i wish i have a relationship like this

How to Love Like Us (Ethan x Reader)

Description:  Ethan is asked to join his ex for a sit down video for a YouTube channel where they are instructed to ask each other about their relationship.  As they move through their conversation, travelling through the past, a question comes up that has yet to be discussed.  The response Ethan receives is one he never expected.

Word Count: 2,862

Warnings: Talk of depression. Language.

 A/N: This is based off of YouTube videos such as Hurt Bae and other couple one on one interviews with each other.  Thank you to @scuteedolans for encouraging me with writing this piece.  In this Ethan is about 20-21 years old.  I hope you enjoy it!


 Your POV:

It had been 6 months since I had last seen him.  I knew that we were about to enter the room at the same time to sit in those chairs, face to face, with nothing just a stack of questions and never-ending eye contact.  Sat in the center of a nearly empty room were two, tall director’s chairs set so that we would be across from each other.  A couple cameras were set up to record with the camera men standing behind them, just waiting for us to take our places.

I never thought that I would be in one of these “exes ask questions’ videos, but when I was told that Ethan was asked to do one, I felt like I at least owed it to him after the way we left off, so reluctantly I agreed to do it with him.

           “Y/n, are you ready?” I turned to face the producer who had set this whole thing up.  I’m sure my eyes were filled with fear and hesitancy.

           I took a deep breath and nodded my head.  Was I actually ready to face him?  Did I have enough time to prepare myself for what was to come?  I wasn’t told ahead of time what these questions were going to be.  It was obvious that there would be questions that would catch me off guard or would be ones that I didn’t want to answer, but I signed the form that I would be completely honest and open throughout the whole thing.

           “Is Ethan in place?” she said as she pressed the ear piece closer, waiting for the answer.  “Okay, perfect, let’s get ready.” She placed her hand on my shoulder, “You’re going to do great.  We can take breaks when needed and you don’t have to ask to get up.” Her hand gave me a quick squeeze.  “Do you need a tissue?” she handed it to me without waiting for my response.

           I looked at my feet the whole time I walked to my seat, too many thoughts racing through my mind for me to comprehend.  Once I was standing next to the chair, I looked up to meet Ethan’s eyes.  He looked at me with a warmth that made my heart skip a beat the same way it did the first time he ever looked at me.

           We both picked up the notecards from our seats before finally sitting down.  It took me a solid 30 seconds to adjust in my seat whereas it only took Ethan a moment to find a comfortable position.  He tapped his cards against his thigh to straighten them up, his eyes still trained on mine.

           “Would you like me to go first?” he asked quietly.

           “Yes, please.” My voice could hardly be heard. It was like my voice had caught up in my throat.

           “Okay.” He lifted the first card, reading it to himself before sharing it with me.  A small smile formed at the corner of his lips, “How did we first meet?” he placed the card at the back of the stack.

           I laugh a bit at the memory, “We were both at Best Buy.” He flashed a toothy smile, “You and Grayson were looking for a new camera while I was looking for a new lens.”

           “Grayson was doing all of the work while I was taking pictures of myself on each camera.” Ethan filled in the next part, shaking his head at himself.

           “You kept trying to take selfies with me in the background to make me feel uncomfortable, but it didn’t work.” I added, thinking back to that day.  I had noticed Ethan moving from camera to camera, turning it toward his face and snapping picture after picture.

           “And you,” he pointed right at me, “finally posed for a picture.  You flipped me off in the background.” He broke out in a small fit of laughter.

           I nodded, “I did.  You deserved it.”

           “You’re right I did.” He paused before nodding at the cards in my hands.

           Flipping the top one over I read it aloud without taking a look for myself.  I figured that it would be a better idea to just get it out.  “Did I ever do anything that made you question whether we were supposed to be together or not?  If so, what was it?”  The question rolled off my tongue much easier than it would have if I had read it in my head first.

           A frown formed on his face, his eyebrows knitting together.  He was taking a while to respond and it was making me more nervous than it probably should have.  “Nothing you ever did made me question us being together.  You were everything I hoped for and more.”

           My lips tightened, folding in as I tried to fight back the emotions I was feeling.  He said it in such a light tone, but the hurt that was in his eyes made my heart want to explode.  I tried to find the words to respond with, but there it was like fireworks, response after response exploding in my mind but fizzling away all too soon.

           Before I could even say anything he read his next card, “If you could describe our sex life in 3 words, what would they be?” I was surprised at how well he held it together as he asked.  I knew that he wanted to explode with laughter by the playfulness in his eyes.

           I bit my lip to suppress my grin, “Amazing, loving, and…” I tapped my chin, “adventurous.” I absent mindedly played with a piece of hair that was brushing against my face.

           “Oooh, adventurous!” he wigged his eyebrows and shoulders at the same time.  I immediately hid my face in my hands, embarrassed yet amused by his response.  “Don’t be so shy!” he leaned forward and gently hit my leg with his cards.

           “I can’t help it!” I argued, pulling out my next card, “What’s your favorite memory of us?”

           “Oh I don’t even have to think about this one!” he clapped his hands together.  “My favorite memory is the time we went on the jet ski and I let you drive it for the first time ever.  It was only a minute in and you knocked us into the water!”

           “I was so excited!  Guess the excitement got the best of me.” I giggled like a school girl.

           He shook his head, laughing, “When we came up we realized that you flooded the engine somehow so we had to swim it back to shore which took like a half hour.”

