i wish i could have a redo

anonymous asked:

Honestly same, I hate that Hanzo is neglected by Blizzard and wrongfully hated by most of the fandom. As a Japanese person with actual cultural and historical knowledge of Japan, it kind of freaking hurts when such a tragic and high-potential character like him is left for the dogs.

For what we have, Hanzo is a really good, complex character with a lot of potential that I just wish that Blizzard would fucking acknowledge; he could have an amazing healing/redemption arc if they could just get to it. I mean, we got the tiniest glimpse at the new Hanzo in Reflections, but how long now will it be before we get any more content for him? For whatever reason it takes them god damn ages to crank out any lore, when even then it’s only in their 10 page comics at best. The fact that they dropped First Strike to redo it only pushes back the possibility to focus on other characters besides the original Overwatch team even more.

I’m not even overly interested in the news drop next week about King’s Row seven years ago; it appears to be more Tracer stuff.

They neglect Hanzo so fucking badly that out of all the events he only has one thing unique to him; his Demon skin. I don’t count the RIP pose or event voice lines since those go to everyone. Can you believe Bastion has six things? (x

Even so, that only covers Blizzard’s half of it, like- the fandom gives Hanzo such a bad rap because??? A friend of mine (@bewvitched) not too long ago had people giving her shit for saying Hanzo deserves better. They said something along the lines of, ‘He killed Genji, so no, he doesn’t deserve redemption etc etc. 

Like, what the fuck? I don’t even- Just, I don’t wanna go down the many roads of wrongness there. In general, I’m just so tired™ of people legitimately bashing on him.

In summary, I love Hanzo Shimada. I’d die defending him. But also, Blizz needs to deliver him an event fuckin’ soon.

Forgive Me

Jon: we never should’ve left Winterfell 

Sansa: don’t you wish we could go back to the day we left? 

Jon: how could we know

Jon: we were children 

Jon: *smiling* you were occasionally awful… I’m sure i can’t have been much fun, always sulking in the corner while the rest of you played. 

Sansa: *laughs softly*

Jon: there’s nothing to forgive 

Jon: alright, alright I forgive you

((OOC: when you can’t think of a thread idea but really want to play around with a character so you just redo a scene… I promise there is some GOT stuff in the pipeline though *stares meaningfully at @manseyfuls-patronus and your beautifully cruel mind*))

eene-fangirl  asked:

What are your top 3 favorite Edd moments and why?

My top 2 favorite scenes are, unsurprisingly, from Big Picture Show, and both draw connections between the anger and sadness at the foundation of the relationship between Edd and his parents and Edd and his friends:

Even though I’m all about Eddy’s story in the movie, I feel like the visuals and sound design fell pretty short for him.  A little too much of the emotion in Eddy’s story is left to the audience’s imagination, and not enough of it is put into the camera angles and color schemes.  This is not the case with Edd, who has these fantastic emotional-rollercoaster scenes directed meticulously, of course, by Raven Molisee. Despite lacking the meat of his story in the movie (reliving getting kicked out of his old town for the dodgeball incident), Edd’s scenes are so engaging that they carry most of the movie for me.

From shrinking and crumpling into tears to furiously scribbling and performing all manner of anxious gestures, this scene is loaded with the type of visual storytelling that make me wish EEnE could have a chance to redo the movie theatrically.  Edd’s confession letter is also such a dark concept and it makes my mind run wild with the repercussions it may have had when his parents found all of these half-written messages. I can only imagine they interpreted it as a suicide note, and I remember hearing that this was one of few scenes CN gave notes on because they were worried it seemed like Edd had killed somebody.

By the swamp scene, the budget has lowered so there isn’t as much shading and color direction, but Raven’s storyboards are so detailed, no moment of Edd’s cathartic rant goes undersold.  My favorite part is “EXCUSE MY SINCERITY FOR THINKING I HAD LOST THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE I HAVE LEFT IN THIS WORLD” because it always feels like an admission that Edd has given up on his parents.

I have less to say about my two other scenes… Pretty much all of ‘A Fistful of Ed’ is my favorite Edd story, and I’m sure I’ll go over the emotional resonance of this episode repetitively this month, but I’ll pick the botanical garden scene in particular because its color direction is on par with the first BPS scene I described:

Finally, I wanted to pick one pre-digital era bonus scene.  This scene in ‘Run For Your Ed’, where Edd silently locks the Kankers out of his house and turns away from the door before panicking, KILLS me every time.  Edd has tons of funny little moments like this and it took me a really long time to pick just one, but I have to go with this scene because season 4 was far from my favorite season, especially for Edd, so it stands out as a moment where this era of Edd managed to steal the show for me.

Other favorite tidbits I considered include the static electricity lesson in ‘Every Which Way But Ed’, his adrenaline in ‘Know It All Ed’, 88 Fingers Eddward in ‘Avast Ye Eds’, “a tad peckish” and “a stubborn lid, this” from BPS, and Edd turning Eddy’s home movie into an art film throughout ‘An Ed is Born’.

Joe’s Diner (1/3)

Summary: the reader works at a diner and a mysterious man comes in and somehow changes her nights (v bad at summaries pls just read)

Pairing: bucky x reader

Word Count: 1151

A/N: this is my first mini series so like pls be nice on me bc im smol

The bell above the door chimed as the door opened and a gust of the night’s cold winter wind rushed in and hits your back. You let a deep sigh as your put down your study material and swivel around on the bar stool to face the person who walked.

