i will never ever forget them

So I heard the news about Ariana Grande’s concert in Manchester this morning and I’m honestly so, so heartbroken over it. It was mostly little girls and teenagers that attended, and being a teenager who works with children, I’ve had this horrible cloud hanging over my head all day about it. Looking at the primary age kids I help teach, I can’t believe anyone would ever even think about putting innocent, vulnerable tiny people like them at risk, especially when they’re out to relax and enjoy themselves…
Truly heartbroken, I pray for the victims, I pray for the dead and injured and families of, I pray for Ariana who will never forget this her entire career and life. Stay safe everyone, especially those in Manchester.

so much has happened today and i dont know how or what to feel. it’s devastating to read about the lives that were lost today or the families looking for their loved ones. it makes you realize how short our lives our and how easily to could be taken away from us. i have a friend, gina, who passed due to the horrific incident in manchester today and i just hope and pray that she’s doing well up there and her family is being supported in every way possible. life is so so short so never forget to tell everyone you know how much you appreciate them. no one would think of ever losing someone in something this tragic, but it happens and it’s happening a lot so please do tell your mum and dad and sister and brother and best friend and everyone else you know that you love them because you wont ever know when it’s your last.

stay safe everyone.
and to the 22 souls taken today, the skies gained new stars. shine bright, fly high.

i am so fucking tired of how when a girl group disbands, everyone is suddenly their biggest fan. you sit there and write your disingenuous texts posts about how much you revered them and how ‘girl groups deserve better’ just to forget all about it a week later. until, and inevitably so at that, another one disbands and it starts all over again. it’s a constant cycle. it never ends and it does my head in. i know there are people who are genuinely upset please don’t think i’m trying to disregard that. the fans have every single right to be sad it’s the people who act like they ever actually gave a single shit about them is what angers me. suddenly jumping on the bandwagon of loving a certain girl group just because they’ve disbanded doesn’t help anyone. if anything it just adds to the already huge problem of girl groups constantly getting swept under the rug and disbanding as a result. if you claim to be so upset by it and want to make a change, actually do something about. support girl groups before disbandment is even a word used in the same sentence as their name. support girl groups because you care about them not so you can rake in a few thousand notes on a post you aren’t even sincere about. support girl groups purely and utterly for the reason of actually supporting girl groups. it’s as simple as that.

Dear you

Hi…it’s me I know you don’t care to listen to anything I have to say but I have so many things on my mind, so many questions.

Could we just rewind our time together and pause at the exact moment where we went wrong. or where I went wrong?

I can’t sleep without thinking, what did I do so wrong to make you hate me or love me less? What happened to us against the world? now it’s you against me..

Please tell me why you can’t stand to hear my name or treat it like it  is a forbidden word in your secret language in which I thought I understood but these days it has become questionable.

Do you remember the promise we made to one another? the one about never leaving each other behind? well I guess that was nothing more than a phrase to you which had no meaning to you but did you know it meant everything to me?

I cried every single day helplessly begging for you to just reach out to me or throw me a life jacket but instead you abandon me and left to drown because I couldn’t keep myself afloat.

Call me naïve but I really believed you were on my side, call me pathetic for thinking you truly loved me. call me whatever you want but just know despite the bitterness you were the sweetest love I ever knew.

Hey….I know you remember me because you told me you will never forget me but I hope you remember me as the only one who loved every part of you even though you tore me apart and left me with emptiness in my heart and soul.

One last thing please love the next person the way you couldn’t love me, you at least owe them that.

sincerely
me

—  Tenari Ioapo Excerpt from a book I may write.
And there I was again. That night that I got to see you after a long time and you looked at me like you used to, with those eyes I fell in love with. How could I ever forget them? So, when I remembered that look I also remembered how it was loving you, and suddenly I fell in love with you all over again. I promised to myself that I was never going to think of you again. I didn’t keep my promise after all.
—  lydiaasl 

Matt said yes guys, what a surprise, wow.


HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF TECHIENICIAN!
(Oldest post is here, and here’s the first content for the ship. I don’t know who picked the name “Techienician”, please tell me if you know! I’d love to credit them here :D).

