i will think of a title for this story someday in the future ;;;

A-Z Book Recommendations.

What a great idea from my friend at @macrolit :) Had to give it a go. I’ve omitted “A’s” and “The’s” from most of the titles for sake of flow.

  • A - American Gods by Neil Gaiman - A wandering modern “fantasy” that felt keenly poignant to me having grown up in the midwest. You’ll need patience for this one but this book is truly about the journey not the destination.
  • B - Bloody Jack by L.A. Meyer - I’ll be honest, I never finished this series. It got a little overblown but the characters are so genuine that I held out a lot longer than I would expect of myself. This first book though is the definition of a classic middle reader. Lot of Adventure and a lovable, fierce, albeit flawed, female protagonist. 
  • C - Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess - I used to read this book every summer. It’s a rough read with some explicit violence (sexual and otherwise) but an important one I think. I recommend reading the “British” publishing which has 21 chapters (the publishers took out the last one for American audiences, because apparently we don’t like character redemption and growth *eyeroll*). The real genius of this book is the vernacular Burgess created from scratch that is truly like reading another language at first. 
  • D - Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab - Not to be cliche but I find that a lot of the titles Booklr obsesses over in the YA genre to be par-baked at best. Not the case with this series! Well developed characters that exist beyond their actions and exhibit real emotional complexity without relying on tropes and a plot that kept me turning and turning pages!

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Memories To Come

Request: “Do you think you could write something where you are at Remus’s house and his mom is telling embarrassing stories and he gets all flustered and embarrassed?”

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Your fingers grazed against the picture frames as you walked down the hallway. Their images causing a swell of nostalgia to stir, as you looked from a scarred child, down the way to a now smiling young man. Remus hadn’t had it easy, and in some of the photographs his smile didn’t reach his eyes. But while at your sides remained the memories of a sorrowful past, ahead lay your joyful boyfriend, laughing softly as he hugged his mother. Towards you lay the future, happy and bright.

“Your house is beautiful, Mrs. Lupin.” You admired gently, coming to be in front of the two.

“Thank you, darling.” She beamed. “But please, call me Hope. The title of Mrs. Lupin is being reserved for a certain someone.” She winked.

“Mother, is that really necessary?” Remus whined, although a small smile tugged at his lips.

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the inquisitor and da4

Before delving into things, I’d like to make it clear that I’m not trying to rag on the Trespasser DLC in any way. In fact, I really enjoyed it. I also know that there was a quote floating around here from someone with Bioware who apparently stated that the Inquisitor won’t be playable in the next game (I can’t find the source or the exact quote right now), but I just wanted to give my two cents anyway.

How did the Trespasser DLC ensure that the Inquisitor would no longer be the playable protagonist? If anything, it only gave me the impression that the Inquisitor would be playing a major role in the next game. Wasn’t Trespasser being advertised as the ‘end’ of the Inquisition? I’m not saying they should have killed the Inquisitor off, but that would at least have been a definite ending to the Inquisitor’s story and would have effectively barred them off as the main character in Dragon Age 4. 

Having the Inquisitor return would make sense because, in a way, they are partially responsible for Solas:

Inquisitor: This war proved that we can’t go back to the way things were. I’ll try to help this world move forward.

Solas: You would risk everything you have in the hope that the future is better? What if it isn’t? What if you wake up to find that the future you shaped is worse than what was?

Inquisitor: I’ll take a breath, see where things went wrong, and then try again.

Solas: Just like that?

Inquisitor: If we don’t keep trying, we’ll never get it right.

Solas: You’re right. Thank you. You have not been what I expected, Inquisitor. You have… impressed me. You have offered hope that if one keeps trying, even if the consequences are grave, that someday, things will be better.

While Solas was already planning to destroy the world by allowing Corypheus to find his orb, his plans were foiled when Corypheus didn’t actually die. Thus, he was forced to find another way to regain his power. The Inquisitor inspired Solas to keep trying to rectify his mistakes. So yes, the consequences of doing so will be grave, but he must persist to make up for creating the Veil, no matter what. That being said, the Inquisitor cannot directly be blamed for what Solas is planning, but they should feel at least feel that it is their duty to stop him and once again save the world.

Sure, Leliana and the Inquisitor both agree that it would be best to find people that Solas doesn’t know since he is familiar with all of their faces and tactics, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the Inquisitor will be staying on the sidelines while someone new goes after him. When speaking to Solas at the end of the DLC, the Inquisitor makes it sound like they will personally find a way to stop Solas from destroying the world:

Inquisitor: You don’t have to destroy the world. I’ll prove it to you.

Solas: I welcome the chance to be wrong once again, my friend.


Inquisitor: If I live, I’m coming to stop you.

Solas: I know.

To me, Solas’ response to the first option even sounds like a direct invitation for the Inquisitor to try. Also, wouldn’t it make more sense narratively to have the Inquisitor confront Solas at the end of the next game? I think it would be likely that Solas would respond more positively to the Inquisitor than to someone he doesn’t really know. If you manage to get Solas’ approval high enough, he even tells you that he has great respect for the Inquisitor, so obviously, if anyone could persuade him, it’d be them. 

Solas even likens himself to the Inquisitor:

Solas: I was Solas first. “Fen’Harel” came later… An insult I took as a badge of pride. The Dread Wolf inspired hope in my friends and fear in my enemies… Not unlike “Inquisitor,” I suppose.

Solas: You also know the burden of a title that all but replaces your name.

Wouldn’t it be more fitting, then, for them to be the one actively working to find and confront Solas once and for all? Not to mention that having the Inquisitor be the one to face Solas in DA4 would also offer more closure to those who romanced him.

All Bioware really did was have the Inquisitor lose the forearm that the Anchor was attached to. Don’t tell me they expect us to believe that losing an arm means they can no longer go after Solas. Dragon Age is a series that has magic, dragons, elves… need I go on? My point is, implying that it’s not realistic for the Inquisitor to be returning as the playable protagonist in DA4 merely because of what happened to their arm is ridiculous. They can’t think of a way to give the Inquisitor some sort of prosthetic that will help them fight? Dagna exists! If anyone can invent something that can help the Inquisitor, it would be Dagna. Cullen even says that Dagna “crafts the impossible every day,” so… there you go. 

I know some think that DA4 will give you the choice to have either the new protagonist or the Inquisitor confront Solas, but that seems unlikely. Having the Inquisitor decide for your character or having the protagonist tell the Inquisitor what to do won’t be very gratifying. If anything, I can see Bioware coming up with a scenario in which the protagonist and the Inquisitor both confront Solas, which will result in the protagonist having to battle Solas with assistance from the Inquisitor. That would be a very cheap and cliché ending, if I’m being honest. I know that Bioware isn’t really one for originality, and their writing tends to contradict itself quite a bit, but I want to give them the benefit of doubt.

I’m also aware that the tradition for the Dragon Age series is that each game will have a new protagonist, but honestly if Bioware wanted that to happen, they shouldn’t have ended Trespasser the way they did. It was too open-ended to keep the Inquisitor from returning as the main protagonist. I hope that I don’t give the impression that I’m just really attached to the Inquisitor (the Warden is my favorite hero, personally). All I’m saying is that it would make for a much interesting and compelling story if the Inquisitor were to continue as the main character in the next game. 

spectralspices  asked:

So. Secret Empire. I read it and it's just a sickening mess. Everything happening is just in service of making the Big Event Happen (like civil war 2, bluh) and the only reason I'm really excited for this is so that we can just purge nazi-cap from our collective consciousness once this is over. I don't even have a question! I'm just venting about this shitty event! Fuck nick spencer, that guy is a moron with no respect for where cap CAME from. "Oh he was a nazi the whole time" eat SHIT SPENCER

poorsimon said:Do you think there is a slight possibility that we’ll get a fantastic four book in 2017 to celebrate jack kirbys centenary? Marvel is a hot mess right now with that boring fascist captain America and every series that I was enjoying is either ending in the next couple of months or crossover events are ruining them, looks like marvel is in the same place dc was during the new 52 era

Anonymous said:Thoughts on Dark Matter/Generations/Secret Empire? Specifically for secret Empire, Cap is on of my favorite heroes and I feel like this fundamentally breaks him in a really shitty way. Not to say we won’t get good stories with him in the future, but it’s sort of like Dr. Light where every time he shows up you can’t help but think of identity crisis.

There’s been a bit of a theme to my asks the last couple days.

So yeah. Spoilers ahead, obviously: in the midst of an all-out assault on the nation and world, just as it seemed everyone would make it through like always to see another day, America was betrayed by its systems and subverted from within, culminating in an overt fascist seizing of the White House. Don’t worry though, this week Marvel’s saying it isn’t political.

