i win at the internet

2

Very Serious Cinematic Parallels™  [jurassic world | the throwaways]

10

I love butt stuff. I hate spiders. I stole a pen from the bank. I cried during ‘About a Boy’…the soundtrack! I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him. I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the internet at the drop of a hat. I know nothing about wine. I’m more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie. I just wanna know that they’re comfortable. I didn’t get Inception. I didn’t get Inception! There’s so many layers.

god 2010 was 7 years ago and looking at people’s posts and shit from back then where everyone said shit like “you win the internet, sir” i can believe it

Warning: Jontron Discourse

When Jon had recently come out of the shadows questioning PC culture and the *far* left, even myself as a Liberal would’ve rallied with him. I didn’t agree with 100% of what he was saying, but that’s to be expected of nearly anyone you meet. Only surrounding yourself in a circlejerk of people you agree with is detrimental to democracy and debate, so I didn’t care too much at the beginning.

Post Sargon stream, I could at least see where he was coming from a few areas. He had reasonable questions, although I think a lot of his solutions or answers were heavily flawed. He at least raised concerns and brought discussion to his fanbase, although the two sides rarely clashed, continuing a circlejerk, left or right. 

Post Destiny stream, I’ve lost pretty much all respect for Jon. His resolves have gotten infinitely worse and remarkably dangerous. Although he was very scatterbrained, his arguments sounded like they were straight off /pol/, with next to no data to back up what he said. Destiny isn’t a fantastic debater by any stretch, and I didn’t agree with everything he said, but its fair to say he wrecked Jon. 

Theres been a lot of discourse on a surface level about Nazi’s and White Supremacists, which quickly devolved into a witch hunt to call anyone a Nazi or Fascist (take the Pewdiepie debacle for instance). I rallied against this dogma, as I think it’s important we are vigilant and careful with the words we use to describe people, in order to keep their meaning. So I mean every word when I say:

Jontron is not a Nazi.

Jontron is not a White Supremacist

However,

Based on the arguments Jon was giving, there is reason to suggest he may be a White Nationalist. There is a key difference here that many ignore.

A White Supremacist is someone that believes white people are inherently genetically superior to other races. A very unethical position (as if you needed a clue).

A White Nationalist believes in a “White Ethno-State”, meaning they believe a nation should remain European. (Also unethical and pointless) This is what Jon was heavily eluding to with his arguments when he refers to “tribalism” or “Japan being an ideal nation.” 

These two types of people are still incredibly unethical, but i stress that we are militant in regards to using the correct words to refer to unethical or ethical people. In my view, based purely on what Jon said in the Destiny debate, there are fair grounds to suggest Jontron is a White Nationalist. 

Not a White Supremacist, but a White Nationalist. Both are incredibly unethical and should not be respected, but I just wanted to make this post as objective as possible, in hopes that anyone who sees this can reflect on the words we choose to describe people.

Before the Destiny Debate, Jontron was just a unconventional sideshow political commentator. After the debate, we learned that Jon is incredibly xenophobic, ignorant an fallacious. This is no longer speculation, there are quotes to prove it. 

This is remarkably disappointing, as he was a person I could’ve at least mildy respected towards all this, for going against the status quo. But given his large audience, his recent resolves to socio-economic issues are very alarming, and theres really no telling if he’ll double down (as he has condemned others for in the past) or if he’ll hang up the short lived mask of a know-it-all political commentator. I can only imagine the sigh of relief Arin is having right now. 

I hope this was at all interesting (probably not), and that I’ve succeeded in being objective and reasonable with my position. 

If you have any thoughts or criticisms of this I’d love to hear them and discuss in a healthy manner.

TLDR; It is reasonable beyond doubt that Jontron is a White Nationalist. 

