i wish i'd know what this is

The Signs As Jack Handey Quotes
  • Aries: "After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?""
  • Taurus: “The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!”
  • Gemini: “Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.”
  • Cancer: “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”
  • Leo: "I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it."
  • Virgo: "Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I "swarm about" to protect my nest of chocolate eggs."
  • Libra: “I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”
  • Scorpio: "The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.""
  • Sagittarius: "You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress."
  • Capricorn: "I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around."
  • Aquarius: “We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”
  • Pisces: "Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to save our national forests."

some things that i wish i’d heard when i was thirteen:

  • don’t do things just because people want you to
  • dress how you want 
  • say what’s on your mind. it’s better to be honest, always
  • be that cheesy, rebellious teenager if you want to be. be that hipster teenager if you want to. be the boy/girl-crazy teen, the ‘quirky’ teen. don’t worry about being cliché
  • if you go out and drink, make sure you go with someone you trust. leave if you need to. match every beer with a water, and take aspirin before you go to bed. eat before you drink, too. 
  • ‘liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. beer before liquor, never sicker.’ memorize this NOW
  • kiss people if you want to kiss them, but –
  • don’t let yourself be pressured into having sex or making out or whatever. if someone tells you to grow up, tell them to shove it. 
  • friends are great. so good. treat them well, they will make you so happy.
  • treat yourself even better, though
  • get in the habit of having a weekly budget. it will save your life when you go to college
  • similarly, learn how to take notes. 
  • don’t stress about what you want to do when you grow up. you can be grown up and graduated with a BFA and still not know what you want to do. there’s always options
  • college is not as scary as everyone makes it seem, but you should still take it seriously
  • do not talk about people behind their back. it is so easy to let this become a bad habit. it’s unhealthy, hurtful, and it will bite you in the ass.
  • don’t be so desperate to be important to someone that you let yourself become a dumping ground. you’re important, too
  • faith is your own choice. not your parents. it’s personal. 
  • speak up, loudly, about what you believe. if people kick you down for it, then speak louder. 
  • try not to get messed up with drugs, and if you do, be careful please
  • staying up late isn’t as cool as you think it is. sleep while you have the time
  • if someone makes you feel unhappy, it’s time to say goodbye to them. you deserve to feel loved. this includes family.

feel free to add!!

the signs as andrew jackson jihad lyrics
  • aries: i hate everything you do but i'm trying really hard to not hate you because hating you won't make you suck any less
  • tarus: rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you, rejoice despite this world will tear you to shreds, rejoice because you're trying your best
  • gemini: the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night
  • cancer: i am a blank page in a notebook waiting to be filled with countless drawings of cocks
  • leo: i like telling dirty jokes, and i like smoking crystal meth, but darling i love you
  • virgo: you don't know your own power, you don't know what you're worth, you don't recognize your valor, and until you do, nothing you do will matter
  • libra: i would finally meet my maker, i could meet the great creator, and i'd punch him for teaching me how to sing
  • scorpio: in this life we lead, we could conquer everything, if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning
  • sagittarius: hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping
  • capricorn: in fucking fact, mrs. robinson, the world won't care whether you live or die
  • aquarius: i wish i had a bullet big enough to kill the fucking sun, i'm sick of songs about the summer, and i hate everyone
  • pisces: i'll never fix your car, or find you another dead end job, so let's lay on this carpeted floor and draw with crayons

anonymous asked:

So many swen I feel are starting to lose all faith and hope in ouat, even the ones who were startlingly swendgame positive. Of course I get it, they're starting to destroy the one thing that made this show great (swan mills family) all in favor for daddy hook and cs. I'd not be surprised if they honestly kill Regina off at this point, I mean if it's the last season what could they lose (besides dignity) ? I just wanted to ask are you still aboard the hope train ?

Hey Anon,

Hiatus fever. It’s a thing. Last thing we’ve seen was Regina and Emma holding hands in the wish realm. Emma singing one day her prince will come while Regina showed up dressed like a prince. I think all it takes to know where I stand is to scroll down my blog a little. In the last couple of months I’ve written more than a few posts.