           “Then we got to the dock and you refused to help me out until I admitted that it was all my fault.  So when you finally helped me out I pushed you back in.”

           “And you told me it was out of love.  And I just knew, that I couldn’t let you go that day. I’ve never felt the way you made me feel.” He laughed, throwing his head back.  “God, no one could love the way we loved.  No one knew how to love like us.”

           “We did have an epic love.” I admitted, wishing I could relive all the moments we shared.

           “Next question.  What was your first impression of me?” he raised an eyebrow.

           I shrugged, “That you were a goon.  A cute goon, but a goon none the less.”

           “You loved every bit of this!” he held his hands out as if to say, ‘look at me’.

           I shook my head, heat rising to my cheeks.  “Let’s move on.  Are you in a relationship now?” my chest tightened.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear his answer, but the question had already been asked and there was no taking it back.

           “No.” he answered.  Short, sweet, and to the point.  “Are you?” he retorted.

           “That’s not your question to ask, it’s mine.” I raised my brows at him.

           “So you are.” He deadpanned.

           “No.  I haven’t talked to any other guy since you.  But it was my question to ask, so…” I made a childish face, placing the card at the back of the stack.

           He chuckled, “Always have to be sarcastic don’t you?”  I shrugged in response, “I miss your sarcasm.”  We both got silent.  He immediately looked down at his next card, “What was your favorite thing about me?

           “Your smile.” I responded.  “Your smile when you were excited, your smile when you were happy, your smile when I told a horrible joke, when we rode rollercoasters, when we were at comedy movies.  The way you smiled for me when I was sad and when I needed courage.  You’re smile whenever we were together.  I love your smile.”

           He purposely grinned from ear to ear.  He kept moving his head back and forth to make sure that I saw each angle of his infamous smile.  Of course I laughed because almost everything he does makes me feel an unexplainable joy that was unique to only him.

           “You were the reason I smiled.” Of course he had to pull on my heart strings a little more.  I was already feeling numerous different emotions and his actions and comments were only making those feelings stronger.

           “You were the reason I smiled.” I answered truthfully. Again we shared a moment of silence before moving on.  “What is the one thing you regret about our relationship or regret not doing during it?” I asked.  Why did these questions have to go so deep?

           His head turned to the side, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth.  He kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn’t get himself to turn to me.  I let him take his time; I didn’t want to rush him.  “I regret not telling you I loved you more.  You deserved more ‘I love yous’.  I wish I would have told you how much I love you every second of every day.”

           The tears finally started to well up in my eyes as he finally looked at me.  The Kleenex that had been sitting on my lap was now in my hands, ready to soak up any tears when they finally fell.  He had seen me cry enough already during the breakup, I didn’t want him to see me cry again.

           I pushed myself up from the chair, setting the cards down on the seat.  My feet carried me out of the view of the camera and off set.  Ethan didn’t follow me, he remained in his seat, his head turned back to the side again, only this time his eyes were focused on the floor. I could feel my heartrate picking up and my breathing going deeper than it had in the past 6 months.  My hands were covering my face as I took the time to collect myself.  It was a solid 3 minutes before I built up the courage to return to my seat.

           “Sorry for making you wait.” I mumbled as I returned to my position.

           He shrugged, “It’s okay, you needed a break. I didn’t mind.  I’ll always wait for you.”

           I tried to ignore his comment because there was only so much more I could take before I had a full on meltdown.  “It’s your turn.” I gestured towards the final card in his hand.

           “Oh, yeah.” He whispered.  “Okay, my last question is… Why did we break up?” his voice trailed off at the end.  “I don’t even know the answer to this question; you broke up with me and never told me why.” The curiosity in his voice was almost over shadowed by the pain.

           When we broke up there were so many things going on in my mind and when I made the decision I just left him with only a few words spoken and a thousand tears shed.  He deserved more than that but I was too much of a coward to tell him the reason.

           “I… I broke up with you because… I just…” I stuttered through my words.  I never thought the day would come where we would be sitting face to face with nowhere to run, and I would be forced to answer this question.  “I broke up with you because I wasn’t okay.  I was filled with a sadness that couldn’t be lifted.  It weighed heavy on my heart.  There were things that were going on in my life that I didn’t share with you because I know how easily worried you get.  I was just so sad.”

           “I could have helped you.  Why didn’t you tell me?  We could have worked through it together!” his voiced raised a bit but not too much.

           “Ethan…” I took a deep breath.  “Ethan, you were the only thing that could make me happy, but when you were gone my world got darker.  Do you know how scary that is?  How scary it is to know that you are depending on one person to bring happiness into your life?”

           “If you would have told me…”

           I cut him off, “If I would have told you that would have put pressure on you.  Pressure that you didn’t deserve.  I needed to learn to be okay on my own.  I can’t depend on someone all my life.  It was up to me to choose the path, it was up to me to choose recovery, and it was up to me to let you continue on your journey without me holding you back. There were many times I wanted to call you.  I wanted to tell you what was going on.  I wanted to ask you to rescue me.  But I had to be my own hero.”

           He ran his hand through his hair, a frazzled sigh leaving his mouth.  “What happened?” he whispered.