This post was triggered by something that @roachpatrol​ said over here about the expectation for girls to be sweet and clean and harmless:

Holy shit, if I was eight years younger and wandering into fandom for the first time, I can guarantee that the culture right now would’ve fucked me up and ground me down and taken away all my healthy outlets.

Picture: you are a girl at the tender young age of mumbledyteen. Up until this point you have been taught that all dark thoughts are literally hand-delivered into your head by the devil, and that the only correct method of dealing with negativity is to ignore them and pray harder. Concentrate on what is good and righteous and pure to the exclusion of all else, this is how you be a good person.

You are also a fully-functioning human being, one who can feel stressed or lonely or angry or any number of bad things. Mostly, with emotions that are still working themselves out, you feel this rumbling, white-hot white noise under everything, all the time. Sometimes it rolls in like a thunderstorm and everything else gets drowned out, and sometimes it’s only quietly muttering in the distance. Either way it’s always there, and the sound shreds uncomfortably at the inside of your brain.

When you were younger, before you were in charge of your own media consumption, your brain would shred up a myriad of saccharine stories to try and match the noise of the shredder in your head. Bad things happening, people getting hurt, characters trapped in unhealthy relationships of all kinds.

Fanfiction, the product of a hundred thousand other mumbledyteens whose brains are all screaming the same way, makes something in your brain go ping

Unfortunately, if the planet had ever been united on any single message, it was probably that no matter how you feel: 1) your feelings weren’t unique 2) they didn’t matter 3) they didn’t matter because they weren’t unique, they were shared among millions of hysterical, worthless teenaged girls just like you.

Fandom was confirmation of the first, but (with some hiccups along the way) outright rejection of the last two. Fuck you, our feelings do matter, and this is a story just for us.

A disclaimer: these aren’t good stories, otherwise they wouldn’t have to be defended. Their flavor of topic is not within societally acceptable bounds. Fictional characters have sex and get tortured and raped and abused, but their screaming harmonizes with the pitch of the shredder when it’s burrowing deepest.


As a teenager I never thought that my feelings were important enough to deal with, but these stories let me look at them sideways. Audience catharsis is the whole point of tragedy, after all.

And hell, these days I’m a happy, healthy adult who barely even has the urge to go looking for whump fic when I’ve had a bad week. I’m not going to forget just how much bad stuff that fic helped me air out, though, not ever. (Not to mention that thanks to all of those abuse!fics, I can recognize an unhealthy relationship at 500 paces, even if the fictional abuse was depicted as something loving and romantic. Abusers in real life don’t go around with helpful warning tags on their sleeves anyway.)

But holy shit, can you imagine if I’d found fandom as it is today.

Yes, your church is right, your family is right. Horrible things in stories are only there because they were written by horrible people, and they’re only popular because horrible people read them. The very concepts they address corrupt everything they touch.

That shredder in your head, the one that takes innocent cartoons but then shits out sadness and mayhem? That’s disgusting, you’re disgusting. How dare you think about minors having underaged sex, you minor? How dare you consider another person getting hurt? Your feelings don’t matter, they aren’t unique, they’re shared with all kinds of worthless shitbags just like you.

Every ounce of what you read and write and enjoy is going to be weighed for sin and tested for purity. You know, just like the rest of your life, except this time there’s no deity who’s handing out second chances.

Maybe that’s what bothers me most about all of this. It’s the same petty fandom bullshit as always, but “you’re wrong for liking a ship because IT WILL NEVER BE CANON” is a hell of a lot easier to laugh off when you’re young than “you’re wrong for liking a ship because YOU’RE AN ABUSIVE PEDOPHILE AND IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR PERPETUATING IT.”

My fault, my bad thoughts, no outlet for any of them. The message to repress all the bad things so I can look like a good person, but my brain is so full of unprocessed shit that it’s solidified. Nobody actually saved any real children, but my brain sure is getting a second dose of fucked-up.

Are the people getting attacked going to be okay, will they be able to go and address their braingremlins somewhere else? I’d also ask if the people doing the attacking are okay, with all of the denial and repression they must deal with, but it seems like they’ve got venting pretty well handled by taking it out on strangers. 

Hey, c’mon, calm down friends. I bet I’ve read a story that’s got a character screaming at just the same pitch you are.

