i wish more people liked them

the-notorious-bhg  asked:

I just wanted to give you mad props for all of the wonderful content you share on your blog. I always look forward to your posts. Thanks for all of your hard work, it's people like you that keep the fandom alive.

Thank you so much for your kind words. You’ve really put a smile on my face at the end of an otherwise shitty day.

Honestly, I feel that my contributions are way too scarce and I wish I had more time to post more fan-made content of my own. I have plenty of ideas, but very little time to make something out of them. It’s depressing (really, it affects my mood more than it probably should!). I’m like a junky on withdrawal when I can’t find the time to express my love for GW… LOL 

And, BTW, I should totally return the compliment. Every word of it! Your contribution to the fandom is enormous! Original, insightful and oftentimes humorous! I love your blog/s. Thank you for keeping my dash infused with GW goodness and plenty of Heero to go around! (I think he needs more love. As the show’s protagonist, it feels like he’s been kinda pushed aside lately… or is it just me?)

why you should not dismiss research unless you rly truly mean it

Internet, I am a queer researcher of queer health and I have something to say.

A few weeks back, a study went viral about the relationship between marriage equality policy and queer teen suicide rates, and a lot of people reacted thusly: “queer mental health is better when we’re not discriminated against! BREAKING: SKY IS BLUE, WATER IS WET”

This happens a lot. People see research about a thing ~Everyone Already Knows~ and they mock it. Now I want to make two things really clear:

1. Everyone does not already know.

2. This shit can lose these projects their funding.

Did you know that media coverage is a crucial factor in funding allocation? When we submit our application for grant renewal, we have to provide a list of news articles about our research so they can decide whether the public cares enough about us to let us keep doing our work. And most research doesn’t get all that much coverage, so individual reactions can really matter. If the primary reaction to our publications is eyerolling, we legitimately might not be able to continue.

I’ve seen some frustration from people who believe this research funding would be better put to use “actually helping” the affected populations instead of–I don’t know, pinning them under microscopes or whatever it is they think we do. But funding for policy initiatives is driven by research. I know you wish politicians would listen to individual voices telling them where the problems are, but that’s honestly not a smart way to direct limited resources. We need solid evidence. And a lot of the areas that need the most attention aren’t obvious–who knew bisexual people are at a much higher risk for physical and mental health disparities than gay and lesbian people? Who would have guessed that transgender folks are more likely than any other group (including straight people) to be military veterans, but overwhelmingly don’t claim their benefits? I’m sure some people noticed these patterns, but they definitely weren’t common knowledge within the queer communities I’ve grown up around, and those findings are leading to direct action as we speak.

I get that it can be frustrating to feel like your identity is being reduced to facts and figures for the benefit of red tape. But trust me, the researchers aren’t your enemy here. Most of us are queer too. All of us are just as frustrated by this crap as you are. We are doing our best, and I swear to you this work really is making a difference. Please don’t sabotage it.

ARIES: I heard that somebody with icicles in their chest once told you that spring was only for people that know how to be wanted but they were lying. Hardly anybody takes care of honesty the way that you do and somehow that’s still a surprise. Take the weight of your insecurities and lay them to rest underneath a gravestone. When wildflowers grow from what you buried don’t bother to pick them. They’ll always be there. Don’t you know what it’s like to come back to things? 

TAURUS: The peach pit on your dresser has been sitting there for years and it’s okay that you can’t throw it out yet. Okay that you can’t put it back into the fruit and unbite all of the soft and the sweet and the “maybe this time it’ll be different” that leaked out onto your fingers on the nights that your teeth feel too used to be desired. Wash your sheets and dry them outside. Lay underneath the clothes line and listen. Unclench your fists. Rewrite the grocery list.

GEMINI: It isn’t your fault that not everyone can swallow the parts of you that have sharp edges. You’ve been spending too much time forcing yourself down the linen aisle when you should be finding the nearest comic book store. There’s a reason superman is nicknamed “man of steel” and you deserve all of the iron-throated hearts that you can find. Invest in a metal detector. Don’t be ashamed of what you find.

CANCER: The way you bare your chest to the world is terribly brave and I don’t want you to continue feeling responsible for the people you’ve kissed that have taken advantage of that. Skin-deep damage does not make you unlovable, it gives you new perspectives. Don’t apologize for the ways you have tried to survive this. You’re better than the fires you’ve walked through and the storms you’ve caused. Suck on a peppermint until it loses its flavor. Name the taste after your last heartbreak. Now spit it out.

LEO: Your chest caves in whenever you think about the past and nobody’s ever told you that everything is temporary. Well, honey, I have some news for you. Start checking the mailbox again before the neighbors start to worry. People still want to stain paper with your name and martyring yourself over words is something you’ve become too talented at. Take a break, now and again. Burn the television set if that’s what it takes. Air out the smoke and look into a mirror, admire how powerful you seem as you step out of the haze of what’s gone.

VIRGO: Oh, baby, you’ve made mistakes and you’ve drained the bottles but you’re not the only one who’s felt like this. I know that it’s hard to let yourself feel these things but you have to try, you have to let the light in. It’s so dark in the room you’ve been using to store your regrets and your pallor has become a reflection of the ghosts you’ve been taking orders from. You were made for the sun. Let it kiss you without repercussion. Allow yourself to kiss it back.

LIBRA: So maybe you dropped too many pennies down the wishing well and now your wallet is nothing more than negative space. So maybe you forgot who gave you that good advice that one time and you’re still beating yourself up over it. Go ahead, admit to your faults. Set a place for them at the table and scold them for being late. Eat their portion and kick them out. Being familiar with every side to your geometric personality is not something to be ashamed of. Remember the angles, and keep moving. People like you are not meant to stand still.

SCORPIO: I think that your ears were made for listening to things that break. The shattering of a vase. The cracking of a heart. Does it ever get exhausting to be so awfully aware of how things sound when they forget to function? Nobody expects you to take every smashed hope and piece it together on your own. You are not a bottle of glue no matter how much you feel disaster sticks to you. I promise. You don’t have to carry that toolbox around, anymore. It looks heavy. Set it down.

SAGITTARIUS: You have your father’s mouth and consequently have dreams where you’re ripping it from your face. Somebody told you once that you were inadequate and now there’s a bruise on your ego and you can’t seem to stop touching it. Why are you so obsessed with how long it takes to heal? Why are you so afraid of letting people see you cry? Take off your armor and let your skin breathe. There’s still time to be okay with the idea of loss. You’re not too late. You’re not too late.

