i wish i were in the tropics

i’m always a slut for a christmas au 

  • “i know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside”
  • “i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years”
  • “hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cooking burning - whoaaa now that’s just embarrassing? step aside i’ll handle this”
  • person a seducing person b into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall (”oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there????”)
  • “you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”
  • “i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”
  • “we’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth”
  • “i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket”
  • “’it’s a wonderful life’ aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* “YOU MONSTER”
  • “we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we’re just…staring… at each other…”
  • TREE DECORATING (bonus points if one of them is doing it completely wrong omg why am i in love with you) 
  • “we took our kids to santa’s workshop and they both wished we would get together”
    FRIENDS AU - “our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt i never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl” 
  • “we’re co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff christmas party and admitted your love for me i don’t know how to act around you now” 
  • DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”) 
  • TEACH ME HOW TO SKI (lol jk i know how you’re just so fucking cute)
  • “there’s a storm and omg i’m losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas” 
  • “i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”

hope everyone’s new years went great! hope everyone will stay wholesome this year. make 2018 YOUR year! drew android 18, inspired by a dank new year’s eve meme I saw floating around on FB ahah~

my lovely tumblr friends, I’ve been gone way too long from here. :( I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been doing the best job at balancing work, life and sharing stuff online. I’ve actually hard a hard time even answering your inbox and messages. to be honest I was kinda in hiding because I have fallen WAY behind with my commissions, to the point I may have to close them temporarily while I finish settling my life.

anyways, so the reason I was hiding my shame from tumblr is… well I’ve been living in montreal in september, and things are absolutely fantastic and a little scary, moved into an empty apartment so furnishing it has been a slow, but rewarding task. also, the job I got to be able to live here isn’t turning out to be so great. honestly, I used to be able to come home to do art (always done that), because i’ve been (mostly) happy with the full-time jobs I’ve held so far. but this one is such a mental toll, I’ve spent most days passing out after arriving. so now I got job hunting to do and yall know how that can be. 

and when I’m not doing that I’m out getting to know the city. you also gotta remember I’m a wee tropical baby from a small third world country most people can’t pin-point on a map. coming from that to a city with concerts and shows and all sorts of cool shit going on is a massive change. so now I gotta learn how to balance all these things. I wish my days were longerrr :(

I want to apologize again for being so distant from tumblr. I hopefully will be back to share more cool stuff. I’ll sadly have to close commissions again, and I’ll go through my (absolutely way fallen behind) backlog. I hate, I really hate disappointing people like that, especially those of you who are lovely enough to want me to do art for you. :( I don’t know how to apologize.

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.

I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Is your daddy a Baker? Because you’ve got some nice buns!

There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.

Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.

Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.

Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.

I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like that.

Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

You’re the only girl I love now… but in ten years, I’ll love another girl. She’ll call you ‘Mommy.’

Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?

I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.

Hey, don’t frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile.

My doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.

Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.

For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.

Was your dad a boxer? Cause you’re a knockout!

You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen

I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?

If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.

Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling

There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.

Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces

Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.

There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.

You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

You know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it’s just a sparkle.

If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

You’re kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.

I like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?

You may be asked to leave soon, you’re making all the other women look bad.

Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.

Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!

Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.

No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.

I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I’d have exactly one cent, because you never leave my mind.

Hershey’s makes millions of kisses a day.. .all I’m asking for is one from you.

Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

How was heaven when you left it?

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

I didn’t know that angels could fly so low!

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.

Is your name “swiffer”? ‘Cause you just swept me off my feet.

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty

Your lips look so lonely…. Would they like to meet mine?

Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Somebody better call God, cuz heaven’s missing an angel!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.

If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.

Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.

I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

Are your parents bakers? Cause they sure made you a cutie pie!

Did you go to bed early last night? From the looks of it, you got your beauty sleep.

I’d say God Bless you, but it looks like he already did.

I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.

Let’s commit the perfect crime: I’ll steal your heart, and you’ll steal mine.

You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.

If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard

Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.

How come you’re not on top of a Christmas tree? I thought that’s where angels belonged.

Are you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect

If you were a tropical fruit, you’d be a Fine-apple!

I wish I was cross eyed, so I could see you twice.