The cake-topper being that as it turns out via flashback, Nazi Cap (and in response to the inevitable um, actually’s: Hydra’s seminal story under Steranko showed their leader as a character created by Stan and Jack as a Nazi, pretty much all explicit Hydra-isn’t-Nazis material are retcons by Spencer for this arc, “Hail Hydra” is an obvious analogue for another fascist chant, the ‘real Hydra’ inner circle includes Nazis and Neo-Nazis, and this Cap’s vision for America includes white children hunting black children in the street. He’s a fuckin’ Nazi) isn’t a construct of the cosmic cube, but in fact the real Steve Rogers: the Axis won World War II, but the Allies used a cosmic cube to create a fake history where Rogers was on their side and they won the war - gotta ask why they didn’t deal with the Holocaust too - with the real guy now reactivated and fulfilling his true mission. Obviously, this not only delegitimizes every story of a character created by a pair of Jewish-Americans specifically to punch Hitler right in the fucking face, but does it by stating that in the natural course of things, the Master Race of course overtakes the Earth with their sheer superiority, with the very concept of the people they would annihilate having a chance at hope or justice or freedom being a lie currently in the process of getting torn down.

This is a little bit touchy.

There’s obvious franchising reasons for this: Chris Evans has made clear he isn’t sticking around for long if at all after Avengers 4, while as of that movie Anthony Mackie will still have at least 3 films in his contract, so it’s in their interests to set Sam Wilson up in the comics as Captain America to match. Problem is, they started the process before a movie about Steve Rogers, so they had to bring him back, and now have to figure out a way to get him out of the picture for a longer period than simply old age or death. And if you want to get him out of the running for the title of One True Captain America, not only making him a Nazi, and retroactively always a Nazi at that, but classifying literally every non-Nazi Captain America story essentially in-universe fanfic? That’ll get him off the board for awhile. It’s ruinously terrible, but also quick and easy, same as it was quick and easy to move Captain Marvel and once upon a time Iron Man into the spotlight in time for their movies by making them fascists. You’ll have to ask Marvel why fascism is their go-to shocking character twist, though.

I think the source point of the issues here stems from something simple I mentioned recently: I don’t think either of the Big Two necessarily believe there’s going to be a comic book industry in 20 years, or even necessarily 10, so there’s no real reason to attempt anything other than drawing as much blood from the stone as they possibly can. Clearly the creators are trying their best, middle-management I’m sure have long-term plans, and I doubt the powers-that-be want it to fail. But sales have been dropping for years, and neither of them have demonstrated any plan of substance whatsoever to reverse that trend. They both had their moments of attempting to right the ship, and both fell through – the original Marvel NOW! and its immediate follow-ups were major successes, but half their biggest writers left in the wake of Secret Wars and so they reverted to type with endless editorial interference and bullshit crossovers, while DC’s attempt at innovation with DCYou was scattershot at best, clearly born less of a philosophy of “let’s let our best talents try bold new things!” nearly so much as “let’s do weird new things that might grab headlines”. 

Viewed in that light, many of their recent decisions start to make sense; after the New 52 trying to draw in 90s fanboys and maybe a couple teenagers fell through, DC’s explicitly banking on rolling back the clock and appealing to the core fanbase with Rebirth while simultaneously betting everything on the shock value of incorporating Watchmen, while Marvel has fallen back on its regular event-and-relaunch tactics, and if the “Make Mine Marvel” rumors are true, they’ll soon be returning to a predominately white and male cast of headliners with a handful of exceptions (hence why escape hatches were built into almost all of their recent successor characters – Mjolner was prophesied to return to the Odinson before the first issue of Jane Foster’s book, Tony Stark is only in stasis, the Ultimate Universe may or may not be waiting out there for Miles and his cast to return, etc.) They don’t think there’s a new audience to be won, or at minimum they clearly haven’t given any thought to the kind of formatting, publication, narrative or marketing breakthroughs that might let them reach that wider audience (probably part of why they’re so petrified of staying in retailers’ good graces – digital of the way of the future, but they don’t believe they’re going to see that future, therefore they’re sticking to appealing to the base while they can), and so naturally they’re going to the tried-and-true methods of drawing cash out of the existing audience until it all falls apart, by which time everyone currently at the top will have new jobs or be retired.

So that Marvel in particular has been overly contemptuous of progressive elements of their fanbase isn’t shocking. I doubt their leadership of middle-aged guys have any particular sympathy for their viewpoint, and if they don’t see them as a potential pathway to saving the industry either, then it’s not a surprise they clearly see them as a gaggle of mercurial, industry-ignorant whiners, to be discarded once the half-hearted measures at winning them over aren’t enough. And if they’ve decided they don’t give a shit about progressive ideals in the slightest beyond what’s necessary to avoid mainstream attention on their fuck-ups, and they don’t seem to be trying to bring about a workable model for the industry – especially given that they’re at this point unquestionably the secondary caretakers of these characters compared to TV and movies, so these franchises can go on without them – and they’re convinced shock value stunts and events are the only way to draw in dollars while they can, then yeah. Sure. Why wouldn’t they make Captain America a Nazi? To think that’s a bad idea would require meaningfully giving a shit about their own product, or at least thinking that anyone else will in a few years.

As for the Fantastic Four, that’s probably still in Fox’s hands, but I really do hope Al Ewing gets a crack at them someday.


‘Mom how old are you when you first met dad?’

‘I was sixteen, he was eighteen.’ The woman smiled. ‘He was already touring the world, I was a fan obviously. I remember pushing your grandparents to buy me tickets because I’m a huge fan and I remember I cried when they gave me tickets with a meet and greet pass.’ The woman said.

The young lady just smiled and so focus on the woman’s story – her parent’s story.

‘And then after a week I studied in London, I saw him with his team. I was so excited but he got mobbed by fans already. Then after that I saw him again and for the third time he approach me and the rest is history.’ The woman smiled as she recalled all the moments with her husband, Shawn.

‘I wish I could find a love just like yours and dad.’ Sam said.

‘You will, hun.’ The woman said while smiling at her daughter. ‘Tomorrow’s your big day!’ The woman continued.

‘I’m officially unemployed!’ Sam said with so much excitement.

‘I’m sure your dad’s so proud of you.’

‘I hope he is mom!’


‘To our dear professors, the board of trustees, our parents and of course us, the graduates good morning! We’ve finally come to an end, those sleepless nights are finally done, those tears when we can’t find the right words to fit in our papers, those surprises quizzes. It’s bittersweet to be honest, we will miss our classmates, our best friends, our professors. But I would like to say thank you to our parents, especially mine.’ Sam said and the tears are forming in her eyes.

‘To my mom, Thank you for being my rock, for always being there for me. For always understanding me.’ Sam said as she looked at her mom who’s smiling at her and tears are falling down on her face.

‘To my dad, who’s in heaven now probably playing guitar and singing this one’s for you. Everytime I go up on stage and receive awards I always think of him. He’s my biggest inspiration in life and he’s the reason why I choose to be a doctor. I remember I was 4 when he started fighting cancer, I remember telling him that someday I will be a doctor to fight the monsters in his body. He will always be my superhero, he will always be my favorite rhythm. Dad, I love you, I know you’re looking down at us today, I hope you’re proud of me. I promise to fight all the monsters in the body of all my future patients for you.’ Sam said while looking at her family who’s all teary-eyed.

‘To my dear classmates and friends, cherish every moment with your parents. We don’t know when we’re going to lose them, so be thankful that you still have a mother and a father who’s willing to give up everything just to give you what you want and what you need. Be thankful, hug them and dedicate everything you do for them.’ Sam continued. ‘So, graduates, parents and teachers, congratulations to all of us! Have a good day!’

After the ceremony the students gather to take one last picture before they go to their families. Sam went to her friends to take some pictures and hugged them.

‘We’re so proud of you!’ Karen said and hugged Sam.

‘Thanks, Lala.’ Sam said and hugged Karen as well.

‘Congrats to my favorite girl!’ Manny said as she hugged Sam.

‘Thank you, Popa’ Sam said.

‘I’m sure he’s so proud of you, congrats baby girl!’ Aaliyah said and hugged her niece tightly.

‘Thanks aunt AA’ Sam said and hugged Aaliyah so tight as well.

‘I’m so proud of you!’ Y/N said as she hugs her daughter.

‘Thank you mom. This one’s for you and dad!’ Sam said as she hugged her mom so tight.

‘Let’s go?’ Manny asked.

‘Yes, let’s go!’ Aaliyah answered.

They all went home to celebrate Sam’s graduation and to celebrate the love of Shawn. It may be years now that Shawn was gone, but the love he gave to his family will never be forgotten.

A/N: I can’t think of any title to this one and i hope you guys like this one even though I don’t really know how to end this one but here you goooo. Feedbacks are always welcome to my ask! I also accept requests. :)


This is long but it is something I probably would have wanted to hear when I was an undiagnosed spoonie. 

