i will sell my soul for you to come back in season 8

In which I live-blog Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Okay. Here we go.

Can I get more Heather and Valencia this episode? Please?

Oh, Rebecca. So many unresolved father issues.

Wait? Paula made that veil? What a gem. What a fantastic human.

Rebecca, I know you’re SO HAPPY but this wedding CANNOT happen.

I mean, this wedding isn’t going to happen, right?

RIGHT?!?!

YES A DEATH METAL NUMBER THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED FROM THIS SHOW

You know Josh, you’re not the brightest, but thank you for recognizing something’s up and that Rebecca’s has done a complete 180 in regard to her newfound idealized vision of her relationship with her father.

You still shouldn’t marry Rebecca, though.

Stop being cute. I refuse to ship this.

Oh, God; she’s said her life is practically perfect. She’s happy. How is this all going to fall apart?

Hmmm…

Oh, God.

Josh is a stand-in for her dad.

No, not like that.

Just that she had abandonment issues regarding her father and that Josh is her way of fixing that. Like, by him sticking with her, she can mentally erase what happened with her dad by making Josh the primary male figure in her life. Just like “A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes” in season one suggested-that every guy she dates is just a stand-in for her dad.

This show, guys. It’s so good.

Robert? Who tf is Robert? Was she engaged before? Interesting

Darryl’s in the stag party, God bless.

REJOSHECCA CHABUNCH DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE DARRYL

Looks like Rebecca’s not the only one with an unhealthy relationship with her opposite-sex parent. (Lookin’ at you, Hector.)

White Josh is right; last two people who should get married.

WiJo is not into marriage; of course. Kids, yes, marriage, no-Darryl is going to be so upset.

But, you know, actual conflict that couples have to deal with is good, so props on that. I’m excited to see where their storyline goes. And, you know, I think there’s something to be said for not having to “legitimize” a relationship by getting married.

But I also really want them to get married at some point, so…

But, you know, it’s fine. Because I trust the creative team on this show-I trust them in whatever decisions they decide to make.

Wow, I have literally never said that about a show before. Good, job, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Team. (This show is the best, you guys.)

I love Father Brah. Like, legitimately so much.

Shut up, Naomi; Valencia is great.

“Hootenany.” I’m so glad Valencia’s vocabulary is this way.

All of these guests, but no Trent? I was promised Trent. Where is Trent?

Did she just…pop her foot while hugging her dad? WTF?

Aw, Scott and Paula went together. As much as I don’t like infidelity plots, I’m glad they’re working things out.

Naomi is dishing. It. Out. I wasn’t aware how much I loved her before this episode.

NATHANIEL IS HERE

WHY

WHY IS NATHANIEL HERE AND NOT TRENT

Is he trying to be a Nice Guy ™? Or does he just want approval because he also has father-based self-esteem issues? In either case, he really needs to shut up.

Hmm…accepted to Harvard, Robert happened, went to Yale instead? GIVE ME ANSWERS

Yeah, she’s an enigma because she kept one obviously traumatic event from you, Josh.

He thought….

The dance instructor thinks Rebecca is marrying her dad. Wow. And she finds it funny instead of being freaked out (presumably because a stranger sees an emotional connection between them and she’ll take anything she can get at this point)? Can this show get any more blatant?

My poor, little problematic protagonist.

I NEED. TO BORROW. SOME CASH. WOOOOOOOOOOOW. What a fucking jerk.

No wonder Rebeca has so many issues. Her own parental unit only came to her wedding in order to ask her for some fucking money. God, I hate this show.

(That’s a lie; I love this show with every single atom in my body.)

Thank you, Doctor Akopian. Dr. Akopian is the hero we all need. #AkopianforPresident

Oh shit, Robert the mysterious ex-boyfriend was her TEACHER?! (I mean, she said “I dropped out of your class” and “You said you’d leave your wife,” so I assume…)

Oh, no, Rebecca. You did not drive your father away, you were eleven. You were not a needy child. Someone give this poor woman a hug.

Forget about the past? I do not like this. I don’t trust you, Silas. I’ve got both my eyes on you.

YES TRENT FINALLY

PLEASE SAVE US WITH YOUR MORALLY UNSOUND PLOTS

So, this wedding can’t happen, but I don’t want Josh to be the one to call it off because I know that will utterly break Rebecca.

But I also don’t want Josh to be sad because he’s trying his best.

Yes, communication is good. Thank you, Father Brah.

This conversation is going to be a time.

A REPRISE OF YOU STUPID BITCH

AND VILLAIN IN MY OWN STORY

IT’S A MEDLEY

Okay, this show wins all the awards. All of them. Everyone else can go home.

NO JOSH A GIRL CANNOT FIX ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

YES JOSH RECOGNIZING YOUR ISSUES AND CALLING YOURSELF OUT I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU

Please, talk to each other. I don’t ship you, but you need to have this conversation.

I am actually legitimately scared; I have no idea what is going to happen.

This friendship is so important. Paula and Rebecca, I mean.

HAHAHAHAHA DON’T ASK ME I’M JUST A DUMB COWBOY WHO LIKES WEDDINGS Darryl is my favorite. Like, actual favorite on this show.

WiJo, maybe you shouldn’t argue about it, but you should talk. Discussing where your relationship will go is important for couples everywhere.

Heather’s directness and honesty is everything to me.

JOSH WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING

DARRYL DARRYLDARRYLDARRYL IT IS FAR TOO EARLY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO CONSIDER HAVING A BABY YOU GUYS ARE PRECIOUS BUT PLEASE THINK ABOUT THIS

Why is this show like this? Why did I sell my soul?

…I hate this.

Josh, no. Don’t just leave. You need to talk to Rebecca. Trust me, it will hurt her less than if you just don’t show up without an explanation.

I am so here for all of Rebecca’s friends being willing to rip Josh apart for abandoning her.

“With someone else, but it’s not what you think?” Is he dead?

WHAT

JOSH IS JOINING THE MINISTRY

…Because Father Brah said it was the answer to all of his questions about life and Josh thinks this will solve his serial monogamy problem.

I…honestly didn’t see that coming.

Oh, no. Rebecca is thinking about jumping. I can’t do this. I cannot do this. I asked for a silly musical show that deconstructed romantic comedies, and I did NOT ask for this.

Aw, she admitted she loved Greg while he was here. This makes my heart happy. They were not good for each other and shouldn’t get back together, but I’m glad she acknowledged his importance.

Okay. So, Robert was her teacher, he broke up with her, she tried to burn his stuff and got tried for arson, and the judge agreed to strike it from her record if she sought mental health counseling. She went to a mental institution and did the whole drug cocktail thing, and that explains why she was on so much medication at the beginning of the show and couldn’t feel anything.

That…makes a lot of sense, actually.

YES PAULA

Oh, God, this is so important. Everyone in Rebecca’s life left her because of their stuff, not because of her. And it all starts with her father walking out.

YES YOU TELL HIM REBECCA

Oh, thank GOD.

“You’re crazy.” “Little bit.”

REBECCA OWNING HERSELF AND ACKNOWLEDGING HER ISSUES HOW LONG I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS DAY

“Have fun flying coach, dick.” Oh, Nathaniel. You know, I just might come to like you.

Destroying Josh Chan. What is she planning?

WAIT WHAT NO

YOU CAN’T JUST END IT THERE NO

I CAN’T WAIT ANOTHER 8 MONTHS FOR A RESOLUTION TO THIS

GIVE ME MORE

Well, at least we got renewed for season 3.

I look forward to it.

And, I gotta say: Rebecca hating Josh is a new dynamic I am beyond excited to explore.

Peace out. This has been a Liveblog No One Will Read.

