BunnyRibbit - Flashbacks
Lucio rolled over and reached for his lover. Hana usually liked to steal all the pillows for herself, so it wasn’t uncommon for him to reach for her and some of the stolen pillows in the middle of the night. The pillows were just a bonus though. What he really wanted was to feel the warmth of Hana pressed into his chest. He loved that feeling, and it helped him get to sleep, even though they often separated within the first couple hours due to the heat. Scrounging around for the tiny young woman, Lucio felt a coolness where she was supposed to be laying.
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Lucio removed his earplugs. Despite loving his music, and everything else, he couldn’t sleep if there was a whole lot of noise—and with Overwatch, there was a lot of noise. It almost made him wonder if the Junkers ever slept or understood something without exploding it first. However, tonight was rather quiet. It was a little odd, but perhaps, for once, everyone was either asleep or they had finally understood the idea of quiet time. Neither of those was very likely, but he could hope.
Placing his feet on the floor, Lucio gave himself a second to stretch as he stood up. He may be only twenty-six, but man did he feel old first thing after he woke up. There were a few small audible cracks as he straightened his spine along with a groan as the still groggy Lucio stood up. Looking up, Lucio noticed a dark figure standing next to the doorway. This realization woke Lucio up instantly, and he let out a small scream as he fell backwards onto the bed. And with that, the figure was gone. Lucio cursed himself as he got up. He hated when that happened, and had asked Hana many times if they could move the mirror so that he wouldn’t scare himself half to death if he had to get up in the middle of the night to pee.
As Lucio searched around the watch point for Hana though, she was in none of her usual spots. Not under the Cherry Blossom tree that both she and Genji liked to sit under to chat and watch the sun rise or set, nor was she in the game room, or cleaning her mecka either. Finally, Lucio came across the mess hall. Some of the lights were on, which wasn’t unusual as Angela liked to stay up late and would regularly get up to get coffee to help keep her focused on her research. But tonight there were voices emanating from the far end of the room. They were low voices, but could still be heard from the doorway since the silence rang through the halls.
Lucio could smell the sweet smell of the creamer that Hana liked to put into her coffee. He could never pronounce the Korean name for it or remember what it was called for that matter, but he knew that smell. It was a distinct smell that always reminded him of his little Honey Bunny. That’s when the shrieking voice of Junkrat chimed in and broke Lucio out of his thoughts.
“We all go through this. Don’t worry about it too much! Maybe they deserved to get blown to all hell, ya never know!” Junkrat let out his chirpy laugh.
Lucio ducked back out of sight from the group sitting in the single light shining over the table near the coffee pot. He could tell that the group was having a moment and didn’t want to interrupt—especially, because he knew that Hana had been really struggling with all that they had been doing lately and had been having nightmares about it all. There had been more than one occasion that he had to comfort Hana out of a screaming or crying fit in her sleep. It had all really started to take a toll on her mental and emotional health, and Lucio wished that there was more that he could do to help her. Yet maybe, talking could help her, and the much needed support of her fellow teammates. He had about walked away when he heard Hana speak up.
“I just don’t know anymore,” she ran her fingers along her coffee mug, “I used to just think of all of this as a game, but now, I just don’t know. I can’t seem to sleep anymore, the nightmares keep coming. Every time I close my eyes I just keep seeing all the faces. All the faces of the people that we couldn’t save or the destruction that has been caused—it all haunts me.”
The pain in her voice broke Lucio’s heart. He couldn’t bear to see her like this anymore. He just wished he could take away all her pain. She was still so young, yet forced to grow beyond her years in what she has seen and done. Of course doing what they do there was going to be a lot of struggle, and all of them knew that. Sighing to himself, Lucio was about to walk away and let Hana have her moment, but something in him made him stay longer.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself Ms. Song,” Angela’s soft tone seemed barely above a whisper, yet outweighed that of Junkrat. “We’ve all done things we wished we could have done differently, and there are certain things that will haunt us for the rest of our lives.”
The mechanical monotone voice of Zenyatta spoke up too, “Yes Hana, even I have some regret of what has happened under my watch. Sometimes I wonder, myself, whether or not this is the right path. However, there are things that do make all of this worth it. You just have to wait for them to show up.”
Hana sighed. “Thank you, guys. I think I feel a little better. I just wish-”, she stopped. “I wish I could forget that littles boy’s face.” She was sobbing now. “I could have saved him if I hadn’t froze. He would still be alive and his family could hold their child again. Every night he calls out to me for help, and every night I freeze again. I just want it to stop.”
Angela had her arms around the emotional girl all while rocking her and petting her hair. Before he knew it, Lucio had moved his way across the mess hall and next to Hana. She was crying too hard to notice that he had approached. Angela had released Hana so that Lucio could take her spot. She knew that Hana was going to need to be alone with him for a while, so she motioned for Junkrat and Zenyatta to follow her out.
Holding his beloved in his arm in such an emotional state made Lucio emotional too. But he knew that he had to be strong for Hana in that moment. He hated seeing her like this, but she needed to cry, to let it all out. The only thing he could do for her in this moment was be with her, be there for her. Even if that was all he could do, he was going to do it. Blinking away his tears, he stroked Hana’s soft messy bedhead hair. “It’s going to be okay Hana, it’s going to be okay,” he whispered.