i wish i had hq versions of the show or something

Out Of Nothing At All - Fourteen

You’d lain in bed together for a while longer before deciding to move. Upon checking your phone you saw that Hotch had text you, telling you both not to bother coming in today. You didn’t have a case so it was just going to be another paperwork day.

You called him anyway, updating him on your situation and asking him about the possibility of being excused from field duty and staying behind at HQ until you officially went on maternity leave.

With you being pregnant, technically the Bureau had to do anything they could to assist with the pregnancy in case anything were to go wrong which they could be held liable for. You both knew this and Hotch agreed with your request telling you he’d been sourcing a replacement anyway, another female from Andy Swan’s unit and that he’d speak with them about her taking over sooner than planned. You thanked him profusely, another load taken off your mind.

With the day ahead of you now free, you and Spencer decided to start working on the spare bedroom. You didn’t particularly want to spend tonight alone either and although last night had been fine, it wasn’t a good idea for you to get too comfortable sharing a bed. You knew that you would eventually have to spend the night alone, but you prayed that any cases that came up in the next few weeks would either be local, or that Reid could work from HQ too. You’d mentioned this to Hotch as well who had said it would need to be assessed on a case by case basis, but if you and Spencer were prepared to foot the cost of a commercial flight if Reid was needed in the field, then something could be worked out. Spencer wasn’t normally involved in many of the take downs anyway, so could work just as well via video link from the office.

You showed Reid the spare rooms, the smaller one directly next to yours would of course be the peanuts and the larger guest room with its own en-suite could become Spencer’s.

Reid drove JJ’s car back first thing, collecting his own from her house and picking up a few more belongings from his apartment before heading to the local home depot for storage boxes. The guest room had kinda become your dumping ground for your Gramp’s memorabilia along with old crap that you never used but didn’t have the energy to take to the tip. If you could box up your grandfather’s stuff, then you could shift some of the crap into the smaller room for now so that Reid would have somewhere to sleep. It was a huge job though, one that you regretted starting almost immediately.

It didn’t help that Reid was so interested in the stuff you had of your grandfather’s, like old scripts and film cells and stuff, insisting on asking you about everything.

Three hours had passed and you were exhausted. You slumped on the floor with a bottle of water, leaning against the bed next to Spencer who was quickly thumbing through yet another script he’d found, complete with all of your Gramp’s notes.

“Which one’s that?” you asked him.

“Jackal,” he replied, not even looking up, his finger running quickly down each page. It always amazed you watching him devour the written word so quickly.

“Ahhh. That’s my favourite.” It had been a sleeper hit at the box office but had won a fuck ton of awards including an Academy Award for best original screenplay.

“It’s mine too actually.” Still not looking up.

“Hey Spencer….. You know the little girl at the start.”

“The one who escapes from the Jackal?”

“Yep….. That’s yours truly.”

And now you had his attention. “Really? Oh my god thats awesome! You must have been what? Eight?”

You nodded and explained how you’d begged your Gramp’s to take you to work with him again. You loved going with him, even though he couldn’t always spend an awful lot of time with you when he was directing. He’d set you up in your own mini directors chair in front of one of the monitors and you’d just sit mesmerised. Most kids would have found the constant repetition of the same takes being filmed over and over again boring, but you’d loved it.

On this particular day, the production had run into issues. The actress playing the younger version of the protagonist in the opening scene had been pulled from the movie at the last minute, her parents suddenly finding issue with the content. The producers had seen you sitting there, quietly observing the panic, and made the suggestion to your Grandfather. He’d been reluctant to begin with but had approached you and asked whether you thought you could do this. You could and you did, so excited to be involved. You hadn’t been allowed to actually watch the full movie until years later, due to its rating and it had been so strange seeing yourself on screen.

“So why didn’t you continue with it then?” Spencer asked you.

“Erm…. Well, as much as I enjoyed it, I remember seeing the actress on the set. And for a nine year old, she was so spoiled and haughty. Her parents and assistants ran around catering to her every need and she reminded me so much of my older sisters, thinking they were everything but actually being no more important than me. I just didn’t want to become that. I’d have hated to become from sisters or my mom.”

“Y/N, why….. Why don’t you get on with your family? You never really talk about them much except to say bad things.”

“Erm…. ”

“I’m sorry… That’s too personal. Forget it.”

