i wish more people knew about her because i'm sure these people would love her

Wicked Lyric Meme
  • "Isn't it nice to know that good will conquer evil?"
  • "No one mourns the wicked."
  • "The good man scorns the wicked."
  • "Goodness knows, the wickeds lives are only."
  • "Goodness knows, the wicked die alone."
  • "Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?"
  • "Have another drink, my dark eyed beauty."
  • "Woe to those who spurn what goodness they are shown."
  • "Many years I have waited for a gift like yours to appear."
  • "My future is unlimited."
  • "What is this feeling so sudden and new?"
  • "Let's just say, I loathe it all."
  • "Every little trait, however small, makes my very flesh begin to crawl."
  • "There's a strange exhilaration in such total detestation."
  • "I will be loathing you my whole life long."
  • "These things are sent to try us."
  • "The trouble with school is they always try to teach the wrong lesson."
  • "Life's more painless for the brainless."
  • "It's just life, so keep dancing through."
  • "Life is fraughtless for the thoughtless."
  • "Those who don't try never look foolish."
  • "I hope you'll save at least one dance for me. I'll be right there. Waiting. All night."
  • "It's clear we deserve each other."
  • "Finally for this one night, I'm about to have a fun night."
  • "Black is this year's pink."
  • "I've got something to confess. A reason, well, why I asked you here tonight."
  • "We deserve each other. Don't we?"
  • "I've decided to make you my new project."
  • "When someone needs a makeover, I simply have to take over."
  • "You're gonna be popular!"
  • "I'll teach you the proper ploys when you talk to boys, little ways to flirt and flounce."
  • "I'll help you be popular!"
  • "Don't be offended by my frank analysis, think of it as personality dialysis."
  • "Did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh!"
  • "It's not about aptitude, its the way you're viewed."
  • "He could be that boy, but I'm not that girl."
  • "Don't dream too far."
  • "Don't lose sight of who you are."
  • "Wishing only wounds the heart."
  • "One short day full of so much to do."
  • "I think we've found the place where we belong."
  • "One short day to have a lifetime of fun."
  • "I am a sentimental man who's always longed to be a father."
  • "I think everyone deserves the chance to fly."
  • "Why couldn't you have stayed calm for once instead of flying off the handle!"
  • "I hope you're happy how you hurt your cause forever."
  • "I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission to feed your own ambition."
  • "I don't want it- no- I can't want it anymore."
  • "Something has changed within me. Something is not the same."
  • "I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game."
  • "It's time to try defying gravity."
  • "Can't I make you understand youre having delusions of grandeur?"
  • "I'm through accepting limits cuz someone says they're so."
  • "Some things I cannot change but til I try, I'll never know."
  • "If that's love it comes at much too high a cost."
  • "I really hope you get it and you don't live to regret it."
  • "If in flying solo, at least I'm flying free."
  • "Happy is what happens when all your dreams come true."
  • "People are so empty headed, they'll believe anything."
  • "I can't harbor a fugitive. I'm an elected official."
  • "There isn't a spell for everything."
  • "Finally from these powers, something good."
  • "Surely now I'll matter less to you. You won't mind my leaving here tonight."
  • "I've got to go appeal to her. Express the way I feel for her."
  • "You're going to lose your heart to me, I tell you."
  • "I never asked for this or planned it in advance."
  • "If you insist I will be wonderful."
  • "Where I'm from we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. We call it history."
  • "A rich man's a thief or a philanthropist."
  • "Is one a crusader or a ruthless invader?"
  • "It's all in which label is able to persist."
  • "I need help believing you're with me tonight."
  • "My wildest dreamings could not foresee lying beside you with you wanting me."
  • "I'll make every last moment last as long as you're mine."
  • "Maybe I'm brainless, maybe I'm wise, but you've got me seeing through different eyes."
  • "Somehow I've fallen under your spell."
  • "Say there's no future for us as a pair."
  • "Know I'll be here holding you as long as you're mine."
  • "It's just...for the first time, I feel wicked."
  • "Let his flesh not be torn."
  • "Let his blood leave no stain."
  • "Let him never die."
  • "You're the latest victim of my greatest achievment in a long career of distress."
  • "No good deed goes unpunished. That's my new creed."
  • "Was I really seeking good or just seeking attention?"
  • "No good deed will I do again!"
  • "Wickedness must be punished. Evil effectively eliminated."
  • "I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn."
  • "We are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them."
  • "I know I'm wrong am today because I knew you."
  • "Who can say if I've been changed for the better."
  • "Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."
  • "So much of me is made of what I learned from you."
  • "I ask forgiveness for the things I've done you blame me for."
if harry died in the forbidden forrest

- Hagrids heartbroken sobs would never turn into a smile. He would forever mourn his death along with millions of others
- of course he would have his good days and not dwell too much on the past, but Harry did have a special place in his heart
- the Dursleys would never notice, until an apologetic wizard from the ministry finally informed them
- they wouldn’t show much emotion. they still didnt want to be involved in all that nonsense, but they would feel something deep down. shock maybe
- a part of them would be relieved. they wouldnt have to deal with the magical world anymore. their lives could go back to normal
- of course, it never did go back to normal. war does that to people
- Mrs. Weasley would have lost yet another child
- Mr. Weasley would be in disbelief while comforting his wife
- Harry would be burried with his parents. finally underneath the snow with them like he wished for
- he would reunite with Sirius and Remus. even Dobby and all the other loved ones
- but they would all greet him with a sad expression. he was too young
- Ginny would be crying, but she was tough. She had been through so much from the very beginning, and with her family’s support and love she was able to move on
- she would become a succesful quidditchplayer and never quit, because she didnt have any kids to quit for
- she would visit his grave less and less. finally settle down with someone else entirely
- Teddy didnt get to have Harry as his godfather for long. meaning he didnt have anyone who could relate to his loss. but it wasnt like he ever got to know Harry, and his grandma was so full of love that he managed just fine
- the scared Death Eaters felt a weird sense of heartbreak too. they had believed in Harry, and hated him all at once
- Several students from Slytherin felt broken, cause they knew their parents were being controlled by Voldemort, and who would save their family now?
- All the horcruxes had been destroyed, so Voldemort was able to be killed by Neville.
- Harry still died for him, so Neville was protected by his love
- and Hermione was of course still determined and strong Hermione. But she was broken. she had lost so much during this war
- she had been so worried for Harry. a part of her knew he was gonna sacrifice himself, but for some reason, even her, smart and clever, hadnt really realized that he could actually really die
- she would arrange a lot of campaigns for Harry and make sure he died for a reason
- Ron would break down. he wouldnt feel any shame about it either. he would be sobbing loudly and not care what people thought of it
- but everyone would just feel bad for him
- he wasnt going to look tough and strong in front of his best friends corpse. he had already lost one of his brothers
- after voldemorts death he would run to the forbidden forrest and scream and yell into the silence, not caring what creatures he could be waking. they could come at him. he didnt care
- and at the bottom of the forrest, in between all the fallen leaves on the ground, he would find a tiny stone.
- he would be sucked into a wish. with Fred and Harry still alive. they would stand above him and smile at him
- he would remember the mirror of erised and harrys biggest wish. and a small voice would warn him
- but he wouldnt leave the forrest until Hermione finally found him passed out
- she, of course, guessed what had happened and made sure to hide the stone far away
- they had to be strong. they would live on and always be there for each other
- a couple times a year harry would be the talk of the town and old wounds would hurt again
- there would be a day to celebrate Harry Potter and this time, they were more cautious not to disturb the muggles like they did that night so many years ago, when Harry got his scar

Phan Fluff: I'm not Gay (I Promise)

‘I’m not gay!’ Dan yelled at his friend Louise after she had asked him for the, hmmm 87th time? Why he kept looking at Phil Lester like that. ‘And I don’t like Phil!’
'Then why do you go everywhere with him? You’re never more than three feet away from him for gods sake!’
'Because… because he’s my best friend!’
Louise sighed. This was the answer she always got, she was only teasing him and she knew Dan knew that, but sometimes it seemed very much like he didn’t.

Dan hated people. In fact, he didn’t particularly like being around anyone unless their name was Phil Lester. Phil was the only person that he had ever felt close to, Phil had shared all his secrets with Dan and often tried to get Dan to tell his secrets too, though he never would. Phil always found impossible to tell what Dan was thinking.