  • Reggie [after being injected with 'truth serum']: I love butt stuff. I hate spiders. I stole a pen from the bank. I cried during ‘About a Boy’…the soundtrack! I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him. I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the internet at the drop of a hat. I know nothing about wine. I’m more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie. I just wanna know that they’re comfortable. [starts sobbing] I didn’t get Inception. I didn’t get Inception! There’s so many layers.
EXO Reaction when their GF changes them for a videogame/online game

Xoxo, Admin A~

/I don’t own any of the gifs used, unless stated otherwise/


Chanyeol:

*Writing a new song while you play* “I should have… taught her the world of music…. not the world of gaming yeah~”

Kris:

“Do you want to have some…. sexy time, oh you are busy? I see… no worries… I’ll just go to the bathroom….” 

Sehun:

*Needs attention* “Jagi please… give me a kiss? Yes? No? fine I’ll go ask Luhan he might say yes” 

Tao:

“ImmagoplayLolIt’sSoFun ugh” *Someone’s angry* “Fine ImmagoBuySomeGucciForMyselfBai” *Very angry* “And cake! Just for me! I’ll make out with the cake!”

Kai:

“Hello? Is this Anonymous gamers hotline? Can you help me? how do I get my girlfriend back? She won’t leave the computer… I’m scared that hot animated dude might have stolen my girlfriend”

Xiumin:

*Just watching you and thinking* “One day she’ll come home and the TV is gone… not gonna be able to watch my drama anymore but… ugh I want the TV gone… I’m jealous… yes tomorrow I’m giving it away.” *Sips cup of coffee*

Baekhyun:

*Such a dramatic baby* “Did she just… killed me? I thought we were a couple…. together forever… I need a break… this is betrayal..” *The student became better than the teacher xD*

Luhan:

*This is him behind the computer doing everything he can to get your attention back* “Maybe I should start taking my clothes off now”

Chen:

Sehun: “Why are we running away hyung?”
Chen: “Because I just broke my jagi’s laptop and told her it was you… at least she’s giving me attention now”

Kyungsoo:

“I wonder what she will do when she realizes her biggest enemy is me… she’ll realize all those fights have actually been online dates xD” *Someone’s been very busy leveling up his character* 

Lay:

“That game thinks it’s better than me? We’ll see… it can’t win against my famous shirtless floor humping”

Suho:

“I should buy all the internet in Korea and not give her the password…. yeah this sounds like the solution” *Someone’s desperate*

[Masterlist] [Guideline]

2

Just cause I was hella feeling my fro this day 🤷🏾‍♀️ // 👻: heyitsjazzi

Strategy isn't Cheating

Words: 1.2k

Summary: You’re bored and get Castiel to play a video game with you.

Warnings: Trash level cheesy fluff. Consult your dentist after reading.

A/N: Based on a request from a shy anon about the reader teaching Cas how to play video games. I hope it’s to your liking, Nonnie. As always feedback is like crack to me, so don’t hold back; and feel free to shoot me an ask or DM if you’d like to be on my master tag list.

—————

It was a rare, quiet day in the world; no monsters or apocalypses to deal with. It was the perfect day to relax and pretend to be normal. Well, as normal of a day as a hunter with a crush on an angel could be.

“Caaaaaas!” You prayed out loud in a sing-song voice. “The world isn’t ending at the moment, but I’m having a crisis so I need you to come help me.”

A minute later you heard steady footsteps approaching your room. “Y/N, I am literally down the hall. I could hear your prayer and your physical voice. What’s the problem.”

“Oooh!” you giggled. “Was I in stereo or surround sound? Or was there an echo?”

He cocked his head and squinted at you trying to comprehend your questions. Before he could verbalized his confusion you playfully pushed on his shoulder. “I’m just messing with you, Cas.”

“Ah, yes; I see.” He smiled softly at the large grin plastered across your face. “What did you need my assistance for?”

“I’m bored and wanted some company.“You plopped down on the edge of your bed with a huff. "Lets play a game!”

—————

Castiel had played a few games in his long life, but none of them were like the one you proposed. “This is much more violent than I would expect a game to be.”

You always found his confusion toward, what you felt to be, normal human things quite endearing. “Yeah, well it is called Mortal Kombat; violence is kind of in the name.”