It helps to read one of those and harmonize your voices, I promise.

I loved her,” he said,
“I think a part of me always will love her. She made me feel alive and after 19 years on this planet I finally felt like someone understood me, I don’t believe in soul mates much but I do believe that I was meant to meet her. But months passed and she tried so hard to make me a better person because lord knows I didn’t treat her half as good as I should’ve. I loved her but I struggled to show it, I struggled to let anyone in enough for them to know me because I was too damn afraid of letting someone fuck me up even more than I already am. So instead I had to let her go and my god I won’t ever forget the look on her face or how much her eyes glistened from the tears she was trying to hold back when I told her I was leaving.
But I had to let her go because I knew what was best for her, and it wasn’t me.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write
Because some asked why I needed Truthwitch to break out...

Some people have asked me what I meant by a statement in my postmortem – about WHY I needed Truthwitch to break out (because if it didn’t, my career was over). I’m not sure how in-depth I’ve been in my newsletter, so here’s an answer for you:

Basically, my first series tanked. I mean…tanked. We’re talking, Truthwitch sold more copies in its first two weeks than the entire SS&D series COMBINED.

Bad sales hurt an author – you’re way better off as an untested debut than an author with shitty sales. So I was at a crossroads in my career, where the plan was to change my name. That way, I could be a “debut” again. (Sadly, this happens a LOT in the industry. Which is why please do not pirate our books!)

But then Tor decided to take a chance on me. Because they’re a small (and amazing) house, they have more room to take on projects that they’re passionate about (instead of just commercially successful). HOWEVER, if Truthwitch didn’t sell well…. Then yeah. That was it. “Susan Dennard” would be dead, and I’d have to reinvent/start over my career.

There’s no shame in that. I was totally willing to reinvent! The problem was that I had this great audience for my writing advice – thousands upon thousands of people who were coming back for my blog and newsletter. Yet none of them were buying my books. Which is fine – I don’t give free writing help to sell copies. I do it because I love doing it.

BUT…if I reinvented myself, I would lose what little crossover I had between writing-advice-fans and book-readers – not to mention the handful of amazing fans who did like the SS&D trilogy (I will never ever forget my wonderful Misfits!).

So…I needed + desperately wanted Truthwitch to sell well. I wanted Tor to be happy. I wanted to keep my name. That led to me going “all in” on self-promo.

Full disclosure: I allocated $15,000 of my advance to promote Truthwitch. (Which, in case you’re wondering, was most of the advance.) I ended up going over that amount…by a lot. Costs ranged from travel to important events (this was really where the bulk got eaten up!) to running/maintaining my street team (swag, postage, hiring an assistant to help me keep it going) to learning how to + making my own book trailer.***

And like…I honestly don’t even know what kind of TIME I spent promoting. It was a lot more than I thought it would be. Literally most of 2015.

But…it paid off, right? At least in terms of “success.” I’m a New York Times Bestseller now!!

That said, I haven’t earned back the money I spent yet (“bestseller” doesn’t automatically mean “rich”), and I will never get back the time I spent. Plus, the nightmare that was 2016 as I tried to rush-create Windwitch

It begs the question: were the costs worth the rewards? I don’t know. I think so since, hopefully, the rewards will continue to pay forward for a long time – and my career is definitely growing!

Best of all, though, I CAN KEEP MY NAME. Susan Dennard. C’est moi pour toujours. ❤️

Edit:

I want to add two more things – because this post has opened up a lot of conversations I wasn’t expecting to have (but welcome!!).

First: I cannot emphasize enough just how important LUCK is in this equation. On top of the time, money, publisher-partnership, and salty desperation that I poured into Truthwitch, I ALSO GOT LUCKY. I had the Right Book at the Right Moment with the Right Cover in the Right Genre coming out in the Right Month.

A publisher can pour all the money in the world into a book, but nothing will make readers buy it. There is no predicting trends.

So a lot of the success of Truthwitch (which is still pretty small, relatively speaking. I’m not a Big Author by any means!!) boils down to that intangible, finicky sprite known as Lady Luck.