CAPRICORN: Stop using the word pathetic whenever anybody asks you to describe yourself. The people that hold you accountable for the abuse you’ve endured are the ones that turn away whenever they see it. You don’t need them, you never did. Can you feel that prickling sensation running up your arms? It’s tomorrow knocking and it wants to show you something beautiful. Let it. You’ve handled tragedy, surely you can handle tenderness.

AQUARIUS: You’ve been fucked over so many times it’s hard not to see yourself as a hotel room on the outskirts of town. Dark red bedsheets and rusty doorknobs and a lampshade that hasn’t been touched in a decade or two, this is where you lie and try to erase the memories from your naked body. You don’t want to belong to anybody almost as much as you don’t want people to believe they’ve changed you. They haven’t, you know that right? No matter how many people hike up mount everest it’s still a mountain. It’s still bigger than what’s stepping on it. It still keeps its name.

PISCES: You’ve become so good at sacrificing yourself for the possibility of something worthwhile that your body looks more like an altar than an assortment of bones. If this is your church I hope that your god looks like your nine year old face whenever somebody asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. I hope your prayer sounds like an exhale and that your choir sings in harmony and that every donation tastes like honey. Don’t forget to bow your head every once in a while. Remind yourself of your feet. Of how fast you’re able to run.

—  APRIL HOROSCOPES, 2/30, Caitlin Conlon
I feel nothing and everything at the same time. My mood swings become worse each day. I miss a lot of people but at the same time, I’m relieved they don’t want to meet me. Although it hurts which is contradictory. I wish I could touch the people I like and love more often. Hug them, stroke them, kiss them, hold hands with them, cuddle with them. My heart hurts from all this lack of love and at the same time overflow of love. My whole being is one fucking paradox.
—  dewdropheart 

less than helpful advice-

aries: “have some patience!” - why should they? aries live many lives in one, they are working off their time, not yours. if you want ‘patience’ go be a nurse at a hospital

taurus: “just try to forget it and move on” - taureans have, as my parents would say, ‘memories like elephants’. they can’t just forget and move on

gemini: “just be yourself!” - yah, but what self? the one i am right now or the one i was 10 minutes ago? what self am i??

cancer: “you’ll feel better if you come out” - no. they won’t. because they are feeling down they will soak up more negative feelings from other people and spend the whole time wishing they were at home in bed.

leo: “you don’t need anyone’s validation” telling a leo they don’t need appreciation is like telling someone they don’t need sunlight. just tell them you love them so they don’t have to ask first..then maybe they’ll stop asking

virgo: “can you just sit down for a second!?” …what and explode in every direction from an over eruption of nervous energy? they’re all ready round up like a wiry string and above everything else going on in their minds you want them to suppress their bodies?

libra: “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” so there is plenty of stinky fish and i can’t find one that wants me? what is wrong with me?! why is it hard for me to catch one then

scorpio: “it’s all in your head” well not validating their pain isn’t going to get them to open up. and no sadness or anger is ‘just in their heads’ it penetrates and emulsifies through their whole bodies

sagittarius: “well you didn’t have to say that!” what, you didn’t want the truth? why did you ask their opinion then? did you want them to lie to you? if your butt looks big in that dress, they consider it in your best interest you know the truth

capricorn: “just try not to worry” not only have capricorns imagined the best case scenario, they have already foreseen the worst. it gives them peace to have an emergency exit planned, unless you want them to be jumpy all day

aquarius: “oh come on, be realistic!” aquarians think forward, sideways, and backwards. if it could be thought, they have though it all. not only are they intimate with reality (fixed/saturn) they are intimate with alternative, other galactic realities (air/uranus)

pisces: “don’t be so easily offended” they probably aren’t offended, it probably hurt. and if it didn’t hurt them, it hurt somebody they are close to them. and that is even more painful -C.

The Fic Writer’s Beatitudes

Blessed are the readers, for theirs is the archive.

Blessed are the betas: for they help us write the stories we see in our hearts.
Blessed are they that kudo, for they reassure us that someone likes what we’ve done.
Blessed are the rebloggers and reccers, for they help the readers find our work.
Blessed are they which leave comments on a WIP that say something other than “write more please”: for they comfort us when we feel taken for granted.
Blessed are the commenters; for their words bring us joy.
Blessed are the loyal fans, for they keep the fandom alive.
Blessed are the fan artists, for they bring our worlds to life before our eyes.
Blessed are they which read an entire long fic and comment each chapter, for the string of comment notifications fills the writer’s heart with delight.
Blessed are ye, who rec our fics in public and tag us, for seeing that we made somebody squee is the light in our days.
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad; for great is your reward in fandom.

13 Reasons Why

Thoughts on 13 Reasons Why characters and a rating of how much I dislike them from 1 being “my baby!!!!” to 10 being “FUCK THEM THEY CAN ROT” 

Hannah Baker: Didn’t deserve everything she went through especially rape. She pushed some people away though and sometimes she was kind of idk how to word it but I didn’t like stuff about her at times. Either way she deserved so much better than what she got. Deserved to be happy with Clay. 2/10.

Clay Jensen: Will fight anyone for Hannah. He was so shy around her and didn’t know what to do whenever he was with her, he’s so precious. Sometimes there were some things he did that didn’t sit right with me but he definitely deserved a happy ending with Hannah Baker; they deserved to be happy and in love and ugh. Also… took like 4823707592 years to listen to the tapes? 2/10.

Tony Padilla: Gay POC which I love because we need more of them. I love him he was so patient with Clay and all he ever did was try and protect Hannah’s wishes. Glad he shared the tapes with Hannah’s parents because they deserved to know why she killed herself instead of being left in the dust wondering why. I was always so happy when he came on screen. CLAY LISTEN TO THE GODDAMN TAPES. 1/10.

Jeff Atkins: My pure cinnamon roll, didn’t deserve to die because of a stupid girl who couldn’t own up to her mistakes. I hate how nobody including his parents and except Clay never knew he wasn’t drunk that night he died. Just wanted Clay and Hannah together. Your fave is problematic: uses “unique” 7 times in an essay. -5435973495797/10. I love him forever, hes so great. Never did anything bad.