Dear Steroliners

I have been lurking the steroline tag and your beautiful gifs/metas/fan fictions for awhile now. I don’t have my own tumblr/twitter presence, and I’ve never felt the need to weigh in until now, other than some random asks I’ve thrown at kmze. But it must be said, or it will continue to haunt me: this finale was completely bogus and should be thrown in the dumpster. I felt like maybe writing this out will help me get over the tragic and senseless end of those two adorable puppies, Stefan and Caroline. So here it goes.

There was so much NOPE in this finale it’s hard to know where to start, but I’m going to focus on the most obvious: Stefan’s death.

I don’t object to the notion that a Salvatore brother had to die. They’ve evaded death for far too long, and left way too many bodies in their wake. I don’t think any of us expected both the Salvatore brothers to make it out of this show alive. Would I have preferred it to be Damon that died, or at least to have the brothers both go out in a blaze of glory? Fuck yes. But I could have handled Stefan dying, and Damon living, had it been handled in a way that made even a shred of sense. It was not.

A sacrificial death, when done right, can be a very fitting way for a show to go out. See: Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s finale. 15 year old me shipped Buffy and Spike (I know, I know, quite a toxic relationship, but moving on). So I was bummed as heck when Spike died in the finale. But the way he went out was just so damn fitting I could not be that mad. He sacrificed himself to save Buffy, to save the Slayer-ettes and the rest of the Scoobies, and literally the entire world. It was necessary and rooted in the plot and was therefore heroic and did a heck of a lot to redeem him of his terrible deeds. It fit the narrative, it fit the character’s arc, and it was satisfying, which took the edge off the tragedy.

Now, let’s compare that to Stefan’s death shall we? Was his death necessary to save the world? Nope. It was not even necessary to save Mystic Falls, since Bonnie had found a way to control the hellfire and send it to hell, or at least divert it. It was arguably necessary to kill Katherine and destroy Hell, but like, there’s nothing particularly noble about destroying Hell? There were tons of bad people in Hell, people that should arguably have stayed in Hell and not been given a “get out of Hell free” card. There did seem to be some not terrible people stuck in Hell (Vicky was irritating but not evil) but maybe since Cade was dead this whole policy of throwing everyone who ever screwed up once in their lives, into eternal torment, no longer applied? Katherine is a cut-throat queen but I don’t see her being this petty. Unclear, but either way this Hell mythology was just too murky for a set-up wherein destroying Hell equals redemption. So far, I fail to see how this action redeemed Stefan’s tattered soul and granted him his peace.

Okay so let’s assume I’ve missed something. (I very well could have. I only watched the finale once and I doubt I’ll ever be able to bring myself to watch it again.) Let’s assume for the sake of argument that in fact the whole “stabbing Katherine with the dagger at the very moment she is immolated thus ensuring she dies in Hell and Hell is destroyed” was a very necessary and heroic act in the grand scheme of things. So at least one of the Salva-bros had to die. The choice of who gets the axe should be based in the narrative, yes? Maybe the brother who showed up in Mystic Falls in season 1, all gleeful about tormenting his brother and making the residents of Mystic Falls suffer, would be a good choice for the one who ultimately saves the town? Whose ongoing arc has been about becoming a better, less-selfish man, one capable of putting his brother before his own needs? Who, two episodes before, had proven that he was ready to be that hero, and had died in a similar sacrifice, but had miraculously come back from it with no explanation? Maybe the writers had a plan? HAHA BITCH YOU THOUGHT.

Instead, Stefan dies because “Damon is the better man.” Hahahahahah lol lol lol brb LAUGHING FOREVER. I don’t need to list the many actions/character traits that Damon has displayed over the years, that make it emphatically clear that he is not the better man. At best he is the equally-as-terrible man. Stefan killed Enzo, yes, which was painful, mainly because of its effect on Bonnie (Enzo was also a murderous trashbag, let us never forget). But Damon killed Tyler, tried to kill Bonnie, and abducted a couple of 4 year olds and tried to sell them to the Devil in return for his own soul, and that was just in season 8. I can’t even remember all the times he killed Alaric and Jeremy, I have literally lost count. Many of you have already covered Damon’s many crimes in your well-reasoned and thoughtful metas and commentaries. They do not need repeating. Damon is a selfish, impulsive, weak-willed, predatory psycho murderer. We have the receipts in the form of seasons 1-8 of this show. I say this as someone who is actually a big Damon fan (I like his snark) and was all about Damon and Elena in seasons 1-4, despite how terrible they were to Stefan. (The actors had lit chemistry back then, sue me.)

Stefan is a psycho murderer too, but at least he feels bad about it. I invite anyone to explain to me how saving Damon, and giving him a human life, tilted the karmic scales in Stefan’s favour. One mass-murderer dying, so that another mass-murderer can live, does not redeem the first mass-murderer, particularly when the major crime the first mass-murderer seems to be paying for, is the murder of a THIRD MASS-MURDERER (Enzo). I just refuse to believe that the universe’s sense of justice is this out to fucking lunch.  

Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the most glaring plot hole in this clusterfuck of a sacrifice=redemption narrative, which is obviously that DAMON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO SHIT TO FIND REDEMPTION/PEACE. NOTHING NADA ZILCH. Thus undermining the entire justification for Stefan’s death. Dear god, what a mess.

I can sort of see how in Stefan’s deeply troubled mind dying for his brother would redeem him, because he loved the shit out of his brother, despite how rarely Damon actually deserved that love. Which brings us to another high-key problematic aspect of this finale, which is the assassination of Stefan’s character development. Over 8 seasons, we watched Stefan struggle with his mental illness, his addiction, his complete lack of self-worth, and most importantly, his suicidal tendencies. Once he was able to remove himself from the Triangle of Doom, he actually made a lot of progress! He stopped referring to the Ripper in the third person, he got a handle on the whole blood thing, and when he finally opened his eyes about Caroline, he found a healthy, happy, mutually supportive relationship for pretty much the first time in his entire life. He didn’t ever fully let go of his dependency on Damon, but by the time season 8 started, he was planning a life with Caroline and clearly heading in that direction. His suicidal tendencies made a come-back, thanks to killing Enzo and the guilt that caused him, but by 8x13 he was like I WANNA LIVE, by 8x14 he was re-proposing to Caroline and talking about growing old, and by 8x15 he was effing married to the love of his life and dancing and laughing with her at their wedding.

Then 8x16 comes around, and suddenly, he’s back to “I HAVE TO DIE BECAUSE OF WHAT I DID TO ENZO AND I WON’T BE ABLE TO MAKE UP FOR MY SINS BECAUSE I’M HUMAN AND DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME BUT DAMON YOU HAVE ETERNITY AND YOU’RE THE BETTER MAN” and I’m like THA FUCK? Did I imagine the previous 15 episodes/the previous 5 seasons? Is this the right channel? WHAT IS HAPPENING WHERE AM I RIGHT NOW?  

There are also so many plot holes when it comes to discerning Stefan’s own motivation for this sacrifice, directly out of the dialogue and HIS OWN DAMN MOUTH. He tells Damon that he has “an eternity with Elena” to make up for his own sins. But Stefan’s actions were definitely pre-meditated right? He knew he was going to give Damon the cure, so obviously Damon will not have an eternity to make up for his own crimes? Also Elena is a human now and Damon has been droning on about their human endgame plan for like 5 years now, ever since Elena went into her mystical coma? And then my personal favourite, when Stefan talks to Elena, he tells her he wanted her to have the chance to get to know human Damon. BUT EXCUSE ME as far as he knew Elena was stuck in the mystical coma until Bonnie dies, which everyone assumed would be 60-70 years from then, so seeing as how Damon will age and probably be dead by the time Elena wakes up, or at least very wrinkly and very old, how does he figure he is giving Damon and Elena their happily ever after? As far as Stefan knows, or at least SHOULD KNOW relying on concepts like logic and common sense, he just took away both Damon’s right to choose to die, AND Damon’s happily ever after with Elena, and this is full circle and remedies his original sin of forcing Damon to turn into a vampire and I’m just !?!??!!? I’M PHRASING THESE AS QUESTIONS BECAUSE I LEGIT WANT A FUCKING EXPLANATION SOMEONE PLS HELP.  