Are you on Nickelodeon? Cause you’re a-Dora-ble!

I don’t know if you’re beautiful, I haven’t gotten past your eyes yet.

You don’t need keys to drive me crazy

Can you take me to the doctor? Because I just broke my leg falling for you

You must be a ninja, because you snuck into my heart

Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. I’m lost at sea

If I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say “I love you” with my last breath.

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

When God made you, he was showing off.

You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

I didn’t see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.

If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you’ve made me smile, I’d hold the whole universe in the palm of my hand.

Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?

When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.

(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?

This time next year let’s be laughing together.

Let me tie your shoes, cause I dont want you falling for anyone else.

Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaam!

I hope your day has been as beautiful as you are.

Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications

You better call Life Alert, 'cause I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up.

You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.

You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

Hi, I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?

You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!

Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

You’re hotter than Papa Bear’s porridge.

If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery…I would chose winning the lottery…but it would be close…real close…

You’re hotter than donut grease.

Are you the moon? Because even when it’s dark, you still seem to shine.

I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.

It’s dark in here. Wait! It’s because all of the light is shining on you.

Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.

Are you a kidnapper? Because you just abducted my heart.

Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.

You look beautiful today, just like every other day.

When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

If beauty were time, you’d be eternity

I’m lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?! 

Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you.

i have so many pickups lines so here u go!! i apologise for these in advance jjddjk -sara


Since the guy who sold me the Vallisneria obviously sold me a light hungry variant which made them die in this setup, I went ahead amd bought more plants.

It’s not a very good scape, but it nails the tropical island feeling I was going for.
The invitro plants are starting to grow, with the exception of the Althanathera reineckii, but the roots were still vital, so they’re allowed to stay.

Right now I am allowing for a current, but this will obviously change as soon as I am adding the betta.

I saw some beauties yesterday, I wish I could have taken one home 😍😍😍😍

Thoughts on Down

This is a long-ass shit, and I’m not forcing you to read. Also, please be reminded that this is just MY opinion. We all have different opinions, and I’m here to simply share my thoughts, and not to convince you to change yours. So please don’t go to my ask pushing your opinion. I already heard yours. I woke up to a bunch of “asks” and I already know that some don’t like it, while some do.

My initial reaction:

• why is this so auto-tuned? Okay, Dinah’s voice sounds like smooth warm caramel on top of a sundae. Why is this so basic? Lauren’s adlibs tho! Why are the lyrics so generic? Oooh WFH melody… It’s gonna be a bop! Wait why is the chorus so blandly repetitive? But it’s not that bad. Why do they sound so alike?

• and picture me with my earphones on listening to the first verse, pre-hook, chorus and shit with a pensive look on my face, and disappointment running through my head like damn I wanted more…

But then Gucci Mane came in, (and I know I’m the minority in this one), but for me, the first authentic reaction the song elicited from me was his part.

Why? Because his part was so off and out of nowhere that it took me out of the rut I was in. Like imagine a flat line where the song was just monotonous, like a car cruising on a smooth freeway (not bad, but also kind of boring) but then you run into a pothole and you get jerked off your stupor…

That’s what gucci’s part was for me. A tiny spike on that flat line. A deviation that held my attention. I’m not saying it’s amazing. I’m saying that the grating sound of the bass and the randomness of it was what made me smile while listening to it. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that I was smiling the whole time I was listening to that weird bass with a tiny bit of goosebumps on my skin because I knew then that I COULD like Down without lying to myself. It was the only thing that caught my attention, aside from Lauren’s adlibs (which, girl, I wish she did more. I live for Lauren going offffff)

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m so done with these collabs with rappers, like I wanted to hear them alone, like they did with Boss (idc if you say that one is trash lmao, Boss is a bop for me. I fucking love that shit 😂), but if they really have to collab with rappers, I wish it wasn’t Gucci. Maybe Chance, or Migos damn…

But if it were up to me, I wish they would have collabed with female rappers. I still am salty that NTKG wasn’t utilized much. A missed opportunity with Missy Elliott like bitch you had to release TMG over NTKG? NTKG was at least more authentic with the sound it’s trying to project. It was old school and it owned it. Like Voicemail was reminiscent of 90’s bops and not lacing it with today’s trendy dancehall or tropical vibe. It has its own sound, and not a mix of everything generic we hear today where we hear a song and we automatically hear the edm producers more than the artist.