Dan knew what he was thinking though, of course, and his mind often played games with him, trying to torment him and convince him that his biggest fears would come true. This was obviously stupid so he hadn’t bothered to tell anyone, even Phil (especially Phil) his biggest fear couldn’t possibly be real because… well because.

Dan’s biggest fear was being gay.

It wasn’t that he was against gay people, for he knew that Phil was gay, he had come out to Dan years ago, in a way so casual it was almost like it didn’t phase him at all. Dan hated this about him, the way he never seemed worried about anything,

'Okay, okay. Come on we have to go to maths now’ Louise continued.
'Oh uh, is it time already?’ Dan replied absentmindedly, he was quite relived actually. Louise wasn’t in his maths so he could get away from her endless accusations that he was gay, at least for an hour.
'Hey guys!’ A voice called from down the corridor as Phil and Louise had just started walking. The voice caught up with them, it was Phil.
'Hey Phil’ Said Dan 'Louise you should really get going, you’re in a different class to us’
'Alright, alright bye then’
She winked at Dan as she said this before walking away in the opposite direction and Dan had they urge to yell that he wasn’t gay at her again.
'You’re blushing again Dan’ Phil smirked.
'I’m. No I’m not!’
Dan knew this was a lie. He turned even more scarlet as he looked into Phil’s eyes, he wasn’t sure why but he often found himself blushing when looking at Phil.
'Yeah you are, it’s okay I know it’s cause you fancy Louise’
'I, I what? No!’ Dan spluttered 'come on let’s go to class’
He regretted getting to class so quickly, in fact he wished he hadn’t got there at all, within ten minutes he felt as though he was about to fall asleep.

The rest of the day didn’t go to great either. He had narrowly scraped detention for his English homework, Louise had continued to annoy him and as a result of this so had Phil. Phil really did seem convinced that Dan loved Louise because he brought it up again when Dan was round his house later.
'So if you don’t have a crush Louise, who do you have a crush on?’
'No one’ Dan replied instantly without hesitating, seeming a little to certain.
'And I…’ he looked into Phil’s eyes again and this time he did hesitate ’ I really should get going’

He wasn’t sure what had made him want to leave, but it was probably the uncomfortable burning he’d had in his chest the whole time he’d been there, alone and with Phil. He thought of Phil’s eyes again and the burning became stronger. What was happening to him?

He went through the next day throughly confused, wondering when this feeling would go away. It didn’t. The days of confusion soon turned to weeks and showed no signs of stopping, until one day when everything became clear.

It had seemed like a fairly normal day, at least the kind of normal Dan was now used to where he felt like there were actual flames in his stomach. He had got up, got dressed, had breakfast and headed to school. Louise had taunted him at break and lunch with her usual comments, to which Dan had responded with the usual yell of 'I’m not gay!’ Though it was perhaps a little quieter today, a little more unsure.

It didn’t become clear to him until the end of the day when he was walking out with Phil, he was walking down the corridor when he felt something under his foot. By the time he realised what it was he had fallen to the floor. He hadn’t actually noticed it had happened, his mind had been somewhere else until Phil reached out his hand.
'Here’ he was giggling 'let me help’
Dan’s confused looking face looked directly up at Phil and smiled, he couldn’t help it, Phil’s face looked so happy as he giggled, his bright blue eyes glistened and his tongue poked out slightly. Dan reached for Phil’s outstretched arm and as their hands connected, so did two invisible wires in Dan’s brain and it was at that moment that he realised something. His biggest fear had come true and he was in with love his best friend.

It was strange actually to think of it as a fear in this moment, for it did not seem scary to him anymore. The burning feeling in his stomach ceased and he got up to his feet, still smiling.

He didn’t talk much on the way home. It wasn’t until they reached the safety of Phil’s room until he spoke again.
'Ph, Phil?’
'Yes? What is it, you’ve been awfully quiet today, is it Louise? Are you finally going to confess to me that you love her?’
'No!’ Dan shouted, though he didn’t seem annoyed, he could tell Phil was only teasing.
'There’s something I need to tell you’ he continued.
'You know there’s actually something I need to tell you too’
Dan paused.
'Really? That’s funny, it’s like when we used to tell each other secrets when we were younger’
'You mean when I used to tell my secrets and you’d never tell yours?’
Dan blushed guiltily.
'Anyway…’
'What did you want to tell me?’ The two said at the same time. They both burst out laughing.
'What do you think I want to tell you?’
'I don’t know’
'Why don’t we say them at the same time?’
'Well, uh okay…’
They looked straight into each other’s eyes, Dan into Phil’s bright blue ones and Phil into Dan’s chocolate brown ones.
'Ready?’
'Three. Two. One.’

'I’m in love with you’

'What?!’
The two continued to stare at each other, unable to form words. They leaned into each other and their lips, instead of forming words met, in a kiss that exploded into a warm and fulfilling embrace.

Cassian/Mor - Trauma meta

Right I’ve been a grouchy salt goblin for days and I feel the need to talk about something else so we’re going to talk about the Cassian/Mor brotp and how this one aspect I’ve been meaning to meta on for decades was actually sustained incredibly well across the two books (consistency, god bless) 

The basic outline is that Cassian has been, consistently, the most concerned for Mor’s emotional and mental well-being. He reacts the most strongly to her returning to the CoN, understands her trauma, shows concern for her, and he’s there for her when she needs someone. 

“I came in here to say I’m not going with you—to the mortal realm.”
“Because of how they treat women?”
Her rich brown eyes were bright, but calm. “When the queens come, I will be there. I wish to see if I recognize any of my long-dead friends in their faces. But … I don’t think I would be able to … behave with any others.”
“Did Rhys tell you not to go?” I said tightly.
“No,” she said, snorting. “He tried to convince me to come, actually. He said I was being ridiculous. But Cassian … he gets it. The two of us wore him down last night.”
My brows rose a bit. Why they’d gone out and gotten drunk, no doubt. To ply their High Lord with alcohol.

Obviously the fact that women in the mortal realm tend to be smothered by their husbands, married by their fathers and then used for simply breeding and rearing children is probably not something that Mor gets a huge kick out of. Rhys tries to coax her into coming with them but Cassian is on her side and argues for her staying in Velaris because he understands why it might upset her and works to protect her. 

Mor shrugged at the unasked question in my eyes. “Cassian helped Rhys get me out. Before either had the real rank to do so. For Rhys, getting caught would have been a mild punishment, perhaps a bit of social shunning. But Cassian … he risked everything to make sure I stayed out of that court. And he laughs about it, but he believes he’s a low-born bastard, not worthy of his rank or life here. He has no idea that he’s worth more than any other male I met in that court—and outside of it. Him and Azriel, that is.”

I feel like this is probably why. Cassian helped Mor get out of the CoN which means that he saw her in there when she was at her worst and her most vulnerable. He saw first hand what those people and that place did to her and he’s never forgotten it.

 I feel like…People talk a lot about Cassian’s childhood and how difficult it was but they dismiss Mor’s because she had a roof over her head and was well-off. But I think…Cassian of all people, who was abandoned, who was alone, who had to make his own way, yes…But he was also taken in by another’s kindness, understands what that is. He had a mother-figure who loved him, who showed him gentleness and love while Mor’s mother tried to sell her to a sadist right along with her father. 

I think he knows what a difference that can make, what a difference it did make to him, to have brothers, to have a mother-figure, to have a family and I think he looks at Mor’s situation and it sickens him that she never had that, never had anyone, that she spent her entire childhood living in fear without love or kindness. I think he tries to be that person for her, the one who protects her and listens to her and never dismisses her feelings they were in the CoN. 

Maybe I should have asked Mor to come. But she’d left after dinner, pale-faced and jumpy, ignoring Cassian’s attempt to speak with her. Azriel had taken to the clouds to contact his spies. He’d quietly promised the pacing Cassian to find Mor when he was done.

This is just after Rhys announces that they’re going to make an impromptu visit to the CoN in order to steal the Veritas. It bothers her. It bothers her a lot and Cassian notices that, and Az notices him and assures him that he’ll talk to her and look after her. 