           “I was depressed.  At first I thought that there must have been something to trigger it, but there wasn’t. Sometimes people just get sad and there’s no explanation.  I started to pick apart everything in my life.  I wasn’t happy with the way I looked.  I was constantly searching for flaws on myself; it was almost an addiction for me.  I hated my job.  I chose to do what my parents wanted me to do.  I’m an accountant!  I fucking hate numbers!  I wanted to be a writer, I wanted to tell the stories built up in my imagination!  I wanted to tell our story!  And… I thought I wasn’t good enough for you.” Once I finished I took a deep breath.  I closed my eyes so that I could just breathe.  The silence allowed me to hear my own heartbeat, my pulse pounding in my head. I could hear Ethan’s breathing. It was a sweet rhythm that brought me peace faster than anyone else could.

           “You were always enough for me.” I felt his hand take mine in his.  “You are always going to be enough for me.”

           “But in my head I wasn’t even enough for myself.” I made eye contact with him.  “And I deserve to be enough for myself.”  I turned his hands over and traced the lines imprinted in them.

           “How do you feel now?” he asked, his eyes watching my fingers dance against his skin.

           I smiled, “These past 6 months I’ve been working on myself. A big part of it goes into my writing. I’m almost done with the first draft. I’m happier now.  It’s a work in progress, but there have been many successes.”

           “I’m happy that you’re feeling better and I’m happy you’re writing again.” He encouraged me, “I hope you continue to do so.”

           “I haven’t finished it quite yet…” I lifted my fingers from his hand, leaning back against the chair.  He leaned back as well, looking hurt that I pulled away.  “There’s one more question by the way.”

           “Hit me.” He said, tapping his hands against his legs.

           “It says… Do you still love me?” my hands tightened around the card.  “You don’t have to answer that.”

           He held up his hand, “I will always love you.  You were my world.”

           “And you were my world.”

           We sat there, eyes connected, voices off.  The workers dimmed the lights around us, leaving us in a peaceful darkness.  The cameras were turned off, all of the room was silent.  I stood up and Ethan mirrored my actions, our eyes still trained on each other’s.  He stepped forward, his hand sliding up my neck, delicately pulling me closer to him. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against mine.  I could hear the shuffling of feet carrying the camera men away, leaving us two alone.

           “God, I’ve missed you.” He whispered.  I could feel his warm breath against my lips.

           “And I, you.” My fingers lifted and played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

           “Please, come home.” I could feel his thumb moving in circles against my skin.

           “Okay.” I whispered, lifting my head a bit.

           “I told you.  I’d always wait for you.” He kissed me softly, whole heartedly, and gently. And although I never quit loving him, I somehow managed to fall even more in love.


..

I’ve come to realize that men don’t value a friendship from me of any kind. I dislike when straight girls use that whole “I want a gay best friend thing” but in truth, the only two guy friends I have are both gay. Every other guy ends up liking me or wanting to date from the beginning and they get offended when they realize I’m not interested like that. I wish men put less emphasis on getting “friend zoned”. Platonic friendships exist but I’m not seeing it around me

Chester Bennington, 

Your music got me through the worst of days, growing up in a dysfunctional family playing pretend perfect, you got me through the days where I was isolated by my peers in school and literally treated like garbage by my teachers. Your music and your songs helped me in my darkest days of my depression and onwards up till now coping with my other mental illnesses. You got me through so much pain within an abusive relationship and you even became my favourite meme for quite awhile (crawling in my crawl). You helped not just me but many people through so much, and I wish that there was something we as fans could have given you in return to help you make it through as well. Wherever you are, I hope you’re in a better place and will finally rest in peace. Thank you for everything you gave to us, you will be sorely missed..

- Green (from @the-isolated-system)

anonymous asked:

I love both exo and red velvet but I can't watch the encore stage.. They are so painfully awkward with each other. I think there's only like three members who are genuinely friends. I wish they had a relationship like SuJu and SNSD or f(x) and Shinee.

exo have like a grand total of 3 friends outside their own group that’s why they’re so relatable

2

Brother and sister for life ❤️❤️❤️❤️

This is for anyone who can’t really relate to Mother’s Day sentiments due to cutting themselves off from toxic parents. Eternal hugs to all of you. I personally haven’t spoken to my mom in over 4 years so it’s always kinda white noise for me when this time comes around. Always remember your feelings are VALID.

“But she’s your MOM.” has to be one of the most insensitive, ignorant, pious fucking statements I’ve ever heard too many times in my life. I can’t stand people who say that to me.

It’s really so generalizing and damaging when people say things like “But they’re you’re family…” as though that mandates that you to continue to enable someone to treat you horribly. IT’S NOT OK.

For those of you who are still dealing with toxic family members, even more hugs to you. It’s a difficult path and we all have our own journey. I wish you strength and peace. You’ll get there.

Much love.

