i wish i were a unicorn


Dan over-hearing your conversation with Phil


Phil: wutt


Dan: *over hears and leans on the wall to hear more*


Y/N: Nope, but I wish those were in the news

Phil: aww okay then what is it then?

Y/N: *whispers something Dan couldn’t hear*



Phil: shhhh Y/N is about to tell me something

Y/N: Oh well, guess I’ll have to tell you both. I have a–

Dan: Unless it’s something about anime and Mario Kart then idgaf *turns around and walks away*


Phil: *fake cheers knowing that Dan likes Y/N*

Dan: *stops in his tracks*…. that’s great… * does GIF*

marmite-666  asked:

I have a question: I'm looking for an instrumental version of The Unicorn Invasion Of Dundee to enter a talent contest with. I wish to sing it but there are no instrumentals out there. Perhaps you'd be able to assist me? (this is totally serious btw, i really would love to sing it)

Hi…hmm, well we don’t have an instrumental of the album version. I think there was once an instrumental version of the original demo back when we were looking for a singer in 2011, but I don’t know where. If I find it I will let you know.

Once upon a time, on the planet Nyla, there were two warring kingdoms; the kingdom of the cats, and the kingdom of the unicorns. The king of the cats had two sons. The eldest was named Cobalt, and the younger was Faro. The unicorn queen had four daughters: Darla, Wind, Wish, and Uni. 

The two kingdoms fought often, though the battles were rarely fatal for either side. No one knew why or when the fighting had started, but all knew why they persisted now. The trophy that each army claimed each battle was the spilled Life Force of the opposition. It had become a tradition for the cats to drink the Life Force of unicorns that had been injured in battle, and the same was true for the unicorns. 

The battles never claimed many lives because each kingdom had a mystical item called their Marrow Relic, which allowed them to replenish the Life Force they had lost.

The eldest prince and princess respectively had realized the futility of the war ages ago. Cobalt believed it would be better for everyone if they established trade of Life Force rather than fighting for it, and Darla believed that everything could be resolved if they simply traded relics. Their families rejected both plans, believing the other kingdom would never to such.

Cobalt was walking through the streets of his kingdom one day when he saw something strange. A cloaked figure was giving a jar of Life Force to a group of homeless alley cats, who had nothing. The cats expressed their gratitude, but when the stranger turned to leave, Cobalt saw hooves beneath the cloak instead of paws. 

He ran after the cloaked figure until they reached the border of the kingdoms. He called out, and in their shock, the stranger’s hood flew back, revealing the head and an horn of the unicorn princess. The pair stood in silence for a while, but eventually managed to talk. They conversed far more amicably than either had expected, and came to the agreement that it was their duty to somehow end their kingdoms’ war. They agreed to meet one another on the border once each week, so that they could formulate a plan.

Over the duration of their meetings, the pair slowly began to fall in love. Darla and Cobalt realized this, and didn’t fight it. They believed that, in the event that they were successful, then perhaps they could marry and unite their kingdoms further. 

In the end, their plan was to stop the battles. During the most important battle of the year, they would both run out between the two armies, halting them. They both knew that they were valued to their kingdoms, and that their armies wouldn’t dare lay a paw or hoof on them to cause them harm. Once the armies had halted, they would prove that they could live harmoniously. 

They day came for the battle to take place, but though Darla was in position, Cobalt was nowhere to be found. Worry for her Lover consumed the princess, but she could not risk compromising their plan by leaving to search for him. The two armies began to charge at one another, and Darla had no choice but to try and enact their plan alone.

The unicorn army stopped at the sight of their princess, but the army of the cats did not halt for even a moment. It seemed that Darla would surely perish beneath the claws and teeth of the whole cat army.

But fate had other plans.

White Halo, a Form of The Sage herself, appeared before the armies, simultaneously whisking Darla away and stopping the fighting. The great Origin Dragon chastised the pair of forces, scolding them with all the fury of a parent for their pointless suffering. She praised Darla for her bravery and selflessness in trying to end the war on her own. As a reward for her actions, White Halo proclaimed that she would be brought to Mythcre, and gain an audience with The Sage herself. She would have the opportunity to, if she wished, become queen of Mythcre’s largest continent. 