“Welcome to Joe’s diner,” You greeted automatically in that fake chipper voice. You glance up at the stranger as you walked towards the hostess stand to grab a menu and you notice that the man looks mysterious but somehow inviting. He’s wearing black sport shoes with jeans and a red henley that looks so good stretched out across his broad chest; on top of that he’s wearing brown hoodie layered underneath a forest green jacket. You notice that he has long luscious chocolate colored hair that reaches his shoulders and he hides his face with the plain navy blue baseball cap that rests on his head.

“Where would you like to sit tonight, sir?” You asked as you pulled the menu out from the shelf from the stand after you were done checking him out shamelessly.

“The back,” he responded in a low husky voice, nodding his head towards the last booth in the back of the diner.

“Alright, follow me.” On the way to his seat, you noticed that you had been walking with more a swing in your hips and you were glad that you weren’t facing him because a blush quickly rose to your cheeks.

“Here we are,” you said as you laid down the menu and moving to the side so he could slide into the booth, “I’ll give you a minute to look over the menu.”

When you turned around, about to walk to the bar and study again, you saw your co worker/boss, Martha, standing by your work station with a smirk on her face. You shook your head and made your way over to her, knowing that she was going to freak about the handsome man that had entered the diner.

“What a catch,” Martha said with a wink. You turned your head back around to sneak a quick glance at him and you smiled to yourself.

“I know!” You replied, turning towards her again.

“Damn he looks good in that shirt,” she muttered, thinking that you wouldn’t hear her but you did and you gasped before playfully smacking her arm.

“Listen honey, if you don’t make a move on that man, I will,” she said with a serious expression.

“Oh-okay,” you replied with a laugh. Unbeknownst to you and Martha, the man heard every word of the conversation and a small smirk graced his face but he soon wiped it off when he heard you coming back in his direction.

“Can I get you something to drink? Or are you ready to order as well?” You asked in a flirtatious tone as you took out your notepad and pen.

“Orange juice and the four piece french toast, please.”

“Alright. Coming right up,” you replied as you took the menu from his hand. Your fingers brushed over his briefly and another blush crept up onto your cheeks, so in order not to embarrass yourself any further, you scurry away.

“Embarrassing,” Martha said as you placed the order with the chef.

“What? He’s very attractive and I’m not good with those kinds of people,” you explained yourself. Martha let out a laugh as she handed you the glass of orange juice.

“Don’t mess it up,” she said with and gently pushed you in his direction.

“Here’s your glass of OJ. I hope you enjoy it,” you said as you carefully place the glass in front of him.

“Thank you,” he says and squinted at your name tag, “Y/N.” The way your name rolled off his lips was like watching syrup being poured over freshly cooked pancakes, almost pornographic.

“You’re, uh, welcome,” you stuttered.

“James,” he said with a smile sticking out a gloved hand for you to shake.

“Y/N,” you replied, “but you knew that because you just said it because you just read the name tag that I wear because I work here and it’s part of my uniform,” you rambled. Instantly you wished that you could turn back time and redo this whole conversation.  James let out a chuckle as he raised his glass and took a sip.

“Anyways, I gotta get back to studying. So see ya later. Well not really because I have bring out your food but like….I’m just gonna go now,” you said, incredibly embarrassed. You just turn around and walked back to the bar where Martha was laughing like hyena at your blunder.

“Shut up,” you mumbled under your breath.

Once his food was ready and you brought it over to him, he thanked you with a million watt smile that made your heart flutter and all you could get out was a hushed ‘you’re welcome’ before you went back to studying.

“I’m clocking out Y/N. Can you take care of this place for me?” Martha asked while she was packing up her purse.

“Uh, really? You sure?” You questioned, afraid of being alone with James and not because you find him scary, but because you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of him.

“Yeah honey, I’m sure.” She responded as she rounded the corner of the bar and walked over to you, “remember, give it a try,” she whispered as she squeezed your shoulder before walking out.

“What does that mean!” You half whispered half yelled to her receding back. Martha laughed and waved her hand before making the bell chime when she left. You looked back over to James and saw that he had finished eating and was currently on his phone checking messages.

“Can I take this plate away?” You asked as you walked up to his table, startling him a bit.

“Yeah. How much was it?” He asked as he reached for something in his wallet.

“Uh, $12.30.” James laid down a twenty, “keep the change doll.” He said as he got up. You gawked at the large tip he was leaving you with and stepped back a few steps to allow him to get out of the booth. A strong husky, winter lodge type of smell filled your senses and you realized that James and you were practically standing chest to chest as he looked down at you.

“Thank… thank you,” you stuttered out. He licked his lips and eyed you before he started to walk towards the door.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” You asked and watched him pause. You panicked thinking that maybe that was too forward.

“I sure hope so doll,” he said flashing you a wink and smile before leaving. You felt extremely giddy and like a schoolgirl after this encounter and for the first time you were excited for work tomorrow.

tags: @capsbuchanan @writingruna @crownie-sr @harleyqueen7 @httpbarnes

i hear love lasts in the summertime.

i would have liked
to know you in the summer,
spend warm days
by open windows,
cornfields and rain,
big trucks,
a few beers too many
on rotation
and not a care in the world,
a season of futures
beyond the snowy nights
and all those useless fights
that i wish i could take back,
that i wish we could redo,
i wish
were here.

Wishes Part 4

Part 3

Genre: Angst, Fluff
Words: 1,608
Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings: Violence
Summary: Life has turned miserable for you in only a week, and your captain is partially to blame.

