i wish i could touch your face

A Mother's Secret

I know you think this is just for you. It is. I saw you in so many bodies today. So many eyes and faces, but the same scars on your arms. You ignored them or defied them or rubbed at them, ashamed… and my heart cracked open so these words could come out.
I wish I could wrap each one in a ribbon that says, “I love you. You are perfect.” I wish I could touch along the smoothness of your skin, stopping at each rough welt, so they know mercy. I wish I could forgive each injury and heal it, replacing the mark with knowledge it was just a step on your path and there is light at the end. I am a mother. And no matter your age, you are someone’s child and deserve to know you are safe.
You may not know this, but a mother’s heart beats in time to a fear that her child will someday fight a battle that cannot be won. I will fly screaming into any savage war for you, but the one that freezes me is the one I can’t reach inside of you. That one is yours and you will come home with your shield or on it.
I will not pity you. I will not fear you. But I see you and my heart cracks. You are loved. I cannot save you, but I will hope…. when you can’t.

“how big, how blue, how beautiful” sentence starters (pt. 1/2)

tw: alcohol + drugs

❝ don’t touch the sleeping pills, they mess with my head ❞
❝ remind me, what was it that i said? ❞
❝ remind me, what was it that i did? ❞
❝ did i drink too much? ❞
❝ am i losing touch? ❞
❝ what’s with the long face? do you want more? ❞
❝ you’ve been here before. ❞
❝ the water’s coming in fast! ❞
❝ i’d already had a sip, so i’d reasoned i was drunk enough to deal with it. ❞
❝ like always, you could never make your mind. ❞
❝ you inspired a fire of devotion ❞
❝ what kind of man loves like this? ❞
❝ sometimes you’re half in, and then you’re half out, but you never close the door. ❞
❝ now there’s a few things we have to burn. ❞
❝ i was making you a wish. ❞
❝ what are we gonna do? ❞
❝ we’ve opened the door, now it’s all coming through. ❞
❝ tell me you see it too. ❞
❝ i’m happy you’re beside me. ❞
❝ what is it worth when when all that’s left is hurt? ❞
❝ the damage is already done. ❞
❝ come on, is this what you want? ‘cause you’re driving me away. ❞
❝ i don’t know how i don’t just stand outside and scream. ❞
❝ i am teaching myself how to be free. ❞
❝ outside the world seems a violent place. ❞
❝ but you had to have him, and so you did. ❞
❝ some things you let go in order to live. ❞
❝ who made us this way? ❞
❝ i know you’re bleeding, but you’ll be okay. ❞
❝ hold onto your heart, don’t give it away. ❞
❝ i know it seems like forever. ❞
❝ one day this will be over. i swear, it’s not so far away. ❞
❝ i’m gonna be free and i’m gonna be fine. ❞
❝ another drink, just to pass the time. ❞
❝ it’s a different kind of danger. ❞
❝ never knew i was a dancer. ❞
❝ these chains never leave me. i keep dragging them around. ❞
❝ why can’t you let me know? ❞
❝ without your love, i’ll be so long and lost. ❞
❝ are all those bridges now old stone? ❞
❝ it’s been so long between the words we spoke. ❞
❝ i figured out where i belong. ❞
❝ it’s the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do. ❞
❝ can my dreams keep coming true? ❞
❝ i forget all that i’ve been taught. ❞
❝ i can’t keep calm, i can’t keep still. ❞
❝ it’s the hardest thing i’ve ever had to prove. ❞
❝ i went blind for you. ❞
❝ perhaps you don’t exist. ❞

You mysterious boy,  Tyler Seguin (Requested)

“Babe.” A voice whispered in your ear. You groaned, not wanting open your eyes, wishing you could sleep for another million years. “Y/N.” The voice said again, a little louder this time but just as gentle. You felt a hand on your arm, his soft fingers touching your skin, making you feel like porcelain. “Are you awake?”

“No.” You mumbled, pulling the blankets under your chin. 

He chuckled, kissing your ear softly, “I think maybe you should get up.”

“What time is it, Tyler? I don’t even see the sun out yet.” 

