i wish i had more time cries

1. I wasn’t in love with you anymore, but god, this knocked the wind out of me.

2. You were just here.

3. You were just here.

4. Do you remember? The frozen food pressed to your shoulder, the way you shook with the knowledge of a barely avoided death?

5. My mouth. Yours.

6. I had been struggling with my old poems about you. You know, you were the first one I ever wrote. I had some questions for you, Cleveland. I suppose I don’t have them anymore.

7. It isn’t even seeing you kiss her that’s the problem. It’s that you share a table.

8. Maybe “wife” bothers me, too. I know how that word sounds, coming from you. Remember? Those long drives? Perhaps I still exist as your heart when you hit the road.

9. You still exist as mine when I hit the words.

10. I couldn’t read them aloud anymore, the poems. That old pain. It didn’t exist. We had chased it away with chocolate and cherries. Still, you occupy a shelf in the bright. In the cold .

11. You always have been impossibly careless with my heart. With my new lives, all of them.

12. There’s a Smiths song – if you were reading my texts I would send you it – it goes: and I’m not happy / and I’m not sad. I’m not sad, seeing you happy. She looks as full of light as I used to when you kissed me. I am glad for her. I know what you have to give.

13. It’s the loss of our friendship. More a removal. A reopened scar, from the last time. Remember, how we were friends? We’ve been so good at it. I can’t believe you won’t hear from me now. I couldn’t believe you wouldn’t hear from me, then. You know the words. 

14. I just wanted to wish you well. I just. I just wanted to be what I always have been. Yours, in whatever form we decide.

15. Nearly two years since we met and you still find new ways to let me down. I think it impresses me more than it wounds.

16. You told me all about her, remember? We discovered we had both loved ghosts, since the last time you cried on my couch. Do you remember? The things that we allow to haunt us take root in the end. I need to change my sheets.

17. I wonder if I am the ghost now. The woman you never had the courage to keep. Do I haunt you, darling? I can hear your voice saying yes. Feel the reach of your arms as I spin out of them, laughing. Do I echo?

18. You kissed me like you used to, the last time. You will again, the next. You always do.

19. In a poem I never got the chance to read you, I said that you exist suspended in time. In flashes of white sheets. Bathed in orange light on the Golden Gate Bridge. Spinning me around on a cold February evening. One year ago today.

20. One year ago today, you laid next to me. We cried about something that doesn’t matter anymore. It didn’t matter then, either.

21. Do you remember the words? Of that last song at what we thought was the last breakfast. You sat me on your knee.

22. Your hands shook as you held me tight. I put my lips to your ear. Do you remember? The words. Say them with me.

23. In my own sick way / I’ll always stay true to you.

—  Upon Seeing Your New Girlfriend For The First Time. Charlotte Ford.
MC Alone On Valentines Day....

[MC has entered the chatroom]

MC: OH February… OH February… The time in which love blooms and shines…

Yoosung: DATE ME.

MC: OH And how happy I’d be with a lover…

ZEN: JESUS CHRIST JUST LOVE ME.

MC: Gah… Too bad I’ll be all alone…

Jaehee: TAKE ME BB.

MC: I wish OH I wish that I had a fiancé…

Saeyoung: HERE. YOUR FIANCÉ. IS RIGHT HERE.

MC: I’m OH so lonely… So sad…. With no one to love…..

Jumin: Me. CHOOSE. ME.

MC: Looks like I’ll just spend it alone… Again… *sigh*

V: Please… Take me…

MC: No one would bother to love me anyways….

Saeran: I. WANT. YOU.

MC: WELP… Time to drown my sorrows with cheesy romance movies… BY MYSELF….

[MC has left the chatroom]

[*Yoosung cries in a corner]

[ZEN screams on a table]

[Jaehee Kang is trying to breathe]

[707 lies down and rethinks life]

[Jumin Han is pouring more wine]

[V is also sobbing in a corner]

[Saeran shoots a fucking lamp]

The Feels of Yugioh

Okay so as a child why did I never realize that Yugi needed to give up his damn wish to get Atemu’s name!?!!? Like this was 12 years ago and I vaguely remember that episode of him saying that. I knew he cried saying that Joey, Tristan, and Tea were his wish.

So that meant he had to give up his wish of his friends, but as we see in that episode(Season 5, episode 214), he didn’t give them up.