Cassian’s focus had gone right to Mor, Azriel indulging in all of a glance before scanning the people around them.

[…] 

Cassian gave Keir a slow nod that told him he remembered—and would never forget—what the Steward of the Hewn City had done to his own daughter.

While their in the CoN, Cassian keeps an eye on Mor and there’s a perhaps pointed reminder that Cassian got her out and remembers exactly what Keir did to her. 

When do you head for the Hewn City tomorrow?” Cassian said to her—quietly enough that I knew it was probably time to head upstairs.
Mor scraped the bottom of her bowl. Apparently, Cassian had made the stew—it hadn’t been half-bad. “After breakfast. Before. I don’t know. Maybe in the afternoon, when they’re all just waking up.”
[…]
Mor and Cassian both stared at their empty bowls of food, softly talking for once.

Cassian and Mor have a volatile relationship, they’re both intense people and they run hot. They rub off some of that friction with one another and they bicker and they tease except for when Mor is to head off to the CoN. Cassian is deliberately quiet and gentle with her beforehand in case she’s feeling on edge about it. The two of them just talk quietly and keep each other company before she has to leave. 

“Thank you,” she said, coming over to watch me. “Visiting them always leaves me raw.”
“Cassian seemed concerned.” Another prying question.
She shrugged. “Cassian, I think, would also savor the opportunity to shred that entire court to pieces. Starting with my parents. Maybe I’ll let him do it one year as a present. Him and Azriel both. It’d make a perfect solstice gift.”

Mor is not immune to what happened to her. Mor faces the CoN for the same reasons that Rhys spent fifty years UtM, that Cassian returns to those war camps and the sneering camp lords, that Azriel tortures and spies: for her Court. She doesn’t enjoy it. She is strong but she’s not invincible and spending prolonged periods of time in the company of her abusers, completely alone but for herself, is difficult, it takes something out of her. 

So of course Cassian is concerned about her, understands her trauma and protects her (even when others are a little dismissive about what she endures. Cass has her back, always, and she can rely on him for support in cases like this…which becomes especially important as we move in acowar where Mor gets trampled under what she’s endured about 16 times and needs someone in her corner. 

“You’re working with that prick,” Cassian cut in, whatever catching-up now over, apparently. He moved to Mor’s side, a hand on her back. He shook his head at Azriel and Rhys, disgust curling his lip. “You should have spiked Eris’s fucking head to the front gates.”

[…]

Mor blinked. Cassian’s hand moved to her shoulder and squeezed.
[…]

Mor shook her head as she whispered, “He’ll still destroy it.”

Cassian slid his arm around her shoulders, his face harder than I’d ever seen it as he studied Rhys. Then Azriel. “You should have warned us.”

 This is after….The scene which I am not getting into here because we don’t have all day but Cassian very, very firmly places himself on Mor’s side here. Which no-one else does until Amren intervenes to stop the fight, and even then she agrees with both sides. Cassian is the only one who solidly has Mor’s back in this. Rhys and Azriel are united together and Feyre sides with Rhys to support him. Cass firmly sets himself against them to defend Mor because he knows exactly what she must have went through down there alone. 

He makes sure that he’s there for her, he uses touch to comfort her and he doesn’t bother to hide his disgust and his anger at what Rhys and Az have done to her. (And just…thank god for Cassian jfc because everyone else in this scene, Rhys in particular, but also Azriel, dismisses her. They talk about her like she’s a child (you should have stopped the deal, we had to keep it a secret from you) or implies that she’s selfish and oversensitive to have been affected this way. Cassian just has her back and calls Azriel and Rhys out for not warning her, not warning ‘us’ he says, because he’s firmly on her side in this) 

Mor was indeed sprawled on a couch—one wary eye on Azriel. Cassian sat beside her, holding her feet in his lap. He’d taken the spot closer to Azriel—right between them. As if he’d leap into their path if need be.

[…] Cassian now rubbing Mor’s feet. 

Yes I’ve wiffled about the feet rubbing already, it’s precious, but I think it’s also important. This is just after the meeting with the High Lords where Azriel’s sudden outburst triggered Mor. Cassian is there for her afterwards, he understands why she was so upset and he sits with her, again comforts her physically. He also puts himself between her and Az, a little bit of distance, making her feel safe and reinforcing those boundaries and that little bit of domesticity and normality to help calm her down and ground her. But the point is that he’s there for her, even if she doesn’t seem that distressed in this moment, he’s there and he’s there for her and that’s important. 

TL;DR: Cassian is the good bat that Morrigan deserves and he’s always been sensitive to her trauma, her response to her abusers and makes sure he’s there for her to protect her from triggering situations and to take care of her after she has been triggered. He supports her, he takes care of her because she is strong and she is powerful but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have scars and it doesn’t mean she doesn’t sometimes succumb. He helps her make sure that the hard days don’t win when they come for her. 

anonymous asked:

Hiya I sent you an ask about a fic about Kara dealing with body issues (I know you're swamped so please don't worry about answering it soon!) b/c I have a lot of issues with my own body and it's just getting really bad. I feel like there's this voice in my head every time I walk by a mirror that's just really fucking mean and I feel crazy. But I've been working harder at the gym for the last year and I'm hoping that'll make it stop. It just sucks b/c I can't go too often now with school and all.

Alex used to tease her about it – I hope you get fat, she joked as she passed her the last potsticker – and it didn’t feel bad when Alex did it. In fact, it was pretty funny, because it’s Alex.

It still feels funny when the woman at Noonan’s asks how she eats so many sticky buns and still looks like she does, because she answers that she’s an alien, and the woman thinks it’s a joke.

So it’s funny.

But it’s also not funny.

It’s also not funny because her muscles aren’t what her cousin’s are.

It’s also not funny because Mon-El just assumes he’ll be stronger than her because he’s a man, because he’s bigger than her, and she knows he never will be, but sometimes she’s not sure.

It’s also not funny because Alex is solidly human, and James is solidly human, and they can survive – they do survive – without any powers. Without any powers except their training and their wits and their very small, very human, very not-Kryptonian, strength.

They can do what Kara does, but they distinctly cannot fly and they distinctly cannot bench press an airplane.

And she doesn’t hate it. But she hates it.

Because if they’re that strong, and she has powers, but they can survive the same kind of work she does, how weak must she be? How much weakness, how much mediocrity – and Alex wasn’t the only one raised by parents who expected perfection – lives in her skin?

Skin that lasted when everyone else died.

A face that forces a smile when she doesn’t feel it at all.

Hands that all the social media feeds make jokes about what they can do, but really, she just wants to be able to touch someone full force, outside of the green room, without worrying about breaking them?

Because they might be better than her, tougher, more innately strong, more innately special, but she can still break them, completely by accident.

Because her body is not in her control. But it is. But it isn’t. But it is.

But it isn’t.

Mirrors remind her.

Remind her that she must really be nothing special, must really look like nothing special – must really be on just this side of ugly enough to ignore, to not even register, to be completely indifferent to – because they’re all fooled by glasses, because Leslie Willis wasn’t wrong about her awkwardness, her inability to know what to do with her hands, with her face, with her whole damn body.

Her whole damn body that can lift busses and deflect bullets, but that she can’t bring herself to love.

Leslie Willis – Livewire – saw right through her uniform, straight into her damn body.

And everyone else probably does, too.

So she changes in a rush, always.

She changes with Barry Allen-type speed. Always. Even when there’s no emergency.

No point dwelling on what no one’s ever going to notice anyway, unless the uniform catches their eye. No point dwelling on what no one’s ever going to want anyway, unless for the power trip of bedding a Super.

Except, no one sees her with her glasses, so that would never even be a thing.

She doesn’t think about Maggie.

Doesn’t think about how her sister’s girlfriend saw her.

She doesn’t think about how Cat saw her.

How James saw her (sure, he already knew. But still. Still.).

How sometimes, she sees flickers in Lena’s eyes that make her think she sees her, too.

She doesn’t think about these people, these people who see her, who would tell her without hesitation that she is worth seeing – that her body is worth seeing, worth lingering on, worth living in. Worth loving.

She hates how scattered her thoughts are. How contradictory.

How nonsensical.

How raging.

How real.

