i will never get over this film never

Sometimes I feel annoyed and frustrated that there are so many people for whom the DCEU will never, ever, ever, ever be good enough and nothing They do will ever win Them over and They will never shut up about Their dislike and trying to paint Themselves as victims.

Then I remember that pretty much all of those people are ignorant scum and I feel a sense of joy at the knowledge that They will never get what They want from these films and I won’t have to share a fandom with Them.

Call me by your name, a film review

Spoiler-free, of course.

top 5 scenes I absolutely loved:

#1 the war memorial scene 
simply can’t get over how well-directed and gorgeous this scene is. Literally perfect.

#2 the first kiss
Monet’s berm. Both Armie & Timothée are AT THE TOP of their acting game in this scene.
Also, the way it’s shot.
Also, the way it’s written / adapted from the book.

#3 goodbye scene
Oscar-nominated Timothée Chalamet, there is just no need to say more.

#4 Elio’s dad monologue, aka Michael Stuhlbarg breaks everyone’s heart
GOD I JUST CANNOT GET OVER THIS SCENE. My heart broke into pieces right there and then. 

#5 end credits
My heart broke into even smaller pieces, if that’s even possible.  

Bonus thing I really loved
Sufjan Stevens’ songs are gorgeous and incredibly well-timed in the film.  

top 5 scenes I didn’t love:

literally none because this film is PERFECT. 

Damn It, Jared!

Summary- The reader is a teen actress on the show, she’s hanging out in the makeup trailer with Misha when he alerts her of some weird tweets.

Characters- Jared x platonic!reader, Jensen x platonic!reader, misha x platonic!reader.

Warnings- mild language, mentions of family problems.

A/N- I’VE FINALLY UPLOADED A FIC! it’s been a while but I’ve been busy revising for my exams so that’s a good reason;) anyways, I hope you enjoy this! It was really fun to write and made me chuckle.


You were lounging in one of the makeup chairs, Misha was sat on your left getting his hair done whilst you were stuffing your face with gummy bears. 

You had been on the show for almost two years, you were introduced as Sam’s daughter halfway through season eleven, you had just turned fourteen when you started filming and being so young meant the cast -past and present- were extremely protective over you and that’s something that never changed, and honestly you were grateful! You never really had the greatest relationship with your parents so it was nice to have a group of people who cared about you the way your parents didn’t

Jared took the roll of your father in real life as well, you just had that instant connection when you met, you both had similar interests and similar characteristics, you even looked alike: hazel eyes that seem to change colour, dimples, same length hair. He acted more like a father than your biological dad, lets just say you don’t have the ideal family life, you’d much rather go to Texas with Jared and Jensen than go home (which most of the time you do), whenever you visited you’d always help Gen and Danneel with the kids, they were grateful and loved having you around. 

The cast knew how much your parents would nag at you, they knew how down you’d get about the things they’d say, today was one of those days. You had argued with both of your parents, quite heavily, Jared walked into your trailer when he heard you almost shouting. He comforted you and listened whilst your ranted and cried about the argument, he held you whilst you sobbed, he hated seeing you so upset, it tore him apart, to him you were his daughter, he couldn’t handle seeing his daughter so torn up.

Your head snapped up towards Misha who started laughing, a lot, “what’re you laughing at?” You asked, he turned his phone towards you, reaching out you took it from his grip “maybe you should go and find your phone” he laughed. Furrowing your eyebrows you scrolled through your twitter, your eyes widened at some of the tweets before your narrowed them and let out an audible groan “damn it, Jared” you grumbled, you quickly replied back to one of the tweets before handing the phone back to Misha and jumping down from the chair, “good luck!” Misha called as you stepped out of the trailer, “i’m gonna need it” you mumbled making him laugh again.

You stepped into the motel set that you would be using for that day, the crew were getting ready to film, you saw Jared and Jensen leaning against one of the tables, Jared was still typing away on your phone, stepping forward you gained their attention, “give me my phone, Jared” you demanded holding your hand out, “give me five minutes” he replied turning his head back towards your phone, rolling your eyes you crossed your arms, “no, Jared give it back” you said, he sighed and passed it towards you, however when your reached out to grab it his hand shot in the air, “jump for it” he chuckled, you gave him a bitch face, “I am not jumping for my phone” you answered placing your hands on your hips.

You saw that his phone was on the table behind him, quickly, you leapt forward and grabbed it before holding it behind your back. He chuckled, “you don’t know my password, i’m not bothered”, you smirked and typed in his passcode before showing him the unlocked screen, “really? Your birthday? C’mon Jared, be original” you said, he went to reply but the director cut him off.

The director called for everyone to get into their places, you sat on the bed with your back against the headboard, you knew the camera’s wouldn’t be on you, it was just Jared and Jensen’s coverage. The director yelled “action!”, as the guys were doing their dialogue you started to tweet from Jared’s phone silently giggling to yourself, “Just ate some spicy ass Buffalo Wings, never again. My ass is going to hurt for weeks” you looked up and watched the scene for a bit before tweeting again. “Oh god, the smell! it’s everywhere!“ Misha who was trying to focus on the scene caught sight of you giggling, he pulled out his phone and went onto Jared’s twitter, his face immediately went red from trying to hold in the laughter, you started typing again, “SHOULD IT BURN THIS MUCH?!” you hit send, Misha looked back down towards his phone and closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as if trying to compose himself, you started typing again “I just burnt a hole through my underwear… shit… quite literally” that was the last straw for Misha, he immediately burst out laughing shortly followed by you, doubling over you were face down on the bed with tears streaming down your face, “what’re you guys laughing at?” Jared asked, “ch-check your twitter” Misha wheezed out, he furrowed his eyebrows and unlocked your phone, his eyes widened, Jensen took your phone from his hand, he started reading the numerous tweets out loud whilst simultaneously laughing, hard. Soon enough everyone in the room was howling of laughter.

You sat up, still laughing hysterically, wiping away the tears that were cascading happily down your face you took a deep breath, trying to calm down, “y/n, you little shit” Jared laughed causing you to start laughing again, grabbing his phone from your hand, he deleted the tweets and pocketed his phone. “Hey, you started it, I finished it” you giggled, “can I have my phone back now?” You asked, he shook his head before throwing it towards you, you caught it and tucked it in your pocket. 