But OMG I digress, sorry.

So yeah, DOWN…

So after my initial reaction, I gave it a couple more listen, and then I watched the live performance, then I slept, then I woke up the next day and I listened to the audio a couple more times, watched the live several more, and here’s my conclusion:

• Down is that kind of a summer bop which grows on you. It’s not a bad song. It’s simplistic but also season-friendly. It’s probably what the label insisted on as their first release.

The reason why it probably feels lacking for me, aside from its repetitiveness, is that maybe it lacks another verse. It’s shorter than WI and WFH so it feels incomplete. There must be a reason for it. It could really be just a teaser.

• at this point in my 5h-stanning life, I’m not even expecting anything mind-blowing. All I want is for 5H to slay the charts, because this should be their era. They seem genuinely happy now and my god after everything they’ve been through (label shit and all), ALL FIVE OF THEM deserve our unwavering support.

• Sure, Down isn’t what I expected. Yes, I wanted more. I wanted more lyrics. I wanted a kickass sound. But, idk man, after several repeats, I think it’s a good enough bop.

• with regards to the vocals, I still hate the auto-tuned shit. I get that maybe they’re finally utilizing Lauren’s range, but I prefer that they don’t auto tune much because I could barely hear her rasp (which was still obvious in her live performance, despite the higher tone she’s using).

Maybe they’re doing it on purpose, making them sound the same as a symbol of their new sound’s “cohesiveness”, but I prefer old 5h where their voices are uniquely different.

• and I’m not even complaining that it sounds like WFH. I don’t have a problem with an artist using a tried and tested formula for ONE of their album’s single. It’s meant to hook the audience. It gives them that familiar sound which could make a NON-FAN recognize their older hits and draw them to the new one. Just because they said “NEW ERA” doesn’t mean that they should change their ENTIRE sound. There’s always that one or two singles that are meant to hook the general public. It’s a constant compromise a mainstream artist makes with their label.

(I mean, The Chainsmokers basically generate the same sound over and over and they’re charting as if they created music. And no, I’m not a big fan of the chainsmokers.

Point is, re-using WFH is not something unheard of. It’s a business move.)

You really can’t please everybody. Because when Lady Gaga released an album that felt authentic for her, some people criticized it and kept saying they wanted the old “Bad Romance” Gaga. When Lorde released her new single, Green Light, her hipster fanbase called her a sell-out and didn’t like that she’s deviated from her “sound” to be more mainstream and I was like bitch can’t an artist explore a different side of her artistry?

And on the flip side, can’t an artist use their old sound? My point is, Down was produced by the same people who made WFH for a reason. They are playing safe. They wanted a single that would generate enough attention like their previous ones did. Then maybe, just maybe, their next singles which probably showcase their authentic sound and lyrics will have as much impact since now people are paying attention. Because no matter how much we want them to be authentic, they’re still a girl group under a greedy ass label who needs them to maintain what their idea of a girl group music and image should be..

And while Down is not something I’m particularly excited about, it’s starting to get stuck in my head, and I don’t hate it. It’s a light summery chill song that’s good to play with your friends while sipping on your drinks by the pool. It is what it was supposed to be.

I get it, I was disappointed too. Down is a downer. But I’m not gonna judge the whole album with one single yet. I’m gonna wait.

This is why I wrote this one before Down was released:


Because I knew that I wasn’t expecting much from their music. I sure hope for more, definitely, BUT stanning 5H isn’t always about their music.

And just because I don’t like a few of their songs, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve my support.

I’m supporting 5h because they represent girls who are not a standard definition of what society thinks a girl should look like or how they should act like. They symbolize us. They showed us that one can achieve their dreams through hard work, and while they have been mistreated before (by their label and by fans alike) they still kept their heads up high, with grace and maturity, and kept on spreading love and inspiration, and they kept on smiling even if their hearts were breaking. They kept striving to be the best they could be, and it’s inspiring. And to see genuine warmth from these pop stars, their love and appreciation for their fans, is something that makes me wanna stan them forever. That’s why even if i really don’t like their music, I’d still keep on stanning them, because what they shared to us, the representation they gave us, the beauty and poise they all showed us, man, even if they fucking screeched for an entire album, I’ll be fuucking putting that on loop and still support their asses.