I’ve been reading “This is How: Help for the Self” by Augusten Burroughs to help me make sense of my life with lupus. It’s one of those self-help books for people who don’t like self-help books. And he is essentially a magician because it feels like magic when he puts into words everything I’m feeling. But then I read his chapter titled “How to be Sick” and it broke my heart, because that chapter is written for people who get diagnosed with an illness. It reminds me of all of those years before my lupus diagnosis when I knew for sure there was something really bad happening inside of me but no one could tell me what it was. I felt like I couldn’t mourn the way you get to mourn when you’re diagnosed with something. I felt like I couldn’t turn to people for support the same way others could. Which non-profit charity should I seek help from when I don’t know which disease it is? I would often find myself at a bookstore staring at the health/self-help section blankly, wondering if someday there would be a place for me on the shelf, aching to be able to pick up a book that was written for me. I lingered in some somber, paralyzing purgatory. And I stayed there for years, tossed around by doctors, misdiagnoses, questioning glances and awkward shrugs. Should something that agonizing be omitted from self-help books? There simply needs to be more support for the undiagnosed. They deserve to see their story on a shelf. 

Augusten Burroughs writes “the day of your diagnosis will seem like the end of your life and the beginning of your death. Now, instead of a future when you contemplate what’s next, you will see only a large gray CAT scan machine blocking your view of the terrifying unknown behind it. The first thing you understand is that when something is new the novelty or newness itself carries weight. This makes the message weigh more. Bad news is even worse when you are first told of it. The diagnosis will never be as terrifying as it is the first day it is given to you.”

But that advice isn’t universal, because for some people that day never comes. Or at least it feels like that day will never come. They know they are sick. They know their bodies and they know something isn’t right anymore. For years they feel a certain way and they interpret that way to be what normal is, and then one day they wake up and all of a sudden that normal is gone, replaced with a deep ache they don’t recognize. Or slowly, over the course of a few months or years, that feeling that they know as normal will become distant, and that deep ache will creep in so gradually that they won’t notice at first. They’ll think it’s a virus, food poisoning or something simple like a pinched nerve that will un-pinch itself soon enough. But the normal doesn’t ever come back. And even though they know something inside of them has veered off track, doctors dismiss them. If they don’t see proof right away they are waved out of clinics and told to go home.

For those people, they never get to experience the dread of the diagnosis. And that’s probably the worst thing of all, if you think about it. Because at least when the diagnosis happens, as harrowing and violent a shift it causes inside of you, you’re given the time and the resources to comprehend that disaster and you’re given the proper encouragement to heal. Someone will cover you in a blanket, offer you some hot tea and tell you that someday it will be okay, at least now you know what it is, the worst has already happened, you can figure out how to go on.

It’s really tragic that there are so many people out there just wishing for that. Being sick without a diagnosis is like driving a car and seeing a transport truck coming right for you. You grip the wheel in anticipation of the horrific crash, but it never comes. You just get stuck in this loop of fear and impending disaster. You keep staring at the headlights and want for it to be over so you can either die or learn to walk again or something, anything, to move forward. You can’t attempt to recover from the crash until the crash happens. It’s that simple. The thing needs to shatter before you can pick up the broken pieces.

And then to just pile more bricks onto your heavy, aching shoulders, people start telling you that you’re making it all up. It’s in your head. You deliberately veered into oncoming traffic. You must have wanted to live like this. It’s nothing. It’s always nothing. A want for attention is all.

I think it comes down to a lack of empathy. Not enough people stop to imagine that person as their sister, mother, uncle, or friend. So let’s do that. Imagine you know this person really well. Or better yet, imagine that you are the sick one. You wake up every morning jolted by the pain and the frustration. You try with all of your might to remember what it was like before, to just spring out of bed and run downstairs to put on the coffee pot, to go for a jog before breakfast, to button up your shirt and head out to work. You forget what it’s like to not look in the mirror and feel like a failure or a stranger or a burden on your family. But instead of going for a jog, grabbing a quick shower and heading to the office, you fumble with your jeans button and painfully pull on some socks and go back to the doctor to wait for two hours just to be told your blood work came back fine, maybe you are depressed. Maybe the crushing back pain is just stress. Maybe you can’t turn your head to the side without blacking out because you don’t want to be able to turn your head to the side without blacking out. And you sit there and take the abuse and you get up and do it all over again. You do it all over again because you know the difference. You know that you used to be able to turn your head to kiss your boyfriend at the movies. You know the only backaches you ever felt were after long games of soccer with friends. You know you are happy, more or less, at least as happy as someone can be when they are this sick and nobody believes them. You know you spend most of your time trying to hide all of the pain, sickness and hurt, so how can it be a bid for attention? And if you were depressed and stressed that would be okay. You know mental illness has physical manifestations and that is just as real and painful. But that’s not what this is. You know your body.

“Once you’re in it, it’s okay,” Burroughs says of a diagnosis.

But these people never really get in it, do they? That’s a pleasure they never really get to have. And that’s heartbreaking, if you ask me. To feel like I am privileged to have been diagnosed with lupus is absurd, but it’s how I feel. I’m one of the lucky ones, I always think, when I read comments on my blog written by people who just want answers. I just wish they could find a doctor who will listen to them and see them as a person with hopes and dreams.

I guess what I’m really getting at is this: I understand. If you are that person I am writing about, know that I believe you. Don’t second-guess your instincts. Don’t listen to the people who tell you “but you don’t look sick.” I know you are sick. I know you don’t want to be sick. I understand that what you are going through is really hard, and it’s amazing really that you haven’t given up or fallen into a million pieces. And even if you did I wouldn’t blame you, because this is a battle that you shouldn’t have to fight. You should only have to fight against your disease. You shouldn’t have to spend all of your energy battling disbelieving doctors. You shouldn’t have to scream for help. You are important. You deserve answers and I really hope that you get them someday. But even if you remain undiagnosed, you are still one of the sick ones. You are as much a part of this community as someone with a diagnosis. And if the day comes when you are diagnosed it will not feel like the beginning of your death; it will feel like the beginning of a hopeful new chapter.

You are strong. You are loved. You belong here.

Title: Don’t You Wonder
Pairing: Dan x Phil
Rating: T
Word count: 1,888
Summary: On the rooftop of their flat at midnight, Dan contemplates the reasons why he hasn’t found his significant other. When Phil comes to join in, he’ll discover that maybe his meant to be has been by his side all along. Phan fluff.

This plot bunny hasn’t left my mind for the last few days, so I decided to write it. It’s been a while since I last did some Phan fluff (I’m an angst/humor writer at heart). This started out as an idea that I had to write as a “fiction exercise” for my creative writing college class (best decision I ever made), and when @beforethebraces left me that heartwarming birthday post a couple days ago, I knew that this story had to be written. And if you guys want, I could write a part 2. 😉

Sitting cross-legged dozens of feet high off the concrete ground, Dan tilts his head to gaze up at the obscure sky. The night sky is enveloped by a murky blanket of gleaming stars and a crescent moon illuminating the night. A sudden cool breeze whips across his face, causing him to shiver slightly. It’s a quarter past midnight and he’s at the rooftop of his and Phil’s flat. His black headphones are perched on his straightened mocha curls, Panic at the Disco’s Victorious playing from his iPhone.

He should be editing his next Internet Support Group video or browsing through Tumblr like a normal 20-something-year-old introvert who’s lucky to make his living from making YouTube videos about his complicated, messy life. But it’s these nights when he sits down, in relative silence, outside of his room, reflecting on his existence. It’s not exactly an existential crisis, though there have been a few times when these moments would nearly lead his brain down that path and into the familiar dark vortex.

He’s a deep thinker. He thinks the way most men wouldn’t. He thinks about things that doesn’t worry most people. Tonight, he’s thinking about the fact that he hasn’t been in a proper relationship since his bittersweet breakup with his girlfriend all those years ago. It’s a thought that kept coming back to him over the last several months while he and Phil were on their international tour. At his age, a normal person should be in a relationship, maybe even married and/or expecting their first child. Yet here he is, single as the Haru pillow on his bed, no girlfriend since his uni years. He hasn’t even been on a date since he met Phil.


Dan pauses the music on his phone and yanks off his headphones. He turns his head to find Phil standing several feet behind him.

“Knew I’d find you here.” Phil walks closer to Dan and sits down next to him, mirroring the brunette’s sitting position.


“In your ‘going deep’ mode again?”

“You know me too well.”

Phil smiles. “So what are you thinking about?”

Dan uncrosses his legs, laying his palms flat on the roof’s dirty brick floor. He angles his body slightly to face Phil. “Love.”

Phil raises an eyebrow. Curiosity surfaces in his ocean blue eyes. “Oh?”