“Walk.” Bradley pushed at him with the gun right after taking Steve’s communications device out of his ear and crushing it on the ground. His voice barely registered in Steve’s mind. It was alarming, actually, how he couldn’t pull into his training in that moment. His mind had shut out any possibility of defending himself, focusing solely on the image of your body lying still on the concrete floor, the eruption of the gunshot echoing in his ears. He could hardly comprehend what had just happened, the sudden action taking him off guard and sending him into a state of shock. He felt he was in a nightmare.

Keep reading


what an eventful day at mcm!!!!! overall i had such a great day even though there were a couple of things that didn’t go quite right, the first being that billie piper couldn’t make it today so i didn’t have my photo session with her :( :( :( :( :( but it’s okay because meeting and getting autographs from hynden walch and jeremy shada more than made up for it!!!!!! i wish i could redo it again though i was an awkward mess when it was my turn to go see them lol but anyway hynden was so swEET SHE SAID I LOOKED STYLISH AND THAT I DID GREAT WHEN I SAID I SHOULD’VE THOUGHT MORE ABOUT WHAT I WANTED TO SAY AND JEREMY LOOKED GOOD AF AND SHOOK MY HAND BEFORE I LEFT I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO BE ALIVE RN)

secondly i spilt some chicken katsu curry down myself so my outfit was ruined so that really sucked and i was trying really hard not to have a public meltdown as i tried to figure out what to do and long story short i just bought a cute new skirt to wear and everything turned out a-ok👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

i bought some snacks and drinks as well as a soft new friend and some BTS albums!!!! i also planned to take loads of pictures of my favourite cosplays that i saw but i got distracted by a group of girls dancing to popular k-pop songs and they were absolUTELY KILLING IT YOU GO GIRLS

lastly a massive shoutout to the guzma cosplayer in the above picture with me your cosplay was bomb af and i completely and utterly adore this picture of us 💖💖💖



a 22 year old gummy bear 

Changing resolution to comic pages from 300dpi to 600dpi in Manga Studio

So, due to my ignorance and noobness, I had the misfortune of drawing all my comic pages at 300dpi and with imported screentones filled with moire! Of course, when it was time to prepare the files for print, I had to fix them all if I wanted them to look nice and flawless in print! 

At first, I thought it would be near impossible to finish in a couple of months, but I found a way to do it faster! There are probably other (and better) ways to do it, but when I was looking for tutorials online, I couldn’t find any! Apparently, I’m the only noob out there who didn’t work on 600dpi from the beginning u-u…

If all you need is to change resolution, you just need to export your page at 600dpi, but if you’re like me and have to change formats, like A4 to B6, or a custom page size, then follow the next steps:


Open your 300 dpi file.

Create a new layer folder, select all your layers (except the sketch ones) and move them there. It should look like this:

Now select all (Ctrl+A),and copy (Ctrl+C).

Open your new 600dpi page.

And paste. In my case, I had to change from A4 to a custom 5.25 x 7.685 page, so if it appears bigger, you will have to shrink it down. 

Type Ctrl+T to transform, and either resize the page yourself, or type a “shrinking” percentage. In my case, I typed 65% in Absolute Values. It will look like this:

Now your page has been resized, and it may have white borders or screentone leftovers, so you just have to fill/clean them out.


Now that you have your page ready, you will notice the lineart looks a bit jaggy and the screentones out of place. The lineart will look better once you print your page, but you will have to replace most of your tones.

This is how it looks before changing tones. Notice the moire on the screentones?:

I’ll replace most of them with tones that are best suited for 600dpi. Don’t worry, you don’t have to redo everything! Just select with the magic wand on each layer, Invert selection, delete with Del (or Supr) and paste the new tones into the same selection. 

Now it looks like this: 


You probably can’t tell the difference now, but let me show you how it looks in print:

This happens when you resize a 300dpi file to a 5.25 x 7.685 page size:

This is after resizing, at 600dpi: 

I wish I could show you in real life! Too bad I don’t have a scanner right now, but it really makes a difference!! The first one is so hideous! All this effort will definitely be worth it when it’s in print! *u*

Good luck and feel free to ask if you have any question! :D


Type: angst

A/N: Everyone’s been asking for part 2 and here it is! Writing this was painful so readers be warned: it gets super angsty. It’s also kind of long whoops. Anyway, enjoy!

Part 1


That was humiliating, you thought as you slammed the door shut and leaned on it to catch your breath. You ran the entire way home, only stopping when you’d reached the safety of your bedroom. Your heart was racing and you felt so tired. You were physically and emotionally drained.

You collapsed on your bed, feeling the need to cry again but not being able to produce tears. Everything felt so messed up. You were so angry and confused. Why would he kiss you? At first you assumed he was just trying to take advantage of you, but then you remembered the look on his face while you were yelling. What was going through his head?

It wasn’t that late, but you were completely exhausted. The last thing you remembered before falling asleep was the ghost of his hand gripping your wrist, and heat spreading up your arm and through your body. 


“Y/N, you have to get up now if you want to get to school on time!” you heard your mom calling. You groaned and dragged yourself out of bed. You were still wearing your clothes from yesterday and your head was pounding. Damn, how long did I sleep for? You wandered into the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror.

Suddenly memories of yesterday flooded back to you making you feel nauseous. Yoongi probably already told all of his friends about the kiss, and gossip like that spread like wildfire at your school. You couldn’t take anymore public embarrassment at the hands of Min Yoongi, and you definitely couldn’t face him today.