And I know it’s blind support, but I knew what I was getting into when I started supporting 5h. I wasn’t a pop person before this, I knew I won’t love their music so much. I stan them because I like them, plain and simple.

And I know it’s different for everybody. It’s all just a matter of preferences. Some could unstan just coz they don’t like the song, and that’s totally okay. We’re free to stan or unstan whoever we want. But like I said, it’s just one song. Let’s wait for the other singles and the album.

Ideally, I would love for them to show us everything they have as artists. This is their chance to go big. They have so much potential and I would have liked to see it shine while they’re still in the group. I want the brand Fifth Harmony to leave a lasting mark in this industry. I want them to be on the same spot as TLC or SG or DC. I want them to legit deserve their title.


That’s all I want. And I hope I’ll find that in 5H3.

Yes, Down is empty.

But I won’t unstan just because of one song. We can be disappointed (as I sure was), but I think that 5H is worth more than a few musical disappointments.


anonymous asked:

What brush do you use for portraits?? It's so soft

for my newer hour-long portraits, i’ve been using these:

that 4th brush is LARGELY what i’ve been using to make them look so soft. no harsh edges, only where i want them!

Anonymous said:

Hi Scout ♡ I’m really sorry that you have chronic pain. Is there anything that helps the pain (besides when you are in an art pocket)? Was it from your surgery? Sorry, don’t answer if that’s too personal. My dad just re-injured his back after being good and letting his back muscles recover for at least a year. I wish bodies were easier to fix.

hey! ♥

this is in part because of my surgery. there’re other factors, but that certainly didn’t assist it. :’D

i don’t really have access to anything else that might help. i did take up meditation for when things’re unbearable–listening to thunderstorms does me wonders. there’re a lot of different things to concentrate on when i listen to the tropical ones. 

sorry to hear about your dad, though! i was doing a lot better myself when my issues just came back up. one misstep is all it takes, y’know? hope he gets better soon!

legend5rings  asked:

PTA Sans?

Love me some PTA Sans. Can we bring back PTA Sans?

TBH though I think at the beginning Toriel would handle most of that stuff. If she’s not available, someone else would step in.

Maybe ALL the monsters– they just keep getting rotated out as each one causes their own brand of disaster. Undyne brought charred brownies and made three parents cry. MTT spent more than $10k on a fifth-grade gym dance, and half of that was for a car-sized mirror ball. Asgore chipped five doorways and broke two ceiling fixtures coming in. Papyrus is no longer allowed in the school after “Puzzle Appreciation Day” turned out to have a lot more deadly hazards than most parents expected. Sans set up a candy bar racket with the Kindergartners and didn’t indicate it on his taxes. Alphys was doing great! …Until during a science fair she organized, one of her example box furniture inventions malfunctioned and gave one of the judges a black eye.

Nah, but besides that Sans in my Post-Pacifist is more like the friendly neighbor dispensing life advice at the midpoint of the episode. And he just shows up in random places when life advice is needed. He’s like a lazy, noncommittal Mr. Feeny.

“Aw, this day at the county fair/city park/aquarium was supposed to be fun, but now I’m having a fight with my best friend! Is our friendship ruined??”

“heya kid, you seem kinda down.”

“Sans! I didn’t know you were a rodeo clown/living statue/tropical fish tank cleaner!”

Even in the later years, when I have him latch onto Toriel and Frisk, it would just be moving those gags inside the house. “Sans, where are you going?” “i’ve got a new job as a high school mascot/massage therapist/Alaskan crab fisher today.”

I don’t think I’d have him get too involved with Frisk’s school life.

(Related to PTA Sans is Janitor Sans, which is another thing I love and wish would come back. Sans being this wise and mysterious authority among children and their child drama is funny to me.)

In all seriousness though (I just wanted to make a meme to lighten the mood), I’m going to be hit by this monster hurricane.
I remember back in 2004 I was hit back to back by hurricane Jeanne, Frances, and Charley.
Charley was the worst. After the storm passed, two of my windows in my then home were shattered, my fence was torn up, my street was flooded, there was debris everywhere, and my neighbors’ roof caved in.