Dan takes a deep breath, then unleashes the thoughts that have been swirling in his head for the last half hour. “Phil, I’m not 18 anymore. I’m 25. I should be hopelessly in love by now, or at least going on dates. Look at our friends. They’re either married, in relationships, or at least exploring the single fish in the sea. When I look at their love life, I sometimes wish that my love life is just like theirs. I want to kiss and hold hands and buy flowers and all that other romantic shit that couples do. I want to have a girlfriend so I can tell her ‘I love you’ every day and shower her with cheap but meaningful gifts to show her how much I love her. I put YouTube over my love life as a priority, and now that my life isn’t a total flop, I have the time and effort for a relationship. But my luck is shit as always and now that I actually want to find love, I can’t find it. I’m worried God thinks I’ve sinned too much and he’s punishing me by making me a lonely washed-up hermit. You’re doing well without a love life, but I’m not. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. When you find your future wife, which I know is gonna happen someday, you’re gonna move out and I’ll be by myself in our flat. I’ll be forever known as the twat that might as well move to Asia to be a monk for the rest of his life.”

Phil listens to Dan’s words with his face contorted in a thoughtful expression. He remains passive throughout Dan’s entire rant, looking as if he wants to interrupt him but biting his tongue so he wouldn’t do so. Once Dan is finished speaking, Phil is quiet for a few seconds before he responds.

“You aren’t alone, Dan,” he whispers. “I’m here.”

“I know you are. But that’s not enough.”

Phil’s expression reveals a hint of sadness. The emotion makes Dan want to slap himself for worrying Phil again with his complaints about how the world influences his life. Sometimes, he wonders how Phil could put with him. Phil deserves a better man to be his best friend. Instead, it’s him, a failure with a measly high school diploma who has nothing to fall back on if his YouTube career ever becomes a train wreck.

“You have your fans. They love you.”

“Not the kind of love that I want.” As much as he loves his fans, being adored by thousands of his dedicated fans can’t fill the void in his heart that longs to find his better half.

Another gust of wind blows across Dan’s face, causing goosebumps to rise on Dan’s bare arms and another shiver to zip through his entire body.

“Are you cold? Hold on, I’ll go back inside and fetch you a jumper.” Phil moves to stand, but by impulse, Dan’s right hand reaches up to grip on Phil’s forearm.

“You don’t need to,” Dan assures Phil.

In the darkness, Dan swears that Phil’s cheeks flushes with a light shade of pink.

“Are you sure? It is a bit chilly.” Phil’s attention drops to Dan’s hand still attached to his arm. Dan follows the direction of Phil’s stare and immediately pulls his hand away as if he was pinched by a crab (which happened to him once, a memory that he tries his best to suppress).

“I’m fine.”

Still flustered, Phil nods and sits back down next to Dan.

“I should be asking you that question,” Dan says, puzzled by Phil’s strange state. It must be the wind, right? It’s the only logical explanation that his mind can come up with.

“I… ummm…” Phil’s fingers fidget on the hem of his blue with white polka-dot t-shirt.

“You should’ve stayed inside,” Dan tells him. “I could’ve told you about my problems in the morning.”

“No, it’s not that.” Phil ceases playing with his fingers. “Do you really think I’m okay with not having a love life?”

“You act like it is.” When girls flirt with Phil in the streets or at public events, he never flirts with them back. Phil told Dan on several occasions that he doesn’t need a relationship to complete his life; he’s content to have his best friends and the support of his fans. And Dan believed Phil’s words, knowing that Phil’s actions supports his reasoning.

“Don’t you wonder why if what I said was a lie?”

Dan looks at Phil in confusion. “Is it a lie?”


Phil’s one-worded answer takes Dan aback. All this time, he believed that he was the only one between the two of them that disliked the single life. Why didn’t Phil say anything? Minutes ago, he was concerned about the things that he vented to Phil. This unexpected revelation changes things, because he feels a little at ease to have his best friend experiencing his dilemma too.

“Dan.” Dan’s breath hitches when he feels Phil’s hand rest atop his. His body goes rigid at the physical contact. His instinct is to pull away, but his mind won’t let him. Deep inside his head, Phil’s warm touch is comforting, as if his best friend’s hand is naturally supposed to be there.

“I don’t have a love life because of you,” he says softly.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re the one that I want to be with.”

He’s not… he’s kidding, isn’t he? He’s not serious.

“I’m in love with you.” Phil’s other hand hesitantly raises to cup the side of Dan’s face, his thumb stroking Dan’s cheek. “I’ve loved you from the moment we met in Manchester seven years ago. You came into my life with a purpose. If I didn’t meet you, I would’ve been a different person. You tell me that it’s me that made your life better, but I think it’s the other way around. You gave me a best friend. You gave me a reason to believe in soulmates, because I believe that you’re mine.”

Dan is speechless. What should he say? He can’t say the three words back. He loves Phil, though he doesn’t know if he’s in love with Phil. He does care about Phil, so much that he would let a zombie bite him over Phil if the zombie apocalypse ever happened. They have diehard shippers of Phan, and he has moments when he thinks about the what-if. What if Phan is real? What if he took a chance to fall for Phil? What if the line between imagination and reality disappeared, where dreams became reality?

“You came into my life with a purpose.”

What if this was the purpose? What if the one that he’s meant to be with is the one sitting next to him, confessing feelings that Dan was never aware that Phil had?

The first 18 years of his life was hell until Phil came into the picture. Once Phil became his best friend, an ethereal glow shined over his depressing heart.

He used to be sad, but now he’s so fucking happy.

“Say something, Dan. You’re scaring me.”

Dan blinks. He peers down at their touching hands.

Maybe this is what love is.

Love is a boy with an innocent smile that cheers him up when he has a bad day.

Love is taking care of each other when the other is sick or injured themselves from a silly accident.

Love is having mutual flaws that adds on to the perfection of their non-perfect lives.

Love is creating a joint Sims avatar that they see as their pretend son.

Love is selfless, warm, compassionate, all-consuming.

Love has no boundaries.

Love is Phil.

“I think I might love you too,” Dan murmurs. “To be honest, I don’t know what I’m feeling, but I do know that I really like what you said. And maybe one day, I can fall in love one hundred percent with you too.”

Phil’s nervous expression disappears, replaced with a wide grin that makes a grin appear on Dan’s face too.

“That’s all I need to hear.”

Closing his eyes, Dan curls his fingers with Phil’s and leans closer to Phil’s palm. His stomach churns in gentle waves when Phil’s lips ghosts over his mouth. With a smile, Dan purses his lips and touches his lips to Phil’s.

When they kiss, a light switch sets off in Dan’s brain. This is the love that he questioned if he’d ever have. This is the love he didn’t know could ever exist for him until tonight. This is the love he knows is here to stay, a love that he won’t have to have doubts about.

And later that night, when they sleep side-by-side with their arms wrapped around each other on Phil’s bed, Dan no longer has to wonder about what when and where his true love is.

Love was right there by his side all this time.

Make the World Brand New (Oliver/Felicity)

A/N: Because we’re all going to be drowning in heartbreak and angst come Wednesday, have some happiness. Title from “World Spins Madly On” by The Weepies. Also on ao3.

Felicity has always wanted a family. It’s something that she knows she needs as certainly as she knows the need to breathe. Being abandoned by a father who obviously never loved her and cared for by a mother who never understood her—it set a sort of precedent, a sort of challenge. She wants what she never had: a home, complete with cozy bedtime stories and cheery holidays and too many birthdays to count.

It would be a miserable lie to say she hasn’t thought about it more than a million times, this future she could someday build with someone she loves. Naturally, when Oliver enters the picture, those thoughts turn to him.

They’ve only been together for eight months, a precarious, glass relationship that is both stronger and more fragile than any other she’s had before. This feeling she has around him—it’s overwhelming, like it could hold the weight of the world and break her in the same breath. It paralyzes her and she can’t live without it.

When the stick turns blue, her feelings intensify by about a million. She becomes shattered and whole, thrilled and terrified. One hundred percent convinced that she can never tell him, like, ever.

(Yeah, so the science of that resolution probably won’t work out. Felicity raises an indignant middle finger to science.)

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BTS: NOW 3 Interview ~ J-Hope

Where do you want to go right now?
I want to visit all the places in the world. I have been to all continents but Africa, so I would like to visit Africa one day.  

What are you looking forward to the most right now?
I’m looking forward to the future. I am curious about where I will be and what I will be doing. 

What are your five greatest interests right now?
Making music, choreography, styling, action figures, and interior design. 

What was Chicago like?
I wanted to visit Chicago since I was a child. It was a great opportunity to actually go there. As I expected, there were so many things to see, and the food was delicious. I especially liked the pizza. If I ever go back, i will definitely eat that pizza again. 

