i wish i could show her all my love

Hey Guys,

This is my Grandma Bess. Today she turned 90 years old.

Every single day, grandma Bess opens her computer after dinner and goes on my blog to see the last couple of things I’ve posted. She’s heavily invested in keeping up with her grandson. She is undoubtedly my biggest fan. If you’ve noticed, over the last couple of months, I’ve been taking my captions and post organization a little bit more seriously. It’s all been because of my grandma. She loves to read about my adventures and every single caption makes it more inclusive for her.

This weekend, my whole family flew in from around the world to surprise her and wish her happy birthday but I wanted to to wish her a happy birthday on here because I know she’s gonna be reading this tomorrow night. If you’re reading this grandma, Thank-you so much for supporting me. It feels good to know that there’s someone who always has my back.

It would mean the world if you could tell say some indepth kind words for my Grandma’s Birthday by replying to this message. I’ll show her all your birthday wishes tomorrow. Have a lovely evening

Cheers Karl

P.S. for some background info. her name is Elizabeth Santos (nee Enahoro). THIS is her brother, she’s the only daughter out of 10 kids, she loves to play the piano and She’s the awesomest grandma ever

Imagine Jensen and Misha talking about you when you miss a convention.

“Thank you.” Jensen said as he made eye contact with the woman who had just sent her well wishes to you; he patted his heart as he began to think of how he should respond. “It’s a deep emotional bond that we have; that we all have with the show, with you guys, and definitely with one other. When I say that Jared and Y/N are my brother and sister, I mean it; and right now Y/N’s going through a rough time and all the support and love you could give her, I know she’d appreciate it.”

Misha softly nodded his head with Jensen’s words, “Life has thrown Y/N/N so many things this year and right now she just needed to step back and regroup; and I just wanna make sure that everyone here realizes that it’s okay to do that. If you’re going through a tough time, it’s okay to step back and take a break. If you don’t you’ll just wear yourself down until you feel like you can’t get back up.” Misha spoke into his microphone.

“But just know that Y/N sends her love and that she wishes she could be here with us. Jared saw the signs and knew that Y/N needed this break; he had to practically force her to stay behind because she didn’t wanna let you guys down, but Danneel convinced her to stay at our place in Austin to help her take care of the kids; so know that she’s in good hands and she’ll give you guys an update when she’s ready.” Jensen said with a soft smile.

“Now.” Misha said as he clapped his hands and rubbed them together, he realized that Jensen was starting to get upset about you being gone. That’s why Jared wasn’t in the panel yet, he was worried about you so he decided to facetime you real fast, “Who wants to hear about the time that they let Y/N drive the impala and she drove it off the road?” Misha asked with a smirk, Jensen turned his head so fast at Misha’s words that he’s surprised he didn’t pull a muscle in his neck,

“She did what now?”

lovelytitania  asked:

Prompt: vicchan missing yuuri.

GET YOUR PUPS AND TISSUES FAM CAUSE OH BOY

—————————–

My master is very kind. He was much smaller when I first met him, and I haven’t grown like he has. He loves me all the same and he doesn’t treat me like a runt just because I’m small and I love him a lot.

He’s been sad a lot lately, water leaks from his eyes a lot and I do my best to clean it up for him and it makes him smile so I must be doing something right!

My master has always gone away for most of the day, it makes me sad but his family and all the strangers spoil me, they love to give me treats!

He has a bigger bag than usual now, he found me in it the other day and nothing I did made the water stop or made him smile. Maybe the bag is dangerous? I’ve stayed away from it.

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Forever Enough

Summary: [Pre-serum] Steve Rogers is determined to get into the Army, but you and Bucky keep trying to persuade him that it’s not a good idea.

Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes

Warnings: fluff, cute af!Steve, angst, arguing, character deaths [?]

A/N: @redlipstickandplaid  kinda requested this, I say kinda because she asked for some Fluffy Pre-Serum Steve where Buck and the reader try a deter Rogers from trying to join the army- and this, well, my brain had different ideas. Annie, don’t hate me too much, lmao <3



“You need to stop this, Steve,” you let out a sigh as you ran a hand through you hair, exasperated at your friends actions.

He shook his head, taking a seat on the couch. “I can’t. I have to do this,” he spoke with pure determination, that determination he always had every time he tried to enlist and still got denied on medical grounds. He wasn’t one to give up, that’s for sure.

There was a short silence before the door opened, revealing Bucky in his full army uniform. It was fair to say, he looked pretty angry.

“What were you thinking!” he threw his hat unceremoniously onto the spare chair in his frustration. Bucky took a deep breath, running a hand across his face, “you can’t keep doing this, man. Going as different names each time won’t change your medical records.”

“I just want to do something to help, alright?” Steve retorted, getting to his feet, a look of dismay across his face. “Everyone else is out there fighting and I’m just here- doing nothing to save anyone.”

It pained you to see him beat himself up over things that were beyond his control. “Steve, listen to me,” you walked over to him, your hand gently taking hold of his own, “you can help here, and you do help here. You help me just by being here, by being my friend in this crazy, horrible time.”