“Okay everyone, take a ten minute break to cool off, god knows we need it” the director laughed, you stood up and walked towards the boys, “where did you come up with those tweets?” Jensen asked, you shrugged your shoulders, “honestly I have no idea” you laughed, whilst Misha and Jensen were talking Jared swung an arm over your shoulders, “you feeling better?” He asked, you nodded your head, “yeah, still feel a bit bummed about earlier but better nonetheless” you smiled, he squeezed you, “good” he replied, “I’m still gonna get you back from tweeting on my phone, you know that right?” He asked, you rolled your eyes and chuckled “yeah, even though what I did was completely fair” you said, he sighed “yeah yeah, whatever you say” he said playfully.


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“I knew I was destined for something a little more undisciplined and ungoverned. Life was mine to explore! Some have suggested that Captain Jack Sparrow was the pinnacle of that search. But, the truth is that he has always been an integral part of me, from day zero.
Cut To: Day One. Set of POTC ‘Curse of the Black Pearl.’ An absurd feeling. Like arriving, for the very first time, in a place you’ve always known. I understood everything. Immediately. This was where I was meant to be. My tumultuous trek, battling toward the edge of honesty’s limits had reached its zenith. However, that battle was not over. It never is, of course, and I had to fight for my vision of the character. My truth. And that vision was realized, thanks to the ‘guts’ of Jerry, Gore, and the finest executive that The Walt Disney Company has ever employed, Dick Cook, not to mention our dedicated and incredible crews - the true soldiers who get these films done with their very blood and sweat!!! They give the film its magic. But, above all, we must thank our dear audience. For, without them, there would be 'no glory.’ We would never have gotten anywhere. But now, here we are, some five movies later with our new directors, Joachim & Espen, administering some fresh wonder, still on the ride and loving it!!!
The future is always a riddle waiting to be solved, but I know that wherever we go, Captain Jack Sparrow will remain close by. His irreverent, absurdist spirit, forever loitering intently beneath the surface of all that threatens to tame us, to bore us, and to trick us.

So, don’t be tamed. Don’t be bored. And don’t be fooled.
Long live the Pirates life.”

- Johnny Depp (Surrey, 02.05.2017)

Thoughts on Yondu from Guardians of the Galaxy:

He is Sold as a baby by his parents. Lived as a slave for first Twenty years. Then had a hard life as a ‘pirate’ captain. Did some really bad stuff. Got cast out by Ravager leader who had saved him & who he respected. First shot we see of him in Vol 2 he looks very unhappy, 😦
Then in the cell, after been beaten & mutiny upon (having had to watch all his loyal crew killed right before him!) he says he deserves all of this. 😢
He did ‘unintentionaly’ take those kids to their deaths, (heard theory his trinkets on console represents each child he dropped off) He seems ready to be done, until Rocket mentions that Peter is in trouble…..
Peter, the one (after he learned what was happening to the kids) had decided to save from Ego, take on himself and raise. He’d obviously wanted Peter to stay with him and the Ravagers & probably be his successor) but Peter had left him to be with a different family. 😟
Yondu probably didn’t know how to be affectionate with Peter, with the way he himself had been brought up. And he just couldn’t be like that anyway in front of his crew. He wanted this little Terran to be able to survive out in the harshness of the galaxy, so he was tough with him.
In the end, Yondu did good by saving this man he’d grown to love as his son. He probably regretted not being closer to him or things he never told him, but he was proud by how amazing Peter turned out, 😭

(Peter got none of this until after it was too late.) 😢

And how he connected with Rocket! Telling him not to end up like himself, pushing away the ones you care about. What Rocket did for him, calling all the Ravagers.
It was terrible for Rocket to lose Yondu too! I mean the last shot of the film is freakin Rocket looking up and crying!

I will Never get over how tragic and soul crushing Guardians is at times.

Johnny’s Foreword for Disney Pirates: The Definitive Collector’s Anthology

Since early childhood, some point between innocence and ignorance, I recognized, as luck would have it, that I somehow possessed the presence of mind to be incessantly curious and obsessively observant of those around me. Even to the point that for a couple of years - well before my teens, I was convinced that my life’s calling was to be an impersonator. I was utterly blown away by the fact it was possible to change one’s voice and mannerisms in order to elicit an instant transformation of the face, so that, immediately, the person I had been watching, was no longer themselves. They had disappeared and transformed into another being!

I was fascinated by human behavior, especially when the subjects were unaware that they were being observed. Those elusive opportunities where one might witness moments of simple and true behaviour - pure honesty - where the subject simply exists, unaware of anything within their vicinity - floating from thought, to thought, to thought. It then became my sworn duty to alarm, unnerve, startle, shock, annoy, terrorize and panic these unfortunate subjects, who largely turned out to be my family - the poor sods. And all this just to satisfy my need, my fix, for the purity of disrupting their private reveries so as to experience the bona-fide vérité of that inevitable, involuntary reflex and recoil of horror and fear. Why, you ask? Because it made me laugh. I would howl for hours, even days, reliving those instances. But, I needed more. In my youthful glee, I became addicted to these utterly spontaneous, in the moment responses. The truth,’ as they say, ‘will set you free.’ And, it most assuredly did. I’d found my true calling. It was in my DNA to provoke and prod - others as much as myself. I know there is some sliver of cruelty in there, and for that I can undoubtedly salute the chequered history of my unruly gene pool. But, in a bizarre flip, somewhere down the road, all of these rascally provocations from childhood became the tools in my tool box for the work I do today. Was I absolutely positive that there would be ghastly repercussions? Yes! But, I didn’t care. I couldn’t. It was, just simply, plus fort que moi. It was much stronger than me. My props were limited but my mind was not. Rubber snakes, fake spiders, frighteningly strange noises. It had developed to the point where my parents were actually concerned for my sanity as my addled brain conjured up prank after prank to feed my worrying sense of humor and its treacherous obstacle course.

I forged ahead like a bull rhino. The more I learned, the more I became cautious of anyone who might belong to the seemingly straight and narrow, as I’d been driving my teachers insane, and had they been able to catch me in the act, they’d have roasted me! So, I suppose that’s why I never cared much for the suits. They represented the enemy to me. The humor impaired. They were the school principals, the deans, the truant officer, the doctor, the dentist, the fraudulent evangelists. The stern and bitter type folks, incapable of drudging up a smile that hadn’t been born out of their own perverse notion that they held the monopoly on the 'power.’ Authority has always been a problem. Beloved rogues were my heroes. The rule breakers. From Blackbeard, to Dillinger. From Jim Morrison to Iggy Pop. The list goes on. So, my everdarkening adolescent cerebrum reached out to these iconoclastic mavericks, who blatantly scoffed at convention without a care in the world, as organic an urge as taking a breath. They gave me the impetus to escape a life of mundanity. I knew I was destined for something a little more undisciplined and ungoverned. Life was mine to explore! Some have suggested that Captain Jack Sparrow was the pinnacle of that search. But, the truth is that he has always been an integral part of me, from day zero.