Justin Foley: Didn’t deserve the home life he had BUT i really hated him for what he did to Hannah and the fact that he’s a rape enabler and a rape apologist like he literally let his best friend rape his unconscious girlfriend, covered up for him, and lied to her about it and then when she found out, he STILL was justifying what he and Bryce did by telling her that he didn’t tell anyone because Bryce does all this shit for him. KNEW that whatever happened at that party was fucking Jessica up but didn’t come forward until the very end. Claims he cared for her but you don’t do that shit to someone you claim you care about. Fuck him for that. 8/10.

Jessica Davis: She was so cool and nice in the beginning but then I hated how she got mad at Hannah and slapped her for the list instead of Alex, like really??? You think she asked to be on that list?? PLEASE. But after all that, she was still nice towards her and was never ill-mannered when it came to Hannah. Also, can we talk about how she didn’t deserve to be raped??? Justin Foley DEFINITELY didn’t deserve her. YOU GO GIRL. TELL HIM YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN. 5/10.

Alex Standall: He made some poor decisions making that list for a stupid reason and then letting Hannah pay the price. I somewhat like him though. I think he was a redeemable character and had a conscience (although it was too late, rip Hannah Baker) and felt that he needed to own up to it and tell the truth, was ready for whatever penalty he was gonna get. Was the only one (for a while) who thought what the others were trying to do was stupid. He definitely deserved better too, he didn’t deserve to shoot himself (or in other theories, didn’t deserve to be shot by Tyler). Please be okay…please be alive, baby. 4/10. 

Courtney Crimsen: GIRL, BYE. I hate and will always hate her character so much. Her and Bryce should just rot. She was a rape apologist and only cared about herself. Like girl I get that coming out is hard, I haven’t even done it, but to fuck up Hannah’s life like that? Are you serious? Justified Bryce’s actions to hide her truth. And she fucked up Jessica’s life too, in my opinion. She tried so hard to convince herself (and others) that Hannah was lying, Bryce isn’t a rapist, and that Jessica was never raped just so she can stay in the fucking closet. Like there’s nothing wrong with being gay. And she has two gay dads for fucks sake. 10/10 would always hate her again. 

Zach Dempsey: I think he genuinely liked Hannah but after all the shit Hannah had been through and the fact that his friends were his friends, I definitely see Hannah’s side of why she shot him down. I think he, himself, was lonely too but in different way; just because someone’s popular doesn’t mean they’re not lonely. Didn’t get compliments so he stole Hanah’s when she needed it most (I hate how he did that ugh like WHY…did you really need it?). Redeemable character, though. Also…HE KEPT HANNAH’S NOTE IN HIS WALLET!!! 5/10.

Tyler Down: Fuck him. A fucking creep. Like, he stalked people and took pictures of them when they were unaware (especially Hannah) and when she confronted him, HE FUCKING SENT THE PICTURE TO EVERYONE. Claims he “loved” Hannah but really?? FUCK HIM. Why did he even have so much guns? I’m pretty sure he’s planning a school shooting…fucking psychopath…”I can take care of myself” BOY BYE. And if he did shoot Alex, FUCK HIM EVEN MORE. 9/10.

Ryan Shaver: Didn’t respect Hannah’s wishes. Only cared about himself and poetry. Didn’t even care that Hannah didn’t want her shit to get out. I only liked him whenever he said Bryce is a rapist and that Courtney should just shut the fuck up and stop justifying Bryce’s actions. 8/10.

Marcus Cole: He cared more about himself and his reputation more than anyone. Thought he was the shit. Sexually assaulted Hannah then called her easy for refusing. 9/10.

Sheri: I liked her and she was genuinely nice but she crashed the stop sign and left a drunken Hannah at the scene and fled. Caused Jeff to die and I hate her for it. Though she reported it because she knew it was the right thing to do, it was already waaay too late. 6/10 because of Jeff.

Bryce: Rapist. Douchebag. Scum of the earth. He didn’t even think what he did was wrong. He raped two fucking girls and didn’t even feel remorse. He just thought every girl wanted him and that was that. I hate him so much, he can die. 102804802020x100000/10.

Mr. Porter: Could have tried better to stop Hannah from killing herself. She was set on suicide until she had doubts and needed just one person to help her and the one person she came to didn’t care enough to chase after her when she left his room that day. Worst. Guidance Counselor. Ever. 8/10.

How to keep someone safe through drug addiction

Here are a few things I have learned to keep my partner safe while using. This may be controversial to some people or described as ‘enabling’ but I think knowing what to do and what not to do will save lives for sure.
Drug addiction is a crippling, awful thing and I do not advise anyone to take any drug without extensive knowledge and precaution.
However if you want to keep the people you love safe then these things may really help, especially in life saving situations.

1. NEVER LET THEM SLEEP ON THEIR BACK.
This has caused deaths in many cases because when using opiates the body goes into respiratory depression (slowed breathing) and it makes it much harder for them to breathe and much easier for them to choke if they sleep on their backs.
Wake them up if you have to. Turn them into the recovery position (on their left or right side, hands away from the face, legs crossed) and make sure there is no obstructions in their mouth. Keep checking up on them throughout the night, if you can, invest in a blood pressure monitor just for peace of mind to check their pulse isn’t too low. I know the normal range for my boyfriend, and can see on there if it’s anything abnormal.

2.MAKE SURE THEY GET PLENTY OF WATER.
Whilst using, they are not in a normal frame of mind, ie: breakfast lunch or dinner aren’t going to be a priority when they are withdrawing or high / fully sedated. The ideal amount of water to consume in a day is 2.2 litres so try and get them to have a few glasses of water every now and then. Check their temperature and if needed get a cold flannel to cool them down, this can help with withdrawal.

3. BE AS SUPPORTIVE AS YOU CAN.
This may seem obvious, but those trips to the clinic or the hours trying to score can be really draining mentally as well as physically for someone, especially when they are withdrawing. Knowing you are there for them, holding their hand and being there will make a world of difference. Your love and support will encourage the person in recovery because it will give them something to fight for if they know you are there helping them and shining a small light on a really dark situation.


