i will say that i am attracted to myself

manifestation tip:

once you attract something, you want keep it all up by doing acts of kindness and being grateful. every night i say to myself what i am grateful for from that day. i usually end up smiling and feeling warm inside, because positive emotion raises your vibration. always try to give just as much as you receive if not more. by the way this isn’t always material giving. say something nice or do a chore for a loved one. do it with love, not just because you want to attract more. before you know it gifts will continue to flow into your life from source energy. this also helps with keeping a positive attitude no matter how the day goes. you’ll always find something to be grateful for, and you will always have the wonderful feeling of helping/giving to someone else. ✨

It is just frustrating that lesbians not only can’t have our own terms to describe particular ways of experiencing lesbianism (eg butch and femme) but we can’t even have a word that roughly describes our sexual orientations. Somehow even saying “Lesbian as a term is reserved for people who do not experience attraction to men” is being mean and exclusionary. Identifying myself at all and people like me is somehow bad, but don’t worry that’s not homophobia at work obscuring the particular realities of being a gay woman. It’s wild. Of course many women are questioning or unsure and so on but if you send me an ask that starts with “I know for sure that I am attracted to men but -” asking if you’re idk allowed to call yourself a lesbian, why bother asking me when you obviously know the term doesn’t reference that experience ? I’ve made this post like four times now idgi.

anonymous asked:

what's wrong with the split attraction model? i've found it sort of useful for defining my orientation (panromantic gray-asexual), but maybe i'm not thinking about it critically enough. i'm not trying to be hostile or confrontational, btw (hopefully i was already getting yhat across but i am very bad at judging tone in both online and irl conversation)

okay so i typed out this whole long, introspective response and accidentally refreshed the page and i lost everything i wanted to say. so i’m super annoyed at myself right now - of course not at you anon, you don’t sound confrontational at all and i really wanted to answer this question properly and i’m sorry you have to settle for this mess of a response because i’m so irritated with myself. so here’s an much more poorly written version of what i wanted to say about the split attraction model:

  • born out of a misunderstanding of sexuality; the myth that the -sexual suffix in bisexual, heterosexual, etc. refers to sexual attraction and/or the act of sex when it refers to the gender(s) that one is attracted to.
  • along with this, sexualizes lgbp identities by insisting that our sexualities are inherently sexual because of the -sexual suffix.
  • encourages people to identify as things like “bihet” and “heteroromantic lesbian”, and to use h*m*sexual/h*m*romantic freely without realizing that these terms have been used to medicalized and pathologize (is that a word?) gay people’s attraction.
  • through dicing up attraction, encourages internalized homophobia/biphobia (e.g. someone who calls themselves “heterosexual h*m*romantic” might really be bisexual); the split attraction model gives people the tools to construct an orientation around internalized homophobia/biphobia rather than confront it (x).
  • encourages people who are not lgbt to freely call themselves q*eer just because they believe they are not “normal” when they label themselves as lithsexual, placiosexual, or something along those lines.
  • seeks to contain attraction when in reality attraction is incredibly complex and it is oftentimes not helpful to try to categorize each and every aspect of it; fails to recognize attraction is different for everyone and attempting to micromanage sexuality (and gender) is incredibly counterproductive and confusing for young lgbt people.
  • seeks to categorize what is the “normal” amount of sexual/romantic attraction when there really is no way for that to be quantified.
  • similarly, implants a false allo-ace dichotomy that is in no way indicative of oppression in society.
  • allows cis straight people to not only deny their cishet privilege, but encourages them to call themselves q*eer due to the conjured idea that not feeling a specific type of attraction makes one oppressed.
  • similarly, leads people to believe that the general public not having knowledge about their very precise “sexuality” is oppression.

that is all i can think to say about this issue at the moment. i know this is actually really incoherent and i’m sorry about that. i hope this isn’t too obnoxious or difficult to read, and if it is you can always send me another message and i will try to do better (because i’m still metaphorically punching myself in the face).

MADDOX-RIDER; 2016 ART SUMMARY

You can say I spend majority of my year with Dan & Phil. I am so glad that the phandom welcomed me with open arms. I made a lot of new friends, did fun projects and achieved many goals that I’ve set for myself; like having an entire art summary filled with colours+digital and completing inktober. To me, it was been a very successful year. I may or may not still be in the phandom but where ever my art takes me, I hope to create new memories in 2017 like this year.