Cut To: Day One. Set of POTC 'Curse of the Black Pearl.’ An absurd feeling. Like arriving, for the very first time, in a place you’ve always known. I understood everything. Immediately. This was where I was meant to be. My tumultuous trek, battling toward the edge of honesty’s limits had reached its zenith. However, that battle was not over. It never is, of course, and I had to fight for my vision of the character. My truth. And that vision was realized, thanks to the ‘guts’ of Jerry, Gore, and the finest executive that The Walt Disney Company has ever employed, Dick Cook, not to mention our dedicated and incredible crews - the true soldiers who get these films done with their very blood and sweat!!! They give the film its magic. But, above all, we must thank our dear audience. For, without them, there would be 'no glory.’ We would never have gotten anywhere. But now, here we are, some five movies later with our new directors, Joachim & Espen, administering some fresh wonder, still on the ride and loving it!!!

The future is always a riddle waiting to be solved, but I know that wherever we go, Captain Jack Sparrow will remain close by. His irreverent, absurdist spirit, forever loitering intently beneath the surface of all that threatens to tame us, to bore us, and to trick us.

So, don’t be tamed. Don’t be bored. And don’t be fooled.

Long live the Pirates life.

                                                                  —JOHNNY DEPP (Surrey, 02.05.'17)

New interview in Sunday’s The Observer. Highlights:

On doing press: “Having just turned 40 I hope I’ve achieved some sort of wisdom or patience,” he says in his soft, evenly paced brogue. As a younger man he disliked watching himself on screen; he struggled with press duties and avoided TV chat shows until a few years ago. “I was very uncomfortable with this,” he continues with a gesture at my tape recorder and notepad. “The reductive nature nowadays of most journalism is very frustrating.” One newspaper report on the most recent series of Peaky Blinders focused on the baring of his bottom. “It is getting absurd with the dumbing down, the level of questions you get asked.”

On moving to Dublin and getting a puppy: Murphy moved away, making his home in London with his wife and children Malachy and Aran, now 11 and nine. After 14 years in the British capital, however, they have just relocated to Dublin… “You want to be with your parents as they get older and you want your children to be aware of their culture… Irish people are brilliant and you have to go away and come back to realise it.” Did his boys rebel when they were told they’d be leaving their schoolfriends behind? “We promised them a dog so that was just fine.” A black Labrador arrived, though, he says, “I am the only one that walks it, of course.” 

On Dunkirk: Though Nolan’s films are usually shrouded in secrecy, as Murphy points out: “Everybody knows what happened at Dunkirk, so it can’t deviate too much from the facts. It is not like Inception or Interstellar, there’s no major reveal.” He describes Nolan as an old-fashioned filmmaker. “And while all of his films have big budgets and involve a lot of setet pieces, they always feel like a little independent film for the actor because you only ever have one camera and Chris watches on a tiny little monitor. He is right there beside you.”

On Peaky Blinders: The show will run for two more seasons. “It is some of the best writing I have come across,” he says, “and I never expected to revisit a character like that over and over. It will be about 30 hours of television when we have finished and to shine a light into all these weird parts of the character’s psyche that you would never ever get in the compressed version of a feature film or even a play, that is an extraordinary gift. I am very lucky that it came along. I have always just been about the work.”

On his interests outside acting: “I have not been interested in anything else,” he says. “I know I am old-fashioned, but I don’t want to bring out a fashion line, I don’t want to bring out an album. I just want to do the work as best as I can and if that effects change for somebody, then that is great.” He smiles. “I don’t want to change the world.”

  • Me: *is having a wonderful day*
  • My brain: remember how softly Jyn and Cassian held each other as they died in an inferno after saving the galaxy?
  • Me: welp, back to Depression Mode
She gets hurt. She dies. She catches a fever. She gets taken out by a walker. She gets hit by lightning. Anything, anything happens to her, I’ll kill you.
—  Daryl Dixon, The Walking Dead, 7x10 (New Best Friends)

I am still not over this. I mean… The fact that this was written in the script and filmed and allowed to air… I just. How. His threat is profuse in the most beautiful of ways, it’s so damn passionate. Words don’t do his words justice. I will never be over this. Never.

anonymous asked:

Why is Tom so perfect? He makes me so mad. 😡 He always ends up ruining my life with his bloody perfectness.😭

Well, in his own words:

{gif by @tomscinnamondanish)

So I had to include that just for the sake of argument. ;)

But.

I completely understand what you are saying.  

I really do.

The word doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have flaws.  

For me, he is perfect in the sense that he is kind, patient, gentle, witty, deferential, and fun.  He is intellectually curious  He is educated.  He knows how to listen.  He knows how to converse.  He knows how to have a good time.  He enjoys the simple things.  He is thoughtful.   He is a terrific colleague (by all accounts).  He is very aware and gives his attention to those around him.  He respects language and communicates very well.  He is humble.  He hasn’t adopted certain attitudes and behaviors that are promiment in some men; he is comfortable showing excitement and expressing a variety of emotions.  I’ve never heard him say anything that is cruel or dismissive or flippant, that is misogynistic or indicative of prejudice towards any group.  His manner is polite and affectionate.   I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.  

He just seems to be a genuinely loving, sweet, smart man and that attracts me more than any bulging biceps or flashy cars or pouty lips or Bad Boy attitude or fat wallet ever will.  Full stop.  

I’m still working on getting over him wearing the Yankees cap, but I have decided to accept that he did so out of ignorance.  ;)

It’s like in Emma when Mr.Knightley says that she is faultless in spite of all her faults.  

And I understand, he is infuriating.  I’ve never in my life been so affected by someone with whom I have never spoken.  Sometimes the intensity wanes and then BAM!, it gets so strong, there is an actual physical response.  I don’t even have to be watching one of his interviews of films, just his voice in my imagination is enough.  Ugh.  

Thanks for the message!

Distracted

Summary: Music videos are never completely without Lin taking his girlfriend along.
Warnings: so much romantic crap has been put into this, I apologize

Did I really write a fic about the making of that music video? Why yes, yes I did. This is really short and stuffed with fluff, so you have been warned.

“Bet ten bucks you’re gonna screw up your part.”

“If you say that again, I’m gonna kick you out.”

