i will steal all your women

The OUAT fandom
  • Swan Queen shippers: So, we ship Swan Queen. Isn't it an awesome, beautiful ship? Too bad the writers are still queerbaiting.
  • Rumbelle shippers: We feel you. They screwed up our ship too. We see the chemistry btw.
  • Outlaw Queen shippers: We totally respect Swan Queen, but we ship Outlaw Queen. It was nice to see Regina happy for a change. But, yeah, one of them is dead so that sucks.
  • Swanfire shippers: Sorry you guys have to go through that, our second half also died and we still miss him. :( Most of us now ship Emma/happiness, so we're with you, Swan Queeners!!
  • Snowing shippers: Hey y'all, we just want to send you some love, our ship isn't handled in the best possible way either, but at least they are both alive and canonically true love.
  • Swan Queen shippers: Group hug!!
  • *Rumbelle, Outlaw Queen, Swanfire and Snowing shippers join in for the hug*
  • CSers: HA!!!!!!!!!! Your ships all suck. So glad Neal is dead, Rumbelle and Snowing only steal screen time from Killy the saint and ew.. two women as mothers of a child and lovers? It's a family show for God's sake! NOW BOW DOWN TO THE GLORIOUS ONE AND ONLY SHIP!!!!
Monster Rp starters

(This is for like monster people and Au’s, not something like a person so horrible they’ve become a monster)

“Hey you got your feathers all through my jacket again!”

“Did you just…eat that mouse…?”

“I just ate a mouse and I feel sick”

“Stop chasing your tail, your a grown (man/women/adult)”

“I know you love me but please let go of me, I can’t breathe”

“Jesus your a lot taller then I thought you were”

“Are you…making a nest? Why?”

“Do you need help putting your contact in?”

“What’s it like only having one eye?”

“So if your stomach has a mouth does that mean it eats too?”

“Your pointy ears are adorable”

“Please don’t steal my soul, I have class in like an hour and the soul stealing thing takes all day”

“Stop scratching the couch oh my god”

“Screw you I’m gonna scratch the couch if I want to”

“Please stop touching the light bulb, I know it’s pretty but you keep hurting yourself”

“Hey can you help me find my (body part)”

“Do you need help looking for (body part)”

“Hey I’ve lost my body! Help me look for it before it does something stupid!”

“Why are you eating catnip?”

“I just ate catnip and can’t feel my legs”

“Hey throw the toy I wanna catch it!”

“I don’t want to throw the toy…ugh fine give it here”

“I know it’s supposed to be cold today but the sun is out and if I go outside I’m probably going to catch on fire”

“I can make snow from my hands! Wanna see?!”

“Wow you can use magic?! Can you teach me!?”

“I know I’m not supposed to like a human, but I’ll make an exception because your cute”

“I just wanna tie you up in my web and cuddle you forever!”

“I need water, I’m getting dehydrated and I’m starting to smell like dead fish”

“I accidentally got slime all over your wall when I tried to kill a fly…I’m sorry”

“Hey it’s okay, it’s just a bit of slime”

“I accidentally set your clothes on fire when I was trying to fold them”

“Hey scratch my ear it’s itchy and you don’t have claws”

“I may or may not have got fur all over your couch when me and (random name) where playing”

“I accidentally broke your door and I’m sorry but maybe get a stronger door next time”

“This is the sixth door this month, stop slamming them please”

“Is it rude to ask if I could ride on you back?”

“What do you mean you want to ride me? I’m not a horse, well I mean, I’m not THAT kind of horse”

“How do you stop yourself from decaying? I mean, you are kinda dead after all”

“What’s it like having six tails?”

“Here, sit down and I’ll brush your wings”

“How did you get flees? Oh well time for a bath huh?”

“I wanna cuddle but I’m kinda scared I’ll crush you, so maybe you just sit in my lap and I hold you?”

“Hey I’m thirsty can I have some of your blood? Just to hold me off until we get home”

“Hey can you turn on the air conditioning? I know it’s like twenty degrees but I think I’m gonna melt”

“Hey pay attention to me! I want love!”

“I came here to get your soul but honestly I feel like if I take it, it’ll just Make me sad”

“Please take my Soul I’m so depressed”

“So I may or may not have accidentally broke my neck when I feel off the roof sooo, surprise! I’m a ghost now”

I am sooooo sick of the whole Kartrashian klan. I don’t want to see anyone fixing their rat mouths to defend them or say they started any “trend”, cause guess what, they didn’t. I’m so sick of black people getting pushed to the back of the line while people like them are getting pushed to the front. I don’t know how anyone, especially black people, can defend them seeing that I never hear them defending black people. If they aren’t going to help black people then they are just perpetrating and getting in the fucking way and need to go somewhere else with their bullshit. All these sluts do is steal shit and split on BBD. (And for the record, before anyone comes for me, I’m not calling them sluts because they do sexual acts with multiple different black men (no shade, no tea). I’m calling them sluts because they stole black women’s men on multiple occasions: Blac Chyna, Amber Rose, Trina. To me, you’re only a slut when you are knowingly a side chick or just steal someone’s man when you know they’re in a relationship. That’s why I called them sluts, so don’t come for me because I will tell you about yourself, your mama and your daddy.) Don’t worry Kardashain stans, I’m not putting all the blame on those fucking trash bags. Half the blame goes to the black men that hype them up. I wish black men would hype black women the way they hype up the Kardashians. I’m a HUGE advocate for women and women’s rights, but I just can’t support these women. All in all, I have heard Kylie and the other sisters get credited for acrylic nails, wigs, cornrows and hoop earrings. If I hear someone else say Kylie created a trend for something that’s been done by black people years before she was even born, I’M FUCKING BEATING THEIR ASS!

poison [ park chanyeol ] serialkiller!au kiddnapped!au

Genre: Dark smut
Pairing: Park Chanyeol x reader
Idea: Chanyeol is a serial killer, you are his next victim, but things don’t go in either yours or his way as you become each-others poison. + daddy kink, please?

A.N. / … *shrug* your wish is my command

The night was darker than usual as you descended from your apartment.