The Guide
Ruby is Emma’s wolf. Her story guides us to the truth, just like the wolves made Graham remember who he was.

Emma’s Superpower
We think Emma’s superpower is failing, but there was always one exception to the rule. Emma can lie to herself. Denial.

Hook as the Animus
Hook represents a part of Emma she needs to make peace with. It also fits in with what looks like Hook and Emma parenting Henry. It’s about Emma wondering if the darkest parts of herself are fit to be a parent.

The musical
The musical episode fits in with @colyssa’s Women who run with the wolves meta and is a great opportunity to show us how the characters are really feeling. It might be a way to break through the denial.

Snow & Charming parallels
Emma & Regina’s current story matches that of Snow & Charming in the episode “Heart of Darkness”.

True Love crosses Realms
Henry, Emma and Regina’s relationship is the core of the show in terms of symbolism. Their message doesn’t actually work without a True Love’s kiss between Emma and Regina. 

Key symbolism
Emma giving Regina a key was a big deal.

Ariel
The Little Mermaid had some queer subtext going on and she’s coming back.

Emma’s secret wish
Some thoughts about Emma’s secret wish in the wish realm and how the absence of the Evil Queen is another symbol of repression and denial.

Season 7
The spoilers for a reset for season 7 can be linked to Emma’s journeys and their repression. Breaking through it could shake up the world for everyone.

A wedding and a funeral
A short exploration of themes related to weddings, funerals and relationships and what it could mean.


I wouldn’t call what I do hope & faith, however. At least not the blind version of it. I’ve explained my reasoning in this now half-finished series.

||  Part II     ||  Dumb Positivity
||  Part III    ||  Split yourself!
||  Part IV    ||  The same… but different
||  Part V     ||  The need to complete
||  Part VI    ||   Know your ending


One of the parts I hadn’t gotten to yet, was research. I didn’t know anything about fairy tales and I felt like I didn’t understand the show. There are several schools on the interpretation of fairy tales, but luckily Adam gave us one clue. The book Uses of Enchantment was what got him thinking about Fairy Tales in the first place, so we know that they are using the depth psychology approach.

All of the books - you can find a selection here - my more recent theories are based on can be linked back to this book. To Freud, Jung and depth psychology. The references on the show are abundant. It suddenly makes everything make sense. Every part of the show becomes relevant. There are no plot holes and the story threads aren’t dropped, the continuity is in the recurring themes like abandonment, abuse and killing fathers. With every new story we get extra elements… and while everything is relevant, Emma, Regina & Henry are more obviously than ever at the core of this story. If you don’t recognize that, you can’t begin to understand the psychology and the mythology. You can’t decipher the clues. Heteronormativity actually serves to keep the story hidden.


The thing with depth psychology is that it assumes the truth lies beneath the surface. We repress things, but here and there you can see the truth shine through. The entire show is built based on that principle. They use text to tell the main story, but then they use everything else available in audiovisual storytelling to mimic what we hide in our subconscious. The text is full of innuendo and double speak. The music tells its own story, as do the clothes, the references to known stories evoke something else, the setting, the symbolism, the props. The subtlety in the acting is amazing, because even there multiple stories are told. 

They don’t try to hide it from us either, they include so much to encourage us to look beyond the surface, like Emma saying the truth is tricky and something to look for.

The actions speak louder than words line is another invite to look beyond the text.

In season one there’s even a reference to the philosopher Derrida. The man is mostly known for his theory of deconstruction. Which - simplified - means that everything that you read holds different interpretations. Meaning changes dependent on context. It’s almost an invitation to pick their story apart the way… well mostly the Swan Queen fandom has been doing from the beginning, but it needs to be applied to everything.


Then I haven’t even gotten into the fact that the Aladdin and Jasmine parallels, OperationOUT, Women who run with the wolves, the circle story structure theory and the recent talks about a different season 7…. All point to Emma & Regina’s relationship finally being taken out of subtext at the end of this season or at the beginning of the next.

So, hope? I guess you could call it that, but it’s not unsubstantiated.