  • The Last of Us: about an old depressed man with an awesome scruffy beard and a badass female sidekick; and they're off to kill shit (with feels)
  • Logan: about an old depressed man with an awesome scruffy beard and a badass female sidekick; and they're off to kill shit (with feels)
  • Samurai Jack S5: about an old depressed man with an awesome scruffy beard and a badass female sidekick; and they're off to kill shit (with feels)
Highlights from Firebringer
  • duck is lord 
  • sexuality and female empowerment being treated as a given, instead of being ignored or poorly represented as much of popular media currently does
  • the whole cast swearing like sailors 
  • the music (hello, percussion!), choreography, and costume/set/puppet design 
  • “all hail emberly, the fire shitter”
  • Brian Holden’s lone nipple 
  • the new cast members: Lauren Walker (Molag) being absolutely hilarious & having an amazing stage presence; Jamie Burns (Chorn) having the voice of a goddess; and Tiffany Williams (Tiblyn) being the cutest human being ever
  • shameless kissing 
  • “i don’t really want to do any work today” - same, Zazzalil, same
  • clark baxtresser blessing us with his presence since prehistoric times
  • rachael spanking joey
  • the shadowpuppets during “the night belongs to snarl”
  • THE GAY
  • schwoopsie inventing stand-up comedy 
  • privileged fucks becoming the starkid slogan of 2k17

October of 2015 I found the photo on the left and posted it. Guaranteed I was thinking how cute it was and I really hoped I would have something like that. Fast forward two years, I’m living out the relationship goals I so badly wished for. I found my nerd, somebody who has similar interests as me, and someone I can just spend a day cuddled up and playing Pokémon. Life is good.

the bold type was so unprecedented like i watched that first episode n kat is all “ahhh im a proud hetero u kno :-)” and i rly thought that was gonna be the end of it! i thought it was gonna go the exact way of all “str8 woman meets a lesbean n thinks she’s being hit on” content where theres clear chemistry that every queer on earth picks up on but str8s cant see and that would be it! and i just kind of resigned myself to the fact that this was just gonna be another feminist=str8 girl power shows

but then the intro to the second episode was like “no kat is entirely smitten! this plot line is not only ongoing but going to take up a third of the shows action!” yall i was YELLING and im really not exaggerating when i say i have never seen this kind of queer female rep….ever

this relationship. is btwn 2 woc. one of whom is a practicing muslim lesbian who wears the hijab (and as the sapphic love interest of color for the questioning main is everything that uhhhh floriana LIAR wishes she/sanvers ship was and thats the tea!)

and one of whom is a biracial Black woman who very realistically questions her orientation and its just…..the thing abt it is she’s so excited to figure this out! She’s confused and doesn’t rly know how to handle these feelings but she’s still havin fun on the journey! shes just havin a good time! and i have NEVER seen that before. the coming out process is always framed as this painful horrible excruciating sad process and at times yeah it is but other times? it’s nice. sometimes it is really truly just Good and (for the moment) untouched by all the sad parts str8 society forces on us.

and when kat tells her friends that shes questioning they just…support her? sutton says “we have to unpack this!” all excitedly bc she rly just wants to help! she wants to help kat figure it out bc she’s just a genuinely good friend! she’s! not! trying! to! label! kat!

jane lets kat fish a yoni egg out of her vag in a scene that WASN’T framed as a “haha were all just So Straight this isnt even weird! Like I love straight we can act so gay and just Be Straight u kno :)” like literally 3 seconds before kat was talkin abt how she might be into girls n jane still asks her to take it out AND doesn’t make any “haha don’t enjoy this TOO much :-)” type jokes or seem uncomfortable abt anything besides the fact that her friend has a hand inside her vagina like….in this age of Bad allyship where “”“”“"friendly”“”“”“ homophobia has kind of? Become? A thing? hell nope this scene and this friendship changed my whole ass life!!

I am standing right here in front of you, pouring my heart, my soul out for you.
You’re just standing there, watching watching me give everything I’ve got, giving it all to you. I try so hard, harder than anyone ever has, just for you to notice me, hoping you will reach out to me. Wishing you would just love me in all the ways I love you, wishing you cared like how you used to care, wishing you would care like I still do. You promised, promised me you will never allow me to feel isolated, but that’s exactly what you have done.
—  Tenari ioapo // Do you still care about me the way you said you always would?
TFP characters as dril tweets
  • Optimus Prime: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Ratchet: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
  • Bumblebee: 1st grade: Mastered. 2nd Grade: MAstered. 3rd Grade: Mastered. 4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you 5th Grade:This ones hard
  • Arcee: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian
  • Bulkhead: i fear my tropical fish no longer respect me after i accidetnally stumbled backwards & smushed my ass hole right up against their $3000 tank
  • Wheeljack: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • Cliffjumper: priest plugs my coffin in at the end of the funeral. “MILLERTIME” lights up in neon on the side, desecrating my corpse & sending me to hell
  • Smokescreen: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler out of the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Ultra Magnus: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
  • Jack: yes trolls. unlike you, i have a brain. its called a " JOB "
  • Raf: downloading shit loads of counterfeit papa john coupons through unsecure wifi net works
  • Miko: DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, old man
  • Jane Darby: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Fowler: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to stop tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Megatron: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • Stascream: I just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
  • Soundwave: im the guy who airbrushes the nipples out of pro wrestling ads. i make $85k a year. but i have a secret *removs shades to reveal nipple eyes
  • Knockout: I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad” , “its ineffective” fuck off
  • Breakdown: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit
  • Arachnid: i will tell you this right now: I'm from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
  • Shockwave: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
  • Predaking: please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so I may bless/heal them. ill be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit
  • Dreadwing: (the trolls watch in astonishment as the milk shake they threw at me flawlessly bounces off of my head wwith minimal pain and mess involved)
  • Unicron: *all horrors begotten by the desire of man flash before eyes* woha! this is awkward *the cries of millions suffering echo* Damn That's Weird
transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017.
Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through.
To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started.

As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

Keep reading

Long Distance Love Jars.

Originally posted by riding-the-wavez

So, this was requested by @moonieraver and it is something I had already had the workings of written in my Google Docs. 