You felt his lips on your neck, a smile crept over our face. You hated awaking up early, but waking up with kisses from Tyler really wasn’t all that bad. “It’s 5 a.m.” 

“Are you trying to kill me, Tyler?” You rolled over, slowly opening your eyes so you could look at him. His hair was a mess but he still managed to look beautiful. 

“Well, our flight leaves in three hours so I wanted to make sure you were all ready to leave.” A mischievous smile forming on his face. 

You raised an eyebrow, unsure what he was talking about, “What flight? I have work today.” 

“We’re going to Spain, I wanted to give you something special.” He kissed you patiently, his fingers intertwining with your hair. 

“Holy shit, Tyler. Are you serious?” 

Tyler laughed, kissing your gaping mouth, “I’m one hundred percent serious, y/n. I know that I’ve been out of town for a while and that we’ve been both busy with work, so I wanted to do something special together. I figured it be time for us to spend alone, exploring a whole new city.” 

You scooted closer to him, wrapping your arms around him for a bear hug, “God, I am so in love with you.” You laughed, pulling away, “But what about work? And practice for you?” 

“Don’t worry about it, okay? Everything is taken care of. I just need you to hurry up and pack.” He laughed, kissing you again.

“Tyler, you truly are amazing. Thank you so much. I don’t even understand how you managed to do this, you mysterious boy.”

Tyler giggled, “You don’t have to thank me. I knew that I wanted to strengthen our relationship. I am very much in love with you, y/n. This little getaway will only make me fall more and more in love with you.”

Your cheeks flushed, you placed your hands on his cheeks and kissed him delicately. “I love you, Tyler.” 

“I love you too.” 

Hate That I Shouldn't Love You

Your smile has had
An affect on me since
The very first time
I set eyes on your sweet face.

The way you hold me
Makes me feel like we’re alone
And the way you touch me
Sends pleasant shivers down my spine.

Your sparkling eyes,
Two shining beacons in the night,
Probs that even in darkness,
There can still be light.

I wish that things were different
So that we could be together
‘Cause I hate that
I really shouldn’t love you.

Thank you!

Thank you all for the lovely birthday tweets and messages; I’m overwhelmed! I’m spending the day with my family but you all will be in my thoughts and long-distance hugs.

A birthday snippet from The Last Hours: Will being such a dad. :)

““Matthew told me what happened at the park,” Will muttered in a voice no one but James could hear. James shot a betrayed look at Matthew, who shrugged and gave him a half-smile. Matthew could be relied on to tattle on James if he thought it was for his own good. “Thank the Angel for Matthew and Thomas and Christopher.” He touched James’ face. “I regret ever having said that your generation was wasting its time with parties and boating and dancing. All I wish for you is to be able to amuse yourself in a pointless fashion during peace and never, ever be in danger.””

Dreaming

I was dreaming,
Thinking,
Of a world where I had found love.

The touch of lips,
The soft smiles.
Your sparkling eyes,
and your soft hair.

The scene was like a movie,
But I could feel it.
I didn’t see your face.
I didnt see mine.

I could feel that I was different.
Something was different.
It felt so right but I knew,
I had changed.

I wish I could still feel your lips,
Upon mine.
To see your smile,
And feel your breath.

Back in reality, I still feel its ghost.
The ghost of what I was,
Who I was,
In that dream.

I feel my heart flutter every time we lock eye contacts. Shit, you caught me staring at you again. Tonight, I was tracing your laugh lines, the little freckles that are scattered across your nose. The little dimple that hides when you smile and the creases in the corner of your eyes when you laugh. I touched your lips with only my eyes, but it felt real, the softness and the taste. I continued watching you as you were lost in thought, God you’re so beautiful when you don’t try to hide your face. The vulnerability shows, I can see your expression soften. I’m still tracing your face with my eyes, wishing I could touch you and kiss you. I focus on your eyes now, admiring how beautiful your eyelashes sit, the way your eye colours change from grey to hazel and back to grey. The way your eyebrow moves when you smile or are in deep thought. God I want to touch you… But a las, this screen between us blocks that. For now. One day, I will shatter this screen and will be able to trace all the beauty in you with my fingers and my lips. - ‘A Screen between us’
—  M.r.m (thistimelieswontexplain)
Jaebum #53

