say that I didn’t love her.”

“If it was a witch then why didn’t you tell Y/N…” Dean was about to ask.

“I didn’t figure it out until I heard my tape. Until Y/N was already dead and it was too late for me to save her,” Mary added. She shook her head as she looked down at the floor. “I will never forgive myself for what happened.”

“Mom, it wasn’t your fault,” Dean concluded as he finally heard her story. “I just wish you would have figured out what was wrong with her so you could have told her what you just told me.”

“I know,” Mary nodded. “I wish I could too. I always wondered why she acted so distant from me. If I wasn’t too scared to ask her then maybe she would…” But she couldn’t finish her sentence.

Dean’s anger had washed away and turned into a darkness that he didn’t know how to get rid of. It was so painful and sad. He was sad for Mary and sad for you. She would have to live with herself knowing what you believed, and you had to believe that the whole time you were alive and that was something that would damage anyone.

Mary stood up and went to walk off but Dean stopped her to hug her. The hug was awkward, neither of them knew how to hug each other properly but it was also strangely comforting. Dean released his arms from her and let her wander off to the kitchen. He, however, had something else to do. Tape 4.

So off he went, back to his room, door closed and tapes ready. The headphones on, the tape in the player, and the play button pressed.

“Secrets. We all have them. Some more than others and some bigger than others, but we all have them. Sometimes those secrets eat away at us, but sometimes it’s better if they stay hidden… I had one of those secrets and I kept it between me and a person that I trusted. But, that secret was shared to the only people that I didn’t want to know about it.“

* * *

After what happened with Mary you just had to move on and act like you were fine. Lately that seemed to be all you were doing. Pretending to be okay. You couldn’t burden John or your brothers with your problems and least of all Mary.

You carried on acting like you were fine.

Of course, that could never last too long. Pretending you were fine until you were actually fine used to be something you were okay with, but since you knew nothing would ever change it was time for you to be out on your own. You weren’t going to tell anyone that you were leaving so you just headed off. A note was left on your bed saying, ‘don’t come looking for me’ and that was the end of things. You couldn’t be bothered with the drama of the Winchesters anymore. Before you left you were sure to turn your GPS off so that they couldn’t track you.

It was only a few hours after you were gone and Dean had already tried to call you. You had walked to a car rental place and rented an old car that none of them would have expected you to rent if they came looking for you.

You were out of town now, you ignored all of the calls and didn’t bother to check who was calling you. You were left a dozen voicemails but you only listened to one. It was from Sam.

You held the phone to your ear and listened to his voicemail.

‘Y/N, it’s me, it’s Sam.
We’re all worried about you.
Please, whatever it is, we can talk about it.
I just need to know that you’re safe.. Please call me back
I love you little sis, wherever you are, please don’t do anything stupid.’

The voicemail was hard to listen to, almost enough to make you want to go back.. That’s why you couldn’t listen to any others. They could have made you go back but you knew that was a mistake.

There was one voicemail that you saved to your phone but never actually ended up listening to. It was from Mary. You promised yourself that one day you would listen to it just to see what she said, but another part of yourself begged for you to leave well enough alone.

It was getting close to dark, the calls had stopped regularly but did come in a few times every half hour just to give it a try. They must have been looking for you too instead of calling you. You looked at the gas meter in your car and it was getting close to the empty sign. You pulled over in a gas station but realised you had no money. The guy in the gas station watched you from the window of the shop as you poured the gas into your car. You made sure it was filled as much as it could be. You didn’t want to have to steal from another gas station so soon so you had to make the most of this.

As you jumped back into your car and sped off down the road with the man from the shop trying to chase you, you realised that this is what your life would be from now on. The hunting life sucked, but it was all you knew now. Ever since what Crowley did… That was it, there was no going back to your life. This was your life now.

After driving up the highway for almost another hour, you saw a sign that said there was a motel coming up that was next to a diner. This was perfect! Apart from the fact that you had no money to check into the motel or buy any food at the diner.

You ended up driving past the motel and going into a small town. You had no idea what your plan was, probably to just sleep in your car for the night and figure something out tomorrow. That was until someone knocked on your car door and scared the shit out of you.

As you turned your head and recognised who it was, you calmed down and opened your door. “Jesus, Charlie, you scared me.”