Alex notices first, that it’s getting worse lately. Kara’s hatred of her own body, of its contradictions, of its dual invisibility and hypervisibility, how everyone wants it and yet nobody notices it. How everyone wants her and yet nobody notices her.

Alex notices.

The way Kara skips quickly over the photos that include her when they’re scrolling through which pictures from game night to throw up on Instagram.

The way she jumps and squirms when Eliza is visiting and tells her how beautiful she looks.

The way she avoids mirrors like a vampire desperate to not be discovered.

“So you’ve seen it, too?” Maggie whispers to her one game night as she watches Alex squinting closely at the way Kara’s hand keeps running over her abs, like she’s trying to reassure herself of something, like she’s trying to wish herself into something, out of something.

Because apparently, Maggie notices, too.

Alex just nods, because she doesn’t bother being surprised with what close attention, with what close concern, Maggie watches over her little sister. She’ll reward her for it later. For now, she’s just scared.

Because Kara’s been particularly unsteady lately, and Kara is training harder than ever at the DEO, and she’s eating less potstickers than normal, and it’s a horrendous and scary combination.

By unspoken agreement, Alex and Maggie linger after game night. They linger after Winn and James give their hugs and leave together, still laughing about who would have won Jenga if a certain someone hadn’t faked a sneeze.

“Hey Kara, I just… I wanted to let you know that you’re gorgeous,” Maggie says casually as she washes dishes, and Kara nearly drops a plate.

“Hey, you’re dating my sister, I mean – “ She tries laughing it off, but the hue of her face and the strickennss of her eyes and the way she’s adjusting her glasses furiously give her away.

Alex smiles. “She is, and I’m standing right here, and you know what? I love that she loves you like she does. That she sees you. All of you, Kara. And she thinks what she sees is beautiful. Because it is. You are.”

Alex is talking casually, too, drying dishes and putting them away in the shelves Maggie can’t reach.

Alex might not have superhearing, but she hears her sister gulp, and she might not have mind-reading abilities, but she can all but hear the voices in Kara’s head telling her that her sister and her girlfriend are lying, they’re being nice because they feel bad for her, they’re exaggerating because they love her – for some reason she can’t possibly fathom – and more importantly, if she’s not feeling good about herself, she’ll be less effective as Supergirl, and…

Kara doesn’t know she’s started sniffling and crying until Alex’s arms are wrapped around her, until Maggie’s turned off the sink and is standing against the counter with her arms folded across her own chest, hugging herself as Alex hugs Kara, as Alex holds the body that feels worthless to Kara up from falling, up from figuring out how best to destroy itself, up from figuring out how best to dismantle itself in disguise as trying to make it better.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Alex is soothing her, and Kara tries to push her away, because she doesn’t deserve to be soothed, she didn’t mean to break, she didn’t mean to tell anyone, she didn’t mean to, but her body’s betrayed her again with its tears and its quaking, but Alex knows, and Alex has planted her feet, and Kara doesn’t put any real heart behind the push anyway, because Alex is kissing her forehead like she loves her and supporting her weight like it’s nothing and rubbing her back like it’s beautiful and whispering to her like she’ll never lose faith in her, even if Kara loses faith in herself.

“You’re perfect, Kara,” Maggie is whispering, then, because Alex is using all her energy holding her little sister up. “It’s okay if you can’t feel it now. Your sister and I will feel it enough, believe it enough, for you, until you can figure out a way to believe it yourself. Okay?”

She’s helpless in Alex’s arms and under the thrall of Maggie’s soft words, and she nods as she sniffles and sobs and sobs and sobs.

When she’s stopped shaking quite so much – when she feels like there’s no water left inside her, when she’s wept her way through her thoughts, through her deepest fears, through her stickiest shames, through her toughest contradictions – she just clings to Alex life the lifeline that she is.

She lets Alex carry her to bed and tuck her in like she used to when they were kids and she’d had another nightmare.

“Stay?” she grabs Alex’s hand after she kisses her forehead and starts to stand.

“Of course,” she says without hesitation, and Maggie leans in to kiss Alex’s cheek.

“See you in the morning, ba – ” she starts, but Kara cuts in.

“You too, Maggie?”

Maggie grins down at her girlfriend’s little sister and nods. “Anything you need, Little Danvers. Anything you need.”

A/N: Now, it’s been a while since I’ve written and posted anything (tumblr seems so dead in this department nowadays) but I have this lil Luke angsty one shot based on this sentence that was on a prompt list I reblogged some time ago:

“I’m not angry at you, just at myself…Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.”

Warning: sexual mentions and y/n insert if that counts because I know some don’t like it (but that’s literally all I do so I don’t know if I should even put this here)

Word count: 647

Masterlist


“I can’t be here anymore.”

“Wait, y/n, don’t leave!”

You turned around to Luke who held his arms high in exasperation and confusion, his sweatpants that he quickly put on, hanging low on his hipbones. You huffed, you couldn’t bear the sight of him especially not like this, not after what you had witnessed.

He didn’t feel the same.

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Best. Week. Ever.

Yeah, I know, it’s Voltron Whump Week.

I’m posting Day 1 today - because I can’t ever write enough Keith whump, apparently.

*sigh*

That poor character. 

Anyways, here you are. :-) 

I figured my story ‘Red Means Blood’ covered the whole hypothermia prompt pretty well, so here’s the link to that one if you’d like to read it:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8470732/chapters/19408216

But - back to the official prompt! :D

Day 1: Fever

For as long as Keith could remember, he’d just powered his way through any sickness or injury he got mostly through a combination of stubbornness, willpower, and what was, apparently, an appallingly high tolerance for pain.

He didn’t know so much about that last one - it wasn’t like he was immune to feeling discomfort - but he’d just always assumed that if it didn’t kill him immediately, it shouldn’t be considered a big deal.

So of course he hadn’t wanted to admit he was sick, but when he’d shown up for breakfast and the very sight of food made him nauseous, he’d known this was going to be a bad day.

He didn’t throw up, not then, but he didn’t come further into the dining room. Instead, he leaned against the wall in the hallway and tried not to breathe in too deeply - but the smell was -

Oh, no.

Before he knew it, he was on his hands and knees, throwing up whatever the food goo had been supposed to be last night, and after a few startled seconds, there were a lot of raised and concerned voices gathering near him, and he wished he’d just stayed in his room, instead of being out here, where the lights were too bright and everyone was being too loud.

Then someone was rubbing his back encouragingly, saying something about it being okay, and although it didn’t really change the fact that he’d never felt worse in his life, it helped, a little.

At some point they’d helped him back to his room, and as far as he could tell, now he was lying on his bed, wishing he didn’t feel so - awful.

He’d shut his eyes long ago, trying to block out the faint light from the hallway, but the door was still half-open, and he could hear what the others were talking about in the hallway.

“-I don’t like this, his fever’s way too high -”

“-maybe he should - sleep?”

“You’ve seen him, he can’t get to sleep, and anyway, we have to make sure he gets water soon - it’ll be even worse if he gets dehydrated -”

“-not if he’s only going to throw it up again, that’s way too hard on his system, we should see if there’s anything around here that might help bring a fever down - “

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anonymous asked:

Yeah, now I'm convinced 100% Lena is Morgana 2.0 and Rhea will be her Morgause. Only diference is that Morgana didn't have a Kara that promise to always be there and protect her and I HOPE that changes the outcome

I definitely see the road that they are trying to take with Rhea, but I am still not convinced enough to dial Lena down to Morgana 2.0. There are way more things to consider than the negative aspects that make them alike.

First, let us consider those that Morgana was against. By the time Morgause moved in on her, Morgana had already started down her dark path. She wanted Uther (a “good” character) dead. She hated a canonically good person. She had even gone as far to make an attempt on Uther’s life before changing her mind. Of course she had excellent reasons to hate him but in the battle of good vs. evil trope, she went to the wrong side. Morgause’s manipulation only continued to ease her down the path that she had already started on. Let us not forget that while Morgause did use her, Morgana went to her first. She told Morgause what she wanted and what she initially tried to do. Following Merlin’s attempt on her life, Morgause had a whole year to finish poisoning Morgana’s heart and mind against those she used to love. Morgana knew what she was, just not exactly what she was capable of.