What did you like during your stay in Chicago?
It was very “America,” and I liked it. I was happy eating good food while shooting. I think my face is so much fuller now… :)

You had a total of six concepts in the photo book. Which concept or story did you think suited you the most?
Personally, I liked the concept behind WHALIEN. I like funky and rockstar-like style, and I had so much fun during the shoot. The makeup was also something I have never tried before, so I was excited and had a wonderful time. 

Do you think you are a grown-up now?
I am not a grown-up yet. I think I will feel like one after experiencing the bitterness of life. Right now, everything is still fun for me. I actually don’t want to be a grown-up right now. I don’t want to be mature either. I wish I could remain a kid at heart forever. 

What was it like when you finally turned 20?
I didn’t think much about it. I think I was like, ‘Oh, I am an adult now? Hmm..okay then.’ I was actually a little terrified that instead of my parents, I will be responsible.

What did you want to do the most when you become an adult?
I wanted to be an ordinary college student! I think we all have certain dreams and fantasies about college life. I wanted to take up a part-time job, drink and laugh with my friends, and just be normal.

You in your imagination as a little boy 10 years ago vs. You right now - Are you the same person?
Quite similar. I always thought I would be a singer. As a child, I liked dancing and enjoyed being on a stage. I knew I would be a good singer like I am right now! Hahahahahaha!

You released the cover song ‘Adult Child’ three years ago. Can you empathize with the lyrics?
‘Adult Child’ is a good title. When people turn 20, they usually go like, ‘Yeah! I am an adult now!’ but I wasn’t like that. I thought, ‘How can a 20 year old be an adult? He’s just an ordinary college student… .’ In some ways, I am truly a realist, but at the same time, I was just an ordinary 20 year old guy.

Is there something you have not tried but want to do someday?
I want to make a music video with a song I wrote and danced to/choreographed. It really is a big dream for me. But then, I will have to learn and study so many things. But I really will make one someday!!

What other people tell you the most these days.
You look pretty these days- Hahaahahaha (shy)

What you need to hear right now.
J-HOPE! Just go slowly and take one step at a time! No need to hurry. You are doing well already!

For those who support you…
You are the reason I am standing where I am right now. Your love and support will make me a better person in the future too.  Let’s go! I love you. ♥

Your goal in 2016.
To be J-HOPE, who is loved by more fans. 
To be J-HOPE, who is recognized by more people. 
To be J-HOPE, who always thinks about the team. 
To be J-HOPE, who is always full of spirits. 

Your definition of ‘dream.’
A dream is known only to the person who has it! If you try to have a dream that other people gave you… it will turn to a nightmare. If you have enough passion for your dream, it will become a reality. And!! There is no end to a dream. Once you achieve it, you will have another dream, and you will want to have a larger and greater dream. Let’s all be cool and great!

After the interview…What are you going to do now?
It is 4:44 in the morning. Why did I look at the watch now? I will go to bed now… Hope night-

Rap Monster / Jin / Suga / Jimin / V / Jungkook

Thank you for the suggestions, anon-friend! I do really like the idea of writing an “Alice in Wonderland” type story at some point, but you are right in guessing that it wouldn’t quite match what I am doing with this series. I am mostly trying to stick with Grimm stories (although “Beauty and the Beast” is not, so I already broke the pattern with the first one, but, eh…) so that is most likely where I will find the source for the remaining two fairy tales.

(Although there is a *lot* of possibilities for a future Alice in Wonderland AU. I already know what I would title a story, if I were to write a Wonderland AU. I think I might have to write a story someday just so I can use that title. Hmmmm. This bodes further thoughts).

And *hangs head* sorry, I have never been particularly fond of the Snow White tale. I mean, I don’t dislike it exactly, it just tends to be done a lot so I’m kinda ehhh on it. I do agree Kasamatsu would make an excellent Snow White, though!!

I do very much appreciate your suggestions! It is quite lovely that you are thinking of possibilities =D I have been thinking about fairy tales for the other two stories off and on today as well although with no conclusive efforts to show for it. But I will keep thinking! Thanks again for sharing!!

So You Wanna Be a Meathead

dedicated to anyone who is just starting out, or who wants to start out

The day comes, and you’re all like, fuck yeah, I’m gonna start working out.  And it takes awhile, it always kinda does at first, you’re just kinda pissin along, you do a ton of cardio and maybe play with some of the machines.  Like testing the waters, you know?  That’s how it starts.  You don’t even know it yet, but there you are, on the elliptical, or the treadmill or whatever, and you come up for air sorta.  You kinda shake your head from side to side and refocus on the digital numbers in front of you.  One is counting down, one is counting up.  You’re halfway to halfway there, and you’re so out of breath, and you keep going, pumping, pushing, and there’s no real reason to stop going, so you just keep going. 

The months pass like that.  Sure, from time to time, you get a little frustrated.  You ask yourself, why do I keep going to the gym?  But there’s no answer.  There isn’t even really a question.  It’s like shouting into the wind.  Your voice gets ripped away from you.  It might be a little tiny hiccup of doubt, but there’s a louder, gusting roar going on inside of you.  Something is building.  You start getting a little, oh, what’s the word, obsessed.  Old habits are shedding like dead skin.  It isn’t huge, not like those fantasy stories you read.  It’s a little bit at a time.  Little flickers of thought that lick their way into your head without your even really stopping to notice them.  It’s like seeing something move out of the corner of your eye as you whiz by on a freeway.  Was it real?  Was it really there?  There’s no way to go back and check to see if it was, because you’re hurtling forward, you’re moving so fast, there’s no way you can slam on the brakes.  You actually end up hitting the gas.  You lunge forward. 

You’re watching a game on TV.  Could be streaming it, could be at a bar, could be on your TV, whatever.  It’s gonna happen - sports is everywhere, you can’t really escape it.  It trends on Facebook.  You click the hashtag, the link, idly scroll through.  You don’t realize that you have been doing this for some time now, that you seem to continually expose yourself to sports.  You see logos of teams more often than you used to - are more people wearing sports swag, or are you just noticing it now? - but it doesn’t matter, it’s just sort of there, out of the corner of your eye.  You wouldn’t say that it’s an obsession, not really.  Not yet.  Well, maybe a little. 

And then there’s the whole world of the Internet spread out in front of you, a buffet of information.  You can choose what goes on your plate.  You look at your bookmarks and you’re genuinely surprised how many of them have the word Bodybuilding or Muscle or Nutrition in the titles.  You don’t remember bookmarking those, saving those links on Facebook.  There’s your watch list, on eBay, and you seem to be constantly getting notifications on your

- bling -

phone, because another tank-top or sleeveless t-shirt or basketball shorts is ending, and you just gotta cop that shit, you can see yourself wearing it, wearing it to the gym again in the not-too-distant future, and you honestly don’t know what to say when you get a package in the mail like, every day or some shit, and your roommate is like, yo, what the heck are all these packages you’re getting lately?  There’s no way to make up a story, and man, lying about it, coming up with something, just seems so hard, your brain is really fried from the last workout, and you just shrug and say “Gym clothes, bro” and oh my god you just flexed your arm in front of him.  It’s like time stands still, like everything is frozen, even you, and then you drop your arm and laugh a little, and he laughs too, and everything swells into a kaleidoscope of colors in front of your eyes, something like a spiral has been laid over everything you see.  “Gotta show off my gains, right?”  And it’s half-a-joke, half not-a-joke, and he shrugs too, and laughs easily, says something about how you’re a real meathead, and it’s half-a-joke, half not-a-joke.  And he’s telling you about this book he’s reading, and how he knows you’re gonna be super into it, because it’s meta-post something and

- bling -

Your phone is going off in your pocket, and you ignore it at first, you’re really trying to pay attention to your roommate, and you find yourself kinda nodding, and saying “yeah” a lot, but not really like, connecting, you know, to what he’s saying.  And your phone just keeps going off, and you’re going crazy with distraction, until finally he can tell you’re not paying attention and goes into his room and you dig out your phone and scramble to see what it is.

It’s a chat dialog.  Someone with a ridiculous name, actually, not even a name, a number.  Like they’re on a team or something, and a part of you is kind of intrigued.

And there’s a game on the TV, and you’re watching it, and you’re lifting a 15-pounder handweight while staring at the screen.  It’s not like you know why, but it kinda makes sense to be doing that.  There’s a mirror nearby too, and you keep looking at yourself, watching the muscle grow and move and shift underneath your skin.  And before you know it, you’re back at the gym.  And then you’re home again, mixing up your first protein shake that you got the protein from that supp center, that one that sells the tanks you see everyone at the gym wearing all the time.  You might get one of those one day, you think to yourself.  You should, it’s like repping, and you wanna rep your supp center, you want people to know where you get your supps.  Right?  Of course. 