“Sorry, I was just surprised to see you!” She exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around you.

* * *

“Seeing you that day was the start of my secret being shared. Welcome to tape 4. Welcome to your tape, Charlie.”

Charlie Bradbury. Who would have thought? Dean never would have guessed. He should have, he knew that you and Charlie had a good friendship that was thrown away by something you wouldn’t tell him. You never told anyone what she did to you, but now everyone on the tapes knew. All of them knew, and Dean would know soon enough too.

* * *

Charlie’s apartment was close to where you had parked. You hadn’t actually realised that this was where she lived, every time you had seen her was when she would come to the bunker for visits or to help out on hunts.

She insisted that you would come inside. She asked what you were doing there alone and if she should call your brothers but you quickly shot the idea down.

“A lot of stuff has been going on, Charlie,” you admitted as you stepped into her living room and placed your bag down on her couch. “There’s just so much going on that I can’t deal with, so I ran away.”

“You ran away?” She questioned. “But- the boys, they must be so worried about you!”

“I left them a note. And besides, I can take care of myself,” you replied. You took a seat on the couch but Charlie stayed standing.

“They will track you, you know,” she tried to warn you. She folded her arms over her chest as she spoke down to you.

“I turned my GPS off, they have no way of finding me. Please don’t tell them where I am, Charlie. I just… I need to be alone for a while,” you sighed. You rubbed your tired eyes as Charlie dropped her arms to her side sympathetically. “Please.”

“I won’t tell Sam and Dean where you are,” she promised with a sad smile. “On one condition. You text them and tell them that you just need some space but you’re safe, you know what they’re like, they won’t stop worrying.”

“Fine,” you nodded in agreement. “I’ll do it now.”

Even though Charlie suggested that you should text your brothers, you decided a phone call would be the best approach.

You stood from the couch and Charlie went into the kitchen to get you some food. You stood in the bathroom to talk to them just so you could have a little privacy.

You thought that hearing your voice and how calm you were would ease them and make them realise that this was best for you. They were understanding people, so why was your heart pounding so hard?

After only one ring, Dean picked up and sounded worried.

“Y/N? Where are you? Why haven’t you been answering our calls?” He demanded. You could hear Sam breathing, you must have been on speaker and they were both standing close to the phone.

“Where are dad and Mary?” You questioned calmly.

“They’re out looking for you,” Sam replied. “Please, just tell us where you are so we can come and pick you up.”

“I don’t need picking up,” you laughed lightly. “I’m ok. Really, I am. I just need to be out on my own for a while, I don’t know if that’s hunting or trying to be normal or whatever- I don’t know. I need space from the Winchesters for a while, I need to figure out who I am and if I even belong in your family.”

“You do. You belong in our family,” Dean said quickly. “You promise that you’re safe?”

“I’m safe, Dean,” you promised. “I wouldn’t put myself in danger, but I’m 18 years old and I need to try and do things on my own for a while. I hope you understand.”

“We do,” Sam agreed. “Although we don’t really want you gone, we respect your decision. Don’t be a stranger.”

“I’ll check in every now and then,” you smiled, even though they couldn’t see you though the phone. “I love you guys.”

“Love you too, silly little weirdo,” Dean said which he knew bugged you but you just laughed.

And with that you hung up the phone. That was a lot easier than you had expected, but then your brothers always were understanding towards you. You had figured it was because they had so many rules from John when they were growing up and would have loved space. Then you remembered that Sam did have space, but John wasn’t supportive of him leaving and Sam didn’t want you to hurt the same way he did.

You headed back to the couch where Charlie had brought you some food. A plate of fries that were a little warm, she must have cooked them earlier and decided not to eat them. As you began eating she started asking you a bunch of questions.

“Do you have any money? What are you planning on doing? Are you going to get a job?” She asked all in the space of you taking one bite of your fries.

“Charlie!” You shouted with a mouth still full of food. You took a moment to swallow what was in your mouth before speaking again. “Could you please stop asking me all these questions.”

“I’m sorry, I just need to know that you’re going to be okay,” she replied with a sad smile. Her heart was in the right place.

* * *

“Or so I thought it was. I was wrong, Charlie. I mean, maybe at the beginning you really did just want to help me… But I can’t forgive you for what you told my dad and Mary. What you told them- it’s the reason I ended up in, well, you know.”