Those bright blue eyes looked up at you with slight hesitation before Steve spoke, “but I’m not enough, am I? I never will be,” he spoke in a broken tone before pulling away from your touch and making his way out of the house.

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Peter Pan Imagine/Memories

“So like before the group comes to save Henry Peter and the reader were in a relationship and when they got back to story Brooke, they erased the readers memory of Peter and hook is like her guardian now? And maybe like someone slips something and the reader is all confused because she realizes her memory was erased and stuff like that? IDK. It feels crazy writing it down, and in my head it totally made sense. Maybe if you can write something off of that, that would be amazing but if it’s too hard to follow I TOTALLY GET IT THANK YOU THOUGH “

Warnings: Cursing,fluff,memory loss,memory gaining, btw I kinda switched it up a bit but hope you still enjoy


You and peter were the perfect couple, you loved him dearly, and he loved you, even though he may not have always showed it, he did. That’s why when you got your memory taken away, it turned his life upside down.

Peter’s Point Of View

It all started out as just a regular day, I wake up and look at her, then kiss her on the forehead. I then rub her head and run my fingers through her hair, wishing it could be like this forever, but being king of the island, I have duty’s to attend to, lost boys to feed, and a island to run.

I get up slowly to make sure I don’t disturb her, and then on my way to the kitchen to make some breakfast, as I make breakfast , my best friend Felix greets me, we talk about everything, nothing, and the important things, he is my go to when I have problems , if I can’t explain something to Y/n, I always go to him, he is my most trust worthy, respected, and funniest lost boy, and for that I am forever grateful.

After making food Felix rings the bell and everybody wakes up, slowly but surely, I go into my cabin to check if Y/n is wake, she isn’t, no surprise.

“Baby, you gotta wake up now.” I say softly

“Mmmmm” She moans and rolls over to avoid eye contact

I laugh and get on the bed and rub her back “You gotta get up or the food will get cold, you don’t want that do you?” I asked

She puts the pillow over her head and blocks out whatever I have to say

“Oh that’s how it’s gonna be?” I jump on her and start to tickle her, she couldn’t keep it in and starts to laugh, hysterically, I loved these times with her, but they wouldn’t last.

Regular Point Of View 

As the days go by, you realize Peter became more distant, less loving, less caring, and it wasn’t your imagination, and it sucked , because you loved him, you would damn near die for him, this , this was when the arguments started.

“I can’t keep doing this Peter!” you yelled at him

“Excuse me ? Do what? You don’t do shit.” he says 

“I take care of YOUR lost boys Peter! And let me tell you they are very hard to take care of.” you fold your arms

“Nobody ask you to.” he turns away from you

“No , no they don’t but I do a damn good job don’t I?” you say

Peter just stays silent , not knowing what to say

“You’re lucky you have me, without me , Neverland would be nothing.” As soon as you said that you instantly regretted it.

“You should probably keep that pretty mouth of yours shut.” he said sternly

“Or what?” you said with the most sass you could give.

“Do you want to get banished?!” he yells

“Maybe I do!” You yell at him

“Fine then pack your shit.” he walks out the cabin, and that was the last time you seen him , until , well …

You see you lived with Hook, in StoryBrooke, he was your guardian, everything was good, until he started to date this Swan princess, she and her son, and the group were always in your and Hook’s way, at least that’s what you thought, but Hook really loved Swan, and it kinda annoyed you, Hook was like your big brother, and the only one you could talk to, with that , Emma was always with him, so that meant less time with you.

Well, Emma and the gang were getting annoyed of you to, they wanted to like you, but you lived with Peter for 2 years, your sass was uncontrollable, so Emma and Regina made a potion, a potion to erase your memory, the good, the bad, all of it, they regretted it the second they did it, but they had no idea hot to get your memory back.

It was like you were a totally different person, you were sweet, gentle, and kind, there was no sass in your blood, you might as well have been called the princess of StoryBrooke, you were so kind to everyone and they all loved you, they kept saying you were a “whole new person” but you always brushed it off, thinking it probably meant nothing. When it meant everything.

 One day Henry was caught, and you were kinda sad, Henry and you became super close, since you got your memory erased, you thought of Henry as your little brother, so you were very worried and sad that he was taken.

“We have to find him!” you say

“Well will don’t worry.” Hook says 

********

Finding out he was in Neverland you were a little taken back, you didn’t know why, but you had a bad feeling about this.

Stepping unto Neverland’s ground, the smells, the taste of the wind, it all seemed so familiar yet so unrecognizable, it confused you, but you let it slide, you were trying to pay attention to any clue’s on where your little brother could be.

“What if we never find him?” you start to loose hope

“We will, don’t think that way Y/n.” David says

You nod, and just keep walking close to the group

You then all smell smoke

“Fire!” Emma says with a smile

“Someone could be close, it might be Henry!” you say jumping up and down with joy

You all get pumped up and start to walk to the campsite, once you see Henry, you smile, he isn’t in a cage, he is sitting with a teenage boy, who looks your age, and maybe a little cute? You shake your head and run towards him

“Henry!” you yell as you squeeze him “Ohh how I missed you!” you scream

Peter just looks at you, he is in shock. He looks like he just seen a ghost, like you were dead, it was like seeing you for the first time all over again.