4. KNOW THE WITHDRAWAL SIGNS FOR YOUR LOVED ONE.
These are a list of basic symptoms my partner experiences and are common as well.
- irritation/irrational anger
- sweating
- nausea and diarrhoea
-panic attacks
-anxiety
-fidgety
-shakes
-high blood pressure
-severe migraines

5. HELP THEM WITH BASIC NEEDS.
What I mean by this is, most people using drugs have pretty bad mental health and are struggling mentally foremost, but this is a catalyst for poor hygiene, bad physical health and emotional withdrawal.
Try and get them to go for a walk every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Fresh air and exercise is the best medicine next to good nutrition.
Help them tidy up, wash and clean themselves. It’s likely their living space is going to be dirty so where you can, put things in the bin, get rid of any used needles or bloody tissues and make sure they are tied up in a big rubbish bag and disposed of. Get them any deodorant or nice products to help them with good self care as this can be a real help in recovery as well. When I’m not feeling good a shower and a shave always makes me feel better.
Try and get them to talk about how their feeling, if it’s good or if it’s bad, and just listen. I’m not asking you to be a therapist, just be there when they need someone to share their pain and to emotionally support them. It will do wonders for their self esteem and also recovery.

6. UNDERSTAND YOU MAY HAVE TO PUT THINGS ON HOLD.
Drug addiction is a life long battle this person is going to have to deal with. Just like any disorder or addiction it is going to take a lot of work and a lot of time and effort and a want to get better. This means their needs will have to come first when they are seeking help, especially in the beginning. If you want your loved one to get better you are going to have to accept your me time will be put on hold for a little while and things you have to do will have to be moved around in order to help the person suffering. Remember it is them going through this, but also you, so when you get a chance do take some time for yourself and remind yourself what a great job you are doing by taking care of them in this time if need. You are literally saving a human beings’ life, I don’t know anything more rewarding than that.

7. RESPECT YOUR LOVED ONE.
What I mean by this is, don’t shout about it to everyone you know that this person is going through drug addiction. It’s terrible enough as it is, without people talking about it and making them feel even worse about themselves. They will be much more likely to use / hurt themselves if they are made to feel ashamed or guilty about their problems. That’s not a place I would wish anyone to be. The people they care most about will be informed, and if that’s you then consider it a privilege that they have chosen you to be someone they can confide in.

8. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If you see any signs in your loved one which worry you or make you feel concerned, do not hesitate to call the emergency services. That is what they are there for.
If someone is nodding out on opiates (heroin, morphine, codeine,
oxies etc) check their breathing and shake them a little just to make sure they are okay. If they go anywhere by themselves whilst high be sure to check on them for example in the bath they could nod out and drown if left alone for too long.
If you know they are on drugs and have passed out on the floor and aren’t responding, check their pulse and immediately call an ambulance. This is when it is essential to get help. Do not hit or try and shake them vigorously as this can cause brain damage. Wait for the emergency services to arrive.

If your loved one is an opiate user, CARRY NALOXONE! And learn how to administer it. Naloxone will completely reverse all side effects so if they are not responding this will bring them back to a sober state but they will be fully withdrawing. Call emergency services straight after administering the naloxone.

I can’t think of anything much more to add other than just to love these people and to treat them as you would anybody else who is suffering and in pain. Your love will help them, no matter how tough it seems, no matter how many sleepless nights and no matter how drained you may feel, I promise you it is worth it when you keep these people safe and alive.

From A, with love x
P.s my ask box is open for any questions or help with keeping your loved one safe through drug addiction.

13 Reasons Why controversy

Because the response to 13 Reasons Why has been so controversial, I’d just like to point out some things.

As explained in 13 Reasons Why: Beyond the Reasons, the suicide scene was shown BECAUSE they wanted it to be painful for the audience to watch, as well as the rape scenes. Not because they wanted to be gruesome or inconsiderate, but because it is REALITY for so many people in the world and a lot of people like to pretend these things don’t exist or shield themselves from the reality of it; they ignore it because they’ve never gone through it, so they don’t care so much. So then when they see these scenes, they will be made uncomfortable and see what people are really truly experiencing and that it is not something that should at all be sugarcoated or ignored. IT IS REAL.

Secondly, for those saying it’s disgusting for them to show these scenes, THERE ARE WARNINGS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODES THAT SHOW RAPE AND/OR SUICIDE TO NOT WATCH IF IT WILL AFFECT THE VIEWER IN ANY WAY. These warnings are given specifically so that if you are not comfortable watching or believe it would cause a trigger, you should not even watch. So the fact that people are bashing the show for showing these scenes in relation to them being a trigger, the warnings are already made very clear in the beginning. They did take this step to make sure it wouldn’t just pop up and be any sort of triggers. The producers knew very well to be wary of that.
The show also worked with a lot of psychiatrists, psychologists, and leading experts in teen-suicide prevention. Though this still may not be enough for you to think they did everything right, they again did have the warnings. They are very aware that it could cause triggers and put some people in danger, but THAT IS WHAT THE WARNINGS ARE FOR. DO NOT WATCH IF IT COULD DANGER YOU. VIEWER’S DISCRETION IS ALWAYS ADVISED.

THE SHOW WAS NOT CREATED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. IT IS TO SPREAD AWARENESS FOR ALL THE ISSUES (suicide, rape, bullying) AND POINT OUT HOW LITTLE THE SIGNS CAN BE AND HOW MUCH MORE CAREFUL AND HELPFUL EVERYONE IN THE WORLD NEEDS TO BE TO THE PEOPLE AROUND US. As also talked about in Beyond the Reasons, they want to promote teaching boys the proper ways to approach a girl and gain permission to become intimate with her, always getting the YES to teach boys respect for women. This is very important because as most people know, it has always been extremely hard for rape victims to get help because of the “what were you wearing” “were you flirting” “did you lead him on” “did you directly say no” arguments that are so wrongfully executed—instead, 13 Reasons Why knows that this is an issue, as somewhat shown in the scene with Mr. Porter as he questions Hannah. So in the after show, they speak about how parents need to be teaching their children more about consent and less about just protecting yourself, covering up, etc. They are aware that the real issue is with proper consent, and that is a very important message to get across.