And at that moment the tapes became too hard to listen to once again. Dean knew exactly what you meant, but how did Charlie do that to you? What could she possibly have told John and Mary for you to end up in that place?

It was around lunch time, Dean hadn’t eaten anything all day. He remembered that the day before there was a left over piece of pie in the fridge but he felt too anxious to eat it. He headed to the kitchen to eat, that’s all he ever seemed to leave his room for anymore. Not unless it was a hunt that Sam had found but it usually ended up being a dead end.

Back in the kitchen, surrounded by his ‘family’ once again. They all knew what Charlie had done, John and Mary knew before the tapes that Charlie shared your secret. But what could the secret have been? Dean never knew why John sent you to that place… He never gave him an explanation. All his mom and dad would ever say about you is, ‘she’s sick and she needs help.’ He walked into the kitchen where they were all sitting around the dinner table. They were all whispering before he came in but stopped as soon as he arrived in the doorway.

He walked past their glares and went to the fridge where he took out the slice of pie that was left and began eating it with a fork from the kitchen counter.

“You know,” Dean started, “I was thinking that we haven’t seen Charlie in a while… Maybe we should give her a call?”

They all froze at the mention of her name. “Uh- I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Sam replied. “I mean, I’ve tried but she hasn’t been answering my calls ever since she had the tapes.”

“Hm,” Dean nodded his head subtly. “What she did was really that bad, huh?” He took another mouthful, how was it that he was already almost finished with the pie?

“No,” Mary snapped. “But she thinks it is… That’s why she won’t speak to any of us, she thinks she’s a bad person.”

“From what Y/N’s saying it sounds like she is,” Dean hissed back. Once again, silence. All eyes on Dean. “Is Charlie the reason you sent Y/N to-“

“Dean, your sister was sick. She needed help,” John said again like he had back when you were still in that awful place.

“Don’t give me the same bullshit you gave me back when you sent her there! I asked you a damn question,” he fumed as he put the plate and fork back down on the kitchen counter. “Is Charlie the reason that you sent Y/N to Serenity Grove?”

“Y/N was troubled!” John shouted.

“So you sent her to a damn Psychiatric Institution?!” Dean roared back. John stayed seated at the table while Dean spoke. “We knew she was troubled from day one, Charlie must have told you something about her that none of us knew for you to want to have sent her there.”

John sighed and shook his head. He began to explain himself. “Serenity Grove Psychiatric Institution was a place for troubled teens and young adults. I thought sending her there would help her, and it did.”

“Help her with what? What don’t I know? What didn’t you tell Sam and me about our sister?” Dean roared. “Sam, you only found out from the tapes about why she was in Serenity Grove, why aren’t you pissed?”

“I was when I listened to the tape,” Sam nodded. “I’m with Dean on this one, you guys should have told us about Y/N. All these secrets are what destroyed our family… They’re what destroyed Y/N.”

“You don’t think we know that by now?” Mary questioned with a soft voice. Dean could tell that she was growing tired of getting angry at the situation, she just wanted to stop talking about the tapes because they hurt. “Look, we’re sorry for the secrets we kept. We can’t change that now. But this tape isn’t about us, it’s about Charlie and it’s about Y/N.”

There was no point in listening to the same bullshit they told him each time. Dean decided to go for a drive while he listened to the rest of tape 4. He left the box of the rest of the tapes on his bed.

* * *

After you and Charlie had finished eating your fries, she offered for you to spend the night at her apartment. It was the obvious choice over your car, but it seemed like if you stayed she would have called your brothers. However, she had already made a promise to not call Sam or Dean, and they respected your choice to have some space from the whole family.

In the end, you realised that you were too physically and emotionally tired to even care. You borrowed a pair of Charlie’s comfortable pjs and sat back down on the couch with her. “So,” she began. “You ran away. Why?”

You sighed with a dramatic eye roll. “Seriously, Charlie? The whole ‘protective older sister’ questions.”

“You’re like a little sister to me, Y/N. Of course the ‘protective older sister’ questions were going to come out. I promised you I wouldn’t tell them anything already, you can trust me!”

You shook your head and rubbed your eyes tiredly. “I guess things are just… Bumpy.”

“Bumpy?” She repeated. “With anyone in particular?”

