i will tear you to shreds

His Pride and Joy

Word count: 811

Disclaimer: I’m broke, don’t own IT or any of Stephen King’s novels, don’t sue me!

Pairing: platonic Pennywise x child reader

Warning: Fluff and daddy Pennywise(not in that way ya nasties)

A/N: This was requested by @fandomnationwhore 

“Could you do one where Pennywise adopts the reader as his kid because she doesn’t judge him or is scared of him maybe she has a disorder which makes her attracted to blood or something”- hope you enjoy darlings!~




Humans.

 Disgusting flesh bags with a knack for destroying everything that came into contact with them, but the one good thing and the most delicious quality about them was their persistence and their fear.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I've always been very conflicted on obvious closets. And I don't think it can be resolved. I'm going to take Taylor Swift as an example because she profits off of it. She dated for publicity. She's been busted more or less publicly for her flings with women. And she's now become more obvious in her hints. But she's (literally) playing both sides. Wanting to keep everyone happy (and paying. A lot) without a care that she encourages the fandom to tear itself to shreds. (1/2)

(2/3) It’s one’s choice to stay hidden. For privacy, because you don’t want to be a poster child, any reason. I respect that. I agree with it. I support it. But. When you ask me to nod and pretend to believe your badly (on purpose) faked stories and BUY them literally… I have trouble with it. It seems like you’re insulting my intelligence. Or asking me “yeah I know you know I know you know. But wink wink nudge nudge, give me your money.”

(3/3) As a person who takes care of lgbt teens that can SEE that are are even more confused by the mixed messages it sends (you should be proud in theory but you should hide it for realsies), I have a big problem with that.

This is really well stated, thank you. And there’s a lot here to talk about so forgive me if this gets long.

I should preface by saying I see Taylor Swift and Harry VERY differently and a lot of that has to do with the level of control she’s had for a very long time (in a way that I don’t believe he has). It’s also no secret that I don’t like TS AT ALL. I think she’s the worst of the White Feminists™ and could be making different statements with her music even if she doesn’t take a political stand (although I also think she should). I am also not a Taylor Swift expert, so keep that in mind, I make no claims that I am. Everything I will say is my perception and not based in the same level of depth I have about One Direction.

I think the most important thing you said is that you’re conflicted and don’t know that it can be resolved. That’s how I feel A LOT. I’d love for our society to exist in such a way that we didn’t have heteronormativity. Where people aren’t considered straight-until-proven-otherwise. Where people are not assaulted and killed for being out. Where careers are not killed because artists aren’t straight. But that’s not where we live.

I started to compare my feelings about Taylor’s closet vs. Harry’s and I really don’t like doing that. I don’t like the level of judgement that seems to come out of it. So, I’m going to talk about what they’re asking me to buy:

I feel like Taylor has sold her relationships both for records and for tabloids since she was a teen (and that in and of itself makes me REALLY sad, that that was sold to her as necessary). She implies heavily (possibly outright states, I don’t know) that her songs are ABOUT the relationships that we’ve read about. So, that feels more deceptive to me? And it’s CONSTANT.

Harry, on the other hand, doesn’t pretend that the songs are about the beards in any way. They’re all 3 month stints or less. It’s more about a general straight image than about connecting beards to songs. The media makes his songs about Taylor, but I think that’s far more about her really than about him.

I totally see your point about mixed messages and that part makes me sad. Again, I go back to the society that I wish vs. the one we have. And I also think what Harry/Louis are doing is very different than what Taylor is doing.

emptysurface  asked:

85. "I will never apologize for saving your life, even if it costs me my own." With Harry and Reborn. Preferably with Harry saying this^ line here ;D (let the ANGST flow through you~)

Oh god. I can’t.

The Angst would be too much!


“That’s now how video games work,” Reborn says, somewhat resigned. 

The nymph that had attached itself to him seemed to regard the video game with the same gravity she would with assassination attempts on his person. 

It would be irritating if it also wasn’t endearing.

Her bright green eyes, glowing inhumanly, seem to fill with tears. “I did wrong? Hyacinth is a bad nymph?”

His innards cringe. Oh god. Crying females are bad enough, crying nymphs are worse.

“Hyacinth, that’s…you’re supposed to kill the enemy first before saving me,” he explains with some shred of hope. 

Her bark-brown skin ripple as she thinks this over. On the screen, the words “Game Over” flash insistently.

This is supposed to be down time. Teaching a nymph battle tactics is harder than it looks.

“So, Vengeance!” she cries out, the light of epiphany making her face shine with glee. “Vengeance against those who hurt you. Okay, I understand.”

He wants to slap a hand to his face. Knowing her, he’d probably find that applied to their daily life too. Which would be useful, if Hyacinth knew to distinguish from emotional pain and physical pain.

“Shall we play again, Reborn?” she asks eagerly. “I’ll not sacrifice myself anymore.”

He can’t seem to help the smile that comes to his face. If his colleagues see him, they’d probably have an aneurysm.

“Alright. No sacrificing,” he agrees.


Headcanons:

-Reborn comes across a hyacinth tree about to be chopped down. He accidentally saves the nymph living in it.

-The nymph is in love with him and tells him.

-He thinks she means the platonic sense.

-After about a year of her waiting for him to make a move, she takes matters into her own hands and ‘nymph-marries’ him.

-He has no clue.

-No really. He thinks kisses on the mouth are her greetings.

-He thinks the flowers he finds in his hair sometimes are just her being careless.

-Not that she’s being possessive.

-Everyone (the Arcobaleno) knows. Except Reborn.


I tried Angst. I tried. It didn’t work.

I’ll write more in this verse later, it’s hilarious.

anonymous asked:

(@Connor and friends) [Continuation of movie] Butterfly Mewman: But you can't go to the main core! The dark energy will rip you to shreds once it implodes! You should evacuate-- Semi-organic Droid: I will not let my planet be destroyed and leave my people to be stranded in space. Someone has to restore the core. B.Mewman: But... I love you. S.O.D: Then my sacrfice will be your proof that I can feel it.

Nova; noooo *tears running down her face* Don’t do it!

Missy: *blowing her nose* Why must heroes die?!

Connor:…(wipes at his eyes)

Jack: (Eating popcorn) I am so glad i funded the arts. 

2

“I still get a lump in my throat when her dress is torn off and she runs out in the garden. Marc [Davis] always thought that was throwing her to the hounds, so to speak, to have the stepsisters rip her to shreds was more than was needed. The fact that she’s not going to get to the ball was enough. You didn’t need to tear her [dead mother’s] dress, but the sequence is beautifully structured. It gets to you.” -Frank Thomas

Okay, okay, okay, but I CANNOT get this AU idea out of my head:

Castiel, as a Reaper instead of an Angel.

Castiel, meeting Dean for the first time when Dean is four years old, standing in front of his burning home with the flames reflecting in the tear tracks on his face. Castiel revealing himself to Dean, gently prompting Dean to mind Sammy’s head as the infant cries and squirms, because he really doesn’t want to reap more than one soul tonight. Laying a sorrowful, sheltering hand on Dean’s head and staring down into pleading green eyes and whispering, “I’m sorry,” before walking slowly up the burning porch to reap Mary Winchester’s soul (who refuses to go with him anyways).

Castiel, as the Reaper who appears to Dean after the car accident while Dean is in a coma, shocked when Dean remembers him from that night so many years ago. Dean jokingly asking, “Are my guardian angel or something?” and Castiel sadly telling him, “No. Rather the opposite, I’m afraid,” and having to explain to Dean about the existence of Reapers. Castiel wishing to himself that he didn’t have to reap this vibrant young man, who is brave and frustrating and stubborn and obviously so full of life, and then realizing he should be careful about what he wishes for, because Dean is spared but Castiel is forced to reap Dean’s father instead, and he hates that he’s causing Dean more pain.

Castiel, meeting Dean again less than a year later. And then meeting him again. And again. And again, as Dean and Sam work the Trickster case, and Dean dies every day. They get to know each other pretty well, and it becomes something of a running joke: “We’ve got to stop meeting this way, Cas,” Dean teases, and each day Dean bemoans the ridiculous new way that he’s just been killed, and Castiel commiserates sympathetically and helpfully points out that at least Dean didn’t pee himself this time. And he hates that Dean has to die every day, but he hates himself even more because he can’t help dreading the day they catch the Trickster and it all stops, because then he won’t have an excuse to keep seeing Dean and listen to his laugh and hear about his favorite bands and watch the fond way he looks at his brother.

Castiel, appearing when Sam is stabbed by Jake, sick to death with the thought of reaping the soul from Dean’s brother. He doesn’t reveal himself to Dean in the real world this time, even though he could, because he can’t bear to have Dean turn those stricken green eyes on him, he’s a coward, a coward, a coward - but it doesn’t stop Dean, kneeling in the dirt and clutching the lifeless body of his brother tight in his arms, from screaming out, “I know you’re out there, Cas! Don’t you dare take him! I’ll never forgive you!” And he thinks it’s a cruel, cruel joke that he’s destined to continually reap the souls of the people Dean loves most, one by one, and when Castiel leads away the soul of Sam Winchester, there are tears on both their faces as they tell Dean ‘goodbye’, even though he can’t hear them.

Castiel, being summoned one year later, unsure of what’s happening, suddenly finding himself staring down at Dean’s shredded body on the floor at his feet - but Dean’s soul is still here, obstinate and unyielding, circled by snapping hellhounds but refusing to let them drag him away because “I said I’d go to Hell and I will, but I don’t need hand-fucking-delivered by these fleabags, I’ll take my own way there, goddammit! I’m allowed a Reaper! Bring Castiel the Reaper!” And Castiel raises his eyes and meets Dean’s gaze, and it’s gentle, and resigned, and frightened, and forgiving, and Castiel doesn’t deserve it, he’s never deserved anything less than the understanding in those eyes, and he’d rather be anywhere else, he’d rather be dead himself, than here to take away Dean’s soul to Hell. But he does his job and he leads Dean to the gates of Hell, except then he can’t go, he can’t leave Dean here, he can’t - until Dean kisses him, sudden and fleeting, and tells him, “It’s okay, Cas,” and pushes him away.

Castiel, blindly turning away for only the briefest span of time - the blink of an eye, the pulse of a human heartbeat - before he realizes he can’t do this. Screw the job, screw the deals, and screw the laws of nature, he will not leave Dean here…except when he turns around, Dean is already gone. 

Castiel, spending the next forty years breaking into Hell, laying waste to horde after horde of demons with the fatal touch of his ghastly true form. The memory of Dean’s kiss burns a brand against his lips, and when he finally, finally finds Dean, the touch of Castiel’s spectral hand burns its own brand on Dean’s soul as he grips him tight - the touch of death claiming a soul already dead, because Dean is his. Dean looking up at Castiel, and his soul is messy and tortured and broken, but he still manages a smile as he chokes out: “See? Told ya you were my guardian angel,” and Castiel carries Dean’s soul out of Hell and chooses life.