Darla, overcome with awe, said nothing to argue against the proposal. White Halo declared that the fighting was to cease, and that she would know if it continued. The two kingdoms would establish trade, and never fight again.

The armies complied, and told her that they would report to their monarchs of the arrangement when they returned.

As White Halo flew back towards her home planet, with Darla atop her back, Cobalt came rushing towards the battlefield. The last he saw of the princess was the faded purple speck against the pearly white backdrop of scales receding into the distance.

To be continued…

the ugly christmas sweater series: kabby [x]

he said she wasn’t an angel so she proved him wrong

Full Res [x]

please don’t repost it elsewhere or edit it, thank you ✿◕ ‿ ◕

Tease Couple (M) pt. 3

pt.1 || pt. 2
(You don’t have to read the other parts to get along. It’s a serie.)

[Smut Warning]
Semi sex. More or less.

He got you for 5 minutes.

[A/N] I think the last one was a little bit boring. So. Here we go?
I gave my best at describing, so you can let your dirty vibe go. And I tried to make it Jimi%ç%(&ç*”n-ly as possible.

Originally posted by ohparkjimin

He’ll be begging for you today. You were so sure.

You just didn’t know how.

You had no plans.

It sucked.

Goood morning~” A cheery voice greeted you like a rainbow world with unicorns. Jimin sneaked beside you on the couch and kissed you on the cheek.

„Jimin, I give up.“ You crossed your arms.

„What?“ He didn’t know what was going on. He just wanted to wish you a good morning.

You decided just to give up because you were too uncreative for a plan and even if you had one, he would always flip the table so that it slapped your face or your ovaries.

„I’m not gonna tease you anymore.“

He raised his brows as you bought up this topic. And then there was his grin. „That means I won?“

„Since when was it a competition?“

„Now it is.“

You snorted and leaned back. „Fine, you won.“

„What’s my reward?“ His eyes were sparkling in anticipation. He eyed you from your eyes to your whole body.

You scratched your head while thinking. What damn reward?

„You got me for 5 minutes,” you suggested.

„Only?“ His face still was brighten up. „Alright.“

He crushed his lips on yours and started with a soft kiss. With a kiss that he’d always greet you in the morning. And his lips tasted like the strawberry lipbalm you gaved him. It seemed that he liked to use it alot.

You could feel his soft fingers dragging from your lowest part of your spine to the top as he began to nip on your underlip. His lips suddenly widden into a smile, making yours too. It was a non-verbal of saying ‘I missed that’

„How long ago had we slept together?“ You asked while he was pulling your shirt upwards, not letting his eyes go out of your bare belly nor your breats.

„2 weeks? 3?“

You nodded. „That’s long.“

You two had been always busy with works but it didn’t matter anymore. You now had him and he had you.

„That’s why…“ He bit his lips and grabbed your hair slightly. „I’m going to do it right now.“

„You got 4 minutes.“

He started to kiss your neck and you watched how his head moved down to your breast. Even the touch of the tip of his nose on your skin made you sensitive. You found yourself biting your lips and anticipated him to touch you more.

You didn’t know that you missed it so much.

„It’s enough for me to make you beg.“ He mumbled.

„Never.“ And you knew he will.

His eyes were now gazing at you as he was taking your nipple between his teeth. He pulled on your nipple and continued sucking it. You dragged your fingers on his neck and watched every move he made. You just lost your breath everytime he did this.

He crooked his lips into a smirk as you were grabbing on all over his hair and bitting your lips. He knew you were begging but just silently. It was not enough for him, he wanted to hear you.

„Why are you so quiet when you’re horny?“

You blinked at his question, slightly blushing. You just smiled nervously and turned your head. But then he grabbed you to another kiss and you just couldn’t deny it.