You look at him, and put your hair behind your ears, he notices, that’s something you always do when you’re nervous.

“Well.” he says as he folds his arms

“Well what?” you asked

Emma and the group walk over to you and Henry and Peter is still staring at you

“Uh, Peter.” Felix says

“You’re Peter?” you ask

Peter shakes his head, you should know who he is, he was your boyfriend for 2 years.

“Are you serious right now?” he asked

“Give us Henry and we will leave, how about that?” you asked nicely

“Oh Henry isn’t going anywhere.” Peter smirks “Neither are you.” 

“What?” you asked

“Y/n stop , are you going to apologize to me or what?” Peter asked

“For what?” you asked more confused 

“For our argument!” he says annoyed already

“What argument?” you said confused

“The argument we had before you left this bloody island without my permission.” he said with a stern look “You know nobody leaves this island without my permission, but yet, you still chose to disobey. Typical.”  he makes full eye contact with you

“I have no idea what you’re talking about..” you back away slowly

“You’re joking right?” he crosses his arms

“I never met you Peter Pan, this is my first time being on Neverland.” you say a little scared

“What the fuck…” Peter whispers

“I-I’m not crazy right?” Peter asked Felix

“No we all know you Y/n , you were Peter’s girl for 2 years.” he said

And all the lost boys nodded and agreed

“This is just some prank you guys are playing to scare me.” you say

“Why would we play pranks on something so serious ?” Peter asked

You look around and everything became dizzy, you start to panic and all you could do , was black out.

********

Peter kept you on Neverland , while Hook and the rest of the gang went back to Story Brooke, Peter insisted on keeping you, and basically he traded Henry for you. They accepted.

Knowing you would be freaked out Peter made your own private cabin, so that when you woke up, you would have time to react on your own, be ready to come out on your own.

You wake up and to your notice it wasn’t in StoryBrooke, it was in a cabin, a nice one, but it wasn’t yours, or was it? It was all so confusing.

You get up and go to the bathroom, you felt dirty but taking a shower was a no for you because you still didn’t know where you were, and you wanted to be smart about this.

You step out and Peter look’s at you, he signals Felix to go rush off with the lost boys, he wanted to talk to you alone.

“Why am I here?” you asked

“Because, you belong here.” he simply said

“No I don’t,” your voice started to crack “I belong in Story Brooke with my family.” you said 

“You really don’t remember do you ?” Peter shook his head “Look, I don’t know how or why, but your memory was erased, you were MY lost girl, my love, my baby girl, my everything.” he said 

“I was never-” you started but Peter caught you off with a kiss and you pushed him away from you as soon as he did

“What the hell?” You yelled

“I’m-I’m sorry I thought you’d remember if I-”

“If you kissed me? Peter I don’t even know you, what makes you think kissing me was your best option right now?”

“Because I fucking miss you.” he said , he looked stressed, his hands running through his hair, the other hand on his hip, his tongue licking his lips, he clearly knew you, but you, didn’t know him.

“I’m sorry, but I just really want to go home, where my family is, please.” you looked him in the eyes, and he nodded.

“If that’s what you want love.” he said

********

You were sent to Story Brooke and everything was normal, you lived with Hook, and the other group, Henry was your little side kick again, and it all seemed normal.

One day after school you got extremely bored, and decided to go into Rumple’s shop, he was telling you about different potions, and you found a memory one,

“This one will make you remember everything, but forget nothing, the bed, and the good. You won’t be able to erase a memory if you tried.” he said 

“I want it.” you said

“As you wish.” he said

Nothing happen and you got a little sad

“Why isn’t anything happening?” you asked

“All magic just doesn’t happen , it takes time.” he smiles

You nod,, about two days went by and nothing, you were about to give up , you started to do your homework, doing math, same old , it was boring.

Then all of a sudden it was like a huge deja vu, you remeber, you remember Peter, the lost boys, the mermaids, you remember it all, you fall of your bed and make a big thump, with the Hook comes up running up the stairs

“Are you okay?” as he opens your door

“I remember!” you yell , almost crying

“Remember what?” he asked

“Peter, the lost boys-”

“Wait you actually know them?” he asked

“I lived with them, I dated Peter, I don’t know them , I am them I am a lost boy.” you say

You hug him and tell him you love him, you do the same with Henry, promising to get in contact with them both as soon as possible,

You then head to Neverland, remembering how to get to Neverland, and taking all the shortcuts to the campsites you were ecstatic to see Peter.

“PETER!” you yell 

He turns around see’s you “Yn what are you-”

You jump into his arms and he catches you, you kiss his lips and he just holds you , never wanting to let go.

“I remember now Peter.” you say as you smile

“Good, because I miss you my lost girl.” he said as he smiled

“I miss you too Peter.” you kissed him once more.