You rolled over to his side facing him. He was sleeping, beside you, naked. You smiled as you stare at his face remembering every feature he has, your favorite were the moles on his eyelid. You scooted closer filling the space there was between the two of you before kissing him gently on the lips. Still asleep. Your hand found his holding it a little tight not wanting to let go “It’s been three months already Jaebum-ah” you whispered but wishing you could actually say it out loud. “Three months since the day I met you” you continued letting your nose touch his “Three month since I saw that annoying smirk of yours” you chuckled lightly, remembering the first time you saw him and thought of how annoying his smirk was, he never left your mind since then. You sighed “Three month since I started falling ..” you said, sadly, staring into his closed eyes wishing it was staring back at you. “Am I stupid for letting you touch me and pretending this is real?” your hand rested on his cheek rubbing it softly with your thumb “What are we exactly?” you said as you cover you mouth holding your sobs in so it won’t be heard. You turned around, your back’s facing him. Silent tears came out as you try to be as quiet as possible not wanting to wake Jaebum up. “You tell me ..” an arm snaked on your waist slightly pulling you behind “Tell me what are we ..” Jaebum said snuggling his face on the crook of your neck leaving small kisses “Tell me you want us ..” he said stopping you completely from crying “Just like the way I do” he said.

As I lie in this hospital bed
In an opaque and dark room
With the beeping of the heart monitor connected to my chest
Long intervals in between of each beep
You by my side…

Oh, my love. How I wish it would all end now. My heart is struggling to stay beating, and my life is about to give out.
Every bone in my body is aching, and all my hairs have left my body.
My transparent skin shows my veins, and my body feels cold.
How I wish I could lift my hand and run it through your hair, or simply be able to touch your face and feel it’s warmth.

My love, such beautiful eyes shouldn’t see mine, colourless in without life.
This corpse of mine is not one I wish for you to see.
Turn away, my love. For I’m not worth a single glance.
If my lips weren’t dry and faded, oh how I would kiss you.
I’m lacking the strength to give you a passionate kiss, the type I would only give to the one I love.

Oh how I wish I could forget those good times we had. Perhaps that way I wouldn’t feel so miserable as now.
How I wish I could forget the days when I could walk with you and hold your hand.
The days when I could stand in the sunlight and look at the landscape around me.
The day we stood under the stars and exchanged our first tender kiss.
Mostly, the day when I saw you walking down the aisle
How beautiful you looked…
I remember how much happiness I felt when I realized that you would be mine and I would be yours for eternity.

My love, I’m counting down the days for me to go.
They’re coming to an end.
My darling, when I leave, I pass on these bittersweet memories to you.
Remember for me the days when we walked through the park together.
Remember the day in which we confessed our love for each other.
And remember the day where we vowed our eternal love to each other.

My love, remember me.

—  Counting Down
Black Velvet - Chapter 3

If you missed the beginning, it’s here.

Tags below the cut - still having issues with some of them, I apologize in advance if your tag doesn’t work!


He bent a little closer, still not touching you, but close enough that you could feel his breath as he spoke. “You want me, and you will accept that – eventually. I’ll hear you say it before I touch you.”

“Let me go.” You glower at him, barely restraining yourself from taking a swing at his face. “You’ll never hear me say it. I’ll die first.”

His smile grows and there’s a dangerous gleam in his eyes. “Be careful what you wish for.”

“Now you’re threatening me. Wow, you evil assholes really know the way to a girl’s heart,” you sneer, and his smile fades a touch at your insolence.

“I could haul your pretty ass to hell. Let some of the scum down there soften you up for me. I’ve got the power to do that. I’m a Knight of Hell, sweetness, and I could snap your neck and have you on the rack before you could blink.” He leans in a little closer. “I’d rather have you, warm and willing, topside. It’s a lot more fun, and a lot less messy. But don’t think for a minute that if you push me too far, you won’t pay the consequences.”

You stare back at him, still defiant even though your heart is pounding in terror. You finally look away, speaking quietly through clenched teeth. “Will you please let me go?”