They made it and did get Atemu’s name, so I guess that means his wish is saved, right? WRONG!!!! That was just his FIRST wish, we all do remember this right???

Yep that’s his second wish! To see Mou Hitori no Boku again, at least one more time(as said in the manga), but to be with him again was his wish. So he didn’t give up his first wish, which means he had to give up his second wish! Yes you hear me!! There was a price for Atemu getting his name, it wasn’t that he HAD to return to the afterlife…it was that Yugi had to give his wish in exchange, he didn’t give up his first wish, and so his second wish, had to be given back. In return we…Yugi….gave up his closest friend ever….in order to help his best friend, he had to give him up….such a sad sad anime behind all those cards games and friendship speeches! Now I am going to go cry my eyes out!

Originally posted by toqaahmed

Trimberly Week (D2)

da angst

tw: brief mentions of death and suicidal thoughts

  • Trini’s parents die in an accident when the Rangers are battling Goldar
  • She doesn’t find out until the hospital calls her and informs her that her brothers are okay
    • Mateo broke his arm and needed stitches for the cut on his forehead
    • Alex suffered minor burns and some smoke inhalation
  • A doctor and a police officer pulled her aside to tell her that one of the “rock monsters” had thrown the car and smashed through the windshield
    • her father had been crushed
    • her mother had died en route
  • And Trini nods, numb and buzzing, and excuses herself back to the room where her brothers are
    • and she barely has time to make it to the bathroom before she’s throwing up and shaking and on the verge of losing it but then she hears Alex outside the door, asking if she’s okay
    • and she decides right then and there that even if she isn’t she’s all her brothers have now and she’s going to be strong
  • A tired looking social worker comes around some time later and gives her temporary guardianship of her brothers
  • And Trini has to break her brother’s hearts when she explains to them what happened to Mami and Papi
    • she holds them both as they cry into her lap and swears she’s never letting go
  • Kim finds out first
    • The boys get released from the hospital (because they’re injuries aren’t extensive and they desperately need the extra beds) and Trini has to drive them home by herself, tuck them in by herself, and it isn’t until they’re both asleep do things start to hit her
    • the house is too quiet, too empty, and her parents are dead, and now she has to take care of her brothers all by herself
  • So she’s just sitting in her room, holding a picture frame from the mantel downstairs, when Kim crawls through her window
    • she’s talking as she crawls into the dark room, about how crazy everything looks, how they don’t have school for a while because the place was nearly demolished, how Zack says his mom is okay and Jason’s family is too, along with Billy’s mom, and it isn’t until she sits next to Trini does she realize somethings wrong
    • and they may have this new link that connects their emotions or whatever, but somehow Trini’s got a dam on hers because it isn’t until Kim touches her cheek, turns her face to look at her, and asks “what’s wrong?” does the dam break
    • and suddenly Kim understands perfectly
  • Trini cries and Kim holds her all night
    • Zack finds out next because he comes to visit Trini the next morning and then he messages Billy and Jason to get their asses to Trini’s now 
    • And they spend a good two hours in a big huddle, everyone holding each other, and Trini cries and they all share her ache
  • Trini can’t sleep in her house, traumatized by Rita’s encounter and haunted by her parent’s absence
    • And she’s struggling to juggle lawyers and life insurance and social workers and funeral expenses and finding a full time job because she’s gonna need that if she wants to keep custody of her brothers
    • Kim makes it a little easier, she stays every night for a week, even when Trini doesn’t sleep, just having Kim next to her helps ease the emptiness around her
  • Madi and Ted Hart notice their daughters disappearances and when they confront her about it she tells them her friend just lost her parents and has to take care of her little brothers
    • turns out Madi was the doctor who stitched up Mateo’s forehead and Ted was the officer who pulled them from the vehicle
  • To make matters worse, the judge assigned to the boys case has deemed Trini unfit to look after her brothers, not because she physically can’t but because she’s too young and without a full time job
  • And Trini breaks down outside the courthouse because two social workers are taking her brothers away and she nearly sends two police officers flying as they hold her back
    • Ted holds her as she sobs deeply and when Kim shows up and swoops in to hold her, he knows he has to do something
    • He calls his wife, who immediately agrees, then makes a few more phone calls and few favors and then its done
  • Trini’s sitting in her room, alone in the dark, when she starts wishing Rita had killed her the first time, how she wishes she were dead
  • And then Kim’s stumbling into her room, teary eyed, and running over to Trini and pulling her close
    • “don’t you ever, ever, think like this! I can’t do this without you Trin, and god I know this sucks, but please, please don’t leave me. I need you. Your brothers need you. And I’m not going to leave you, ever. so please, just stay with me”
    • and Trini cries and kisses her and Kim holds her so tight she leaves small bruises that disappear by the morning
  • The next morning Kim gets a call from her mom to bring Trini back to their house
  • and Kim tells Trini to live with them
    • she poses it like its a question but Trini knows she doesn’t really have a choice
    • and she can feel Kim’s resoluteness through the link and it hits her a little because Kim really isn’t going to leave her, no matter what
    • So she kisses her again and Kim kisses back twice as hard, twice as soft, and doesn’t let go
  • And when they finally get to Kim’s house, Trini’s things packed in three duffel bags, the front door flings open and Mateo and Alex come barreling out, followed by Madi and Ted
    • the phone calls were to square away the boys adoption since Madi and Ted were registered foster parents before they had Kim
  • And Trini breaks down crying and hugging and kissing her brothers, and then the Harts are joining in the group hug
  • Trini still misses her mom and dad, but she gains a second family
    • or rather a third because her fellow rangers are family too