Oh and btw the whole Stefan sacrificing himself for Damon and Elena and making up for his original sin of forcing Damon to turn, was so effing murky in the actual episode it had to be explained in interviews by KW and JP, at which point KW made it clear that this entire nightmare happened because he is a 14 year old Stelena fanboy and didn’t watch the last 5 seasons of his own damn show AND NOW I’M ACTUALLY LAUGHING IT’S ALL SO RIDICULOUS.

So, cool. Stefan is dead, Caroline is widowed on her effing wedding day, I am emotionally gutted, and basically this all happened for virtually no reason my brain can discern. Very epic, so fitting, what a pay-off, much full-circle, argaahgaahfTHEFUCK.

When Caroline left him that voicemail, I couldn’t even enjoy the “I will love you forever” line because she also said “I understand” and I was like OMIGOD CAROLINE PLS EXPLAIN IT OUT LOUD CAUSE I SURE AS FUCK DON’T.

And even after all this, the writers are not QUITE done making a mockery out of the notion of consistency in story-telling. They decide that the last scene featuring Caroline Forbes-Salvatore, a character whose strongest traits are her loyalty to the people she loves and moral backbone, and who was widowed like 5 minutes ago from the viewer’s perspective, should be spent with Caroline receiving a letter from a murderous one-night-stand she does not GAF about. For the cherry-on-top, anyone who watches the Originals knows that the one-night-stand is currently suffering some sort of hell torment and hallucinating his actual true love, one Camille O’Connor. AND THEN THE WRITERS HAVE TO GO ON TWITTER to try and explain how the fuck this timeline could possibly make sense and Joseph Morgan is like “I’ve filmed all of season 4 lol what letter?” and I’m laughing again because this is total amateur-hour. Thank you to all the twitter users who have been dragging this joke of a writing team online, your salt is giving me life. Never has a moment of such cheap and blatant fan-baiting backfired so magnificently. I was planning on watching the Originals when it comes back but HAHA NOPE NEVER AGAIN JULIE PLEC, BACK TO THE DUMPSTER WITH YOU.

Anyways, this rant got out of hand. The point here is that I feel justified in completely ignoring this entire finale because of how little sense it made or even attempted to make. I’m sad a show I’ve loved for 8 years ended on such an absurd and poorly-plotted note. Perhaps I’ll eventually get around to writing some fan fiction in an attempt to create my own little alternative ending. In retrospect, I probably should have known better, but I hung in there because when TVD was good, it was really good. But damn, when it was bad, it was truly unwatchable.

Stefan and Caroline forever.

GoT: Gendry: Season 7 & 8 Hopes n Dreams

k but Gendry and Orys Baratheon parallels because like… if he is gonna be a big thing in season 7 like everyone is rumoring and that he’s been seen in Belfast (Winterfell and the general North) AND Spain (Kingslanding and the general south) i wanna take a minute to talk about what he’s got.

He’s the last of the Baratheon bloodline. We all know that. But he’s also prolly the only living blood relative of Danaerys. Dont forget that Robert Baratheon’s Grandmother was Princess Rhaella Targaryen AND Orys Baratheon was a Targaryen bastard as well, making Gendry her only blood family (either than Jon of course, but we all know Jon’s gonna do shit.)

If he lives through the war of the dawn I can see him getting rewarded as Lord Gendry Baratheon of Storm’s End and reviving House Baratheon.

Now how will this come about I wonder. Gendry wouldn’t come up with that himself. I dont think Danaerys would come up with it herself because she would have to have someone explain everything to her. Now, who has an interest in bettering the realm? Ohh! Tyrion and Varys. I think one of the two or BOTH will tell Gendry that he has a shot at Lordship and of course Gendry will be all like “No I hate the nobility. I dont want to be one of them.” and then the answer to that will be. “Your distaste of the nobility is exactly why you should become a Lord. You have a duty.” 

“And duty? Why? Because the king fucked my mother in a brothel, now I have a duty to his house?”

“No, your claim to House Baratheon is merely an opportunity. Your duty lies with your young self, a bastard boy with no family wondering around flea bottom hungry. Any other highborn lord will sit in the golden stag dining room at Storm’s End and eat their supper while his people starve… I say, you would sell all those golden stags, wouldn’t you? You’d be content to eat at a simple wooden table knowing it wasnt on the backs of the lowborns. The last thing this realm needs is another castle full of pampered brats that don’t know a damn thing about the people they rule. If you live through this war I know I can easily convince our Queen to make you Lord Baratheon of Storm’s End. After all you are her cousin…”

OKAY NEXT HEADCANON: ACORN HALL @ WINTERFELL

I want the Acorn Hall scene to take place still even tho we’re way past it in the books. Maisie Williams is older now and Arya has completed most of her solo self-finding soul-searching mission and is now back in Westeros completing more of her list and then probably going home to Winterfell where Sansa is.

We saw Arya in some nice feminine clothes in Braavos. Personally, I think she’s pulling a “tomboy grows up and begins to appreciate femininity in her own unique way.”  thing that happens all the time. as much as people wanna say Arya will always be this dress and bath hating child forever, realistically it’s not likely.

The party traveling to Winterfell from Kingslanding is large so Sansa is planning a feast for everyone as a welcome back/to. I can see a nice sisterly moment where Sansa asks Arya if she’d like something nice to wear to the feast and when Arya isnt disgusted by the question and actually smirks a bit and maybe makes a joke about how pretty her brown old tunic is.. Sansa takes her hand and they go away together to pick out dresses and do their hair nice and we get to see them have this really innocent happiness again even just for a bit. then of course the only dress at Winterfell that will fit Arya is this acorn dress. then of course you know the whole Acorn Hall scene with Gendry. and I want Ser Bronn of the Blackwater to be the one that sings Featherbed and teases them because I love Bronn and I think that laughing and teasing them is totally something he would do, as well we have already seen him drunkenly singing The Rains of Castamere before the Battle of Blackwater, so why not sing My Featherbed?

NEXT HEADCANON: HIM AND ARYA BOTH LIVE.

Arya will wake up a day after the war of the dawn has ended and she’s all bandaged up but is not that bad and capable of walking. Sansa is by her side. She asks about a few people and finally asks about Gendry. By most everyone’s knowledge of yesterday they all thought Gendry was too badly hurt and wasnt going to make it. Arya runs to his room and takes his head in her hand and talks sweetly to him thinking that this is the last time she’s ever going to have with him. Then she gives him a soft kiss. Gendry then opens his eyes a bit and whispers, “Arya…”

“Gendry..”

“I’m… alright..”

and there’s a moment there she’s processing what’s been said. then the Maester of whoever is caring for people comes into the room not having heard the whispers, “Isn’t it great My Lady? I was just spreading a bit of a word to everyone about him. Most people, including myself, thought he was a goner, but then I started tending to his wounds and they werent even half as bad as we all thought. Cleaned and bound him up right as rain and knocked him out with milk of the poppy.” By this time now Arya is horrified. She let’s go of him and stands up, embarrassed. Gendry tries to console her, “Come on, Arya, don’t be embarrassed. It was sweet.” Arya immediately leaves because she has to, though she doesnt actually want to stay away. She goes to the kitchens and gets breakfast for them both and returns.  