Stepping into yet another cold evening, a cool breeze suddenly blew some flyers into you, which were previously attached to the stone wall beside you. Sighing, you picked up the papers that had fallen, catching a glimpse of their content.

Wanted criminals.

A lump formed in your throat, but you quickly shook the feeling off and decided to take the time to put the papers back into their place as they could save a person’s life. The criminals looked normal, as they were only human, too. But if you lack humanity, can you truly be called a human being? After a few minutes, you finally succeeded, but by now, you’ve missed your bus. Contemplating taking a fast walk to your night job, your thoughts reeled back to the monsters on the wall and immediately changed your mind. Whipping out your phone, you started to look for a cab’s phone number, when suddenly a car horn sounded loudly, making you jump.

Startled, you looked towards the source and found an all-black cab parked right next to you. You slightly relaxed and let out a small smile at the driver’s direction, before getting in and sighing contently at the warmth inside.

“Thank you so much,” you spoke, your voice friendly and your eyes on the seat-belt you were putting on yourself. Safety first. “It’s freezing outside.”

“Dressed like a whore, yeah, I would believe it’s cold for you.”

“Excuse me?”

At first, you couldn’t believe the words you heard from a complete stranger. Looking up finally, you saw a man’s silhouette in the front of the car, just as you’ve seen in the beginning, but now, you noticed something else.

He was wearing a black mask.

Your breath hitched in your throat as your hand grasped the handle and your ears recognised the sound of doors locking. Eyes wide and short breaths leaving your mouth, you faced the stranger again.

“Tch, tch, little girls that dress like whores should be careful when walking the streets at night. Oh and by the way, your phone can’t work inside of this car. And don’t even try to break the windows; you wouldn’t be the only one who failed at that.”

You couldn’t even scream, terror filling every part of your body as the black partition separated the space between you and your kidnapper, and the car started moving forwards.

___

You didn’t know how much time passed as your phone’s battery died after a few minutes of you desperately trying to call for help, unsuccessfully. For now, you could pretend that you were simply riding a cab. Just a simple cab ride with tears streaming down your face. But you couldn’t pretend for too long.

“Get out before I drag you,” a voice startled you as the door suddenly opened, revealing the man in the mask. Unable to comprehend his words over the constant repeat of the word “danger” in your head, you were frozen to your spot. Growling impatiently, the man reached down and grabbed hold of your seat-belt. A pleasant smell of petrichor and the forest filled your senses as his body loomed over yours, but it was replaced by the feeling of his arms around your body as you unconsciously welcomed his heat. He roughly dragged you out into the coldness of the night, your feet finding a smooth surface beneath them and your eyes meeting darkness with a single light coming from the light bulb above a large, wooden door. Forgetting your situation, curiosity took hold of your mind and mouth.

“Where are we?”

A painful gasp left your mouth as you felt his fingers make their imprint on your skin, not letting go of it afterwards, and you were certain it would leave a bruise.

“Are you stupid? Do you think I’m stupid?! Oh, of course you think I’m stupid, all of you young whores are the same. You think I wouldn’t notice you sleeping with that bastard Kris, Yoona?! YOU WHORE!”

You were speechless as the mentally ruined man proceeded to drag you through the wooden door, slamming it behind him and flicking on the lights in the process.

The lights didn’t do much to contain your fears.

A huge space that you could imagine was once beautiful was now ruined just as the man next to you. With the walls close to crumbling, you felt a strange emotion close to pity arise in your chest. ’Stupid,’ you told yourself, erasing the sympathetic feelings. He was not worth your pity. And the chains positioned by the single mattress in the middle of the room proved that.

“There’s no point in escaping,” he spoke up, his voice back to its low tone. You looked up to him, only now realising just how tall he was. Great, another thing to add to the “why my kidnapper is frightening” list, right below the “he exists”.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he growled and you looked away from his black mask, while he guided you towards the center of the room. You risked getting hurt again and cautiously asked.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re capable of emotions.”

His answer surprised you more than the fact that he pushed you to fall onto the large mattress. Now free of his hold, you felt braver.

“And who said I am not?! You are the kidnapper!”

Whipping out a silver knife from his jacket faster than you could imagine, he crouched down to your level, the dark eyes behind the mask intensely staring into yours as he pressed the weapon to your neck.

“Serial killer, baby girl, get your accusations right. As for your question, I think your mini dress answers it.”

Ignoring all rationality and the knife to your throat, you pushed at his chest in rage.

“Oh, a serial killer is such a better title, isn’t it?! And what’s the matter with my clothes? I wear them because my sister bought them with the little money she has as she can’t afford to buy me bigger and warmer clothes! All my parents left us were mountains of debt to pay and scars to remind us of our shitty past! Yeah, call me a freaking slut! But don’t meddle with my mentality.”

You were pushed backwards, your back hitting the uncharacteristically soft mattress and your eyes widened at the man looming above your helpless body. You flinched as his hand rose to your face and prepared yourself for a hit, but a sudden soft touch sent electricity that shook you out of your fear for a surprised second.

“Then prove to me that you’re a good girl and I’ll let you live.”

With your mind in a frenzy, you nodded vigorously at the man above you.

“How?”

“Let me have you.”

Before you could answer, a piece of cold metal clutched around your wrist, cuffing you to the spot. You turned to the stranger to yell at him, but your breath hitched in your throat as he ripped off the mask from his face.

He’s beautiful. And familiar. The wanted criminals. The list. The murders.

You were shocked to say the least and making use of your state, the handsome young man crashed his lips onto yours. You were unresponsive for a while, but after a few moments, you felt yourself unable to breathe. Noticing your tremor, he moved away, his eyes darker than before.

“I meant what I said. If you’re no use to me, I will get rid of you,” now, without the mask, he pronounced the words more clearly, and it was even more frightening. “By the way, was that your first kiss?”

Slowly reacting, you nodded.

The man smiled, before you opened your mouth.

“Did you do this to the other six women too? Promise freedom, steal their virginity and then kill them?”