„I knew that you faked your dirty talk… Your a good actress but I know that you speak body language.“ He grinned and let his hand follow your hips line.

He yanked down your shorts with one move, including your underwear. Your face was heaten up, so that you could burn your hands with.

„Such a bad girl.“ He stroke once between your legs, which was already senstive.

„Mh, Jimin…“ You may get cramps as how strong you clenched your brows.

„Dirty talk to me. I still have 2 minutes.“ He flashed his teeth by his smile. „Come on.“

Since you were hesitating, he circled his finger around down there just like that. Sometime he would stuck his fingertips in and that was it. You couldn’t stop to mewl, while looking at him.

„Jimin..“ Your voice was suddenly an octave higher that your orignal.

„You did it better last day.“

You groaned out of frustration. „I don’t need foreplay.“

„Indeed.“ He showed his fingers that were already soaked before even go in your hole.

„But–“ He stucked out his tongue and smiled cutely. „Nope.“

Before you could ask or even think, his fingers already rocked in your vagina. He pulled you into a kiss while he made you moan in his mouth with his finger thrust. The sound of your slippy hole and his palm slapping your pussy hit your ears like his smirk that would doubtfully slap your eyes or your ovaries.

„Time’s up.“ You reminded him.

„You still want me, right?“

„Of course.“

You imitated his stupid smirk and went down to your knee, burying your head between his legs.

„You know, I like you with this jeans on.“ You ran your hand on his thigh.

„But I feel like ripping it off.“ You smirked and kinda tried to act like him.

He just snorted.

You were not strong enough to rip it off, so you went the traditional way and loose the button. Right after you pulled his jeans down, you already could see his bulge popping up. You grinned and kissed it. With you eyes looking at him, you said that you couldn’t wait.

But his bold dark eyes rather commanded you to suck his dick.

You pressed your lips into a line and pulled off his boxer. You didn’t hesistate and began to cover his tips with your lips. Right after that, you felt him lifting your hair so you could be more comfortable.

You started your tongue from the bottom and locked your gaze with him as you were draggin it up. He was watching everything you did. And the way his tongue was drawing on his underlip, while his head crooked, made you want to stop and ride him.

How could a man be so sexy with just his face?

You grabbed his length with your whole hand and started to suck the tip. You went further down until you filled your mouth and moved there for a few second.

He groans and pulled on your hair. You liked how he was frying his voice and sucked the air in… With that alone you were even more horny.

As you wanted to fasten your pace, he suddenly drew his thumb on your cheek and pushed you out.


He grabbed your arm and carried you on the couch, so that you could lay on that. You watched how he pulled off his shirt and pants. His skin glowed a little but because of his sweat, making his abs lines more defined.

You could feel his heat as he was bending over you. Some strands of his hair was already soaked by his sweat. You smiled and run your hand over his hair as he was kissing you jaw. His forehead was all covered in wetness.

You just felt a touch of his lengt between your legs. And that was when your phone ringed. He stopped and blinked confusingly.

You didn’t know what the matter was, so you grabbed your phone that was laying next to you on the coffee table. You widdened your eyes as you saw that your friend was calling you.

„Oh my god.“ You probably was late for your hang out and you were still at home. You had to go now, no matter what.

Suddenly, an idea hit your brain like a wrecking ball.

„I was meeting up with a friend today,” you said.

„Go later.“ He grabbed your hips to pull your back again. „I’ll do it quickly.“

„I have to go now.“

„You can’t.“ He sucked on your neck and held your wrist. He was really turned on, you noticed.

„Sorry.“ You pushed yourself away and gathered all your clothes.. „Finish yourself.“

„Y/N, please… Huh?” His voice was like a puppy begging for food. He stood up and hugged you from behind.  „I need you.“

“Gotcha.“ You stucked your tongue out and clutched his dick to say goodbye.

That was how you left your lovely boyfriend and his dick standing like that.

Jimin will find a way to torture you for sure.

2:1 for him

Will you ever have sex with your boyfriend in this life?

To be continue.

(Sorry I wanted to try this)