Sigils and How to Use Them:  -  (A Master Post)

This post isn’t about creating sigils but, rather what they are and how to use them to their fullest potential. A Sigil is a symbol, but not just any ordinary symbol. They are sigils that are created with intention, will, and magic. They are vessels that carry your intentions- a means of making them manifest. There are three very distinct views on this matter: Instant, Passive, and Active.I personally believe all are correct. However, one method may be more suitable for certain Sigils than the others.

Please note:

 It is very important that, while you are drawing the Sigil, you are present and mindfully putting the right intention into it. 

If you are totally new, here are some examples of some Sigils that I have made:
~~~Sigils~~~
~~~How I Make my Sigils~~~
~~~Sigil Chains~~~

Sigil Activation:

Sigils are activated upon creation but can be further powered using any of the following three methods. If you have a book made specifically for Sigils, (especially if you create or keep Sigils for cursing) be sure to create or draw Sigils on the front and back covers that will cancel the effects of all other sigils within the book. 

Instant Sigils:

This method is a One-Shot-Johnny. It is the strongest in terms of manifestation. However, the effects are very short-lived. This method involves destroying the Sigil. Once the Sigil is destroyed its power is at 150% but decreases back to 0% at an exponential rate. Depending on the caster, it could last up to two days. 
I use this method to amplify my spells and intentions. 

Here’s how it works:

Take a Sigil, let’s say one for empowering intentions, and draw it onto a piece of paper. 
Charge the Sigil. You can do this is sooooooo many ways. ‘pray’ to it, masturbate to it, set crystals on it, leave it in the moonlight, etc.
Then, once you have set your spell and have started the ritual, burn the Sigil. You are not limited in how you can destroy the Sigil! You can burn, tear, shred, melt, smudge, or soak them (If drawn in water-based ink). The effects will be manifest immediately. 


Passive Sigils:

In this form of Sigilwork, Sigils will only manifest while they aren’t remembered. The moment that they are remembered, they lose their effect, or it becomes very weak.  

Here’s how it works:

Take a Sigil, let’s say one for positivity, and draw it on a piece of paper.
Then charge the Sigil. 
Then, place the Sigil in a place which no one will find or see it, not even yourself.
The Sigil will really start working its magic once you have entirely forgotten about it. 

Active Sigils:

Active sigils are powered by remembering them and feeding them intention.
 
Here’s how it works:

Take a Sigil, let’s say one for protection from negative energy, and draw it on your skin, a piece of paper, or a miscellaneous object you keep on you. Then you would rub or ‘pray’ to the Sigil whenever you needed it, pouring the intention of protection into it as you did so. This strengthens the Sigil and causes a more direct manifestation at the same time. You can charge these Sigils the same as Passive Sigils.


Sigils in Spellcraft:

As I had mentioned above, I use sigils to amplify my focus or intentions. 
There are other ways to use them in spells. You could even make a spell entirely from Sigils. 

Here are some examples of some smaller spells that involve Sigils:
A Raven’s Breath
Snap Magic

In larger spells, you can create Spell Circles- or incorporate Sigils into Sacred Circles. Below is an example of a Spell Circle.


In the center of the circle is the Sigil that acts as the root for the entire spell. This Sigil is basically like the subject of a sentence. Whereas the symbols on the ring of the circle are the actions. 

You can create Spell Circles of your own!
Step 1: Draw a circle
Step 2: Draw a Sigil inside that circle.
Step 3: Write the specified implementation of said Sigil around the perimeter of that circle. The language doesn’t matter- as long as it boosts your headspace.
(I created my own language/cipher/cryptograph for my GreyGrimoire so that peering eyes wouldn’t be able to read it.)
Step 4: Create the rest of the spell around the Spell Circle. (Whether you’re making a spell bottle, or enchanting and Item or casting a curse. Just gather your materials and build correspondences.)
Step 5: Cast that mamma jamma!

I have made a Masterpost about Spell Circles and you can find it HERE.

If you have any further questions, don’t hesitate to ask me or another blog! Remember, everyone’s craft is different- These are beliefs from my craft. Though, I try to be as respectful as possible to other crafts.  

You’ll always have a home- Jughead Jones

Pairing: Jughead Jones x Reader

Warnings: Angst, kissing, like a makeout kinda part? Is that even a warning?

Description: Jughead seemed off lately, with Jason’s death, and the drive-min closing, reader can tell something is off, but cant really pinpoint what

—————————————————————

The first time I could tell something was off was when I mentioned the coffeemaker. It was funny how something as simple as the mention of a coffee pot was the spark of my curiosity towards the situation.
“I swear to god, you drink so much coffee, I’m just going to get you a pot for your birthday so you can save some money.” And there it was, the slight twitch in his shoulders and the split second of a tense look on his face before he began laughing along. It was so quick, I was surprised I even caught it, but I did.
 I never asked about Jughead’s home life. He always steered clear of it so I figured it was a touchy subject. I wondered why I hadn’t been invited over in… well…. ever. Then I started putting together the bits and pieces of information and realized: I hadn’t a clue what roof Jughead was sleeping under at night.
Obviously, it was time to investigate.
And I had the perfect opportunity one afternoon.
“Shit, I forgot my textbook at home.” Jughead muttered, his head ducked down and searching in his schoolbag.
“We can walk to your house and get it if you want.” There it was, the tense-up. Jughead froze in his tracks for a split second before regaining his composure and kept walking. To anybody else, it would have looked normal, but I wasn’t anyone else. I was his best friend, and he was the boy I was in love with.
“No, it’s fine. I can just use yours, right?” Jughead looked at me with almost pleading eyes, and I didn’t want to egg him on any longer. I wanted him to open up and tell me the truth, not shut me out.
“Yeah, of course.” I smiled up at my friend and he smiled back reassuringly. Deep down, I knew something was wrong.
And a week later, I began to confirm those suspicions.
“Can you believe they’re shutting down the drive-in?!” Jughead screeched at me one morning as I walked up the front steps of our school.
“Wait, what?” I gave him a confused look.
“Yeah! Apparently an “anonymous buyer” gave the mayor an offer she just couldn’t refuse” Jughead through his hands up in dramatic sarcasm before scoffing and folding them over his chest angrily.
“Juggie, I’m sorry you’re going to lose your job, but- “
“it’s more than just my job, y/n!” Jughead paused for a second. I watched his Addams apple move quickly as he gulped down words that were threatening to pour out of his mouth. “It’s, it’s, it’s a special place! It’s special to us! I took you there when you first moved here! Remember?!”
“Yeah.” I laughed, thinking back to the memories of Jug and I sneaking up to the film roll room and watching through the peek hole while Jughead made sure the tapes were switched out on time.
“hello?! Earth to y/n?” Jughead waved his face in front of me, and I brought myself out of my quick trip to the past, listening to Jugheads rambling about the drive- in.
Jughead brought it up later to our friends as we ate at pop’s, inviting Veronica, Kevin, Betty and I to the last drive in on Friday. Of course, they all agreed to go, and we all planned who we would drive with. I decided to walk with Jughead, and Kevin was taking Veronica. Betty was going to go with Archie.
“I’m going to go to the mayor again and see if I can convince her to keep the drive- in.” Jughead told me as we began to part ways that night. I grabbed his sleeve, pulling me back to him.
“Jughead, why is the Twilight drive-in so important to save?” I asked him, my voice soft and full of concern.
“It’s my job, y/n! I thought that might be an important thing to try and save!” Jughead’s words dripped with sarcasm as he yelled at me. He never usually got angry like this.
“Ok, I’ll see you at school tomorrow, good luck.” I spoke softly as I backed away slowly. I watched Jughead’s face go from angry to apologetic and walked away before he could say anything.
Jughead and I didn’t really speak much for the next few days. We still walked to class together, and he walked me home. He told me that the Mayor just wouldn’t listen to him or give his words any consideration, so I tried going to her myself the day after he did to change her mind.
“Hello, miss- “I opened the door to her office slowly, speaking with the politest tone I could manage.
“Miss y/l/n, I’m sorry, but the drive in is closing, and that’s final.” The mayor cut me off with a firm but somewhat polite tone.
“I’m sorry to bother you, this is just really important to Jughead. I just wanted to at least try and change your mind.”
“That’s quite alright, miss y/l/n.” The mayor smiled at me, staring at me for another moment before speaking again.
“Jughead is… special. He doesn’t have a lot of friends, certainly not any that would at least try to help him with something like this. I’m sorry I can’t save the drive in. I wish I could, for your sake and Jughead’s, but… “The mayor sighed, rubbing the side of her head with her thumb and forefinger.
“Thank you for your time.” I nodded, beginning to exit the Mayor’s office.
“Y/n?” I turned to the sound of the mayor’s voice. “Jughead is lucky to have a friend like you.”
“Thank you, Mayor.” I exited the office, my shoulders heavy.
The night of the drive-in, I rode to the lot with Kevin and Veronica, meeting up with Jughead. I found him by the snack counter and smiled as I watched him talk aimlessly with the boy in the booth.
“Hey, Jug.” I greeted my best friend and the boy he was talking to.
“Hey, y/n/n.” Jughead wrapped an arm around me, hugging me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his waist, my head leaning against his chest.
“How are you feeling?” I asked him, my voice muffled by his shirt. Jughead shrugged before looking down at me with a small smile on his face.
“Could be better, but you’re here, so I guess I’m not under a complete raincloud of doom.”
“Oh, so just a small one then?” I teased, grinning up at him.
“Yeah, it’s kinda just lingering somewhere behind me, ready to open up and strike me with a lightning bolt at any given moment.” I laughed at Jughead’s comment.
“Are you gonna come lay with us on the truck?” I asked him, a pleading look on my face. I grabbed his hand and began tugging him toward Kevin’s truck.
Jughead sucked in a breath before giving in. “Fine, Fine, I guess I’ll be angsty and depressed in the back of the truck instead of in the film room.” I jumped happily before intertwining Jughead’s hand with mine and pulling him towards the back of the truck. Veronica and Kevin sat curled up in blankets and scooted over so Jughead and I could sit next to them.
“Ah, it’s the official partners in crime, the tag team, the endgame, the- “
“I thought Archie and Betty were endgame?” I cut off Kevin before he could throw another couple reference at jughead and I.
“Yes, but that was before he got vocal with our music teacher.” Kevin grinned at his subtle pun and I rolled my eye.
“Ok, no Archie, no Ms. Grundy, no endgames, let’s just enjoy the drive in while we can, alright?” Veronica handed Jughead and I a blanket. I climbed in to Jughead’s lap and rested my back against his chest and he wrapped the blanket around us, his arms going around my waist under the cloth.
“Thank you,” Jughead whispered in my ear.
“For what?” I whispered back, grabbing the popcorn Veronica handed me.
“The mayor told me you stopped by to see her.” Jughead whispered to me. I turned around to face him and he was looking up at the big drive in screen, the lights reflecting off his face and casting shadows under his eyes and chin. He looked painstakingly beautiful. Jughead’s eyes flickered down to look at me and he smirked a bit before looking back up at the screen.