He was frozen for a while and then growled, his hands roughly pressing against your skin and you feared he would cut you.

“They were all whores who deserved what they got,” anger was spilling over his words and you shivered. “Or maybe you want to be a little whore and think frustrating me would work in your favour.

"In that case, congratulations. You’re not getting away, ever.”

His skin was against yours once more and his kiss was rougher that the first. Stubbornly not giving into it, you felt a sharp and cool object press against your neck and understood the notion. Reluctantly, you kissed back and a deep sigh was released from his warm body. Your bodies moulded together into one as he separated your legs and positioned himself in-between. Breathless, you broke the hypnotising kiss and stared at him as he did at you.

His eyes were dark like they had been all night, but now you were sure it was because his hands were on your hips, the knife forgotten, and slowly trailing up the side of your body. You didn’t move or make a sound as they did, rejoicing and dreading the feeling of his hands on you. He didn’t stop moving upwards until both hands were around your neck, giving the slightest amount of pressure to it. He leaned his head forward just enough that your lips were barely touching, his eyes flickering to them and back.

“I’m going to fuck you hard and you’re going to like it.” He growled, before smashing his lips against yours, again.

His body pressed down, pushing you further into the make-shift bed. You whimpered as his rough actions tore you mentally in half. Your mind surrendered to the darkness and with that, so did your body. One hand left your throat and made its path trailing softly all the way down your chest, causing uncontrollable shivers to spread, before grabbing hold of your dress with both hands and ripping it in half. Gasping, you just looked at him with an incredulous look in your eyes, and despite the situation, the red-haired man above her let out a breathy laugh. You were bewildered by the beautiful sight, before you realised that you nearly mistook a devil as an angel.

“My name is Chanyeol,” again, you stared at him in confusion as he bit his lip. “There’s no point in hiding, since you’re not getting away from me. And your name is going to be Babygirl.”

His hands were all over you again. One roaming freely everywhere, and the other slowly reaching your core. Before his fingers touched your treasure, he hovered his mouth over it, blowing cold air, making you shudder at the unexpected pleasure. Immediately after that, one finger was poking inside, making you squeal at the new, uncomfortable feeling.

“You’ll get used to it,” the boy stated indifferently, his mouth attaching itself on your sensitive skin. As if the stimulation wasn’t enough, he added another finger, making you trash around, trying to grab hold of something. “Fuck, if you’re so tight around my fingers, I can’t wait to feel my cock inside you.”

His movements sped up and your lip was bleeding from biting into it too hard. Chanyeol soon noticed the small amount of blood on your mouth and stopped his assault on your neck to suck the liquid from your lips. That small action nearly brought you to the top, but just as you were a second away from bliss, he stopped. After seeing his new toy’s expression, the red-haired boy smirked.

“Don’t worry. Daddy’s gonna take care of you.”

And Chanyeol removed his black clothing to reveal an enormous monster, equivalent to its owner. You gasped, moving away from him as you struggled against the chains that held you captive. Your fearful eyes watched the serial killer as he started walking closer and closer, until he reached you and pushed you back into your previous position. One hand found your hair and tugged softly, while the other positioned his member at your entrance. In a short moment, he was pushing inside, making you scream loudly.

“Relax, Babygirl. I don’t want to hurt you. Yet.”

You shook your head from side to side, your eyes shut tight with tears unceasingly falling. But you did try to relax, because you knew that it will cause you less pain. You felt helpless and you knew it was helpless, the situation you were in. So you rested your head on one side with a plan to wait for the pain to go away and for the monster to be done with his business. But he did not want you to drift away into your thoughts and escape the reality, in which he was fucking you.

“Dolly,” he grunted, making you snap your eyes to his. “Daddy wants you to look at him.”

You started to shake your head again, before he grabbed you by the neck, making you gasp at the feeling. Your eyes were full of fear and he loved it. Pleasure rolled inside of him in enormous waves and he started going slowly in and out. He started moaning and you couldn’t help but be turned on by him and his dominating actions.

“Yes, Dolly, that’s it,” he spoke when he saw that your breathing hitched, and started pushing into you even rougher, his tempo in a crescendo. “Fuck, you’re so tight, Babygirl.”

At the next, especially hard thrust, you couldn’t hold it back anymore. You moaned and then immediately gasped as his mouth attached itself to your breast. Soon, Chanyeol reached an unbelievable speed, causing the innocent girl under him to grab hold of the unbreakable chains. You suddenly saw your situation so clearly; your long legs spread out on each side of the handsome devil as he was thrusting repeatedly and unceasingly with his long and hard dick, with one muscular hand on your breast and the other in your hair, and his mouth, oh, his mouth doing wonders on the other breast, grazing the sensitive skin with his teeth and then sensually licking it, and all the while still picking up speed, fucking your body thoroughly.

“I can’t,” you cried out, feeling completely drained of energy. “No, stop, I can’t!”

He didn’t stop or slow down. In fact, he sped up, his movements so much rougher than before. You felt a sharp needle of pain inside of you, before suddenly, it was gone. The pain was still there, slight and hiding in the shadows, but there was a new-found feeling brewing in your body; pleasure. Lots and lots of it. You had never before felt so much overwhelming pleasure and so your eyes saw stars and your head became empty. Out of animal instinct, you arched your back slightly and Chanyeol was immediately hitting deeper and harder into you.

“Do you want me to stop?” he suddenly asked.

You were bewildered. Stop. A word you never expected him to suggest. You were thrown in a confused state, not knowing what to do. Of course you wanted him to stop, but at the same time, you never wanted the pleasure to end. You heard a slap of two skins and then felt the pain that followed. Looking down, you saw your left butt-cheek covered in reddness.

“Well,” he groaned, impatiently. “Do you?”

“Yes!” you forced yourself to scream out.

And he immediately stopped.
Buried deep inside of you.

“Now what,” he devilishly grinned at your trembling body, his eyes a personification of lust as he took in your vulnerable state. You couldn’t take it any longer. You needed something. Anything.

“Please!”

“Please what?”

You knew what he wanted you to say as you saw his gaze flicker between your eyes.