An Evening at the Germanic Household
  • Prussia: I DON'T WANNA DIE!
  • Germania: What are yo-
  • Prussia: I SOMETIMES WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALLLLLLL!!
  • Germania: Stop this at once.
  • Germany: *busts through the door* I SEE A LITTLE SILLOUETTO OF A MAN!
  • Switzerland: SCARAMOUCHE, SCARAMOUCHE, WILL YOU DO THE FANDANGO-
  • Germania: Oh come on. Austria, tell me you're not-
  • Austria: *aggressively playing piano* THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTING, VERY, VERY FRIGHTENING ME!
  • Germania: You know what I'm done. I accept my death.
A message I wish I'd sent

“ We haven’t talked for days. Well,months. And to think that once upon a time we would get restless if we didn’t talk every hour. I know, I’ve been busy. But then when I had to change cities, you told me to move on. You told me that I couldn’t keep living in the past, that the people, the house, the school, the scenery would change, but what would remain constant is me. You told me to love myself and work on myself for the first time. But what I forgot was that I left an integral part of me with you, in the old city. No wonder, every once in a while (very frequently now) I have this aching feeling suddenly enveloping me. A feeling I can’t connect to a particular organ but the heart. And I just lie on my bed, with a desire to do nothing and a throbbing pain inside me, thinking for hours about what went wrong. So today I would like to take the first step, to mend the broken friendship even if it means finding fragments of me, I never knew existed, to build bridges and most importantly feel warm and fuzzy inside again. So will you be my best friend, non-romantically other half, constant companion on every roller coaster in my life, and my soul brother again? ”……. I wish I sent that. Because then I wouldn’t be lying on my bed with an aching pain inside me, right now.

signs as catcher in the rye quotes
  • Aries: “All morons hate it when you call them a moron.”
  • Taurus: “Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone.”
  • Gemini: “Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."
  • Cancer: "Mothers are all slightly insane."
  • Leo: "I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It's nice."
  • Virgo: "People never notice anything."
  • Libra: “I don't exactly know what I mean by that, but I mean it."
  • Scorpio: "I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood."
  • Sagittarius: "People always clap for the wrong reasons."
  • Capricorn: "What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it."
  • Aquarius: "I can't explain what I mean. And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it."
  • Pisces: “I don't even know what I was running for - I guess I just felt like it."
Creepypasta #1050: I Am A Truck Driver, And I Wish I'd Never Seen What I Saw On The Side Of The Road

Length: Medium

As a trucker, I travel a lot, traveling to places I wish I hadn’t been. I have seen and experienced things I wish I had not. But it is these things that make me who I am, and that is why I love the job. You never know what you’ll run into next. However, not knowing also means that you cannot plan ahead, like how you’ll react in certain situations. I do not make the right choices in certain situations. At all.

I was in the UK a while back, taking a load up to the north of England. It was dark with few stars in the sky. I couldn’t quite focus on the road for some reason, and kept fiddling with the radio. A few minutes passed of me doing this. I looked up, and caught it right in my headlights. Sprawled out on the ground was a body. It wasn’t moving. I pulled the truck into the side and climbed out.

As I approached the body slowly, I cautiously asked “Are you ok, sir?”. No reply. 

I walked over, about to take his pulse, when I realised that there was no need. Blood was oozing out from underneath him - an obvious stab wound. It was clear to see the man was dead, and I knew that I had to call the police. I dialled 999 and explained to them what I had found. They said that they would send someone out to me, and to stay put. 

A few moments later, I heard voices shouting, and the sound of footsteps - fast footsteps - hitting the floor hard. I could make out the silhouettes of two men, one carrying a bag, I knew exactly what that was for.

I sprinted back to my truck and clambered in, heart pounding. How could this be happening to me? That was the question thumping inside my head. The men had made it to the body now. One chucked the dead body into the bag before running for their car. I hadn’t seen them parked on the other side of the road. 

The second man ran over to my truck and started climbing up. I opened the door powerfully on his face. He cried out in agony and fell backwards. I did the only thing I could think to do. Drive.