Jan: Kiss Me
Feb: Phamily
Mar: Dentist Kink
Apr: Shibes!
May: Love Me Like You Do
June: If I lose myself 
July: Majestic Pastel
Aug: Team Mystic
Sept: Only one
Oct: TATINOF
Nov: Phanime
Dec: Secret Santa

I will never accept my body, but I hope you love yours.

Too much of my life has been spent being indoctrinated with fat hate. It’s seared into my self image. I can literally remember being fat shamed since I was 6 years old.

I’m capable of not actively hating myself. There are days when I can forget what body I’m living in. And there are times when someone else who finds me attractive can make me happy. But I’ll never truly be happy about my body; I am happy despite it.

This is why I care about fat positivity. I hope there are other people who can overcome what society says and truly feel beauty in themselves. I hope we can cause enough of a stir so that there are future generations that can hear body positivity their whole lives and not just after the fatphobic rhetoric has already been instilled.

I sincerely hope you know that you are truly beautiful.

This is my asexual valentine’s submission.
—————————————-
As some of you may have guessed, yes we are both teenagers, or young adults I should say. I am Skylar (me on the right) and I have been dating this wonderful and handsome man named Scott (on the left).

I am asexual, I’ve figured myself out not even a year ago. But despite all of that this man always loved me regardless of my lack of sexual attraction. Even with this highly big difference in sexual attraction and activities, it’s been the most wonderful 4 months of my life sharing my love, life, everything with him.

Teenage years and young adults are the two biggest periods where the libido and sexual activities reach their peak. To anyone who’s scared that they’ll never find a loving partner who can accept their asexuality, or to all the gay aces or lesbian aces out there who are either teenagers or young adults; I tell you to not lose hope.

Indeed, you will find love that doesn’t need to be sexual, you will find romance that doesn’t need to be sexual. Stay strong, believe in yourself and do not invalidate your asexual identity because of someone else.

anonymous asked:

i'm a straight guy and have girlfriends in the past but lately i like to check out dudes as well and gay porn somehow turns me on. i can nvr see myself being with a guy romantically cuz i dont feel attracted to them but i somehow like dicks? i feel so confused and disgusted with myself that idk what am i. plz help

nope don’t feel disgusted (?) it’s natural to explore what you like / want in your lifetime but don’t hate yourself. I don’t know what you’d be labeled as cause I’m the same way BUT I say hey live your life

I feel like I am broken because I am asexual but I am also so happy that I don’t have sexual urges or attraction. It is completely natural and normal to be a sexual person and I am not saying anything bad about that, I just feel that I am able to think clearly and be myself and worry about important things to me because I am not constantly thinking about sex. I understand the evolutionary need for sexual attraction, but I can’t even comprehend what it is like to focus on finding that everyday like most people in this world. Like, sex is so foreign to me? It’s literally just inserting parts of bodies into other parts of bodies? Going out of your way to be nice to someone for the sole purpose of getting to touch them? It’s so strange to me and I just don’t understand the attraction to it, even though I understand it scientifically. Again, no flack to those who love sex, I love you all and want you to live the way you do! I just don’t get it haha.

Skate park / ed

I was going to a party with my family. Something i was dreading since the minute they told me we had to go. I was some birthday arty for my moms friend and I haven’t met anyone that will be there. Now, i not a shy girl but i am at the same time.

We arrived at the house and my mom, my 6 year old brother and i walked into the back yard. It was filled with screaming kids. Perfect. My brother ran to the other kids as I sat down at a picnic table and my mom talked to her friend in the kitchen. I walked my brother and the other kids until i noticed two teenage boys among them. They were almost identical, and very attractive. i smiled to myself and tried not to stare.

“Hi, I’m Cameron.” I heard a girl say as she sat in front of me. I smiled up at her.

“I’m Y/N” I said.

“How old are you?” She asked.

“16, and you?” I asked, shaking her hand.

“19, haha. So which one is yours?” She asked pointing at the pile of kids.

“They little boy in the blue shirt is my baby brother. What about you?” I asked, looking at the kids. The twins looked me and then at each other and smiled.

“The only ones who don’t look 6. those are my brothers.” She said laughing. I saw them stand up and start to walk over here. I quickly looked away and hid my blushy cheeks.

“Y/N, this is Ethan and Grayson. Guys this is Y/N” Cameron said. They sat across from me. I smiled.

“What are you doing here by yourself?” Grayson asked.

“My moms in the house and my brothers over there.” I said laughing nervously.

“Ah, baby watch?” Ethan asked.

“Not really, I’m just really protective of him I guess.” i said.