Bonus:

  • Years later, when Trini and Kim have dated for a while, Kim proposes
    • “I think it’s time you joined the Hart family too. Trini will you marry me?”
    • And Trini says yes (duh)
“Cry Followup”, or “See A Doctor! The Musical”

I got sad. A doctor recommended that I go off my anxiety meds because they might be interfering with a bunch of other health issues. I did. It wasn’t good.

I tapered off for months and dealt with the withdrawal symptoms. When they were gone, I felt ok for a few weeks. Then I was easily irritated and sometimes angry. Then weird feelings started to creep in. I guess it was just dread. Maybe it was weird to just be feeling anything after being numbed on meds for so long. I started crying watching movies sometimes or thinking about whatever the fuck. I started getting really sad. Eventually I would cry everyday, sometimes for multiple sessions. It’s strange to think back on that now that I’m safely numbed to fuck again.

My grandfather had died about 8 months earlier and I thought I had emotionally exhausted that, but now it was back and I dwelt on it constantly. I thought of dying with an urgency that I couldn’t distract myself from. I thought of everyone I knew dying. It felt like time was an illusion and it wouldn’t be long until I’m standing beside their open coffins, reflecting on how quickly time had passed and now they’re gone and I’d wasted time not spending more time with them.

Most days I’d just wake up and lie there for hours. I’d try to look at things on my phone to try to distract myself. Snapchat was fun for that. Christ, so was Miitomo. I wouldn’t get any work done. It was difficult to focus and overcome the feeling in my gut of being pulled down and the constant present terror feelings of death and knowing this whole experience will be gone some day, but before that, I’ll watch everyone I know leave too. For a long time, I don’t think I really connected that it was my absence of meds that was doing this to me. I thought maybe it was just circumstances and some kind of Holmes-Rahe scale thing where a bunch of life events happening at once were stacking and compounding my depression feelings. There was no way to win against it and this kind of thing encourages you to not to the things that will typically pull you out of a depression. It makes you want to seclude yourself more and work on further diminishing your self-worth mentally. Instead of seeing friends or doing activities you enjoy, you convince yourself that you’re a burden to them, they don’t really want to see you anyway, and that something bad is going to happen if you go out and do anything. For so many fucking days I just laid there. That makes your depression even worse; your lack of productivity frustrates you and makes you hate yourself. All that wasted time boils your living asshole. It’s a paralysis and you don’t know why you can’t break out of it. You can’t just go into the other room and sit at your computer and do your work. Brains are incredible. Just a bit of absence from a certain chemical changes everything. Of course, you tell yourself things like this, that it’s not really you and that it’s just a biological ineptitude temporarily and that everything will be fine soon enough, but that doesn’t help at all.