He narrows his eyes, an arrogant pout on his plush lips before he grins, stepping back and gesturing with one arm. “Now was that so hard?”

You take one cautious step forward, then move quickly towards the hall. When his phone rings, you turn your head, surprised, slowing down as he answers.

Keep reading

4am

I’m laying in my bed. It’s 4am. And yet again I can’t sleep. I’m craving for something again. I’m craving for love.

I’m laying in my bed and I just feel like hugging you. To feel someone’s head on my chest. To go through their hair with my fingers.

I’m laying in my bed. I wanna touch your hand, your arm, your lips. I wanna feel your fingers with mine. Feel the tickle in my fingertips everytime we touch.

I’m laying in my bed and I wish I could look you in the eyes. Being calm for a second and just enjoy our company. Having a tiny smile on my face.

I’m laying in my bed. I’m happy. I’m here with you. It’s all I want, it’s all I ever wanted. I don’t need anything else. I just wanna lay here with you forever.

I’m laying in my bed but I’m alone. There is no one laying with me in my bed. There is no one I can touch, no one I can kiss, no one to love.

I’m laying in my bed. It’s 4am. I’m craving for love because I have no one I love. I’m alone. I miss you and I don’t even know you yet.

I’m just laying in my bed.

10

Happy Birthday Baekhyun~ ❤

You are our happiness and never fail to make us smile. Even when you are down you never show it and keep us EXO-L’s happy. You always put 100% into your dancing which is now perfection. Today is such a special day and I truly hope you enjoy it and that all your wishes come true. At first I never noticed you, but your blooming personality and face was hard to ignore. Your voice is honestly an angel from the heavens and never fails to emotionally touch the whole nation every time we hear you sing. We all wish we could be at your birthday party today and we are there in your heart.

We love you Baekhyun and will never stop being your Eries.

You moved on a year ago, you walked away in swift strides, and I wish I could say I did too. I see your face in a crowd and can’t look away, I trace the places you touched with shaking fingers, hoping to recreate the feeling of your skin against mine. When my watery eyes focus on the way your lips curl into a hesitant smile, I know it’s not for me. When your bright eyes search for mine, wanting to hold my gaze, I will look anywhere but your face. I can’t notice your smile without reading too much into it. Without getting my hopes up. You moved on but you won’t let go of me at the same time. You still hold on so tightly that every time I try to outrun you, you’re behind every corner I turn. And when I decide to give you another chance, you turn your back on me and no matter what I do, you won’t take it. We’ve been going in circles for over a year now and I fear we just can’t love each other at the same time.
—  “Everything was so different one year ago,” they say. But to me it’s not. We’re still the same.
n.j.

hello-btsfangirl  asked:

Bts reaction to their gf with big boobs not wearing a bra and asking them to hold up her boobs because they are heavy 😂

A/N: I’m laughing omg this is one of the strangest asks I’ve gotten in all the time I’ve been writing, but I love it!


Jin would be hesitant at first, but he would eventually comply with your wishes because he would want to make you happy. But he would still be unsure about the whole thing. 

Originally posted by jinful

Yoongi would just give you the biggest bitch face, but he would end up giving in as well for two reasons. First, boobs. And second, he is a total softie and if he could do anything simple to make you happy, he’d be all for it.

Originally posted by pdmin

Hoseok would be lowkey really happy because he would get to touch your boobs, but he would act like it was a big burden for him and would whine about it for the whole time. 

Originally posted by hopejungs

Namjoon would be hella excited because boobs

Originally posted by baebsaes

Jimin would just kind of laugh at you, but he would do whatever you tell him to do because he would want to make you happy. He would be really happy as well don’t even deny it 

Originally posted by sugutie

Taehyung would rather touch your butt, but he would be happy holding up your boobs too.

Originally posted by taehyyungs

Jungkook would be the most awkward person, but he would be lowkey happy because he would finally be getting to touch boobs for a long period of time. 