I slammed my foot on the accelerator and got out of there as quickly as I could, relieved that I had got away in time. The relief didn’t last long, as I noticed headlights behind me. I was being chased down, and of course, he was much faster than me. The car behind me was gradually gaining. I knew I couldn’t out run him, but I sure could outsize him. I waited until he was right on my tail and then crushed the brake. I was flung forward in my seat.

By the time I had recovered, he was gone. I did not know where, or how I hadn’t hit him. I saw a turning a few yards to the left and could only assume he had taken that. I put my foot down once again, I wanted to make sure that the other man did not catch up.

I had been speeding along for a good five minutes when I noticed something in the middle of the road ahead. It was two cars. Two cars that I recognised. It was the men. They had formed some kind of road block. A thousand thoughts were spinning around in my head - had I really stumbled across something that serious that these people needed me dead? Why would they not just attempt to get away? What do I do now? Earlier I talked about how in certain situations I make the wrong choices. Now was one of these times. I ploughed straight through the block and didn’t stop.

The cops arrived at the scene and questioned me on what happened and how two cars ended up lying wrecked in the middle of the road. I told them what I had done. One man had been hospitalised and the other had escaped on foot. Detectives found fresh tyre marks nearby and deduced that the man had got away by car. It turned out that the men were gang leaders. The two of them had killed the man I found on the side of the road, who was also identified as the leader of another gang.

I still curse myself that the other man got away. For some reason I can never shake of the feeling that somehow, I’ll see him again.

Credits to: JoeFish2018

  • Jill: This looks like the place.
  • Jill: [opens the door to Devil May Cry]
  • Dante: [sitting at the desk pretending to read a magazine] If you're looking for a bathroom, it's in the back.
  • Chris: I take it you're Dante.
  • Dante: Well if it isn't Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine. If I'd known I was meeting celebrities today, I would have dressed up. To what do I owe the honor?
  • Chris: We're having a hard time locating Wesker. I figured since your brother is affiliated with him, you might know something.
  • Dante: Wish I could help, but I haven't heard much from either of them since the wedding. You know how newlyweds are.
  • Jill: Wait, what? You mean Wesker and Vergil got married?
  • Dante: Affirmative. About two weeks ago.
  • Chris: And you're absolutely sure about that?
  • Dante: [pulls out a sheet of paper and lays it on the desk facing them]
  • Dante: I got ordained to spare any unwitting humans from having to deal with those two. Can't get much more sure than that.
  • Chris: [looks at Jill]
  • Jill: [rolls eyes, reaches into pocket, hands over $20]
  • Jill: What can I say? You called it.
  • Dante: What, that Wesker is gay?
  • Chris: No, that if he ever got married it would be to a literal demon.
Shrek (2001) Starters
  • "What's that? It's hideous!"
  • "We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!"
  • "Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn't COLOR-BLIND!"
  • "I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder."
  • "Whoa. Look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?"
  • "Well, I have to save my ass."
  • "Example... uh... _______ are like onions!"
  • "Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!"
  • "Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in SHORT supply."
  • "Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick!"
  • "You know, (name)... when we first met, I didn't think you were a big, stupid, ugly ______."
  • "Eat me!"
  • "Okay, I'll tell you... Do you know... the Muffin Man?"
  • "She's married to the Muffin Man..."
  • " So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?"
  • " You can't do this to me, (name), I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?"
  • "Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?"
  • "But this isn't right! You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banners flying! That's what all the other knights did!"
  • "I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going... take drastic steps, kick it to the curb. Don't mess wit' me. I'm the Stair Master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right now, I'd step all over it..."
  • "LOVE me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature! I heard the two of you talking!"
  • "Well, I have a bit of a confession to make: _____ don't have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves."
  • "Hey! I'm nobody's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy!"
  • "All right, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom."
  • "Like THAT's ever gonna happen! What a load of..."
  • "The line, the line you gotta wait for: the priest's gonna say "Speak now or forever hold your piece", and you rush in and say "I object!"
  • "Then ya gotta, gotta try a little TENDERNESS! Chicks love that romantic crap!"
  • Wow! Only a TRUE friend would be that cruelly honest!"
  • "Now really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?"
  • "Oh, I know. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village, put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleens and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?"
  • "The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight."
  • " Let's just say, I'm not your type, all right?"
  • "Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. I can't breathe. I can't breathe."
  • "...And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!"
  • "Thank you, thank you very much. I'm here 'til Thursday. Try the veal."
  • "There's an arrow in your butt!"
  • Because that's what friends do, they FORGIVE EACH OTHER!"
  • "Don't worry, (name). I used to be afraid of the dark until... No, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark."
  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Has JK Rowling ever actually watched the Very Potter Musical series? Can we get a directors commentary video of the cast of Harry Potter watching the Very Potter musicals? And then follow that up with the reactions of the starkids watching that commentary? Is Rowling aware that the relationship ties are inexplicably better in those musicals than in the entirety of the Harry Potter franchise? Can they be given a chance to perform one of their shows on Broadway? It doesn't even have to be AVPM, I'd buy front row tickets to Me and My Dick, Starship, Twisted... Hell, they could do an entire show of them moving furniture around a stage and I'd watch it. Does Joey Richter know that he is a precious, precious gift? And that Dylan Saunders had the voice of a God? Should I even mention Darren- I mean he is Harry Freakin' Potter. Will the starkids ever go back on tour? More importantly, will they sing songs of their past shows with those of the new? I wish I knew the names of all the new Starkids, but I'm terrified of change... What if I am left to whimper in solitude while eating a huge bar of chocolate, alone, over this empty hole left in my heart after having watched all the starkid Musicals on a never ending loop for years and never be satisfied? Is Hermiongleessa... Herman... Hermaiondal... Hermione actually the coolest girl in the whole wide world? How can I be a contributing member of society when I haven't reached my Status Quo? As I sit here eating redvines, might this be the one thing that REDVINES CAN'T ACTUALLY FIX? I NEED ANSWERS!