That’s the other thing: you don’t feel like this will ever end. This is who you are now. A fucking shrivelled terrified cryhole. I did feel terror quite a few times during all this. It usually gets you when you wake up or try to go to sleep. Everything is still and You are going to fucking die someday, sooner than you think and You have wasted every moment of your life so far blast in your mind and your heart pounds, you can barely breathe, and you might even suddenly groan as panic waves hit your brain in an instant. There’s a terror in knowing there’s no relief from this; that all of these things are true and for some reason you believed the illusion your whole life and weren’t always in the perfect terror about it that you are now. Still, you beg for that trick to come back, to be able to put this mindset away and believe in the stupid shit we tell ourselves just to keep existing in some kind of calm. All these thoughts keep assaulting you with some kind of biological urgency, like you need to figure this problem out immediately or you die. This is what being on chemicals to help your brain for years and then suddenly going off them is like. Your body doesn’t know what the fuck. It’s weird to not give a shit about any of this and then suddenly imperatively have to give a shit about it and be unable to escape it. Even now when I’m in the clear, I still feel its background noise. Maybe I always will from now on. This whole thing has been a Paul on the road to Damascus type ordeal.

I fucking cried watching the new X-Files episodes, my dude. Probably during each one. That’s what it was fucking like. Imagine being in your late ass twenties and something in the X-Files makes you cry because you think of a squandered opportunity, or what you should or shouldn’t have done as a kid, or wishing you had put more effort into certain relationships with family or friends. It just finds anything to grab onto and get you with. You just have a dragging feeling constantly present and looking for things to attach to and convince you you’re sad about. Frankly, it’s fucking annoying. I cried one time because a nintendo phone app was enthusiastic about sharing my character’s picture with others. Just the fact that someone would have an interest in who I am and treat me like a normal person and want to share something about me with other terrible avatars made me cry as I was playing this thing and trying to take a shit. It made me think about my own self-worth and how long I thought there was no reason anyone should give a fuck. Cripe, one time I was almost screaming crying about my best friend who died when we were 11. It was like a fresh wound again and I was lying facedown on my bed wailing like an asshole. Depression can fuck with you.

So, this got pretty bad and I decided I had to see my GP about it. This can become a battle in itself, because past a certain point, you are convinced you aren’t worth the effort and that you’re a burden to have to deal with, and someone else could use that time to see the doctor instead. It gives you any reason to turn yourself down. I cried right away talking to my doctor. All this is really weird to reflect on; I was an entirely different person then. It was like a frantic sadness, an inability to just hold your shit together for even a few minutes. The impending terror was really pressing; a constant urgent anxiety that something bad is going to happen really soon, or that I’m about to get a call that someone I know just died. The doctor recommended seeing a therapist and going back on meds. Now I remember that the reason I finally did something was because my neighbour’s son killed himself. Fuck, that really bothered me. Hearing about any death at all was bad enough, but I think that week I was reading about Edgar Allan Poe’s death and then Vincent Van Gogh’s, and I just got really fixated on vividly imagining their final moments. I think there were others, too. See? Just a stupid thing to waste your time on but in the moment, you think this will help for some reason. Maybe the gravity of that kind of thing hooks you and you can’t help but look into it. So when my neighbour’s son also committed suicide, that was a pretty strong blow. I hadn’t even talked to the guy in over ten years, but I couldn’t help but fixate on having seen his father maybe 3 days prior as he joked in my mom’s backyard and borrowed a ladder. Now his life was ruined and the son he struggled to try to get mental help his whole life had killed himself. He was only 37 and he had a son. I think I spent a few days of weeping out my stupid ass over this, then made the decision to see my doctor.

I started seeing my therapist and cried within 6 minutes of entering his office. I wish I went to see a talk doctor when I was recommended it as a teenager. It’s good shit. Beyond that, I started seeing my friends again. Before this, I think 2 years had passed between us spending time together. I had talked myself into feeling like they were better off without me anyway and had their own real friends and lives that I didn’t have anything to do with. I started to exercise and even just take walks around the block. Sometimes, if I was just lying awake staring at the ceiling, I’d get up and go for a run. I started being able to work on videos again and looked forward to it. Thinking back on it now, I realize I kept streaming during the whole time. That would become the only thing I’d do or look forward to for most of this stretch. SO THANKS IF YOU LOOKED AT MY TERRIBLE STREAMS DURING THIS ERA I WAS QUITE WOUNDED AND I’M HOPEFUL THAT I WASN’T TREMENDOUSLY OBVIOUS ABOUT THIS, YOU HELPED KEEP ME STABLE WATCHING ME PLAY WITH CHILDREN’S TOYS. Beyond this, I’d just sleep until the afternoon and try to find a way to kill time until the streams started. This is why there were even less videos than usual. I was sad.