You laughed, head tipping back, while Lin just glared at you. The two of you were currently at the studio with Jordan and a camera crew, getting ready to shoot another section of the music video. You’d never gotten to see a music video being filmed before, so you probably looked like a dork: gawking at all the equipment and lighting, running your fingers over the piano keys like you’d never seen a piano before.

You thought you’d caught Jordan watching you peer into a camera lens earlier and chuckle to himself. Not that you minded. He was an awfully nice person and you were glad Lin had brought you along (“for moral support,” he claimed). And you could get your revenge on him later. Maybe he couldn’t sing as well if you made faces at him from behind the cameraman….

Your thoughts were interrupted when Lin playfully snatched your ball cap from your head. “Hey!” you protested, jumping up from where you were seated on the piano bench.

“You’re trying to get me to mess up,” he returned. You made to swipe at the hat and he held it up above your head. “You don’t deserve this hat.”

“Lin!” You tried to sound mad at him, you really did, but he was giving you that glowing smile, the one that lit up his whole face. You grabbed at the cap again and he dodged you easily. Your momentum almost sent you stumbling into a microphone stand and you heard Lin snicker. That little— Spinning around, you caught him giving you a deceptively innocent look, as he placed your hat on his own head. You had to admit, he looked cute, with that soft sweater and his dark hair sticking out from under your hat—and dammit, you were getting distracted.

“Gimme that back!” You rushed at him and he swore, hands flying up to hold the hat down on his head. The two of you fought for it like ten-year-olds, you hopping up and down to reach for it and Lin darting this way and that to keep away from you. All the while, both of you were giggling stupidly. A few members of the crew looked on in amusement and someone muttered, “when’s the wedding?”

“Lin, you can’t wear that during the video!”

“Watch me!”

“Ugh!” You jumped again, finally got ahold of the cap’s brim, and promptly crashed into him on your way there. You yelped as your head bumped into his chest and heard him gasp your name when you stepped on his foot. Staggering back, he let go of the hat to steady you, hands settling on your arms. The two of you took a moment to catch your breath, the hat caught between you. With every shaky breath you took, you inhaled the clean, slightly-sweet smell of his cologne. Stifling a shiver, you shyly glanced up at him through your lashes. His hair was charmingly mussed from you whipping the hat off of him and you bit your lip over a smile.

The smile widened when he cast his eyes down toward the floor, bashful. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said softly. Then half of a giddy laugh escaped him when you stretched up to kiss his cheek. “(Y/N)!”

“What?” you asked innocently, placing another light kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Quit it, this is a music video, you know.”

“And?”

“And there are cameras—(Y/N)!” He laughed again as you hooked an arm around his shoulders and danced your fingers over the ticklish spot on his neck. His hands went to your waist as though to push you away, but he didn’t. You let your lips wander toward his neck, grazing hotly along his jawline. His tiny gasp and the tightening of his fingers at your hips had you grinning triumphantly. Tilting your chin up toward him, you used your hold around his neck to pull him close.

“Sorry, am I distracting you, Mr. Miranda?” you murmured into his ear.

“I’m going to kill you,” he vowed, even as he turned his head to nuzzle your hair affectionately.

“Nah, you love me too much.”

“Debatable.”

“And I live with you, so if you kill me, no more of my fabulous cooking.”

“Dammit.”

Then you both jumped when one of the crew called from across the room. “Hey, uh, loverbirds! We should probably start shooting at some point today!”

Lin shot you a flat look, as though to say “look what you did.” But you only stuck your hat back on your head and gave him a push toward the studio. “What’re you waiting for? Get out there,” you teased.

“Yes, Your Highness,” he flashed back, tossing the words to you over his shoulder as he walked away.

You got your revenge later, when you winked at him from behind a cameraman halfway through the first shoot and he completely forgot his lines.

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #132 - Good Will Hunting

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) I find it interesting how when the opening credits say, “Written by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck,” it says Damon’s name over Affleck’s character and vice versa.

2) The first character in the film we really get to know is Stellan Skarsgård as Gerald Lambeau.

You get that Skarsgård has good intentions, even though he is a massive pretentious asshole who hits on his students and judges people not based on how happy they are but more their position in life. A janitor is a failure. A community college teacher is a failure. Any other opinions be damned. He’s not EXCLUSIVELY a bad guy though. You understand his intentions are good and he does learn as the film goes on, but damn if he isn’t just a prick for most of the film.

3) The first tavern scene is a nice way of introducing us to Will and his friends. It creates a sense of community between them and South Boston, a sense of character for every member of the group, and their relationships with each other.

4) Matt Damon as Will Hunting.

Originally posted by sidneyspoitiers

Will is a character who you really get to know over time, and that’s very nice. At first he largely keeps to himself and we get that he doesn’t care about power or prestige. At first that’s a noble thing, but then we learn that this is born less out of humility and more out of fear. Will is a flawed character. He convinces himself of all the disadvantages of somethings, of the shame of it, because he is petrified. His world, his life with his friends, that is safe for him. That is home. And he doesn’t really risk to go for more than that because of his fear of rejection (identified by Robin Williams’ Sean Maguire later in the movie). I think this - along with the beatings he sustained as a child - fuels the aggression we see (and later hear about) when he picks a fight with an old kindergarden bully for no other reason than he just felt like it (and then doesn’t stop until the cops show up).

But Will is SMART. And not like a little smart either, but incredibly intelligent. He’s not afraid to show it either, he doesn’t hide it when he feels a need to use it. But he doesn’t brag about it either. He is not in his friends’ faces with it with an, “I’m so much smarter than you,” attitude. Matt Damon - the film’s cowriter with Ben Affleck - plays Will’s many facets very well. This film is incredibly well cast and most of the actors when you’re watching them don’t FEEL like actors. They feel like the characters, totally and completely. Damon as the lead is no exception.

5) Can I just say: I LIVE for scenes in movies and moments in life where some pretentious condescending asshole is put in their place totally and completely? It’s so cathartic!

6) Minnie Driver as Skylar.

Can I just say I LOVE Skylar, even if she is at risk of falling into the category of manic pixie dream girl on paper. Minnie Driver’s academy award nominated performance in this film just makes her so much MORE than that! I love everything about Skylar: how she approaches Will at the bar and calls him an idiot for not asking her out, how she is able to hold her own against Will’s sense of humor and occasional bullshitting, her laugh, her honesty, her heart! The first time I watched this film I was in awe - more than anything else - with Driver’s realism in the part. She and Damon have knockout chemistry that not only suggests to you their heat but their friendship. It is totally believable that they fall in love in such a quick time, and that is because they work so fucking brilliantly with each other. There is sincerity, trust, comradery, humor, an ability to be themselves around each other. I believe Damon and Driver dated for a while after meeting on this film, and that chemistry shows. I just…gah! I love it so much!