“Please fuck me, Daddy!”

Chanyeol groaned, throwing his head back.

“I really love it when you beg, Babygirl.”

He started moving again and you nearly cried in happiness as you felt him building up the pleasure you felt before even faster and stronger this time.

“Ah!” you managed to cry out as his teeth grazed the side of your sensitive neck, and his long dick pounded mercilessly into you. “Please, Chanyeol, please don’t stop!”

“Not planing to, my Babygirl. You want it harder, hmm? Until all you can do is scream? I’ll give you harder, my sweet little whore,” he spoke evenly and lowly into your ear, increasing his pace immediately, a vicious energy that left you with your mouth open and body convulsing.

Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” his hand reached for your neck again, forcing you to meet his eyes. He never stopped the tempo, but his movement seemed more smooth now. “And all mine. Who do you belong to, Dolly?”

You tried to form words, but your mind betrayed you as it only arched your back and made your hands claw at the chains around them. A slap resonated through the room and you let out a cry, tears falling from your eyes caused by both pain and pleasure. The grip around your throat tightened and you gasped, finding the serial killer’s menacing and lust-filled eyes once again.

“Y-yours, D-daddy. All y-yours.”

He smiled a heavenly smile, seemingly satisfied with your answer, as he started roughly thrusting hard and deep.

“Does my little slut want to come now? Is she a good girl, who deserves to come for her Daddy?”

“Y-yes, Daddy, please make me!”

You didn’t know where your mind was, all that you could comprehend was the immense pleasure which only grew with every one of his moves. You were incredibly sensitive and every slight change in his attack resulted in a loud moan released from your pretty, abused mouth.

“Yeah, you like that, don’t you, little slut?” he cooed, his voice like dark silk, an enormous contrast to his rapid motion.

Unable to answer, he clutched onto your legs and spread them wide apart, pounding even harder, even faster, even deeper into your pooling heat.

“Come for Daddy,” he growled as he put your body close as a lover’s, his face buried in your neck and his stiff manhood unceasingly moving against your tight walls, causing them to break.

You screamed loudly, unable to stop yourself from cumming all around him, your cunt clamped down on his cock viciously.

He did not stop after that. He only sped up, using your helpless and spent body to his own sick will. Grabbing you harshly, he raised himself up with one hand holding your arched back, forcing your chests to meet.

He grunted with every thrust, shivering as you clenched the muscles of your pussy even harder. As you screamed, he let out a roar, slapping your hole with his cock. It drove in so deep, too deep, and you felt harsh pain rip through you, but you loved it, you loved it, you loved it.

Finally, his whole body twitched as his cock throbbed and pounded inside of you. Your eyes rolled back as another wave of extasy crashed and he released with a thick explosion of cum deep inside of you. Thrusting through both of your orgasms, you felt yourself being able to breathe at last.

Your eyes met his as he removed himself from your insides and you couldn’t help but shudder at the intensity of his darkness. His incredulously soft and large hands cupped your face, before pecking your swollen lips gently.

“Babygirl, you are mine now. I’m never letting you go.”

And as he released you from the chains, covering the both of you with a silky blanket and tugging you close to his warm body, you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking, that isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Time Alone (M)

**Late like freaking always, but I supposed it’s better late than never lol also sorry if it seems rushed- I’m exhausted and a tad under the weather again**

Genre: Smut

Length: 1,300+

Kinks: Daddy kink/hints of dd/lg, exhibitionism, dirty talk

Originally posted by monsta-x-cuties

Though there were tons of people around Wonho couldn’t help but to have every ounce of his attention fixed on you. Everyone else appeared to be so plain and dull in comparison. 

The burgundy dress you were wearing hugged your curves perfectly and the black wedgies booties you had decided to wear made your legs look a mile long. You looked so delicate and delicious- all he found himself wanting to do was ravage you; he needed to hear your angelic moans, he needed to feel your tightness around him.

He smiled brightly the moment he noticed you looking over at him, expertly hiding all the sin that was going through his head. As he watched you talk to the girls his friends brought as their dates, he silently decided he couldn’t wait any longer. Standing from his seat, he made his way over to you. 

Once he was finally beside you, he turned to the group of girls, flashing that cheesy, charming smile of his, “May I steal my girlfriend from you girls for a moment?” And just as they nodded their heads, he took your hand in his and led you to a less crowded area. 

Keep reading

Prompt List of Sarcasm [2]