So, these things helped pull me out of the shit. A lot of it is self-examination and discovering why you feel this way in the first place. I’ve talked to my therapist about whether or not this whole thing was because of being on meds for so long and then going off them and feeling a withdrawal, or if that’s who I am underneath the medication.  He said that it is probably both, but more that that’s who I am. Fuck. He categorized this as a major depressive episode. It was weird to just hear the words. That is the kind of thing that happens to people in their mid-30s in office jobs who are getting shit on by everything in their lives. I guess it can also make you feel like a diva asshole; that you feel you’re so important that you had to have this major crisis about yourself. Writing this makes me realize how stupid it is to think like this, but that’s the kind of trap you get put into. Anyway, let me emphasize how important it is to see a therapist if you are depressed. Do it. It can change everything. Also talk to a doctor and see if meds are part of your solution. See a doctor. Do not just let it go. This is like if you had cancer and you just wanted to wait it out or hoped it would get better on its own. A lot of people let it go until it’s overwhelming and consumes them completely and just kill themselves to end the pain. Don’t!

I got better. I went on meds and in just a few weeks I made a drastic improvement. Plus the therapy, and plus feeling like I was doing anything with my life again. I hear a lot about hesitation to go on meds because you feel like they may change the foundation of who you ever are. This doesn’t happen. For me, it made me feel more free to be who I felt like I really was. That said, it may numb your emotions if you are a person who typically feels a lot of things. Just talk to a doctor about any concerns you have and don’t let these build up and become reasons you don’t get help for yourself. You are worth it. The doctor isn’t angry to have to deal with you. If it will cost what you can’t afford, don’t let that become an excuse not to do it. Save up or find a way to make it work. Again, it’s like if you couldn’t afford cancer treatments so you just let it kill you instead of finding out how you can make the situation work financially. What you’re dealing with is serious! Do something about it!

I almost forgot to mention that a lot of getting better was having something to look forward to. Knowing I’d see my friends and we’d have a good time was part of it. Another was spending all of my fucking money to go to as many conventions as I could. They were something I enjoyed in the past but didn’t bother with much anymore, so I decided to get back into them. It was the best choice. Thanks for coming to drink a lot of beers and talk shit if I saw you at a PAX or TwitchCon or Magfest! They were sincerely some of the best times of my life. Knowing that it wouldn’t be long until I’d be at another convention helped a lot with otherwise feeling complete dread. The power of giving yourself something great to look forward to is really strong! Do it! Find things you like and make time for them. Reward yourself! At one point, I got into a really unbalanced lifestyle and would spend maybe 60 or 70 hours a week editing videos and I burned myself out to shit. All I would think about was the job and let my health and relationships go to shit. You’re not supposed to do that. Give yourself good things and make it a habit. Anyway, PAX East soon, my man.

When I wrote my last crypost, a lot of people responded it it. I was in a daze for the rest of that day as I heard from a mountain of individuals. A lot of you deal with issues like this and a lot of you feel hopeless about it. It’s fucked up! This is your life! You’re entitled to a good one! Doing something about it will take a lot less than you may think, and will help you in a lot more ways and probably faster than you may think. A lot of you also said since that you’ve decided to finally get help. So yeah motherfucker I had a cool cry about your messages several times. What was also helpful was anonymous tumblr questions saying they got help so others could see your experiences and know I’m not just yelling out my dick about this. Thanks! You helped people!

Ok I think I have to cut this short now, it got late and I try not to stay awake until fucking 7 AM these days. I feel like I missed a few of the main points I wanted to make but by now I think you get the point that you can feel like you are going to face total annihilation within the next few moments and still get back to normal in very little time. I almost just wrote “Hopefully talking about my own cringe-ass experience helped you with…” and so forth to end this on a light-hearted self-shitting, but that again is part of the problem. Feeling as if your issues are embarrassing, not worthy, juvenile, or to be written off as not serious is no good. I know we joke about this kind of thing to help deal with it, but don’t feel that way for real. AGAIN, YOU’RE WORTH IT. YOU’RE GOOD! YOU’RE WORTH DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FEEL NOT FUCKED UP! GO! 


