i wish i was funny pl

so in golion their names were metals and I kinda wish they would’ve kept them

Special Instructions (3/?)

Summary: Drunk Emma really likes pizza. She also really happens to like the cute delivery guy who seems content to carry out all of her wishes via the “Special Instructions” box on the website. (AO3)
Rating: M
Word Count: ~3800 (why do they keep getting longer?)
Chapters: One Two

hope u like crazy hot mess emma 😝 🍺🍻🍷🍸🍹🍾🍕 😵

remember a few months ago when i asked everyone to tell me stories of stupid/funny shit y’all did when drunk? thanks for the inspiration ;))

reader requested tags: @lenfaz @ilovemesomekillianjones @like-waves-on-the-beach 

.

Special instructions: pls send cute delivry guy, i missss himm   

One of the benefits of having a job with odd hours was that Emma could get completely trashed on a Tuesday evening and not give a single fuck as to how it would affect her the next morning. She’d started her own private party several hours earlier when all of her friends had turned her down for one reason or another. (Because they had jobs, mostly. Fucking party pooping productive members of society.)

She was giggling so hard she snorted when she clicked ‘order’ on the website, so beyond caring about anything that she felt no shyness or shame whatsoever.

Drunk did not even begin to cover it. Drunk was several homemade cocktails earlier. She was mixing a bunch of things she really shouldn’t be mixing. She couldn’t remember everything she ingested, but she did recall the two straight shots of tequila that she started off with (and what a way to start), as well as the few gulps of red wine that she took straight from the bottle because she was a respectable, refined adult. She vaguely recalled an almost-daiquiri of questionable flavor, as well as one particularly horrible concoction of Red Bull, triple sec, vodka, gin, and Gatorade because apparently she was trying to liquefy her internal organs.

(It didn’t help that she’d pulled out the entire contents of her alcohol cabinet and placed everything on her kitchen counter, giving her a wide selection of self-destructive options.)

Keep reading

hey so i reached 1k recently and decided to celebrate it by acknowledging all my lovely mutuals and people who i follow!! 

(thank you @catharinaloss for the gif i wanted this bc it’s the moment i fell in love with magnus bane and was like *eyes emoji*)

special shout outs

@catharinaloss  ok i’ll try to keep this short but jo you were my first friend here and i continue to talk to you almost every single day and i think i’ve shared many things that are pretty personal with you because you understand me so well and you’re so easy to talk to. you’re the sweetest, loveliest person even tho you might not believe me but you’re cute af and you deserve only nice things always! love you

@magnusbaene  ellie istg we have the most creative talks bc all the headcanons just pour out of me with you so i think it’s safe to say that we work well together lol. you’re funny and talented and you inspire me every day so thank you for that! also lowkey confession but you’re also really hot so that’s definitely a bonus for my bi ass

@hufflebee we don’t really talk that much francy but you have to be mentioned bc you’re the kindest person on this website and everyone should aspire to be like you! and i definitely wish we’d chat sometime

also this is for all the people i wish desperately that would talk to me more

 @patronusmagnus i love you dragging me pls you’re so funny

 @softshumjr you’re a sweetheart i see you and appreciate you

 @softdaddario ceci! i miss you! the gc waits for your commentary! 

 @daddarioswife danielaa i miss you we only talked like once *alec voice* whats up with that

 @baneftglitter kinga!! you’re the sweetest

 @maiasunshineroberts misha!! you’re a sweetie and we need to talk more pls

 @ffsmagnusbane alicia i loved how we had that discussion on swedish that one time hmu

now onto the actual follow forever

faves are bolded mutuals are italicized

a-b @abloodneed @alberto-rozende @alecblushed @aleclightwoodh @alecsplushpillow @alishawainnwright @alxanderlightwood @alexandargideonlightwood @amorverus @baneftglitter @banesfuture @banelights @biperaltiago @boyfriendsmalec 

c-g @clarys-lethal-cuteness @caringmagnus @clizzyx @clizzyyyy @catharinaloss @clarygaywood @darthlightwood @darling-magnus @daddarioswife @damnmalec@dearestalec@flammenmeer@fraywoodbane@ffsmagnusbane@glitterybluemagic

h-k @harrysbumjr @harry-daddario@highwarlok@highwarlockkareena@hoteldumorts@hufflebee@hufflepufflightwood@idiotgonewrong@iconicmagnus@jimonau@jaceslewis@jinlightwood@jacehvrondale