Lena isn’t there. And I don’t think she will be. At least not anytime soon and not by Rhea’s doing. It is clear that Lena is not going to be initially aware of who Rhea is and what her intentions will be. I mean, give her some credit. I find it extremely hard to believe that Lena would be so open and welcoming to someone that approached her with an evil plan. Yes, she is vulnerable. Yes, she is going through a hard time experiencing loss. But in light of all of that, she is still quite self-aware. She knows of the dangers she faces of being just like Lex and Lillian and the fact that she not only knows that but is afraid shows that she wants to make sure it doesn’t happen. The fact that she has Kara to hold on to helps her with that. The only ones that Lena is against at the moment are her mother and Cadmus. There is not a good character that Lena is at odds with.

She is at a point in her life where she wishes to surround herself with people that can positively influence her. She doesn’t know many at the moment. So when someone approaches her under a seemingly genuine guise of friendship, reaching out when she is in need, of course she is going to be trusting. It is the perfect manipulation – taking advantage of her vulnerability and her good nature. Rhea knows how to capitalize on that. She knows what Lena is missing and can sense what she wants.

I have no doubt that Lena will have a sense of attachment. But I also have no doubt that when she learns the truth about Rhea, she will definitely feel betrayed. Because there is someone else that wanted nothing more than to use her and her resources for ills. She’s been used and hurt by a lot of people in her life so she would not be willing to help someone that did the same – especially if that person not only aims to hurt her but others as well.

We already know that Lena will be Team Supergirl and she will be working with the DEO and Lillian to take down the Daxamites so let’s guess where that will leave Mother Figure Rhea. Gone. Back on Daxam. Dead. Who knows? But her grip on Lena – also gone. It has also been stated that Kara and Lena’s friendship will continue to develop and be explored into the next season.


My final point: They have put way too much development into Lena having her lean a certain way to have her go bad at the end of the season for someone she literally just met. Lena Luthor, the woman that saved Supergirl a number of times, went out of her way to see justice done, worked late hours to help find kidnapped aliens – with a smile on her face – and single-handedly saved the aliens of National City (possibly even the world), isn’t going to turn on a dime and fight for the big bad. She just won’t. It literally goes against everything that they have put in place for her. It goes against nearly every message and moral of this season. Our girl will be just fine. Lena and Morgana are two different entities. There are negative aspects in the stories that are shared, but as Kara said:

There are too many things to consider in Lena’s favor. Kara’s influence is only one of them.

Let’s see what happens on tonight’s episode.

anonymous asked:

@ your post about Halsey. what did she do????? :O

Well, apparently that post was about how Halsey kissed a 15 year old (keep in mind that she’s 20) the other day (and apparently without her consent) [x]


Although, I can list you all the problematic things she’s done [lol, i like reading everything problematic about celebrities. but i’ve done some of my own snooping when it came to halsey. don’t take me word for word on this. i’m just a very gossipy person who loves reading about how messy celebrities can be]


although she has apologized for some stuff, that doesn’t mean that we should just sweep it under the rug and pretend it never existed. Awareness is important (in my opinion, it is) in order to acknowledge what was problematic and move on

  • created songs that shamed/slut-shamed Taylor Swift [receipts
    • this is what launched her career. y i k e s
  • she used a t slur on twitter and made fun of chris brown/rihanna abusive relationship on twitter (although she has apologized and deleted the tweets since)
  • made a racist problematic comment about edit: toward (arianna grande (apparently, and has deleted it since. not sure about this one. can’t find receipts for it.) [x
  • sent her minions fans to attack a guy on twitter when he pointed out that she lied about being homeless at the age of 16-17 (or some young age). she apparently left home to be with a way much older dude, and then stretched the story into a sob story about how she was a struggling homeless girl  (not sure if this is true or not, but i’ve seen this appear on various websites).
  • she lashes out a lot on social media and plays the victim card a lot (as i’ve come to learn) just to get fans to be sympathetic toward her. I’m not saying that behavior is wrong, it just seems flat out manipulative. She played the victim card a lot and tried to shift the blame onto something else.
  • and she made an insensitive comment relating to a school massacre [x] which she, surprise (deadpan tone), deleted.
    • instances where i’ve seen her lashing out:
      • facebook. when justin bieber’s album came out, apparently she received hate? (or the album did). All i know was that she turned to facebook and wrote something that came off defensive/petty/mean.
        • let’s be real here, if you go on the youtube video of the song she colab’d with justin, you’ll see that she’s the one getting praises. i have yet to see hate.
      • that fight with maggie stiefvater (who is an author of the raven cycle. she, on her own rights, is a problematic author (but i’m not going to get into that). 
        • that twitter fight was just embarrassing in my opinion and you can find receipts of it online.
        • i think both of them are at faults and i refuse to take sides because the entire feud between the two of them were so unnecessary and could have been prevented had the two of them decided to act their age
      • her getting angry that radio stations weren’t playing her songs and lashing out about it at a concert (which is kind of funny when i heard her song pop up on an actual radio right when i watched that video)
      • the one time she lashed out at the guy who questioned why she would say she was homeless.
      • the time people called her out on making fun of taylor, arianna–only for her to say that she loved them (and that they were pretty much reaching for tweets that made her look bad)
      • she’ll lash out if you bring up the haylor songs that launched her career

the problem is that most of her stans/fans keep saying to “give her a break” because she’s “unproblematic” and has “learned a lot since” and that “she was only a kid when she said those things”

but the issue is that half of the problematic things she’s done/said/etc didn’t happen when she was actually a kid. these things happened while she was at a certain age where people generally are more aware.

another problem is that she never really acknowledges her fault, instead always shifting the blame on “not knowing better” and that “she was young at the time” or something else. she’s always shifting the blame.


i honestly wish i knew more, but these are the things i’ve collected over reading websites, youtube, facebook, etc. i don’t hate her. i don’t like her either. her music is okay, but i really do think her fans are kind of toxic (especially with their hive mentality that she’s “such an unproblematic person”). 

I don’t like how half of tumblr stans her because they’re convinced she’s a “PoC feminist”. Honestly, they’re reaching if they think she’s a good feminist role model. 

Every time she does something / says something that’s feminist and positive, she always does something problematic as well. It’s just frustrating that her stans only acknowledge the good things while ignoring the bad/problematic things she’s said/done and then attacks you if you dare bring up how problematic/petty/bad halsey behaved.

Edit: she’s also made a racist tweet about asians, which she has also deleted. 

My New York Comic Con Experience (Or the time I called in Gay to Class)

Whew. Thank you all for your well wishes and excited messages the other day, cheering me on as I traveled to the NY panel! I was a mess but talking with you all helped keep me sane for the most part. I have So. Much. To. Tell. You! 

(Prepare for a really long, rambling mess of a post, but by now you all are used to the things I upload on this blog, haha! :p) 

So, here goes. I spent the night before packing for the day, and I suppose I over-packed, bringing two water bottles and a whole sandwich for lunch. And a packet of gum. And like, a dozen protein bars. I read online that it’s always good to bring your own food to these types of conventions because it can get EXPENSIVE. Not to mention, for those of you who have social anxiety like I do, waiting on line with a bunch of other hungry people is nerve-wracking. But at least I got to share the protein bars with my traveling buddies, so that was nice. 

I’m only ten minutes away from New York by train, and a round trip ticket costs $8 dollars. I’m glad I took the train and not the bus because when I looked out onto the main route to NY, there was bumper-to-bumper traffic. Having been born in New Jersey I’m used to this, but I know for someone who came from the South it would have been hard to handle. Pro tip for traveling on trains: always ask the train conductor before getting on if it goes to your appropriate stop. Beware of express trains, sometimes they completely miss it. Also, don’t stand in the middle of the hallway between the door and the next car while the train is moving, it’s fucking terrifying bro. 

So there I am, ready to go with my fully-packed backpack and on my way. I pull out my phone and decided to tell you all that I’m almost there, typing “New York Comic Con: Or Bust!!!” and guess who fucking reblogs it. @hotladypants had me shook for the entire ride. It was great. 