2

T: She took me to the Sugarcube Corner to “only have a milkshake”, she said, but when we arrived everything was dark, and empty, with a big table on the center. I was confused while Pinkie looked very, very excited. She made me sit down and then disappeared, with a grin in her face. A few seconds later Rarity showed up, dressed in weird clothes, and started, like, randomly recite something. The moment she said “Be…” I realized what was going on and took my hands to my mouth, preparing myself for what was gonna come next… I couldn’t believe any of it. But yes, I loved it. After that, we all shared tons of laughs and ate together all the food made for the occasion. I wish I could relive it again…

P: You know, I could make some calls and…

T: No, Pinkie. It was lovely, but we won’t bother our friends for that.

P: Aww…

Shawn Mendes One Shot: The Ellen Show

A.N: This one is a little long like always. I really enjoyed writing it though. I’m debating a continuation, but I’m not sure? If you guys liked it or want more, please let me know! I’d appreciated it. ANYWAYS ENJOY!!

Also I got the inspiration for this one from @everythingshawnmendes ‘s work of “Spill Your Guts.”. Check that one out too!

The Ellen Show Master List

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“You’ll be on in ten.” A guy with a headset said quickly before poking his head back out the door.

My manager looked at me and smiled getting up from his seat. “You ready?” He asked.

I looked in the dressing mirror and look over myself sitting in the chair. My hair was in fluffy curls, makeup simple for daytime television. I had a nice blue tartan top on with a matte black skirt. I felt really good and was excited.

“Yeah. I’m good. Excited actually.” I smiled back grabbing my phone from my lap.

My manager went through tips for the interview. We had not given any specific limitations on questions as we didn’t have scandals or secrets the public was aware of. But regardless he went over them.

“It will probably be similar to last time. Maybe a little more different. You’ve gained a lot more popularity since the last time on the show. You know how she likes to blindside you with questions you’d have to be careful answering.”

I nodded but felt prepared. I scrolled through my phone waiting for them to call me to stage.

The guy with the headset turned up a few minutes later. “Alright, they are ready for you. If you’ll follow me.”

We got up from our seats and exited my dressing room. The guy in the headset began prepping me. “So you’ll wait at the steps and head down after Ellen introduces you. You’ll have the first part of the interview for about 5 minutes. She will cut to break. The second part of the interview will be a game, I believe you agreed to ‘Who’d You Rather?’ correct?”

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anonymous asked:

I want to see Kara comfort Mon-el. We’ve gotten nice scenes where Mon-el comforts & encourages Kara when she’s feeling down, but so far we haven’t seen much of Kara asking what she can do to comfort him. His parents being revealed is the perfect opportunity, once she forgives him for not telling his prince secret. Relationships are give and take, and so far I think Mon-el’s been in the comforter position more often. The revelation about his past could put them on a more equal playing field.

Originally posted by meanwhileongiphy

I wish we could just have a scene of Mon-El opening up to Kara about his past. Like a really emotional scene in which he just pours out all the traumas and difficulties of growing up in a rotten society whose values he didn’t agree with and with parents who were probably horrible and abusive and showed him no love or appreciation. That’s why he thinks so lowly of himself and even thinks he deserves to die. My lovely @anaveragegirl15 talked about this in one of her posts as well. Poor puppy. I want him to talk about that and deal with it.

Something that’s been on my mind for, like, ever and idk if it’s fuck corporate or fuck the physical size of our store. Or both. Our store isn’t allowed an assistant manager, just a manager and associates, because it is “too small” for one. Not enough sales to justify it, due in part to how physically small our store in particular is. It really sucks bc I’m 99.9% sure I would be ASM if we could have one since I’ve been there 6 years (9mo less than my manager and WAY longer than anybody else since I started), I’m a star employee, PLUS I’m always volunteering for extra hours I can’t have (we’re not allowed to work over 1,000hrs/yr >:( I hate it bc I always get within like an hour of going over it every year. It deserves a post of its own lol). We also have a fairly high turnover rate, so it’d be a huge relief for my manager to not worry about the schedule or people quitting, and “legally” pass some of her workload on to me if I could be assistant manager. Like, if she and I could both work full time, we would only need 1-2 part time people, because I don’t really have a social life. I swear the company has to be wasting more money having us train people who quit within a year than they would paying me as an ASM. But what do I know.

On the plus side, two years ago my manager did find out about and get me a promotion to “lead sales associate” which is technically more of a leadership role, but it was basically only a $1.25/hr raise because I was already doing the job. Kind of disappointing because I really wanted to learn new tasks, but I pretty much know all there is without crossing into management. I really appreciate all the effort she put into jumping through the million hoops corporate kept making up for her and it shows how much she values me. She recently told me via text that she wishes I could work full time because it would take a ton of stress off her shoulders.