l-n @lightwoody @lookingforalicante @madzie-bane @malectric @malecisright @malecstele@maiasunshineroberts @malecsangel @malecwings@magnuslights @magnusbones @mgnusbaene @magswoods @magnusbaene @magicbane @mcgnus-bane @magnificentmalec @magnus-banes @magnusbaex @magicalmagnus @matthewdaddarino @magnuslightswood@meliorn @ncodangelo

o-t @summeralec @softjimon @sapphicclary @softbimagnus @softmags @sunlightwood @softmagnusbane @shadowhunting @softshumjr @softdaddario @sunshinejace @stutteringalec @paranoidalec @perpetualmalec @patronusmagnus @princemagnusbane @raphaels-daylighter @rattlingstar @the-magnus-effect @tatooinegay @thedownworld @themagnusbane @victaj

Late night conversations
  • Ciel: why can't potatoes talk
  • Sebastian: young master, go to bed pls
  • Ciel: b-but potatoes... just why
  • Alois: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP PHANTOMHIVE STOP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT I'M TIRED
  • Ciel: FINE THEN I WISH MY ROOM MATE WAS A POTATO AND NOT YOU TRANCY
  • Claude: SHUT UP BRATS. EVEN DEMONS NEED TO SLEEP. I WILL SLIDE YOUR THROATS IF YOU DON'T CLOSE YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS
  • Ciel: FINE THEN
  • Alois: WHATEVER
  • Sebastian: *sighs*
2

Look I’m not saying that @evenbechnet is psychic but I’m not saying we aren’t either.

Our evil satanic Overlord Mikael may or may not have possessed the group chat as far back as 12.02.17.

All of this was foreseen.

if u ever need to know just how pure™ hila klein is just remember the time in the pewdiepie vlog where ethan drew a swastika on pewdiepies t shirt and hila turned it into a smiley face

or the time where ethan were talking about how he felt fat and she said that her mom told her that she calls it ‘healthy’ not fat 

or the time ethan said he wished some guy who liked jeff dunham stubbed his toe and hila said that you cant wish anything bad on anyone 

or when ethan said he was scared of not being funny anymore and she said that it was impossible and shell always think hes funny 

or when they were watching that m*tt h*ss video and she defended the girl in the video saying that m*tt was the one who wrote her shitty character so it wasn’t the female character’s fault 

tbh i could go on forever pls protect her 

dpdgamzee  asked:

idk if youre still doing them buT,, Rate my bf gamby pls?? :'^|

Originally posted by zeeriousbeeswax

FIRST IMPRESSION: I’ve loved Gamzee since the first moment I saw him in the Homestuck comic. It’s been 74 years since i’ve watched/read any of that thing but i’ll be darned if I denied my everlasting love for this bOY

-Great cuddler and would probably make you want to stay in bed for the rest of the day

-Lazy days with him are the king of all dates

-Next to that is walks along the beach

-Chill and funny and sweet and I wish the fandom/half of the people who see him didn’t hate on him or remain angry at him due to his appearance in a few doomed timelines and after a sudden and sharp relapse into himself when he was forced to quit an addiction cold-turkey with no help or support :/ 

-hOnK :o)

RATING: 100/10 the best unicycle-riding husband and the only clown i’m not terrified of

phantom of the opera songs: a summary
  • prologue: flashback time noot noot
  • overture: DUUUUUUUUUUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN
  • think of me: frick that shit's high
  • angel of music: stalkers make great music teachers
  • little lotte: throwback thursday
  • the mirror: who dis bitch think he is?
  • the phantom of the opera: in case you didn't know who the guy with the mask was
  • the music of the night: vibrattos you into loving me
  • prima donna: stop singing at the same time it's not dramatic it's confusing
  • all i ask of you: pls love me
  • all i ask of you (reprise): why don't you love me?
  • masquerade: obligatory group number
  • wishing you were somehow here again: i goofed up
  • don juan triumphant: opera for bad asses
  • past the point of no return: this is a euphemism for sex
  • down once more: yep totally a stalker
  • finale: gross sobbing

anonymous asked:

hey do you know of any good robin cross fics? is there any lmao?

sadly anon, i don’t think there are many fics of her? robin content is scarce in this fandom. we need to fix this. although, it’s funny that you mention this since i’ve recently bookmarked a fic about her but haven’t gotten around to reading it. i just saw robin cross and i was like *heart eyes* here’s the link.