You threw on some comfy pajamas and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Your mother was busy making some breakfast and getting herself organized for work. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” she said pleasantly as she scooped some food onto a plate for you. She paused when she saw you.

“I don’t feel very well,” you said weakly. “I think I might be sick.”

Her eyes softened and she set the plate on the table. She knew you weren’t telling the truth; she always knew. But she also knew what you put up with at school. She’d tried multiple times to get the school to intervene on the bullying problem, but nothing was ever resolved. She even offered to let you change schools but you knew that would just add extra stress into her life. It wouldn’t be better somewhere else anyway. Kids were mean wherever you went.

“Ok, well if you’re sick I should probably call the school to let them know you’re not coming in today,” she said. You were grateful that she wasn’t making a big deal out of the situation. You walked over to her and gave her a big hug to say thank you, then hurried back to your room.

You spent most of the day curled up in bed and watching TV. You didn’t want to think about Yoongi or what happened, and television was the best way to forget about things.

Your mom left for work shortly after you went back to your room. You spent a lot of days like this, home alone when you should be at school. It was all because of Min Yoongi and his little posse of terrible teenage boys. You wished he didn’t have so much control over your life and how you felt on a day-to-day basis, but it felt like you couldn’t escape from it. You were trapped in the never ending cycle of falling victim to bullying.

It was reaching early afternoon when you heard the doorbell rang. You mother wasn’t home yet and it might have been an important package or something, so you forced yourself to go answer it.

You wrapped yourself in a comfy blanket and hurried downstairs. Not thinking twice about it, you pulled open the door and looked out to see who it was.

You suddenly felt like your heart had dropped to your feet and your headache came pulsing back.

“What do you want?” you spat, staring Yoongi in the eye. Your words had so much venom behind them that even you were surprised.

“I-I uh, wanted to see if you were okay after, uh, yesterday,” he stammered. You glared at him.

“You wanted to see if I was ok,” you repeated. “Are you kidding me?”

“I also thought that I should, um, explain myself.” He looked down. Of course you were curious about what actually happened the day before and what he was thinking at the time; but really you wanted nothing more than to shut the door in his face and go back to watching TV.

“I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you,” he started. “I’m not very good at talking to people, and I wasn’t sure how to get your attention.”

Get my attention? Why would he want to do that?

“The truth is I don’t know how to deal with my feelings, and in this case I really wasn’t sure what the hell I was supposed to do.” His voice was shaky, like he was completely unsure of what he was saying. You wished he would just get on with it.

“I’ve been in love with you for the two years I’ve known you,” he blurted out.

You felt like you’d been kicked in the chest.

What?” you said, completely taken aback. He pushed his hair back from his face, and you saw his cheeks were bright red.

“Yeah. And yesterday I felt like I couldn’t keep it inside anymore. I didn’t know how to tell you, so I just kissed you.”

You stood there, a million thoughts spinning through your head. You couldn’t organize them into tangible ideas. How were you supposed to respond to this new information?

Your silence was obviously making Yoongi uncomfortable. He shifted back and forth between feet and looked like he was also trying to figure out what to say next.

“I was- I was hoping that maybe we could start over,” he said softly. “I feel really bad about how I’ve treated you and I wish I could take it all back. I just want to go back to before I even spoke to you the first time and redo the whole thing.”

You stared at him for a long time.

“You can’t undo everything you did to me,” you spoke coldly.

“I just-”

“The two years that I’ve known you have been the worst two years of my life.” That shook him awake from his fantasy.

“Really?” he whispered weakly.

“You have made my life a living hell, and I will never forgive you Min Yoongi.”

The strangest thing happened next: Yoongi started to cry. He tried to hide it, but you saw his red eyes tearing up. You could see him getting frustrated with himself.

“I don’t know why I ever fell for you!” he shouted. “You’re weird and sad and a coldhearted bitch!” You grit your teeth.

“Yeah, because continuing to insult me is going to benefit either of us,” You spat at him. “You’re pathetic. Now get off my porch.”

You shut the door in his face as he tried to reply with more insults. You leaned against the other side and sank to the floor. He stood there on the porch a little while longer, banging his fist on the door and yelling. You don’t remember when you started crying, but you were a mess by the time Yoongi finally left. 

You didn’t know what your life was gonna be like after this, and whether things would get better or worse. All you knew was you could never be with a bully like Min Yoongi.

Part 3

anonymous asked:

any tips for someone making their first bioactive setup?? I've done a ton of research but I'm still afraid I forgot to look into something..

I’m not sure how much I can offer that you don’t already know, without knowing what you do know, but yes! These are a few things I could have benefited from hearing when I was first starting, so I hope they can help you a bit:

  • It’s more forgiving than you think it will be! There will probably be minor mistakes, and there will absolutely be things you wish you’d done a little differently. But you’ve got to give yourself a chance to learn through practice. It’s like art. You get better by doing it. 
  • Do not be afraid to redo something. If you aren’t happy with how your layout ends up, then take a break and try again. You don’t have to get it perfect in one shot. You can change something you don’t like at any time. Tomorrow. A month from now. A year… whenever you feel like it. 
  • Take your time. 
  • Some plants will die. It’s just gonna happen. Finding out which plants thrive in your enclosure, and in which specific spots of the enclosure, can be very trial and error. Even if you do your best to follow the lighting/water/temperature needs of every plant, some will still probably fail. And that’s okay. 
  • When buying supplies, shop around. There are several places you can get the things you might need or want online. If you take the extra time to compare different stores, you can save a few bucks here and there and that’s always nice. 
  • Try to plan out the space you have to work with before getting into much of the layout. It will help if you have an idea of what will fit and where before you have too much stuff in the way. 
  • Keep a spare enclosure handy. Your animal will need that while you’re building anyway, but keep it afterwards as well. That way, if something goes wrong for any reason, you have a backup, and your animal can stay in the old enclosure while you fix the issue. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but it should be able to serve as an appropriate living space for as long as you need it to. 
  • Keep some spare supplies if you can. I like to always have an extra bag of leaf litter and substrate on hand, ready to use. Especially the leaf litter; you will need to replenish the litter in your enclosure on occasion, and leaves are not always available year round. So it’s nice to have some extra.
  • Have fun with it. It can be stressful, messy, and a lot of work. But enjoy the process. You’re going to create something beautiful; be proud of that!