“No its fine… You should probably know. I’ll guess you’ll eventually meet them anyway. So, I’m quite a lot younger than my sisters. There’s a 10 year age gap between me and the one nearest to me in age. I’ve just always……been different to them. My Mom spend a large amount of her childhood in fancy boarding schools due to my Grandfather’s job. He told me once that he regretted it so much because it turned her into a ‘spoiled little madam with ideas above her station.’ And because my Grandparent’s weren’t used to having the amount of money they were suddenly making, she pretty much got anything she wanted.”

You took a breath before continuing. 

“My Mom married rich, I strongly suspect she didn’t love my father. And she did the same with my sisters, using money from her trust find and our Dad to send my sisters to the same school she went to. My Dad was away on business a lot so he didn’t really have a say in what went on. He died just after I was born by the way… I never knew him. By the time I was born, my Grandpa was fed up with seeing her turning his grandchildren into little princesses and put his foot down with me. He told her that I had to go to a normal public school and have a normal childhood or else he’d cut her and my sisters off and they wouldn’t get their trust funds. My mom remarried… For money again, but couldn’t bear to lose her dad’s money so abided by his wishes, although she employed nannies to actually look after me. And because Gramp’s was older and making less movies, he started spending time with me, that he hadn’t with my siblings. It’s all terribly boring but basically they just all have a sense of entitlement which my Grandpa blamed himself for and I don’t feel any sense of kin to them. We’re all totally different in personality. Plus my Mom’s an evil bitch. It’s down to her that I don’t want kids.”

“How come?”

“Because she’s repeatedly told me that I wouldn’t be a good mother and I’m terrified she’s right.“ 

Wow…. Honesty for once. Most of the time you just told people that it didn’t fit your lifestyle. But somehow…. You felt you owed it to him to be honest.

“Your own mother told you that you wouldn’t be a good mother? What the fuck?”

“And my sisters….. To be fair. One of them had a point. I did nearly kill her kid.”

He coughed, “What?”

Fuck it, in for a penny, in for a pound. You’d never told anyone this.

“When I was thirteen we had a family party. My sisters are a lot older than me like I’ve already said, so I’ve got a fair few nieces and nephews. So the adults were all getting drunk and I was left in charge of the kids, supervising them around the pool.” You took a deep breath before continuing. “I looked away for two minutes, texting this boy that I liked and when I looked up, my five year old nephew had fallen in. And he couldn’t swim.”

You could feel the panic you’d felt all those years ago settling back in.

“I couldn’t move, I was frozen to the spot. All I could do was scream until the adults came running. They pulled him out but he’d stopped breathing.”

Spencer reached his hand out placing it on your arm, the motion calming you without you even realising. “They performed CPR on him and thankfully, he started breathing again. And he’s fine…. No ill effects. He probably doesn’t even remember it. But I do. And so do….. they. My Mom asked me what had been so important that I hadn’t been paying attention and when I told her I was on my phone, she slapped me so hard that she split my lip and marked my face. She called me a selfish little bitch and asked me how I’d feel if my nephew had died because I was too busy thinking about myself. And she’s right….. I’m too selfish to think of other people. It’s always all about me. My sister, his Mom, said she’d never leave me alone with him again and that she hoped I’d never get pregnant because ‘god help the poor child that has Y/N for a Mother.’ And whenever a new baby was introduced into the family, they’d laugh and joke and say that I wasn’t to be allowed near them because I’d drop them or something. So yeah…… That’s kinda why I don’t want kids. Because I can’t be trusted to look after someone else’s child let alone my own.”

Spencer was staring at you, his jaw slack, “What did you your Grandpa say?”

“He didn’t. He was away, and I never told him. I couldn’t tell him I nearly killed his great grandchild.”

It felt so strange saying all of this now, after all these years.

“Y/N, you were thirteen. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes it was. I should have been watching.”

“You were thirteen. The parents should have been watching, not you. They weren’t your responsibility.”

“It WAS my responsibility though. It was, I shouldn’t have been so selfish. But that’s me. Selfish little Y/N. You’ve said it yourself Spencer.”

“Y/N stop. Your family were out of line, in so many ways by the sounds of it. You know what it sounds like to me? Jealousy and resentment because of the special treatment you got from your Grandfather. They wanted to make you feel bad and they’ve used something that was NOT your fault to do that. It was a mistake, an accident. But it wasn’t your fault. And it doesn’t mean you won’t be a good mother.” His voice was quiet and soothing.

“But I won’t be Spencer, I won’t be. How can I be a good Mom when I wanted to get rid of her….. When I tried to get rid of her.” Your voice cracking now and tears threatening to spill.