This is something that hits very close to home for me. My wife and I spent years in an international LDR (we met on Tumblr years ago, actually!) so I know the ups and the downs, the ins and the outs of LDRs. So while I don’t normally do requests anymore, I had this one mostly written and I can’t say no to something so close to my heart.

This can either be done when you are together physically, or over Skype (bc I know you live on FaceTime), whatever is best for the two of you! 

  • lavender - happiness
  • rosemary - love 
  • chamomile - balance 
  • thyme - courage
  • cedar chips/shavings - confidence in each other

Starting out, light a candle that you want to seal your jar with (if you want to seal it– you can use anything you can close up and wont spill these things out) and stating your intent. Imagine the flame and the heat spreading the intent through the candle.

Layer your ingredients, even maybe take time to talk to each other about how you see each layer manifesting itself in your relationship. You are welcome to include something of the other person’s as well in the jar, even if it is something that reminds you of them.

Close up your jar, seal it up if you are going to (I have an easy tutorial here if you need help!) You can also carve sigils into the wax or draw it on the jar if you would like to! 

If you feel like it ever needs a kick, don’t hesitate to stick in in the full moon light, I try to do this with any jars I am working with currently or want to keep using. 

Wishing you the best in this really tough situation– I know it sucks, it’s a long process and can definitely test any relationship. But I will say that any LDR I know that has worked out are the strongest couples I know. Magic is no replacement for commitment and hard work in a relationship, this just helps boost you along a bit easier. 

My other jars can be found here, and all my other original posts here

xoxo.

Dear future daughter,


I wanted to write this as a sort of time capsule, so that you would know how your mother was at sixteen and what I expect of you as my daughter.

I love music and singing, and I expect I’ll put you for music classes early on, unless you don’t like singing and composing which is completely okay.
You can quit and join karate or anything you want.
I won’t force you, instead I’ll let you find your own path in life, like my mom let me.

You wanna ride horses? Cool. I liked that too.
You wanna go for kickboxing and learn how to defend yourself? Cool.
You wanna do ballet and enthrall the audience with your magnificent coordination? Amazing.

Anything you want to do babe, I am hundred percent right behind you.

I am big on reading as well, and this may sound odd, but unlike dancing or singing, I would very much adore it if you loved reading as much as me.
I will introduce it gently of course, by telling you adventure stories I wrote for you, about bears and fairies, and any thing you like.
Then I would introduce all sorts of new books, the same ones my mom introduced to me,Malory Towers, St. Claires, Tin-Tin’s, Secret Seven and so on.
If you don’t like reading, I understand.
I hope you do, though.

I am really sorry but you may or may not have my acne.
I am so sorry, I know how much you suffer trying to talk to that cute boy who’s the next Zac Efron, or how hard you try to cover it up.
Or how much you cry over something that someone said about your skin.
I wish I could change things in that department but I can’t. You have combination skin just like me, and it only gets better everyday, and soon enough a beautiful sense of maturity and compassion will bloom, like those Violets you adore.

You might deal with a lot of appearance issues, and trust me, even all the way back in 2017, we still have them.
Let me tell you this, your weight is just the relationship you have with gravity.
It doesn’t define your intellect, beauty, the amount of love you can give to the universe around you.
W=m x g
That’s all weight is.
So eat that pizza, gobble that pancake and never starve yourself.
I am not saying don’t be healthy and exercise, oh no, but its okay to be kind to yourself once in a while.

Career.
Tricky.
I am not going to say I am not going to behind your grades, or behind you to keep them up, but I will give you a chance to improve if you mess up, which you will and thats okay.
That’s life.
To me, do what you love.
Do something that keeps you happy, something that keeps you interested.
Do something that makes you excited to walk into work.
I hope I am doing the same honestly.
To me, education is not just about books and grades, and the colleges you get into.
I’ve probably taken you to so many places in the world, and all that you’ve learned, all the food you’ve eaten, all the cultures you’ve experienced, that is what you have truly experienced. Of course, it won’t pay your bills and it sure as hell won’t help you get to college, but it will make you better citizens of this earth, better human beings, more accepting, less judgmental.

Love.
Oh my, honey, you are going to fall so hard.
For a broken boy with broken promises.
With the talented singer.
With the most popular boy in school.
With someone half way across the world.

In the end, after everyone, you will realize you don’t need to settle for someone who makes you feel terrible about yourself, you just need someone who treats you like the princess you are.
Trust me, its not the prettiest or the most popular that gets to be the keeper of your precious heart.

Of course, if you decide you don’t want to be in a relationship, that’s great.
You’re a strong independent woman who doesn’t need anyone to tell her how downright amazing she is.
(feminist alert! haha)

Trust me.
They are going to break you, shatter you, make you feel like you can never love again.
You will love again though.
Again and again.

(You can change the genders above to suit you)
I expect by the time you are old enough to realize who you love, who you’re attracted to, it won’t matter.
I hope for Goodness sakes, we live in progressive times.
If we don’t, I will love you no matter what, if you’re bi, demi, gender fluid or anyone.
I will love you the same.
Coming out will be the easiest thing you will ever have to do, I promise.

Religion
Well, I am an agnostic, but if you decide that you want to follow a religion I will allow it.
Preferably Hinduism because that would make my mom and dad, (your grandma and grandpa happy) but if its Buddhism, Christianity or any religion, be my guest.
Explore, decide and tell me.
I will respect you if you decide to believe in a higher power, because I think that takes a certain amount of strength.