I’ll also link you to some ficlets on tumblr:
untitled ficlet by badacts
all we ever knew by theordinaryvegan (neil and robin friendship!!)
untitled drabble by wesawbears

Edit:
There’s another one on ao3!
Running Regrets

she does make small cameos in a few andreil fics i’ve read. (i’m gonna have to dig for those so let me know if you’re interested in that)

WHY

WHY

DOES

SEEMINGLY

NO

ONE

IN

THIS

FANDOM

TALK

ABOUT

GIRIPAN

?!

?!?!?!?!

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

“We are late bloomers”

They are the good souls amongst the servants of the famous series “Downton Abbey”. A meeting with cook Mrs Patmore and housekeeper Mrs Hughes.
You could sit with them in a local pub or have a picnic. Lesley Nicol, born 1953, and Phyllis Logan, born 1956, are two outgoing Brits who are still amazed that half of the world is interested in them and their show. Including the Duchess of Cambridge, Michelle Obama and George Clooney.
Strictly speaking, their names only mean something to the biggest fans. But they are much more present in their “Downton Abbey” roles. In the series, the residents of the impressive manor (the show is set around the First World War) have to deal with the fast approaching modern times and the changes of british society. But so far the separation between upstairs, the world of the aristocratic Crawley family, and the downstairs servants, stays intact. In their roles, Nicol and Logan are two of the main characters downstairs. Nicol plays Mrs Patmore, the cook. Logan is Mrs Hughes, the housekeeper. Patmore has a big heart and knows why she has to be strict with her kitchen maids: her cooking represents the Crawley family, it’s their business card. During the course of the series she becomes friends with Mrs Hughes who’s also not a very relaxed character but loyal and discreet. Whoever has a problem at Downton best talks to Mrs Hughes.
Maybe the success of Downton Abbey can be explained by our love to watch people have a relaxed cup of tea while we are used to drink coffee, drive a car and check our e-mails at the same time. Maybe it’s the punchlines that are perfect for each character. Although sometimes they are better suited for a different character than originally planned, as Nicol and Logan tell us during the interview at the Hamburg “Hyatt” Hotel. We are sitting on a comfortable couch and are having some water. “Frizzante? What’s Frizzante?” Nicol asks and looks at the bottle of water in front of us. Or is it the british aristocracy that fascinates fans of “Downton Abbey”?

Keep reading

My only wish is that when donald trump puts his hand on the bible to be sworn in, it instantly catches fire. Not the bible itself, but his hand. 

2

JuicyFruitKnowles: nick….

My Oxygen: Yes B

JuicyFruitKnowles: wyd

My Oxygen: in this hot ass car :( im sleepy where are u

JuicyFruitKnowles: Im at this stupid ass basketball game im about to astral project 

MyOxygen: lmaooo why u keep agreein to go when u know how u feel about sports

JuicyFruitKnowles: bc i look cute in the lighting ANYWAY i miss u

MyOxygen: :( i miss u too just leave early

JuicyFruitKnowles: I cant my ass fell asleep and if i get up rn im gonna walk funny  & u not even home whats the point??

MyOxygen: im almost home! im waiting for my food

JuicyFruitKnowles: U got food….w/o me……..im breakin up w/ u

MyOxygen: pls crybaby ass i got u somethin and i wish u would leave u love me so much

JuicyFruitKnowles: Im usin u for sex

MyOxygen: shut up!!

JuicyFruitKnowles: I am

MyOxygen: if anything im usin u peaches ;)

JuicyFruitKnowles: whatever!! the point is im bored these shoes hurt my ass sleep this skirt too tight and now im hongry and horny

MyOxygen: make julius walk u out. come home & get changed & eat w me

JuicyFruitKnowles: U leavin out the horny part

MyOxygen: Beyoncé Knowles.