Coming from someone who has battled depression and suicidal thoughts and attempts, I must also point out that EVERY SINGLE PERSON, EXPERIENCES, THOUGHTS, REACTIONS, ETC ARE DIFFERENT. What one person suffering depression thinks may be different than another. Hannah Baker’s story is very unique in many ways yet also extremely relatable in many ways to many, many people and girls around the world. JUST BECAUSE YOUR STORY MAY BE DIFFERENT DOES NOT MEAN HERS IS INCORRECT OR LESS/MORE THAN ANOTHER’S. There are a lot of people who can relate to feeling as though you are NOTHING and of no worth to the people around you, just a burden that only disappoints everyone and makes their lives worse. This is a very real state of being and depression and feeling of complete worthlessness that people can reach in their lives, especially some young teenage girls, like Hannah Baker, and even myself, that will lead to suicidal thoughts, attempts, or completely following through with, like Hannah. They believe the world and their loved ones would be better off without them. Again, as someone who has attempted suicide as a teenager and worked for years to fight depression and overcome it, I can say that while the suicide scene did make me uncomfortable and was extremely painful to watch, I was not offended. I knew of the warning at the beginning of the episode, read it, and continued to watch because EVERYONE HANDLES THESE THINGS DIFFERENTLY. I UNDERSTOOD the purpose of including the scene and making it so graphic and realistic. IT’S REALITY, THIS IS HAPPENING TO PEOPLE EVERYDAY AND IT SHOULD NOT BE SUGARCOATED OR SHIELDED FROM THE WORLD; it needs to be made more AWARE OF by those who like to turn a blind eye to it, but it is exposed WITH WARNING. So again, if some feel as though a scene like this would be a trigger, IT IS ADVISED YOU DO NOT WATCH. Everyone is affected differently and they did not just insert it with no consideration for the affect it could have on those battling the same wars as Hannah.

To say Clay was an easy solution and could have saved Hannah by loving her—no, he could not have saved her by just loving her, that is not what this story is even saying. Hannah does explain at the end of her last tape as she exits the school that some people cared, but she felt it was only mediocre, not enough for her to want to stay and feel NEEDED and truly LOVED. So no, they are not saying Clay could have kept her alive by simply loving her, or that love can save someone, it is much more complex than that. What they are saying is that people can care, but not showing how much they truly care can affect someone in the ways it affected Hannah. It was not just one boy’s love that could have saved her, but the love and care of many people, for them to show that they truly cared about her being alive and DID NOT see her as worthless, an object, just another person on earth. She needed to feel as though they NEEDED her to stay, that they genuinely cared about her as a person and that her life was truly worth something, because she did not feel it was. When Clay says he could have kept her alive if he wasn’t so afraid to tell her he loved her, he simply means he could have given her a sense of hope, a sense of belonging on the earth, that someone truly, whole-heartedly valued her life and her as a human being, not an object.

The actress who plays Jessica also explained that she reached out to a family member who is an actual rape survivor, and she stated that she was pleased that the show was “not shying away from the ugliness” of these scenes because viewers will see what these people really go through–again, another topic that is usually sugarcoated and instead needs to be addressed.

13 Reasons Why is a unique way of telling the story of a teenage girl who committed suicide, and the reasoning for bringing it to screen was MOSTLY to promote awareness and shine light on things that are not talked about enough that the youth suffers every single day, things adults see as “normal teenager struggles,” “small stuff,” “it only feels like the end of the world and really isn’t,” etc. This show is being spread more than even expected, and that is a very good thing for those who are in need of help and have parents or peers that once ignored their problems and will now tend to them.


**an issue cannot be tended to/made aware of/more properly prevented if it is just sugarcoated rather than slapped in people’s faces (those who don’t realize how severe it is) like this show does. it can really change things and leave an impact.

**if you are at risk for triggers and do not feel you are currently healthy enough to watch this show, please take care of yourself and do not watch. or, skip episodes 9, 12, and 13 and read up on them instead. these are the episodes that can be triggers for those at risk, if you weren’t yet aware.

**also feel free to stop by my inbox and talk to me if you need someone to talk to, or just would like to speak more on the subject.

Yuri on Ice interview translation - CREA 2017/03 (p32-33)

This is the full interview with Mitsurou Kubo published on CREA. I actually wanted to translate all the YOI interviews together but some translations going around urged me to post this one before the others, as I wouldn’t be able to finish everything tonight.

It’s not really an interview, it’s more like a partial interview and a short commentary of each episode.

The other 4 short interviews are with Kenji Miyamoto (choreographer), Eiji Abiko & Junpei Tatenaka (figure skating animators), Yuuko Sagiri (original costume designer), Keisuke Tominaga (music producer). I will try to post them tomorrow night if I can finish them.

***If you wish to share this translation please do it by reblogging or posting a link to it***

***Re-translating into other languages is ok but please mention that this post is the source***


The reality as expressed by 5 people who created “Yuri on Ice”

Reality #1: Story x Mitsurou Kubo

“The reality of emotions” is what Kubo-san gave most importance to when she created the manga storyboard for this series. “Simply listing up the contents of the skaters’ programs and their score and connecting them together is not going to create something emotional. In my storyboard I tried to convey the feelings of all athletes, not just Yuuri, with their performances, to express them carefully, so that other skaters who watch them will in turn be influenced by them like in a chain reaction.”
An important tool to express those feelings are the monologues that can be heard during the programs, blended in harmony with the performance.
“Watching the footage of the choreographies by Kenji Miyamoto-sensei I realized that, even though he simply created them based on the songs, in many cases they perfectly match the athlete’s feelings too. I was so moved and thought that Kenji-sensei is an amazing person.”
As the series is pursuing reality, it does not contain any unrealistic techniques.
“If we had included something over-the-top people would have just said ‘that’s unreal’, so I thought that it was better to just go a little ahead of reality, and consulted with many people to decide the difficulty of the techniques to use. However, shortly thereafter real life skaters actually surpassed that level, which really surprised me. We did decide the level knowing that it would be surpassed one day, but we didn’t think it would happen so soon!”
The writer Mitsurou Kubo also needed a lot of courage to portray Yuuri determined to win for love.
“On the ice rink you can express anything, and that’s why, even if I had never thought about what true love is or represented it before, I decided to try my hand at openly depicting love as fiction. As a result, I myself was encouraged by the story I wrote and felt that I could make a fresh start after that.”

“I ended up being encouraged by the story about love that I openly portrayed as fiction.”