7) Classic.

Will [to the douchebag from the bar]: “Do you like apples?”

Douchebag: “Yeah.”

Will [placing Skylar’s phone number on the glass between them]: “Well I got her number.”

Originally posted by martymontana

8) The way Lambeau treats Will is…interesting, to say the least. At first it seems like he looks down at him. Like he’s his savior and he knows it. There’s a scene where after they’re done doing math together, Lambeau ruffles Will’s hair. Who the hell does that? It changes as the film goes on. You realize that Lambeau grows to understand that Will is truly an unmatched genius, but early on it’s…weird.

9) The string of psychiatrists Lambeau takes Will to see is very telling and very entertaining. It shows how smart Will is, but also how abrasive he is. How he scoffs at authority and the need for help. It’s a funny scene but it greatly tells to Will’s deeper struggles.

10) Robin Williams as Sean Maguire.

Originally posted by maryjosez

Williams won his first and only Oscar based on his performance in this film, and damn if it isn’t clear why. Williams is chameleonic. Yes you know its Robin Williams playing him, yes he brings some of his trademark improv comedy (more on that later), but you don’t SEE Williams. All you see is Sean, and that is incredible. Damon and Affleck took a character who could have easily been just the token mentor. The Obi-Wan to Will’s Luke Skywalker. But they did more. They gave Sean his own struggles, his own grief, his own desires, his own conflict, his own arc, and made a truly compelling character who can hold his own against Damon’s Will.

You learn a lot about Sean as the film goes along. You learn how his life is defined by his love and loss of his wife, you see that he is able to relate to actual people, that he hates the MIT snobs. The dude chokes Will out for insulting his wife at one point and is the first therapist to kick Lambeau out of his session. Meaning he takes his time with Will far more seriously than the other therapists.

The chemistry between Williams and Damon is on par with the chemistry between Driver and Damon, although of a fundamentally different nature. Williams as Sean is able to sift through Will’s bullshit, knows when he doesn’t need to put up with it, and is able to slowly make this character who is so afraid of rejection comfortable around him. I think it’s the key relationship in the film, and I love it.

11) Danny Elfman’s score in this film is beautiful. Elfman is known for his more macabre work through collaborations with directors like Tim Burton and Sam Raimi, but here he creates a hopeful and sincere melody which carries you through the film like a leaf on the wind. I think it’s great.

12) The scene where Sean is talking to Will on a park bench is somewhat iconic, but I think it is very powerful for one key reason: the filmmakers decided to keep it on William’s performance for most of the scene. They did not cut between him and Damon, they let his acting and his heart carry those minutes and it is incredible I think. You can watch for yourself if you so desire:

This is my favorite line from that monologue:

Sean: “You’re an orphan right. Do you think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been - how you feel, who you are - because I read Oliver Twist?”

People like to say they know what other people are going through, but unless they have personally they don’t have any idea what they’re talking about. Thank you to this film for having that line in there. I love it.

13) According to IMDb:

The lines in the scene when Sean talks about his late wife’s farting antics were ad-libbed by Robin Williams. That is why Matt Damon was laughing so hard. If you watch the scene carefully you can notice the camera shaking a bit, possibly due to the cameraman laughing as well.

14) This film does an excellent job in balancing the aspects of Will’s life. We get the perfect looks at his relationship with his friends, with Skylar, with Sean, and with Lambeau. There’s not too much and there’s not too little, it’s just right.

15) It is interesting to see how Will lets his guard down with Skylar in some regards while also keeping it up in some ways (namely, lying about how he has 12 brothers).

16) I love Skylar’s story with Will’s friends.

Minnie Driver is gold.

17)

Lambeau [after Sean says they should let Sean go down his own path]: “It worked wonders for you didn’t it?”

Sean: “Yeah it did you arrogant fucking prick.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

WHETHER OR NOT SOMEONE HAS LIVED A GOOD LIFE IS NOT BASED ON THEIR STATURE. IT IS NOT BASED ON THEIR JOB, THEIR WEALTH, THEIR LOOKS, NOTHING LIKE THAT. IT IS EXCLUSIVELY BASED ON HOW HAPPY THEY ARE LIVING THEIR LIFE AND HOW MUCH PAIN THEY ARE OR ARE NOT CAUSING OTHERS!!!!

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

I have a lot of strong feelings on this matter, can you tell?

18) I love how Will explains the way his brain works. How he says Mozart and Beethoven could just look at a piano and play, that’s how his brain works with history and numbers and science and stuff. It actually makes a lot of sense despite being pretty vague.

19) Get ready to have your heart broken by Will being a fucking idiot.

GODDAMN IT WILL!!!!!

20) Will’s whole monologue about why he doesn’t take a job with the NSA because of what COULD happen and one hypothetical leading to another is just a perfect example of him using his intellect to rationalize his fears in a bullshit way.

Will [in a session with Sean]: “Why shouldn’t I work for the N.S.A.? That’s a tough one, but I’ll take a shot. Say I’m working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I’m real happy with myself, ‘cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin’, “Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area” 'cause they don’t give a shit. It won’t be their kid over there, gettin’ shot. Just like it wasn’t them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin’ a tour in the National Guard. It’ll be some kid from Southie takin’ shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he’ll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain’t helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they’re takin’ their sweet time bringin’ the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin’ play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain’t too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy’s out of work and he can’t afford to drive, so he’s got to walk to the fuckin’ job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin’ him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he’s starvin’, 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they’re servin’ is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I’m holdin’ out for somethin’ better. I figure fuck it, while I’m at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.”

Originally posted by loadsof-gifs

21) One of my favorite scenes in this film is Chuckie’s reaction after Will says he’s going to stay in south Boston his whole life.

Chuckie: “Look, you’re my best friend, so don’t take this the wrong way but, in 20 years if you’re still livin’ here, comin’ over to my house, watchin’ the Patriots games, workin’ construction, I’ll fuckin’ kill ya. That’s not a threat, that’s a fact, I’ll fuckin’ kill ya.”

He is like the only one - between Skylar, Sean, and Lambeau - to actually get through to Will. And that is because he speaks Will’s language. It’s one of my favorite character moments in the film.

