i wish men

The change

Originally posted by whenimaunicorn

GIF not mine

Ivar  x Reader

Warnings: none

Request: Hi ! Could you maybe do a ‘The Duff’ kinda scenario fic with reader x jealous Ivar or Ubbe (you pick)? I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie or read the book but it’s my fave haha. Hope that’s okay! Thank you so much! X

A/n : Dear anon, I hope you enjoy it. Sorry if I disappointed you and this is utter shit but I did my best.

Tags: @cherrytrinkets

I was a shield maiden or at the least that’s what I thought I was. I was not good at it but my friends were. They were just like man in battle while I was losing in front of 14 years old boys. I was nor ashamed by it, I was good at other things too but I just wished that men will talk to me not only to ask me about them. I knew by now that they were keeping me around just for them to seem more powerful, I knew that I was their weapon to bring men in their bed. I did not liked the fact that they were using me so they could look better and I did not appreciated that I had to find who I was for them from Ivar, the prince of Kattegat and the most probably the next king.

You were just so bored of people pitying you and talking behind your back about how a shame and a failure you where. You knew that nobody wanted to train you, they didn’t saw the point in it but if you could offer something in exchange it will be okay. You thought about all the possibilities and when it finally hit you the disappointment settled fast, what could you offer to someone that had everything, but still you needed to try, you were bored of being underestimated and the last one to be chosen at anything.


“I want you to teach me how to fight!” you demanded sitting in front of him, Ivar was looking at you with his blue piercing eyes, he started to laugh when he heard your demand.

“And what could you give me, what could you offer to me in exchange of teaching you fight and war?” you bit your lip, looking at him, trying to decide if you did a good choice or not, he studied your lips as you were still bitting the lower one.

“I can teach you how to control your anger.” Ivar titled his head to the side, playing with the knife in his hands and then he smirked and you knew that the deal was made.


“Attack!” you ran to him trying to get a shot but in the next second you were on the ground without a weapon to protect yourself with. “We have got a long road ahead of us.” he sighed letting you get up so you could attack him again.

All that day you tried all over again to make him fall from the damn log but every time he put you down. 

“Not bad for the first day, and by this I mean that it was the worst defense that I ever saw.” you sighed and let your head down, you were never going to make it. “You will get better, you just need to pay attention to what I say to you. Maybe if I would bring Hvitserk here it will help you to learn faster.” your cheeks turned pitch red and you tried not to look at Ivar but he already saw the look on your face. “You like him, don’t you?” you slowly nodded making him laugh. “I’ll help you with him, after I teach you how to fight,  I don’t want you to be the first who dies of the battle field.” 


Your days were rough, training with Ivar wasn’t easy and he was not going slow on you, he was speeding up your training to motivate you to concentrate and work more. This is how after 2 weeks you were already on the training field kicking the asses of your best friends. Even after that your training with Ivar didn’t stopped, you would meet daily and fight each other, then you would help him with his demons and problems.

Slowly Hvitserk noticed you and he started to spend time around you more but you weren’t sure that you wanted him anymore. When he kissed you it felt good but only because you imagined it was Ivar the one who was touching you, then your broke apart and saw the anger and disappointment on Ivar’s face and you knew that he wanted you too. Only if you would be able to gather the strength and tell him but you couldn’t. Now you had to see him kissing that slave Margrethe and it only made you hurt. You didn’t went to train with him anymore, you didn’t talked with him and you totally avoided him.

A few weeks had passed bit you couldn’t avoid him anymore, it was the night of the feast and nobody could miss, you where there, alone, trying to hide in the shadows but you couldn’t go unnoticed. Everybody was giving attention to you because of your major change in battle. You locked eyes with Ivar for a second but Margrethe pulled him to her, trying to kiss him but he pushed her away.Ivar crawled to you and sat on a log next to yours. You looked him in the eye and he didn’t wasted a second before pulling you in his lap and kissing the breath out of you.

Tumblr: Ha ha, it’s so easy to make a joke that doesn’t offend anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings.

Tumblr: I wish all white men would burn to death and that the fire would start at their penises.

Tumblr: See? Hilarious!

I have to say it, I can’t hold it in any longer.

I think men who wear makeup are sexy.

Doesn’t matter if it’s full-makeup or just a light foundation with a touch of mascara.

I wish we didn’t shame men for wearing it.

In light of recent events I’d just like to remind you all the Maximoff Twins were Jewish and Romani. They were horrendously white-washed in MCU and their heritage was taken from them as a way to get round the mutant copyright problem. I love the characters but what Marvel studios did was unacceptable. They are not and will never be part of Hydra. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is Jewish which helps but it is never acknowledged as it should be. 

Furthermore Magneto being part of Hydra is absolutely disgusting. If you were to ask me to name a Jewish character he’s the first one I think of and I’m sure that’s the same for many of our followers. Whilst Cap was a hero to stand up to the Nazis, Erik Lehnsherr is a vivid reminder of our history and his pain and anguish represents what so many humans went through at the hands of the Nazis. We said no to hydra cap. Now lets say no to hydra magneto. 

TERFs: *spread messages that actively contribute to a climate that’s dangerous for trans people and, more particularly, for trans women*

Trans people: *get angry*

TERFs: SEE?!? TYPICAL MALE VIOLENCE! MISOGYNY! LESBOPHOBIA!