I’m quite sure I’ve forgotten something that I intended to include when I started writing this. But just try not to worry too much. Believe me I know it can be intimidating and overwhelming at first. But if you’ve done your research, you’ve got this! I believe in you. 

If you’re looking for anything more specific, I’m happy to provide what I can! Good luck, and have fun :)

To my ex girlfriend,

You know, ever since we broke up I tried hard to go and meet new people, so today I decided to play Terraria with this one dude and have fun to distract myself. As soon as we started to play it, I had a breakdown, words aren’t enough to express the devastation I’m feeling. I remembered we used to play that game during the nice times, when we were happy and I also remember when one night of may like this you finally gathered up the courage to say “I love you” in call for the first time. It was the best feeling ever: me and you in love just playing a game and having a nice time. Later on we continued to talk till like 3 am over call, exchanging affectionate and loving words in bed, thinking of when we’d meet. I honestly loved you more than anything in this world and I still do. I wish I could go back in time and redo everything. I wish I could just be happy with you once again. I honestly can’t live without you, memories are killing me and your voice is on loop in my head, reminding me how much you used to love me and how cute you are.
I miss you, I know those times can never be back and I wish I could just give up easily. But I miss you, everything reminds me of you and of the love we had. I can’t live like this I’d really rather just die with this nice image of you burned into my brain and into my heart. I’d love to be strong and move on but it’s too hard.

How To Break The Heartbreaker {part 3: fluff}

Daveed Diggs x Reader

Warnings: probably swearing, its angst in the beginning but that’s just because I have to follow the plot

Authors Note: SIKE YALL THOUGHT THAT ID LEAVE YOU CRYING. HEY THERE FRIENDS, I DECIDED TO GIVE YOU A WONDERFUL SPECTACULAR SURPRISE! I made 2 imagines, one of them fluff, the other angst. They are both the ending to HTBTH. I had some people message me, and although fluff technically won, I didn’t want to disappoint my angst friends so I present you the fluff section of HTBTH part 3!