“Y/N…. You didn’t though did you. Something stopped you. And you know what? Plenty of women who’ve had a termination go on to have other children and be great mom’s. Thinking of terminating or actually terminating a pregnancy doesn’t mean that someone is a bad mother, it just means that maybe that person wasn’t ready. Maybe circumstances meant that it just wasn’t the right time.” He inched closer on the floor until your shoulders were touching and he moved his arm so it was around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug.

“I’m truly sorry for the things I said yesterday. Now I know, I realise how much I must have added to these feelings. But what happened doesn’t mean anything. I know you’re going to be great at this. Because you’re strong, and independent. You’re opinionated. And how can you say you’re selfish when you do what you do for a living? You risk your life on a daily basis for other people. Hell you’ve even saved mine a few times. You’ll be great at this.”

Tears were freely streaming down your face down…..Christ, you couldn’t wait for these extra hormones to do one. You weren’t normally a crier.

“You think so?” Maybe if he genuinely thought this then maybe it was true.

“I know so.”

“Thanks Spencer,” you whispered, wiping your tears away.

“Nothing to thank me for…… But you do realise you have to tell your family about this. And then show them how good a mom you actually are.”

Now that was a point. This was kind of your opportunity to proof them wrong. And fuck, you loved proving people wrong.

“Will you come with me?”

He looked surprised and taken aback by your question and you were surprised too. But you actually did want him there. 

“Of course. Anything you need, I’ll do.”

And you knew that he was telling the truth.

HQ!! Rec List - MatsuHana version, Part 2

Part 2 of my MatsuHana fic rec list; here are Part 1 and Part 3

  • on the anatomy of crushes by carafin
    Rating: T
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: alternate universe - college/university, alternate universe - medical, fluff, meet-cute, unresolved sexual tension
    Summary: A part-by-part dissection of their relationship. Medical school AU.
    ‘See you tomorrow?’ Hanamaki asks. He’s still smiling faintly, still carrying about his usual air of quiet self-assurance, but there’s no mistaking the hopefulness in his voice. ‘On the bus, I mean.’
    ‘Yeah,’ Matsukawa says, and tries not to make it sound too much like a promise. ‘See you tomorrow.’
    (Falling in love is really, ridiculously easy.)
  • hang out fall in love by carafin
    Rating: T
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: alternate universe - magical realism, alternate universe - modern with magic, alternate universe - medical, enemies to friends to lovers
    Summary: In which Hanamaki’s humble medical practice is threatened by an intractable asshole a witch doctor who’s just moved into the shop down the street. Medical/Witchcraft AU.
       As far as Hanamaki’s concerned, and as far as bad life decisions go, setting up your witch clinic right next to an actual, proper, medical clinic is practically akin to setting up an all-you-can-eat buffet right next to a gym. Or a sex toy shop next to a church. Or a vegetable patch next to a goat farm. Or – yeah, the point is, this Matsukawa guy has totally cornered the market in Terrible-Life-Decision-Making-Skills.
  • rated m for by [orphan account]
    Rating: T
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: lowkey seiyuu au, fluff, aged-up character(s), side iwaoi
    Summary: He should have known that there was a Specific Reason™ why it was so absolutely vital that he and Matsukawa specifically meet for a reading of the script. He should have known that there had to be some evil catch beyond sitting in a tiny, cramped studio with his newly sworn enemy.
    Hanamaki stares at the title of the script he’d so gracefully neglected the night before.  
    “Excuse me,” Hanamaki starts, raising a pen in the air while staring blankly at the packet in his free hand. “Just to clarify, you want me to record a boy’s love CD with Matsukawa?”
  • No One Else Like You by auber_jean
    Rating: T
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: graduation, alternate universe - canon divergence
    Summary: “It’s not at all liberating to finally have it said out loud, because it makes it all that more real, and Matsukawa was doing really well pretending that he wasn’t in love with his best friend.”
    With the turn of graduation, Matsukawa finds himself choosing between a future that he has planned or something more.
  • nebulas by tothemoon
    Rating: T
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: canon era, tokyo (city), graduation, slice of life, relationship study
    Summary: “You’ll have to let me think about it,” Hanamaki says to him while they’re looking at soup stocks in the supermarket one evening, because he knows being with someone is not as simple as he’d like it to be.
    (At this, Matsukawa does not fret. He goes for the snack aisle, instead.)
  • Captured Light by pickledplumes
    Rating: T
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: established relationship, future fic, fluff, alternate universe - college/university, photography student makki, architecture major mattsun
    “The smile you’re wearing in this photo,” Hanamaki continued, just a little bit sad, “you haven’t smiled like that in a long time.”
    Matsukawa looked at the photo again. It was awkward; it always was, seeing himself through Hanamaki’s lens. He’d never really focused on himself whenever he looked at the photos Hanamaki took of him, but now his eyes actively trailed over his face, the crinkle of his eyes, the twinkle in them from the light reflecting off of his cellphone, the smile wide enough to show an entire row of teeth.
    He tried to emulate the expression, only to realize how foreign it felt on his face.
    (A love story like most love stories, stuck between busy days and too little time spent together.
    Matsukawa learns to take it easy, and Hanamaki is his teacher.)
  • Sure by kiyala
    Rating: G
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: university
    Summary: Beginning university brings a lot of changes with it. As Iwaizumi and Oikawa deal with going to different universities, Hanamaki thinks about his own relationship with Matsukawa.
  • Books and Coffee by kiyala
    Rating: G
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: established relationship
    Summary: Hanamaki takes Matsukawa out on a date.
  • definitely by latenights
    Rating: G
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Summary: “So ungrateful.” Hanamaki clutches his chest dramatically, paired with a loud sigh. “Here I am, trying to save my best friend from the rain, and this is how I’m thanked? So rude. The youth these days.”
    “I’m just a few months younger than you, jerk.”
    “The poor, corrupted youth.”
  • something of a disaster by latenights
    Rating: T
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: birthday cake, confessions, terrible made up insults
    Summary: “This is the part where you make a wish and blow.”
    “Now, let’s not get too hasty—“
    “I meant the candles you bastard.”
  • there he is again by crossbelladonna
    Rating: T
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Summary: Day 5 #matsuhanaweek, Glasses // Piercings
    Fate just had to show him the way and he ends up at the back section of the library, facing the black-rimmed glasses, ears-with-plugs boy and five days later, Hanamaki’s sure he’s in it bad.
    He doesn’t even know his name.
    It’s definitely bad.
  • surprise, surprise by airblends
    Rating: T
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: travel, pining, fluff and humour, getting together, skiing, idiots in love, cuddling
    Summary: “Hokkaido?” Hanamaki makes a face. “What the hell would we do in Hokkaido?”
    Matsukawa smiles and pulls an envelope from his blazer pocket. A single receipt slips out and he hands it to his friend.
    “A room reservation at a ski resort?” Hanamaki shoots him a confused look. He studies the receipt again, slim eyebrows furrowed. Then he jerks his head up, eyes wide as saucers. “Wait. That’s my birthday. Oh my god, don’t tell me—”
    Matsukawa grins. “Surprise, surprise?”
  • something like magic by hananapeel
    Rating: T
    Warnings: no archive warnings apply
    Additional tags: alternate universe - harry potter setting
    Summary: take two pranksters and add stewed lacewing flies. stir thrice. wave a wand. make some idiots fall in love
Terrorised x3