We stayed almost the whole night, watching movie after movie. The only time Jughead left was to go switch out the rolls as the credits came after the end of every showing. He would re-appear five minutes later, and I would lift the blanket as he hopped over the side of Kevin’s truck and resumed his prior position, his arms wrapped around me and his chin on my shoulder. At 4 in the morning, the credits to the last movie rolled, with only a few cars left on the lot. Veronica and Kevin were leaned against each other as they snored lightly, and my back rested against Jughead’s chest. I looked up at the mesmerizing boy. He had a hard look on his face and his jaw was clenched, his eyes glossy and shiny, the credits from the screen reflecting off his pupils.
“Jughead?” I spoke softly, my eyes on the raven-haired boy. He kept his gaze on the screen ahead of him. “Jughead, the construction people will be here soon, we have to go.”
“You guys go, I’m gonna hang around a little longer.” Jughead pulled away from me, climbing out of the truck and disappearing around the side of it. I turned to my friends, shaking them lightly to wake them up. Kevin woke first, carrying a still-sleeping Veronica around to the passenger seat and lying her in it. I grabbed my blanket and my backpack and swung it over my shoulder and waited at the driver’s side of the vehicle.
“Aren’t you and Jughead coming?” Kevin asked me, walking around to the front of the car where I stood.
“No, Jughead said he wanted to stay a bit longer, so I’ll wait with him.” I hugged my friend before he climbed in to the driver’s side.
“Hey, if you guys do it in the film room, I want details.” Kevin grinned devilishly before starting the car and driving away. I just shook my head, laughing at his comment. I made my way to the wall of the film room and leaned against it, folding my blanket. I pulled the bag off my shoulder, sticking the blanket inside.
 I waited for Jughead for another hour or so, playing on my phone mindlessly. I figured he was soaking up what he could of the film room before Mr. Andrews’ company teared it to shreds. The drive- in was his favorite place in town, besides the chock-lit shoppe.
I watched as the sky started to get lighter and I checked the time. 6:08 A.M. It wasn’t like I had never pulled an all-nighter before, and I wasn’t going to leave until I at least made sure Jughead was alright and home safe. I leaned back against the building, hearing birds chirping as the sun rose. Minutes later, I heard a voice from the other side of the building, and I turned my head, kicking off the wall with my heel and poking my head slightly around the corner. I saw the back of Jughead, and he was facing a man that looked familiar. Jughead had what looked like a camper bag hanging off his back, a poster sticking out of it.
“They’ll tear that booth down, too. Raise the whole place, send it to the junkyard.” The man in front of Jughead spoke, a smile playing on his lips.” And us with it.”
“Yeah, maybe they’ll save it. All the pieces. Store it in the town hall attic and rebuild it in a hundred years. Wonder who the hell we were.” I could almost picture the bittersweet smile on Jug’s face.
“Hmm.” The man smiled a bit more before his face became serious.
“So where are you gonna live now?” My heart stopped, a million emotions and realizations hitting me like a bus.
“I’ll figure it out dad, I always do.” I watched Jughead walked past him, walking towards the entrance of the drive in. I snuck around the other side of the building, making my way towards the entrance. I managed to beat Jughead to it and stood at the gate, my arms crossed as I waited for the boy I loved.
Jughead came around the corner, stopping in his tracks when he saw me. He had what looked like a busted look in his face as I stood there, a blank expression matching the hurt, worry, and concern for the boy.
“Y/n… what are you still doing here? I thought you-?” Jughead asked me, hoping I hadn’t caught on to what was going on.
“When exactly were you planning on telling me that you were homeless?” I cut him off, my tone of voice coming off as if I were a concerned mother. Jughead opened his mouth, trying to find the words to speak, but gave up, closing it instead.
Juggie? Really? I’m your best friend! We tell each other everything? Why would you keep this from me? More importantly, why aren’t you staying with your father? Is he homeless too? Did he kick you out? What is going on, Forsythe?! Tell me!” I paced back and forth as I rambled, before turning to look at Jughead. He looked down at the dirt underneath his shoes, His hand wrapped around the strap of his bag. I waited for an answer, my arms spread wide in front of me as I stared at him. Jughead said something that I couldn’t make out.
“What?” I spoke, encouraging him to repeat himself. Jughead lifted his head, the rims of his eyes a dark pink and tears falling down his face. My face dropped quickly, my heart clenching tightly as I looked at the broken boy in front of me.
“I said,” Jughead lifted his sleeve to wipe his running nose.” I don’t have a home.” His voice cracked slightly and more tears fell down Jughead’s face as he dropped the bag from his shoulder.
“Jughead.” I dropped my bag as well and quickly ran to the boy, trying to keep my tears from falling as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Jughead wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his face in to my neck and quietly crying. We stood there for a few minutes, my one hand rubbing his back and my other pulling off his hat so I could run my fingers through his hair, doing everything I knew in my power that could soothe him.
“Jughead, Hey, Jug.” My hands cupped his cheeks, rubbing the tears away from his eyes while mine began to fall freely.” Listen to me, you are not homeless, ok? And you will never, ever, be homeless, as long as I am alive and breathing.” I stopped for a second to inhale quickly, my nose stuffed.” You are going to come with me to Pop’s, and I’m going to buy us breakfast, and then we are going to go back to my house, and you’re going to take a shower, because lord knows how long it’s been since you’ve had one,” Jughead chuckled lightly at my statement and I also let out a breathy laugh.” And then you’re going to crawl in to the guest bed, and you’re going to get some sleep, because it literally exhausts me every time I see those bags under your eyes. And you’re going to stay with me, ok?” Jughead nodded silently, knowing that this was a losing battle.
“And this never. Happens. Again. You got it? God, Jug, something terrible could have happened to you. We’ve got a murderer waltzing around town, do you know how easily you could have been killed?” I scolded, more tears falling down my face. I backed away from Jughead, going to grab my bag. “I don’t know how I can ever survive without you, ever! I would have dropped dead if anything ever happened to you! You’re the most important thing in this entire world to me! I don’t even know how- “Jughead grabbed my arm, turning me to face him before leaning down and planting his lips on mine. I stood still for a second, processing the shock of the gesture before wrapping my arms back around his neck and pulling his body closer to mine. Jughead wrapped his arms around my waist, his lips moving against mine. After a few moments, we pulled apart, my chest rising and falling as I caught my breath.
“Jughead, I- “Apparently, Jughead wasn’t done, because he pressed his lips to mine again, taking my breath away once more. We stood at the gate of the drive in for a little while longer, Jughead pushing me backwards until my back was against the fence and his body was pressed firmly against mine. We broke apart when we heard a man clear his throat.
“Uh, we’re gonna have to ask you to leave the premises.” The man spoke politely.” Construction begins soon.”
“Oh, sorry sir.” I apologized quickly, fixing my hair that Jughead had his fist tangled in moments ago, and grabbed my bag. Jughead did the same, grabbing my hand and leading me away from the drive in and down the street towards Pop’s. We stopped at my house so we could drop off our bags and began our trek to the 24-hour diner.
“Hey, Jughead.” I looked up at the boy as we walked hand in hand to the diner. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Jughead looked down at me, smiling warmly.
“No, Jughead, I- “
“I know, and I love you, too.” I stopped walking, causing Jughead to stop as well. Jughead looked down at me and I leaned up, pressing another kiss to his lips.
Jughead and I made it to the diner soon after, spotting Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Kevin at a booth. When they saw us, they invited us to sit and Archie and Kevin grabbed chairs from another table.
“So, did anything happen in the film room?” Kevin wiggled his eyebrows at me as Jughead and I slid in to the booth. I slapped his shoulder before glaring at him.
“Nah, nothing happened in the film room.” Jughead paused momentarily before speaking again.” It happened outside the film room.” Kevin’s mouth dropped open wide.
“You kinky fuckers!” Kevin hollered. The table laughed as I turned red in embarrassment. I felt Jughead’s hand grab mine under the table and I smiled, my fingers intertwining with his.
He would always have a home, and it would be with me.

Quiver: Part One

Originally posted by spdrparker

yay! so i finished it. 
                                                 Summary: 

You were hired on a new team Tony Stark put together as the Tech support. However, you weren’t expecting to crush on none other than Bucky Barnes.
(this is Bucky’s look. sorry not sorry hehe)

Notes: FLIRTATIOUS!!! BUCKY!!!! fluff, smut is coming folks. some good smut too. 
if this gets to 200. I will do a part two.

word count: 2,992

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Jungkook: When you catch him masturbating

Genre: Smut

Tags: sex talk/ masturbation/ kinky play

MAFIA AU

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader

Characters:

You: The leader of a mafia organisation. 

Jeon Jungkook - Master of burglary and a hitman. You were childhood friends but now he works for you. 4 years younger. Doing his best to prove that despite his age he’s the right man for you.

Originally posted by pjmjjk


Setting: Having been sent on a mission to steal a very expensive piece of art, Jungkook arrives at your house to report on his job and to deliver the valuable object into the hands of its rightful owner.

If one ever asked Jeon Jungkook what was the thing that he craved most in his life he would without a doubt mention your name. He admired you. Pure adoration and much too visible eagerness displayed on his face whenever your eyes met and lingered a bit too long on each other. You were his boss. Free from doubt, he respected you greatly and made sure never to disappoint the object of his desire. That was probably why he had always been the best in completing even the most challenging and painfully shitty tasks no one else was capable of handling. Utter devotion and competing nature of your younger subordinate and childhood friend Jungkook never ceased to amaze you. It was only natural to turn to him yet another time. After all, wasn’t it obvious that he’d have been more than thrilled to fulfil your orders? Yes, you knew it well. The prospect of a possible reward left him even more restless and yearning for your attention each and every time. 


His main problem that he had to struggle with on numerous occasions however, was the fact that in your eyes he had always been a shy and cute younger friend who had to be protected. Definitely not a real man that could very well make your legs feel wobbly when in his presence.    


On the other hand, poor Jungkook could not possibly realise the fact that you were more than acutely aware of his now changed physics and strikingly different vibes that were coming out of him whenever he entered the room. Was this really the same lost baby boy with puppy eyes that used to sneak into your bed because he could not fall asleep? 


Hell, no. The moment you saw him after a 4 years break had made you question your ability to see properly. He was ridiculously handsome. Tall, slim, but with visible muscles that his too tight clothes exposed all too well. The way he walked even. His voice. Everything so drastically different you wanted to scream. And, there he was - wooing you and doing everything to prove that despite his age he can make you his. Everything to make you see that your mafia boss ass would never find better hands to take care of it. Both, literally and metaphorically.

So, once called to your office and after having heard that he indeed can once again cater to your silly whims, his stomach jumped in excitement.


Originally posted by jjks

Y: Stop smirking and answer. Will you be able to complete the mission or no?