Yeah, Mary basically told me that I’m not a daughter to her and that she wishes I was dead. “No, no one in particular. I just don’t feel like I fit in.”

“You know, for someone that lies professionally, you sure are a crappy liar,” she replied. “Come on, I know that you’re not okay. You can tell me, Y/N.”

You sighed. “I guess things just haven’t been all sunshine and rainbows recently. I’m suffering a lot, Mary doesn’t like me, John barely even cares that I exist. The only people that seem to really care about me are my brothers.”

“Your brothers are good people,” Charlie admitted. “Personally, I don’t think Mary and John are the best but, they’re still part of your family. They’re not the worst people in the world…”

“You don’t know the half of it,” you replied with a shake of you head. “There are some secrets that I have to keep from them.”

“Really?” Charlie questioned with raised eyebrows. “Things like what?”

“When I was living with my mom I had problems that I had to take medication for. I have these voices in my head,” you finally revealed.

“You’re schizophrenic?“ She almost shouted in shock.

“No!” You shot back. “I’ve been to the doctors with my mom before and they said it’s not schizophrenia. It’s just because, when I was a kid, my mom had some not so nice boyfriends. Their abuse caused me to create someone imaginary in my head, a bit like an imaginary friend. But this voice somehow stayed with me and started telling me bad things about myself. Sometimes it gets too loud and causes me to hurt myself.”

“Gets? As in..”

“Yeah, I can still hear it now.” You nodded. “I stopped taking my medication when I went to live with John. It’s only recently that I started hearing it again.”

“So why not take the medication still?” She asked with her arms folded. She seemed a little easy but you thought nothing of it.

“When I left my mom, I stopped going to pick up my prescription. The voice comes and goes, it’s not a big deal,” you lied. It was a bit louder than you would have liked, it happened more than you wanted it to. “I don’t hurt myself anymore because of it so it doesn’t have to be a problem.”

“Well, you get some rest, okay?” Charlie smiled as she ruffled your hair. “I’ll take the couch tonight, you can have my bed.”

Charlie was so kind to you. As soon as she suggested getting some rest, you headed off to her room and plopped down onto her bed. You didn’t remember much after that… Not until you were being woken up and dragged away while Charlie was screaming ‘I’m so sorry!’

* * *

“I was terrified. I had no idea what was going on. All I wanted to do was sleep, wake up and see my best friend, my sister, and move on with my day as an independent woman. I was ready for the next challenge in my life. Serenity Grove didn’t offer me any freedom… And you’re the reason I was sent there. You were so clever about it too, because you promised me you wouldn’t tell Sam and Dean, so instead you told John and Mary.”

* * *

“John?” Charlie questioned as someone answered on the other side of the phone.

“This is Mary, John is out right now,” Mary replied. “Is everything okay?”

“Y/N is here, she’s sleeping in my room,” Charlie revealed and heard a sigh of relief on the other end of the phone.

“She’s okay? We’ve all been so worried about her! I’m so glad she’s safe.”

“Mary, you don’t understand. There’s something wrong with Y/N… She needs help. She needs medication.”

She spent the rest of the phone call explaining exactly what you had said about the voice in your head. John had come back half way through the phone call and Mary put Charlie on speaker. Charlie kept suggesting the medication again, that’s all she ever wanted for you was the medication. She wanted you to be free like you wanted but you also needed to be safe.

Little did she know that Mary and John were going to call a psychiatric institution for teens and young adults.

A few days after you had been restrained and put in, after you had finally stopped fighting back and just sat there with tears staining your face, you were aloud visitors.

Sam and Dean visited you first. John tried to but every time he came in you attacked him and screamed, ‘you’re the reason I’m in here! Fuck you! Fuck you, John! You and your fucking wife! Get the fuck away from me!’

When Sam and Dean visited they explained that John and Mary wouldn’t tell them why you were in there. You were too embarrassed to tell them so you always avoided the question.

“Sweetheart, you know that we love you,” Dean said sadly.

You nodded your head with more tears streaming down your face. You were such a mess. You hair was unbrushed and frizzy, you had no makeup on and your skin had got really bad, your eyes were red and puffy from all the crying. You always used to love getting yourself all dressed up for every day occasions and the boys seeing you like this and knowing that you had lost everything you loved to do was heartbreaking. “Please, don’t leave me here. Take me home.”