Prompt List of Sarcasm: One 

  1. “I just know something bad is going to happen.” 
  2. “You don’t look like an angel.” 
  3. “This is who I am. Nobody said you had to like it.” 
  4. “Don’t talk. Please.” 
  5. “I’ll make my own decisions, thank you.” 
  6. “This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” 
  7. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.” 
  8. “Whoop! Whoop! Over-reaction alert!” 
  9. “It’s so ugly… I LOVE IT!” 
  10. “You lucky bastard.” 
  11. “We’re young. We’re fine. Let’s do some damage.” 
  12. “Who’s the bitch now, bitch?” 
  13. “I picked a helluva a day to quit drinking.” 
  14. “What’s that? Your stripper money?” 
  15. “Don’t you just hate those things you say that make you feel really blonde?” 
  16. “When I say problem, I mean global crisis.” 
  17. “Well, you don’t need to be snarky about.” 
  18. “If KARMA doesn’t hit you, I’ll do it.” 
  19. “Did you just fall?” “No, I attacked the floor.” “Backwards?” “I’m freaking talented!” 
  20. “Of course I can see you. I’m not blind you know.” 
  21. “The world can be amazing when you’re slightly strange.” 
  22. “Life is too short to wear boring clothes.” 
  23. “You throw punches, I throw insults.” 
  24. “Wow, I wish I could speak whale.” 
  25. “Sometimes I forget my middle name.” 
  26. “Let me just pound your head into the cement quick.” 
  27. “Yeah, I got that from your 600 voicemails.” 
  28. “I love the way your foul little mind works.” 
  29. “Haha, made you look.” 
  30. “Have you ever tried to run in heels?” 
  31. “Oh honey, I have a fake laugh with your name written all over it.” 
  32. “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth.” 
  33. “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 
  34. “Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.” 
  35. “Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case, they are nothing.” 
  36. “How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open.” 
  37. “I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.” 
  38. “Well aren’t we just a freakin’ ray of sunshine.” 
  39. “I’m the dumbest smart person you’ll ever meet.” 
  40. “You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.”
  41. “Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?” 
  42. “I could do that, but I won’t.” 
  43. “How come you’re here? I thought the zoo is closed at night…” 
  44. “You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me.” 
  45. “Oh, honey, don’t feel bad. There’s a lot of people out there who don’t have talent!” 
  46. “I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?” 
  47. “Sorry… I wasn’t born with a filter.” 
  48. “At least there’s one thing good about your body. It isn’t as ugly as your face.” 
  49. “I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your ass.” 
  50. “People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.” 
  51. “You grow on people, but so does cancer.” 
  52. “It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.” 
  53. “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.” 
  54. “If I throw a stick, will you leave?” 
  55. “Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.” 
  56. “And that’s why women living longer.” 
  57. “Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.” 
  58. “I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.” 
  59. “If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn’t be murder, it would be an apocalypse!” 
  60. “This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.” 
  61. “Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?” 
  62. “I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?” 
  63. “Don’t let your mind wander, it’s far too small to be let out on it’s own.” 
  64. “Don’t you realize that there are already enough people to hate in the world without you putting in so much effort to give us another?” 
  65. “I don’t know what makes you some dumb but it really works.” 
  66. “Don’t thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure.” 
  67. “I’m impressed. I’ve never met such a small mind inside a big head before.” 
  68. “You are not as bad as people say. You are much, much worse.” 
  69. “Please keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.” 
  70. “What do I say?” “I hear “hello” is really popular.” 
  71. “My ex had one very annoying habit. Breathing.” 
  72. “Please don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to myself.” 
  73. “You did what with who for how many muffins?” 
  74. “Heaven won’t take me and hell’s afraid I’ll take over.” 
  75. “I’m still drunk from last night.” 
  76. “I’m sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.” 
  77. “Zombies ear brains. You’re safe.” 
  78. “If only closed minds came with closed mouths.” 
  79. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d bot be wrong.” 
  80. “Babe, if a woman tell you “You’re right” that’s called sarcasm.” 
  81. “Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.” 
  82. “There’s someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.” 
  83. “I want to say I’m hear to listen to your problems, but I’m not a therapist and I don’t like you.” 
  84. “Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same times?” 
  85. “I’m actually not funny. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.” 
  86. “Oh, you don’t like me? Well have a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck.” 
  87. “I’m sorry I slapped you… But you didn’t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.” 
  88. “It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced ‘haha fuck you’.” 
  89. “I’m not jealous, I just don’t like the bitch.” 
  90. “Wanna see how far my six inch heel can go up your ass?” 
  91. “Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.” 
  92. “You look like something I drew with my left/right hand.” 
  93. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.” 
  94. “I’ve got a good heart but this mouth…” 
  95. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.” 
  96. “I take super hot showers to practice burning in hell.” 
  97. “If you don’t like me and still watch everything I do, BITCH YOU ARE A FAN.” 
  98. “Sweetie, I’m gonna need you to put those few remaining brain cells together and work with me here, okay?” 
  99. “Have you ever had those days when you are holding a stick and everybody looks like a pinata.” 
  100. “The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.”


Request: [x] Masterlist: [x]

I just got back from seeing Wonder Woman...

(Note: has Spoilers)

And I am filled with a profound sadness that DC and Marvel don’t exist in the same universe because here is the movie/TV series I want desperately to exist: 

In the aftermath of the movie, Etta the sword-wielding secretary and Diana grow close. Etta helps steer Diana through the war machine to where she can do the most good, and eventually WW1 is over and Diana decides to stay ‘in the world.’ Etta stays close as her guide, cultural translator, and exasperated best friend. 

“And you’re basically immortal. You’re going to be that beautiful for centuries. Well, the rest of us can just may as well pack it in now.” 

Then WW2 happens. And Diana is pulled back in again, Etta comes with her, because Etta is the only person Diana listens to even five percent of the time. Etta is older now. She is supposed to be retired. She is still round and friendly-shaped but she has no time for your shit and her bestie is an Amazon. 

And that’s when she meets a young officer named Peggy Carter.

‘All I Wanted Was To Be A Professional Horseshoe Player’: 5 Questions With Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj is the world’s most famous female rapper, and between her high-profile feuds and fearless lyrics, she’s not afraid to let you know it. We asked the visionary five questions about her incredible career, and her answers will blow you away!

1. How did you get your start in music?

Honestly, I never set out to be a rapper. In fact, all I wanted when I was a kid was to be a professional horseshoe player. The first time I ever sang was when I was desperate to find a place to practice playing horseshoes and decided to add a song to my Craigslist ad when it wasn’t getting any responses. The rest is history.

2. What was your highest moment as a performer?

Last year, I was the first female rapper to make Ointment magazine’s annual Top 10 Rappers Who Got Stung By The Wasps While Misguidedly Trying To Steal Their Honey list. Growing up, I didn’t even know that women could rap or get stung by wasps, but now? Young girls everywhere can see me doing it.

3. What was your lowest moment as a performer?

Definitely when I was fired as Pepsi’s spokesperson after I got caught dumping 500,000 gallons of Pepsi into the ocean. I never thought they would pull the plug over something as petty as that, especially when in the video you clearly hear me saying, “This Pepsi goes out to all my dolphins!”

4. Is there any place you won’t perform?

I won’t perform in Hawaii because it doesn’t meet my standards for landmass. For other places I won’t perform, I’ll refer you to my mixtape Places That Are Too Watery And Thus I Won’t Go There.

5. What would you say to people just starting out in the business?

I would say, don’t give up. My first single bombed because it was just me saying the Pledge of Allegiance, with absolutely no changes or background music. But did I let that stop me? No! You can achieve anything you put your mind to. Just try not to plagiarize any sacred texts or oaths along the way.