We all got to talking and i started to grow a crush on Ethan. The way he smiled at me, the way his hair laid perfectly on his head and the way he concentrated on who ever was speaking. Everything about him made me smile.

About an hour later. I was walking in the back yard with the twins.

“There’ a skate park not too far from here, you want to go?” Ethan asked me.

“i’m not that good at skating, but why not.” I said.

“You guys have fun.” Grayson said winking at Ethan.

“You’re not coming?” i asked

“I have to help Cameron with something.” He said. I shrugged my shoulders and looked back at Ethan.

“Shall we?” He asked. I nodded.

We walked to the skate park and he started skating as i watched.

“You want to try?” He asked skating to me..

“i’d hurt myself.” I said.

“no you wont, I’ll help you.” He said. He grabbed my hands and let me stand on the board. He stood in front of me and walked me along while holding onto his hips. He tried to let go but i almost fell causing me to grab onto his shoulders. he laughed at me and held me up again.

“Maybe you were right, but we can work on it.” He said. I smiled at him. He helped me off the skateboard and smiled at me. He went to go skateboard again and show off his tricks. I shook my head smiling and sat on the edge of the ramp.

Soon, more people were up there and he skated to me. He sat next to me.

“How did i do?” He asked kind of out of breath. He sat next to me, our shoulders touching.

“Good, except for that jump you almost missed earlier.” I said laughing. He laughed as well and smiled at me.

“Maybe we could do this again. This was fun.” He said. I nodded.

“You can teach me how to actually stand up on one.” I said. He laughed.

“I’d like that.” He said.

We walked back and exchanged numbers before i left. I couldn’t stop smiling on the way home. My mom wouldn’t stop asking questions.

I got home and laid on my bed, when my phone buzzed.

I had a really fun day with you. Maybe we could do that again. Maybe as a date? -Ethan

MASTERLIST

anonymous asked:

So, what's your sexuality? like. do you care? nervous trans boy asking.

Dark’s knuckles wrapped together, aggressively cracking them back into a fixated position between his ligaments.

“Here is where things become…. complicated, lovely. I consider myself heterosexual, but this is simply because I do not want the assumption that me being anything but would immediately make me a match for a certain other Figment. I am not homosexual, I have a distinct preference towards women. I do not necessarily seek out men, I do not find attraction in them, but that is not to say that I am repulsed by them either. If I gain feelings towards one without any explanation as to why, I will not deny them. I will move with the way I feel, which is why I rather dislike being labeled any direct sexuality at all. As you stated, no I don’t exactly care.”

C: I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been feeling really ugly. I have big facial features and sometimes I struggle to love them. All the girls at my school say I’m really pretty, but as ashamed as I am to admit as a womanist and all, I want guys to find me attractive. Most importantly I want to love myself and find beauty in my own reflection. It just comes down to me finding myself attractive that’s all I want. I shouldn’t have to put pounds of makeup on to see that I’m beautiful. 😔😞😢

anonymous asked:

Hey nif, I noticed in your get to know me tag you said you're demisexual/cishet? I was wondering what that means if you don't mind telling! Aside from that I absolutely love your writing though and wanted to say keep being awesome 😊

Thank you! So basically, cishet means that my gender identity aligns with the sex that was assigned to me at birth (cis female) and I am attracted to men (heterosexual). But I consider myself to be demisexual, which is actually part of the spectrum of asexuality.

Demisexual people don’t always identify in the same way, but for me, it means that I’m not really sexually attracted to partners right away, and that it takes a pretty long time for me to forge a mental bond with someone before the thought of sex even crosses my mind. 

I’ve only ever been with two people intimately before, and I was in long-term relationships with both of them. I don’t have a very high sex drive (I know this may be a shocker with the amount of smut I’ve written in the past month or so), so sometimes it can be hard when it comes to trying to actually find a partner willing to hold off. But I’m not sex-repulsed, I just find myself being mentally attracted to someone before being sexually attracted to them.

Hope that makes sense!

Every picture I see of Katie McGrath has so much going on and is just so bizarre (tho don’t get me wrong very very attractive), that at this point she could be holding a baby alligator while wearing clown shoes and a hat that only says “gay” and I’d just accept it. Instantly.