1 - 2

Amelia and Owen decide to get a nanny to help out with their 3 naughty children and the 2 latest additions…


Owen had to stifle a smirk as soon as he opened the door. His kids were going to eat her alive. She was a petite girl, no older than twenty, blonde and perky. So very very perky.

“Hi,” she chirped, holding her hand out for Owen to shake. “I’m Susie.”

Owen shook her hand and introduced himself, stepped aside and gestured for her to come into the house. All the coats were on their named pegs, all the shoes were in their assigned places, and unusually there was a clear pathway from the front door, through the hallway and to the living room. Yes, yes, yes- the Hunt family had tidied up.

“You have a lovely home,” Susie complimented.

“Oh thank you,” Owen nodded, amused that she thought two surgeons with five children lived and maintained this ridiculously clean and pristine lifestyle. “Here’s Amelia, you spoke on the phone.”

Amelia smiled and briefly caught eyes with her husband. They needed less than a second to share a look and understand what the other was thinking.

“So nice to meet you Susie,” she greeted. “Please sit down.”

Amelia and Owen took a seat on the sofa opposite the small armchair that Susie chose.

“We’re really impressed with your qualifications. What was your time like at Didcot? I’ve heard that’s one of the best nanny schools in the country…” Amelia opened up the conversation.

“Really good thanks. I was there for a year when I was 18. The kids were so well behaved, I barely needed to raise my voice. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever shouted at a child I’m pleased to say…”

“Wow, that’s impressive,” Owen pondered.

After a short interview and a quick tour of the house, Owen and Amelia decided to introduce Susie to the children and leave her alone with them whilst they went upstairs to discuss their thoughts. Within five minutes, the couple heard a high-pitched ‘STOP IT!’. They looked at each other and grimaced.