“We wish we could,” Sam replied with a soft voice.

“The meds they give me are bad. They hurt me!” You lied. All you wanted to do was leave. “They give me headaches and they stop me from sleeping. They’re going to kill me, please! You have to get me out of here!”

Even though they hated it, the nurses said that when you got like this it was best for Sam and Dean to say goodbye and that they love you. Then they would walk out. They weren’t aloud to do anything else or you would have started getting erratic.

Once they were gone, you didn’t expect them back for another week. They always came back on a Tuesday every week.

The next day when they told you that you had a visitor, you told them that your brothers wouldn’t be here on a Wednesday. It disrupted your routine and made you on edge. When you got to the visitors room, you saw who was really here to visit you. You took a seat on the chair opposite her in the little lounge where people could come in for visits.

“Charlie,” you snarled. “What the fuck are you doing here?” You questioned calmly.

She was shaking, here eyes red just like yours (she must have been crying too). “Y/N… When I told Mary and John-”

“What were you thinking?” You questioned in betrayal. Your voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper. “You promised me.”

“I promised I wouldn’t tell Sam and Dean where you were. I didn’t promise that I wouldn’t tell Mary and John about the voices,” she replied. What she said was true, but she still shouldn’t have told them.

“I told you I didn’t want them to know, so why tell them? You knew I wanted to be free now you shove me in here?”

“I didn’t want you to be put in here. I just wanted you to take the meds again,” she stuttered. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I love you, I never wanted you to be put in here.”

“Yeah, well, I was. Good work, Charlie. Next time maybe you should listen to me when I say that I trust you and I only wanted to tell you. Not that there will be a next time, I don’t know if I can even forgive you let alone trust you ever again,” you snapped. You shook your head as more tears fell from your eyes. “I’m so tired of crying. It’s all I can really do in here.”

“I can come back for more visits if you want,” she offered.

“I don’t want you to. I want you to just leave me alone, or get my brothers to get me out. But you won’t, because that means having to tell them what you did…”

* * *

“And with that, you left Serenity Grove. You cried. I don’t know why, at least you got to leave. You weren’t stuck in that place. And you were too scared to tell Sam and Dean that you were the reason why, that’s why you never told them to get me out. It ruined me, Charlie. It just added to the pain that was already slowly killing me…“

And there, tape 4 had ended. Dean found himself outside of a place he didn’t know he was going to drive to, but he ended up here. It’s where his subconscious took him, and it was a pretty good reason too.

He climbed out of his car, walked into the apartment building and knocked on the door where he was greeted by none other than Charlie. She was shocked to say the least. Her jaw practically dropped to the floor as she saw him standing in the door way. “Can I come in?” He asked as he barged his way in anyway.

“Dean, uh… Hi,” she replied with a shaky voice as she closed the door. “How are you?”

“Oh, you know. Still torn up over Y/N’s death,” he said with arms folded over his chest. “Just getting my way through the tapes.”

“Shit,” she cursed under her breath. “Look, about Serenity Grove-”

“I’m not here for an explanation, I just want to make sure you understand why she was so upset. You betrayed her, Charlie. She trusted you and felt safe with you and you just went against her!”

“I know,” Charlie nodded vigorously. “And I can never take that back now, I am so sorry. I wish I could have fixed it.”

“You could have fixed it!” Dean shouted. Charlie flinched at the loudness of his voice. “Why didn’t you come to me and Sam about what you did? We wouldn’t have been mad, it’s the secrets that make me angry.”

Charlie took a moment to breathe. She hated herself for what she had done to you, the fact that Dean was angry just made it harder for her. “I’m so sorry. What I did, I’ll never forgive myself. I want to kill myself because of it.”

Dean’s face softened. Sure, Charlie lied and made mistakes, but not enough for her to feel like this. “I’ve already lost one sister to suicide, I can’t lose another.”

“I’m still family to you? Even after what I did?” Charlie sniffled.

“Yes. Y/N would have forgiven you too, if she were still here. But no more lies, Charlie,” he replied sternly. “I’m mad at you, but of course I still love you like a sister. You are still family no matter what.”

“I’m on the tapes,” she reminded him.