Matthew wasn’t too bad for me (well I live in inland Florida so we didn’t get it too bad) last year.

I wish the best of luck to Puerto Ricans, Haitians, Floridians, Bahamans, and other islanders.

Stay safe.

anonymous asked:

i'm reading the omakes and what is mystery killer even supposed to mean?? what's wrong with ayato anyway? he's sounds so kiddy it's cute and adorable but it doesn't seem like him at all :/

Not Mystery Killer like a Mysterious Murderer, Mystery Killer as in the person who Kills/Ends a Mystery. The mystery is the 24th Ward and Ayato solved it by finding the Underground City! Go Ayato!

I think the omake was mostly making fun of him- I wouldn’t take it seriously as super super in-character canon. But even so Ayato’s only 18/19- he acts tough on the outside but he’s a giant dork who loves rabbits and tropical fish and wrote a haiku poem wishing he were taller and is scared of bugs. I wouldn’t be surprised if his inner thoughts were a bit cuter

wonderavian  asked:

3. "I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid." With Gordon and Alan? :O I love your writing so much <3

It was a rare morning that Alan came downstairs to find the living areas of the villa empty. Grandma was almost always up before everyone else, using the time to read or dust or think up new culinary concoctions with which to torture her grandsons. Scott was also an early riser, getting up at an ungodly hour to work out and deal with Tracy Industries or IR business. Even Virgil was known to rise with the sun every once in a while; something about there being some golden hour that was perfect for art.

That morning though, Alan was alone when he stumbled down to the kitchen. It took his sleep-addled brain a long minute to remember that Scott had taken Grandma to her 55th college reunion, Virgil and Brains were at an engineering conference in Switzerland, and Kayo was in Chicago, teaching a self-defense class to two dozen teenage schoolgirls.

Which meant that, for the first time in Tracy family history, the Tinies had the island to themselves.

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Jurassic World be not so good

I took some notes during Jurassic World, a movie that has made $1 billion faster than any other movie that has ever existed. It turned out to be exactly as not good at all as I expected. Here is an INCOMPLETE list of the dumb, dumb things that happen in this wildly successful movie.

–The youngest son is precocious enough to tell his mom that they don’t need to rush out the door because the airport is 36 minutes away (16 with no traffic) yet not precocious enough to know that it’s important to get to airports early.

–The eldest son doesn’t even like his girlfriend, and is unnecessarily rude to her? (upon finishing the movie, this is not resolved or really even addressed aside from the few times he looks at girls when there are girls around, but also it shows him looking bored (longingly?) at a picture of his girlfriend at one point so it’s hard to tell how he feels about anything, but then dinosaurs get loose and he doesn’t do anything about this ever again.)

–The dad mocks his eldest son for being sad (or bored?) that he’s leaving his girlfriend for a week? Is the dad character jealous of the eldest son character?

–The parents don’t get along and don’t like each other, at all, and then they are gone, seemingly forever? (They show up later twice but no word on how their divorce went.)

–Not only is twenty years not enough time for people to get bored of actual dinosaurs, but twenty years ago a bunch of dinosaurs killed a lot of people, so they wouldn’t even be available for the public to see for at least several years after that.

–“Kids look at a stegosaurus like it’s an elephant,” she says as if there is only one place on Earth to see elephants because they’ve been extinct for millions of years and have only been brought back to life for everyone to see within the last, let’s say, fifteen years. We landed on the moon more than forty years ago. That shit is still amazing. Sign me up for Moon Park and take me to the moon, you stupid movie.

–In the scenes before and after she talks about how kids don’t care about dinosaurs, we’re shown one of the main characters which is a kid who only cares about seeing dinosaurs.

–(About six scenes later, they show a whole mess of kids laughing and being amazed by dinosaurs)

–Talking about the Monstersaurus they created: “We hit a few snags early on. It began to anticipate where the food would come from.” Fucking cats do that. Mice do that. The other dinosaurs in your park do that. Every animal ever is wired to do that, it’s how animals still exist, you dumb fucking movie.

