Gimme dat sweet, blood soaked petal filled angst
ARE YOU SURE THOUGH
CAUSE I CAN WRITE YOU MORE ANGST XD
(this takes place at the beginning of Killua’s Hanahaki- so, before the fic even starts pretty much. This is the first time Killua coughs up blood with the petals.)
Killua stared at the petals in his hands, chest heaving.
There were more of them this time than he had ever seen so far. He counted seven petals in total, bright sun-golds mixed with brick reds and soft oranges- all covered in a thin layer of scarlet blood.
He ran his tongue across the back of his teeth and grimaced at the sharp tang of iron. Yeah, that was definitely blood. He could tell just from the raw burning in the back of his throat where he was cut open, too. He wouldn’t be able to swallow anything without it hurting for the rest of the day.
Who knew love could be so painful?
One by one, Killua let the petals fall into garbage tin besides his sink. There was nothing pretty in the way they dropped through the air, weighed down by the blood coating their velvety surface. There was nothing pretty about the blood that still clung to his hands and under his nails, or the red staining on his teeth when he tried to smile at his reflection in the mirror.
Death wasn’t pretty, Killua thought to himself grimly as he washed his hands. It took him three washes to get his hands back to their regular pigment.
Gon, on the other hand, with his bursting grins and bronze freckles, was probably the most beautiful thing Killua had ever seen in his life.
Killua’s eyes fluttered shut and for a brief moment he entertained the idea of Gon’s strong arms wrapping around Killua’s waist. He pictured Gon’s cheek pressed against his pale shoulder, warm breath brushing against his skin.
And there it was, the tickle crawling up his windpipe starting to curve inwards and block his air-
Killua’s eyes snapped back open and the phantom memory of his best friend vanished.
Instead he saw himself in the mirror: a washed out teen with deep circles under his eyes, a thin trail of blood dribbling down his chin to land in the sink below him.
Killua grounded his teeth together until it hurt. He furiously rubbed the blood off his face with the back of his hand.
Pathetic. That’s what he was: pathetic. Gon would never love someone like him. It was a death wish to imagine anything else.