Actually, why am I lying to myself this is something I very much want to see.

anonymous asked:

Let's say I want to be friends with a person. Being the introverted aro-ace I am, I heckle myself with self-doubt and generally feel very intrusive whenever I talk to them (and also wonder if I'm actually feeling romantic attraction, but I've mostly gotten over that). So could I ask for some tips to strengthen my platonic relationship skills? Anything helps, please know I'm desperate and almost ready to try anything at this point

we’re in the same boat. I only have one friend I’ve known since the beginning of school & she’s an extrovert.. so….

anyway, I’ll reblog a few tips bc I don’t have any

-victra

anonymous asked:

I'm gendefluid and Pan-Asexual, is it okay to call myself gay? I'm not sure what my sexuality would be considered because my gender shifts constantly and not sure if it's okay to call myself gay. Is it also okay to be Pan-Ace but have a type/be more attached to more feminine individuals? Sorry if my questions are offensive in anyway, I'm just confused.

Kai says:

yeah if you experience same gender attraction, you can call yourself gay. and yes, you can have a type / be more attached to feminine people. i myself am pan and usually find myself attracted to masculine presenting people more often. this isn’t offensive by the way

anonymous asked:

Hey, Ben. I don't know how you feel personally, but there's a lot of attractive guys starting to appear on your feed. I know for me that when I was into posting that, I started to get dissatisfied with myself. With my body. With my sex life. With my hopes for marriage. It gave me unreal expectations for what I wanted from a guy and from myself. I'm not telling you to stop. I'm just a person who has his own problems and wants to say that if you are unhappy, hot guys won't help. Best to you, man

Thank you for your concerns, I really appreciate it. To be honest I am feeling the best I ever have. Just moved in with my partner and everything is amazing. I guess the reason attractive guys are being reblogged is I’m feeling more sexual than ever and loving everything about intimacy and sexy people. Plus I’m getting lazy and can’t be bothered have two separate tumbles so I’m combining them. Thanks again though for caring. But I’m 100% happy and content with life and how I look.

Frills and Fears

I struggle with wanting to take pictures of me wearing elegant lingerie to lift my astoundingly-low self perception and help me see my body as art like a painting, a jewel sculpture, but I am horribly shy and wouldn’t want to seem like I’m exposing myself to boast, though loving the skin your in is ideal! I just love the look of cute, lacy underwear and it makes me feel luxurious. I just don’t want to attract negative attention-people seeing it as something strictly sexual in nature.

For most of my life I hid my body under over-sized sweaters, now I want to try something new and explore the natural beauty of the human body we all possess! In saying all this, I don’t have any cute lingerie, but if I am to return to modeling, to life itself with more cheer and respect for my form, I should probably start with my foundation.

So, in the near future, if I post any pictures in underwear, I hope it doesn’t offend you. If it does, please ask me to tag it specially and I will! 💗💌

ficklewitchsupporter  asked:

"No terfs" pshh. Easy for us to say, We are capable of experiencing attraction to either sex. Lesbians and gay men however, do not and it's natural and not derived from a "phobia" of any kind.

hi there! so i’d like to say firstly that i identify as a lesbian. i do not experience sexual attraction to men, nor do i see myself ever being in a romantic relationship with a man. it is true that when i started this blog, i identified as bi, but i have since realized that that was due to a whole mess of compulsory heterosexuality, etc. etc. anyways! the thing is, i would date a trans woman, because i am attracted to women. trans people are not an “in between” gender, nor are they any less male, female, etc. than their cis counterparts. a trans woman who was amab is a woman just as much as a cis woman who was afab is. being attracted to women does not mean being attracted to a particular set of genitals. female genitals come in all shapes and sizes, and some of those shapes are penises!

it is easy for me to say no terfs, because i do not want someone on this blog who believes that a person’s gender is derived from their genitals. genitals mean nothing. trans women are women, and this blog supports and advocates for trans wlw as best as i can.

Seventeens Senior Quotes

Seungcheol: “Hannah Montana says nobodies perfect but here I am”

Jeonghan: “I get butterflies thinking of myself I can only imagine what I did to girls”

Joshua: “I asked God for a bike but I know God doesn’t work like that so I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness”

Jun: “Education is important but being attractive is importanter”

Hoshi: “Cheaters never graduate but I did”

Wonwoo: “four years and I’m finally freeeeeeee…. From Mingyu”

Woozi: “Im not really funny, I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking”

Seokmin: “it wasn’t like highschool musical at all”

Mingyu: “Mingyu just stole my girlfriend- Everyone”

Minghao: “I didn’t choose the thug life the thug life chose me”

Seungkwan: “This is nothing but a hive and I’m the Queen bee”

Vernon: “I don’t always graduate but when I do, it’s barely”

Dino: “Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I’m scared of toasters”