BUT TIME FOR THE BITTERSWEET REALISATION:

“…but what’s west of Westeros? I’d like to see that.” I cant see Gendry wanting to adventure around the world with Arya and as much as I’d like to fantasize about Arya and Gendry being the Lord and Lady of Storm’s End and having lil Baratheon babies… i dont know…. I feel like after the war of the dawn and Arya has taken her vengeance and maybe ditched her list all together after having her blood warmed again by Jon, Sansa, and Gendry that Arya won’t want to stay in one place being a lady and wife and mother. it just seems weird for her to end up the lady of Storm’s End after saying she wants to see what’s West of Westeros.

UPDATE: I am just remembering Gendry’s talk with Davos. Davos was born in fleabottom as well. King Stannis gave him a lordship and made him the hand of the king. Davos almost didnt accept the Lordship but he did because he wanted his son to have a better life. But then his son died young anyways! And Davos may be clean and have soft bed but he’s no more safe or happy because of his Lordship. What if Gendry likes the picturesque ideas Tyrion and/or Varys tells him about how the realm doesnt need another pampered bitch ass lord? And that he can do the realm some good? He can help people? He was once one of them therefore he knows what they need? Well… what if Gendry doesnt really give a crap about the people???? Maybe Gendry is only seriously considering accepting a Lordship because it might mean getting to fucking relax and be safe and clean and fed… but then, wait, no, if he’s learned 1 thing during this wild ride it’s that castles and armies and nobility and money aint actually shit. it doesnt matter that Gendry would be a good and noble lord. sure the smol folk would love him but that doesnt mean he’d be safe and not create enemies just by existing. Ned Stark was kind and honest and noble and well liked and he still had enemies that wanted and got his head.

Here’s what I see and hope for: Gendry seriously considers accepting the offer of being Lord of the Stormlands. But then Arya comes to him after the war of the dawn and asks him what he thinks he’ll do next and where he’ll go. She’s asking him this because she wants him to come with her.. to see what’s West of Westeros. He tells her that he’s been offered a lordship. Arya’s taken aback by that, and asks, “So that’s it then? You’re going to be a Lord.” Gendry nods, “No.”

Does anyone remember that shot after him and Arya first met and they were first leaving King’s Landing? Gendry put his helmet on the cart and pulls himself up, and then he gives Arya a hand and pulls her up and they sit next to each other on the way to the wall.

what i am seeing is a mirror of that but on the boat sailing for a new world in the west of whatever. maybe they climb somewhere high on the boat. Gendry puts his stuff up on the sit and pulls himself up and then gives Arya a hand a pulls her up and they sit next to each other has they’re leaving King’s Landing for the last time just as they sat next to each other the first time. can you imagine the gifsets?

SPN’s closeness to Blake Snyder’s Beat Sheet sequences in seasonal form is kind of awesome.

I’ve mentioned before that SPN basically acts like an extremely long movie and this is what I meant. Part of film theory is applying a certain lens to a work to view it from that perspective. It’s kind of amazing how well Supernatural adheres to Blake Snyder’s structural beat sheet if you view it through that lens. It’s almost hilarious at times. 

More under the cut

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13 Best Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes

Let’s face it, if you’re reading this its cause you like Buffy. I love Buffy, it’s my favourite show and over the course of its seven seasons it had some of the best dialogue ever put on the small screen.

From the poetry of Spike to the wisdom of Giles, in this list, I’ve picked some of my favourite Buffy quotes and though the list isn’t completely exhaustive, most of the quotes, lines and moments are undoubtedly some of the most memorable.

Let’s do it.

1. Spike - “I know you’ll never love me. I know that I’m a monster but you treat me like a man and that’s…” (Season 5, Episode 22, “The Gift")

Originally posted by marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer

There’s a beautiful poetry to this line and its the pause at the end that sells the emotion that’s been bubbling under the surface. It’s not about sexual tension here.

2. Giles - “Do you like my mask? Isn’t it pretty? It raises the dead!! …AMERICANS!!” (Season 3, Episode 2, “Dead Mans Party”)

Originally posted by marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer

There’s plenty of great sarcastic Giles lines over the years, “Wake up in a coma?” anyone. Yet it’s this one from the season three zombie episode that really gets the biggest laugh when he’s just had enough.

3. Xander - “The first day of kindergarten, you cried because you broke the yellow crayon and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You’ve come pretty far. Ending the world — not a terrific notion…But the thing is…yeah, I love you. I love crayon-breaky Willow and I love scary, veiny Willow. So if I’m goin’ out, it’s here. If you wanna kill the world, well, then start with me. I’ve earned that.” (Season 6, Episode 22, “Grave”)

Originally posted by buffy-screencaps

At times Xander could be a problematic character yet when it counted his heart was in the right place. The friendship between these two was genuine and beyond all of their failed relationships, there’s was the purest.

4. Anya - “I don’t understand. I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s, there’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she can’t just get back in it and not be dead anymore. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid, and, and Xander’s crying and not talking, and I was having fruit punch and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever. And she’ll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever and no one will explain to me why.” (Season 5, Episode 16, “The Body”)

Originally posted by buffy-screencaps

The Body is one of the greatest episodes of Television of all time that will leave you an emotional wreck after it’s done. Yet it’s this heartbreaking speech from a confused Anya that may be the high point in the high point of the entire show.

5. Spike - “I’ve been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I’ve seen things you couldn’t imagine and done things I’d prefer you didn’t. I don’t exactly have a reputation for being a thinker; I follow my blood, which doesn’t exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, and there’s only one thing I’ve ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I’m not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you, or because I can’t have you — it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try…I’ve seen your kindness, and your strength, I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a woman. You’re the one, Buffy.” (Season 7, Episode 20, “Touched”)

Originally posted by usedtogobykari

Maybe William the Bloody wasn’t so bad at poetry after all. A beautifully touching scene and a great healthy development for their relationship.

6. Giles - “Yes, it’s terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.” (Season 2, Episode 7, “Lie to Me”)

Originally posted by jaclynnicolee

Before Angel lost his soul BtVS was already developing complex themes of growing up. As the father figure to Buffy, Giles could always give some wise words.

7. Spike - “You’re not friends. You’ll never be friends. Love isn’t brains, children, it’s blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love’s bitch, but at least I’m man enough to admit it.” (Season 3, Episode 8, “Lovers Walk”)

Originally posted by ohmyavengers

Spike always knew what was going on and here he planted the seeds to Angel eventually leaving. and getting his own show. 

8. Giles - “Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you that you acted rashly? You did. A-and I can. I know that you loved him. And… he… has proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn’t have known what would happen. The coming months are gonna - are gonna be hard… I-I suspect on all of us, but… if it’s guilt you’re looking for, Buffy, I’m-I’m not your man. All you will get from me is my support. And my respect.” (Season 2, Episode 14, “Innocence”)

Originally posted by marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer

No blame just respect. One reason why Giles is my favourite character. He never looked down on Buffy and treated her like an adult.

9. Angelus - “Now that’s everything, huh? No weapons… No friends…No hope. Take all that away… and what’s left?”

Buffy - “Me.” (Season 2, Episode 22, “Becoming Part 2)

Originally posted by marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer

Buffy’s women power message in a nutshell. In the midst of battle, this is a heartstopping moment that makes you want to punch the air with joy.

10. Spike - “Poor Watcher, did your life flash before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea” (Season 6, Episode 1, “Bargaining Part 1”)

Originally posted by theseniorpartners

Oh, Spike, we love you.

11. Spike - “Out. For. A. Walk…Bitch” (Season 5, Episode 5, “No Place Like Home”)

Originally posted by deansdevils

Four words or less.

12. Xander -  "They’ll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn’t chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realises because nobody’s watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You’re not special. You’re extraordinary.” (Season 7, Episode 12, “Potential”)

Originally posted by alexdanvrs

A bit of foreshadowing for the future but also a great insight into his character and his seven years as a sidekick.