It wasn’t hard to find my way to the Javits Center because I just followed the crowd of people in cosplay, and made it there on time. Whenever you go to a big convention, don’t be shy to ask the people in uniform questions. They’ll help you if you’re feeling lost/overwhelmed. There’s also a quiet room at Comic Con to hang out in if you need a break–which is smart. I was told that it’s going to be an hour wait before the Javits Center opens so I relaxed on line, talking with the people around me and admiring how cool everyone looked in their costumes. A family of Pikachu’s walked past, Max and Chloe from Life is Strange blessed me with their awesome selves, a young family from Texas dressed up as Star Wars characters (the mom was Rey, the kid was Yoda, and the grandmother was Kylo-Ren, I WISH I TOOK PICTURES) and a couple dressed up as workers from the company Cinnabon. But I had a good time waiting. The kid taught me about Star Wars, when I painfully admitted that I haven’t seen a single movie, but he was gracious and told me what a lightsaber was. 

When I finally made it onto the main floor, my mouth dropped open at the GIANT ASS RWBY POSTER HANGING. Like, holy fuck. it looked glorious. I then contacted @nootvanlis and asked her if she was there, and I excitedly hurried down to 1A24, where the panel was, and met her! I can confirm she’s a beautiful person and so nice. I introduced myself as “mynameisnikki” and she recognized me, haha! :’) Hanging out with her was @princesshollis, who is also super rad. I had a fun time talking with them both and we all shared stories as we waited to get in. 

There were two panels going on before Carmilla’s, so I don’t remember much of them. I took a cat nap. Is anyone a fan of the movie Die Hard? :/ 

When creampuffs started to pour into the room I started to grow nervous and excited. There was so much energy and love in that room and I couldn’t help but look at everyone with awe, struggling to believe that like, holy fuck… this was going to happen. This was happening. I made it

Why didn’t anyone tell me that your heart was going to stop when you saw Elise and Natasha for the first time? That you felt like you couldn’t breathe? That you see your life flashing before your eyes, you are suddenly blinded by how beautiful they both are? I swear I fell over on my chair the moment they ran in, holding hands, and I was already crying. Did anyone else notice the halo surrounding them both or was it just me? I was probably so hyped I was hallucinating. 

I was sitting in the front row next to Gabi and Linds, and I didn’t fully register that I was in Natasha’s direct line of sight until AFTER the panel. I was so in shock by both of their beauty that I couldn’t remember where I was. Or how to speak English. They usually have that affect on people, right? Like I’m not the only one? 

I wish someone told me that trying to stay calm during a panel was easier said than done. My hand had a mind of its own, shaking like a fucking leaf, and I felt bad because I needed someone to hold it the whole time! I now finally know what everyone’s talking about when Elise and Natasha have their “moment”. The way they look at each other. Smile at each other, like no one else is in the room. “Oh, there are other people here.” Says Natasha, and the noise that came out of my mouth WAS NOT HUMAN. MY EYES WERE BLESSED. 

Another wild thing that happened was I think Natasha noticed I was on the verge of either falling onto the floor and dying or crying of laughter, and I caught her staring at me for a solid two minutes. Feebly, I gave her a weak smile and something between a wave/thumb up, AND SHE FUCKING WIGGLED HER EYEBROWS AT ME. LIKE BABE. YOU KNOW I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. GAAAH. 

When it came time for audience Q and A’s, I’m not sure what came over me. All I knew was that I wanted to say something, anything, and if I didn’t I would never forgive myself. So I ran over to the mic so fast, which I am certain I time traveled because no way do I ever move that fast in real life. I’m glad I had my folder in my hand and I was ready to give them my present. 

There was so much I wanted to say. I wanted to say, “Thank you, Carmilla. Thank you for giving me a home.” BUT I ENDED UP RAMBLING ABOUT HOW GAY I AM LIKE AN IDIOT. WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME THAT ASKING A QUESTION TO YOUR FAVORITE HUMANS WAS LIKE GOING FOR A JOB INTERVIEW??? Oh my god, now all of you are going to see how I fumbled at the panel. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to take up so much time, honest! I’m just glad I remembered about the gift I wanted to give and anxiously blurted out, “I have something to give you!” And Elise excited said, “Yeah, we’ll take your art!” I think I peed myself. And I think I repeatedly said, “Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m going to cry.” But I don’t remember, it’s all just a giant blur in my head right now XD Natasha was so excited to have it, guys. She told me, “I’m looking forward to reading this. Thank you so much! Come to the meet and greet later so I can talk to you, okay?” 

…. 

….. 

Natasha is a fucking gift. A GIFT. 

I walk back to my seat in a daze, and everyone is cheering, and I just turn to Gabi and repeatedly asked, “WHAT JUST HAPPENED?”  and, “DID I JUST DO THAT.” 

I was a mess. A hot, blubbering mess. But it was… oh my god, it was honestly the greatest experience of my life. I waited on line for the meet n greet, still an emotional mess, but everyone was so warm and welcoming and comforted me, which I appreciated so much! I felt like I seemed more calm and collected when I finally went up to them and said, “I’M SORRY I DON’T HAVE A COHERENT MIND RIGHT NOW BUT I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH SORRY FOR BEING A MESS BEFORE.” And Natasha assured me that everything was fine, and she said, “Thank you for sharing your story with us. That was very brave.” And you want to know what I fucking said? 

“Yeah, no. That’s totally cool man.” 

…. *repeatedly slaps head* 

If anyone needs me, I’ll be over in the corner. Crying in gay. Wearing my pride flag. Wishing that I could relive yesterday over and over. Thank you, Carmilla. Thank you for everything

I Might Be Okay But I’m Not Fine At All

A/N: An anon request for a Spencer x Reader where she feels sad because she doesn’t have anyone. I decided to make it a romantic need, but she and Spencer aren’t involved; he’s her friend. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @hogwarts-konoha

Warnings: Depression

                                                             —–

As you walked home from work at night, you couldn’t help but pay attention as couple after couple walked hand-in-hand, smiles playing across their faces as they looked at each other - nothing else mattering but the feel of their skin, the warmth of their smile and the sparkles in their eyes. 

It had been so long since you’d felt that. Actually, if you thought about it, you weren’t sure whether you ever really had that. One ex-boyfriend, ended up being more of a friend than a lover. And here you were surrounded by them. The couple across the street walked steadfastly to the park about a block behind you. The smiles on their faces lit up the block despite the fact that the sun had set hours earlier. Her head was resting on his shoulders and though her hand hung limply in his, it was perfect and relaxed. Meanwhile, you’d barely ever felt anything resembling such peace and found yourself wondering if you ever would. Before walking in the door, you needed to know someone would be there, you couldn’t be alone, so you texted Spencer and asked him if he’d stay over tonight. Your closest friend in the world - he was the only one you trusted enough to open up to.

“Sure, I’ll be there in about 30 minutes. Are you okay?”

“Just having a really bad day and I don’t want to be alone.”

“I’ll be over as soon as possible. Love you.”

“Love you, too, Spencer.”

With the faintest hint of a smile, you placed the phone back in your pocket and opened the door to your apartment, flopping down on the couch and staring off into the distance until Spencer knocked. He had a key, so you told him to let himself in. “Hey, Y/N,” he said worriedly, sitting next to you on the couch and attempting to turn your face toward him. “Are you okay?”

“Okay? Yea, but I’m not fine…you know?” You asked, not looking at him and instead staring wistfully out the window. 

Spencer leaned back into the cushions, gathering you to him, your head lying on his chest. His breathing seemed to calm you a bit, so when Spencer asked you what was wrong, you felt okay answering, rather than being pissed off by the question. “I can’t help but think like I’ll never have someone,” you said softly, listening to his steady heartbeat rather than tuning into the frantic beating of your own.

“What brought this on?”

The tears in your eyes started to sting. You pushed off of Spencer so that hopefully you wouldn’t get his shirt wet, but it was too late - a few drops of liquid already splashed onto his work shirt. “My walk home. My job. Everything. I just walk around and see people walking together and looking at each other like they are the only ones to exist in the word. Like they’re their everything. And I’ve never had that. I find myself thinking that maybe the universe doesn’t have that planned for me and it makes me sad.”

“I know how you feel,” he said. “Sometimes I get that way too. It helps if I break it down a bit though.”

“Of course you do,” you chuckled softly. “How do you break it down?”