When you think about it, it’s really kinda weird, it doesn’t make sense.  The day came, you said you were gonna start lifting, working out, going to the gym.  You told everyone.  You posted about it on Facebook.  You don’t remember that you did that, but you did, and you got all these likes, and people are all like, good for you, and how exciting, and keep it up.  Soon enough, that turns into wow, you look good and have you been working out and you’re flexing for people you know - at first, privately, secretly, just to show your friends your work - but then, more and more, in public.  You stretch your arms over your head when you’re tired, showing off your triceps.  Showing off your biceps.  You find excuses to stretch out where people can see.  You wear shorts even when it’s cold.  You want people to see your legs, your calves, your quads.  The day came, and you did it, you started doing it, you never looked back.  You can’t hit the brakes, you’re going too fast.  And sometimes you think about it, you think, why did I make this choice, why did my life change so radically and

- bling -

You look at your phone, and it could be anything.  Someone commenting on your most recent profile pic on Facebook, your friend #37 just chatting about his leg day at the gym, showing you pics of his quads, the teardrop and the outer sweep starting to really show through, it could be another item of gear ending on eBay that you just have to have.  What were you thinking about?  Something.  It’s hard to recall.  Must not have been that important.  What is important?  Well, it’s getting late in the evening.  Gotta get that protein.  Gotta get to bed.  Gotta rest up for the gym tomorrow.  Leg day, and you wanna be able to show #37 just how hard you worked because you want your own number someday, don’t you?  Sure you do.  It’ll come to you.  One of these days, you’ll just remember that you have a number in mind for yourself. 

And then the day comes - you look at the last selfie you took, the dumb one, the one of you with the blank eyes and the big fuckin muscles and well, yeah, you’re shirtless, you’re almost always shirtless at home now, and you’re pretending like you’re surprised, surprised that you got so big, surprised that all the hard work you did is paying off, surprised that you can’t remember your life before, and just for a second, something out of the corner of your eye flickers, and you almost turn your head to look at it, but then you press down on the gas, you leap forward, you lunge ahead, you pick up the weights, you grunt, you sweat, you grow.  And what, you ask yourself, is more satisfying than that?

The answer comes loudly, in a rush, like a crowd standing on its feet to cheer:  nothing.  Nothing is more satisfying than that.  And you answer yourself, you grunt to yourself, under your breath:

Fuck yeah.

title: Hints #3; Catnaps
fandom: miraculous ladybug
pairing: adrinette/ladynoir

words: 2k
summary: A quiet moment and a sleeping Adrien in the last place Ladybug expects him to be leads to a quiet contemplation and an unexpected conversation
notes: I feel like I’ve been so focused on how I WANT them to feel I’d become kinda disrespectful to how they ARE feeling, so I thought I’d make a fic that focuses more on Adrien’s feelings for Ladybug and her thoughts on him vs Chat Noir than … yeah.

Ladybug isn’t prepared for the sight that meets her when she arrives at her usual meeting place with Chat Noir.
He’s dubbed the tree their tree not so much because there’s any special story behind it but because in the early days of their partnership she’d usually find him here, catnapping, when he was ditching patrol.
“It’s no fun when I’m not assured there’ll be a fight,” she can almost hear him complain. “And catnaps have been my favourite activity since I was a child.”

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The Pirate Chef, ch.1  (1/8)

CS AU: When all her planned work for the upcoming special in the show she produces falls apart, Emma Swan is forced to work with the networks rising star. And she doesn’t think anything good will come out of it. 

It’s finally here! This has been a crazy ride, I tell you. It was meant to be a one-shot for @kat2609 on the ocassion on her birthday in late september and here we are now, 37k words later. I’ve been working on this one for months and I am incredibly excited of the outcome. 

Shotouts to @fairytalesandtimetravel for the amazing art cover (seriously look at it! please take a moment to appreciate the wonderful background she built for this and let her know!) and both @sambethe and @nowforruin that have been sounding boards, betas, translators when I ran out of words in my meager english lexicons and cheerleaders to no end. Thank you so much for the support.

ETA that this is also dedicated to @amagicalship and @brooke-to-broch (it would be nice to remember my mind someday!)

I really hope you like it this fic as much as I’ve loved seeing it through. If you want to be tagged in future chapters, let me know!

Ao3    FF.net

The Pirate Chef

It shouldn’t have come as a shock to Emma. They might be two renowned cooking stars, but both Granny and Auntie Em were first - and foremost - strong, passionate and fiercely protective of their families. That was why their on screen rivalry had been such a success throughout the years. Their cooking shows were #1 in their own countries, and they used them as platforms to issue challenges to one another from across the ocean. All of which culminated in a final showdown: their awaited annual trip in which the self-styled “Two Old Ladies” would tour one of the countries and attempt to out-cook one another.

It was set to be in England this year, where Auntie Em had taken up residence over a decade ago, leaving her native Kansas and embracing British cuisine. It all had been planned in advance: routines crafted, locations decided and a thorough schedule set up. Emma had worked on it for months - it was one of her responsibilities as the executive producer of the show and a member of Granny’s crew who would take part in the trip. It hadn’t been easy, as her counterpart from Em’s team - an erratic redhead named Zelena - had made her task quite difficult by withholding information.

That should have been Emma’s first red flag right there, but since she was aware of Zelena’s aloof behavior, she didn’t think much of it. None of them did.

Keep reading

BTS NOW 3 Interview : J-Hope

Where do you want to go right now?

I want to visit all places in the world. I have been to all continents but Africa, so I would like to visit Africa one day. 

What are you looking forward to the most right now?

I’m always looking forward to the future. I am curious about where I will be and what I will be doing.

What are your five greatest interests right now?

Making music, choreography, styling, action figures and interior design.

Keep reading

Q&A YouTuber Connor - Jonnor Fanfic

The Boyfriend Tag

The Smoothie Challenge

Connor and Jude were comfortably laying in Connor’s bed, binge-watching a show on Netflix, snuggled up, and getting tired as they finished up another episode. 

Connor checked his phone for the time, seeing it was pretty late. Jude yawned as Connor asked, “are you staying here tonight?" 

"What time is it?" 

"Almost two,” Connor stated. 

“Yeah I’ll stay." 

Then Connor realized he still had to film a video for his channel. "Shoot!” Connor exclaimed, making Jude flinch. “Sorry.. I forgot to make a video. I was supposed to do a Q&A earlier." 

"Can’t you do it tomorrow? It’s late.”

“We can just do a quick one. Please?” He begged. Because he knew Jude would cave. 

“Fine, but if I fall asleep, it’s your fault,” Jude warned, but a smile broke through. 

Connor closed Netflix and decided to just record from his laptop. He pulled up Twitter, and then minimized it to open the camera screen. He whispered a count down from three, and hit record. 

“Hey, what’s up guys, it’s Connor,” he said, lacking the usual enthusiasm from his regular videos. “And Jude.”

Jude smiled and waved, despite being tired. “Hey." 

"So, excuse the lighting, and the quality, it’s currently two in the morning and I figured a Q&A wouldn’t need the high quality set up. Also, as I said, it’s two in the morning, so we’ll see how this goes. It could get interesting. I asked you guys yesterday to ask us questions using the hashtag #AskJonnor on Twitter and Instagram, so we’re just going to be answering a few of your guy’s questions." 

"And sorry in advance for any of my answers,” Jude said. 

“Why?” Connor asked as he returned to the Twitter page. 

“You always say I’m mean when I’m tired." 

"Oh yeah. Well I’m sure they’re used to your sass by now, babe. Oh, and I’m not gonna edit this, because I’m too lazy, so bare with us.” He scrolled through the hashtag, finding something to start with. 

“This could’ve been a live stream then,” Jude said. 

Connor shrugged. “Okay here’s one. What’s your favorite memory together?”

“Can I just say all of them?" 

"Yeah but pick something specific.”

“What’s yours?” Jude asked, laying back down on Connor. 

“Getting lost in LA when we first moved here. We kind of ended up just touring the city all day, and we had a really good time,” Connor answered. 

“That’s your favorite?” Jude looked up at him as best he could while still laying down. 


“I like that." 

Connor smiled to himself as he continued scrolling through Twitter. He passed Jude his phone, "here, you can check the hashtag on my Instagram.”

Jude took it, typed in the four digit passcode and opened Instagram. “There’s some pretty weird stuff on here,” he mused. 

“Oh, you should see some of these questions…” Connor laughed. 

“Show me.” Jude sat up slightly, and Connor pointed out a few. 

“Here’s a normal one: Please tell us the story of your first kiss, love you guys!” He read. “Well thanks, we love you too. Um, okay well then there’s kind of two stories. Jude, you tell the tent one." 

"Okay, so in seventh grade, our class went camping, and at the time, our friendship was kind of awkward and distanced because of his dad-”

Connor interrupted, “I have a whole video about my relationship with my parents. Basically, he tried to prevent us from being friends by banning sleep overs because he thought Jude was gay." 