Baby Girl ::Roman Reigns::

Requested By: @m-a-t-91

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warning(s): None

Word Count: 403

Summary/Request: Hi 🙂 could you do a flirty Roman with the new hair stylist please? Roman/Reader

A/N: BOOM! PREGNANT! lol i’m funny.

Originally posted by aeternuslibero

Tagging: @caramara3 @thebutterflygirl16 @m-a-t-91

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2D Animators, Anywhere?

So, short animated cutscenes. It’d be nice to have some for my projects, yeah?! But let’s be real here, we all know I’m thinking about Women of Xal and animating me some Velvet and Xuna…

But whoolawd does Google love making it difficult to find quality ones that are actually available for commission. So now I’m asking if Tumblr knows of any, or can reblog this to animators that may fit what we’re looking for!

What We’re Looking For

  • Polished, Skilled 2D Anime-Styled Animation for ‘Women of Xal’ (Link)
  • Can create simple animations up to 1:30
  • Works well with contracts and deadlines
  • NOT looking for western-centric styles of near-any sort.

Compensation [Choose 1]

  • Whatever your rates are (Haggle-Free Zone: Your Rates or Bust!)
  • 10-3000 Minutes of an Original Soundtrack For Your Project, Commercial Use (OST Length Depending on Amount of Animation. 3000 Minutes = Around 100 Tracks, Demo Reel Here)
  • Hybrid: Lowered Rates For Original Music. So a bit of both the Previous.

Compensation II [Regardless of Previous Choice]

  • Full Women of Xal Game (PC/Mac/Steam)
  • Women of Xal Official Soundtrack
  • Revenue Share: 0-60% of Steam Profits (Percentage dependant on type of compensation or animation rate.)

Potential FAQ

How do I know I’ll get paid for the work?

  • If we’re under a contract, you’re paid beforehand!

I’m more of a ‘I’ll get to it when I get to it’ kind of person. Is that fine?

  • No, sorry. If this Kickstarter fails or gets overwhelmingly delayed, my future projects and reputation are sunk. Punctuality is a must.

Hey! I’ve been watching this project and wondering how you have an animation budget???

  • Commissions! Endless, endless music commissions. And more to come. For those worried I’d take it out of the Kickstarter funds, don’t worry! The staff -literally the entire staff- have their money already, so I very literally couldn’t spend it even if I decided to go silly and steal it.

Will this hurt Women of Xal’s schedule?

  • End of 2018 is still our goal. All cutscenes with 2D are intended to be short and relatively light on the animation. Like those budget saving anime we know and love so much. Talking and facial expressions will be the main priority. Ideally, it’ll take much less time than say, several fight scenes. If it’s still a problem…we’ll cut 2D animation!

Contact Information:

Email: TeamProjectTrinity@live.com

Please send attachments or links of your animation portfolio, your typical rates, and any comments or questions you may have!

WOW  WHITE PEOPLE, you really trying it. Look at you, altering your bodies with silicone, filling your lips, tanning your skin, fattening your ass and putting your hair into box braids and cornrows. What fucking idiots. Thing is I ain’t even surprised by this white nonsense , what bothers me more than these ugly asses trying to be black is the black men ( not all )who ACCEPT THIS, and SUPPORT THIS, yet bashes  black Woman and hate & shame  them for the VERY EXACT same thing these whytes are doing. And degrading them, by black men  doing that to their own women is only enforcing the notion that white women does it better, and that white people in general can steal from our culture, wear our skin, take our bodies and throw us in the trash  when they are finished. But we ARE NOT COSTUMES. black Women !!!  Our culture !!! Black culture !!!! African culture !!!! It is NOT your costume !! So dear white people, stop pretending to be us, stop wearing our hair, our skin, and our clothing also stop sexualizing us and the things we wear  stop trying to act the way we act, and stop using our aave, it ain’t for you!!! It never has and never was !! End this shit!!! And black men stop supporting this shit!!! Instead start supporting the women who naturally have it, who actually own it. Not the people who have stole it. WE ARE NOT COSTUMES.

Things that the Shepherds aren’t allowed to do anymore.
  1. Chrom, please stop spinning the Falchion and stabbing it into the ground after every victory. We’re still patching up holes in the training room.
  2. Whoever’s putting bear meat in Frederick’s dinner needs to stop. He will kill you.
  3. When someone asks for the time, “Vaike Time” is not an appropriate response.
  4. Tharja is the queen of Robin’s heart.
  5. Tharja, stop cursing my pens.
  6. Sully, Vaike, no more arm wrestling. We’re running out of tables.
  7. Cherche, you may not let Minerva eat Risen anymore. Last time she threw up a live zombie in the barracks.
  8. Stop switching the men’s and women’s bathing signs. Lon’qu is pale white.
  9. Virion, while I’m sure shooting arrows at apples impresses the women, it’s a waste of food.
  10. Nowi, please don’t tell Kellam to play hide-and-seek with you anymore. We couldn’t find him in time for the march last time.
  11. Anna, no more selling Owain “special rare swords”.
  12. Gerome is not a Dark Knight. I don’t get why you all call him that.
  13. Gaius, you can’t steal candy from Nah and not expect retaliation.
  14. Nah, you can’t melt Gaius’ candy and not expect retaliation.
  15. Libra, prayer on the battlefield is natural. Please do not drop to your knees mid fight to pray though.
  16. Inigo, stop using your left hand to fight. You don’t need a handicap in battle. I don’t care if the village girls swoon.
  17. Panne, no hiding Lon’qu’s potatoes.
  18. Lon’qu, stop hiding Panne’s carrots.
  19. Miriel, you can’t just light random things on fire for “science”.
  20. Frederick, you can’t just light random things on fire for…reasons.
  21. Cordelia, I understand you’re trying to be good at every skill you can. But stop trying to out eat Stahl.
  22. Please.
  23. The next person to tell Kjelle that it’s her turn in the mess hall is dishonorably discharged.
  24. Do not tell Morgan fake memories of the past. Morgan did not once “slay thirty Risen with a single belch.”
  25. Stop pretending Ricken is one of the children who came from the future. You’re going to make him cry.
  26. Lissa, stop pranking other Shepherds. Especially Gangrel. He will cut your other twintail off.
  27. Walhart. The entire army can’t live off vegetables alone. Cancel the shipment of 3,00 potatoes. We don’t have enough gold for that.
  28. We’ll find gold.
  29. Go away, Lon’qu.
  30. Priam. I know you only eat meat. I didn’t think I needed to say this but…not everyone in the army can eat rabbit.
  31. Whoever painted a Brand on Lissa’s forehead needs to stop. She was really excited.
  32. Severa, stop trying to “teach Olivia to have a backbone.” I don’t think she can handle any more of your…”training”.
  33. Gaius, stop spreading rumors about Chrom eating an unpeeled orange.
  34. Gregor, you can’t offer mead to the children. Especially Noire. She’ll either pass out or get angry and I don’t know which is worse.
  35. Stop asking Basilio “what makes him a good demoman.” He doesn’t even use pyrotechnics. That’s a ridiculous accusation.
  36. Flavia, your drinking contests with Gregor have got to stop. We’re out of ale already. We bought some yesterday.
  37. Brady can’t help what makes him cry. Inigo, no singing sad songs as you pass him.
  38. Yarne, one meal without carrots will not make you go extinct.
  39. We are not placing bets on whether Emm or Morgan will get their memory back first.