K: Seriously, though… another painting, noona? How many have I fetched for you so far?

Y: Do you have any problems with that? Shall I ask Taehyung if you chicken out already?

K: No such thing.

His voice turned dark and hoarse. After all, you really knew how to pull his strings. Who was the one smirking now?.

K: I’ll take my leave, then. We’ll see each other soon.

Y: Mhmmm…

K: No, very soon…

He corrected himself and you raised your eyes from the documents only to see his back disappearing behind the doors of your office.


The mission had gone smoothly. He’d been extremely motivated to steal that one particularly expensive piece of art for his beautiful boss. Sadly, Jeon Jungkook, professional hitman and a burglar had run into some unexpected problems on the way, which had left him slightly wounded in the end. Had he been too careless because of all that tormenting images in his head? Had it been too difficult to focus on the task at hand with your pretty face taunting him over and over again? He had refused to answer any of these nagging questions and immediately after retrieving the object of your desire his feet found its way to your breathtaking house. 


You went out of your room to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen when you saw him standing in the middle of the vast room, holding tightly onto the neatly wrapped piece of art. A small smile forming on your face, but it died out just as quickly. What was that red stain on his shirt?

Instead of going forward, your legs stopped obeying you and you found yourself taking a step back. It looked so nasty. His shirt was drenched with sticky, red liquid. Was it getting too hot in the room? You suddenly felt it was hard to breathe.

Only then did you notice your loving sister and also a partner in running one of the most fearsome Mafia gangs in the country clutching to his devastated t-shirt in an attempt to perhaps have a better look of his wound?

Wound

The word resonated in your head and you didn’t like the way it made you feel.

K: It’s alright, Lulu. I’m ok. It’s nothing major.

He tried to push away her prying fingers. Hands stretched out for you to show the prize that doubtlessly proved that he had completed the mission without fail.

Originally posted by donewithjeon

Only now you did not care much about that foul painting. You could tear it to shreds right there and then.

Despite having problems with standing he looked so content and proud for having been able to successfully finish his task.

L: Oh, fuck Kooks, it looks so awful! Get that ass of yours to the bathroom I have to tend to this wound or otherwise you’ll bleed out on all the carpets.

You knew your sister well enough to realise that she was just joking around to ease the tension. One quick glance in your direction showed her how bad the situation was.

K: Common, it’s nothing to make a fuss about!

Before she had a chance to respond you cut the discussion short with your command.

Y: Do as you’re told and stop fucking around, you brat!

He looked a bit bewildered but also knowing Jungkook too well, Lulu started pushing him into the direction of the bathroom, not letting him engage into yet another fight with you.

Once out of your sight, you felt yourself getting teary-eyed. Guilt, worry and regret… All these emotions hit you out of a sudden. You were glad Lulu was there. You could not take care of his injury with your hands shaking like that. You felt weak. You didn’t want to show how badly this incident affected you. Since when exactly was the head of a mafia organisation so fragile?

You decided to get him some food. He must have been hungry and tired. The operation to get the painting had taken the entire night and it was only a matter time for him to finally feel the exhaustion spreading over his body.

Not long after, the smell of freshly prepared food fioated around the house. As expected, forever hungry Jeon Jungkook came back to the kitchen the moment his nose sensed it. If there was something that hadn’t changed since he was a child it definitely must have been his appetite. Fond memories started roaming in your head again.

The food was ready soon after. You were observing him as he was sitting at the table and stuffing his cheeks with curry rice you had prepared for him. Cute. Your heart skipped a beat. That fucker… You hated him for being so fucking perfect.

He was visibly tired. Eyes getting smaller and smaller. He rubbed them in between stuffing another portion of rice into his now red from exhaustion fluffy cheeks.

He gulped two 0,5 glasses of cola one after the other. Asked for seconds and after devouring it you thought he’d have fallen asleep on the table.

Y: Why don’t you go and have a nap in my room?

Your melodic voice brought him back to reality. He wanted to respond but only a huge yawn escaped his mouth. He simply nodded instead and took his way to your room where he had a shower and collapsed on your bed just after.


K: Oh god… it feels so good in her bed.

He felt blessed. He was so comfy. It really felt amazing and he was struggling at this point so much. It wasn’t like every day he had a chance to lay down in your bed. He was totally taken in by the smell of your sheets. Everything had your scent and the very thought that it was your bed and that you were sleeping there must have influenced his dreams.

Needless to say, after a couple of hours later he woke up with a huge problem in his now too tight boxer briefs. The dream he had was so vivid… The truth was he’d been dreaming of you numerous times but today it was more real than ever.

He was laying there, still a bit sleepy and drowsy from his nap. When he opened his eyes he could have sworn that he really had fucked you. He didn’t even know where he was…

After the initial confusion, everything slowly came back to his pretty head and he felt a frustrating disappointment the moment he finally realised it had been all just a wet dream.

One of too many…

K: No you didn’t just have sex with Y/N in the kitchen, get a hold of yourself, you idiot… It was just a fucking dream.

He reprimanded himself. The statement he had just uttered was so mentally agonising but he had to do this to bring himself back to harsh reality. The one in which he didn’t have sex with you in the kitchen after you had prepared a curry rice for him.

All he wanted was to close his eyes and go back to this vivid dream. But, unfortunately, even though he was trying very hard to fall asleep again there was this problematic issue that didn’t let him sleep anymore…

K: Gahhh...

He growled angrily in frustration. This poor boy was shifting nervously from one to the other side of the bed while replaying images of you and him fucking mindlessly on that kitchen counter. He got so hard it was beginning to be painful. Almost unbearable. If he had been in his own bed he would have jacked himself off as he usually did when he had these dreams with you.

It felt a bit not right to do that there, though… Right? 

At least, somewhere at the back of his head, he knew he really shouldn’t have. That it was inappropriate and just simply wrong. He was having this mental fight. Weighing arguments for and against.

K: Get your shit together. You won’t wank off in her bed!

He angrily switched position to lay on his stomach and put his arms under the pillows to prevent himself from doing any nasty things.

Turned out, that it was the worst possible decision ever…

He felt his large hands brushing against some silky material. It was so nice to touch that he fumbled it in between his fingers. Soon after, the curiosity won over him and he pulled out the fabric from under the pillows.

He examined the delicate material resting in his palms.

K: No… noooo…

He took a deep breath and squeezed your panties in his hand burying head into the sheets. It was the exact moment when it dawned on him that he had lost this unfair battle. He rolled over on his back again.

His free hand immediately in his boxers and he started jerking off.

Shamelessly.

No further doubts in his head anymore. It just felt too good to control himself and he had yearned for this too much to stop.

He was playing with your panties in one of his hands, while the other slowly worked his rock hard member. He even sniffed them trying to get to know how you would taste. He was still replaying the mental images from the dream in his head. He wanted to be in you so badly.

So badly that he took your panties and without much thinking wrapped his painful erection with them. He began pumping even harder and quicker.

The fabric created this nice sensation on his skin and a soft moan escaped his lips. He was breathing laboriously and he even cried out your name from time to time, imagining that he is indeed thrusting into you on that kitchen counter as it had been in his dream.

Your panties were completely soaked wet. He was leaking with precum and only moments shared him from this much-needed release. A couple of strokes with his skilful hand and long fingers.

But then, he heard a knock on the door.

Y: Kookie, are you up?

It was you. His heart almost stopped in his chest. He quickly covered himself with the blanket and answered in a shaky voice. So unlike him.

K: Yeaahhh… Kind of…

Is he out of breath? - you were thinking to yourself, getting a little worried about his condition.

Y: Are you unwell, Kooks?

K: No, I’m just fine, noona. Perfectly fine!

Let’s be honest. It didn’t sound too convincing so you slowly opened the door and entered the room. He was covered up with blankets up to his ears. 

So cute…Too cute…

Your thoughts once again drifting away in a wrong direction. You couldn’t help, but to smile at this big boy.

Y: Did you sleep well, sleepyhead?

He saw you were moving in the direction of the bed and was mentally panicking. He wanted to die for his stupidity and lack of any control over his hormones. Being caught by your love interest while jacking off in her bed? What a wonderful prospect! It surely would help in proving that he wasn’t a childish boy anymore. He was crying inside and scolding himself in his thoughts.

it was like a really shitty predicament that he found himself in… it became clear that you intended to sit beside him on the bed and soon after, there he was with a hard on and you sitting inches away from him. His face was so red you kept on nagging him with questions…

Y: Kookie, are you sure you’re alright?

You touched hid forehead with your hand.

Y: You seem feverish…

K: No, trust me! I’m ok, noona.

He really tried to play it cool. Too bad…

Y: Maybe it’s because of the wound? Lemme see it.

After saying that you took the sheets in your hand, wanting to uncover this poor, little, wounded boy… You were so worried!

K: NOOOOOO… NO!

He almost jumped on the bed desperately catching the sheets and clinging to them for his dear life which in all honesty got you even more worried about him. Maybe even annoyed? Was he playing a big man while actually, he was in real pain? Your face twisted at the thought.

Y: Oh, I knew it! You’re in pain! Why didn’t you tell us earlier?!

You kept on shouting louder and louder.

Y: Don’t try to act like some fucking badass! It’s not one of your stupid video games you brat!

Then you pulled the sheets with all of your force… and well…

You didn’t quite expect to see what you saw. First of all, Jeon Jungkook,, your childhood friend and now a subordinate had a fucking hard on. Second of all? It seemed as if your panties stood out from under his boxers.

Thirdly…

Y: Kooks, you’re huge!

You thought to yourself or maybe you wanted to but it turned out that you had just said it out loud.

Yes, it must have been the case judging from Jungkook’s reaction. His chocolate brown eyes went wide. He wanted to say something. He even opened his mouth in order to do so, but in the end, he didn’t utter a thing. At least, nothing coherent.

You were just staring at his length… Everything about this situation was oh so awkward. He felt so ashamed. He tried to read from your face what you were possibly thinking and sadly, he only had bad predictions

K: Baby girl, I’m so sorry… It just kind of… happened? I don’t know how… I mean…

And truth to be told all you were thinking then was how damn hot he looked. His body in full view. Rock hard thighs pressed together in a pathetic attempt to hide his throbbing member. He was so visibly scared of your reaction. His plump lips were left partially open in an ‘o’ shape. Eyes even bigger than ever.

You felt the sudden urge to touch him. He was just irresistible, You more or less knew what must have happened and you couldn’t really blame him… He’s so young… He had been in your bed and then he probably also found the panties.