Months had passed, and Daveed Diggs was still yet to make a comeback into your life.
Despite all his previous heartbreaks, he didn’t seem to have an interest in moving onto another girl, which ultimately confused the hell out of you.
Was it true, had he been tricked into doing something that was said to be for you?
You felt terrible with each passing day, seeing Diggs in the hallways, with a gaunt look on his face.
Rumors began circling as soon as you two had broken up, and none of them were true. You wanted badly to set the record straight, to free Diggs of all the hateful remarks that were being thrown at him.
But in clearing his name, you’d be throwing yourself under the bus. Much as you’d like to be the valiant hero, you knew that unlike all the movies you’d grown up on, your fate wouldn’t be that of a hero.
So, you stayed quiet, watching the days tick by as you saw the man you’d fallen in love with slip away.
4 months and 2 days after the tragedy that was your life happened, you found yourself being surrounded by your old group of friends.
They still hadn’t told you of their scheme to break your relationship with Diggs, and it had caused a lot of tension within your group.
Eventually, you all went separate ways, and you spent most of your days as if you were the lone survivor of some tragic accident, which in a way you were.
Diggs looked and acted as though he hadn’t moved on, very rarely would you ever see him, because he seemed to avoid everyone at all costs. You felt as if all of this was your doing, and spent each day living in a pit of guilt and regret.
And here you were, surrounded by the people who you had once shared a single plan with to break a someone’s heart.
“Y/N, we have something to tell you…”
You slammed the door of your house, collapsing on the ground in a pitiful sob. It was all true, Diggs had told the truth. And you, like a horrendous fool, had called him a liar, and yelled lies to him, breaking his heart.
You realized right then and there that when you had set out to break the heartbreaker’s heart, you had become a heartbreaker yourself.
You had drafted this text many times, and had always deleted it soon after.
How could you apologize to Diggs, after all you’d done to him?
How could you try to make it up to the person that you had fallen in love with, and then ruined it all by your own stupid doing?
You felt sick to your stomach as you deleted yet another draft of some sort of stupid apology, one that you couldn’t put into words.
You felt so much remorse over what you’d done, and you didn’t know how you could just try and *poof* fix it.
Your so-called professional plan-making abilities had seemingly disappeared right when Diggs had left your life.
“Hi. You probably don’t even have my contact in your phone anymore, and I know I don’t deserve to be there. It’s Y/N, you know, that girl who was so wrong. About everything. I should have known to trust you, but my stupidity took over and I didn’t see through their lies. How could I have just let you go and walk out of my life when you were the greatest thing to walk into it? I know what I did, and I haven’t regretted something more in my life. It was horrible; what I did to you. Trying to break your heart. I wish that I could just go back and redo those months, but at the same time, I don’t regret it. All the time I spent with you were some of the best memories that I hold, and I think about them a lot these days. I see you everyday in the halls, and I just think about how much I fucked up. I miss you. And I know you may not miss me, but I just want to let you that I’m sorry. For everything. I wish I could change it all, I wish that I could take back everything I said. But I can’t, but I can remind you that I love you. A lot. I lied about never loving you. God, it was the worst lie I’ve ever told. And I will always love you, even if you don’t return my feelings.
Yours always, Y/N”
You held your breath as you clicked send, then immediately regretted it as you saw the little delivered sign.
Diggs would probably read it soon, and you couldn’t bear the anticipation, so you shut off your phone and tucked it under your pillow as you closed your eyes and prayed that he would respond.
You opened your eyes to bright sunlight, and a soreness in your arm. You winced as you stretched it out, only then realizing that you’d slept through the rest of the day, and now it was Saturday.
You closed your eyes before pulling out your phone. You held your breath as you scrolled through your notifications, hoping, praying…
And finding nothing.
You slumped down on your pillow, tears threatening to spill over as you closed your eyes and breathed.
Start over.
Move on.
You can do this.
After five minutes of bullshitting your way through “moving on,” you dived back under your pillow after hearing a buzz, only to mope that it was another email going to your junk drive.
You silently pulled yourself out of bed, and attempted to walk around before falling back on your pillows and trying to not break down again.
You wouldn’t have noticed the doorbell had you not been lying facedown on the ground, your room being right above the front door.
You groaned and got up, dragging yourself down the stairs. Your parents weren’t home all day, and it was just you to run the house.
You didn’t even check to see who was at the door, because you didn’t care at this point if a murderer showed up at your door to kill you.
Hell, you’d invite them in for a glass of tea and then beg them to kill you.
You threw open the door, expecting the mailman, but gasping when there was a smiling Diggs standing there on your welcome mat.
You let out a little cry and jumped into his arms, breathing in his scent that you had so badly missed.
You hugged him tightly, afraid to let go, afraid that you’d lose him again.
He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head as you cried into his shoulder.
Once you stepped back, he wiped away your tears and smiled at you.
“Y/N. I’m sorry that I would ever leave you. It’s insane how much I loved and still love you, and how you were always on my mind. Yes, I used to break hearts like it was nothing, but I was just searching. Searching for someone like you, and when I found you, I was driven crazy by how you were my every thought, and you had me falling in love with every word you said. I stupidly fell for something that I should’ve seen right through, and you had every right to be mad. But I was broken by how you said you didn’t love me, because I loved you too much for it to be possible for you not to feel anything back. I tried moving on, but you were still all I thought about. And it drove me crazy, because you’re everything and I saw you in everything. I couldn’t even drive my car to school because I just would imagine you next to me, and then you weren’t there anymore. But I love you. So much. I hope that if you feel any love back to me, that it’s all real.”
You nodded vigorously, tears streaming down your face.
“Yes. I love you too. So much.”
He pulled you in for a kiss, and you melted at the touch of him that you had so badly missed.
“I love you Daveed.”
He smiled and kissed your lips.
He ran back to his car, and returned with something behind his back.
“I have something for you.”
You giggled.
“For me, kind sir?”
“Yeah, for you.”
He revealed a bouquet of red roses, the smell reminding you of those first days.
“For old times sake.”


ryuu zaou + tvtropes

dandalfthewhite  asked:

Given your recent redefinition of the functions, could you redo a breakdown of inferior functions?

Si: I wish I didn’t have this feeling the world should be a certain way. I even had an argument about it the other day.

Ni: I wish I didn’t have this feeling that this situation will turn out like this (badly), and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

Ti: I wish being detached and impartial was not so hard for me. I feel like a jerk whenever it happens.

Fi: I didn’t know I had that belief or emotion until you crossed it. >=(

Se: I want to make things happen but I’m not sure how to do it in sensory reality. I get physically hurt half the time when I try.

Ne: I wish the future did not loom with such terrible uncertainties. I do not see the good possibilities, only the negative ones.

Te: I wish I were better at remaining detached and explaining myself. I know I should accomplish tangible things but it’s hard.

Fe: I wish I did not care about keeping people happy, when I suck at it.

INFJ Stereotypes

Warm and affirming by nature: Well, if and only if you warm up to me too. I don’t do good with strangers or even acquaintances. It’s an automatic response to care for people. It’s a drive to help everyone in need and to assure them to make them feel good inside. And that makes me feel good inside.

All about the “perfect” relationship: Depending on your definition of perfect, my perfect is just simply loving someone for who they are no matter the circumstances and your S.O. to love you the same in return. Easier said than done I suppose. But a good blog post once said, that in the end of the day everyone will hurt you, you just got to know who is worth the pain. But yes I have high standards when it comes to this especially when I have actual ideal relationship goals (that are actually pretty realistic if you ask me).

Sensitive to others feelings: In a way, I can feel other people’s feelings. I can tell how they are feeling at a given situation, better so if you are close to me. When the mood of the whole atmosphere changes, you can bet on it that I feel it at maximum level and I’ll do my very best to keep it at its equilibrium form. I always watch the words I use and how I say them to make everyone feel comfortable.  

Good communication skills: To me, it takes a lot of effort to express myself verbally in a very orderly and easy to understand manner since that requires careful thinking. My colleague once told me that I have really good writing skills and I can explain my ideas better on my reports. Sometimes I wish I could speak better though.