He sighed, still trying to process the game. “I also don’t understand the ‘mortal’ concept; this game appears to be full of supernatural beings.”

You laughed heartily at his observations. “Cas, don’t worry about the title. Just pick a character and I’ll take it easy on you for a few rounds so you can figure it out.”

He made his selection and only took a minute to figure out the general mechanics of the game. You, however, failed to mention the concept of combinations and special moves.

“How do you keep doing that?” Castiel asked, starting to get aggravated. “Mine doesn’t do anything like that.”

“Each character has their own set of special moves.” You said with a sly smile. “You just have to figure them out.”

—————

As time moved on, Castiel was becoming less and less amused with constantly losing the game. It was funny at first, but you didn’t want to rub it in for too long. “Alright Cas, we could both use a break for a bit. I don’t want you snapping the controller in half.”

He sighed. “I’m afraid you are much better at this game than I am.”

You smiled softly at his admission. “Hey, had that been real combat you would have had me pinned in a second; even without using your mojo. I think that’s more important than being good at a silly video game anyways.”

The smile had returned to his face as he thought about how you always seemed to go out of your way to make someone feel better. Sure, you had your moments where you’d get in a light hearted, verbal jab or prank; but ultimately you were very kind and he adored that about you.

You stood up and stretched. “I’m gonna go scrounge up the junk food that Dean hides in his room and we can watch a movie or something.”

You returned to your room with an armful of snacks and a piece of red licorice hanging from your mouth. “What’re we watching, Cas?”

He smiled almost wickedly at you. “I think I would like a rematch.”

You cocked your eyebrow at him. “Think you can take down the champ after the ass-whooping I just gave you?”

“I think I can.” He stated bluntly. “In fact, why don’t we, as Dean would say, make things interesting.”

That certainly piqued your interest. “You want to make a wager, Castiel? Obviously money doesn’t mean much to you; what could you possibly want to wager?”

“You have to whatever I ask for a day.” He smiled brightly, seeming overly confident in his suggestion. “Within reason, of course.”

“Ahh, I see.” You stated knowingly as you sat next to him. “Slave for a day. Dean loves that one.”

His expression dropped slightly. “I wouldn’t say slave, you can say no if you find any request too extreme.”

You smiled wickedly at him. “Alright. Deal. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have my own, personal, angelic errand boy.”

The soft smile remained on his face as he turned back toward the tv; controller in hand. “We’ll see about that.”

—————

“What the fuck? You’ve gotta be cheating!” You yelled in frustration.

When he won the first round you assumed it was luck. When he kept getting flawless fatalities, you got concerned. After winning the third and final round, he turned and smiled at you. “It appears I won the bet.”

“Yeah, yeah.” you grumbled. “It doesn’t really count when you’re a cheater. I don’t know how you did it, but you pulled some angel mojo or something.”

“I merely figured out a winning strategy and applied it accurately. The internet is quite the resource for finding the necessary sequence of moves to acquire a win.” His voice was flat and unaffected by your accusations. “As for our wager, would you like to start now or tomorrow morning?”

“Ugh!” You groaned as you flopped back on to the couch. “Might as well start now. What do you want me to do first, wash your truck for you?”

He chuckled and shifted closer to you. “No, nothing like that. I’d like you to join me for dinner tonight.”

Your eyes shot to his as you sat up. “What?! Cas you don’t even eat.”

“No, but you do.” He said softly and placed his hand gently on yours. “I’m also told that dinner activity for a date.”

“You… want to go on a date with me?” Your voice was a little shaky from nerves and the suddenness of his question.

Castiel misunderstood your nervousness as hesitation and discomfort. Pulling his hand away from yours, he tried to reassure you. “I said you had the option to say no if the request was too uncomfortable. You don’t have to go to dinner with me if your don’t wish to.”

“No!” you said a little too loudly as you noticed his sad expression. “I mean, yes. I was just thrown off by it, Cas. I never thought you’d be interested in me.