I might get mad at you, scream, cry and you have to realize I am not perfect.
Far from it.
I just want you to be a nice, respectful and loving human being.
Your grades and talents are secondary to me.
Sure I might not buy everything you want me to, but I promise I will provide you with everything you need.

I need to leave now, but it’s been great getting to know you,
this is sixteen year old me signing out.

listen one of the BEST things about keith and shiro’s relationship is the fact that shiro is a young adult. shiro’s in his mid-twenties. he’s still in that ‘i should know what the fuck i’m doing by now but i don’t’ stage. that’s why keith sees him as an older brother figure and not a father figure. and tbh i find that dynamic so heartwarming and refreshing? because shiro isn’t old enough to be like a parent to keith, but he is old enough and mature enough to give keith all the advice he might have wished he’d gotten as a teenager. in a lot of ways, he treats keith as his equal and lets him handle his own problems and make his own bad choices. but when shit goes down he’s there to be the adult and handle it best he can.

also, rose wasn’t in the trailer at all, and they’ve been a) making a big deal about how she’s a big new role, and b) saying that her storyline and finn’s will be connected in the film.

which leads me to hope that the lack of rose- and the vagueness of finn’s appearance in the trailer- means that his/their storyline is integral to the plot and would give away too much.

everyone knows that rey was going to train with luke. it was safe for them to show us that. but finn’s storyline? it was left very much an open book at the end of tfa. they aren’t showing us much of him because to do so would be showing us too much before the film comes out. the same goes for kylo, poe, and leia. this trailer really didn’t give us much to work with besides some insight into luke and rey and their relationship with each other. and even that was vague.

so i’m cautiously optimistic about this trailer. it leaves a lot for us to think about and wonder, and doesn’t necessarily mean finn’s role in the story won’t be significant simply because he (like most of the characters in the trailer) didn’t get more than one short scene.

anonymous asked:

I just read proposal yesterday and thought it was so sweet! I was wondering if you have any fics you could recommend? Jimin is my bias but I'm pretty open to any members with the reader. Thanks and keep up the good work! Kep jarng! 😁

Aghh thank you so much, sweetheart! I’m so glad you enjoyed Proposals and I’m really flattered that you’re asking me for recommendations! :D Okay, here’s a list of my fave fics that you should check out if you haven’t already. So you aren’t confused, the stuff in italics is the synopsis/description the writer provided and the indented bit is me being incoherent and lame as always.

Sin City (Jimin x reader) by @btssmutgaloreAfter a run of bad luck, you can go back home and admit defeat or step out of your comfort zone and look for a job at Sin City.  

Hands down the best stripper au I’ve ever read. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from this fic because you never know where stripper AUs are going to go, but holy moly am I glad I gave this a chance. You will be addicted to this fic. Jimin’s character has so much depth, but he’s such an enigma at the same time and I’m dying to know what the heck he’s thinking/what his background is. The tension is so drawn out and the sessy scenes are all so different, which is really refreshing to read and you don’t know what’s going to come next. ALSO, I feel like there’s a lot of empowerment and respect in this fic, which makes me so happy. Love love love this fic with my entire being. 

Monster (Jeongguk x reader) by @btssmutgalore: You sleep with an obnoxious fratboy who used to be your friend.

This fic is perfection. It doesn’t have a complicated plot, but it’s still so interesting to read and the smut is A++++. Jeongguk’s character has so many facets and though he has a lot of issues to sort through, I’m rooting for him and the OC so much. 

Purple Jewels (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @jiminniemouse: When you fall in love with Jungkook and he isn’t there to catch you, a sudden surprise shows up to give you a little bit of help.

GENIE!JIMIN. AKLSDJFKLAASKDJFLK (I really tried not to keyboard smash but fuck I lose my shit because of how much I love this fic). Oh man, where do I even begin with this?? It’s my absolute favourite Jimin x reader fic and one of my absolute fave fics in general because it’s written so well, it’s creative, the characters are interesting, AND THE TENSIONNNN. I come so close to combusting with each part and I’m dying for more. Also Jimin’s character is so sweet and I love him so much (where can I find myself a genie Jimin???). Please please please read this!

Hiraeth (Jeongguk/Taehyung x reader) by @jungkxookA world full of dwindling hope and lost loves and yet you and Jungkook are all the other needs to feel at home. 

This is the first member x reader fic I ever read and IT IS THE BEST THING EVER. EVER. It’s a zombie apocalypse au and it’s so angsty and sometimes it feels like my heart has been punched out of my chest and it’s such a wonderful feeling even though it hurts like hell. The world is constructed so believably and there are so many well thought out details to it, so when you’re reading it feels REAL. All the characters are different and you never know what’s going to happen next. I can’t recommend reading this enough, it is freaking incredible (and the love triangle is fucking me up so bad).

Philophobia (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @minsvgasex has its consequences, always; whether for better or for worse, sex always has its consequences. and the drunken rendezvous you have with your best friend is not an exception.

This is discontinued but it’s still worth reading because it’s so freaking hot and I love the plot and just??? I don’t usually read fuckboy fics because fuckboys are the bane of human existence, but this fic is amazing and the smut is awesome. Also be prepared to not know who you’re rooting for. One second I would want Jimin to win the OC’s heart and the next I wanted Jeongguk to end up with her, so brace yourself for conflicting feelings.