Take their commitments very seriously: When I commit to something or someone, I will give my all, no exceptions. I do things with heart, and if I have enough heart to do something, I can make it happen. The only drawback that if I lose that drive, I will falter so it’s important for me to keep it consistent and alive.

Have high expectations for themselves and others: I have high expectations for myself, and sometimes, it’s too unrealistic. So when I under perform, it stresses me out greatly that I always want a redo but that’s not how life works. I try to keep my expectations for myself realistic to keep myself sane. But for others, I don’t really expect anything from anyone as I think that their life expectations is clearly their own. 

Able to move on after a relationship: This really depends on how important that relationship was for me. Bad relationships are easily forgettable. I just door slam them and keep them there. But some relationships that I think are savable are the ones that are hard to let go. Eventually I’ll get over it because time heals all.

Tend to hold back; keep secrets: Yes, your secret is safe with me. Because usually, I’ll forget them if they are not of concern. But when it comes to myself, I try not to tell anything about myself or at least keep it to the minimum. Usually not a lot of people know me for who I am, actually, there is only two people alive that know me as I am. But I will tell the truth when people ask me personally if they really want to know. Sometimes keeping people in the dark unnecessarily will have its consequences.

Not good with money or daily necessities: Yes, this is sadly true. I suck big time when it comes to keeping my money in check. I suck at keeping stuff too so I lose a lot of money by replacing those stuff back, hah.

Extreme dislike of conflict/criticism: Extreme is such a strong word. I think conflict and criticism is good in making the best decision, provided that all parties are in the same page of things and is more concerned of the greater good. I don’t mind getting criticized even if it would kill me a little inside but that’s the only way we can truly improve. 

Possesses deep complexity: To me, life itself is a great paradox. I tend to overthink the most minor of details to the greatest depth of human understanding of things. I find it enjoyable and liberating. But does that make me deep? Hmm. Debatable.

Creative: If I collected every plot I can think of since I was a kid, I would have a library filled with amazing adventures for all of us to enjoy. I love theorizing and therefore, I love stories. I used to write poetry too. But in all practicality of life, I am good in thinking of new ideas for a lot of stuff if needed be especially in thinking of game ideas (yes, I love being a gamemaster, it saves my soul).

Future-oriented: “Always have the end in mind”. This is a mantra I strive on because what is the freaking point if you don’t have the end in mind. I have goals, like those #goals you see on instagram (but the realistic and meaningful kinds, okay.) I live for the future but at the same time, it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the present because if you think about it, your present is the foundation of your future. Remember this well my friends.

Intuitively understand people and situations: To follow your intuition is to follow your GUT. And damn, it is usually right. I think the mind and heart has this algorithm that synchronizes everything around you in a split second that will give you an AHA! moment. You just seem to know what’s up even when you don’t understand it yet, that my friend, is your psychic powers. Use it wisely. Ps. It works. (Okay, what I mean is, you understand people. That is your psychic powers. SEE THE TRENDS MY CHILD, SEE IT IN YOUR CRYSTAL BALL.)

Well. When I said I wanted my writer’s block gone I didn’t intend on THIS being what I wrote. But I just started writing and writing and this is what happened and I actually should apologize in advance. I have no money so please don’t send me your therapy bills. I obviously took some liberties in this, so whatever. All mistakes are mine (this whole drabble is probably one big mistake). Also, there could be trigger warning in this? Not sure, so proceed with caution.

There are a lot of moments Piper Chapman is not proud of. Moments she wishes she could take back, redo, or erase all together. She’s good at blocking things out, pretending like they don’t exist. Moments like this come more often than not, and this is one of those moments.

The car idles and her hands tremble as she grips the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white. This was not how it was supposed to be. This was not supposed to happen. She shouldn’t be in the car right now. She shouldn’t be here. She hates herself.

Across the street is a cemetery, she’s passed it before, a lot of times really, and never really given it much thought. She checked the paper day after day, scanning the obituaries. Praying that she wouldn’t see one. Praying that this was all some sort of nightmare. But then she saw it, Vause. The obituary was short, simple and Piper knew Alex had written it. Probably forced to by her aunt.

Diane Vause departed this life on May 3, 2005. She will be remembered by loved ones as a mother, a friend, a hero. Diane is survived by her daughter and best friend, Alex Vause, a sister, Clara Stephens (Vause) and several nieces and nephews. Diane’s life will be celebrated at–

That’s where Piper stopped. That’s where Piper screamed. That’s where Piper picked up a glass vase and threw it across the room with tears streaming down her face. This is where she became all too aware of that cemetery she had never given any thought to. That’s when she made the stupid, reckless decision to show up, to park across the street. It’s selfish really, she should be up there for Alex, for Diane. She shuts the motor off and hits the steering wheel violently, over and over and over until her hand hurts too much.

She can’t see much. She can see Alex, dressed all in black, and about six other people. None of which Piper knows. None of them probably even that close to Diane. Not like Piper was.