It’s at a comedy level of complete farce now and I’m pretty sure B/n will fail to sell Boe as badly as D sells M/arren  (if Zoe’s recent party video is anything to measure their chemistry against), but I’m sure PR will force a double date pic on us within the month.  

You know a simple low key explanation by D of why B/n lives in the pr house would have been more effective than what’s happening with B/n now, but then you have to factor in the unpredictable M/a.  As it seems when D ignores M/a she pulls some stunt, like the recent valentine Snap-chat pics and D then goes thru silly staged photo ops to rectify her mess and now B/ns roped in too and we get this fiasco where no seems to have any self respect anymore. 

Last night is another example of red carpet pictures where D looks miserable, whilst M Tries to sell her sinking ship desperately by smiling.  Note the moment the photographers ask them to get closer.  D doesn’t move - she does. Then look at the backstage pics with other people where D is laughing and joking.  It’s obvious to those who look there is no chemistry and D shows this blatantly and consistently whenever he does these events with her.  

I actually cringe for all parties involved in this, just stop!!

I don’t know what stops D running from this mess, but I wish he would.

i can’t believe i forgot to put this very important information on my saeran hc post how foolish of me

saeran choi has no ass. complete back to crack situation, no amount of belts can save his pants from falling down. bless his heart. saeyoung gets him one of the fake butts from walmart for christmas and saeran wishes he could go back in time to absorb his horrible twin in the womb.

thecalamityqueen  asked:

For your "Send Me a Character" could you do Tenzo if no one has asked yet? I hate that you are sick! I hope you feel better soon, Captain. I'd make you chicken noodle soup and tell you sweet MadaKaka stories if you weren't so far away.

Aww thank you berry!  You know just what a girl needs to feel better lol!  Also, I keep switching between Yamato and Tenzou, because I can never decide on what to call him.  He wants to be called Yamato, but I personally like Tenzou better, but I want to respect this fictional character’s wishes, so I call him Yamato, but then the ask framed him as Tenzou so idk here i am, floating along.