“If any child was going to make her scream for the first time, of course it would be one of ours,” Owen sighed. “They love a good challenge.”

“LET ME GO!” they heard from the almost pleading nanny.

They jogged down the stairs, reaching the hallway where Susie was holding a baby in each arm. Maddie was by the front door feeding a garden hosepipe through to Jasmine, who was wrapping it around the nanny’s body in a trap whilst making an Indian war call with her hand to her mouth.

“Jasmine!” Owen yelled, running the rest of the way and grabbing the hosepipe from his middle child. He unravelled Susie, her cheeks flushing and a temper becoming clear.

“HOW DARE YOUR CHILDREN DO THIS,” she screamed. “I was with them for less than ten minutes- I’ve never seen behaviour like it!”

“I’m so sorry,” Amelia apologised, “I don’t know what’s got into them.”

“Well,” Susie huffed, scowling at Maddie who was winding the hosepipe back to its home, “I certainly will not be the one to find out.”

“I’m sorry,” Owen said. “Shall I take them back?” he asked, pointing to Oliver and Evie in her arms.

Susie dumped the twins onto Owen and muttered about disrespect and shocking disobedience as she collected her coat and bag. She stormed out the house.

“Bye Susie,” Maddie called, sweetly smiling and waving her off by the front door.

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 And let me tell you about it…

First thing first, the premiere was held at the Shinjuku Wald 9 and the theater was full (And no wonder because the day the general sales started, 2min after the opening of the online ticket booth, everything was sold). At the same time, a live-viewing was held at others theaters for people who couldn’t get a ticket here. At 2:15pm, the live host showed up, thanked everyone and announce the begining of the event. 

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silently resigned

I really really wanted to explore the idea of this happening, since spoilers seem to indicate that something along these lines might happen. Instead of doing the actual Damien Darhk and Felicity thing, however, I wanted to explore the aftermath, and I felt Laurel would be a great vessel to channel this. Especially since Felicity is distancing herself from Team Arrow and I wanted her to be distant from the reader as well.

Thanks for reading.

Also: title for this song comes from the song “Satisfied” from Hamilton the musical, which is currently taking over my life.

Rating: T/PG-13 | Words: 1,664 | Pairing: Laurel Lance & Felicity Smoak, Oliver Queen // Felicity Smoak | Canon Speculation, Season 4 Spoilers

gracias to piggiesaregreen for beta’ing. tagging supercavanatic, shadybirbs, redpendreaming

Laurel is a worrier.

She worries about Sara, her father, Oliver. She worries about her clients, her job, her team. She worries about herself, whether anyone can tell how close she is to falling apart on her bad days, whether or not she’s really as fine as she keeps telling herself she is-

Bottom line is she worries. A lot.

Today, however, her worrying has taken up a specific target. And that target is Felicity Smoak.

She’s been a little… off kilter since her encounter with Damien Darhk. Laurel can’t blame her; it’s pretty tough to find out that the actual incarnate of evil is your blood relative. Even harder when he only reveals himself to you because he thinks you share his tendencies. He’d showed her something. Or done something to her. Laurel can just tell by the way Felicity has closed herself off from the rest of the team. And she’s determined to find out what it is.

Because she knows personally how suffocating it can be to hold things like that inside of you. And Felicity is so obviously drowning. Quickly.

They’re in the barely renovated HQ down below Palmer Tech, the space that had once been Felicity’s pet project, but how seems slightly abandoned, supported only by the occasional touch from Thea or herself.

They’re down there together this time because Laurel had come to Palmer Tech for lunch and instead got a warning that Ms. Smoak “really doesn’t want any visitors right now.” Along with a brief warning from a young Mr. Holt about how the CEO had been locked in her office all day, not even taking calls.

Normally, Laurel would leave her be; Felicity gets like this sometimes, when she’s close to a breakthrough. She supposes it’s a side effect of the geniusness, but this time something’s different. Because the walls of her office are glass and Laurel’s not blind and Felicity is not sitting at her desk with high, tense shoulders and a pen in her mouth and that little worried crease between her eyebrows. No, the young CEO is slumped over in almost defeat, left hand in her short blonde hair, pulling the slight curls away from her face. And shielding it. That’s the most important thing. Because Felicity is right handed, so the only reason she’d be hiding her face like this would be if she’s crying and doesn’t want anyone to see.

“Let me in.” she tells Felicity’s assistant. She doesn’t take no for an answer.

read on ao3

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