–“It tried to break the glass,” she says, next to completely splintered glass. Someone should replace that glass.

–Sixteen minutes in and the alleged Prattagonist hasn’t even shown up.

–Here’s the Prattagonist, impressively showing us that he can make raptors… look at him? That’s the trick they’re doing, right? When he says every one of their names in a row for us? And then he lets them go and his buddy’s like “You finally did it, man!” Finally did what? Got the raptors to look at him? This was the big moment? THAT WAS HIS BIG MOMENT?

–“We need velociraptors for wars, because we can’t use drones because drones can be hacked and once a real war starts, all of our technology will go dark.” … What?

–”Extinct animals don’t have any rights.” “They’re not extinct anymore.” “Exactly.” … WHAT?

–When that guy falls into the raptor pit and the Prattagonist goes in to save him, he tells the raptors “Back up! Back up!” The raptors slowly advance on him, and he says “Good, good…”

–I know the older brother will wind up learning a lesson and he’ll be a better brother, but I wish it didn’t take being chased by giant monsters to do that. If you were nicer to your younger brother, that cute girl on the boat probably would have been more attracted to you. Also, there are dinosaurs five feet away from you. Go look at them.



–The fragile lady who’s lived on a bug-infested tropical island for at least seven years is like “ICK A BUG” and then the Prattagonist grabs it out of the fucking air, holy shit what even are you, movie?

–”Why do you want me to inspect the paddock where you’re keeping the new giant monster that’s never existed before?” “Well, we thought since you can control the raptors…” And then he cuts her off and she never gets to give a satisfactory answer to that reasonable question.

– “Who prints out an itinerary for a night out?” he asks. Her answer is, “I’m an organized person,” but the real answer is, “Nobody. No believable human being.”

–Every other line of dialogue in that scene.

–Okay, PLEASE buy a Mercedes-Benz?

–The guy hired to detect problems with the Monstersaurus cage asks about the feeding mechanism, “You feed it with that?” The woman who asked him to help is APPALLED that he’s EVEN TALKING TO HER, and asks, “Is there a problem?”

–The monster’s been in this cage for months, and they are just now asking ANY PERSON how they should raise it and take care of it?

–The Monstersaurus is finally loose. “She has an implant in her back. I can track it from the control room,” but not from here, where the monster lives and is observed. That would be nuts.

–Wow, seriously, Jurassic Benz everywhere.

–”That wall’s forty feet high. Do you really think she could have climbed out?” Hey, movie, earlier in your movie, you said that the Monstersaurus was between 40 and 50 feet long so yeah probably.

–Clever move covering yourself in gasoline, but now you’ve got gasoline in your eyes. That’s not water. It’s gasoline. Act like you have gasoline in your eyes.

–Can we put a moratorium on war-hungry dummies who are mean to animals for no reason other than to make their eventual death “satisfying”?

–It’s like the only animal this Claire person has ever seen is a worm that turned out to be just some dirt. “It can’t have learned anything, it’s just an animal!” “It can’t feel anything, it’s just an animal!” “It can’t be real or do things, it’s just an animal!”

– “She clawed out her tracking device.” “How would she know to do that?” “She remembered where they put it in.” “Right, but, like, how would she know what it is and what it does?” “She remembered them putting it in her.” “Sure, but, how would she know that that’s a thing she needs to get rid of? Like how did she know that the thing tracks her? Even considering the intelligence of a raptor, it couldn’t possibly know that the tiny device implanted in it at an early age was used to track its whereabouts.” “Well, sure okay, but she doesn’t have to know what it does, just that it’s a foreign object and she needs to remove it.” “Fine, then why didn’t she remove it literally any other time? If she just wanted it out, why didn’t she do that earlier? She waited until she escaped and ran several miles to throw you off, then removed it. Why?” “I don’t fucking know, okay?! I don’t! There, it’s an R-rated movie now! Fuck fuck fuck I don’t fucking know why things happen. Sorry.”

– “Mr. Grady, if you’re not going to help, get out of here,” she said in response to helpful advice.

– “We used this animal’s DNA so it would do a particular thing, but I never imagined that a second thing could happen, despite the fact that the first park everyone’s always mentioning was destroyed because they used frog DNA and didn’t expect the dinosaurs to be able to do things frogs could do,” says the scientist, basically.