Originally posted by rasenpiss

  • First impression
    • No. No no nonono.  I want Kakashi.  I don’t want this whoever he is, bring back Kakashi.  So what, he can make a box and has a scary face, who would honestly be scared by that it’s dumb. He’s dumb.  Where’s Kakashi?  Why is Kakashi gone? I don’t care I want Kakashi bring him back bringhimbackbringhimbaaaaaack
  • Impression now
    • My wonderous tree child, love of my life, apple of my eye, poor, precious baby who has been abadoned by his creator and forced to become a joke while he follows around the source of his trauma, you deserved better.  This world was not good enough for you.  Sweet angel, I want only soft and lovely things for you.  Also, boy is cut.  Have you seen those arms?  Did you watch the filler episode where he’s soaking in an undergound hotspring shirtless (during the arc where they’re shipping him out with Naruto to the Turtle Island in Lightening)?  DID YOU SEE THAT?  Because that was when I started thinking ol’cat eyes was attractive.
  • Favorite moment
  • Idea for a story
    • Tenzou and Tobirama meet.  They bond over having the same face-plate, and being practical ninja who take safety seriously.  Alright, alright, a serious one.  Tenzou was born Senju Nawaki.  Dazou (being an utter bastard) totally fucking kidnapped him for experimentation, and switched him with another baby (who becomes the canon Nawaki.  I’m going to say Orochin wasn’t a total ass at this point and wouldn’t have experimented on Nawaki for Tsunade’s sake, so Dazou never told him the truth of the child’s lineage). That is why Tenzou has the Wood Release.  Not because Orochimaru’s experiments were successful, but because Tenzou had the ability (or latent ability) in the first place.  The experiments would have killed anyone else, but the Uzumaki longevity kept him alive.  The child who replaced him and is canonically known as Nawaki died because he was not an Uzumaki (like Tsunade is, by Mito).  It made canon Nawaki unable to withstand the same levels of trauma, which led to his death at a young age.  This gets uncovered after ROOT is brought to pieces, after the war, and Tsunade and Tenzou develop the sibling relationship they should have had from the start.  It’s about mutual healing, and while Tenzou isn’t a replacement for the boy Tsunade loved like a brother, he is a chance at having a family again.  He becomes Senju Yamato, and Tsunade is always teasing him to give her nieces and nephews.  Yamato blushes redder than a tomato every time, of course. “N-n-ne-nee-sama!  D-don’t say things like that!”  "Stop it with the ‘sama,’ otouto!  Call me neechan “bu-but Hokage-i mean-nee-sama, I can’t!  You’re the hokage!” and then Tsunade gives the hat over to Kakashi because she just wants to live a peaceful life with her new brother and also so Yamato will stop having excuses to address her as her ‘sama,’ but it’s a constant struggle.
  • Unpopular opinion
    • I don’t know how unpopular this is, but it’s the one I’ve got;  Yamato being forced to follow Orochimaru around isn’t funny.  Let me say that again for those of you in the back;  

YAMATO BEING FORCED TO FOLLOW OROCHIMARU AROUND ISN’T FUNNY!