JuicyFruitKnowles: what are u wearing baby

MyOxygen: OK BYE BEYONCÉ WE NOT DOING THIS U PROBABLY ON CAMERA JUST COME HOME

anonymous asked:

thoughts on galacticdeer? pls be honest

*please

And

THEY ARE AN AMAZING BEAUTIFUL GIRL WHOS VERY FUNNY AND I LOVE TALKING TO HER AND REALLY WISH THAT I LIVE CLOSER TO HER SO I CUDDLE HER AND KISS HER AND BE THERE FOR HER BECAUSE SHE IS LITERALLY AN ANGEL AND GAAAH SHES JUST TOO PERFECT-

shinsmile  asked:

Hey! Can I please get a ship with BTS and Ikon? I'm Ana, 4'11" almost 5', Virgo, I'm pale like a ghost lol, not skinny but not fat, long curly brown hair. I love reading, cooking and eating XD, i'm good with a toolbox. My personality could be described as chill, a bit funny and sarcastic. Dressing style I like to mix and match. I can speak 3 different languages and I live in Europe. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this, if the ask was not open pls ignore. Have a nice day.😊

Thank you so much! I wish you all the best:)

💕

-love, Kitty

In BTS I ship you with Suga. He’s a relaxed and talented person just like you and you’d definitely get along well. He’d be super impressed by your language ability and would want to spend a lot of time with you cooking or chilling.

Originally posted by bangtan

In iKon I ship you with Donghyuk. He’s known to want a girl that is around 5 feet tall. What is more, he’s chilled and can be sarcastic as well. You’d be perfect for each other.

Originally posted by ikonis

minyoongislaysme  asked:

Heyhey, i'm such a trash for mamamoo but i can't find many mamamoo blogs, do you maybe know some good mamamoo blogs? Thank youuu~ ^_^

Heck yeah I do

@mmmoofic - they post links to mamamoo fics on aff and ao3 (i think they’re still in the works tho)

@monommm - moomoo artist her fanart is really cute and amazing pls check her out im not even joking pls go and follow

@queerbyul - her gifs are so good and they’re mostly wheebyul (i scream)

@platumoon - mamamoo/moonsun artist semi-realistic-ish fanart which really makes me want to cry and how good it is

@pokoppang - another moomoo artist that makes fricken cute art that can save lives with how good it is tbh

@byul94world - her tags are funny and she’s really nice (even tho we’ve never talked lol i want to talk more with other moomoos)

@mamamooheadcanons - this place is like a gold mine constantly churning out fic ideas and some of the posts are really funny so pls follow them

@mmm-smukk18 - will save your life im serious they post very regularly about the girls fanvids and anything related to mamamoo and the content is always A+++

@hanahakis - just found out abt this recently its more like a collab blog for 2 amazing fanfic writers i love them they write so well (and there’s jeongmi which is as rare and hwasun)

@tgcxmmm - on hiatus but she’s done a lot for the fandom by helping to translate memos and we all respect her as senpai

@flowerization - moomoo artist and meme af. her art is super meme i love her a must-follow blog pls go and follow

@birbyonce - draws moonsun but not also draws for other fandoms like cosmic girls (wjsn) and they’re all so good

@captainhwasa - makes gifs and edits 10/10 recommend u to follow

@wheeinthisish - super funny sometimes i die laughing because of her gifs are amazing i cry

@ahyejin - her fanfics can heal your soul and she writes for all mmm ships and she’s a hwasa stan her positivity for the maknae is infectious pls follow her

@wheeimple - calls herself old and a granny but her sense of humour is so on point i wish my grandma was like her. makes gifs (amazing ones) and is a translator at @mamamoo-trans which u should also check out btw

@light-giver - moonsun trash always screaming in gay for mamamoo shes wonderful

@karoumamoo - legendary mamamoo fanfic author her stories were what inspired me to write along with every other moomoo writer here f o l l o w her

@mumoos - makes a lot of gifs and edits i dont even know where to start go and check her blog out

@velvetmoos - essential to follow. legit. this blog can save lives. extremely well-organised and just i have no words except follow them

@paperheart-amber - posts about other fandoms but is also 100% mamamoo trash her tags are proof of that

@sun-byul - always screaming in ghei for moonsun also her tags are entertaining to read they make my day

@nnnechu - hhhNNNNGGGS HER ART makes me speechLESS ok its good enough to be put next to the moan of lisa 100% quality content

@moonbyulismine - wise af and her tags save my cats from going extinct go follow her pls

im pretty sure there’s a lot more but im just tired from school and i need to rest cuz im sick too so maybe next time (i hope i didnt misgender anyone and if i did im so sorry) PEACE OUT