“Well, think of it this way. Whenever you pass someone, a couple, a group, whoever it may be on the street, you’re catching a glimpse into their life, not the whole picture. That person with a smile on their face could be hiding a relationship gone bad. The couple holding hands could’ve just gotten into a fight and now they’re forcing themselves to put on a face for others to see. You just don’t know.”

You hadn’t really thought of it that way, always just assuming that everyone else had this amazing life that you’d never hope to reach, but Spencer was right - that might not always be the case. “It’s just hard to rewire your brain,” you whispered as you sat up and hugged your knees to your chest. You turned toward Spencer and saw the sorrow in his eyes. As your best friend, he hated it when you felt this way. Anyone that scooped you up would be the luckiest person on earth, but he understood how hard it was for someone to believe it when they hadn’t for long. “And because I can’t rewire it, I can’t help but look at people and see the life I don’t have, which makes me feel like this, and then I circle around again. It’s a vicious cycle of being okay, but not being okay.” Spencer sat across from you and allowed you to ramble. “I’m alive. I would never do something that would make not alive, but just because you’re alive doesn’t mean you’re actually living, and that’s kind of where I am right now, Spence.”

When you looked up, you saw his eyes drowning in tears. Spencer knew you the most out of anyone you knew, but you hadn’t been that open with anyone before. “I never knew you felt like that,” he said, his lip quivering as his voice cracked and he reached across the couch to grab your hand. “It’s going to take a while to rewire your brain. I get that, but dating doesn’t equal living. You have a family that loves you, a job you enjoy, friends that love you,” he said as he grabbed your hand and flashed you a cheesy smile. “Those things can equal living too. And if you want a relationship, then one day you’ll find it. We have more control over our own lives that the world would have you believe. Again, I know that it’ll take a while for you to rewire everything, but will you please talk to me whenever you feel this way? The idea of you walking around, feeling like you’re coasting and not truly living…it kills me. You deserve to be more than okay.”

“Thanks, Spence,” you said. “I’ll talk to you, I promise. I know it’ll take a while, I just wish it would move more quickly. I’m ready to be okay - with or without someone.”

anonymous asked:

you say your wish fulfillment is loaning out your awesome parents can you talk about how your parents are awesome? (i'm a new parent so i need to knowww)

Aw congrats on your baby!

It’s a little hard for me to verbalize just what about their parenting was (and is) so good, because it’s the world I’ve always known and sometimes their genius is only visible to me when I hear horror stories about other people’s parents and think anew, holy moly did I luck out.

A few years ago, my mom told me, “Yeah, so one of my co-workers asked me about my plans this weekend and I told her, ‘I’m going on a trip with my family!’ and she said, ‘Haha, I’m so sorry.’” My mom, recounting this story, made a disgusted, disbelieving face. Why would a random acquaintance assume my mom didn’t like her own children? Why would this feel like an okay thing to say out loud, even jokingly? To my mom’s way of thinking, if you raise people you don’t like, that says a lot more about you than it does about them.

I think this is a lot of it in a nutshell. “Of course I like my children. Of course I respect them. Of course I want to spend time with them.”

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anonymous asked:

How do you manage to write everything I'm thinking abt haha ?! 'specially abt hook killing emma's grand father, I've always wanted to give hook a chance (i'm a fan of redemptions) but after that scene I just couldn't anymore, it was like a slap, a wake up call of sorts ? 'not everyone is redeemable' is what snow said !

They are really trying to make the audience lose sympathy, but subtly. Rationally we can follow the reasonings we are offered. “Yes, it’s true, it was a long time ago, I guess we already knew he was a murderer.” Yet subconsciously that won’t sit well with us because of this recent introduction.

I actually wouldn’t mind a real redemption arc for Hook. A karmic one, like Regina’s redemption. One that actually makes the point that you cannot make someone else responsible for your happy ending without consequences. I don’t mind villains or flawed characters and I don’t like pointless suffering. What I do like in stories are lessons that make sense, that are relevant to the character.

If I want him to lose Emma, it’s because when he first saw her, he reduced her to an object - which lasted for a very long time. He didn’t take no for an answer, disregarded her defensive body language completely, sexually assaulted her - which, yes, I think threatening to rape a woman is different from challenging her in a sword fight of equals. If you use gender-related violence to make your villain more villainous, you need to address that gender-related violence in said villain’s redemption. Instead he relentlessly went for the girl and essentially got rewarded for it. I want it to be revealed Emma used him just as much as a quick fix to make up for lost time with her parents. That is a punishment that fits the crime. To be used just because you look half decent and are the right gender for the task. Losing Emma could be the start of his real redemption. Provided he sees that she did to him what he set out to do to her from the beginning. There are plenty of signs he still sees her as a possession and not as a person. 

He goes far to protect her and save her. He traded his ship for her and somehow it feels like she now is his new ship. He was protective of the object as well. That doesn’t prove partnership, it proves ownership and a strong sense of entitlement. He doesn’t seem to see her as a person with feelings and needs beyond what matters to him. Loving her also means taking into account that what happens to the people she loves will affect her too. Keeping her safe, means keeping her family safe. Even just in the last episode. Snow embraced him completely, David has just forgiven him right away after finding out he killed his father. Meanwhile he can’t even hide his childish frustration about being interrupted when he was about to have sex? Emma is making it clear what her wishes are. She doesn’t want Snow to feel uncomfortable in that moment. Of course Snow was overstepping. And they should have a conversation about boundaries… but he cannot show compassion for a minor infringement towards the people who have shown him so much compassion and trust? I’d be embarrassed for myself and on my partner’s behalf if they needed to make it that clear to my mother how important sex was to them by displaying their anger and getting a shower to cool off.

If we then get to see what Hook really needs to confront to become a profoundly changed person, then it becomes more obvious what went wrong the first time around. They never let him hit rock bottom in a way that felt relevant to his crimes. His arc was written to show how trying to save people - having a Savior complex and making yourself responsible for others’ happy endings - doesn’t work in the long run. You take people’s learning and growth away by not letting them change their own behavior in response to the negative consequences.

I’d be okay with Hook getting a real redemption arc that deals with his sexism and the underlying issues that caused them. However, I also think it should initially be far away from women and he should definitely not end up with Emma after everything they’ve been through because that would be a horrible message. So I’m not sure if Snow’s words apply to Hook and although I can’t say I’d be terribly upset if they were about him… I’d also gain hope from seeing a man realize women are people.

At the GRAYGROUND

Originally posted by 50shadesofgraylee

Simon Dominic request

Genre: soft smut idk

Word Count: 4,156 words (holy shit I wrote this much?) 😭

The place where magic takes place was in Gray’s very studio. The GRAYGROUND was your favourite place to visit within AOMG’s building. This was due to the the ambience it brought, the soothing atmosphere, the music lightly playing though the speakers making you feel things and the perfect place to make love. Yes you read that right. You were a bit of a thrill seeker, I wouldn’t say exhibitionist, more of an introverted version of it I guess.

Kiseok also known as Simon Dominic is a popular character with women. On sets, on shoots and basically around the world. His appearance, deep voice and rapping with sensual verses had people melting whenever they saw him. Since his arrival at AOMG, the re-birth of him was successful and females despised your position. Oh that’s right, you fit in here somewhere. (Y/N) formerly known as AOMG’s makeup artist.

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A Road Paved In Gold (2/?)

Summary: In Steve’s memory, the seconds, and minutes, and hours of that day blurred into one endless moment of aching uncertainty and bone-chilling fear, but if his calculations were correct, his watch stopped ticking at the exact moment when his plane had gone up in flames.

Steve Trevor was never meant to die in the sky above Belgium for the reasons much bigger than he could ever imagine. Therefore, he didn’t. However, surviving came with a price he didn’t ask for. The price that Diana had to pay, as well.

A/N: It wasn’t meant to take me a month to update it, sorry! I was a bit caught up on writing pt.3 to post this one. Oooops! I’ll do my best to keep updates more regular :) Also thank you so very much for the overwhelming feedback on the first part! You guys rock! Hope you’ll enjoy the rest of it as much :) 

AO3  |  Fanfiction.net


The healing was slow, his bones taking their sweet time to grow back together and his cuts and bruises lingering as a reminder of the last battle that changed the course of history and turned his life upside down, although not necessarily in that order. Steve had no answers still, and no one to ask the questions crowding his mind. Chief told him that the pieces of his plane were scattered over several square miles of fields and forests. He was not wearing a parachute. He was stark in the epicenter of an explosion that, had it happened on the ground, would have killed everything in a dozen-mile radius. He should have evaporated, and there was no logic and science to explain why he was still breathing.