Like, I love my manager so much and I really want to do everything I physically can to help her, but I don’t get to because it’s not in my job description. I do what I can, but there’s so much more I’m capable of doing if only I was allowed to ;-;

(But, ironically, I would never want to be full-on manager. Too scary. I’d be happy being #2 in command lol)

anonymous asked:

not to sound creepy but i like it when you mention your mom bc even though i've never met her, based on the small things you tell us about her, she holds a warm place in my mind. like a very caring and supportive figure who's joy bring you joy. she seems like a one in a million person you'd be lucky to run into

my mom’s the strongest person i know and i’m extremely grateful i can call her my mom. she’s someone who has taught—and continues to teach—me how to overcome my fears and struggles, to realize that i am more than enough just the way i am, to be kind and open-minded about everything and everyone, to have faith and believe in the purity and goodness of humanity, and most importantly to take care of and love myself.

my mom has always been so patient with me and genuinely loves me no matter what, from my hellish worst days to the days i cook and bake for her birthday. she’s kept all of my kindergarten clay pots, first grade drawings, middle school letters, high school bracelets solely bc i made them with her in mind. she kakao talks me every morning so i can start off the day brightly, in-between sporadically to check if i’ve eaten, and every night to make sure i’ve gotten home safe.

my mom’s my inspiration and drive to do well and live happily in life. she’s been my support system since day one. and she’s probably subconsciously the reason why i could never hurt myself enough mentally and emotionally or contemplate suicide any further bc i could never leave her to deal with that kind of pain. she’s already lived through so much from such an early age and she had to conquer all those obstacles alone. but she did. and that’s all that truly matters in the end.

i only wish i could be a better daughter, someone who treats her a lot better than i do. my mom knows i love her and she knows i care, but i want to try harder everyday to show my appreciation bc i don’t think i could ever repay her for all of the things she so selflessly has and continues to do for me and our family.

I might be in the minority here

but I actually enjoyed tonight’s episode. To be fair I never expect the season finale’s to be that great, because honestly I think they rely too much on shock value for their finales, which is why I probably liked this one because it was a good ending to what I think was a sort of lackluster season. I enjoyed several episodes this season but it’s far from my favorite. I wasn’t surprised at all that the Garbage Pail Kids turned out to be the snitches. I mean who else was it going to be but

 

I did love the part when she said she wanted to sleep with Rick. I was like…

 

Originally posted by bricesander

Fat Elvis can eat a bag of dicks.



I’m ready for him to die. And speaking of dying.


Originally posted by zimbits-trash

Sonequa Martin-Green gets all the awards….all of dem.


I loved that Sasha went out on her terms. The flashbacks to her and Abraham though got me in my feels, but I knew the minute that they showed the coffin what she was going to do and I could do nothing but salute her

 

And wish her well on her next ride. I got my Grimes Family 2.0 moments, loved the part when my boys thought they lost the center of their world. I still want to hear I love you’s and I want Carl to call her mom..

 

Originally posted by natural-fangirl

…but you know baby steps. Over all I’m happy and I can’t wait to next season.

anonymous asked:

How the RFA reacts to PDA?

Author’s note: i wish i could give my faves some PDA ;)

Yoosung

  • oh you already KNOW he loves it
  • he loves cuddling 
  • so much
  • like you wanna hold hands while grocery shopping? yes please. what about while doing laundry? only need one hand anyways.
  • andddddd he loves giving it as much as receiving it

Zen

  • hugs behind the back are his FAVE
  • also any time you play with his hair he’ll fall asleep even in public it’s actually a problem
  • he’s also all for dramatic kisses in public
  • he just really really REALLY loves showing you off

Jaehee

  • she’s also really big on hand holding
  • she also loves it when you rest your head on her shoulder while you two are waiting for something
  • she’ll get SUPER flustered when you kiss her in public but she still loves it 
  • she also loves forehead kisses those are her favorite kisses 

Jumin

  • the ice queen king
  • he tries to refrain from PDA to “keep up his image”
  • but that doesn’t stop you from pulling him behind a wall and giving him a kiss
  • he loves it when you hold his hand under the table
  • he feels like it’s you two’s little secret and it makes him feel so special
  • also in private his fave kind of cuddles are when he puts his head in your lap and you play with his hair
  • he will do anything for those

707

  • HE TURNS BRIGHT RED EVEN IF IT’S JUST A TAP ON THE SHOULDER
  • but he still gets upset when you don’t hold his hand when you two are walking around
  • he’s really happy with any kind of love 
  • even though it’s super dorky he loves it when you loop your arm around his
  • he also loves when you rustle his hair and laugh at him

Whilst reading the last pages of this book, (I was on the bus) I could not hold back my feelings.
Firstly, I was in denial. Then came despair, anguish, grief. But they rapidly turned into anger and frustration. Just like how Violet was feeling, after finding Theo. You could easily identify a constellation of tears on my lashes, as I noticed some people in my surroundings did. Someone asked me if I was okay. I said I was.

Violet, on the other hand, never cried in front of anyone. Never showed any signs of weakness. People would look at her and they would never know there’s a Before and After she met Finch. Her parents were worried about her because of this. She had gone through so much heartache and loss in less than a year, they thought she might do something she would regret, because of the whole “depression-by-association” thing most people unconsciously believe in. But she didn’t.