He frowned at you. "Why wouldn’t I be? You’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. You’re also quite beautiful.”

You blushed and looked away from his sparkling blue eyes; afraid you might die from over-swooning. “You’re very sweet, Cas. Thank you.”

He smiled warmly and dipped his head down so he could barely see your face. “So, is that a yes?”

The wide smile returned to your face as your eyes met his again. “Yes, Cas, I’d love to go to dinner with you.”

—————
Tag List:
@splendidcas
@Seasalticecream0131
@grunge-crybabies
@love-charmer-sketch
@hamartiamacguffin
@heavenlyrainyparis
@crowleysminion
@mysteriouslyme81-deactivated201
@bitchasaurus
@smoothdogsgirl
@aly-birleanu
@djs-lacrimose
@ourloveisforthelovely
@docharleythegeekqueen
@pastapizzacheesedragon
@castiel-savvy18
@Lllydg
@alangel1895
@gill-ons
@sassy-losechester
@mysweetcookie99
@casbabydontgoineedyou
@i-littlemissillusions
@study-me-misha
@rosep16
@cornflax01
@lazairahel
@alyssa6marie
@marisayouass
@afanofmanystuffs
@ronnie248-blog
@bluetina-blog
@kmcmpmd
@amyapathetic
@emycakes4457
@waywardmoeyy
@cursedwithboredom
@jchnwatson39
@animexchocolate
@missdestiel67
@bookcaseninja
@letsmakeitanotheryear
@thebookisbtr
@trinty33
@acciojarofdirt
@maui137
@silenceofmidnite
@kcam1621
@alexastacio
@troubletrumble
@thran-duils
@omgitss0y

Beyond a reasonable doubt

My response to recent fandom meltdowns. What would Mulder and Scully do? Slightly not safe for work. 

Mulder was propped up on his left arm, his mobile in his right hand, the bed sheets tangled around his legs. Scully took a moment to admire the ripple of muscles in his arms and chest as he scrolled.

           “What are you looking at Mulder?”

           “There’s been a drama unfolding on Tumblr.”

           “About Trump?” She untied the belt on her robe and hung it over the chair next to her side.

           “No, about that actress Gillian Anderson.”

           She sat on the bed. “Who?”

           He looked at her with a lazy grin. “The one who played Stella Gibson in The Fall.”

           Recognition flickered across her eyes and she hummed a little. “Ah, yes. Those silk blouses and pencil skirts. Those legs. That impeccable British accent.” She licked her lips and closed her eyes for a moment.

           Mulder chuckled. “You know there’s no such thing as a British accent, don’t you Scully?”

           “Huh?”

           “There are around 60 accents in the British Isles. Detective Superintendent Stella Gibson speaks with a southern English accent. Plummy.”

           Scully let herself slide further down the bed and turned to face him. “Like Phoebe Green, you mean?” She did her best ‘home counties’ accent and waited for him to bite. He rewarded her with an eye roll and a quiet ‘hmph’. “Can I see?” She took the phone. “So what’s the issue? Why is this picture a big deal? She looks happy.”

           “Yep. She does. But it’s who she looks happy next to that’s creating the blow-up.” He tapped the screen. The image enlarged.

           “Who is it?”

           “His name is Peter Morgan and he’s a screenwriter. We watched his most recent show, The Crown.”

           Scully peered at the phone. “Is that the one with Queen Victoria?”

           “No, that was Victoria. The Crown is the one about the early days of Queen Elizabeth II. Remember?”

           “Oh yes, that was great. A young woman thrust into the patriarchy, daring to have her own opinions and having to put up with a partner whose attention span was akin to a five-year-old and whose loyalty was sometimes dubious. Tough woman.” She gave him back the phone. “So what’s the fuss? And why are you on Tumblr, Mulder?”

           He put the mobile on his bedside drawer. “The fuss is that she has been linked to David Duchovny, the actor from Californication, for quite some time. And the fandom is in meltdown that she is now apparently seeing this Peter Morgan. It’s goodbye Gillovny and hello Gilligan.”