"Right. And to be fair, it was true, but I was still… Like figuring that out I guess. So anyway, on this camping trip, his dad told Connor that we weren’t allowed to share a tent, but guess what? Us being the rebellious children we were, decided to share a tent anyway. My mom was the vice principal and she was on the trip with us as one of the chaperones. So after bed check, we pretty much just stayed up talking, and Connor brought up a time where we played spin the bottle with two girls from our class. When it was Connor’s turn, it landed on me, and we almost kissed, but my sister walked in and practically terrified us. So anyway, he was talking about how he was curious about, if we actually did kiss, and then I don’t even know how it happened, but he kissed me. It was literally less than a second, but we were pretty freaked out and agreed to keep it a secret." 

"And then Jude told his moms like five minutes later,” Connor added. 

“Okay, it was a few days later, and only because I thought your dad… You know…” Jude defended. 

“I know, I know, I’m just kidding. So the second story was like, our first real kiss I guess. And by that, I mean kiss that wasn’t a terrified one second peck.”

Jude snorted. “Oh, the four second ‘Jude shut up,’ kiss?" 

"Yes, that one.” Connor looked back at the camera to explain, “Jude was mad at me for sending mixed signals and basically, mid speech, I kissed him to both, shut him up, and kind of prove that I did have real feelings for him." 

Jude opened his mouth to object, but quickly rethought his words. "Yeah which was kinda more confusing because the next day… Daria…”

“Okay let’s not rehash our relationship from when we were thirteen,” Connor laughed. 

“Sorry, yeah just feel free to shut me up. I don’t want you to get hate comments,” Jude said. 

“Oh yeah, all the 'oh my gosh, Connor’s a terrible boyfriend,’ comments. Those sound great,” Connor said sarcastically. 

“Guys, we were thirteen, just remember that. Connor’s the best boyfriend, I promise." 

"Jude’s better,” Connor fake-whispered. 

Jude hitched the blankets up higher and got more comfortable. “Okay, next question. And we’ll try to keep the answers short." 

Connor scrolled through more strange questions, and unrelated things. "Did you find anything on Instagram?" 

"Not really. A lot of random fan things." 

"Have either of you ever dated girls?” Connor read. “Um, before dating Jude, I dated a girl for a few weeks. It didn’t even really count though." 

"And I never have,” Jude answered. 

“Here’s a random one… Do you trust each other to cut each other’s hair?" 

"Um… No? I don’t trust anyone who’s not a certified hair dresser,” Jude said quickly. 

“Yeah, I don’t even trust myself with scissors,” Connor admitted. 

“For good reason. I found one on Instagram. @OfficialConnorStevens you and Jude have a really good relationship, so I was wondering if you guys ever had an actual break up before? Love you!” Jude read. 

“Thank you, I love you more! Um, yeah, again, we started dating at the age of thirteen, so of course there were small things back then. But anything serious? Yes.. I actually have a video from about a year ago where I told you guys that Jude and I broke up. I left it vague, and didn’t go into detail about the situation, but that lasted about a month. I think the video was titled 'my breakup,’ but of course, we’re still together, and everything is perfectly fine." 

"And no, we’re not going to go into detail now either. Can I answer this next one?” Jude asked. 

“Go for it,” Connor smiled. 

“Do you guys have any funny inside jokes? If so, tell us. Okay, we have a really old one.” Jude cleared his throat dramatically and Connor prepared for what Jude would say. “I’m not gay, but my boyfriend is!" 

Connor burst out laughing, just glad that it wasn’t something totally embarrassing. "Oh wow. Okay, before Jude was out, he kinda had a denial phase, not wanting to label himself, so I bought a shirt that said 'I’m not gay, but my boyfriend is,’ as a joke. He hated it, but now it’s just kind of an inside joke.”

“We have a lot more too, but I can’t think right now, and I’m sure most aren’t appropriate anyway,” Jude added. 

“And I’m not editing this. Also, can you sit up for a sec?" 

Jude sat up and Connor moved his arm, which had long since gone numb. The pins and needles feeling soon replaced the numbness as it regained feeling. "Okay, I’m going to look at the comments on our last video together for the next question.” He rested his arm and Jude curled up to him again. 

“How many more questions are we doing? I’m tired." 

Connor opened YouTube in another tab and scrolled to their last video, then looked at the comments. "A few more. Don’t fall asleep.”

“No promises." 

"Top comment with three hundred likes, is, Jude should get a channel!”

“Guys, we basically share this channel,” Jude said. 

“Well yeah, I mean you’re in like, ninety five percent of my videos, so there wouldn’t be much point in us both having one,” Connor continued. 

“Yeah. And I’m not nearly as dedicated or patient, so my channel would be pretty dead. But I do appreciate your guy’s support and I love you guys too." 

"There aren’t many questions on YouTube so let’s go back to Twitter.” Connor closed YouTube and found more on Twitter. “Connor, why’d you start YouTube? I’ve talked about this many times on my channel, but basically it started in high school as an outlet. I had an unsteady home life, and my relationship with my parents wasn’t the greatest, so YouTube was an escape, and it just sorta stuck." 

Jude grabbed Connor’s phone again to check Instagram. "Can I open DM’s?”


“Okay, this one is, what are your future plans? Do you want kids, pets, etcetera?" 

"I don’t think we’ve planned that far ahead, to be honest, but currently we’re both in college, um, kids? I think someday maybe.” Connor looked at Jude for his answer. 

“Yeah someday. And we’ve talked about getting a dog,” Jude said. 

“This one on Twitter says: have either of you ever considered proposing?” Connor asked. 

“I think we’re kinda young to think about proposing, but it’s definitely something for the future,” Jude answered. 

“This next question is funny, it’s: Hi, I’m not trying to be rude, but are you gay? No offence.” Connor blinked slowly a few times, trying not to laugh, but they both burst into laughter. “Um, hey, you must be new to my channel.”

“I’m not gay, but my boyfriend is,” Jude blurted, laughing. “But yeah, we are, to answer your question." 

"Duh. Okay next one, also from Twitter, You and Jude seem to always be together, but you sometimes talk about 'Jude’s house.’ Do you guys live together?”

“No,” Jude said simply. 

“Well… We might as well. Okay, so we both live in different apartment buildings, but they’re a five minute walk away. Jude doesn’t like his apartment, and he’s practically always here,” Connor explained further. 

“My apartment is fine, honestly, but I usually just end up staying here.”

“Sometimes vice-versa though. Just depends. Like tonight, Jude’s staying here because we binge-watched a show on Netflix and now it’s late.”

“Speaking of late, are we done?” Jude asked. 

“Almost, almost. And, you guys will be the first to know, that we are looking to get a place together. So next question: Do we have nicknames for each other?” Connor asked. 

“I call you Con, but so does everyone. You call me Judicorn, but that was a nickname my sister came up with when I was twelve. It just stuck.” Jude finished his sentence through a yawn, getting even more tired. 

“And the last question we’ll answer is, What’s your weirdest fan experience, and do either of you ever get recognized in public? Uh, weirdest fan experience… I don’t really think I’ve had any weird fan experiences,” Connor admitted, trying to recall anything specific. 

“You had someone follow you from the mall, didn’t you?” Jude asked. 

“Oh! Yeah, someone followed me home and asked for a picture. That was probably the weirdest. But yes, we do sometimes get recognized. Jude finds it really weird.”

“Cause we’re not famous. Also, I get shy about it though,” Jude said. 

“So guys, next week, Jude and I are going back home to San Diego, to spend time with family, so I’ll be vlogging that, and we’ll try to film some challenges or tags. Leave suggestions in the comments! We’re tired, so I think it’s time to sleep. Sorry if this video was boring, it was kind of last minute, but I love you guys, and I’ll see you all next week. Goodnight!” They both waved, and Connor turned the camera off. 

Ons Light Novel 1(Vampire Michaela’s Story) Chapter 1

Title: Yuu and Mika

Disclaimer: This is a fan-made translation from Japanese raws! Please go easy and enlighten us on any mistakes or deviations from the original light novel. All credit goes to the original author and illustrators. - Hyaka and Kuro Shion

Note: One half of this chapter has already been translated at http://amethystcria.tumblr.com/post/135475350034/the-story-of-vampire-michaela-vol-1-chapter-1 Please support the relevant translator as well!


In the city of the vampires, we are livestock again today.

Every day, we only have our blood sucked.

Watching the machine for drawing blood prick his neck, Hyakuya Michaela grimaced.

The needle entered, and with a little pain, it began to draw blood with a ‘gyaru gyaru’ sound.

“Ku…… Hah.”

He could feel the source of life being extracted from within him. His head was dizzy, and his body felt weak. Resisting this weakness, Michaela spoke to his family member next to him who, as usual, had to be forced to donate blood.