13. Buffy - “I love you” 

Spike - “No you don’t. But thanks for saying it” (Season 7, Episode 12, “Potential”)

Originally posted by seriouslyblowme

Beautiful. To all the Spuffy shippers, this scene is gold. They went through a lot, not all of it good. Yet when it counted there was a true connection between them.

So there we have it. These are just some of my favourite quotes. What are yours?

Why Dean liked Purgatory so much, or On the similarity of Purgatory to Dean’s early hunting life

(Replying to @deanisdarkness​‘s question about Purgatory in a separate post, because this is going to get a little long.)

It would be a grave error to explain Dean’s view on Purgatory only by reducing it to “killing with no consequences”, as halluci!Benny (who is, in fact, just a curse using Dean’s self-contempt against Dean in order to get him to kill himself) does in The Werther Project.

So let’s take a look at what made Purgatory pure, what made it a place that, as Jensen himself has said (x), made Dean feel like he was in his element. A place that made him happy.

Keep reading

Dear Kendall,

Take a moment and remove yourself from your current situation, if you can, to a life that isn’t riddled with excess and only hearing the word “yes” to your wants and requests. Now, imagine you’re from a small town and/or Third-World country where your only way to get out of your current social class, achieve your dreams, get a green card or just gain better work conditions is to become a high-fashion model. You have to leave for six months to a year sometimes, signing contracts you can barely understand, let alone oblige to, almost without choice. You’re away from your family, your friends and everything you know. You live in a one-bedroom apartment with six other girls in the same situation in this Big Apple, New York City.

Did I mention you’re only 17 when all of this goes down? That means you have to go to tutoring and/or English lessons in between learning how to “walk” at the agency, attending castings every other day, going on test shoots to get you experience, trying to learn your new neighborhood, going to the gym and hoping to maybe make some money all at once. Oh, and your apartment and test shoots aren’t free, by the way. They are added to your account with the agency, as are your casting outfits and cellphone. These are going to leave you in some serious debt if nobody books you for anything; some girls owe upward of $30,000 after a year of trying to book gigs, so take that into perspective as well, Miss Jenner.

So now let’s pretend you actually lived through all of that, and it’s finally Fashion Week. Exciting, right? This could be your big break! You could send your family in Belarus or Woodbridge, Va., the money they need for your little brothers to have new clothes and/or books for school and/or even afford a plane ticket home for the holidays! Imagine standing in line after line of girls with your exact height and body measurements all day, each one hoping for a coveted spot on the New York Fashion Week runway.

Casting after casting, and you just can’t seem to get your place. But suddenly after a week full of the word “No,” killing yourself at the gym, exhausting yourself in classes, cutting your diet in half, not talking with your family and sleeping in a room with six equally exhausted girls, you get the call. Your agent texts you with an 8 a.m. fitting at Marc Jacobs. Oh my god, you’re going to walk for Marc Jacobs! This is a dream come true, someone finally said yes, and the prestige is beyond what you could have imagined! So you pack your model bag, a bottled water, your walking shoes and agency-approved casting outfit. This could be your big break, assuming they don’t cut your look last minute, a common practice done to no-name girls, so fingers crossed!

The fitting was perfect, your garment is amazing, and Marc was SO nice! And cute, too! One last fitting after that one, and it’s show time; you’re finally going to debut everything you’ve worked so hard for. You get to prove to your family that you left everything behind for a great cause, and you can finally pay back all of your agency debt, not to mention the money your parents lent you to make ends meet.

It’s the morning of the show, and you’re up and ready, grab some fresh fruit to nibble on, pack your bag, and you’re out the door. The subway is packed with lots of models, agents, buyers and fashion people in general, all exhausted, but ready to work. You’ve been bumped/tripped by both a hairstylist’s travel kit and a makeup guys’ enormous Caboodles-like suitcase, all before 10 a.m. You walk into Lincoln Center, and it’s like magic … you can’t believe you’re here! You’ve finally made it!

Backstage is a commotion circus of clothes, hair, makeup, yelling, Fashion TV interviews … it’s an Instagram overload! All the big names are there, your personal heroes including Hanne Gaby Odiele, Karlie Kloss, Joan Smalls, Jamie Bochert, Anna Wintour, Marc Jacobs himself — the list goes on! You’ve really hit the big leagues!

But wait, isn’t that a reality TV star over there in hair and makeup? Yea, that’s definitely a Kardashian or something. What is she doing here? Did she take the subway? Was she at the casting? What agency is she with? I didn’t see her last season … Does she need MORE fame? MORE money? A green card perhaps? Doesn’t she get enough cash from that show that all of ignorant America glamorizes? Didn’t her sister have sex with someone on camera and profit from the video sales to get their family its new line of limelight? This girl didn’t do and doesn’t owe half of what you did (remember, you’re NOT “KJ” in this scenario) to get here today, that much is certain. Her mommy surely called a top agency, got her in the door and the design houses just chose to milk her fame like the cash cow that it is. One by one like dominos from Vogue to Givenchy, fashion is selling out to the ignorant masses for money. What happened to the art, the cerebral part of fashion? Did it really all die with Alexander McQueen?

Well, there goes the neighborhood, I guess. Gone is the prestige you once felt as a “chosen one” by Marc, Anna or Ricardo — this cheapens your entire experience. You thought you were special, that your hard work had finally paid off. You didn’t realize that these coveted spots were for sale. The cost? The soul and dignity of a fashion house. The clothes will still sell, and the players will still play, but the image will be forever tarnished by these real life Veruca Salts buying their way in with sleazy fame rights.

You’re on to walk in five, so you’re smoking to calm your nerves. You need to ash your cigarette, and there’s Kendall Jenner’s drink. You already feel a bit better.

Until next time, Ariscestocrats!

Arisce

Source: Cosmopolitan Magazine

Fabricated Empire

Hold my cup of tea - round two

Yeah I don’t actually drink beer so this is more realistic. 

Mostly because it’s already January, I thought I’d look at season openers instead of season finales (despite the great temptation) and I’m going with my good old fall back of Destiel meta, aka ranking season openings by Destiel. For some reason this post is excessively long with a full meta per episode but thankfully the adjudicator likes me and will award me 5000 points just for showing up rather than read it again.


Season 1: I’m going with full, Destiel trash hindsight here. (Mostly because I know there are people out there who would loathe this train of thought and have literally called me an asshole for putting Destiel where it doesn’t belong.) I mean, like, embedded in fandom, thirtieth re-watch of the Pilot utter Destiel garbage here. Giving it 5 points out of ten for the set up, and only deducting the other 5 because you need to lift up the carpet to see it.

We have off-screen, later confirmed by Dean in 2x13, Mary telling him “Angels are watching over you” as her last ever words to him, which occurs in the timeline presented in the opening minutes of the show, somewhere between putting Baby Sammy to bed and Mary waking up to the baby monitor. It hurts so bad because that episode is the most Destiel episode of all the pre-Cas episodes, seeing as it sets Dean up on his inevitable connection to the Divine, his full on scepticism of it which is most important in 4x02 when he’s coming to terms with Cas’s existence. While the phrase is flipped on its head with horrendous dramatic irony in 5x13 when we see Mary uttering it again after discovering the entire full scope of Heaven’s plans for Sam and Dean (finally – Michael fills in all the final missing details in his speech to Dean), Mary’s obliviousness to the plan after her memory wipe is one of the most painful plot-related moments of the show. However, by the end of the apocalypse in 5x22, when Cas is revealed to have been resurrected and heals Dean and brings Bobby back, Dean can only look at him in awe and ask if he is God. Finally it’s clear that he is the angel actually watching over Dean, well beyond all the darkness and horror of the apocalypse and what was planned, and Cas sticks to this from then on. By 12x01 Mary gets to find out she was right, when she meets Cas via seeing him latch onto Dean with a desperate hug and Dean tells her upfront that this is an angel, and of course for her that’s mere hours after she told four year old Dean these once last words to him before, in terms of her experience of the plot, being transported forwards 30 years to face the fall out of her life and choices.