“So am I,” Dean replied quickly. Charlie didn’t know how to reply to it, so Dean continued. “I didn’t come here to shout at you. I mean, I wanted to get angry at you, and I’m glad that I did. But- I’m here for something else. I want you to forgive yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and just own up to what you did! Stop ignoring mine and Sam’s calls. It’s over, we’ve all done bad things, but unless you hurt her like Crowley did, you need to forgive yourself.”

“Will you forgive yourself?” Charlie questioned. “When you find out what you did, do you think you’ll be able to handle it? Whether it’s unintentional or not, it’s hard to forgive yourself… But I promise I’m going to do it. I’ll stay alive, I won’t make the same mistake Y/N did.”

That’s exactly what it was. A mistake. Dean never knew what to call your death when people asked. Now he did. It wasn’t the answer, you should have talked to somebody but now it was too late.

After talking to Charlie and reassuring her that it’s okay to forgive herself, Dean headed back to the bunker with tape 4. When he arrived back, he put the tape and the tape player in his back pocket and went towards the door. When he got there, he realised that it was open. The lock had been shot at.

Someone had broken in. Who? Why? Most importantly, how?

Dean pulled his gun out of his other back pocket that didn’t have the tape in it. As he came in, the war room was full of men and women in hunting gear and guns pointed towards Mary, John and Sam. Dean ran down the stairs and into the war room where all the hunters held their guns towards him. Then, in the middle of them all stood a man that none of them liked. An evil, manipulative, monster of a man.

Silently. Just looking at Dean, he stepped forward with the box of tapes in his hands.

“I’ve already filled your family in but I’ll just give you a brief summary. These tapes can not be listened to by anyone higher up than me, no one at all that I work for. And they are clever, they could end up finding these.”

“What about these people?” Dean snapped with his gun pointing towards the monstrosity of a man in front of him.

“These people all work for me. But my bosses, however, people higher up, none of them can know that I am on here or what I did to your darling sister. So I must burn them before anything more happens with them.”

“You’re not going anywhere with those tapes,” Dean replied. “Hand them over, Ketch.”

My Fake boyfriend Part 9

Summary: After receiving a very rude letter of your ex on the mail saying that he is going to get married. You see yourself not knowing what to do, you can just let it go or accept the help of your hot neighbor and pretend he is your boyfriend.

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 2146

Warnings: Just fuffly and maybe some aganst

Thank you @drinkfantasy you are the best

Originally posted by whohehellisbucky

You are in shock…

All happened in slow motion, one moment you are pushing Lucas away from you and the other Bucky is holding Lucas by his shirt lifting him in the air. Bucky punches him in the face, you can feel that Bucky didn’t use half of his strength and that he even pulled his punch back a little.

Sure Lucas would wake up in pain and with a black eye tomorrow, but Bucky could have killed Lucas with just a punch, after all he is a super soldier. Bucky drops Lucas on the floor and his expression soften when he looks at you “Are you okay?” He asks gently.

You nod and he takes your hand. You watch as Lucas gets up from the floor and all you can feel is rage because Lucas has a smirk on his fucking face. How dare him kiss you? Why did he think that he had the right to kiss you? For that moment you let the rage take over you.

Keep reading

Just watched Gaga Five Foot Two and it made such an impression on me. I knew that it was going to be personal, but wow… It was so strange to see her like this. I thought I kind of knew her, through her music and following her carreer for so many years, but seeing her actual daily life was so different. It made me sad to see that she goes through so much pain on a daily basis. But also so proud that she keeps going, ‘cause she’s doing what she loves most. Making music for her fans. 

She’s one of the world’s most famous people and you assume that that means that her life is perfect and that she is happy, ‘cause why wouldn’t she be? It was eye opening seeing a woman of her status go through her daily life, dealing with so many struggles and still marching on. 

It was inspirational, sad and funny. I feel like I’ve learned so much about her as a person and I’m so grateful that she’s willing to share this side of herself with the world. 

I hope that she’s taking all the time that she needs to heal before going back on tour. I wish that I could tell her that she isn’t dissapointing her fans and that all we want is for her to feel better. I’m even more excited to experience her live again when she’s ready for it. What a woman. I’m proud to call myself a Gaga fan and I’m excited to spend the rest of my life supporting her and her carreer, if that means that I can pay her back even a little bit of the love and comfort that she provided for me through her music throughout the years. Wow.