Go!

when cutting onions:

-noct cries and complains about the fact that he’s crying
-prompto cries onto the actual onion
-gladio tears up and asks iggy why he’s doing this when literally anyone else could instead
-iggy doesn’t tear up because he’s a fucking beast

Cherry Blossoms (I) - a chanyeol story

Originally posted by baekhyunsama

Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

Plot: You loved Chanyeol with everything you had; but after many broken promises, it may be time to let him go

Genre: Total and complete angst

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader


Reader

I woke up with a start. I felt sweat beaded on my brow; I wiped it with the back of my hand and slowly opened my eyes. I could see the beginnings of a sunrise creeping in through my blinds, a few birds chirping to start their early day. ‘What time is it?’ I couldn’t find my phone. I  lazily pawed at the other side of my bed, startled when my hand hit something warm. 

He’s here. Chanyeol is here.

When did he arrive? He surely wasn’t here when I went to sleep at 2am. He had promised me he’d be home by 11. He said he would make me popcorn, and we could finally watch that cheesy drama I’ve been begging him to watch with me. He said we could finally have time together, alone. 

But as usual, Chanyeol broke every single one of his promises. 

He was pretty good at that.

Keep reading

2

MY AESTHETIC IS HENRY SMILING DOWN AT ROLAND BECAUSE OF ALL THE CUTE  AND SAYING WITH HIS EYES, “WHATS UP LIL BRO!” AND THE WAY HE LOOKS BACK AT HIS MOTHER WITH A  SMILE ON HIS FACE LIKE EVEN IF SHITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN IT’S NICE THAT REGINA HAS THIS LITTLE FAMILY OF THEIRS. AND ROLAND’S LIKE CMON BROTHER, LETS GO HIDE AND AND SHIT. 

I Don't Care What They Say- Draco x Reader

Rating: fluff
Request: 
Warnings: mild swearing




. He felt like an absolute idiot. He regretted everything he said to the girl, he pushed his fists into his long platinum blonde hair, clenching until his scalp went sore. He leant over a bathroom sink staring at his tear stained cheeks, damning himself for being so weak all because of y/n. He replayed his words over and over again wishing he could change them, he wanted to tell her it wasn’t true. “Draco, please I’m really trying here I just want to know-”

 "Y/n shut the hell up! You never cared until now why do you deserve to know what’s wrong with me!“ The girl stepped away from him, the tears of anger and upset burned her eyes. 

"Draco, I think I-” she’d had enough of being weak, subjecting to her boyfriend’s will. She had enough of being in a one sided relationship. He had truly broken her.

 "I want to fucking know! I don’t know about you but seeing as I have stayed with you, I have been your one and only true friend. I fucking loved you, so so much!“ The tears fell freely. She. Was. Broken. Draco stared at the furious girl in front of him.

 "I don’t give a shit y/l/n, I never loved you” he seemed to say it so quietly but the words he whispered hurt more than his dismissive tone. The girl turned quickly and ran away, her hair flowing behind her… Draco took himself off to bed, without y/n for the first time in a whole year. He didn’t sleep, he couldn’t the girl he had always called his, he wished to call her, his for as long as possible hopefully, forever but he ruined it. Deciding he knew how badly he hurt the girl, he couldn’t stand to listen to her distance cries and occasional comforting comments from Daphne and Tracy.

Draco stormed out of the dorms thought the common room, where y/n’s sobbing had become louder. He barely made it up the stairs when he, himself broke down into tears. Draco collapsed onto the staircase Holding his head in his hands. 

The sleeves of his shirt had fallen down before his wrist, the open mouth of a snake peered out seeping into his skin. He couldn’t handle it anymore he wanted nothing to do with Voldemort or in fact his father. “Dray… I-” The looked up to be greeted by the puffy red eyes of his …ex-girlfriend. “Y/n! I’m so happy you’re here” She looked back at him as he jumped to his feet to embrace her. “Draco, please no. You’ve hurt me enough I- Dray, have you been crying?” She looked into his grey eyes with her eyebrows furrowed, studying his features.

“Yes, I have, and it’s all because I can’t stand living with myself, knowing how much I hurt you. It’s killing me. I meant nothing that I said to you.” He stumbled over his words as they poured out of his mouth. “I love you, I always have. I love you so so so much” She stared back at him, forcing her hands, which he so desperately wanted to hold, through a tangle of her hair. 