You felt your core getting hot. The idea of Jungkook touching himself in your bed was simply too alluring… and so dirty.

Immediately, you decided to play along.

Y: Did you wank in my bed?

K: Noona, I’m so so…

Y: Answer the question, dammit!

You interrupted him not letting him utter his miserable apologies. He grabbed so hard on the sheets that it must have hurt him. He averted your gaze feeling so bad for himself, but then… he forgot how to breathe when he saw your hand approaching his boxers.

K: Noona?!

You took the string of your panties that was standing out from his boxers and you slowly pulled the string trying to take them out and unwrap his member.

And, oh fuck… You could only imagine how pleasurable it was for him observing how he threw his head back moaning in response. His body shivered feeling as the fabric was ticklishly moving around his shaft.

K: Baby girl…

Breathless plea leaving his deliciously enticing wet with saliva lips.

Y: Did you think about some other girls when you were jerking off?

Your voice as cold as it was only possible. He frowned at the accusation. He wanted to respond but you caught him short when you put a hand on his hard member caressing him through the boxers.

K: Ahhhh…

He inhaled sharply and due to the pleasurable sensation that unexpectedly crept over his body, he forgot what he was about to say. His mind completely blank focusing only on your ministrations. Hips already rocking in rhythm with you palm. His orgasm was quickly building up all over again. You were rubbing his cock in circles never really fully taking him into your hand, but applying enough pressure for him to forget his name.

Y: Answer the fucking question, you brat!

You ran up with your hand so high that it must have hurt him now. He squeaked and his hands involuntarily trying to hold you closer to his chest so as to hug you, He truly wanted to answer back, but it was all very hard because of your touch.

K: Noona, I’d never…Believe me, please!

His answer delivered in between desperate moans and harsh grunts coming out of his throat.

Y: So, what did you think about? Eh?!

K: About you!

He blurted out truthfully. His head collapsing in the crook of your neck.

Y: Like I’d believe you, you dirty, little liar!

He was so turned on that he was bending down, trying to look for your lips. His hip thrusts even more erratic now. It wasn’t going to last much longer. Despite feeling like in fucking heaven he was so flustered that you didn’t want to believe him. He quickly spat out, without much thinking. His voice cracking all the time.

K: I was dreaming about fucking you on that damned kitchen counter!

Words quickly came out of his mouth. His laborious breathing was a true music to your ears.

A way to get a confession out of a guy. Indeed. But, he sounded so sexy you felt a sudden wave of pleasure in your stomach and you felt that it was too much to tease him so you cooed…

Y: Baby, please tell me more. 

His spirits got up after hearing that familiar nickname. You went on.

Y: Did you fuck me well?

Being obviously turned on as well at this point, you couldn’t keep it in anymore. Your words were like magic. He started eagerly nodding his head. Overexcited and happy that you finally believed him.

K: Baby you were moaning so hard for me, I swear…

Y: Was I?

K: Oh, yes, yes. You did! You even screamed my name over and over again.

All the time you kept massaging his dick and, not surprisingly, being the little kinky shit that he was, your dirty talk threw him over the edge. Before climaxing he once again nuzzled his head into your neck as if embarrassed and came hard into his boxers.

Frankly, you hadn’t even palmed him properly but he came anyway. You chuckled a little when you realised that. He hugged you so tightly afraid of letting go. You hugged him back, fondly massaging his back and helping him to calm down. When he was more or less alright he put your foreheads together and looked deeply into your eyes, still a bit embarrassed. He bit his lip. The usual habit when he got nervous and then he kissed you. Deeply. With such passion, you could feel his affection towards you. He was so needy and wanted you so badly words could not express how he felt then…

Out of a sudden, you heard Yoongi screaming as if there was some kind of an emergency or what not…

S: Y/N… where are you?! I came to hang that fucking painting for you!

Judging from his voice he must have been getting closer and closer to your room. You didn’t want to let one of your most mean assistants know that you had just jerked off Jungkook, so you quickly leaped to your feet leaving him with puppy eyes.

Y: Sure, coming!

Just before leaving the room you gave Jungkook a quick peck on his forehead and he flashed that gummy smile of his that had always made your stomach feel disturbingly warm.

Originally posted by bangtan-so-far


And this is how Jeon Jungkook got his very first and definitely not the last orgasm from you. 

Minimalist Spell Series: Black Honey Curse

I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees,
I can’t understand why they’re stinging me…

Items:

  • Red pen (or any writing utensil that’s red)
  • Paper
  • Honey
  • Ground pepper

Method:

Take your paper and write your target’s name on it. Try to take up as much of the paper as you can. If you’d like, write it multiple times, over and over, to take up more space. As you do this, channel all of your negative energy through the pen and into the paper. Say to yourself, when done, “You keep swinging your hand through a swarm of bees, you can’t understand why they’re stinging you. But I’ll do what I want, I’ll do what I please, I’ll do it again ‘til I get what I need.”

Take the honey and strike through the name with it. Take the pepper and sprinkle it into the honey and over the name. Say, “And this time, I’ll get it right. Yeah, this time I’ll get it right. It’s gonna be this time I get it right. Oh god/goddess [your preference] let it be this time I get it right!” 

Tear up the paper. Rip it to absolute shreds. Burn it, tear it, cut it up, whatever you can to destroy the paper. As you do, say “So I’m cutting this branch off the cherry tree, singing ‘this will be my victory!’”

And finally, dispose of the shreds, outdoor bins or the toilet are the best. Make sure you cleanse your honey jar, pepper container, and your pen afterwards!

“Nothing I do is ever good enough.” part.3 Ending

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Genre: Angst

Words: 2,890

*WARNING* - The following content can be triggering. With mentions of depression etc. Read at your own risk as this chapter is quite ‘dark’, and I don’t want to upset anyone.

[part.1] [part.2] [part.3 ending]


Originally posted by bwibelle

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beautiful insecurities - peter parker

Pairing: Peter Parker x plus size! reader

Summary: Your body image was suddenly headed down a steep hill. It turns out, all you needed was Michelle and especially Peter to show you how beautiful and wanted you truly are.

Requested: yes (anon)

Warning: language

Words: 2759 (this is so long lol srry) yall this is so fluffy holy guacamole

a/n: I just wanted to say that no one should feel lesser of a person in their body image. If you are plus sized, I am in no way, shape, or form saying that you feel negative in yourself. This was the request, so I stuck to it:) you are all beautiful no matter what you look like, I love you all!!

masterlist

________________________________________________________

You had never really shed any light on the fact of your size. You didn’t think it was a problem, it didn’t seem as if it was a problem. You parents never told you it was an issue, neither had anyone else. Of course, you knew you were no size two, ANTM, but you honestly didn’t think you were missing anything.

So what, you actually had hips. And who cared if you didn’t have a thigh gap.

You didn’t.

Sure, your face carried some lovable, soft extra skin in your cheeks. Your mom told you she loved it, rubbing your face as your soft, velvety cheeks squished underneath the palms of her rough hands. Maybe your stomach wasn’t tone and flat, but you kind of adored the way it had some extra fluff around it.

You liked the way you looked, and your mind was never wandering with aching and painful thoughts on how you could drop a couple pounds, or what a real bikini body looked like. You were confident in your looks and all abilities to proudly accomplish whatever you wanted to, and no one was going to fluctuate that.

That was until today. You heard your friend, Peter Parker, the love of your life (lol crush) jab on about how admirably wonderful Liz Allen was as  you sat in Calculus yesterday. You listened to Peter go on and on and on and on about beautiful Liz was. How she just had the most perfect set of eyes, ones that dazzled in the moonlight, the most beautiful pair of lips, ones that look so kissable and lovely. Oh, and her absolutely amazing, banging, figure.

You watched silently and horrifically as Peter’s lovely brown eyes filled with some type of lust, aka Teen Hormones ™, his mind clouding with the scene of Liz strutting down the hallway like a catwalk, her thin legs prancing happily in front of her, and her thin waist wave from side to side in a sort of angelic bounce, causing most of the boys’ eyes around to stare at her perfect figure.  

Your heart acted on a sort of pressure that ran throughout your body, it jumping for a quick second as the thought cruelly seeped into your clouded brain. You honestly didn’t know what to feel for the first few minutes as you processed his words over and over again.

“Oh god, and her figure. Her amazing, banging, figure.”

A race of chills climbed up your spine as the sentence played across the front of your mind. Your thought process for all these years was now completely and utterly obliterated. Never once did the thought of despising your body, curves and all, ever cross your mind. You had always adored the way your figure was quite different than others around you. But son enough, your veins were washing the confident state of mind away, and replacing your pulse with a new type of medicine.

Regret.

The word felt foreign in your brain, especially when taking your body figure into consideration. You were made this way, and you always assumed that was the nature of your life. But now, your mind was displaying a new type of emotion you had never deceived in your body image before, and your heart knew it too. All the images of you in a new outfit, or you standing in the mirror, a smile adorning your lips at the sight of you approaching the world that morning, were no longer joyful, pleasant images. They were burning before your Y/E/C eyes, escaping into the back of your brain.

Suddenly, your lovable, chubbier cheeks were no longer seen as cute in your eyes. The closed space from in between your thighs was no longer a facade of thought. Your clothing sizes were no longer just number imprinted into your jeans, they were seen as hideous, enormous numbers that dared to be reckon with. Your body was abruptly viewed as unstable and undesirable in your mind.

Your figure was now a symbol of all your insecurities.

-

“Y/N? Are you okay?” you friend Michelle asked you as you stared off into the distance, your mind distracted with thoughts of your new view of your body.

You didn’t know how you should respond. Michelle was your best friend, who you told everything to, you didn’t want to keep something as silly as a body image from her knowledge.

Your lips broke to allow a heavy sigh to slip through, eyes focusing from the wall to her slumped figure beside you. You turned towards her, a shaky breath allowing itself to come with your confession, “Honestly…no,” you confessed, eyes shutting tightly as your previous thoughts fro today slipped back to the front of your mind.

Opening your tired eyes, you saw Michelle’s eyebrows furrow and her pretty brown eyes squint at you in disorientation before setting her book down next to her on the bleachers. “What’s up?” she asked, lips closing together tightly and voice laced with sweet concern at you, her friendly demeanor shining through for a few minutes.

“I just, I just heard Peter talking about how incredible and gorgeous Liz is, and how her body is fucking amazing and it just got me thinking about it, ya know? You know how I’ve felt about Peter for awhile now, and I realized Peter is never, will never  like someone like me. And I know it’s not just about Peter, it’s how I see myself every day in the mirror,” you trailed off, eyes down-casting from Michelle’s concerned figure to the pasty yellow tile beneath you, the confession acting as a burden on your shoulders rather than a breath of fresh air.