– “You act like we’re doing mad science,” says the scientist, adding, “Nothing in Jurassic World is natural!” Verbatim.

–This whole conversation with the scientist is fucking ridiculous and he changes his opinion about the situation (and the reasons for the situation) about every other sentence.

–The kids are in the car bubble and the youngest one looks in every single direction and asks, “Where are they?” The older one says “Oh, man,” revealing that there are fifteen enormous dinosaurs ten feet in front of them.

–They went through all of the trouble to design some bubble cars, and then they… don’t use them? The Jurassic Park jeeps are iconic because they have an original design, and because they were used in more than two scenes of the movie. You have this awesome idea for a dino-viewing vehicle, and they could be iconic if they were better utilized (also if the movie was much better). Practically the minute we get into one of these bubble cars, Monstersaurus shows up and destroys it. No chase scene, no daring escape in a gyroscopic bubble car. Just a monster shows up and bites it like it bit the jeep that one time. Why even bother creating something like that if you’re not going to use it? More screen time for the generic, forgettable MERCEDES-BENZ?

–Smart, though, putting in all of these familiar shots and homages to the original movie to remind us all of good movies.

–Okay, the kids just got to a waterfall and jumped in and that’s all well and good but in the previous scene they had a gyroscopic bubble car. Bet that would have been pretty cool to keep around.

–She got sad when the dinosaur died and that was a fine idea, movie. I’m not being sarcastic.

–… Even though it is virtually unbelievable that this woman who’s worked with dinosaurs for years and years hasn’t had a single moment of connection with or appreciation for any of the thousands of dinosaurs at the park.

–The employee tasked with taking care of the brothers easily could have been a character in this movie. Instead she was on her phone the whole time and then she died horribly. I probably would have cared about that last part if she was a character in the movie.

–Man, I love Chris Pratt. He’s delightful, funny, and seems like a really genuine, kind guy. But he should not be the protagonist in action/adventure movies. I can constantly feel that he knows he’s the protagonist in an action/adventure movie, and wants to make sure he looks really cool saying the things he’s saying. Good for him and his career and the fact that he and his family will be set for life, but… nah, man. Nah.

– “How did they even start that thing up?” asks the character who was working on a motorcycle engine fifteen scenes ago.

–I find it hard to believe that Judy Greer is in this movie anymore, or was ever in this movie in the first place.

–At this point I stopped writing things down because there are some action scenes that happen and they’re completely okay, except it eventually becomes clear that these scenes existed many years ago and the last decade was spent trying to write a movie that leads up to them. Also during these scenes, the male and female leads/placeholders fall in love, I guess, even though they’ve never shared a single conversation together.

–Lauren Lapkus and Jake Johnson got to do a funny bit towards the end!

–The sometimes-reasonable bad guy says, “Imagine: A weapon–deadly, alive, intelligent–that nobody can find or take control of,” as if that’s not the dumbest fucking thing he’s ever said to a person.

–SOFT PITCH FROM A STUDIO EXECUTIVE: Let’s have one of the raptors “bite off the hand that feeds him” at the end. It’ll happen to the New Newman, and we’ll add a scene earlier where he pets the raptor while gabbing on about how the nature of things practically demands that he creates a giant army of probably unstoppable snake monsters.

–A raptor, after a moment of uncertainty about its relationship to the Prattagonist, screams, “Run! I’ll stall him!” Then they don’t do anything and Monstersaurus kills it.

–After telling us the different raptors’ names over and over again, why did they make sure that they all had completely interchangeable personalities and features? This movie hasn’t tried to make me care about anything.

–The gift shop is called “Pandora’s Box,” because the park is self-aware enough to do that, but not enough to reconsider making a giant carnivorous demon creature with a very short wall built around it.

–Did nobody think to invent a special weapon to take down the monster? “Well, bullets don’t penetrate its skin, but we’ll look cool holding guns anyway!”

–Friendly reminder that the premise of this movie is that a theme park for children decided to create a gigantic carnivorous monster designed specifically to have various qualities of many of nature’s best hunters.

