What'd do you think of Reylo type ships outside of canon? Like, in the context of au's, where it isn't portrayed as abusive? Often times, in au's, he's written as a generally nice guy, just with serious anger management he's working through, and they ship itself then changes dynamic to be non-abusive.
Honestly I think AU’s where the person is a generally nice guy go a long way towards woobifying that particular villain. I’m saying that as someone who read a lot of Loki fanfiction to try and see the point that fandom was trying to make by woobifying him.
All that really happens in the end is that the fandom forgets the real charactization in canon and clings to the fanon version in their AUs. I’ve seen it happen in different fandoms where everyone starts swearing like their fanon version is the real version.
It happened to Loki to the extent that they blamed the majority of his villainy to the shitty parenting he’d received even though the evidence for that was flimsy at best. Not to mention most of the comic Loki fans were quick to point out that while comic!Loki was more of a truly chaotic trickster and not as evil as MCU Loki.
In some fandoms its possible to do away with the evil part altogether. Like for example in the Flash fandom its possible to write a true Harrison Wells that was never tainted by Eobard thawne impersonating him and wearing his face. That I wouldn’t consider woobification of Harrison Wells at all. It would just be writing Harrison from say Earth 2.
Can you really do that to Kylo Ren? I don’t think so. In the film he is homicidal to a massive scale. He sides with the people that destroy everything from whole villages to whole planets thus sharing in their guilt for the massive genocides. He himself wiped out a class of young Jedi and he did that before he became Kylo Ren. He kills his father to get himself to become more of the Dark side. Thats not someone working out some anger issues that’s someone who’s committed to becoming evil.
Could that be worked out? Could we go back to a time when he wasn’t evil I think we could but it would have to be the distinction between Ben Solo and Kylo Ren. Ben Solo may have had some anger issues before he submitted to the Dark Side but the Ben Solo who hadn’t killed a whole class of young Jedi. Making that distinction is important I think because if not you’re just saying that Kylo Ren is actually an ok dude. Which he is not.
You can’t have Kylo without the genocide its impossible and attempting to do that is clearly woobification. While that may not be shipping an abusive ship it still has toxic consequences on the fandom because the fanon Kylo becomes intertwined with his woobified fanfic counterpart. That has other effects such as vilifying other characters in order to do this. I’ve even seen it happen. In one meta I didn’t care to finish they blamed bad parenting saying that Han had been a bad father. Which not only made Han seem OOC but also removes Kylo’s culpability. That’s bad don’t do that. He’s the sole reason he’s so fucked up at this point.
I’ve seen it countless times like what happened in the MCU fandom where people started going out of their way to vilify Fury in order to provide a softer less abrasive Tony Stark or to absolve Grant Ward.
After all of this even if you’re writing Ben Solo before he went Dark Side (and killed all those kids) you have to be aware that some people will still use your fics and your characterizations to justify a shitty abusive ship. You can’t stop others and how their brains will make leaps of rationalizations it’ll happen.
tl;dr You can’t have AUs where Kylo Ren is an ok dude without woobifying him. You have to be clear that you’re writing Ben Solo if he’d never killed a class of kids. That’s the only way to do it. Otherwise you’re still contributing to a toxic habit that fandom has of absolving the main villain. Even if you write Ben Solo before he’d killed those kids you have to be aware some people will continue to use your charactization to further woobify Kylo Ren.
I hope this all makes sense its kinda late here.
Edit: I just realized that I referred to you writing fics as if you weren’t referring to fics already written. Basically all fics that write Kylo as an ok dude with anger issues are still shitty but because they absolve him of his genocidal tendencies and his abusive nature.
Edit: After getting this ask I’ve decided that the only reason to write Ben Solo is because you want a white OC to ship with Rey and you are therefore racist.