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kuuxkat  asked:

So everyone under the sun is either obsessed with 1)Third Year Angst, 2) Idol Serious Business 3) Aqours Finally Getting it. But what about Chika? I mean - this isn't the first time she had frozen up after things had gone wrong. Yes - she tried her best to get her act together as a leader, but she should be aware that it isn't enough. I mean - even You was waiting patiently for her to just let it out. She isn't really quite leader material yet. How do you see her developing?

The short answer: Chika definitely has leadership qualities. Her issue is that she’s trying to force herself to grow too quickly; ironically, this is exactly what’s hindering her development. In order to become the leader of a school idol group, Chika needs to learn how to trust her friends. Once Chika learns this, she’ll have a much better grasp of the group dynamics and can properly advance as the leader of Aqours.

As for the long answer: we’ll need to analyze not just one, but two former leaders in order to do this. Say hello to our old pal, the read-more cut.

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Without darkness, there can be no light; a Castle fanfic.

8x22 PostEp for Crossfire. 

She slides back into the world in fits and starts; the sensation of a bright light, the murmur of voices. Sometimes they’re calling to her, the whisper of her name, pleading and solemn, other times it’s merely background noise, disjointed and impossible to decipher amid the fog that she knows is the result of painkillers.

Kate doesn’t count how many times she rises to the surface from sleep, dreams that she knows are dark and terrifying from the tightness in her chest and the short, gasping breaths she takes. The pain is there, too, muted but insistent where it radiates from her shoulder and abdomen, and while it hurts, while she will surely be in for months of recovery and therapy, this pain is nothing to those moments after the bullet to the chest.

When she’s not focused on the pain, she thinks of Rick, her mind skittering through whatever prayer or wish she can manage for his safety, his life before she’s pulled back in the depths.

“Kate, can you hear me?”

For the first time in what she thinks might be days, she’s lifted from her dreams without the haze of drugs. Her eyes open slowly, taking in the white walls of a hospital room, the space dotted with a burst of color from flowers, cards, and some other assortment of get well gifts.

At her back, Kate can feel the warmth of sunshine, the light filtering in through the curtains that she wonders are drawn as much for privacy as to keep away the glare of afternoon sun. To her side is her husband, face pale and shadows under his eyes, broad shoulders draped with a hospital gown and the lumpy edge of a bandage showing under the fabric covering his right shoulder.

“Hi, beautiful,” Castle whispers it, bending his head down to press his lips to the back of her hand. He’s holding it tightly within his, looking for all the world like he wants to crawl up onto the bed with her and never let go.

It’s a sentiment she shares, because if not for the throb of pain in her side and the stiffness in her left shoulder, Kate would certainly be hopping out of the bed and curled up against the broad comforting warmth that is Rick Castle.

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anonymous asked:

Sorry if someone already asked this, but how did Rose help Cullen with his lyrium addiction? Was it like a slow step by step process? I'm not a fan of those stories where someone's addiction is cured after they meet that special someone. You know?

I am not a fan of those narratives, either. In fact, having some familial experience with this subject, I find them downright harmful. It’s actually one of those DAI-fill-in-the-blanks I really want to fic someday, because I think it’s deserving of some careful attention.

But until then, let’s have a little story, yeah?


Now that she knows what to look for, Rose is troubled to have been so blind for so long. She speaks a quiet word to Josephine, who immediately concocts vital business that will keep the Inquisitor in Skyhold for at least a fortnight. Perhaps a month. When Josephine announces this at the next Council meeting, Cullen hardly acknowledges it, even though such vital business usually requires numerous state dinners and more meetings than usual, and has always elicited at least a scowl before. When Rose asks if he has business to bring up, he raises his eyes and the strain in them takes her aback.

“Not at present,” he says, the roughness of his accent stronger. He glances over her shoulder toward the door, so swiftly she thinks him unaware of it.

“All right,” she says with forced cheer. “Same time tomorrow, then.”

Cullen doesn’t grimace, doesn’t complain, doesn’t acknowledge the unnecessary waste of time. He offers her the brisk nod that serves as a salute, and leaves without looking back.

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VARIETY | ‘Outlander’ Season 3 Preview: Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan Tease What’s Ahead for Claire and Jamie
By Laura Prudom

Season 2 of “Outlander” began with a disoriented Claire Fraser (Caitriona Balfe) returning through the standing stones at Craigh na Dun, alone and pregnant, to reluctantly reunite with her first husband, Frank (Tobias Menzies) in 1948. In the premiere, we saw Claire and Frank negotiating how they might raise a child together, with their relationship irrevocably strained by the events of Claire’s absence and the man she fell in love with during that time away.

Sunday’s finale, titled “Dragonfly in Amber,” showed us the harrowing moments leading up to that reunion, as Claire’s second husband, Jamie (Sam Heughan) convinced her to return to her own time in order to protect her and their unborn child, since he believed that he was destined to die with his men at the Battle of Culloden.

That seemed like the end of Claire and Jamie’s story (although fans of Diana Gabaldon’s novels already knew that there’s plenty more of this tale to be told, with eight books currently published and more to come — not to mention the fact that the show was already renewed for season 3 and season 4), until Claire discovered that Jamie survived both Culloden and the execution of Jacobite soldiers that followed the battle, meaning that there was a chance they could still reunite if she went back through the stones — albeit after 20 years apart.

Given the number of books in Gabaldon’s series (and the fact that viewers would probably riot if Sam Heughan suddenly disappeared from the show), it’s not much of a spoiler to say that Claire and Jamie will someday find each other again. “There’s a lot of challenges to season 3 — there’s a period of time where Jamie and Claire are apart; he thinks that he’s lost her, or at least that she’s alive and well but in the future, so what is he living for? What sort of man is he now?” Heughan observes. “She will eventually return, but they’re both older, so what is Jamie, who is the man he’s become” in the time since they last saw each other?

Those questions — “who is Jamie without Claire, why is he still surviving, what has he got to live for when he’s lost the woman that he loves” — will be central to the character in season 3, according to Heughan.

And therein lies both the tragedy and romance at the heart of the “Outlander” series, which, despite its genre-bending sensibilities, incisively explores the sometimes harsh realities of a lasting relationship, with all the triumphs, complications, joys and heartbreaks that go along with it. When they find their way back together after decades spent separated, Claire and Jamie will have to relearn what it means to be a couple, something that Balfe admits she’s eagerly anticipating in season 3.

“I think what’s going to be most exciting is the reunion between Claire and Jamie and them discovering each other again and falling in love all over again,” she tells Variety. “I think both of them have probably held each other up on a pedestal for 20 years, so in many ways, they’re going to have to destroy that image first before they can fall in love with the person right in front of them, and that’s going to be really interesting. I love the complexity of that, because you can’t be in love with a ghost, and Claire is in many ways in love with Jamie’s ghost, as Jamie is in love with her ghost, and that’s not the people they are when they see each other again.”

The season 2 finale may have jumped ahead in time to introduce us to Claire and Jamie’s daughter, Brianna, on the cusp of adulthood, but we still have 20 years of lost time to revisit, and the show isn’t likely to skip over all of it, especially since those life experiences will inevitably have shaped who Claire and Jamie are now that they’re middle-aged.

“What I’m so excited about as well next season is we’ll see, hopefully, some of her progression as a mother,” Balfe says. “So even though we’ve jumped forward in episode 13 [to see Claire] at 50, hopefully we’ll see some of that journey between late 20s and 50.”

While the actors had yet to read scripts for season 3 when they spoke to Variety before the finale aired, Gabaldon’s “Voyager” gives us some hints as to what we might see in the new season, including a final showdown between Jamie and Menzies’ Black Jack Randall, who was destined to die on Culloden Moor.

“If you’ve read the books you will know that Randall will appear again,” Heughan teases. “I know that Diana has written the scene of how they ended up [back together], so hopefully – and who knows, I haven’t read the script yet, but hopefully, we’ll get to see Jamie and Randall in the Battle of Culloden.”

We’re also likely to see Frank again, to give viewers a sense of the realities of his relationship with Claire. We know from some of Brianna’s comments in the finale that her parents’ marriage wasn’t particularly idyllic in its later years, and Menzies confirms that the tentative plan is for season 3 to explore the couple’s dynamic following the move to Boston, including “the disintegration of their marriage out there… it’s slightly ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf’ in Boston, which hopefully will be really exciting stuff to dig into.”

Balfe agrees, “The relationship between Claire and Frank is so rich and complex, I’m really looking forward to that.”

After the political intrigue of this season, Heughan says season 3 “feels like a very new chapter,” with trips to tropical climates that are far removed from the chill of Scotland. “There’s a lot of travel involved, and I think that’s the joy of the show — it’s never the same thing, it’s constantly moving, so next season should be quite an adventure.”