–They really harped on how the Monstersaurus had a deep connection with its food crane, and how Prattagonist was really smart for knowing that, and then the movie never mentioned it again? Couldn’t that have been, like, used? In the third act? As part of some sort of plan?

–The T-Rex saves the day again, because who could possibly ever think of a second idea?

–Oh wait they did think of a second idea! (“A different large dinosaur saves the day.”)

–Literally any additional reference to the divorcing couple’s divorce would have been appreciated. The entire film’s denouement was like fifty seconds long.

–Call me crazy, but this new romantic relationship between the two characters who couldn’t stand each other until they both almost died a bunch probably won’t last.

firecat17  asked:

Do you like Moana?

i do! i loved it as a movie, but at the same time i’m critical of it as a commercial production. i didn’t have any major issues with the representation of polynesian people and culture, or the fact that they combined elements of multiple polynesian cultures - after all it’s a fictionalised cartoon version of a period in early polynesia, when most of the cultures were actually yet to diverge.

and i rarely see polynesians in media so as a polynesian i was moved to see a mainstream movie that’s completely about us.

but i can’t ignore the irony of a story about precolonial polynesia being made by and profiting a company from the US, a country which forcibly colonised and still occupies many territories in the pacific (along with being one of the biggest contributors to climate change which is already displacing pacific people with rising sea levels and worsening tropical storms)

i just wish there were more tangible socioeconomic benefits for the people it draws from, like if a portion of the profits went towards helping pacific communities in some way. i wrote so much lol sorry, it’s just that for me as a polynesian “do you like moana” isn’t a simple yes no question lmao

pennylane4321  asked:

61 65 70 pls

Thanks for the ask dude, I appreciate it! 

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Absolutely, it’s been negative 5 degrees or so here today so I would love to be somewhere warmer, idk somewhere tropical would be nice

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

I haven’t had a crush in about 3 years or so, which was when I was back in high school, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not??

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

Right now I only have 3, I have tumblr open, Youtube, and Spotify 

What’s the worst thing your school has ever done? Removed the vending machines? Canceled Taco Tuesday? Went with “Tropical Paradise” for a prom theme, instead of your suggestion, “Mad Max World”? Consider yourself lucky: Diana Achieng, a student at Kenya’s Strathmore University, wishes she had those kinds of problems. Her school ordered security forces to open fire on campus in order to simulate a terrorist attack back in November 2015. Sadly, while the attack itself was fake, the dozens of injuries and one fatality it caused were all too real.

“On the day of the attack, I had just left the Students Centre to go for lunch when a friend I was with received a call from someone at the school,” Diana recalls. “The caller was running out of there because there were gunshots coming from the Students Centre, where I’d been just a few moments ago. A couple of armed masked men wearing white overalls were shooting going up the stairs. … We decided to check Twitter, which is where we finally found out what was going on: It was a security drill.”

That’s right, Strathmore decided to announce their drill on Twitter after it already began, which was possibly the least helpful thing ever. They might as well have announced it through MySpace.

5 Horrifying Lessons From The Day My School Killed Someone



i’m always a slut for a christmas au

  • “i know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside”
  • “i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years”
  • “hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cookingburning - whoaaa now that’s just embarrassing? step aside i’ll handle this”
  • person a seducing person b into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall (”oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there????”)
  • “you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”
  • “i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”
  • “we’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth”
  • “i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket”
  • “’it’s a wonderful life’ aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* “YOU MONSTER”
  • “we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we’re just…staring… at each other…”
  • TREE DECORATING (bonus points if one of them is doing it completely wrong omg why am i in love with you)
  • “we took our kids to santa’s workshop and they both wished we would get together”
    FRIENDS AU - “our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt i never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl”
  • “we’re co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff christmas party and admitted your love for me i don’t know how to act around you now”
  • DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”)
  • TEACH ME HOW TO SKI (lol jk i know how you’re just so fucking cute)
  • “there’s a storm and omg i’m losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas”
  • “i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”
Turn Up the Radio

Author: afreckledangel

Word Count: 1,336

Summary: I combined two requests for this (I hope that’s okay). The reader recently discovered they’re the Winchesters’ half-sibling, and feels as though they aren’t necessarily welcome in the family. They wake up one morning to find themselves alone in the bunker.

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