i wish i could disappear

Understanding a Shame Based Identity

Shame is the deeply held belief that, at core, there is something wrong with me. So, no matter what I do, or how hard I try, I’ll never measure up and be good enough. Thus, I expect other people to reject me in the end, and deep down inside I reject myself.

If I have a shame based identity, I am likely to battle with the following feelings:

- Feeling like a fraud

- Feeling like I have to cover up all the time

- Fear of being exposed for who and what I truly am

- Feeling powerless

- Feeling as if I don’t have, or deserve, a voice

- Wishing I could just disappear

- Feeling vulnerable

- Feeling very needy – and perhaps too needy, compared to other people

- Feeling like I always disappoint myself and others.

The “shame bound” person is constantly struggling against these persistent and negative feelings. They are triggered easily, and by innocuous triggers, such as being overlooked or contradicted by a friend. This can then result in a powerful “shame attack” that is so intense that we’re completely paralysed, and overwhelmed, by a sense of worthlessness. These feelings can persist for days, for weeks or even months.

His || Jungkook || 0.8

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8

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“I did not want to think about people. I wanted the trees, the scents and colors, the shifting shadows of the wood, which spoke language I understood. I wished I could simply disappear in it, live like a bird or a fox through the winter, and leave the things I had glimpsed to resolve themselves without me.”
― Patricia A. McKillip

Hiking along the Historic Columbia River Highway, Oregon

THE SUPER MASTERLIST

BUCKY BARNES

Originally posted by simplytanvi

Winter’s Witch {WORK IN PROGRESS} || Bucky Barnes had just escaped his captors, Hydra. He didn’t know where to go, or what to do. Somehow, he manages to stumble into a girl’s apartment who he’s met before. The twist is- she’s not your average girl.
 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9  Part 10 Part 11

Of Course, Doll || The Avengers throw a little kick back in their facility- nothing too crazy, after a successful mission in taking down some Hydra agents. You’re still a new member to the avengers team, and have a similar skill set to Natasha, except your past is a little more gruesome to hers. The Avengers trust you, however some are still wary around you.

We’ve Got All Night || The Avengers throw a little kick back in their facility- nothing too crazy, after a successful mission in taking down some Hydra agents. You’re still a new member to the avengers team, and have a similar skill set to Natasha, except your past is a little more gruesome to hers. The Avengers trust you, however some are still wary around you.

I Thought I Lost You || Bucky and (Y/N) had been in a relationship for a long time now. They were both stupid and reckless, which is why Fury had made a bad decision sending the two lovers on a mission together.

Manners Maketh Man || Walking home at 1am wasn’t a smart move on your part, you should have known it would have eventually gotten you into trouble. Thank the heavens you had a protector who had been watching from a distance.

Don’t You Mind? || He never meant for it to happen, it kept him up at night. Bucky Barnes wanted to be with (Y/N) so badly, but the Winter Soldier had other ideas. || Best read with this song

Round Two || Getting captured and injected with the same super serum as Bucky Barnes was never something you had planned for. When Bucky finally gets you back, it’s high time you blow off some steam.

Are You Okay? || Yeah, so a bullet or a sharp blade could probably kill you. But what about self doubt? No one ever teaches you how to not let insecurities kill you on the inside.

Post Break-Up Sex || Break ups can lead to many things. For some, it calls for the best rom com and a bowl of ice cream to drown yourself in your own feelings. For others, it can mean shutting yourself down for a while, taking time for some well needed self care. For (Y/N), it meant going off the rails just a little. || Best read with this song

Yellow || Bucky wasn’t the same kid from Brooklyn like back in the 40′s, but he also wasn’t the soviet master assassin; The Winter Soldier, no. He was somewhere in between. You are the bright yellow in his life that always brings him back down to earth. (Artist!Reader AU)

Begin Again || Bucky Barnes did it- he got clean, and is now trying to make up for the horrors he’s caused by working for Shield alongside the Avengers. When he gets sent on a solo mission to bring in (Y/N); an ex avenger who’s gone rogue, someone particularly special from his past, things get heated.