For sheer, painful, beautiful hindsight, that one off-screen moment we only found out about a season and a half later, makes any rewatch start with Destiel and Cas embedded in the very opening minute as we’re still innocently meeting this family.

Also, it sets up Dean’s character in the broad strokes which complement his story to Cas’s so well, as Cas’s early arc mirrors Dean’s season 1 arc, allowing them to bond closely with a lot of unspoken understanding of each other, so any moment where Dean shows unthinking loyalty to his family and the Job etc is all waiting to be plundered for Cas’s later arc.

Keep reading

Anti-Delena Comments on The Vampire Diaries EW.com page

Comment #1: “Feel so sorry for the actors..I am sure they know, how ridiculous and boring the plot sounds…"Damon is fiercely loyal”…lol..that sounded funny…“

Comment #2: "sooooooooo tired of Damon and Elena, Damon and Elena, Damon and blah, blah, blah, belch!!”

Comment #3: “Yeah, Delena killed the show for me half way through season 5. Damage is done I won’t be back for another very longgggggg season of whiney Delena.”

Comment #4: “I wonder how the actors really feel about the show? It seems like it is going to be so strong. The show really needs to give down the soap operaness. I feel like the role of Damon has just been completely destroyed. How are we supposed to believe he gives two sh*ts about his brother and believe he’s loyal when he helped his exgf within 24hrs. Of the relationship ending. Damon is only loyal to himself. I could forgive this if they admitted that it who Damon is. They’re trying I portray him as something he is not. Rest the writing for the show!!!”

Comment #5: “de is so boring now it was interesting in seasons 1 and early s2 but now all it is is a cycle of breaking uo to makeup. or not even makeup, they just have sex.”

Comment #6: Elena and Damon are annoying..they are better when they are apart and not loving each other only just caring about each other.

Comment #7: Sorry to say this show is so boring. I used to LOVE TVD’s. BUT, last season otherwise known as the “Delena Diaries” killed the show. Before the Delena start with the usual. No I am not a “Stelena” however looking back on the show’s seasons this was a great show when she was with Stefan. Damon was better when he was a manpig who slept with alottttt of gorgeous WOMEN. Plus this whole brothers doing it with the same chick is gross. Seen that sh- it on Jerry Springer. Last season I probably watched 6 out of the 22 episodes. I did read the recaps and found out basically I didn’t miss anything. Julie Plec and Caroline Dries have a weird and obvious crush on Ian. Unfortunately, they ruined the show because of it. It’s a fact that the ratings were at an all time low when they put Damon and Elena together. I won’t be back for season 6 and I am sure that I’m not alone. Sure the ratings will be ok for the first episode. Call it habit, curiosity or whatever. Judging from the clip it’s still the “Delena show” and people just can’t stand it. Good bye vampire diaries. You used to be such a GREAT show.

Comment #8: Totally agree, Delena has been the most boring storyline ever, I feel like they ruined Elenas character, made her more selfish and cruel. Shes lost Bonnie too and her younger brother is an alcoholic now. She has a right to grieve but what happened to the Elena who cared about others? This Elena is just BORING am really tired of her character.

Comment #9: Complete utter nonsense there is no good storyline hinted at all just Elena whining about her Damon. Elena as seen many people she loved and known all her life die Jeremy, Bonnie, Aunt Jenna and she never reacted like this. Hell even when Stefan died all she said was “Oh my God Stefan” and didn’t shed a single tear. Damon the guy she had a lot of sex with and spent half the time talking about how toxic they are for each, (which according to writers is supposed to make me believe that they are soul-mates) dies and she goes crazy and whines.What happend to the girl in season 1 who said I am not going to have my life revolve around a guy. Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying she should not be upset but really?
Also Nina’s acting has gotten bad for me like she just doesn’t care anymore.I feel like she is overacting a lot especially last season and this trailer is the same. She is great actress though.
I want to stop watching but I really like Paul Wesley and will keep watching for him, and he seems to hate the show too.Whenever I see a ridiculous scene on tvd, I always imagine Paul’s reaction when he read the script.

Comment #10: Nina was a pretty good actress, especially for CW standards, but the writing has finally caught up to her. The problem with the show last season was that there was no clearly defined bad guy until the last three episodes. All I am getting is that the sole focus of the show will be Delena. The show has taken a nose dive since FORCING the two characters together. I still role my eyes at the “love that consumes you” line, when we heard for three seasons about Stelenas “epic love story.” When you add the fact that most of the Delena relationship was called “toxic,” about 80% of the time (even by the characters), it doesn’t help sell what the Plecster is trying to give to the audience. I will give TVD half a season, but it looks like even that is going to be torturous. I just want the love triangle to be 30-40% of the show and the rest about them coming together, and try to figure out how to defeat the big bad. I think doing that for a season would help a lot, it’s time for the love stories to take a back seat and not be the focus.

Comment #11: The face that the horrible rain kiss happened just confirms that Damon and Elena are PURE fanservice and these writers sold out this show for a bunch of teens. Absolutely pathetic.

Comment #12: The ratings have proven that because of Delena people just stopped watching. Now they’re putting them back together. TVD’s is done. Never thought I dislike this show, but I do. I’m done with the Delena Diaries. That was the last episode for me. I’m out.

Comment #13: Whose show is then exactly? Because it’s not the Tyler, Matt, Bonnie, Jeremy, Caroline, Stefan, Alaric, Enzo show, it’s the Delena Diaries apparently. I’m sorry, but did we all forget that the title of the show is, The Vampire Diaries? Apparently the writers of this series has, because all it’s been lately is their own personal wet dream. I’m not a Stelena shipper, I’m not even invested in this show anymore, actually, I’m more invested in this comment I’m writing right now than I am in any of the storylines on TVD so far this season. This show has grown stale, repetitive and cliche. I used to like the chemistry between Damon and Elena, that was until the writers absolutely messed up the characters and it became ALL. ABOUT. THEM. If I wanted to watch a spineless, annoying chick spend all her time mooning over a stalker vampire type, I’d force myself to sit through Twilight again. So while you might think everyone complaining about Delena is a Stelena shipper, most of us are sitting back and hoping Stefan stays as far away from that train wreck as possible because Elena doesn’t DESERVE him. Maybe the old Elena, but the new one the writers have created, that annoying, selfish, idiotic, wishy-washy version walking around pretending her lifelong dream has been to become a doctor, that version can take another jump off of Wickery Bridge.

Comment #14: Don’t be a fool. It’s not just Stelenas, pretty much everyone who’s still watching this show are fed up and done with Delena shoved down their throats. No one but the now small Delena fanbase cares, just look at how the ratings collapsed ever since The Delena Diaries started. You only got that insipid kiss because the writers sold themselves to Twitter hashtags, sad but true.

#Supernatural TippiTV Recap: 10-4 "Paper Moon"

Previously on Supernatural:

Sam hurt his arm and had to start wearing a sling while it healed. Still, he managed to fight his way out of some pretty tough situations. He even managed to capture and torture demons for information, all without the use of one arm!

Oh, and Dean became a demon, but he’s basically cured now.

Currently on Supernatural:

It’s the night of a full moon in Durham, Washington. “Werewolves of London” plays while a young woman walks into a biker bar, much to the delight of the mostly male patrons. We don’t see her whole face just yet, because we’re supposed to think she might be werewolf Kate from two seasons ago. She picks out the youngest guy in the place and takes him outside. He thinks she’s gonna give him a beej or something, but instead she rips out his heart.