22) I do really love the climax of the film (Sean telling Will, “It’s not your fault,” for his foster dad beating on him and Will breaking down into tears) even if I’m aware of some of it’s flaws. This is a turning point for Will, but if he were in therapy in real life this wouldn’t be the end. Also most therapists don’t treat their patients this way. But that’s the beauty of fiction: we have this thing called suspension of disbelief which makes movies fun to watch! :D

Originally posted by 80slater

23) I think the ending for this film is quite lovely. So many different ideas from earlier play into effect, Will goes to make up with Skylar (headcanon: he gets her back after much groveling and attempts to convince her he’s changed), and what Matt Damon said was Robin Williams’ best improvised line in the film.

Will [in a note he leaves for Sean]: "Sean, if the Professor calls about that job, just tell him, sorry, I have to go see about a girl.“

Originally posted by clintb


Good Will Hunting is a classic of cinema. It features excellent writing that features a heartwarming story, supported by incredible performances across the board. Williams, Damon, and Driver are all particular standouts, but the film is just so good. Perhaps a little overrated, but still incredible. Go see it!

DAY 3365

Malta                      June 14,  2017               Wed 8:50 PM local time 





Birthday - Ef Sejal Shah …   Ef Sunita Roy      
 Thu, June 15 .. and it is time to celebrate the birthday’s of two of our Ef’s .. may you both have a wonderful June 15th .. with love and wishes from all the Ef  …






And another gruelling day comes to an end on the sets of ‘Thugs of Hindostan’, the labour of great effort by production, on a film that has immense detailing and needing the efforts of several professionals in their respective fields ..

Most commendable to find the kind of management that today’s film productions go through .. the clarity of the work, timings, preparations and the execution to the dot .. most impressive and deserving laudatory reactions ..

And as I sit to run through the day in the mind, needing to respond to the social media, to the Ef in all their finery and art, one of the picture librarians amongst us sends a picture :

This be the Filmfare Awards night and the Best Actor trophy going to Sanjeev Kumar, for the film ‘Aandhi’ .. and yours truly invited to present it to him ..

The Filmfare Awards were the only award event in the film industry at the time .. it was still the property of Bennett Coleman, editored by Mr Karanjia , and the concept and event idea coming from senior heads at Times of India ..

Unlike the times of today where the results are announced, with some amount of dramatic uncertainty, much like the Oscars, the Filmfare Award was then a predetermined and announced winners list .. 

So the winners were announced almost a month in advance by the magazine .. the process being one of some kind of judgement by the paper themselves, or perhaps a jury system .. Sanjeev Kumar was adjudged Best Actor .. 

It was the year that ‘Deewar’ was also in the running, and barring yours truly, all the others connected with the film were rewarded ..

I was  personae non grater for the entire media world then, particularly for the film media, because for some reason, it was understood and believed that the Press Ban brought about during the time of the Emergency in the country, and it was during those times, the person responsible for it was ME .. an utterly nonsensical and absurd accusation - much like the hundreds of others that I have had to face through out my existence so far - and therefore acknowledging that fact, the entire media banned me ..

Nothing was ever printed or written about me .. no coverage of any of my films or my works .. and no pictures if I was to attend a function. The photographers would put down their cameras on the platform where I stood and so long as I was there, they protested and never took a single photograph .. if there were to be a credit title description of a film .. for eg., say ‘Nastik’ .. it would be Hema Malini, (,) and Pran .. I was the comma in the film and so on ..

When the media banned me, I felt I should ban them too, which I did .. so no media was allowed on my sets, I gave no interviews and never met any journalists .. this went on for several years .. I think almost 15 years .. until the moment when I relented .. I relented when one of the leading magazines that had religiously refused to carry any information or write up or mention, wrote a most sympathetic and compassionate piece in their magazine .. I was surprised of course, but did not reject it either .. it was the time when I had had my ‘Coolie’ accident and was in the Breach Candy Hospital .. when I came out recovered, I did seek an appointment with the Editor and owner of the magazine and asked why he had done what he did, despite the ban ..

In his most forthright and honest manner he said .. “we were upset and annoyed with you, because of what you had done to the media, and we wanted you to fail .. but we did not want you to die .. and so we wrote this piece when you recovered” ..

It was an emotional moment and from then on we have been the normal best as before ..

But then I have digressed ..  not without reason .. the Filmfare Award was a page out of this ban .. not giving me recognition for ‘Deewar’, was fine by me .. whether it rode the theory of the ban or not does not bother me .. Hari Bhai, Sanjeev Kumar was an exceptional artist, a dear friend, and the vote of the jury was to be accepted .. 

I have often countered that moment with my own assessment and stated on many an occasion, even at a Filmfare event, that not giving recognition for ‘Deewar’ was perfectly acceptable, because, I argued, if Filmfare did not give Dilip Kumar the Best Actor for ‘Gunga Jamuna’, his best ever performance according to me, then ..’mai kis khet ki mooli hoon’ ..

Anyway, in those days the surprise element unlike today, was not who won .. that was out a month before .. the surprise element would be who is going to present the Award !

During the time of the media and press ban, my films ironically, were the biggest hits, and so in a sense giving acceptance to that, Filmfare invited me to the Award function, and announced me to give the Best Actor Award to Sanjiv Kumar .. many commentators of the time and rival media when talking to me, expressed opinion that the move was to deliberately humiliate me by performing this deed .. I have never given any credence to this opinion and never paid any attention to it .. 

But in all fairness I must mention here, that soon after the event was over, the next day I did get a letter from the Editor, Mr Karanjia who generously thanked me for attending the function despite the media ban, and acknowledged the fact, in his own words .. ‘despite all else, you did get the largest applause of the evening’ !! 

To me that was my award  .. 

Award functions and events are a gracious evening of recognition of talent ..

They are also a funny business  .. 

If some one rewards me in recognition of my work, I shall accept them, most humbly, with grace .. if they do not, I shall equally and in all humility accept their decision ..

After all …

‘Man ka ho toh achcha .. na ho toh zyaada achcha”!


Love 

Amitabh Bachchan

i know i’m just going to be one in a long line of many but i have to talk about wonder woman.

i’m 27 years old. i have seen hundreds of movies in theaters, been to midnight showings, stood in line for hours to get to see my favorite films. and never once, not once, did i leave a theater feeling the way wonder woman made me feel. 

i texted my brother immediately after and asked “is this what boys feel like when they leave movies all the time?”. because i had never experienced this - a movie made for my gaze. for the female gaze. 

and at first i didn’t realize it, but as i watched the movie my jaw was on the floor. no over-sexualization. no “caring makes you weak”. no “she’s the hero but let’s have the man save her once”. 

it is a movie made with women in mind. 

i’m 27 years old and i’ve never seen a blockbuster movie that was aimed at my point of view. that understood my point of view.

she’s a hero made for women. this isn’t to say men won’t love wonder woman, they will, but she isn’t here for male pleasure. and it was honestly the most refreshing thing i’ve ever seen.

there are hundreds of things i loved about wonder woman, i could make a hundred different text posts about it and maybe i will, but if nothing else i had to make one about this. 

wonder woman made me feel heard. seen. acknowledged. empowered. 

and i will forever be grateful for that. 