Michelle watched carefully at your saddened demeanor, seeing your eyes suddenly shed a small tear at your story, her mind processing your previous thought and Peter’s endless comments in fifth period today together into one huge controversy. Your head rose slowly as you waited for Michelle to respond, your eyes meeting hers in a guilty glance before her mouth opened, to rip Peter to shreds.

“Y/N, don’t you dare think for a second that you need to change yourself to impress a boy! Especially Peter, ha! So what if he thinks Liz is the greatest fucking thing since slice bread! You are beautiful and so is your body, don’t you ever forget that,” Michelle hollered out to you, her head cocking at you every time she made a powerful statement.

Your heart did a leap as the sweet and caring words fled out of Michelle’s mouth and into your ears. A smile spread across her face as she witnessed your eyes soften as she told you how beautiful you were. She leaned in sweetly, arms extended out, waiting for you to envelope her into a bone-crushing hug.  

You leaned over and wrapped your arms around her tightly, a heavy sigh escaping your lips befre muttering against Michelle’s hair, “Thank you so much, MJ. You’re the sweetest friend,” you admitted, smiling even more as she tightened your grip on you.

“Always! Oh, and don’t forget group project tonight at your place!” she replied, reaching for her book and backpack as the bell rang for next period. You nodded a yes and pointed your finger at her jokingly as she hopped of the bleachers and made her way to Chemistry.

You walked down and out the gym door as you walked somewhat relieved to your next class. Michelle’s advice was heartwarming, and you couldn’t ask for a better friend. But, the pain of still looking like you did was somewhat still present in the back of your mind, the image of your perspective barely faltering as you listened to her uplifting advice.

But, what you didn’t know, was that as you walked through the door to your sixth period, Michelle was dialing Peter’s phone number on the other side of the building. Her fingers ferociously typed his number in before whipping it up to her ear. She slumped slightly, not wanting to get in trouble for having her phone out in between classes.

“Uh, hello?”

“Peter, I swear to god I’m going to kick your stupid ass into next Tuesday…”

_

“I need a break, I’ll be right back,” Michelle had jumped up from her previous spot on your carpeted floor, hands rubbing against her jeans as she looked at you and Peter below her before making her way out your bedroom door and into the kitchen.

You three had been working on your Chemistry project for the past two hours and all of you were exhausted. Between Peter’s telling you both exactly where to put things, Michelle reading out the instructions, and you gluing the goddamn atom together, you could take a serious nap.

Your bedroom door shut loudly behind you, your figure slumping down in tiredness as you and Peter sat next to each other on the floor. The loud voice that was usually rolling off of Michelle’s lips was gone, and the silence in the room between the two of you was inching closer and closer to the line of awkward.

Why was it awkward?

You and Peter could talk to each other non stop, but all of the sudden, the atmosphere felt thick with tension, and your usual joyous state was diminished by poor thoughts of yourself from today, which were still evident throughout your clouded mind.

Your eyes peered over to Peter’s figure, his eyes rolling everywhere in the room except yours as his arms folded across his chest. Your eyes carefully wandered over his seemingly oblivious state, your mind running with thoughts as to why Peter wouldn’t strike up a usual conversation with you and instead was randomly having his eyes wander around the room.

You tucked your legs beside you, your body instantly feeling insecure and uncomfortable with the new position your figure was displaying. Your quickly brought your arms from beside you to covering your stomach anxiously, mind clearly not wanting Peter to witness your stomach bulging through your shirt. Your brain was wracking with the insecurities of your body, curiously hoping that he wouldn’t judge you in his mind.

You watched the plaid shirt peek from underneath his blue sweater, the usual outfit adorning his body so nicely every day. His thin lips were shut in a tight line as his head of slightly curled brown hair was facing you. Your eyes gave him the once over multiple times, you heart silently aching as you softly watched the boy you yearned for probably thinking about another girl that you would never be able to measure up to.

Your thoughts engulfed you in a deep state of understanding for a few minutes as the silence around you hit your ears loudly, the nerves and insecurities still taking up space in your mind.

“Michelle, uh, she told me what you told her today.”

Your brain broke of all unstable thoughts as soon as you heard the delicate yet weary sentence flood from between his lips. Your head whipped over and you stared wide eyed at Peter, eyebrows raised as he stared daringly back t you, Every word, every sound, every anxious confession you allow slide off your tongue today to Michelle was now a statement Peter had heard a few hours earlier. Your mind attempted to course the abrupt topic, the silence no longer banging in your ears a loud buzz, but a foreign type of meaning as it filled your eardrums.

Peter knew, oh god, Peter knew. He knew how insecure you felt about yourself, he knew how much you despised hearing him lecture to you about his admirable feelings towards Liz. H knew how you felt about him, in the most anxious and insecure way possible.

Your heart felt heavy with guilt yet regret all at once as you attempted to process what Peter would say or do next. The embarrassment of your self-doubt and emotions was slowly climbing its way up your neck and to sting your soft cheeks in a rosy vibrancy. Your mouth gaped open like a fish as the feeling of neglect towards Michelle as approaching the sudden situation all at once.

Peter saw your feverish and embarrassed state, his veins flooding with guilt as his mind told him not to make you feel sorry fr yourself. That was the last thing he wanted to do. His intention was never, is never to make you feel worse about yourself than you already do. He wanted to prove to your sweet and passionate heart that his intention was so oblivious and his view was so, so much different than you perceived it to be.

“I, I can explain-” you finally braved the anxiety and let out, your body instinctively pushing itself closer to Peter’s in help of proving your point. You reached out, your arms attempting to steady your nervous and shaky hand as it trembled with the truth.

Your heart pumped quickly ans your eyes feverishly skated back and forth from Peter’s loving brown eyes to his suddenly closer figure scooting towards your anxious one. Peter’s head shook slightly back and forth before reaching over and laying his hand o your shoulder. The spark of his endearing touch put your trembling body in a slight state of ease, your deep breath releasing with his touch.

Peter’s eyes peeked from underneath his lashes and his think eyebrows scrunched in worry as he cut you off, “No. I’m going to explain,” he relieved, eyes attaching themselves to your captivating ones in a sweet stare.

You swallowed the lump of excuses down your throat and nodded slightly as his response, eyes still fixated on his newly outspoken demeanor. Your nerves coursed through you like a race, your stomach twisting in knots as your heart and mind prepared for the absolute worst. The boy, sitting in front of you, Peter Parker, was about toe reveal his true thoughts, emotions, and ideas of you to you in the sudden state of silence, and you weren’t sure if your heart or body could handle it.

But damn. One heart didn’t clench and then tear in two of nothing but heartache and pain that night. Two hearts clenched and then burst with overwhelming emotion and shock, the absolute adoration of the other sewing the breaking heart back together.

Peter stared lovingly, unbeknownst to you, at you as he muttered these heartwarming words to your crumbling view of yourself, “Y/N, when Michelle told me how you felt towards me and the entire situation of your negative body image, my entire view of everything collapsed. My heart wrenched at the thought of you despising the way you look for even a second. I just couldn’t believe that someone, who looked like you, could even stray from the thought of beauty,” his scratchy voice echoed in your ears as your breath caught in the back of your throat at his words.

Your mind almost couldn’t handle what was occurring before you for a second, the embarrassment exhuming itself from your face and out of the room completely. Peter’s lips turned up in a small smile as he leaned forward and grabbed your face in his hands, eyes wandering everywhere over your smooth features. You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes in the warmth of his palms as he continued.

“Don’t, for a second think you aren’t worth anyone’s time, because you are possibly my favorite thing to look at. What I said about Liz was just me trying to distract myself from you, because  I never thought you would feel the same way. Your body is absolutely perfect, and I, nor should you, ever change it. Because, I love you and every quirk and slight imperfection that comes with it,” Peter’s slightly taller figure leaned down and placed his forehead against yours, his thumbs rubbing the little chubbiness of your cheeks.

Your body pumped with exhilaration and your chapped lips smiled at the love flowing between the two of you. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his figure, tugging him closer to you. The warmth radiated off him to you as he hugged back, head pushing itself into the crook of your neck.

His lips pressed against your soft neck and the ignited feeling you felt rush through you allowed a small gasp to push through your lips.

You felt beautiful and confident in yourself once again, you two friends proving that to you. You didn’t need a boy’s affection to show you, you need love from your friends to justify how beautiful you always will be.

Peter was an added bonus;)))

__________________________________________________

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You asked me if you did anything wrong, that you haven’t heard from me in weeks and don’t know why.
“What did I do to make you hate me?”
You don’t get it, do you?
The moment I met you, it was as if the world around me had blurred and drowned into nothingness. All of the commotion fell into a faint echo and right then, I knew. I could feel you taking a sledgehammer to the protective walls of my heart. They came crumbling down easier than they ever have before and just like that, my heart was in your hands.
I prayed you would be careful with it.
You weren’t.
You played with my heartstrings as if they were just another practice set that would enable you to perfect your technique for the right person. But the thing is, I may not have been your right person, but you were mine. I was willing to give up on my happiness for this lifetime because I swear you made me happy enough to fill a dozen more. I was willing to give up on all of my dreams because you had already come true. I was willing to give you all the galaxies inside of me if that showed you how devoted I was.
I prayed that would make me be enough for you.
It didn’t.
You stole my heart and the only reason I want it back is so I can tear it to shreds. I want to stomp on it the same way you did just so it can stop loving you. If I have to see it fall apart again, I want to watch it crumble in my own hands instead of yours. But most of all, I want you to stop asking if or why I hate you.
Don’t you see? Im not able to feel that emotion towards you. I have loved you too much for so long that I don’t know any other feeling.
So, if you don’t hear from me, it’s not because I hate you. It’s because I’m distancing myself just long enough to piece together what’s left of my heart.
I pray it will one day be worthy of your love.
We both know it never will be.
Crushed Love - Peter Parker (Tom Holland)

MASTER LIST

WARNINGS: SLIGHT CURSING, MENTIONS OF DEATH, VIOLENCE

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SPIDERMAN HOMECOMING, BUT NOTHING TOO DRASTIC

Peter’s P.O.V.

“Wait, does Y/N know?” Ned asked, as we sat in my room, planning what we were going go wear for homecoming.