“You really, hurt me, Dray. How do I know if I can trust you again? What you did really, really hurt. I don’t want to go through that again” her last words gave him hope you that she felt the same as him, that she wanted to stay with him forever.

 "Y/n, please. I promise with all my heart that I could never hurt you ever again. If I did I would never be able to live with myself. I love you so much Princess I can’t bear to see you in pain. Especially if I’m the one who caused it.“ He pulled her into his arms and kissed her lips as gentle as possible. "I don’t care what they say Draco, but I’m in love with you”.


 -hope you enjoyed it. Please leave requests and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Sorry for being inactive since I posted the ‘I Win’ Smut but it’s GCSE season and I have been frantically writing new Imagines this half term so hopefully I can start posting them soon. ~C

a little highlight reel of my favorite acting moments from the amazing cast of IT (2017) -

wyatt oleff as stan uris: stan the man! i loved this character. he had the right amount of optimism with just enough pessimism. stan just wanted some rest, gdi. anyways, the scene i chose for him was quite obvious. i chose the one after they got separated in the sewers at the end. he was crying and screaming about how they said they wouldn’t leave him. he was distraught and even i felt betrayed??? even though i knew what happened?? 

finn wolfhard as richie tozier: richie was a funny af character, and i found myself genuinely laughing out loud at most of what he said, but I think the moment that stood out to me was when bill, eddie, and richie entered the house on neibolt street and richie saw his own picture on a “missing” flyer. he went from sarcastic and relatively unbothered to sheer panic and fearful in like 3 seconds flat. i’m still impressed, tbh.

jack dylan grazer as eddie kaspbrak: ahh, eddie. adorable, paranoid, sweet little eddie. jack was someone who i’d never heard of before, but immediately checked his imdb afterwards because wow. he played that character so incredibly well, it was hard to choose a standout moment. what i did eventually land on was when the losers were looking at the maps of derry in the garage and he got up and stopped it. that may seem like an odd choice but when he was going off on his little tangent, i just believed everything he was feeling, if that makes sense?? that was one of his scenes that really stuck with me.

sophia lillis as beverly marsh: beverly is my love, if i’m being honest. she’s strong and brave and just good. sophia did an a+ job bringing this character to life. an acting highlight for me was when she was standing over the sink and cut off her hair. she had just had that confrontation with her dad and i could feel her dread. powerful stuff.

jeremy ray taylor as ben hanscom: ben is such a pure character. he likes boy bands and conspiracy theories and becomes a key member of the losers club. jeremy did amazing. i was especially impressed when henry bowers and co. had him at the bridge. his cries for help were so genuine and his pain when henry cut into him was palpable.

chosen jacobs as mike hanlon: WE NEEDED MORE OF MIKE. i wish this movie was three more hours long with bonus scenes for all the characters. chosen was so good as mike. his highlight scene for me was when he was delivering the meat and saw pennywise for the first time. his horror was unmistakable when he saw the burnt hands scratch at the door and his fear only escalated when he saw pennywise. some quality acting.

jaeden lieberher as bill denbrough: this boy. i felt for him. his anguish and pain from losing his brother. it was brutal. jaeden’s best moment imo, was when he was giving That Speech about how it’s easier to walk into the house with pennywise than his own, like???? i’m crying in the club??? 

bill skarsgård as pennywise: i had high expectations of bill going into this movie because i knew he could be great, and let me tell you- he did not disappoint. he was amazing! my favorite moment was when eddie/richie/bill went into the house and pennywise crawled out of that cabinet. he started mocking eddie (poor boy) and just all his mannerism?? and how he delivered his lines? so good. that entire scene was perfection, all the way to the end when he sauntered out of the room with a pole through his head.

BONUS-

jackson robert scott as georgie denbrough: “you’ll float too, you’ll flOAT TOO, YOU’LL FLOAT TOO”

you’re my favorite waste of time

a/n: listen i sang a cover of this song last night and then had this idea i suggest you listen to my cover (haha promo) as you read bc the original is more upbeat lololol anyways here ya go!!! some gay fluff/angst (?) for ya!

warnings: mention of neglect

There are tears in his eyes when he says it, a knife in his heart. “She called me a waste of time.” His voice is like nails on a chalkboard. With averted, he grips Eddie’s windowsill with tight fingers. Red cheeks and cold hands, Richie Tozier looks utterly defeated. It is a sight Eddie Kaspbrak wishes he will never have to see again.

Keep reading