Second: This is just ROUND ONE of “reinvention.” I have no illusions or expectations that my success will remain. The Witchlands series has already exceeded my wildest hopes, but no author stays “on top” forever. It’s a constant up and down, and frankly, we’re all just really lucky to even be able to share our words in the first place.

Sure, I’d love to be successful forever, but it’s not my primary dream – and definitely not my expectation. Realism is key to longevity in this industry, and more than that: gratitude.

So on that note: thanks for reading, thanks for sharing, and thanks for being the reason I keep writing.


***Note: I need to also mention that, once it was clear my own self-promotion was starting to pick up momentum, Tor really stepped in and helped me. This was not a solo journey, and it NEVER is. I had/have an amazing team, and we’ve forged a real partnership while getting the Witchlands into readers’ hands.

  ‘start an argument’ starters

  • what in the world is this!?
  • i thought i was clear!
  • this is why we can’t have nice things!
  • do you understand the damage you’ve done here!?
  • there’s no coming back from this, ever!
  • get away from me!
  • i can’t believe you would do this to me!
  • i’m not talking about this ANY more.
  • i can’t believe you lied to me… again!
  • no! just leave me alone!
  • i’ve never been more angry at you in my entire life!
  • did you seriously think this would be okay?
  • forget it!
  • i can’t even look at you right now!
  • i think you should go.
  • i can’t believe you’d do this to me…
  • you were flirting with them!
  • was it worth it?
  • i can’t do this anymore!
  • you need to pull yourself together.
  • i don’t believe you.
  • how am i supposed to trust you now?
My parents are the best fucking parents I have ever known. My dad is great. I wish I was a fucking sociopath so I didn’t have any remorse, but I do. This is going to tear them apart. They will never forget it. There is nothing you guys could have done to prevent any of this. There is nothing that anyone could have done to prevent this. No one is to blame except me and Vodka. Our actions are a two man war against everyone else.
—  Eric Harris, The Basement Tapes
An open letter

Dear @the100writers, @kimshum, @aaronginsburg, and the rest of you,

I know what you’re thinking. “It’s been a year, most of them are probably over it by now, this is their final hurrah before they go on to other things.”

While I’m sure that’s true of some of us, however, I can assure you that the majority of us will never forget what you did. We will never forget what you took from us. And we will NEVER, ever forgive.

Our Heda tried to institute Jus drein nou jus daun, but that ended when you took her life. Shot her for no other reason than loving who she loved. In doing so you reminded us that as LGBTQ people, her life - and ours - meant nothing to you. Just like Lexa, we were nothing more than a vehicle for attracting viewers for your “groundbreaking storytelling.”

So thank you. Thank you for reminding us that we have so much more work to do. Thank you for reminding us that just like the Commander, our fight is never over.

Ste yuj, Clexakru. Our fight is just beginning.

Jus drein, jus daun.

anonymous asked:

Yeah I really just laugh at when people compare Aang temporarily losing Appa to Katara's mother being murdered and her experiencing it and living through it, you explained it best in your previous meta, and what shocks me even more is that people don't see the connection in Zuko and Katara both losing their mothers, like yeah Zuko's mom was alive in the end but Zuko didn't know that did he? His mom was probably dead for all he knew, and that's one of many things Zuko and Katara have in common.

You’re right, I guess Zuko and Katara do have a thing or two in common …

Katara: The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

Zuko: I’m sorry. That’s something we have in common.

Iroh: Please, sit. Why don’t you enjoy a cup of calming jasmine tea?
Zuko: I don’t need any calming tea!

Aang: Okay, okay, you both need to calm down.
Katara Both?  I’m completely calm!

Katara: I know it’s meant to be this way. The world needs you now. You give people hope.

Iroh: Things will never return to normal. But the important thing is, the Avatar gives Zuko hope.

Zuko: Not that you would understand. You’re like my sister. Everything always…came easy to her. She’s a firebending prodigy – and everyone adores her.

Katara: Will you PLEASE shut your air hole! Believe it or not, your infinite wisdom gets a little old sometimes. Why don’t we just throw the scroll away since you’re so naturally gifted!

Zuko: You can’t sacrifice an entire division like that! Those soldiers love and defend our nation! How can you betray them? 

Katara: No. I will never, ever turn my back on people who need me!