Somewhere I Belong || Sometimes all the pain and the bullshit going on in your life is just one big shitty hurdle you have to pass to get to the bigger picture, to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. Bucky was (Y/N)’s light.


PIETRO MAXIMOFF

Originally posted by imagine-that-marvel

Life Of The Party || Being the youngest avenger did have it’s perks. Saving the world was your job man! What could get better then that? Maybe a steamy drunken make out session on top of the Avengers tower with none other than Pietro Maximoff?


KURT WAGNER

Originally posted by onorasdrivein

The Bamfs || When your boyfriend gets dragged away in the middle of the night on a dangerous mission against his own father, causing him to miss your three year anniversary, he makes sure he comes back with a present. Or in this case, lots and lots of little, annoying, blue, presents. You always did say you wanted a pet, right?

Sparring || You and Kurt have a cheeky sort of friendship. Watch as your ‘friendship’ gets a little well… complicated, all because of one little sparring session.

Outcast At Last || Dating a mutant proves to be difficult with anti-mutant parents. Fortunately, you learn an important lesson that they do not define who you are, I suppose being an outcast isn’t such a bad thing in the end. || Best read with this song


SIRIUS BLACK

Originally posted by your-harry-potter-imagines

Innocence {COMPLETED} || Sirius Black gets charged with the murder of his best friends. He’s denied a fair trial, and gets thrown into Azkaban. You know for certain he’s innocent, so you take matters into your own hands.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Double Trouble {WORK IN PROGRESS} || They met each other while they were in school by a happy coincidence. Little do they know, death, pain and destruction is on the way for the two Gryffindor lovers.
Part 1

One Too Many || On a night out with the Marauders, James bets Sirius can’t down more than seven shots of Beetle Berry Whiskey. Sirius, never backing down from a challenge, accepts, and the effects are near catastrophic for the reader.

Strip || You agree to help Sirius study for his OWL’s, however what you failed to realise that tutoring the marauder was like babysitting. After various failed attempts, you finally find a way to keep Sirius somewhat focused and, interested.

Somebody To Love || “I did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face.”

Liquorlip Loaded Gun || “I wish I could disappear, So you would never see me in this mess I get in. However hard I try, keep on stumbling still. Once in a while I’ll show you who I am. When I can I’ll, Open up the oceans, jump on in.”

Do I Wanna Know? || Reader works as a barista in a busy cafe, right in the heart of London, completely oblivious that there are such things as Wizards, magic, and most of all; a deadly war waging on within the magical community. Reader is blissfully ignorant to the wizarding world, just as any muggle should- that is until Sirius Black shows up in her life.


DRABBLES/OTHER

Sometimes I feel inhuman, cold hearted, detached from this world I live in. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and discover in horror of who I’ve become. Sometimes I wish these feeling could just disappear. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find myself again. Just sometimes.
—  r.c.r.
I did not want to think about people. I wanted the trees, the scents and colours, the shifting shadows of the wood, which spoke a language I understood. I wished I could simply disappear in it, live like a bird or a fox through the winter, and leave the things I had glimpsed to resolve themselves without me.
—  Patricia A. McKillip
Not A One Night Thing

Reader Request: could you maybe do a dean x reader where the reader and him get into a big fight, and the reader ends up swinging her fists at him and she hits him in the ribs hard and he gets super angry and storms off, but they make up later with lots of fluff? uwu I love your writing!! (Requested by Anonymous)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,689

Warnings: Language, Fluff

Author’s Note: Hey! This whole one shot gave me an inkling to begin a series! So thank you Anon for requesting this. It might be a bit short but I hope you guys like it *nervous laugh* Let me know what you think!!

*****

“Don’t you walk away from me, Y/N.”

“Go screw yourself, Dean,” I grit as I storm across the Bunker’s garage towards the door.

“Y/N,” Sam tries to calm me down as he walks behind me, but I’m not having any of it.

I push open the door leading into the hallway and stalk my way down the hallway, desperate to put as much space between Dean and I as possible.

“Y/N!”

“Go to hell, Dean!”

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