In Finch’s funeral, dozens of people showed up. Hundreds, even. Many had never said a kind word to him and most were from school. And they were all crying their eyes out. This made Violet furious. She kept thinking how fake this scenario was and how his family didn’t deserve to receive their condolences, because she was the one closest to him and who’s suffering his loss the most.

That evening, she tortured herself by reading all their conversations they had via Facebook. And then she opened the notebook she was using during their wanderings and wrote what follows:

“Letter to Someone who Committed Suicide”
by Violet Markey
Where are you? And why did you go? I guess I’ll never know this. Was it because I made you mad? Because I tried to help? Because I didn’t answer when you threw rocks at my window? What if I had answered? What would you have said to me? Would I have been able to talk you into staying or talk you out of doing what you did? Or would that have happened anyway?
Do you know my life is forever changed now? I used to think that was true because you came into it and showed me Indiana and, in doing that, forced me out of my room and into the world. Even when we weren’t wandering, even from the floor of your closet, you showed me the world to me. I didn’t know that my life forever changing would be because you loved me and then left, and in such a final way.

So I guess there was no Great Manifesto after all, even though you made me believe there was. I guess there was only a school project.
I’ll never forgive you for leaving me. I just wish you could forgive me. You saved my life.”

After this, she carried on with the wanderings for their project on her own. She took the map in which Finch had already pointed out their next destinations, even with a numerical order to follow. As she visited each place, she began to realize that he didn’t choose the order or the places at random, as she notices clues and evidence of his previous presence and they were all related to the messages he had sent her before he went to his final destination.

In the last wandering, she stumbled upon an envelope inside a Bible in this chapel, that was the “sanctuary for weary travelers to stop and rest along their way”, and the lyrics to the song he wrote her were carefully scrawled on a piece of paper inside it.

“You make me happy,
Whenever you’re around I’m safe inside your smile,
You make me handsome,
Whenever I feel my nose seems just a bit too round,
You make me special,
and God knows I’ve longed to be the kind of guy to have around,
You make me love you,
And that could be the greatest thing my heart was fit to do….
You make me lovely, and it’s lovely to be lovely to the one I love….
You make me happy…
You make me special…
You make me lovely…”

Even if their wanderings together weren’t recorded and she won’t be able to have physical memories of everything they did together, she realized that it doesn’t matter what you take, but what you leave behind.

She wrote him an epitaph.

Theodore Finch. – I was alive. I burned brightly. And then I died, but not really. Because someone like me cannot, will not, die like everyone else. I linger like the legends of the Blue Hole. I will always be here, in the offerings and people I left behind.

5

Style of the Week: Ashley Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

( I really don’t have enough Women of Colour as style icons on my blog - that will change)

I wish I could find more photos to show how in love I was with her style! This character was all about the cropped turtlenecks and pleated & plaid skirts paired with knee highs whilst always preserving a sense of sophistication, I loved it!

Million Reasons

Okay so this wasn’t requested by I sort of got the idea from Million Reasons by Lady Gaga (definitely recommend listening to while reading this). It hasn’t been edited or anything so I’m hoping it’s okay, if not I’m really sorry!!!! As per usual, please please please to send me any requests or ideas! TBH I sort of have a thing for like joker being a dick and then begging to get her back? Next time I pinky promise it’ll be lighthearted and no arguing!! Just good ol’ Joker fun 


Pairing: Jared Leto Joker x Reader

Warnings: Nothing really? I guess maybe like mention of physical abuse ??? but honestly nothing really. 


——————————————————————————————

This was your dirty little secret. No one knew, not your best friends, not your coworkers, and especially not your boyfriend. The Joker would not be okay with you going to church. You only went on special occasions such as a bad fight, emotional confusion, anything that made your chest heavy. It was nice to just be able to talk without having to worry about people hearing your every word.

Tonight was a an especially bad fight. Joker had always had a bad temper, never really calm, always unpredictable. Being his girl was hard, you never knew if today was going to be a good day or if today was going to be the day he finally snaps on you. Tonight was the night that he lost it. Never had he laid a hand on you that you didn’t want. Tonight was the exception. You didn’t have a clue what had happened, one moment he was fine and then the next his hand hit your face with incredible force. The sheer power behind the hit confirmed your fears of an awful black eye. That’s why you were at the church across the city where you were sure he couldn’t find you.

“I don’t know what I did wrong… I don’t know why he hit me. I just don’t know what to do. Please help a girl out?” It seemed as though you were talking to yourself but really you were talking to the man upstairs. You had no clue if he was actually real or not, you weren’t a huge believer but it still felt good to feel like someone was listening to you. “I just want everything to be okay. He’s given me a hundred million reasons to leave but he could give me one good reason and I would run back to him like a helpless little girl. I didn’t want this life. I wanted to find love and I wanted the man of my dreams to cherish me… Is that too much to ask God? Is it too much to ask to be loved? I’ve lost everyone… I’m completely alone. Lord show me the way…” At this point the mix of the painful mark on your face and the emotional pain that came with analyzing your life caused a single tear to slide down your bruised cheek. You quickly wiped it away, refusing to let this get to you.