Company (Namjoon x reader) by @fireheart-namjoon​: Sometimes all you want is a bit of company.

OKAY before I scream about the sessy stuff in this fic, I really want to say that I fucking loved Namjoon’s characterization in this and it’s so nice to read an OC who is strong and independent. The writing style is absolutely fantastic and the thigh riding was 100000/10.

Retrograde (Jeongguk x reader) by @remembeofantasy!au

When I read this I feel the way I do on rainy, dark days when I’m reading a book and just slip away into the world on the page. The details and the way this is written are so mesmerizing and I want to know more. You’re so swept away by everything that you completely forget about the reality for a little while.

A Roadtrip (Jeongguk x reader) by @taeinmycupJungkook makes your planned roadtrip to Busan a bit messy.

Road trip fics never get old and neither does the childhood-friends-to-lovers plot either. This was a wonderful fic to indulge in and um the frick frack is pretty damn nice. Just saying.

Sutures and Stitches (Jeongguk x reader) by @hayjeon​: hitman!jeongguk and medstudent!Y/N bestfriends!au; Jeongguk always shows up to your place or hospital whenever he gets hurt because you guys are best friends and you patch him up, but he has no idea that every time you stitch up his wounds, it tears open new wounds in your own heart.

I recently read this and I am OBSESSED. I refresh the OP’s page daily just to make sure I didn’t miss an update. The writing is so detailed and Jeongguk’s character is so interesting, I just want to know what the heck happens next + how Jeongguk ended up with this kind of life.

Chrysalism (Jimin x reader) by @workofteaguk: Bookstores have always lured you in with the promise of the quiet, the serene, and, most recently, him.

THIS IS THE SWEETEST FREAKING THING AND I WISH IT WERE LONGER. It made my entire day when I read it and I was smiling the entire time. Where do I have to go to find a cute boy like this???

It’s All Fun & Games (Jeongguk x reader) by @workofteagukIn which you and Jungkook attempt to fake a relationship for revenge and end up with a lot more than either of you expected.

When will fake relationship AUs not be the best thing in existence? The answer to that is never. I don’t care how many times people write this concept, it will always be so fun to read because of the angsty feels. So if you’re as trash for this as I am, then absolutely read this.

Sounds of You (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @vivacioustae​: As a young girl you dreamt of hearing the bells, the ones that signaled you had found your soulmate, the missing piece everyone was so desperate to find. After falling in love with Jimin you abandoned the search, hoping you would come to never hear the bells, preferring to continue your life with him uninterrupted. You’d soon come to learn the harshness of fate, and that it doesn’t care about your hopes, feelings, or you.

Listen, from the very first sentence of this fic, I was completely hooked. From the get go you know that it’s going to mess with your emotions, but it’s worth it. I love this concept so much and my heart is aching reading this. After reading the first part, this fic is all I could think about and my heart ached because I wanted to know what was coming next, but also wasn’t prepared for it. Love love love this.

Teamwork (Taehyung x Seokjin x reader) by @sugajpgPeculiar events occur when the two best volleyball players of your college decide to take competitiveness out of the courts.

Best threesome fic I’ve read so far. I’m just. :’’’’’)) I’m still screaming. Fml this is too good and I feel the flames of hell licking my feet but screw it. Where do I sign up for this?

Like Crazy (Jimin x reader) by @war-of-hormoan: This story is based off the film by the same name.

Because I don’t care about my well-being in any way, I started this fic and I love it so much so far. The film Like Crazy is incredible, but it feels like you’ve been punched in the gut twenty times by the end, and it made me sob… like crazy. So this fic will probably end up doing that too and as nervous as I am for that, it’s so worth it. Everything is written so vividly and the relationship between Jimin and the OC is so sweet to read. I’m really excited to see how this progresses.

Grey Area (Yoongi x reader) by @blushoseoksAnd just like that, your fate was sealed - because Min Yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. But hell, if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so. And sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.

THIS IS SO WELL WRITTEN. SO. WELL. WRITTEN. Ohmygod, I’m in love with this writing style and THE CONCEPT IS AMAZING. The ending of part one left me feeling like I’d been kicked in the gut or something and you’re all ???? wtf is going on??? and you’re completely hooked so you binge read the rest. This fic is perfection.

Until Next Time (Jimin x reader) by @taeverieWho would have guessed that a stranger you met through an online game would quickly escalate into a cyber fuck buddy?

OK OK OK UM LET ME GATHER MY THOUGHTS HERE. First off, how can I be the OC?? Second off, HOW CAN I BE THE OC???? I wouldn’t have the balls to actually be this forward in real life but still, this just kept escalating and they didn’t even really do the hanky panky but it was still hot as fuck and 10/10 would recommend.

Not So Honest (Jeongguk x reader) by @wonhopesJungkook has got a pretty big problem, and he desperately asks you for your help. 

Hi hello yes be prepared to explode ok this was TOO good oml. I’m also a slut for sub!jeongguk because that sinful man deserves to be tortured the way he tortures us so this was a glorious find (though the roles do reverse in the end but whatever THIS WAS GREAT).

Obey (Jimin x reader) by @sugasgrowl

sub!jimin. Must I say more? I spontaneously combusted like ten times while reading this and would gladly undergo that again because it’s so nice to read fics where the roles reversed and I would give up a limb to see Jimin in such a debauched state.