“No. And she never will.”

“Why not, she’s your best friend, well, second best,” Ned said the last part with a wink, causing me to roll my eyes.

“I’m serious.” Ned pushed. “Ned, no. Alright? If she knew, she could get hurt, and if she got hurt I’d never be able to live with myself. So please, just don’t say anything.”

I winced at just the thought of her getting hurt.

“Alright, alright. But I can’t promise I won’t tell her how you feel,” Ned said dragging out the last word in a sing-song voice.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, trying to pretend like I was oblivious to what he was talking about.

Ned rolled his eyes, “Please, it’s obvious you like her. I don’t know why you asked Liz to the dance, Y/N would’ve said yes.”

“I don’t like her Ned.”

He rolled his eyes, “Seriously, you trust me with knowing that you’re the Spider-Man, but not with your crush?”

I looked down at my feet and crossed my arms, knowing he was right. “I don’t like her… I love her,” I mumbled.

“Then tell her! The dance would be a perfect time dude!” Ned practically yelled, slapping me arm.

“I don’t know Ned, what if she doesn’t-”

“Trust me. She does.” Ned said, before going back to whatever he was doing on his phone.

I let out a sigh, maybe Ned was right.

-TIME SKIP-

“Liz, why don’t you go in, I’m gonna give Peter the dad talk,” Liz’s dad said with a wink. My heart dropped into my stomach.

Liz rolled her eyes, “Don’t let him scare you too much,” she said before getting out of the car.

Vulture was talking, but I could barely focus on a word he was saying, truth be told I was terrifying.

“As long as you stay out of my way, we’ll be good,” He said with a smile. I nodded, and reached for the door handle.

“Oh, and Peter, one more thing. Make one wrong move, and I won’t hesitate to kill her,” He said. I followed his gaze, my eyes landing on Y/N.

She was wearing a gorgeous long red dress that hugged every curve perfectly. Her hair was down and her smile was as vibrant as ever.

My heart stopped and my face went pale, “Yeah, I know about her.” He said in a taunting voice.

There was an audible click, signaling the door had been unlocked. I slowly climbed out of the car.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as I approached Y/N and the doors. “Peter? What’s wrong?” She asked, stopping me, placing her hands on my shoulders.

Her eyes sparkled as they looked into mine. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her in a hug. “You need to go home, it’s not safe.” I whispered, my heart still racing.

She looked at me with a confused expression, “Peter what are you talking about?”

“Just, trust me, alright?” I said, in a dead serious tone. Before she could answer I ran inside, knowing that tonight, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the dance, or confess my feelings to Y/N.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I stood there in awe as Peter ran into the school. His last words echoing in my head. Why wouldn’t I be safe?

“Y/N? Are you ready?” My best friend asked. I shook my head, “You guys go, I need a minute,” I said, waving my friends inside, leaving me the only one outside.

I rubbed my arms as a cool breeze sent chills throughout my body. I grew uneasy, thinking of what Peter said about being safe.

All of a sudden, I felt a gloved hand cover my mouth and another wrap around my waist, roughly pulling me backwards as I struggled against my captor.

“I don’t usually do this, but you know what they say about desperate times,” A voice whispered into my ear, before a sharp pain exploded in my temple, and darkness slowly consumed my vision.

Peter’s P.O.V.

I walked into the empty warehouse, seeing nothing but Vulture and a metal table.

“It’s over,” I said, my voice shaking slightly.

“Is it?” Vulture questioned before letting out a loud whistle. It was then that a man came out from hiding, pushing a girl in a long red dress in front of him.

The girl wad thrown to the floor by the force of the man. It didn’t take me long to realise who the girl was.

“Let her go!” I yelled as I began to run towards Y/N. But Vulture walked over and pulled her up by her hair, putting an Alien looking gun to her head, causing me to stop in my tracks.

Y/N let out a whimper, “Please, please don’t.” She begged, tears streaming down her face.

“She’s just an innocent citizen, she has nothing to do with this,” I said, still trying to hide my real identity from her.

“Now, now, there’s no need to act like a stranger. Why don’t you just tell the girl…” Vulture smirked before finishing his sentence with one last word, “… Peter.”

This caused Y/N to go still. “Take the mask off,” Vulture said. I stood frozen, staring at him, “Take it off!” He yelled, pressing the gun harder agasint Y/N’s head.

“Okay! Okay! Stop it, just don’t hurt her. Please.” I said, before slowly removing my mask, not being able to look Y/N in the eye.

“Peter-” Y/N started, but was interrupted by a loud crash, caused by vulture’s metal wings bursting through the ceiling and flying around the room recklessly.

“You missed,” I said, as I ducked out of the path of the wings. Vulture smirked as he threw Y/N to the ground, “Did I? Cause my distraction seemed to work.”

The wings flew around one more time, crashing into the concrete beams that held the building, before they attached to him, and taking him to safety, leaving Y/N and I.

The roof began to cave in, “Y/N!” I yelled, trying to run to her, but I was suddenly pinned down by massive blocks of concrete. Y/N’s screams echoed through the air.

“Please! Somebody. Help!” I yelled out, unable to move. “PLEASE! We’re stuck!” I screamed even louder, but I knew it was no use.

But what scared me the most was the fact that Y/N wasn’t screaming anymore. In fact, she made no effort to call out, leaving me to infer the worst.

“Y/N! Y/N! NO, PLEASE NO!” I screamed, shredding my throat. “SAY SOMETHING, PLEASE! Please.” I whispered the last word, my voice cracking and tears beginning to spill down my cheeks.

Sobs racked my body. I had to get out of here. I struggled against the concrete blocks, but each time I ended up failing.

I let out a frustrated scream that mixed with a sob. I looked down in defeat, seeing my mask floating in a puddle of water, my reflection staring back at me.

‘If youre nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it.’

Those words echoed in my head, and in that moment I realised Mr. Stark was right. I gave it one last trying, and slowly but surely, I was able to lift the concrete and free myself.

As soon as I was free and climbed over the debris to where I last saw Y/N and began digging through.

Her body laid lifeless just beneath the rubble, a gash on her head allowed blood to flow freely onto the floor, and her left leg was pinned beneath a slab of concrete.

I swiftly freed her, picking up her limp body, and bringing her to a clearing.

I gently laid her down, kneeling beside her and leaned my head down, pressing my ear against her chest. A faint heart beat just barely audible.

I cupped her face with my hands, “No. No. Y/N Please, please wake up.” I begged, as tears ran down my face.

Violent sobs racked through my body, “Come on, please. PLEASE!” I screamed the last word, only to be cut off by another sob.

“Please, I can’t do this without you, I love you, Y/N, please you can’t leave me . I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Please just wake up,” I barely got out, before erupting into another violent fit of sobs.

“Please,” I choked out, my voice breaking. It felt as if my heart had been crushed, I felt numb and empty.

“AHH!” I screamed, my fists clenched, and my body shaking. “GODDAMNIT!” I pounded on the ground with my fists, my knuckles growing bloody under my gloves, the fabric tearing.

I turned back to Y/N with nothing but guilt and sadness, this was my fault. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered as I pulled her into my lap and cradled her in my arms.

I placed a soft kiss to her forehead, my tears landing on her pale skin. I ran my thumb over her lips, stopping for a second when I felt something impossible. There was a small tingle of air just brushing my fingers. She was breathing.

“Y/N?” I said, shocked.

Within seconds her eyes magically fluttered open. “Peter?” Was all she said. But that was all she needed to say for me to break and pull her into my chest, letting myself cry without shame.

“I thought I lost you,” I whispered. Y/N let out a whimper and hugged me tighter, her fist tighly gripping the fabric of my suit. Her body shook as she choked back a sob.

“It’s okay, you’re okay, ” I whispered, trying to calm her, though it was more of an attempt to reassure myself that she was in fact ‘okay.’

“Peter, he- he said he was gonna kill me, and-” A wrangled sob escaped her body and cut her sentence short.

“Shh, I know, it’s okay, I’ve got you, You’re safe, no one is gonna hurt you ever again,” I said as I pulled away from the hug, cupping her face, keeping her eyes locked with mine.

I stared into her beautiful Y/E/C eyes, tears still finding there way down her cheeks. “You scared the shit out of me,” I said, before closing the distance between out lips.

We shared a long, passionate kiss, only breaking for air. “I love you so much, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I whispered, smoothing the hair out of her face. “I’m sorry I never told you before, the thought of you dying before I could tell you- god it was unbearable.”

Y/N wrapped her arms around me again, clinging to me, “I love you too, Peter.”

We sat there just holding each other for a few seconds before the sad realization of reality hit me. “I have to go,” I whispered, causing her to look at me. “What?”

“Vulture, he’s about to rob Mr. Stark’s plane, I have to stop him.”

She shook her head, “No. No, Peter you can’t.”

I cupped her face with my hands and stared into her eyes, “I have to.”

Tears began to leak from her eyes, “Please be careful, promise me.” I nodded, before leaning in and placing my lips on hers once more, “I promise.”

I took my phone out of my pocket, which had surprisingly only sustained a few cracks in the screen and placed it in Y/N’s hand. “Call Mr. Stark, tell him what happened. Everything is going to be okay. I love you so much.”

And with that, I was off, more eager than ever to make Vulture pay for what he did.

-TIME SKIP-

Right after the fight with Vulture, I hurried to where I had last left Y/N. She was no longer there, instead, someone else was.

“Happy?” I said as I walked towards him. “Hey kid, you look like shit,” he said, his tone was proud and playful, which was a change from his usual annoyed and angry tone.

“Where is she? Is she okay?” I asked, in a panic.

Happy smiled, “She’s all right, Mr. Stark brought her to the new Avengers facility to be treated.”

I sighed in relief, “Can I see her?”

Happy nodded, “Come on, I’ll take you,” he said as he led me to his car. The drive there was silent and considerably long. Happy tried to make small talk, but I was too on edge from tonight’s events to talk.

The new Avengers facility was large and unbelievable. I would have loved to sit there and just stare at it, but I had more important things to do.

Mr. Stark greeted me at the door, “Hey kid, you did good tonight, I’m proud of you.”

“Where is she?” I said completely ignoring his compliment. “Come on,” Mr. Stark said, slinging his arm around my shoulder and walking me to where Y/N was.

She sat up right on a bed, a nurse tending to her wounds. She kept her gaze down, but I could still see that her cheeks were stained with tears and her eyes were red and watery.

Mr. Stark cleared his throat, causing the nurse and Y/N to look up in our direction.

Y/N’s eyes widened. “Peter!” She yelled as she jumped off the bed and ran to me, throwing her arms around my neck, burying her face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her waste and rest my chin on the top of her head.

“You’re alive, you’re alive,” she kept mumbling as if she couldn’t believe it. Her tears stained the front of my suit which I still had on.

She leaned back a bit and looked at me, “Oh my god, Peter,” she gasped, her fingers lightly tracing the injuries on my face. “What happened to you?”

“Hey, don’t worry about me alright? I’m okay.” I reassured her. She didn’t say anything, she simply wrapped her arms around me and brought me back into a hug.

We stayed like that for a few minutes before she whispered into my ear, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You didn’t need to be sucked into all of this, you were never supposed get hurt, none of this was supposed to happen. I’m so sorry,” I said, attempting to hold back tears.