Aang: I… I was just showing Katara a few moves. 
Master Pakku:
You have disrespected me, my teachings, and my entire culture.

Zuko: I won’t fight you. 
Fire Lord Ozai: You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher. 

Zuko: You rise with the moon.

Zuko: I rise with the sun.

Iroh: Prince Zuko, have you forgotten what happened last time you dueled a master?
Zuko: I will never forget. 

Sokka: Are you crazy, Katara? You’re not gonna win this fight!

Katara: I know! I don’t care!

Katara: Why don’t you try blocking my chi now circus freak!!

Zuko: ‘I’m so pretty, look at me. I can walk on my hands, whoo!’ Circus freak!

Zuko: She’s not my girlfriend!

Katara: I’m not his girlfriend!

Katara: Here’s your chance, earthbenders! Take it! Your fate is in your own hands!

Zuko: A hundred years of fighting has left the world scarred and divided. But with the Avatar’s help, we can get it back on the  right path, and begin a new era of love and peace.

Maybe.

Death of a Bachelor starters

VICTORIOUS.

‘ tonight we are victorious. ’
‘ all my friends were glorious. ’
‘ let me be your killer king. ’
‘ it hurts until it stops. ’
‘ my touch is black and poisonous. ’
‘ I know you need it. do you feel it ? ’
‘ drink the water, drink the wine. ’
‘ we gotta turn up the crazy. ’
‘ I’m like a scarf trick, it’s all up the sleeve. ’
‘ I taste like magic. ’
‘ Throw the bait, catch the shark, bleed the water red. ’
‘ 50 words for murder and I’m every one of them. ’

DON’T THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME.

‘ it’s a hell of a feeling, though. ’
‘ who are these people ? ’
‘ I just woke up in my underwear. ’
‘ I should probably introduce myself. ’
‘ there’s no such thing as getting out of hand. ’
‘ memories tend to just pop up. ’
‘ don’t think I’ll ever get enough. ’
‘ champagne, cocaine, gasoline– and most things in between. ’
‘ I roam the city in a shopping cart. ’
‘ this night is heating up. ’
‘ raise hell and turn it up. ’
‘ If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe. ’
‘ don’t threaten me with a good time. ’
‘ what are these footprints? they don’t look very human-like. ’
‘ Now I wish that I could find my clothes. ’
‘ I wanna wake up, can’t even tell if this is a dream. ’
‘ how did we end up in my neighbor’s pool ? ’

HALLELUJAH.

‘ A moment you’ll never remember, and a night you’ll never forget. ’
‘ Show praise with your body. ’
‘ Say your prayers. ’
‘ My life started the day I got caught. ’
‘ the time for being sad is  over. ’
‘ you miss them like you miss no other. ’
‘ being blue is better than being over it. ’
‘ I was drunk and it didn’t mean a thing. ’
‘ I love the things you hate about yourself. ’
‘ just finished a daydream. ’
‘ no one wants you when you have no heart. ’
‘ I’m sitting pretty in my brand new scars. ’
‘ You’ll never know if you don’t ever try again, so let’s try. ’

EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES.

‘ finders keepers, losers weepers. ’
‘ welcome to the end of eras. ’
‘ dress me up and watch me die. ’
‘ if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine. ’
‘ you just might see a ghost tonight. ’
‘ And if you don’t know, now you know. ’
‘ I’m taking back the crown. ’
‘ I’m all dressed up and naked. ’
‘ I see what’s mine and take it. ’
‘ so close, I can taste it. ’
‘ I’m so much more than royal. ’
‘ Heroes always get remembered, but you know legends never die. ’
‘ welcome to my world of fun. ’

DEATH OF A BACHELOR.

‘ do I look lonely ? ’
‘ people have told me I don’t look the same. ’
‘ maybe I lost weight. ’
‘ I’m playing hooky with the best of the best. ’
‘ I’m walking the long road, watching the sky fall. ’
‘ how could I ask for more ? ’
‘ a lifetime of laughter and the expense of the death of a bachelor. ’
‘ it feels like my heart is going to burst. ’
‘ and when you think of me am I the best you’ve ever had ? ’
‘ share one more drink with me, smile even though you’re sad. ’

CRAZY=GENIUS.