Highlights of every episode by Mitsurou Kubo

#1 Nan no Piroshiki!! Namida no Grand Prix Final
“I want you to watch the best figure skating animation”
Before the series was broadcasted I was worried, because normally original anime not based on a previous work and airing late at night take a long time to catch the viewers’ attention. However, my fear was swept away by the extraordinary skating scenes of the first episode, and the show gained a good reputation right away. Stunning images can provide the best promotion.

#2 Futari no Yuri!? Yutopia no Ran
“Figure skaters feeling more familiar”
This part is set during the off-season in Yuuri’s hometown. If we had showed special people battling each other in a faraway place from the very start the viewers would never have felt close to them, therefore I decided to start the story with the Russians, Victor and Yurio, spending time in the onsen of the castle town Hasetsu, eating katsudon and spreading news via the SNS, so that they would feel more familiar to the audience.

#3 Boku ga Eros de Eros ga Boku de!? Taiketsu! Onsen on ICE
“You can feel the growth of Yuuri and Yurio”
Once the Grand Prix series starts no one can afford to lose anymore, so I created this provisional match between Yuuri and Yurio to emphasize their relationship as rivals but also as comrades. I also wanted to show that a competitive program is progressively brushed up during the season based on each athlete’s pace. Originally I also thought of showing Yurio’s mother rushing to the scene.

#4 Jibun wo Suki ni Natte… Kansei!! Free Program
“Yuuri and Victor gradually become closer”
In the process of completing the free skating program Yuuri and Victor become closer to each other, both as coach and student and as equals. Yuuri’s gesture of poking the top of Victor’s head has no logical meaning. I think it symbolizes how Yuuri, acting on an impulse, breaks his own shell and steps into the territory of the person that previously was only considered a living legend.

#5 Kao Makka!! Shosen Da yo! Chuu-shikoku-kyuushuu Senshuken Taikai
“Check out the relationship between seniors and juniors”
Minami-kun, a skater that looks up to Yuuri, appears in this episode. I really like the scene where Yuuri, finally becoming aware that he is going to lead the current generation of Japanese skaters, silently hits Minami-kun’s back. As in the scene where he pokes Victor’s head, once again Yuuri uses a physical action, instead of logic or words, to try to communicate something. When it’s animated it looks really awesome.

#6 Kaimaku Grand Prix Series Yacchaina!! Chuugoku Taikai SP
“Check out Chris’ sexiness”
The tournament starts and many fascinating athletes make their appearances, but this episode is also an occasion to fully enjoy the charm of Chris’ ass. After watching Kenji-sensei’s choreography I decided to draw a beautiful ass in my storyboard, then its charm was further emphasized in the animation, and finally thanks to the voice actor’s absolutely sexy voice we could obtain the best ass animation ever.

#7 Kaimaku Grand Prix Series Yacchaina!! Chuugoku Taikai FS
“An FSP where Yuuri and Victor overcome their fears”
Yuuri and Victor were both anxious before the FS, and I feel that the strongly emotional scenes following that were represented in a very effective way. Regarding the last scene, I started receiving lots of questions from overseas, asking “Did Yuuri and Victor hug? Or was it a kiss?” and that’s when I realized how much the anime’s popularity had spread worldwide.

#8 Yuuri VS Yuri Osoroshia!! Russia Taikai SP
“JJ’s striking appearance is a must see”
This episode is where Jean-Jacques Leroy, aka JJ, one of the most likely candidates to win the gold medal, appears. What is scary about JJ is that he has the ability to paint any story in JJ color, overshadowing even the protagonist. Mamoru Miyano-san, the one who played his role, managed to take JJ to the next level with his natural personality and made him all the more convincing.

#9 Yuuri VS Yuri Osoroshia!! Russia Taikai FS
“When the absence of an important person makes you grow”
This episode is where Yuuri grows after fighting without Victor next to him. When we went location hunting at the Fukuoka airport there was a glassed-in corridor close to the arrival lobby, and as the director saw it she excitedly said “Yuuri and Victor are going to run side by side separated by the glass!”. I was like “they definitely are!”, and we started taking heaps of pictures. The airport is currently being remodeled and it’s not possible to recreate the scene.

#10 Chou Ganbaranba! Grand Prix Final Chokuzen Special
“Ordinary life episode the night before the last fight”
As the last part depicting ordinary life before the Grand Prix Final, I wanted to create a relaxing episode without skating scenes while at the same time introducing the athletes, but in the end so many things happened in it that no one could relax and I was told that even animating it was a pain. The ring Yuuri gave Victor also carries the meaning of a symbol that the two of them are like soul mates.

#11 Chou Chou Ganbaranba!! Grand Prix Final SP
“The speed leading to the last episode is impressive to watch”
The OP footage, that was gradually changed from episode 1 by adding colors, is finally complete. I was happy that we could welcome as voice actors Ken Gamada-san, who actually works as an MC in tournaments and ice shows, and Nobunari Oda-san as himself doing the commentary. With the pace of the story speeding up toward the finale, this episode was just chaos.

#12 Chou Chou Chou Ganbaranba!!! Grand Prix Final FS
“A final episode where you can catch a glimpse of everyone’s future”
Including Stéphane Lambiel-san’s debut as an anime seiyuu, which is something no one could have expected, the chaotic mixup of anime and reality reaches a climax in this episode. Beside the sense of fulfillment for the victory, I think that the contents also let you catch a glimpse of each character’s future. I was about to faint looking at the beauty of Victor’s tears.


Final note (this is just my opinion, it’s not part of the translation): There is a translation going around where the line about soul mates is translated as “proof”, but actually the word 証 (akashi) can have many different meanings, among which symbol/mark/token/proof/sign etc. In this case, I personally do not think it means “proof” (also to be honest when it’s “proof” usually they write it as 証拠 shouko). It’s more like symbol/token, as in “it’s meant to symbolize Yuuri and Victor’s deep bond that goes beyond a normal relationship”. Although the difference is only subtle, I still think it’s not the same. Also please understand that the Japanese word “soul mate” does not have the meaning that is used in fanfiction… I believe it’s actually the same in English too, but in normal conversation it means “two people that have a strong spiritual/emotional bond (that makes them suited for each other, be it either as friends or lovers)”, not “two people who were destined to be together from their previous life”. That is something you are free to imagine or fantasize about, however please do not twist the creators’ words just to fit people’s headcanons…

