In which I live-blog Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Okay. Here we go.
Can I get more Heather and Valencia this episode? Please?
Oh, Rebecca. So many unresolved father issues.
Wait? Paula made that veil? What a gem. What a fantastic human.
Rebecca, I know you’re SO HAPPY but this wedding CANNOT happen.
I mean, this wedding isn’t going to happen, right?
YES A DEATH METAL NUMBER THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED
FROM THIS SHOW
You know Josh, you’re not the brightest, but thank you for recognizing something’s up and that Rebecca’s has done a complete 180 in regard to her newfound idealized vision of her relationship with her father.
You still shouldn’t marry Rebecca, though.
Stop being cute. I refuse to ship this.
Oh, God; she’s said her life is practically perfect. She’s happy. How is this all going to fall apart?
Josh is a stand-in for her dad.
No, not like that.
Just that she had abandonment issues regarding her father and that Josh is her way of fixing that. Like, by him sticking with her, she can mentally erase what happened with her dad by making Josh the primary male figure in her life. Just like “A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes” in season one suggested-that every guy she dates is just a stand-in for her dad.
This show, guys. It’s so good.
Robert? Who tf is Robert? Was she engaged before? Interesting…
Darryl’s in the stag party, God bless.
REJOSHECCA CHABUNCH DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE DARRYL
Looks like Rebecca’s not the only one with an unhealthy
relationship with her opposite-sex parent. (Lookin’ at you, Hector.)
White Josh is right; last two people who should get married.
WiJo is not into marriage; of course. Kids, yes, marriage,
no-Darryl is going to be so upset.
But, you know, actual conflict that couples have to deal with is good, so props on that. I’m excited to see where their storyline goes. And, you know, I think there’s something to be said for not having to “legitimize” a relationship by getting married.
But I also really want them to get married at some point, so…
But, you know, it’s fine. Because I trust the creative team on this show-I trust them in whatever decisions they decide to make.
Wow, I have literally never
said that about a show before. Good, job, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Team. (This show
is the best, you guys.)
I love Father Brah. Like, legitimately so much.
Shut up, Naomi; Valencia is great.
“Hootenany.” I’m so glad Valencia’s vocabulary is this way.
All of these guests, but no Trent? I was promised Trent. Where is Trent?
Did she just…pop her foot while hugging her dad? WTF?
Aw, Scott and Paula went together. As much as I don’t like infidelity plots, I’m glad they’re working things out.
Naomi is dishing. It. Out. I wasn’t aware how much I loved
her before this episode.
NATHANIEL IS HERE
WHY IS NATHANIEL HERE AND NOT TRENT
Is he trying to be a Nice Guy ™? Or does he just want
approval because he also has father-based self-esteem issues? In either case,
he really needs to shut up.
Hmm…accepted to Harvard, Robert happened, went to Yale instead? GIVE ME ANSWERS
Yeah, she’s an enigma because she kept one obviously traumatic event from you, Josh.
The dance instructor thinks Rebecca is marrying her dad.
Wow. And she finds it funny instead of being freaked out (presumably because a
stranger sees an emotional connection between them and she’ll take anything she
can get at this point)? Can this show get
any more blatant?
My poor, little problematic protagonist.
I NEED. TO BORROW. SOME CASH. WOOOOOOOOOOOW. What a fucking
No wonder Rebeca has so many issues. Her own parental unit only came to her wedding in order to ask her for some fucking money. God, I hate this show.
(That’s a lie; I love this show with every single atom in my body.)
Thank you, Doctor Akopian. Dr. Akopian is the hero we all need. #AkopianforPresident
Oh shit, Robert the mysterious ex-boyfriend was her TEACHER?! (I mean, she said “I dropped out of your class” and “You said you’d leave your wife,” so I assume…)
Oh, no, Rebecca. You did not drive your father away, you were eleven. You were not a needy child. Someone give this poor woman a hug.
Forget about the past? I do not like this. I don’t trust you, Silas. I’ve got both my eyes on you.
YES TRENT FINALLY
PLEASE SAVE US WITH YOUR MORALLY UNSOUND PLOTS
So, this wedding can’t happen, but I don’t want Josh to be the one to call it off because I know that will utterly break Rebecca.
But I also don’t want Josh to be sad because he’s trying his
Yes, communication is good. Thank you, Father Brah.
This conversation is going to be a time.
A REPRISE OF YOU STUPID BITCH
AND VILLAIN IN MY OWN STORY
IT’S A MEDLEY
Okay, this show wins all the awards. All of them. Everyone
else can go home.
NO JOSH A GIRL CANNOT FIX ALL YOUR PROBLEMS
YES JOSH RECOGNIZING YOUR ISSUES AND CALLING YOURSELF OUT I
KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU
Please, talk to each other. I don’t ship you, but you need to have this conversation.
I am actually legitimately scared; I have no idea what is going to happen.
This friendship is so important. Paula and Rebecca, I mean.
HAHAHAHAHA DON’T ASK ME I’M JUST A DUMB COWBOY WHO LIKES WEDDINGS Darryl is my favorite. Like, actual favorite on this show.
WiJo, maybe you shouldn’t argue about it, but you should talk. Discussing where your relationship will go is important for couples everywhere.
Heather’s directness and honesty is everything to me.
JOSH WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING
DARRYL DARRYLDARRYLDARRYL IT IS FAR TOO EARLY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO CONSIDER HAVING A BABY YOU GUYS ARE PRECIOUS BUT PLEASE THINK ABOUT THIS
Why is this show like this? Why did I sell my soul?
…I hate this.
Josh, no. Don’t just leave. You need to talk to Rebecca. Trust me, it will hurt her less than if you just don’t show up without an explanation.
I am so here for all of Rebecca’s friends being willing to rip Josh apart for abandoning her.
“With someone else, but it’s not what you think?” Is he dead?
JOSH IS JOINING THE MINISTRY
…Because Father Brah said it was the answer to all of his questions about life and Josh thinks this will solve his serial monogamy problem.
I…honestly didn’t see that coming.
Oh, no. Rebecca is thinking about jumping. I can’t do this. I cannot do this. I asked for a silly musical show that deconstructed romantic comedies, and I did NOT ask for this.
Aw, she admitted she loved Greg while he was here. This makes my heart happy. They were not good for each other and shouldn’t get back together, but I’m glad she acknowledged his importance.
Okay. So, Robert was her teacher, he broke up with her, she
tried to burn his stuff and got tried for arson, and the judge agreed to strike
it from her record if she sought mental health counseling. She went to a mental
institution and did the whole drug cocktail thing, and that explains why she was on so much medication at the beginning of the show and couldn’t feel anything.
That…makes a lot of sense, actually.
Oh, God, this is so important. Everyone in Rebecca’s life left her because of their stuff, not because of her. And it all starts with her father walking out.
YES YOU TELL HIM REBECCA
Oh, thank GOD.
“You’re crazy.” “Little bit.”
REBECCA OWNING HERSELF AND ACKNOWLEDGING HER ISSUES HOW LONG I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS DAY
“Have fun flying coach, dick.” Oh, Nathaniel. You know, I just might come to like you.
Destroying Josh Chan. What is she planning?
WAIT WHAT NO
YOU CAN’T JUST END IT THERE NO
I CAN’T WAIT ANOTHER 8 MONTHS FOR A RESOLUTION TO THIS
GIVE ME MORE
Well, at least we got renewed for season 3.
I look forward to it.
And, I gotta say: Rebecca hating Josh is a new dynamic I am beyond excited to explore.
Peace out. This has been a Liveblog No One Will Read.