Inspired by http://guywiththeface23.tumblr.com/post/145211586861/things-corrins-army-is-no-longer-allowed-to-do

@guywiththeface23

Can you please do the rfa reactions to a jealous mc? Pretty please

-anon


Yoosung:

  • He’s a cute dork
  • so ofc he’s gonna have girls coming up to him often on campus
  • and he’s so oblivious to their obvious flirting PROTECT HIM
  • Today one girl was offering freaking muffins to Yoosung
  • She flirted with him frequently
  • Oh boy, were you pissed off
  • Not wanting to make a scene, you stormed off and went to the cafeteria without him
  • It took a few minutes, but he took note of your absence and excused himself from the conversation he was having
  • (hah he forgot her muffins)
  • He found you sitting alone at a table, violently stabbing your lunch with your fork, and a cute pout on your face
  • He sat across from you and shot you a worried look, “Are you okay, MC?”
  • “…Do you ever notice those girls flirting with you?”
  • “Wha-? I just thought they were being nice to me!…MC, are you jealous?”
  • You dropped your head in shame, “Yeah.”
  • He panicked and stumbled over to your side and hugged you
  • “Gaaaah! I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to feel that way! I’ll be more aware, I promise. FORGIVE ME”
  • Nnnngh you can’t stay mad at him

Jaehee:

  • You visited her a few times at work to drop off lunch and chat
  • Today you decided to hang out in the break room and get some coffee
  • “Oh, there’s no more lids for the cups. I’ll get the ones from the other break room, Jaehee, I’ll be right back.”
  • You went and got said lids
  • and when you came back there was this guy talking to Jaehee
  • and eyeing her up and down
  • “So, you busy after work today? Because I was wondering if–”
  • He didn’t even get to finish his question
  • “HEY ASS, SHE’S ONLY GAY FOR ME. YOU GOT THAT?”
  • and then you threw your scorching hot coffee at him
  • He ran out immediately
  • “I was going to refuse him either way, MC. There wasn’t a need to be so jealous.”
  • “Well if I don’t protect you, creeps like him are gonna get you!”
  • “I appreciate your motive, but we’re in major trouble for doing that.”

Zen:

  • Fangirls never bothered you
  • It was her that bothered you
  • Zen brought you along to see one of his rehearsals
  • and there she fucking was
  • Echo Girl
  • Her mere presence just bothered you to no end
  • The fact that Zen was working with her even after the whole ordeal made you irritated
  • You didn’t even want to see them act together
  • So you just decided to hang in Zen’s dressing room
  • About an hour later he finally came in to clean off for the day
  • “Oh? You weren’t out there watching me? What’s wrong, babe?”
  • “Why don’t you go back out there and hang with Echo Girl?”
  • Your mouth immediately clamped shut; you really hadn’t meant to say that
  • Zen chuckled, “Is that what this is about? It sounds to me like someone’s jeaaalouuss!”
  • He wrapped his arms around you and kissed every part of your face
  • “You’re so cute.”
  • “You’re an ass.”
  • “I’m a gentleman, excuse me.”
  • “Just kiss me, you idiot.”

Jumin:

  • “Stupid dinner party…stupid dress…stupid fancy women…” you grumbled as you walked onto the balcony for some fresh air
  • You were talking with Jumin until a group of women stole him away, and he left without saying a word
  • It wasn’t fun always being outshone by such…lavish women
  • “Hm? MC, what’re you doing out here? It’s cold.” You heard him shuffle off his coat and place it around your shoulders
  • “I’ll be fine, Jumin, just…go talk to those women or something, they’re much more interesting than I am.”
  • “……”
  • “What’s wrong, MC?”
  • “Nothi-”
  • “MC.”
  • You sighed, “Alright, alright, I’m jealous okay? I’m jealous of those women for having your attention, I’m jealous of how…elegant they are! They’re so elegant and–and graceful and poised! And me? I was microwaving a Hot Pocket at midnight in my underwear last night!” you took a deep breath after your rant
  • “MC, I’ve been around refined women all my life. If I liked those type of women, I would have been dating one a long time ago, but I don’t. I like you just how you are.”
  • He pulled you into a hug and rested his chin on your head
  • “Sorry, I was just kinda worked up.”
  • “It’s alright. I’ll try to be more attentive so this won’t happen again. Now let’s go back inside.”