“It’ll be okay y’know?” You jumped at the unexpected voice. You snapped your head around to see a friendly face, shoulder length brown hair, sparkling brown eyes, a supportive smile. She seemed friendly enough.

“At this point I don’t know… I’m completely lost. I don’t even know where to start. I don’t even know if anyone is listening to me up there. I just need everything to be okay. He doesn’t even love me.” She moved up to sit beside you. With a deep breath in she looked at you. You didn’t see pity in her eyes as you expected, but empathy.

“The bruise will go away and eventually so will the heart ache. I’m assuming the man you love did this to you?” she said, moving a piece of hair that had fallen over your face. You nodded and looked down at your feet, embarrassed that you had let it get to this point. “I know it’s a lot easier said than done but you shouldn’t stay with him. You need to love yourself as much as you love him. Take all the love that you’ve devoted to him and give it to yourself. Love yourself to pieces, respect yourself, admire yourself and how strong you are. It’s hard, I know, I’ve been where you are. When I was with my Andy I loved him to pieces regardless of the bruises that he gave me, regardless of how awful he made me feel. The last straw for me was when I ended up in the hospital with a bad concussion from him. A nurse told me something when I was lying in the hospital bed. She said, ‘The love you give him must become the love you give yourself. The best way to show him he hadn’t completely broken you is to show him how strong you are. Show him that you are much stronger than he could ever be. Love yourself darling, give yourself everything he couldn’t.’ I think about that a lot actually. I think about how much that one woman changed my life. I figured I’d pass the message on,” her voice softened towards the end attempting to create a calm atmosphere.

“I wish I could leave him but I can’t. He’s all I have left. I can’t leave him.”

“Y/N. Why are you in a church?” The voice you were dreading to hear came from behind you. The weight collapsed on your chest making even the simple task of breathing impossible. You simply looked down rather than answer him. “Y/N answer me.”

“I come here whenever I don’t feel good. When we’ve fought, when you’re angry at me for lord know what reason, when I just don’t know what to do, when I’m lost. I come here to talk with no consequences okay? I come here when I need to think.” The words came out in one fast breath, worried that if you tried to breathe you wouldn’t be able to say a word. He stayed silent, processing what you had said. He hadn’t realized that he had caused so much turmoil in your life. He never meant to hurt you, he just didn’t know how to care for people.

“Y/N come home.” You shook your head, face scrunching up as you really started to cry. You couldn’t handle this anymore. You were utterly terrified of the man you loved. He had never said ‘I love you’ but you always thought that deep down he did, that deep down he cared for you and he needed you. You couldn’t live in fear that he would hurt you again. You turned around, facing the front of the church and stayed silent for a moment.

“J you hit me.” Your voice was shaky and quiet but clear and loud enough for him to hear. Those words tugged at the Joker’s heart. He never meant to hurt her, especially not physically. He never meant to tarnish her flawless skin. As much as he hated to admit, in fear that it might take away from his ruthless image, he cared for her quite deeply. You studied his face as he fell silent, unable to produce enough words to form an acceptable apology. He simply just shook his head in shock and backed away from the girl of his dark, twisted dreams.

Your face fell at the lack of his apology. You hoped he would at least try to fix things so that you had that one single reason to stay with him. You were desperate to have someone by your side, desperate for someone to take care of you, to give you everything you need or want, you were desperate for someone to fill the void left by the loss of all of those you ever loved. You were desperate for him.

“J if you can’t make this better then I’m going to go. I’m too strong to let you hit me. I’m too strong to let you control me. I’m too strong to be in fear of you and the things you’re capable of. “If you can’t fix this then I’m done J…” It pained you immensely to say those words to him. He wasn’t on for emotions and you knew that but the look in his intense blue eyes showed you everything he was thinking. They showed that he regretted his decision to hit you, you could see every emotion he could ever feel.

“I can make this right. Anything you want, anything you need, I can get it for you. I’ll pamper you and spoil you and I’ll treat you like my queen. You’re the light of my life Y/N. You keep me as sane as I could ever be. You can’t leave me Y/N. You can do this to me. You’re the one I want, you’re the one I need. Baby if I was king you would be my queen. You’re good for whatever bits and pieces of my soul are left. I can’t do this without you Y/N. I’ll make this better baby,” he rambled, in need of your acceptance and approval. “Give me one more chance Y/N, I promise things will change. I would do anything for you,” he pleaded.

You gave one sharp nod and headed towards the doors of the church. He exhaled a deep breath of relief, elated that you agreed to come home. You didn’t know if you were making the right decision or not but love makes someone do crazy things. Maybe you were blinded by your love for him, maybe not, but you trusted yourself to give him this one last chance. He walked up behind you and placed his hand on the small of your back and placing a single kiss on the top of your head.

“You’re mine Y/N, you always will be and I will always be yours.” You slightly leaned into him and rested your head on his shoulder. He visibly relaxed as he felt you against him and pulled you in closer. In this moment you knew you were his and he was all yours. Entirely devoted to you til death.