Originally posted by ofzico

A Poem

I wrote a poem today. I wrote a poem today and I read it aloud. It was quite sad. But, the poem itself wasn’t sad because it was about You. I spoke of your love for me, and your patience. I told them that long ago, I felt ugly and unlovable, and yet you told me I was beautiful. I described in detail our most intimate moments–how we laugh together in the middle of the night and You whisper to me of our future together. I told them of Your compassion. When sorrow fills my heart and tears stream down my face, You simply wrap me in your arms–where I fit perfectly–and tell me everything will be okay. I wrote about how you love me so much that you would die for me, and even though the love I have for you cannot compare, you love me greater still. Everyone was touched by my poem. “You’re lucky,” they said, “I wish I could find someone like that.” And that was the sad part, Jesus. I wrote a poem about You and they didn’t even realize it.  

twisting
turning
sipping on beer
scanning the crowd
of girls and girls
and more girls
and sifting through
their faces
trying to find the beauty
and tenderness
that is you
and I saw you hugging
some guy
arms long
and slender
and void of my touch
and I sipped my beer
because it gave
me the warmth
that I wish you
and your bed
could give me
in the stillness of
the night.
Yet still I thought
of you and how your
lips tasted like
pomegranate
and alcohol and
fuck,
I don’t like the taste of either
but the taste of them
on your lips could
get me drunk
and I swear I would still
only ever write your
name.

I wish my skin
Remembered someone else’s touch
I wish my lips
Didn’t long for yours so much
I wish my closed eyes
Saw another face
I wish I wasn’t someone
You could replace…
I trusted you
To be my first
You crushed my heart
Until it burst
Now here I am
A broken mess
I don’t feel human
I’m so much less
So thanks to you
No more hearts will be threatened
You were the first
And there won’t be a second.

it’s been 15 months and i’m still not okay

you make me feel ashamed

you make me want to rip every part of myself open in an attempt to get rid of the love for you flowing in my veins

you make me wish i had never let our lips touch because no matter what i do i will never be able to erase the thought of it from my head

and all i want to do is rid of you from my memory because i can’t even listen to my favorite songs without thinking about the stupid smile you would get on your face when i would sing them to you in your car and the way you could never hit the high notes but knew i loved when you tried to anyway

and most of all i want to forget how you make me feel like this is all my fault because i’m sitting here trying to figure out where i fucked this all up and all i can think about is how you’re going to find someone else who won’t be quite as quirky as i am or know the little things about you, and how you could still love them the way you could never love me

and i promise if i could take it all back i would, i never would have come to see you that night and i wouldn’t have told you that i love you but goddammit after it’s all said and done i still fucking love you and i would take feeling this awful every day if it meant you would look at me the way i always wished you would.

Ghost!Luke would make you feel crazy. You’d feel his presence late at night when you were sitting at the dinner table and feel his cold breeze come by. Sending goosebumps down your spine. You were terrified of him at first until you found out he was harmless. You would be home alone and hear his footsteps, or him shuffling something around. You lost your car keys? After turning around you’d find them on the table after checking there three times. And when you were emotional, you’d feel him there. It even made you want his touch sometimes. “I know you’re here. I just wish I could see you,” you’d cry. He wished that too. He hated not being able to speak to you. Only able to just give you his presence for comfort. Every now and then you’d catch glimpses of his tall figure coming in the hallway. Only in your dreams did you see his face. That’s where he loved visiting you. It was like an alternate universe. He touched you and you touched him. Slowly falling in love.

Autobiography, by Nicki Minaj

Please baby forgive me, mommy was young
Mommy was too busy, tryn’a have fun
Now I don’t pat myself on the back, for sending you back
Cause God knows, I was better than that
To conceive you then leave you, the concept alone seems evil
I’m trapped in my conscience I adhered to the nonsense
Listened to people, who told me, I wasn’t ready for you
But how the… (f*ck) would they know, what I was ready to do?
And of course, it wasn’t your fault
It’s like I feel it in the air, I hear you sayin’
“Mommy don’t cry, can’t you see I’m right here?”
I gotta let you know, what you mean to me
When I’m sleeping, I see you in my dreams with me
Wish I could touch your little face, or just hold your little hand
If it’s part of God’s plan, maybe we can meet again