‘ you can set yourself on fire. ’
‘ you dance on a tightrope of weird. ’
‘ but when I wake up you’re so normal that you just disappear. ’
‘ there’s no residue of a torturer inside of your eyes. ’
‘ then I’m a fucking arsonist. ’
‘ I’m a rocket scientist. ’
‘ you can set yourself on fire, but you’re never gonna burn. ’
‘ you’re never gonna learn. ’
‘ Darlin’, you know how the wine plays tricks on my tongue. ’
‘ other boys you may have dated serrated your heart with a slice. ’
‘ the cut of your love never hurts. ’

LA DEVOTEE.

‘ you got two black eyes from loving too hard. ’
‘ I wouldn’t change you. ’
‘ I wouldn’t ever try to make you leave. ’
‘ just another LA devotee. ’
‘ I couldn’t change you. ’
‘ I couldn’t ever make you see. ’

GOLDEN DAYS.

‘ I found a pile of Polaroids in the crates of a record shop. ’
‘ boy, he was something debonair in 1979. ’
‘ and she had Farrah Fawcett hair. ’
‘ don’t you wonder when the light begins to fade ? ’
‘ all the memories that we make will never change. ’
‘ time can never break your heart, but it’ll take the pain away. ’
‘ Right now our future’s certain. ’
‘ I won’t let it fade away. ’

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE DIRTY.

‘ truth is that it was always going to end. ’
‘ if you wanna start a fight, you better throw the first punch. make it a good one. ’
‘ And if you wanna make it through the night, you better say my name like the good, the bad and the dirty. ’
‘ I know what it’s like to have to trade the ones that you love for the ones you hate. ’
‘ don’t think I’ve ever used a day of my education. ’
‘ there’s only two ways that these things can go. ’
‘ how was I to know that all your friends won’t hold any grudges ? ’
‘ I got the final judgement. ’
‘ you’ve been gone so long, I forgot what you feel like. ’
‘ but I’m not gonna think about that right now. ’
‘ all our friends want us to fall in love. ’

HOUSE OF MEMORIES.

‘ the lonely moments just get lonelier, the longer you’re in love. ’
‘ I don’t want to be afraid. ’
‘ baby, we built this house on memories. ’
‘ promise me a place in your house of memories. ’
‘ I think of you from time to time, more than I thought I would. ’
‘ you were just too kind. ’
‘ I was too young to know. ’
‘ that’s all that really matters. ’
‘ I was a fool. ’
‘ those thoughts of past lovers, they’ll always haunt me. ’
‘ I wish I could believe you’d never wrong me. ’
‘ will you remember me in the same way as I remember you ? ’

IMPOSSIBLE YEAR.

‘ there’s no sunshine. ’
‘ all the guests at the party, they’re so insincere. ’
‘ these nightmares always hang on past the dream. ’

I’ve always been good at overthinking.
The machinery in my head is constantly turning and when I try to shut it off, the hot iron material burns my hands. So I let things continue and the sounds become louder. The same words repeat over and over again: ERROR, ERROR, ERROR. There is an error in my system and the hardware is malfunctioning, but I can’t stop. I can’t stop thinking and the oil from the machines is leaking. Soon enough, it will set fire to my head.

I’ve always been good at hiding.
Even my mother can’t find me sometimes. She’ll search for me in every room of our house, not realizing that I’m following in her shadow. I feel sorry for her, but she’s the one who taught me how to blend in. How to mold my edges and become someone else. How to be the perfect daughter, the one all her peers praise, but deep down don’t care about.

I’ve always been good at miscommunication.
My father doesn’t talk much, but sometimes I get the feeling that he’s speaking to me without words. His eyes always flicker so bright and the furrow that forms between his eyebrows is prominent. When he meets my gaze and his lips curl, I try not to flinch. It’s a smile you will never understand the meaning of. I learned from him best, how to make my silence feel like a thunderstorm, but he never taught me how to control it. I’ve wrecked places and left people homeless.

I’ve always been good at pretending.
My friends are the best audience any actor could ever ask for. They remember that it’s all a show and none of it is real. So when I bruise myself, the concept that I will forget and move on in an hour or so is something that is commonly understood. Nobody ever expects me to actually get hurt. Nobody ever expects a plot twist. I hope that the day I betray them, they don’t get too angry.