Music Series: Don’t by Ed Sheeran

I have been staring…and staring…and staring…at these lyrics.

I’ve listened to this song numerous times since it was released, being an Ed Sheeran fan (looking forward to his concert in August).

Over-specific songs are my lyrical nemesis. Touché, dear Anon, touché.

I remember this song being linked to Niall and Ellie Goulding, but Ed makes no-bones (pardon me while I giggle at my ‘bone’ reference like a teenage boy) about his meaning. Hyper-specification aside, I will do my best to write some lyrical, literary genius to wow you all…please don’t throw melons, they hurt. Berries and bananas are preferred. Antioxidants and potassium, you know. Or money…you could throw money, if you like….

Here is “Don’t” by Ed Sheeran, which can be found on Spotify, HERE.

Shelli

*************************

Ah lahmlahlah, Ah lahmlahlah

I met this girl late last year

She said, “Don’t you worry if I disappear.”

I told her I’m not really looking for another mistake

I called an old friend thinking that the trouble would wait

But then I jump right in A week later returned

I reckon she was only looking for a lover to burn

But I gave her my time for two or three nights

Then I put it on pause until the moment was right

I went away for months until our paths crossed again

She told me, “I was never looking for a friend.

Maybe you could swing by my room around 10:00.

Baby, bring a lemon and a bottle of gin.

We’ll be in between the sheets ‘til the late AM.

Baby, if you wanted me then you should’ve just said.”

She’s singing, Ah lahmlahlah

“Hey, how are you?” Harry asked you excitedly as he passed you coming out of the hotel lobby doors as he was walking in.

Your mind immediately returned to a few weeks before when you had met him during his tour and you both had a bit too much to drink in the hotel bar.

Come up to my suite with me?” you had asked him boldly that night. “Bit of liquor there, too, if you like.”

You felt his lips kiss your cheek lightly as he quietly spoke in your ear, “Let’s go.

One night turned into two as you enjoyed each other’s company in your hotel room suite. Neither of you really looked for anything more than a good bit of fun, and that is definitely what you had.

And for a couple weeks I only wanna see her

We drink away the days with a take-away pizza

Before a text message was the only way to reach her

Now she’s staying at my place and loves the way I treat her

Singing out Aretha all over the track like a feature

And never wants to sleep, I guess that I don’t want to either

But me and her we make money the same way

Four cities, two planes the same day

And those shows have never been what it’s about

But maybe we’ll go together and just figure it out

I’d rather put on a film with you and sit on a couch

But we should get on a plane or we’ll be missing it now

Wish I’d have written it down the way that things played out

When she was kissing him how I was confused about

Now she should figure it out while I’m sat here singing

Ah lahmlahlah

It was sex. Lots of sex. Really, really good sex.

Even after Harry had returned home from working and traveling for awhile, he invited you to come spend time with him in his down time. He was becoming more and more accustomed to seeing your face, wanting you around him more, and was happy when you accepted the invitation to come stay with him. But after a fun, flirtatious-filled visit, you both found yourselves once again, traveling with your jobs.

Wish you were here,’ you texted to him from thousands of miles away.

Harry smiled as he read it, and replied with, ‘Missing you terribly’.

So the day he received your text that read, ‘Back in town! Hope to see you while I’m here xo’, he was excited and immediately invited you to come.

Harry ran out to the store and bought a few things, eager for you to come that night for dinner and whatever else it led to. Stepping out of the store with his bag of groceries, Harry stopped in his tracks when he looked toward a vehicle near his and saw you next to it, a man unlocking your door with his arm around your waist. Harry watched in disbelief as he saw you plant a quick kiss to the man’s lips, smiling, then ducking into the car. Had he really just seen you with another man, kissing him?

[Knock knock knock] on my hotel door

I don’t even know if she knows what for

She was crying on my shoulder, I already told ya

Trust and respect is what we do this for

I never intended to be next

But you didn’t need to take him to bed that’s all

And I never saw him as a threat

Until you disappeared with him to have sex of course

It’s not like we were both on tour

We were staying on the same fucking hotel floor

And I wasn’t looking for a promise or commitment

But it was never just fun and I thought you were different

This is not the way you realize what you wanted

It’s a bit too much, too late if I’m honest

And all this time God knows I’m singing

Ah lahmlahlah

Harry sat in his living room, elbows on his knees as he tried to think what to do. You were due to arrive in less than an hour, and he debated whether to let you come to explain yourself, or call you and admit what he saw and call it a lesson learned. Feeling the vibration on his phone, he saw the text you had just sent which read, ‘Be there soon, can’t wait to see you!’, and with that, Harry knew he wanted to confront you.

Did he have a right to interrogate you or question why, when technically you weren’t a couple? Had he ever led you to believe that you were in an open relationship, that he was doing the same thing with other women as you were with the man he saw you with?

Was it even really a relationship at all? You had had such good times together. Sure, it was having fun. Absolutely, it was great sex. But had you ever silently agreed, somehow, to see each other exclusively?

Harry’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his doorbell ringing. He stood, taking a deep breath, and walking to the door, opening it to see you standing in front of him.

“Hey!” you exclaimed happily, wrapping your arms around him as you walked inside. You sensed a stiffness about him and pulled back, looking at him. “You look good! How are you?”

Harry began to speak but lost his words for a moment, almost reconsidering his intentions when he saw how good you looked. It only took him seeing you with the man in his mind to shake the thought away again.

“Come in,” Harry said directly. “We need to talk.”

After hearing Harry tell you about seeing you earlier with the man, you sat in shock and a tinge of guilt, unsure of what to say. Harry wasn’t your boyfriend. Neither was the man earlier.

“Harry, is that what you thought we had?” you ask him, not intending to be rude, just trying to figure out what was happening.

“I thought we were close enough to not mess around with other people is what I thought,” he said, straight-forward, watching your expressions closely. “I guess I was wrong.”

“You have never once led me to believe that you ever wanted more than just…what we’ve had…fun…amazing sex…enjoying each other’s company,” you reply. “I thought that was all you wanted from me. So that’s all I’ve given you.”

“I thought we had something really great together,” Harry says, shaking his head.