All To Myself (Jimin/Yoongi x reader) by @mint-tape: “It’s hard to be a vlogger when half your subscribers care more about your hot friends than you.”
- Y/N, from her April 23, 2016 vlog titled ‘Jimin shows his stupid abs 8 times (not clickbait)’

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST CREATIVE FICS I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. All the ‘videos’ and the ‘comments’ and just everything about this is absolute perfection. The characters are all diverse and the OC is really likeable. Just. I’m glad I found this fic, it’s so unique and all these extra goodies make the read even more fun.

The Blue Notebooks (Jimin x reader) by @inktae: time travel au

Honestly, I don’t even know what to write about this because I’m still speechless. No words can capture how beautiful the writing is (all her work is beautiful) and how well emotion is captured in this. Everything is so thought out and all these little details come together to form the bigger picture. Do yourself a favour and read this as well as all the rest of the OP’s writing. She is so freaking talented and we are all blessed to be able to read her work.

…Sorry, that got ridiculously long. @_@ For member x reader fics I tend to read Jimin/Jeongguk focused stuff, if it’s not incredibly obvious… Oops. Am I Jimin biased or jiguk biased? Anyway. I hope this list helped and I’m sorry it took so long for me to respond, I just wanted to get through some of the fics I had saved in case I wanted to recommend them. Enjoy!

BTS Reaction to You Finding Out They’re With You Cause of a Bet

Requested by @yona–hime; “Bts reacting to you finding out that the reason they approached you was because of a bet even though you’re an item now and they’ve actually fallen for you. I’m in the mood for a bit of angst.”

Note: bless your soul, angst is everything. *credit to gif owners*


Jin ➳ "Is that what I really mean to you?” You questioned and he instantly felt his throat swell, his heart threatening to burst as he looked to you in dread. You had found out that he was with you because of a bet, but little did you know that he was actually in love with you.

“No, I-”

“Save it, Seokjin.” You whispered, not sparing the man a second glance and although he wanted more than anything to engulf you into his arms; he was scared that he would break you further.

Originally posted by aiintnolee


Suga ➳ He let you scream at him, he watched those tears cascade down your cheeks as anger was slowly overfilling you to the core. He did nothing but stare, wanting to say anything or do something but he knew deep inside, that he deserved whatever you threw at him. “Was I only a game to you?” You choked, and something within him shattered.

He slightly dipped his head, giving you his full attention and you froze from seeing his eyes whirl in internal fumes. “Please, don’t ever say that again,” his voice was monotone but you felt the anger interlacing his every word, “believe me when I say this, I truly do love you.”

Originally posted by bangtannoonas


J-Hope ➳ When he saw you from a distance, he ran to you through the empty building with a large smile plastered onto his face, only for you to raise your hand to stop him silently. He was confused, and once you brought up the bet and how he could have lead you on for so long, his smile was no longer apparent as he stared to you apologetically. “I love you,” his voice was weak, running a shaky hand through his hair as he couldn’t bear to look you in the eyes. “And if you leave, it’ll break me..because,” his eyelids fluttered shut, taking a deep breath before looking into your eyes, “you’ll be taking a part of me with you.”

Originally posted by gotjhope


RapMonster ➳ "Is it true you’re only with me because of a bet?” 

His whole body stiffened, eyes filled with horror as he slowly watched your features go from calm to sudden disbelief. He was quick, not even giving you a chance to yell at him as he began to speak in the speed of light — explaining everything to you. “I know you know that I love you,” he proclaimed, grabbing your hand as he began to rub soft circles on the back of it with his thumb. “And all I know is that if I didn’t put that bet into action,” he gulped, “then I wouldn’t have ever been able to call you mine..”

Originally posted by dazzlingho


Jimin ➳ He felt utterly disgusted with himself, knowing it sounded horrible that you were a target splurged in the middle of a bet. Yet, as you screamed to him to tell you why he did it, his eyes were clouding with tears. He didn’t know what to do, never wanting to hurt you but at the same time, he never wanted to lose you either. “I-I..” Sighing, he clasped your hands in his as he brought them up to his lips, pecking them softly. “I’m so sorry, but please, give me a chance.” He pleaded, a tear slowly trickling down his cheek. “I’ll do anything to show you that what I feel for you is..real.”

Originally posted by cowjimin


V ➳ He didn’t know what was worse, you crying at finding out that he was only with you because of a bet or you throwing what he said to you during your intimate times to his face as if it were all lies. He meant no harm, and he knew it was his fault that this bet would soon interfere with his relationship with you. You were slamming your fists against his chest, pushing him back as his bangs covered his eyes like a sheer curtain before he grabbed you wrists — staring deeply into your eyes and freezing you in place. “I could have ignored the bet, but I didn’t, why?” He looked to the side, heartbeat racing as his eyes softened, “easy, because...*gif*”

Originally posted by myloveseokjin


Jungkook ➳ He wished he could have said anything to keep you from walking away in tears, shattered pieces of your heart trailing behind you but he was in utter shock. He loved you so much, he wanted to keep you by his side forever and he only felt pathetic and weak at having crystallized to you finding out his dark and horrible secret. He was indeed a shell of what he used to be, his soul escaping after you to protect you from anything especially himself; and when the boys were worried about his state of mind and asked if he was okay, he could only shake his head no as the tears he tried so hard to keep at bay began to come crashing down. “I need her back..”

Originally posted by yourpinkpill


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