707:

  • You weren’t jealous of a person, per se
  • You were jealous of that white, furry fluffball he was playing with
  • A few days ago Saeyoung managed to steal Elizabeth the 3rd out of Jumin’s penthouse
  • Jumin panicked at first, but he trusted you to make sure Seven didn’t abuse his cat
  • What a mistake
  • Saeyoung literally hasn’t done anything other than play with her during those days
  • So after she had to be forcefully returned, Saeyoung wanted to ask you to go eat or something, but instead you were sulking
  • “MC, why the looooooong face?”
  • “How could you love a cat more than me?” you pouted
  • “Oh~? You’re not jealous of Elly now, are you~?”
  • “Maaaaaybe…”
  • He immediately pounced on you and tickled you to no end
  • “How dare you think that, I, God 707 would forget his Goddess?”
  • “AHAHAHA, S-SAEYOUNG STOP. I PLEAD MERCY.”
  • “What’s the magic word~?”
  • “P-PLEASE”
  • As soon as he stopped, you lodged yourself on him and began tickling him
  • “BETRAYAL!”

I’m so tired of body positive feminism that basically repackages hegemonic femininity and compulsory heterosexuality so that all women are deemed fuckable and redeemable in the eyes of men rather than just skinny women. It’s done absolutely nothing for me except given me a voyeuristic male gaze within my mind, to the point that I look at my curves and I think that they will please the men I walk by. Body positive feminism hasn’t subverted or challenged dominant beauty paradigms in the slightest, beyond twitter threads of various women hyper-performing femininity and talking about how they’ll steal your boyfriend or fuck your dad. 

When Dreamers tell stories

promptfilling :) so, @dollopheadsandclotpoles requested:

“Any pairing. One is a member of the royal family and one is a peasant that snuck into the castle to steal something and is caught by said member of the royal family “

I took a bit of artistic freedom with this one because this idea just popped into my head and I thought it would be fun. Enjoy :) (please excuse the lame fairytale narrative. I’m bad with fantasy.)

prompt me Raven Cycle stuff! As I’m down with a flu and feeling a bit bad mentally, I need some fluff or smut in my life? :) ♥ any pairing!

read here on ao3/if you’re on mobile


“Someone should tell a story!” Blue licks chocolate and marshmellow off her fingers, and both Gansey and Henry watch her do it, Henry with a faint smirk, Gansey with, what Ronan calls “fucking heart-eyes”. 

“Go ahead, then.”, Ronan snarls. He’s leaning into Adam’s side casually, with Adam’s arm slung around him. 

“Nuh-uh.” Blue wiped her hand on her distaster of a skirt. It looks like it has been sewed together from two differen skirts, one side green suede, the other black denim, now smeared with chocolate and spit. “I’m a bad story-teller.”

“Ronan knows some stories.” Adam’s voice fits the soft, gently wind caressing their naked arms. 

Ronan sits up and glares at his boyfriend. “Fucking traitor, Parrish!”

Adam just smirks. “It’s true, though.”

Gansey holds up his hands. “Okay, come on, leave him alone if he doesn’t want to.” 

Ronan doesn’t want to, but Gansey defending him like this is worse. 

“Yeah, I bet the stories aren’t even that great.” Henry grins and quickly tucks his legs back before Ronan can kick him. Blue snorts, and immediately joins in this childish and effective taunting. “Yeah, he’s probably not even that good of a storyteller!”

“Yeah, right, you want a story?” Ronan squares his shoulders, “…I’ll give you a story.”

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Theory: Count Olaf is, in fact, an old Barney Stinson. He has become jealous of the lives his friends now lead, having also lost everything when he got back into gambling. He sets out to regain his fortune and he decides to do that by stealing the money from the very woman who scorned him. The characters he now becomes - Olaf, Stephano, Captain Sham, etc, are all characters he had come up with years before to impress women.

Smoke|Yuta

A/N: Second part to Withered’, from Nakamoto’s pov.
So sorry for the late upload. I’ve been very, very busy. I just hope it works fine for all of you who waited. Let me know how you feel about it in the ask box. 
- Admin Ayu ♥

Genre: Angst, Romance, Smut.
Word Count: 2,136

***Please don’t read this if you are sensitive to the concept of infidelity, abuse, and violence***

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Eurus vs The Mayfly Man

Inspired by this post: X I had a look at the courtroom deduction - which takes place in Sherlock’s mind - and found this in addition to the quote from the above post. 

SHERLOCK: Your place? ALL FOUR WOMEN: His place. (Eurus as therapist, John coming to her place/Sherlock and John coming to Sherrinford = her place)

Nothing happened. (”That’s all it was, just texting.”)

He listened. (Eurus as therapist listening to John)

Different names, different addresses. (Eurus posing as E, Faith, and therapist with different names and addresses)

He’s stealing the identity of corpses … (Eurus killing the therapist and stealing her identity)

In the courtroom scene we see Sherlock creating a scenario in his mind which is based on information gathered in the “I dated a ghost” forum. The information as such is true, everything else - the room, the looks of the women, John at his side - is pure imagination. 

I wonder if the Mayfly Man somehow inspired Sherlock’s idea of Eurus. 

@tjlcisthenewsexy, @sarahthecoat, @shadow3214, @ebaeschnbliah, @monikakrasnorada, @loveismyrevolution

anonymous asked:

What - to you - are the most irritating and probematic 'tropes' and things you see in the current YA market today? (Your books are awesome btw, so its no shade. Ps: I am SO unbelievably jealous that you got to read an arc of Holly Black's The Cruel Prince. *teleports to your home - steals it - teleports back*)

Hmm. I think almost all tropes, in the hands of a skilled writer, can be done and done well. It all comes down to the author and the story.

Personally, I don’t like when men and women are treated differently in terms of morality, usually to the detriment of women. I.e. an awful dude can be redeemed but an awful woman can’t, or something to that extent. Hot guys can’t get away with everything just because they’re hot guys. I’m all about parity to the best of a person’s ability. 

This may not be a trope but I’m a sucker for good worldbuilding, so shaky or nonsensical worldbuilding bothers me. My brain is always trying to find historical equivalents or touchstones (so I’m thinking, what year is this akin to, what’s the tech level, etc.) and if things are an anachronistic jumble, it takes me out of the story. But that’s nitpicking.

I do despise killing or maiming or raping or otherwise brutalizing female characters solely for the advancement of a male character’s story or arc. It’s just ugly.