More often than not, Steve chose not to think about it.

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all the spark to set this place on fire - [sansa x theon]

for the lovely @chochxng who requested a modern theonsa drabble as her guessing game prize! i hope you like it

“C’mon, Sansa, it’s your turn,” Jeyne urged, pushing her towards the bottle in the middle of the circle. Sansa giggled nervously and reached for it, watching as it went in circles and started to slow down. Anticipation rose in her chest and she kept her eyes focused on the bottle until it came to a stop. She looked up into the face of who it was pointing at and he gave her one of his half-drunk smirks. It was just her fucking luck that of all the people playing she would get Theon Greyjoy. 

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Trans Alec Headcanons
  • So Alec was born Alecia or Alyssa or Alexis or Alexia (pick your poison, i’m not original and it doesn’t matter) but from a pretty young age he hated the sound of his name
  • so he shortened it to Alec
  • and got really angry when people called him by his birth name
  • he didn’t know why
  • it just made him feel the same as nails on a chalkboard
  • Izzy picked up on it almost as soon as she was old enough to think abstractly (that is to say, forming thoughts of her own instead of just responses to things)
  • she was the first to ask Alec if he wished he was a boy
  • it takes him by surprise and he doesn’t answer right away
  • in fact its not until a few years later,right before puberty starts, that he realizes that’s exactly what he wants
  • he takes it up with Maryse, who vetoes it outright
  • that upsets him, a lot 
  • but Izzy is right there to comfort him and tell him that she’ll take it up with their mom
  • Jace is immediately on board with having a brother
  • and he knows what it’s like to be seen as something you’re not and hate it
  • so between the three of them, Alec is a boy, whatever their parents say be damned
  • After a lot of self-education and a lot of reflection (and a lot of shame from overhearing how easily Izzy and Jace come around and how happy it makes Alec) Maryse changes her mind
  • Robert takes a lot more time to convince
  • but he does, eventually and begrudgingly, come around
  • Alec is super self-conscious even as he transitions
  • he can’t help but feel people will see right through him
  • but Magnus just kind of assumes Alec’s full name is Alexander when they meet
  • which makes Alec ecstatic because by the angel he passes
  • he literally doesn’t shut up a bout it for days
  • and Izzy and Jace are both so excited for him
  • and Maryse has never seen her son so happy
  • and even Robert admits Alec carries himself differently now than he ever has before
  • and Max doesn’t understand what the big deal is because Alec has always just been his brother 
  • and doesn’t get what’s special about a warlock guessing his name
  • when things start getting serious with Magnus, the confidence starts to waver
  • Izzy notices it and understands entirely
  • she encourage him to only tell Magnus when he’s ready
  • assures him that he can trust Magnus
  • Jace vows that he will not rest until he finds a way to murder a warlock if Magnus hurts Alec
  • one night, as Magnus is trying to find a drink that Alec likes (he’s determined to find at least one) the topic comes up
  • Magnus is talking about the rare mundane children he’s taken in over the years
  • including one particular little girl who was on the streets half beaten to death by her parents for being queer
  • and Alec is slightly tipsy (even though he hasn’t finished a single drink yet)
  • and maybe that helps his courage
  • or maybe he just can’t hold it in anymore
  • but he tells Magnus in the most blunt, most Alec way possible that he is trans
  •  and Magnus is stunned into silence for several moments
  • during which Alec starts to regret opening his mouth
  • and when Magnus finally clears his throat, Alec is sure it’s to tell him to get out or something equally as awful
  • but instead Magnus thanks him????
  • for trusting him with that information
  • he’s honored that Alec feels free to share that with him no matter how short of a time they’ve known each other
  • and Alec asks if this changes how Magnus sees him
  • and it does not (”why would it?”)
  • and Alec is crying
  • he feels so lucky
  • and he laughs through the tears because Izzy was right (of course)
  • and he should’ve known all along that Magnus loved him for who he was not what he was
  • the next day when he tells his siblings, Izzy is all like “I told you so”
  • and Jace is like “good cuz it turns out it’s really hard to kill a warlock”

(feel free to add on)

Word Count: 935

Triggers: None I don’t think?

Requested by Anonymous

You hadn’t seen Parker in years. Not since you were both around 8, and she had been whisked back off to the orphanage. That was the worst year of your life. Two of your best friends were gone. It was hard to lose Luke, and it was even worse that the driver turned out to be drunk; but it was harder to lose Parker. Mostly because you knew that she was still out there, somewhere, hurting from the loss of not just Luke, but of her foster parents, the friends she had made in their little cul-de-sac that summer. She was going to go to school without friends, without a home. It was awful.

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Tsubasa Chronicle Month: Day 8 - Oaths and Vows

“I will…I made a promise to protect Sakura”

The words are almost too strong and determined for the tiny, damaged boy who says them. His eyes are full of desperation and fear; but also with the shine of stubborn determination, born of hope of saving the most important person in his life, even if that means giving up his happiness and family. The witch will grant his wish, knowing it’s just the start of an even bigger, painful road; but her job is never to intervene, but to give people what they want. And hopefully, if all goes well, these choices will lead to a brighter future for both of these children. 

The seal meant to end the princess’ life, inevitably, activates. And the boy feels his oath being broken. From desperation comes a wish: to turn back time. The price is high, the consequences catastrophic, and all the pain and despair he will be accountable for, too much. They can’t be together, not yet, maybe not ever. But he still wishes, because he has a promise, because he won’t let her die.

 *******

“Even if you were able to return all her memories back, the part about you won’t return. That’s your price”

“I will go…I won’t let Sakura die!”

The boy is not the one who came to the witch’s shop years ago and at the same time he is. He’s a clone of that determined little boy, and it shows in the way he clings to the princess’ body, how it just takes one look at her face to make the choice that will shatter his own happiness. His oath mirrors the one made by his real self, in a sad repetition of fate.

“Who are you?”  The question, the eyes who look at him like an stranger, feel like knives straight to his heart. But he smiles nevertheless; because she’s alive, but lost and with her soul missing, only a shadow of the person he knew; and she needs him to be strong right now. The price for his promise is too high once again, they’re still together in body, but it feels like they’re miles apart.

*******

“I will surely be punished, because I did all this….but even so, I want to get back the heart you’ve lost, Syaoran-kun”

Her body is soaked in blood, her damaged leg sends painful aches all over her body, and her feet ache for the acid she walking on. But she does not falter in her resolve. No matter the price, nor than doing so will only advance the plans of that man further, but she owes him that, and she will get him back.

His sword is on her chest the next time they meet. She’s melting away and her confession is being cut down again. But his eyes look at her with pure horror and fear. It hurt to see him like this, but at the very least, those are not the eyes of a person without a heart. She’s been successful in the worst way possible. He holds him until they depart again, hoping he will see him again, in much better circumstances.

*******

“With this power, I swear I will find the way out of this loop”

“Until we can meet again, I will be waiting”

This time, it was a shared vow the one who put them apart. For the sake of their other selves, they once again sacrificed the lives they had made. They will spend a long time in this vessel, so close and yet unable to even touch, all for the sake of a still unknown outcome.  A terrible price to be paid again, but for their son, for their friends from their other life and to stop that man from destroying everything they love, they will bear being separated again.

(And they know, when Fei Wang disappears, they will too. Though, their other selves would do something about that, they’re sure. They’re two versions of the same people, after all)

*****

“We will definitely meet again”

Their journey together had ended, and a new one began. In order to keep existing without altering the time and space, both of the existences that should not exist paid. To always move forward, and never stay in one place was her most precious person’s price. He will use that journey to try and give their other selves new bodies to reborn to. And she knows if she goes with him, it would just be more painful. So he starts his travel, luckily, with the rest of their companions beside him (and for that she will forever be grateful). They give each other their true names, and they make a final promise.

Hopefully, even if they can’t be together forever, they will wait for each other and cherish the moments when they meet. That’s their final vow, and they swear this one will be as free of pain as possible.