Hm. If you pause the title card at the right moment, it looks like an eye. A stern, disapproving, Muppet eye.

The Winchesters are on vacation at the shore of some unnamed lake. Dean’s hair is short again. I feel like we’re missing a scene of Dean getting his hair cut, with snipped locks falling symbolically in slow motion to the floor as “Roads” by Portishead plays.

Between swigs of beer, Dean broaches the subject of Sam’s arm. It’s odd that out of all Sam’s previous injuries, this is the one that’s really stuck. Sam offers no explanation beyond “it was a demon.”

Okay, I know Padalecki was injured in real life, so they had to write it in for Sam, but there better be some shocking back story to that damned arm now. They’re teasing it out instead of just explaining it, and it’s not like the show is shy about exposition. It should be like, Sam’s not actually injured at all, but is hiding some kind of Kuato-level monstrosity behind that sling.

Also, the sign at the lake says “No Hunting.” Hahaha. Oh, you.

The bros vacation for a couple more minutes before they decide to investigate a possible werewolf kill. Sam is against the idea at first, but Dean insists they can’t just sit around and talk to each other for a whole episode. So why not let other people nobody cares about do the sitting and talking instead?

They head over to the sheriff’s office and pretend to be sexy game wardens.

The sheriff points them to the biker bar, where they meet with a witness for a Sit ‘n’ Chat. It takes kind of a long, dull time to get around to the guy saying he saw the same young woman out by some farm.

When they get to the farm in question, they find a bunch of mutilated chickens. I think I feel worse for the chickens than I do any of the werewolf characters in this episode. Then they find Kate, talking on her cell with someone about how “it’s not supposed to happen this way” and quickly tie her up.

She cops to the murders. Dean wants to shoot her, but Sam is worried about letting big bro kill someone. It’s probably concern over that whole “Mark of Cain bloodlust” deal, although he doesn’t say exactly. During this moment of hesitation, the sheriff calls to say a still-warm corpse has just been found, so Kate is off the hook for the murder. Instead of being relieved, though, Kate freaks out, escapes her bonds and runs off. Dean checks her phone and finds out she was talking to someone at a nearby motel.

En route to the motel, the Winchesters use the time to argue with each other. Dean brings up Lester, the drunken idiot Sam got to make a crossroads deal. Even though we just saw flashbacks for this last week, we get to sit through most of the same flashbacks all over again. “Let’s talk about the guy who you made sell his soul,” Dean says. “The guy who you then killed,” Sam shoots back. A verbal slap fight ensues.

They follow someone that they mistake for Kate, but she turns out to be an entirely different young, blond werewolf. 

Kate shows up just in time to pull this new wolf off the Winchesters. Dean aims a gun on her, but Kate jumps in the way. “She’s my sister!” she shouts, like that’s a persuasive thing to say when the guy was willing to kill you, too, just a couple hours ago. Everyone stares at each other while the music tries to make like this is a shockingly dramatic turn of events.

The sister escapes, but Kate sticks around to explain herself.

Kate says she hasn’t killed anybody who didn’t deserve it, and she sticks entirely to eating animal hearts, hence the dead chickens. She carries a silver knife with her in case she ever turns murderous and needs to kill herself. Tasha, her sister, is a different matter. Long story short: Kate kept away from her family until she heard her sister had been in a car wreck and wasn’t expected to survive. “Then it hit me! This curse that had brought me nothing but pain and suffering could maybe do something good!” So, hey, I’ll inflict my sister with pain and suffering, too! But Tasha started murdering folks pretty much right away and Kate’s been covering for her. Dean lies about there being a cure for werewolves so that Kate agrees to bring them to Tasha.

Sam takes Dean aside to call him out on the lie. The poor Impala is still filthy. Surely this is a sign that Dean is still some percentage of demon, right? How else could he be so mean to Baby?

As they drive off in search of Tasha, Kate catches a nap to allow the brothers more chatting time. Sam confesses that he did kill others in his search for Dean, although they weren’t people. Remember back in the early days, when they were super concerned about killing demons because it meant killing the hosts? Now it’s like stabbity stab stab all the live-long day. To sum up: Sam was really messed up about his dead brother disappearing, and Dean is pretty embarrassed about running off with Crowley. “Not to mention I never even said thank you,” Dean says. “You don’t ever have to say that to me,” Sam says. So he doesn’t say it. Maybe he’s not that thankful. Or maybe that counts as saying it.

When they get to the cabin to which Tasha has escaped, Dean slaps some silver cuffs on Kate and locks her to the steering wheel. She starts to suspect there’s no cure. She begs them to let her talk to Tasha. “She’s in too deep and you don’t ever come back from that,” Dean says. He and Sam exchange Very Meaningful Looks of Somewhat Parallel Sibling Storylines.

While Sam finds Tasha, Dean somehow gets jumped by some newbie werewolf guy. Did all of Dean’s finely honed hunter instincts get cured out of him, too? A second newbie werewolf guy drags Kate into the cabin. It turns out Tasha has been busy making herself a pack. The newbies drag the Winchesters into another room while Kate and Tasha blah blah blah at each other.

For some reason, the newbies just kind of stand around instead of killing Sam and Dean right off the bat. The Winchesters start taunting them.

Sam stabs both of the newbie werewolves in their hearts while they’re distracted by the taunting. That was… easy.

Kate hugs Tasha and acts like she’s going to join her sister, but then she stabs her through the heart. She apologizes, then flees through the window before Sam and Dean come crashing through the door.

On the drive home, the Winchesters decide not to hunt Kate down. Sam thinks they jumped on the case too soon. He starts to say they were supposed to be dealing when everything they’ve been through, then quickly corrects himself to say what Dean’s been through. Does this mean that Sam thinks he’s totally fine, or that the show thinks Sam is totally fine? “Maybe I’m not ready to hunt,” Dean admits, “but I’m just trying to do the right thing, because I’m so sick and tired of doing the wrong one.” Ah, there’s good ol’ self-loathing Dean. I almost didn’t recognize you after nearly three whole episodes away!

Overall, I feel like this was a pretty slow episode, and I just didn’t care what happened to any of the werewolves. Which is kind of weird, because I liked Kate in Season 8’s “Bitten,” and actually found that episode fairly moving–especially considering all the characters were unfamiliar. 

I give “Paper Moon” 2 out of 5 Hellhounds…

 

and one bag of chicken heart dog treats, for the modern werewolf on the go.

–Tippi Blevins

Happily ever after?

Reader x Dean

Words: 2061

Triggers: Mention of death, I think that’s it

This story takes place during the seventh season of Supernatural, when the leviathans are on earth. 

You would never had seen it if you weren’t a hunter. The little symbol at the doorhandle, it melted in really well with the rest of the pattern but it was there, it looked like a round circle with two moons back-to-back against it. This was the house. It wasn’t a house you would expect a witch to live in, but witches these days tended to be classy you had noticed. A really big, all white, suburban house, a perfectly cut lawn and a hedge all around the house. You dialed Dean’s number on your phone and he answered after a couple of beeps.

“Hi,” he greeted with his deep voice.

“I think I have found something,” you said while jumping a little on the place and hugging yourself to keep out the cold. “There is an old Wiccan-symbol at a doorhandle,” you continued and gave Dean the address to the house. You saw a lady look out the window. “She have seen me, I’m going in to ask a little questions to see if my suspicions are legit.”

“We’ll be there in 5 minutes. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’ll be careful as I always am.”

“Don’t be the way you always are, be nice to the witch, Y/N.  I really don’t want you dead.”