           Scully shook her head. “So the poor woman is reduced to a celebrity match name instead of being recognised for the talented actor that she is. It’s disgraceful. Imagine if we were given a couple name? How demeaning would that be?”

           “Would we be Sculder or Mully?” he asked, watching the strap of her nightgown slip down her shoulder. He placed a gentle kiss there. She turned and stroked his head, chuffing out a soft laugh.

           “And was she ever confirmed to be dating that Duchovny guy? I mean, he’s pretty hot, but do we really know anything about him? He might be conceited or arrogant or unfaithful or boring. Although, I did read his books and they were funny and sweet,” she let Mulder continue his ministrations. “And this Peter guy might be plain in comparison but he might be super intelligent, witty, charming. Women are turned on by all sorts of different things – emotional, intellectual and physical traits. It’s sometimes a slow and subtle burn that worms its way through your entire system until one day you look up and realist that this ordinary person you’ve known for a while is actually the love of your life.”

Mulder stopped kissing her arm and looked up at her. “Ordinary?”

“I’m not necessarily talking about you, Mulder. Carry on.” He did. “And how do any of these people on Tumblr know anything about these celebrities? They must spend half their day consumed with what famous people are doing instead of living their own lives, or loving their partners or children, or creating things, or helping others.”

           Mulder kissed down her arm to her elbow and licked the soft skin at the inside. She let out a slight moan. That sound did things to him.

“I know, right?” His teen girl impersonation made her giggle and he listened to that wonderful sound before licking again.

“Mulder, that’s really good, but I still want to know why you’re on Tumblr?”

“I’ve got an account.” He moved down her arm to her wrist and pressed his full lips to her papery skin there. That always got a reaction. She squirmed and he put his other hand over her abdomen, lightly stroking the silky material of her gown.

“What?” she pushed his hand away.

He pulled back and frowned. “Yeah, and this shit goes down and it’s terrible. People have actually sent death threats to the children of some of the bloggers. Anonymously, of course. But that’s scary.”

Scully looked at him, quirking an eyebrow. “It is. But since when did you get a Tumblr account, Mulder?”

“And who’s the real victim here, Scully? The celebrities, the bloggers who are being harassed, their children who don’t even know about the shitstorm, the rest of us watching it going down consumed by second-hand anxiety about people we don’t even really know?”

“You’re always on the side of the victim, Mulder, but this isn’t real life.”

“It’s somebody’s real life. It’s the real life of the mother whose child’s life was threatened.”

She sighed. “I know. It’s terrible. But when did you get a Tumblr account?”

“I set it up a while ago. I don’t have many followers but I like to see what’s going on so I look at my feed and go onto some of my favorite sites.”

She looked at him, tucking her chin to her chest. “What’s your blog called?”

“But Aliens.”

“Butt Aliens?”

He looked hurt. “You’re saying it wrong, Scully. But Aliens. It’s a blog about other the possibilities of life forms, space travel, conspiracies, UFO sightings. I just need more followers, you know?”

“I can imagine.”

“You sound a bit judgy, Scully.”

“No, I just don’t see what you’re trying to prove by being on a social media site like that.”

He climbed on top of her, pulled off her gown and grinned. “Right now, I’m trying to prove to you that people on the internet are crazy, and I think I’ve just about covered off on that. And next up I am about to prove that I’m also crazy in love with you. So, if you’ll just stop that brain of yours from disapproving of my downtime habits and let me proceed, I think you’ll find that my case is sound beyond a reasonable doubt.”

“There are some downtime habits of yours that I do approve of, Mulder.” She took his face in her hands and kissed him deeply, then pushed it down to her chest. He obliged and took a nipple between his teeth, enjoying her sharp hiss. He took his time, working her up to a crescendo of moans before trailing his tongue down her belly and finding the right spot with the sort of precision borne out of years of practice.


The morning sun cast a silvery shadow across their room. He breathed in the musky smell of their night’s pleasure and he picked up his phone.