    • Look, I get it.  It’s a cartoon.  But the idea of having to trail the person who abused me by torturing me as a lab experiment so soon after I just finished being another madman’s lab experiment because of the shit the first guy did to me is so fucked up.  Can you imagine, having to face your abuser while recovering from another string of abuse?  I mean, he was a child, he was helpless.  Maybe becoming a ninja helped with that.  He got strong.  He can protect himself.  Never again will he be taken in by a psycho trying to use his DNA—OH WAIT HE FUCKING WAS!  He was hooked up to a crazy tree, had the life pretty much sucked out of him because of the fucking DNA Orochishitface put in him, was made to be helpless again, and now it’s cool for him to be spying on the single person responsible for everything bad that’s ever happened to him, and it’s supposed to be funny?  It’s cruel.  And yes, ok, he’s a fictional character.  I get it.  But you know what? It’s dumb storytelling.  You basically erased the character’s past for a gag.  There were a million other things Yamato could have been doing.  Have him working in the Hokage’s office protecting Kakashi.  Give him a Family and make him a Tree Dad (Shizune is single, there you go.  Let’s paste together a relationship for him.  He’s interacted with her more than Kiba has interacted with the chick they got to be his wife).  Fuck, maybe Yamato is too traumatised and so he opens an orphanage so that no children will have to go though what he did.  Maybe Yams goes on a journey to find himself, collecting street urchins as he goes.  Maybe he opens up a Flower Shop and is now Rivals with Ino because his flowers and plants are always better (she complains all the time over him ‘cheating’ and sends Sai out to sabotage him.  There are constant mini-wars between the Yamanakas and Tenzou.  He’s usually ahead, because any damage they cause to his store he can rebuild in a second, while they actually have to rebuild (or wait for Yamato to feel guilty enough to fix it for them—Sakura is always trying to convince him to leave it; anything to one up Ino).  Maybe Yams starts growing herbs and stuff for the hospital?  Maybe the story I mentioned in the last bit comes to pass.  I don’t know, but I just thought of those on the fly and they’re already better ideas than being forced into a “comedy” routine with fucking Oroshitfucker.
  • Favorite relationship
    • We don’t really get to see many of his relationships except with Kakashi, so that wins by default.  I do like that they both kind of saved each other—Kakashi saving Tenzou from ROOT was just as important as Tenzou saving Kakashi from himself.  Both of them were drowning, smothered by traumas and hurts and just shitty fucking lives, and then they rescued each other.  So it started off very balanced between the two of them, they were on even footing.  Of course, Tenzou—who had never really had a relationship up to that point—puts distance between them by giving Kakashi a position of power over him (even if it’s just by calling him senpai) and kind of ruins that.  You can’t really build a steady, healthy relationship when there’s an uneven power dynamic in place.  Kakashi is always trying to get Yamato to address him without the honourific, but poor Tenzou is just like but…but…you saved me senpai I love you *heart eyes* and Kakashi is just like why do I always attract the weird ones?  What’s kind of tragic, is that Tenzou’s gratefulness and admiration towards Kakashi is was makes him want to address Kakashi as his senpai, but it’s that show of adoration and respect that is keeping Kakashi at a distance.  In this way, Yamato is the obstacle keeping himself from what he wants.  Poor tree man :’(
  • Favorite headcanon
    • This is actually something @fineillsignup​ wrote (I’m pretty sure?  I hope so), but I love the idea of Yamato calling Kakashi ‘Hokage-senpai’ instead of ‘Hokage-sama.’  It’s cute and super Yamato and I love it.  It’s official, this is how Tenzou addresses Kakashi.  Fight me.

Here is the ask! Send in a character!  Up next is Gai, then Genma, Hidan and Adult!Obito!

Already done:  Madara, Kakashi, Shino

What I Wish I’d Known Freshman Year (a.k.a. How to Survive Your First Year of High School)

I’ve been thinking about making this post for a while now and have gotten some asks about freshman year so without further ado, here it is. Freshman year considered the worst year of high school by most. You’re young, nervous, and stuck in this big new building with big and ‘scary’ upperclassmen and have probably heard all these rumors and stories about the teachers and how hard they are. It’s definitely a confusing time but fear not, it’s not as bad as it seems!