“Just come here, I’m going in now,” you said, killed the call and knocked at the door. You heard footsteps inside and a couple of seconds later the big white door opened. A woman in her late 50’s stood in the doorway, dressed in a little yellow dress with a white apron with crochet edge covering her from the waist down to her knees. Her hair laid in perfect waves over her head and the red lipstick weren’t even a little bit trashed.  How the hell could someone live an apple pie life as perfect as this?

“Hello,” she said whiping her fingers on the apron. “What can I do for you?”

“I want to ask you a little about the missing people. You’ve probably heard about them, two missing males in their early twenties this week,” you said and held up you FBI-badge as you spoke.

“Oh, right. I’ve heard, poor boys. Want to come in so that we could talk it through?”

“Yes please, it happened not so far from here, you might have seen something?”

“Not something that I can say now, but I’ll tell you what I did those nights and maybe you can figure something out by that?”

“Sounds great,” you said and smiled kindly towards her, or tried at least, faking smiles wasn’t your best side. She led you in to the living room, all white, roses on the table and not a spot of dust to be seen.

“Would you like a cup of tea?” she asked you after commanding you to sit down in the couch. She sounded a bit like a grandmother, maybe she wasn’t a witch after all. But you could never be sure. The living room was big, mostly white like one of these modern homes. There were three large windows right in front of you.

“No thank you,” you said kindly while you looked out the window hoping to see the Impala drive along the driveway. “Can you please tell me what you did and where you were the night three days ago and last night?”

“Hm… Let me see, my husband and I played boule with the neighbors around 8 pm the first night you’re talking about. Then we had a glass of wine all together before we went home and went to sleep, a pretty early night for me. You will notice how the darkness affects you more the older you get, I get really sleepy,” she told you and laughed a little as she smoothed the surface of a pillow before she got seated in the armchair. The back against the windows.

“Okay, but you don’t look that old. Not a day over fifty,” you said, gaining a little extra liking was never bad while question people.

“It’s actually my birthday next week, I’m turning 139.” Don’t give it away, you don’t know that a human being can be that old, you told yourself. Pretend to be a non-hunter, what would you have said then? You laughed a little as if she had told a joke, you really hoped she had but your gut told you differently.

“You must have some really good anti-ageing crème!” you said as if you tried to joke back.

“You know that it isn’t the case here. I know you’re a hunter, darling.” Fuck, where was Sam and Dean, it had been at least 10 minutes now.

“Ehm, I have to go – m-my boss wants to see me.”

“Oh stop it you, you’re talking about Bobby? What other boss do you have?”

“How do you know about him?”

“There is very few things I don’t know about - for example I know that you and Dean are a lovely little couple, Sam is your best friend and you hunt with the boys.  You grew up together and you loved to be at Bobby’s with the Winchester brothers when John, your mother and father were on hunting trips together.”

You looked at her, didn’t know what to think. How did she know all that? Why did she know all that?

“You were – sorry, are - a very special child Y/N, you know that demons aren’t the only ones who you can make a deal with? Some witches is in that business too. You don’t need to sell your soul, the deal is different every time.”

“Okay, why are you telling me this?” you asked her as you slowly stood up from the coach and begun to ready yourself to leap towards the door. The woman stayed in her seat and smiled calmly towards you.

“Your mother couldn’t have kids, she was infertile. But she and your father really wanted a kid and since she had spared my life once she came to me for help, she was a friend of mine. I helped her but I knew you couldn’t be a normal kid since making new lives with magic never ends well. I tried to talk her out of it but even though she was a hunter and knew what could happen she insisted in doing it.” You saw the Impala through the window and the witch continued.

“I have watched you your whole life, making sure nothing went wrong. The only thing I have noticed is that you have a little better understanding for witchcraft than ordinary humans have.”

“So I was - am, a spell? I’m not a real human being?” you asked her.

“No, that’s not the case, I only fixed your mother so she could get pregnant. But what affects the mother often affects the child too.”

“Okay – but is it something special about me that I need to know?” you asked and you saw that Dean opened the trunk and picked some weapons. No, he couldn’t burst in now.

“One thing only. When you were a child another witch cursed you because she thought you were an abomination,” she said. “Your curse is that you will suffer three great losses and then you will suffer the greatest loss of all, and I think you have already been through two of these, with your mom and dad.”

Your eyes got all wet at the thought of your mom and dad. They were gone now, both had died by the hand of some supernatural creature, you had never been able to figure out who did it. Your mom with her black long hair and your dad with his sand blonde hair, always messy. They had been your best friends and they had taught you a great deal of what you knew about hunting. Sam and Dean had become your new family when you had become an orphan when you were 12, but you couldn’t stay with them if that meant that you would put them in danger because of the curse.

“I know what you think Y/N; that you need to leave Sam and Dean because you don’t want to put them in danger. But you should know that it is too late, the love you feel towards them will always be there and the curse will work on everyone you love. Even if you left them now you would feel pain if they died and that is how the curse works. Be with them, they will help you deal with your life, with your losses.”

You heard Sam and Dean on the front porch, a knock on the door.

“Will you be kind and meet your friends in the hallway and tell them not to kill me, not yet anyway?” the witch asked you. You had never met a witch this nice, but you didn’t know if she had killed those boys just yet. You did as you were told and opened the door for the brothers who seemed a bit surprised that you were the one that greeted them in the doorway.

“Hi guys,” you said.

“Y/N,” Dean said. “Glad to see that you’re still alive.”

“I don’t think she did it, not really. But we’ll continue question her a bit more.” You led the boys in to the living room where the woman still sat in the armchair. Legs crossed, back straight and hands in her lap. Her eyes followed you as you took a seat in the couch.

“Okay,” you said. “You clearly know about the supernatural side of the world, do you think it was something supernatural involved in the boys disappearing?”

“You have my word, it wasn’t I,” she answered and looked at you. “But something is here, something dark, something that doesn’t belong on this earth. The creatures are even darker than the normal stuff you see around here.” You looked at Dean and Sam, they had probably gotten the same thought as you. The leviathans. The ones Cas let out a couple of weeks ago and you had absolutely no control over, it was like they spread with the wind, you had yet spotted no connections and no plan.

“You thinking the same as me guys?” you asked them and they nodded.

“Probably, how much darker can it get?” Dean said and you could see the look of disguise on his face, he hated these creature more than anything on earth. You didn’t know if it was because they were truly the worst creature around, or if it was because they reminded him of Cas. You missed the old Cas. The one who was really awkward at most situations, the Cas who you had begun to see as your family.

“Now we know two more faces, if they haven’t shifted already,” Sam said, trying to sound positive.

“Yeah, we should continue our search.” You looked over at the witch who just sat there looking at you.

“I hope you know what you are doing,” she said and the curse popped up in your head once again.

“We don’t,” you told her. “But we’ll figure that out. Thank you for your help, we’re leaving now.”

“But,” Dean started. “How do we know that it wasn’t she who did it? She could lie for all we know.”

“She was my mum’s friend,” you said, ending the discussion before it had even started. You trusted this woman.

The backseat of the Impala was the perfect place for thoughts, you usually enjoyed it, but not today. Who would be the next victim on your list? Would it be Sam, your best friend? Or Dean, your boyfriend? Or some of the other people you loved? It felt like a huge burden had been laid upon your shoulders but you couldn’t share it with anyone. They would be scared and run away from you, but maybe it was for the best? Maybe you should continue this road by yourself, love nobody, and never hurt anyone.

You plugged in your headphones and you let the music drown you, the lyrics drag you from your own thoughts.

Oh happily ever after, wouldn’t you know, wouldn’t you know.

I skip to the ending, who’d like to know, I like to know.

Author of the moment, can’t you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?

How ironic.

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A/N:

Hi guys! This will probably be a longer story, more chapters waiting. Please let me know what you think, or send a request for something else, I would love that!

The song in the end is Happily ever after by HE IS WE by the way. 

//Emma