           “Whoa, Scully! I’ve picked up lots more followers overnight.”

           She turned over and grumbled. “Don’t tell me you posted a photo of us together with the caption ‘Sculder confirmed.’?”

           He grinned into the side of her neck. “No, weird porn wins the internet again. I changed the name of my blog to Butt Aliens.”

anonymous asked:

You just look like a fat butch lesbian on your wedding photos lmao

1. Ain’t nothing wrong with fat butch lesbians. What’s your damage?

2. Lmao at least I’ve got someone who loves me and wanted to marry me and I’m not some lonely puckered anus sending anonymous hate mail on the internet. So I mean. Who’s winning here?

Some of my thoughts about Sarah’s broadcast..

1. Lainey and Sarah keep blaming the internet/hate blogs/drama threads for causing all these problems and for forcing Sarah back into an abusive household. That and Lane. In my opinion, first of all the adults are to blame. Not Lane and not Sarah. Secondly, I feel like there were two major factors that caused this all to explode.

The first was those tweets Lainey send Sarah back in 2015. I remember back then seeing Sarah and Lainey flirting.. I’m sorry I mean “banter”-ing over twitter and thinking “this is going to come back to bite Lainey in the ass”. I was always on the boat that there was nothing more than a friendship going on, but I could see how people were finding their interactions disturbing. When the tweets were brought up on the broadcast, Lainey kept coming up with explanation after explanation for each of those tweets and Lainey Greg & Sarah all said “that’s just how Lainey talks to girls on twitter”. What they did not acknowledge was that this was very inappropriate behavior on Lainey’s part. Also taking into consideration Lainey announced she was looking for a girlfriend at the time then all of a sudden you see Sarah, a 14 year old that was interested in girls, flirting on twitter with them. I saw a few people in the chat saying “if this was a straight 20 year old male tweeting at a 14 year old girl would it still be considered banter?” I think this is an excellent point and really demonstrates people that were concerned’s logic. Not that (like how Greg likes to put it) two girls that are into girls can’t be friends. It’s about the nature of the tweets and the age gap. It’s inappropriate for an adult to be flirty (even if joking) to a 14 year old. 

The second factor that lead to this blowout was the series of events around September and October. Mainly the little to no explanation on anyone’s part about why Sarah was there. No one wanted her life story, but the fact that things were not clear freaked people out. Mainly because of their past twitter interactions, people suspected Lainey and Greg flew her out to have a relationship with Lainey, like what they did with Billie. This lead to the police being called.

I really believe if there were never any blogs or threads following Greg’s life, people still would have flipped out over this.

2. People in the comments (before Lainey went on a blocking spree) kept asking why did they even make Sarah public or why don’t they just delete their social media accounts. This was a veryyy interesting point. Especially after Lainey and Sarah explained Sarah had to leave because there was too much online drama and it was bleeding into her real life. Why couldn’t they just delete or go silent and let everything blow over? 

Lainey also kept saying Sarah is leaving because Lainey doesn’t want to deal with the police anymore even though they have nothing to hide. I really don’t see why Lainey would just give up because of this? Especially with the whole “now Sarah has to go back to an abusive situation” Sarah and Lainey kept bringing up. Why not log out of your accounts, stop making youtube videos with Sarah, and if nothing illegal is happening the wait for things to blow over with law enforcement? I feel like now that the situation was finally clearly explained, nothing is vague anymore it’s a great opportunity to try an option like this out. Why give up on an abuse victim just because the internet is annoying and I don’t want to deal with police anymore? (I’m not saying I think Sarah should stay or go, I don’t know her life. I’m also not saying Lainey has something to hide from police. I’m just saying Lainey’s explanation does not make sense to me.)

3. This one is just a pet peeve of mine, but Lainey and Sarah kept using the “you guys want x, then when I do x you get mad. I can’t win” crap. They did this like 5 times. The internet is not one person. People have different opinions. This logic makes no sense and drives me crazy lmao