Y/N let go from the hug and placed her hand on my cheek, I leaned in to her touch.

“This isn’t your fault Peter, no matter what I will always be by your side, I’m your best friend-”

“No. No, you are so much more than that to me, which is why I couldn’t put you into danger by telling you. I love you too much.”

Y/N stared at me for a few seconds before placing her other hand on my other cheek, and bringing my face down to meet hers. When our lips connected I could feel my heart instantly begin to race.

“I love you too, Peter,” She mumbled against my lips, “And I always will, no matter what.”

The Ryden Song Encyclopedia

“by @edgyemoepiphany (me) 

I’ve seen many Ryden lists floating around in the abyss of Tumblr, but now I’m creating an ultimate list with not only Panic! songs but Young Veins and solo work as well. This includes all popular fan theory, intrepretaions, & some of my theories as well. This will be mostly in order of release (or tracks on an album). Here we go! ☟  

This Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed) (written by Ryan) 

see under Northern Downpour for Seattle Theory 

  • later Brendon sings “I never said I’d leave this city, I never said I’d leave Seattle” 

I Have Friends in Holy Spaces (written by Brendon)

  • “You remind me of a former love that I once knew… We were holding hands walking through the middle of the street It’s fine with me, I’m just taking in the scenery“ 
  • “You remind me of a few of my famous friends
    Well, that all depends what you qualify as friends“ more than friends? 
  • “I’m just saying that I like it a lot
    More than you think, if the sun would come out and sing with me” sun/moon theory 

Northern Downpour (written by Ryan) 

  • ahh yes … the most popular Holy Grail of Ryden lore (unless you fancy Myrtle Beach more)  
  • XXX 
  • the birth of the Seattle Theory ☟
  • Ryan was in New York at his 21st birthday party. Brendon was in Seattle. Ryan supposedly (aka definitely) took the red-eye flight from NY to Seattle to be with Brendon. A fan took a picture with them in Seattle. Ryan was still wearing the same clothes! The fan stated that the pair went out together. 
  • Northern Downpour was written about this ☝ experience according to Ryden fans.   
  • “I missed your skin when you were east.” 
  • Ryan has also said that he always wanted to settle down in Seattle. 
  • also see This Green Gentleman for rest of Seattle Theory 
  • XXX  
  • Ryan once told Brendon to “pay special attention to the line”: “I know the World’s a broken bone, but melt you headaches call it home.” Later after the band split Brendon breaks down singing this line. 
  • Beebo cries during this song so much tbh. 
  • Brendon no longer performs it.  
  • “Hey moon, please forget to fall down” This line is believed to be sun/moon theory, but I personally think they mean they never want the night to end. 

When The Day Met The Night (written by Ryan) 

  • sun/moon theory 
  • 2nd verse male pronouns? 

Mad as Rabbits (written by Ryan) 

  • considered the Panic! LGBTQ+ anthem (along with G/G/B) 
  • “Reinvent Love” - originally a line from Arthur Rimbaud who was openly gay. He wrote, “I don’t like women. I like men. We must reinvent love.” Some believe this idea of love became the concept of Pretty Odd. 
  • In the final seconds of the final album with Panic! At The Disco as complete band together, Brendon and Ryan together harmonize on this defining line: Reinvent Love. 
  • Ryan often wore the reinvent love slogan. Except there is a photograph of him wearing Brendon ♥ on a headband. 

Take A Vacation! (written by Ryan - The Young Veins)  

  • sad because Ryan originally wrote this song among others to be on the next Panic! album after Pretty Odd 

Cape Town (written by Ryan - The Young Veins) 

  • The band performed its last show together here. 
  • This is where Ryden fans say Ryden broke up. 
  • When asked what happened in Cape Town, Zack responded: almost exactly the lyrics. 
  • “I loved you, I left you in Cape Town” 
  • “Woke me in the morning, asked me if I meant it, I didn’t” This is Ryan’s POV. In The Calendar by Brendon (a song that Brendon confirmed was about the breakup), he says “And I meant everything I said that night. I will come back to life but only for you.” 
  • Ryan said the split was like breaking up with a girlfriend. 

The Other Girl (written by Ryan - The Young Veins) 

  • “Don’t have much to say right now, Cause I’m trying to figure out, Why he’s with the other girl” 

Lie To The Truth (written by Ryan - The Young Veins) 

  • “When I started out writing you this song I was heels over head in love” Ryan started writing TAV while Panic! was still together. 
  • “But you had your doubts cause it took to long to finally see what I what I’d been doin wrong” 
  • “I tried to love you but You still loved him so I’ll ignore my heart and lie to the truth I’ll lie to the truth” 
  • “A love of mine once said ‘The best part about you was me’“ Brendon would say that.  
  • Here it is ladies & gentlemen & non identifying beautiful peoples: “I know I broke your heart. Mine is broken, too. Now if we’re even, then why are we both blue?” This completely sums up their breakup. And the icing on the cake? Here’s Brendon’s direct response from “Hallelujah”: “Being blue is better than being over it.” Cue explosions… and tears.   
  • Last lines of the song: “We tried to be true, but you still loved him, so I’ll keep my distance, And lie to the truth, I lie to the truth, I lie to the truth, Cause you lied to it too”
  • The truth that they were in love? Did they lie to it? 

And here we arrive to the V & V pit, where we can see how hard it is for Beebo to be subtle. P.S. It’s impossible. 

Memories (written by Brendon) 

  • “He was the congregation’s vagrant” Perhaps Brendon referring to himself since he used to be Mormon. “With an unrequited love” ahh there it is 

Hurricane (written by Brendon) 

  • “Cause they know, I know that they don’t look like me.
    Oh, they know, I know that they don’t sound like me.” Young Veins & Panic!’s difference in style
  • “But he didn’t come and speak to me, Or put my heart at ease.” 

Always (written by Brendon) 

  • “It was always you falling for me.” 

The Calendar (written by Brendon) 

  • This is previously mentioned. 
  • Confirmed to be about the band breaking up. 
  • “And I meant everything I said that night
    I will come back to life, But only for you” (see under Cape Town)
  • “Put another ex on the calendar, Summer’s on its deathbed” sun/moon theory  
  • “at night your body’s a symphony, and I’m conducting” I got nothin. 

Nearly Witches (originally written by Ryan but changed & used by Brendon)

  • Ryan made original demo. Brendon made it a very pop-like song. 
  • Brendon changed Ryan’s “as a boy” to “as a girl”. 
  • Brendon sings Ryan’s “Here I am composing a burlesque” very mockingly. 

Bittersweet (written by Brendon) 

  • “I’ve been to Tokyo and to South Africa” a response to Ryan’s Cape Town lyric 
  • “You could tell me secrets that I’ll probably repeat I’m not trying to hurt you, I just love to speak”  Ryan = shy, Brendon = big mouthed 

Nicotine (written by Brendon) 

  • Someone said Brendon has denied it, but in the intro it sounds like he is saying “I love you Ryan Ross but not right now.” 
  • Idk 

Lonely Moonlight (written by Ryan - solo) 

  • Sun/moon theory 
  • “regret” 
  • “I wandered through the sunshine, remembering when you were mine” 
  • “Someone I love, loves someone else” Oh. My. 

Where I Belong (written by Ryan - solo) 

  • aka rip my heart out and tear it to shreds… then throw it under a bus 
  • “If you wanna see the Sun…” sun/moon theory 
  • “I know I should have never left, I’d gotten tired of being buried” Ryan still wants to be a part of the band even though he didn’t get to sing his own words. He was supposed to be the frontman, and he was the lyricist but kinda got buried behind Brendon, who’s the lead singer. 
  • “I hope that I’ve still got your help” return?  

Hallelujah (written by Brendon) 

  • see under Lie To The Truth by Ryan 

Golden Days (written by Brendon) 

  • Old Panic! was the Golden Days  
  • Could “pile of polaroids” be A Picture With Books? 
  • This is so throam. 

House of Memories (written by Brendon)  

  • umm who is Brendon’s greatest memory - Ryan  
  • “I think of you from time to time, More than I thought I would, You were just too kind, And I was too young to know”
  • “Those thoughts of past lovers, They’ll always haunt me, I wish I could believe, You’d never wronged me” 

and the final crescendo of Ryden songs… 

Impossible Year (written by Brendon) 

  • Brendon wrote this song right after the band broke up. (This is confirmed.) Meaning “this impossible year” is his year without Ryan
  • “There’s no sunshine, this impossible year” sun/moon theory 
  • “There’s no sunshine
    This impossible year
    Only black days and sky grey
    And clouds full of fear *feeling of fear and sadness
    And storms full of sorrow
    That won’t disappear

    Just typhoons and monsoons
    This impossible year”
  • “There’s no good times
    This impossible year
    Just a beachfront of bad blood 
    And a coast that’s unclear *unclear future without Ryan
    All the guests at the party
    They’re so insincere
    They just intrude and exclude
    This impossible year“ 
  • There’s no you and me *!!!
    This impossible year
    Only heartache and heartbreak
    And gin made of tears
    The bitter pill I swallow
    The scars souvenir
    That tattoo, your last bruise
    This impossible year“
  • “There’s never air to breathe
    There’s never in-betweens
    These nightmares always hang on past the dream“ 
  • “There’s no sunshine
    There’s no you and me
    There’s no good times
    This impossible year” 
Nightmare Curse

What you need:
-square piece of paper
-scissors (optional)
-pen or pencil, I’d recommend red
-a paper cup, toilet paper tube, or something disposable
Recommended ingredients (you can taylor these to your own needs):
-dirt
-bugs or cobwebs
-dead or rotten anything (plants, bugs, food)
-blood, spit

Instructions:
1. Create a heart, either by cutting the paper into a heart shape, or looking up some origami
2. Write the victims name in the middle, you can write a sigil here if you want too
3. Leave this out overnight and channel all you your negitive energy into it
4. You can skip this step, but next I “drowned” it and envisioned them having nightmares of drowning
5. Next your going to want to envision things that they will have nightmares about while you do the next couple of steps. Rip the paper to shreds so that they may dream of animals tearing them apart
6. Put the paper shreds into your container. Pour the dirt on the so they will think of suffication amd claustrophobia
7. Put the bug or spiderweb in so they may dream of swarms of spiders or maggots eating them
8. Put in the rotten or dead plant, pr whatever you chose, so they may think lf death
9. I happened to have a stone that absorbed my bad dreams, so I put it in there to release them unto the victim
10. Next, close and crush the container so they will not escape
11. Finally, throw this in a trash can do they are doomed to be surrounded bye filth, alone, and surrounded by darkness. You may want to take out the trash after this

Falling Apart: Peter Parker

Word Count: 1.6k

Warning(s): Angst

Request: None

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

A/N: This is a really sad one, inspired by the song I Have Questions by Camila Cabello. I adore this song.


The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. As she walked down the hall hugging her books close to her chest, her mind raced. He had bolted again, and Y/N had no idea where he had gone off to. Peter had left her hanging high and dry for the umpteenth time, and she had no idea what to do.

Given no reasonable explanation, Y/N’s mind wandered the worst possibilities to explain Peter’s constant disappearances.

Cheating.

She knew Peter wasn’t of the sort, but he had just… taken off without reasonable explanation. She had spent months staying silent, willing herself to trust that Peter was off doing something important enough that he was forced to leave halfway through the only time you ever got to spend together. But in her attempt at convincing herself of what she wanted to believe, Y/N left herself vulnerable and susceptible to the attacks of her inner demons.

He found someone better.

He no longer wants you.

You’re foolish to have ever though he ever wanted you.

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