P.S.: And please do not misunderstand me. I love Victuuri, but I prefer to draw a line between canon and fanon, and I don’t really like it when words by the creators are “adapted” to accomodate people’s shipping ideas. I think what she says is deep enough even without mistranslating it anyway…

I don’t think people understand how utterly terrifying it is to have repressed memories & to have so many missing chunks of your childhood….. like .. literally, it is so awful?? To literally know that these Bad Things have happened to you but being unable to know what they are and who did them etc… especially people w/ out childhood trauma or ptsd. It is so so horrible that I don’t even know that I can explain it right now. I just wish it was more widely talked about past our little group of Tumblr trauma blogs yanno?
I just want people to know that repressed memories aren’t “fake” like you don’t just randomly make things up and then call them recovered memories??? It’s very real, and it’s so unbearably re-traumatizing to get these memories back, even small ones. And to miss parts of your life is absolutely terrible, and you don’t have any control over when you’re gonna get memories back. There’s no way to just… conjure up the memories !! You have to wait. And wait. Until a moment in your day when you’re thinking about your mom and the way she used to dress, and about a question your therapist asked you yesterday about clothing and then suddenly you see your mom and you in a room and she is hurting you. And you fall to the floor or you stop or you cry or you dissociate or you just . You just feel everything. Or nothing. But it’s back and it’s real and it’s absolutely awful because that one memory, you know, is so tiny in comparison to all the things you don’t remember, and you know how fucking much getting the rest of them back is going to hurt bc this small sliver of trauma sent you falling to the floor in tears.

It’s absolutely terrible and it hurts me every single day and I just feel like it isn’t talked about enough, people who don’t have experience with it don’t understand how horrible it is, don’t understand that it’s not just some silly little, “omg yeah I can’t remember when I was a small infant and my mom took me to the zoo!!” Like. No. I can’t remember anything from years and years of my childhood. And it’s scary. And people need to recognize it as such

10

Barry White Jr, a 5th grade English teacher in NC, has a special handshake for each one of his students

“I started with one simple handshake last year with a 4th grader. She would wait for me every morning before she’d go to class. She’d get in trouble sometimes for being late because she’d wait on the handshake. 

This year I started making handshakes with the kids at recess. It was just one or two students and then it became contagious. I saw how much it meant to them, so I said, ‘Come on. Everyone come on.’ Then it was my full class, then it was kids from other classes. Now I have 3rd graders wanting to do it too.”

it’s nice to see teacher who are more than just uniform, who care about their students, as the individual people they are and want make learning and school enjoyable for these kids and encourage them. I wish every student, regardless of race, would treat every teacher, regardless of race, like this!

I wish people would stop calling kihyun ‘snake’, ‘satan’ or whatever. this joke is really becoming annoying and people will only see kihyun as 'a bad person’. he actually is very very sweet and caring, he is literally like an angel. he always does everything to make monbebes and his members happy. he likes joking around with the members, he wakes them up in the morning and nags them while cleaning like an actual mom. he studies at university while doing promotions and i think this is really admirable. he also started improving his english in order to communicate with international fans. he always works hard to show us an awesome performance and it’s obvious that his dancing skills have improved. he got a lot more confident about himself too and this is great! kihyun is an open-minded and amazing person with a big heart so I hope people will start giving him a lot of respect and realize how great he is

8

I like things that are eye-openers, I like learning, I like experiencing, and I said that I enjoy coming upon new things. And so I am the type to try everything. That way, I can inform the people that I like and I can be of help. When people say they’ll do something, I can recount my experience and that will help them. I think that also includes how I see the world. So I think I will challenge all kinds of things.

— wishing my prince & my one and only sehun a very happy birthday ♡ (12.04)

Wanna know what I want to see more of?

ROBOTS AT THE BEACH.

*robots having to spray silicone sealant on their joints so they don’t have to worry about anything important rusting over (if Ratch catches you skipping this crucial step he will weld you to a med bay and do it himself. It’s not pleasant)

*Robots pitching a fit when they get sand in their unmentionables and having to take a 45 minute shower just to get half of the damned grit out of their grilles.

*Robots playing in the water!! Dunking each other and having splash fights and all that cute shite!!

*“Hey guys the ocean is full of free dogs!!”, “SIDESWIPE, THAT IS NOT A DOG PUT IT BACK!”, *Great White: :D*

*“WHAAAAAAAAALES!!!”, “Wheeljack you cannot just rush up to them they are classified as endangered by the humans-Wheeljack? WHEELJACK NO!”

*“What is this nonsense?”, “I believe it’s called ‘seaweed’”, “…I don’t like it”

*Big ass beach umbrellas for taking nice long naps under.

*Could you imagine the sand castles though?!
“It’s a bit excessive don’t you think?”, “I don’t understand why you would say that. It looks perfectly fine to me!”, “…how many sand castles do you know have foyers, Hoist?”

*Sunhats!

*“Didn’t we have more people with us?”, “idk, man I’m still trying to get over that horde of jellyfish”, *back at the beach, Ratchet slumbers underneath six feet of sand only to awaken and emerge like some eldritch horror. People are screaming, he scratches himself at growls irritably at them before transforming and moving on.*

GOD I WISH I WAS A BETTER WRITER SO I CAN EXPAND ON THIS BUT YEAH,

ROBOTS ON THE BEACH!

I’m sorry we let you boys down..

I’m sorry no one noticed your cries for help. I’m sorry that no one stuck up for you when you needed them to the most.

I’m sorry that you felt the only way you could get people to listen was to cause harm and I’m sorry that you felt you had to cause harm because of how these people made you felt.

What you boys did wasn’t okay, I’m sure you know that by now. You’re probably looking at me right now thinking I’m just like the rest of them.

Dylan, Eric, I wish you had realized that if you held on for a couple more months everything would have been better for you, but I’m sure you realized that.

I’m sure you knew that well what if you had graduated? Would it stop? Oh no, you were too far into the plan by now. You couldn’t just get rid of all the bombs you had made and the guns you acquired. You went too far.

Dylan, you were excited for college. I know “another few years of the torment”, I know it just meant more school and more bullying but it could’ve been better for you, we can all see how much potential you had and that isn’t a lie. You were a handsome young man with potential to be something big, you would be so proud of how computers are now!

Eric, you were bright too. You had potential just like Dylan did and there’s a new Doom game out, funny right? I bet you didn’t realize your Doom levels would have so many views and so many people playing them. Does that make you happy? 