We lost one of our own today. Louise McLellan, affectionately known to us Lizzington shippers as “Lou Lou”, lost a long, courageous battle with cancer. Even after everything that she had been through, I never met anyone who remained as positive and hopeful about the future as she was. She always had a goal, a destination, that she’d set her sights on, any time she had to go through another round of chemo. She taught me the importance of having the right attitude in life and to never be ashamed of who you are or what you love. And for Lou Lou, she LOVED James Spader!  She was what some called a “fierce protector” of James, and this was true in every sense of the word. If I could have had one wish for Lou Lou, I wish she could’ve met James. I know she would’ve been the happiest woman on earth.

Besides her ardent love for James Spader, she loved her shipmates so much. She made it a point to always keep in touch, no matter what. For me, she always commented on pictures I’d post of my son. How big he was getting, how cute he was. It amazed me so much how someone that I met just by watching a stupid TV show could care so much about my life. But that’s who Lou Lou was. She truly enjoyed being a part of all of our lives, even outside The Blacklist. There are no words to express how brokenhearted we are all feeling in our fandom tonight. We truly lost a great one and she is going to be missed. 

As a tribute to Lou Lou, we’re trying to come up with a couple things to remember her by. I am finishing a video I abandoned long ago that I know she would’ve loved, and will dedicate it to her.

My friend @irish-buzzsaw had a fantastic idea of using Lou Lou’s love for red lipstick and post one of her patent red lipstick selfies on instagram or Twitter with the tag #RedLipsForLouLou

And I had one more idea that would be AMAZING if we could make it happen, and that was to reach out to the Blacklist writers and see if they would be willing to name a character after Lou Lou. Like one of Red’s associates or something. It would be so awesome. We need to think of some hashtags for twitter for this though. 

Please feel free to reblog with suggestions for hashtags, or to leave condolences or any other ideas you may have to remember Lou Lou by.

Mr. Ketch

I’ve been seeing a lot of shipping of this Ketch person. What absolutely boggles my mind is people seem to be forgetting he is a world class misogynistic asshat. This one string of dialogue demonstrates my point:

SERENA: Ketch.
KETCH: Serena. Oh. You’re headed past the armoury, you wouldn’t mind. Unpack, re-shelve, and my Sig Sauer could use a good scrubbing. *hands her his duffel*
SERENA: *takes duffel* I have three PhDs.
KETCH: And we’re all very proud of you love.

I wish I could get the inflection of their voices here. I also wish I could make video clips and gifs (I welcome anyone who wants to gif this scene for me. Please. Pretty please).

This entire exchange shows Ketch’s character beautifully. He’s dismissive, superior, condescending, misogynistic, and a general asshole. Serena begins the scene saying his name like he told her has has an STI only after finishing in her mouth. He says her name with disdain and proceeds to give her an order similar to how one would speak to a maid. She responds by reminding him of her educational background as if this wasn’t the first time he’d forgotten. He promptly dismisses her as one would a slave who attended school.

What absolutely kills me is when she takes the bag from him. Like, fuck you asshat, put your own shit away. But no, she’s the girl and must do what the big boy tells her to do, because that’s life.

And people ship him. Do as you please, obviously. Sail all the ships you want. But I don’t understand this one.

He’s a good looking man and that apparently outweighs the person he is. So as long as you’re handsome, you can behave however you’d like? What? Wait.

Something I’ve noticed in television and movies: if the male actor is not attractive, he is a villain. If he’s attractive, he’s a hero. Seriously. Think about all the shows you watch, all the villains and heroes. There are exceptions to this rule but the exceptions fall more towards a good looking man being a villain than an ugly man being a hero.

If Ketch was cast as an unattractive man, let’s say Rick Hoffman:

….would you still ship him? Why not? He’d be the same character. Same guy that speaks down to women he believes to be inferior. Same guy that would approach Dean with expensive liquor. Same guy that could use his toys to kill masses of monsters. But he’s not pretty.

What does all this say about our society? Only people who are good looking have value? Only pretty people can get away with repugnant behaviour? Are you good looking, reader? Are you handsome or pretty? Would you be cast as the hero? If not, do you have any value?

Of course you do! That’s one aspect of feminism: I’m of value not just because I’m a pretty face, I have intelligence as well and am equal to people born with a penis. But is that what our society demonstrates? Nope. If you’re pretty you have value. If you’re ugly, you are a villain. Pretty sure this goes for both men and women. Well, not really. Women villains are frequently good looking because ugly women don’t get casting roles.

I get it: fandom is fantasy. Anything goes. The problem is our media and our interpretation of media influences our lives. If someone is shipping Ketch in a super sexy positive manner and completely ignoring his character, what will you do in real life when you encounter a handsome man that treats you like garbage? Go out with him anyway to make your friends envious of the beautiful person who wants to go out with you? Reject him? Keep him around for arm candy?

One last thing: so many people complain about bucklemming writing rape scenes. If bucklemming wrote Ketch raping someone, would you still ship him as the hero? I’m guessing ‘yes’, because he’s easy on the eyes.