“We did. We do,” you said, a bit miffed that he had never made his intentions known, and mad at yourself for not realizing. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize.”

“We’ve been meeting up for weeks! It’s not been only fun for me since that first time together! I’ve had sex with no one but you!” he shouted. “Can you say the same?” Your inability to answer the question was answer enough. “Fuck! I thought that meant something!”

“Harry, we had sex within an hour of meeting each other!” you yell. “Have you ever told me you wanted me to see only you? Have you once ever asked me to be your girlfriend, or expressed to me that this…this thing we’ve had going, was more than just fun and sex? I thought that was all you wanted! If you wanted it to mean more, maybe you should have said that!”

“You should have known!” he returned.

“How?!” you shout. “How was I supposed to know? We see each other for a couple of days every few weeks, and most of that time is spent naked seeing how many times we can make each other cum. You tell me how that translates to wanting more than just sex!”

Harry sat quietly, knowing you made a good point, but still hurt by what he had seen and how you were acting now.

“You don’t even seem sorry!” Harry said loudly.

“I’m not sorry!” you answer, frustrated. “Harry, I wasn’t looking for there to be more than just having fun with you.”

“It’s never been ‘just fun’ for me!” he yelled.

“Then maybe you should have fuckin’ said that!” you shout. “That’s not what you implied that you wanted with me. I love spending time with you, I do. But I never knew you wanted more.”

You both sit quietly for a long moment, unsure of what either of you wanted now, or what should happen.

“I think, maybe it’s just a bit too much, too late…don’t you?” he says, hesitantly, hoping you might argue and beg him to reconsider. After a bit of silence, you speak.

“Yeah…maybe so…” you say, standing and walking to the door, more out of frustration than anything. As you open the door, you turn and look at Harry. “I don’t know if it helps or hurts, but…I had to force myself to try and not fall in love with you, because I didn’t think you wanted more, and I didn’t want a broken heart when you didn’t feel the same way.” You look him directly in the eyes, disappointed, and take a deep breath. “Take care, Harry.”

Harry walked to the window near the door and watched as you walked away. Maybe he was equally at fault. Maybe he wasn’t as angry as he had been. Maybe someday…but not yet…

Don’t fuck with my love

That heart is so cold

All over my home

I don’t wanna know that babe

Ah lahmlahlah

Don’t fuck with my love

I told her she knows

Take aim and reload

I don’t wanna know that babe

Ah lahmlahlah

********************

BOOM! Take that, lyrics! xo

Shelli

Lesbian Movies The World Deserves And Needs:

1. Love Actually, but with the cast of The L Word as all of the characters, even though they would do terrible British accents.

2. Cheaper By The Dozen, but it’s about a lesbian couple with 12 dogs.

3. Bend It Like Beckham, except without the useless male coach. Jess and Jules (JULES, come on) would just snog at the end and all would be right with the world.

4. Clueless, but Tai gives Cher a plaid and Doc Martens makeover. They fall in love, and Cher sensibly decides not to get off with her sort-of-stepbrother.

5. Juno, but she never accidentally gets knocked up, because she’s a lesbian. The End.

6. The Notebook, but it’s about a cute old lesbian couple who’ve been together for years and got married as soon as it became legal. It’s even more upsetting than the first movie.

7. Heathers, but with more sex and less death.

8. Step Up, but Jenna Dewan plays both her character and Channing Tatum’s character. She leads a troupe of empowered queer lady dancers.

9. Adventureland, but Jesse Eisenberg is just Ellen Page.

10. Bring It On, but Kirsten Dunst and Gabrielle Union have a secret Romeo and Juliet style love affair, and get thrown out of their teams for fraternizing with the enemy. Ultimately their romance unites both teams because love and cheerleading conquers all.

11. Grease, but Danny is a leather biker butch with exactly the same haircut and wardrobe.

12. Brokeback Mountain, but with Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams as the cowgirls. Their husbands are just there in the background, for colour.

13. Mulan, but she decides to keep her new look, rejects Li Shang, and gets off with some random chick in the end.

14. Mean Girls, but Regina and Cady have a turbulent love affair and get outed in the Burn Book.

15. My Big Fat Greek Lesbian Wedding.

16. Twilight, but Bella falls for Edward’s sister with the spikey hair instead. Edward and Jacob also run off together. Honestly, this is a better love story than Twilight.

17. Titanic, but Jack is a girl. The character looks exactly the same, though. Also they both fit on the big door in the end and start a new life together in New York, ultimately using Rose’s wealth and Jack’s street smarts to open an illegal speakeasy when prohibition comes into force.

18. The Princess Diaries, but with none of the male love interests with bad hair because they’re all trash. Mia ultimately realises she’s been in love with her best friend the whole time and they run off to be joint Queens of Genovia.

19. Bridget Jones, where Bridget gets revenge on Daniel by sleeping with hot Natasha from the New York office.

20. Whip It, but Ellen Page’s character ditches the lame band dude, and has steamy sex in the diner with Alia Shawkat instead.

21. When Harry Met Sally, where Sally ditches Harry in the end because it turns out she’s been having an affair with her friend Carrie Fisher, who has a lovely cropped haircut, the entire time.

22. Jenny’s Wedding, except cast with actresses with actual chemistry who do more than politely hold hands in bed. Definitely Samira Wiley.

23. Pride and Prejudice, but Lizzie Bennet decides that marriage isn’t for her in the end, because Darcy is a bit of a prick. She moves into a lovely little cottage with her “intimate friend” Charlotte Lucas.

24. 10 Things I Hate About You, but Kat never forgives Patrick for the bet and gets off with the lead singer of the band instead.

25. Cruel Intentions, but that one spitty kiss actually goes somewhere.

26. The Hunger Games, but Katniss ditches both dudes and gets off with Johanna in a tree in the second movie. They take over Panem and resolve the war several months earlier.

27. Pitch Perfect, but Anna Kendrick makes out with the hot ginger singer in the shower right at the beginning, and we never meet the boring man who loves films.

28. She’s The Man, but Viola decides she likes the blazers and short hair and decides to stay that way.

29. Thelma and Louise, but in the end they decide life is worth living, and start a remote lesbian commune together.

30. The Sound Of Music, but with some hints that the nuns are getting it on the whole time.

31. Chicago, but with more Orange Is The New Black style prison sex scenes. Preferably involving Catherine Zeta Jones and Queen Latifah.

32. Ghostbusters (2016), but Kate Mckinnon snogs someone, literally any other woman, even for just a second.

33. But I’m A Cheerleader 2.