You boys left such an image on the world, you helped everyone recognize bullying, you helped bring up the conversations about school violence and mental health. You boys had so much potential but you threw it away for what? A little revenge on people you didn’t even really know?

Dylan, Eric, you were selfish. You shouldn’t have been bullied so badly, but what you did wasn’t okay and I’m not going to tell you that you did something good because you didn’t. You ruined families, you hurt the community, the country, the world. You hurt your friends. 

Your friends, you know the people who were there for you. You guys felt so alone but you didn’t realize you both had friends and you both had each other. You were so strung high on having friends that you didn’t realize how strong of a bond you both had, that was what was important.

I believe you should have suffered for what you did, I don’t think forever, but you should have had punishment. I hope by now the punishment is over and you’re smiling together playing Doom and watching all of us make fools out of ourselves. 

I hope you’re in your paradise, you have your freedom and you have your peace.

Rest easy.

Yuuri isn’t just a badass he’s also a good person. The reason he can come across ‘cold’ is because of his degree of self-loathing, which causes himself to sometimes not acknowledge how much people around him care about him (something he works on as the series goes on! this is a big part of his character arc). It’s got nothing to do with his view of other people’s value of individuals and how much he cares about them and everything to do with how he views himself. He has trouble forming connections with others because he views himself as someone people wouldn’t want to form connections with. This is not necessarily okay, but it’s literally a huge part of his character arc!! He becomes so much better about this as the series goes on, and it’s wonderful to see. 

Here’s the thing about Yuuri Katsuki. He’s a selfless person, to a fault. People completely misread the ‘I’ll let the whole world hate me’ scene. It’s not about selfish love. It’s not about possessive love. It’s about making a choice between caring about how people perceive you and not caring about how people perceive you. 

Yuuri thinks that if he goes out there and skates his best, people are going to hate him, see him as taking Victor from the world. He says so what, fuck that. It’s more important to me that I reach my goal. I’d rather me be hated than Victor be hated anyway. Hate me for taking Victor from the world, fine. I just want to skate. I’d rather skate and be hated than have you like me and give up on doing something I love. To help himself in that situation, to give himself confidence, he reminds himself that he is the only person who does know Victor’s love the way he does, which is absolutely true. He reminds himself of the love he has in his life. That it’s unique. That’s it’s special. 

‘Victor is the first thing I’ve ever wanted to hold onto.’

Victor is the first thing he’s ALLOWED himself to hold onto (and even then, he tries to let him go later on because he’s self-sacrificing). 

There’s nothing selfish about that– or possessive, or anything of the sort. It’s someone looking at adversity and going ‘my goal is more important to me than your perception of me’, and for someone as self-deprecating as Yuuri, someone who has struggled with forming emotional connections because they haven’t felt like people wanted to form emotional connections with them due to their own lack of self worth, this is a HUGE DEAL. It’s awesome.

Allowing Yuuri to in a sense, claim something as his, is actually a triumphant moment for him, because he rarely does this. It’s good and right. Yuuri is often selfless to a fault. When he says ‘I wish to eat pork cutlet bowls with you’ we applaud him. When Yuuri wants something and expresses it, we CHEER for him.

Yuuri spends the entire last third of the series trying to sacrifice Victor despite the fact that Victor, to the audience, CLEARLY wants to stay with him. But Yuuri, darling Yuuri, due to his own anxiety and self-worth issues, sees himself as holding Victor back. He ‘wants to stay in figure skating with Victor forever’, but he’s willing to give up everything he loves so Victor can be happy, no hesitations. He smiles, he doesn’t cry. Heck he’s willing to be called selfish without argument even though that’s obviously nonsense. He’s confident in this decision because it’s just what’s right to him. He’s wrong because it’s not what Victor wants, but never doubt that Yuuri is a good person, a selfless person, who would give up anything in an instant for someone he loves. 

Yuuri’s mental illness informs a lot of who he is, and it causes him to stumble and sometimes make it LOOK like he’s undervaluing people but he’s undervaluing himself, and he’s such a good person and he’s so filled with love. He’s loving and supporting and sometimes he just needs to find a way to express it and realize that it surrounds him and people love him in return, and the show is so much about that. Don’t underestimate how good a person Yuuri Katsuki is.

What Your Sign Has Taught Me
  • Aries: People are forever moving, and just because you're content with being stagnant doesn't mean everyone else is going to be too.
  • Taurus: People are going to do what they want to do at the end of the day. No amount of "warnings" or "Oh but I love yous" are going to stop them.
  • Gemini: Words are more than just words when they are articulated with passion and emotion. Be careful how you use them.
  • Cancer: There is an extremely thin line between a "joke" and blatant mocking and insulting. Sometimes, we cross it without even thinking, and that's simply unhealthy.
  • Leo: You should never apologize for dressing up, or spending money the way you want to, or being happy. If you're not hurting anyone, you should do as you wish.
  • Virgo: Some people just like to complain. It helps to take the edge off. So when they don't have anything to complain about, they might just pull something out of thin air.
  • Libra: As far as your first instincts about people go, you should trust them, at least a bit. Maybe she really is fishy, or maybe he can be a real douche. Just keep it in the back of your mind.
  • Scorpio: Just because someone can hold an intelligent conversation, talk with you all night, and make consistent, beautiful eye contact, doesn't mean they're hopelessly in love with you.
  • Sagittarius: There is still love in "tough love." While it can hurt, it does not create the absence of caring, nor should it.
  • Capricorn: It's okay to look up to others. Sometimes, through admiring another person's qualities, we can learn more about where it is we would like to someday be.
  • Aquarius: Although many people do not change, a change is possible. Sometimes it's just waiting for the right moment to develop.
  • Pisces: Don't confuse an emotional, sensitive person for a good friend or a good lover. Someone can be totally self-pitying and not care one bit how you feel.
The Only Exception (Part 8)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,733

Warnings: language, fire, panic, dangerous situation, rescue, drinking, bad jokes, I’m off the handle because I no longer care

A/N: If you don’t like it, don’t read it. After the posts I saw last week that personally attacked me…I wish some people put half as much effort into helping others and the earth as they do being genuinely awful.

Anyways, it’s fiction.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9

Originally posted by mizar113

Keep reading