  • Grades matter but it’s not life and death. Grades are important. Most colleges only look at your GPA from grades 9-11 and possibly first semester senior year so you’re looking at freshman year grades being worth as much as 33% of the GPAs colleges see. That’s a lot. So please don’t take grades as a joke and not study/not take things seriously. You could jeopardize your college chances or make it really difficult to rebound. With that being said, it’s ok to get a B or two and to struggle a bit. You’re getting used to a new schedule and a new class rigor so some stumbling is to be expected. Just don’t dig yourself into a hole you won’t be able to get out of. Show up to class on time, do your homework, take notes, study hard for tests, and ask for help if you need it.
  • Be nice to your teachers. There’s this idea that if you get along with your teachers you’ll be ostracized as the teacher’s pet. That is not true (and anyone who thinks that has no idea what they’re saying). Being the “teacher’s pet” or nice to teachers isn’t a bad thing. See, freshman year teachers are stuck having classes full of squirrely and immature 14 year olds who make their life difficult. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was one student in the class who was nice to them and appreciated what they do? If you’re nice to your teachers, they’re much more likely to be more lenient with you if you have some outside issues that affect your school work, they’ll be eager to help you, and you’ll do much better in the class. Most teachers are smart, kind, and interesting people that are definitely worth knowing. I can’t tell you how much it’s helped me during high school that I was friends with my French teacher from freshman year and my junior and senior year English teacher who helped me with my college apps and valedictorian speech. You’ll benefit more than you know.
  • Make a friend in every class. Because you’re just starting out, you most likely won’t know that many people. There’s nothing worse than the feeling of having to choose partners for a project or activity and you don’t know anybody. Thus, you should make an effort to get to know a person in each one of your classes. It’s a good way to make new friends and they’ll be super helpful if you miss a day and need to get the homework. I met one of my best friends freshman year in biology so who knows, you could meet your future best friends too.
  • Don’t be stupid. And by that, I mean don’t party hard, experiment with hard drugs (or any drugs for that matter), and don’t get drunk. You’re young and I know it seems cool to get drunk or stoned, but it can negatively affect your schoolwork, health, and social life. It’s not worth it. You’ll have time later to experiment and have fun but freshman year of high school is not a good time to do so. Let’s not mention the numerous legal consequences if you’re caught underage with drugs or alcohol and how detrimental they can be towards your future.
  • Get involved. I know you’re new and probably have no idea what you want to do with your life yet (and if you do, it will most likely change as you go through high school) but find activities both inside and outside of school that you think you’ll enjoy. Some ideas are sports teams, student council, volunteering, clubs etc. It’s not only starting to prepare your college resume (although you shouldn’t be worrying about college apps yet) but also helping you make new friends and discover what you’re really into. Don’t be afraid to join something for whatever reason. Chances are, everyone’s nervous because it’s freshman year and they don’t know anybody so you’re all in the same boat.
  • Be organized. This will help you all throughout high school and getting a system set freshman year will only work in your favor. First, get a planner or agenda. Write down all of your homework, tests, quizzes, and projects and when they’re due and any other events like club meetings or practices so you’ll know what your week looks like. It will prevent forgetting anything important and will help you manage your time. Also find a study system that will work for you. Experiment with different note taking and study methods until you find one that works for you. And finally, don’t eat the elephant a.k.a. don’t leave your homework for Sunday night. It’s not fun and you’ll tire yourself out. Be proactive and get things done early.
  • Make friends with the upperclassmen. They will help you more than you know. I know they look intimidating, but talk to them! Most of them are super nice and can help you get to know your high school better, give you gossip, and you’ll look super cool talking to your upperclassmen friends. Truthfully, up until junior year, I got a long better with the upperclassmen than kids my grade because they were more mature.
  • Relationships don’t matter. It sounds harsh but it’s true. You’re not going to be together with your freshman year significant other for a long period of time, you’re just not. You’ll both grow and mature and realize you want different things and breakup and that’s ok. Don’t take your relationships too seriously and make them your whole life because you’ll regret it. Instead, your dating life should be more about having fun than something serious and long lasting. 
  • Make an effort to participate in school spirit activities. It doesn’t have to be all of them or even most but you should attend some events. Try to make it out to a football game, go to homecoming, and attend spirit rallies or assemblies. I get that some of you don’t like them because they’re loud and can be boring, and that’s fine, but spirit events are a great way to bond with your class and get a feel for what high school really is. They make great memories and it would be awful to look back on high school senior year and realize you’ve never been to one school activity.
  • Mental health is super important. Please don’t ignore it because it affects every facet of your life. Talk to someone if you’re depressed, anxious, stressed, overworked etc. Get the help you need. Don’t hide your problems and think they’ll go away because they most likely won’t and you’ll suffer in your academics, social life, and overall health. You’ll naturally feel different all year because high school is a big transition and you’re getting used to everything but make an effort to reach out to friends, teachers, counselors, and parents to talk about how you’re feeling.

That turned out kind of long but I hope it was helpful. Let me know if you have any questions and good luck next year!