The casket begins to lower and Piper releases a sob. She watches Alex, her face screwed up in a way she’s never seen it before. Piper can count on one hand the times she’s seen Alex cry. She’s never seen her like this. She looks so broken, so upset, so alone. Piper contemplates getting out. Walking over there. Taking Alex in her arms. Telling her she’s sorry and that she’s here and she’ll always be here and that she loves her. But she doesn’t. She watches as Alex turns away, away from the people she has left connecting her to her mother, and walks away. As she gets closer Piper takes in Alex’s appearance, black heels, black dress but Piper’s throat constricts when she notices the leather jacket that Alex pulls tight around her body. She’d seen that jacket before, when Diane wasn’t in her Diner gear, she usually had that jacket on. That was Diane. All Alex has left of her. Alex’s face is a mess, Piper almost doesn’t recognize her, if it wasn’t for the blue streaks in her hair and the glasses, she probably wouldn’t. She looks beat down, tired. Like she hadn’t eaten or slept since she’d been back. She probably hadn’t. Piper punches her thigh and sobs, this is all her fault and as the pain radiates down her leg she wonders when she’ll ever forgive herself. Tears flow freely as she realizes probably never.

Alex walks slowly, lifeless, and Piper watches, helpless, until she sees something that makes her ignite the engine and throw the car into drive. Alex stops, looks up at the sky and Piper knows she’s cursing whoever did this, whoever took her mom. Took Piper. But then she pulls this pink scarf out of the inside pocket of Diane’s jacket and Piper knows she has to get out. If she didn’t get out she’s never leave. Alex buries her face in the scarf and Piper remembers when Alex plucked the scarf off a random street cart in Tahiti and wrapped it around her and grabbed Piper’s arm and ran as Piper protested about paying for the scarf and Alex just gave her classic response of “Fuck them!” And her smile was so contagious and the thrill of breaking a rule was so intoxicating that Piper just went with it. Alex told her she looked hot wearing the scarf, that it brought out her eyes and ever since Piper never left anywhere without it. Until that last day, apparently. Alex had kept it. Held on to it, held on to Piper and if Piper hadn’t have drove away she would have never let her go, and she had to. She had to get as far away from the cemetery, away from the love of her life, away from a piece of herself.

Months went by, seasons changed but Piper remained just a shell of herself. She went through the motions day by day not really living. Her phone wallpaper was still of her and Alex in Cambodia, Diane’s to favorite picture, or so she had said. Piper hadn’t been back to the cemetery since that day and why she was there now she didn’t know. She just needed someone to talk to. Diane was always good at that. Piper walked through the cemetery, leaves rustling by as Piper tried to pinpoint where she was. She passed head stone after head stone and finally she stopped as she read Vause and collapsed to her knees. Alex had really out done herself, Diane’s was by far the most elaborate of the headstones and Piper traced the letters of Diane’s name with her fingers, her throat closing in on her, her lip quivered, “Hi. It’s me.”

Piper cried, really cried, for the first time since that day. Repeating the words “I’m so sorry,” over and over and over again into the silence.

“You must hate me,” Piper sniffed, “I hate me.” And Piper spilled her guts to Diane, something she had done many times before, told her how she screwed up, how much she missed Alex, how much she loved her. Piper wiped her hand across her nose, “I always told you I’d watch out for her, Id keep her safe and I let you down.” Piper got up and walked away but found herself back in the same spot often, bringing Diane flowers, telling her stories of her and Alex, how much she missed her. She always cried, her hand pressed against the headstone as she sobbed until she dry heaved.

It was summer when Piper last visited Diane. She brought her her her usual flowers and sat Indian style on the grass, sighing because the air felt so heavy, the weight of what she had to say crushing her. But Diane always listened, she never judged. “I met someone,” Piper held her breath like she expected some sort of response. She exhaled. “I know. His name’s Larry. He’s a really great guy he’s just….” Piper looked up to the sky for answers, none came. “He’s not Alex. No one is. But I have to do this. I have to let her go.” Piper choked on the lump in the throat. “I have to let you go.” Her finger slid across the V on the headstone and she got up, full of apologies and as she walked away Piper added this moment as one to file away in the farthest corner of her mind, one to forget, to erase, to pretend never happened.

I wish I could just like be naked and nobody cares . “8like I really don’t know where my clothes are and I gotta get some ibuprofen and melatonin in my system oh FUCK I forgot I gotta
Take a Spanish test by tonight or I have to redo the semester hahahaha fuck

Hello! This is really important!

Many people came to me after I opened commissions about a year ago. I really wish I could do commissions right now, but I just can’t! My Dad is sick, I’m trying to finish up my senior year of high school, I’m planning for college, I have a real job, etc. etc. 

I think that after a lot of organizing and getting my life together, I’ll be able to re-open commissions, but for now I just can’t add anything else to my plate. I’m really sorry! I left the original post below the read more in case somebody needed to see it (or in case I don’t want to redo the formatting if/when I reopen……………) so there’s that. Also, if/when I reopen, I’m not going to be taking commissions with OCs. Writing somebody’s OC when you feel like you don’t have enough information is really hard and scary. Just keep that in mind!

I hope you all can understand! Thank you!

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Panel Surprise

Characters: Jensen x Reader, Jared, Richard, Mark
Words: 1097
Requested by Anonymous

You loved going to the cons and getting to see all of the fans. Your favorite part, besides the meet and greets, were the panels. You loved sitting up on the stage with the rest of the cast of Supernatural and getting to answer questions from fans and talk and goof off with everyone. It was so much fun.

           You were back stage with the guys, waiting to be announced. Richard was sitting on the back of the couch with his phone pointed at you, “What are you doing, Speight?” you asked him, putting your hands on your hips.

           “Taking pictures,” he said matter-of-factly, “You always look so cute.”

           “Oh, thank you,” you posed some more for him.

           “You are beautiful,” Jensen said, walking up to where you were standing, putting his arms around you.

           “Gross. I don’t want those kinds of pictures on my phone,” Richard teased, snapping a few of the two of you anyway.

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