I’ve always been good at empathizing.  
Tell me your problems and I’ll make them my own. Tell me your imperfections and I’ll give you pieces of myself, if you want them. Tell me you’re lonely and I’ll be at your doorstep. God, I’ll crush my own heart between my palms if you asked me to. I’ll do anything to make anybody happy, even if it brings my own doom. I am a tragedy.

—  Some of us are written by Shakespeare 
how I see the signs and what I want them to know
  • (side note - View of a Virgo rising, Leo sun in the 12th, Libra moon in 2nd, mercury Cancer in 11th, venus Leo in 12th, mars Leo in 11th)
  • Aries: was once my best friend, she made literally everything in my life brighter and always helped me to just enjoy things and stop worrying all the time. Also great hugs. Just simply has that energy, wherever it may be - physically, mentally, staying up until you binge watched that show, giving you their last money so you can get yourself something to eat before you starve to death, always down for a talk and a walk even if they had a packed schedule. Please don't miss out on times when you just have to take a day off to get your beautiful and strong energy back. I care about your health so please don't forget to eat properly and don't miss out on that quality time if needed.
  • Taurus: a girl from my drama class and my little sisters moon sign, I am just so in love with your sense for aesthetic. Total sunshines. I feel like I can always rely on you, super compassionate and knows how to make you feel comfortable when youre not. I love that when you have a goal in your mind, you will give your everything to achieve that! Also so humble but like I want you so desperately to know how beautiful I think you are!! I enjoy your company a lot. Please don't be afraid of changes, I know that's such a mainstream thing to write for Taurus but I really do believe that maybe sometimes you need to be reminded that life can also begin at the end of your comfort zone.
  • Gemini: a guy and a girl from biology class, I am literally stunned at how much these people know. Eloquent fluffballs. I could listen to you spreading knowledge 24/7, make great jokes in my opinion and just kind of knows... everyone?? Get along with so many people, can be very chill but also full of energy when they're talking about things they are interested in. Also fun-fact kings and queens. Please remind yourself to stay loyal to your true friends, you may know many people with whom you get along with so well and for sure everyone is intersting in their own way, but it's very possible to feel lonely in a crowd. Your closest friends will always get you out of that and help you, I promise.
  • Cancer: a close friend of mine, literally the most caring person I've ever met. Actual comedians. I don't know I just straight up fell in love with your humour. All the Cancers I know have or had some extreme physical problems going on, please get well soon if you read this and you're also not feeling well. Mentally on the next level, strong and kind of unbreakable. Don't hide their feelings because they just know that when you bottle up your feelings it's never going to end well. They just get you and will be there for you no matter what. Please take care of yourself just as well as you do with your friends and family, you are a true blessing and it's definitely okay to rant or cry or just let it all out.
  • Leo: my english teacher and a guy I used to be close with, very often completely misunderstood and taken for granted, which can lead to unhealthy behaviour. Will make you feel great after a plain shit day. I strive to be this talented at just expressing myself or being confident, even if you just want the world to think you are confident when you're actually not. Cuddly queens and kings. Better not hurt their pride because it took them a lot of time to actually get to that level and in a world where people hate on you for loving yourself, to them it feels like, despite all their work, they are not worth of loving themselves. Please don't forget that although sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see, there are caring and warm-hearted people who love you just the way you are.
  • Virgo: a girl in my class I simply adore, I always annoy you with my endless compliments. Kind of just in love with these down-to-earth and sweet people. Either super chill or worried a lot, I wish I could just hug you until you feel less stressed. Smol but strong beans you can learn a lot from. So reliable, I actually hate doing group projects and always want to do everything myself but since you share that opinion we created something I was really proud of and now we always do them together. Please remember that passion is something you shouldn't be ashamed of, you simply don't have to be because it's something you love and your needs are valid. Also dreaming big, it's possible, especially for you so why not?
  • Libra: a girl I recently got to know and am already completely amazed by, literal social butterflies who sometimes only know in hindsight how much they enjoyed the company of someone because they adapt so easily and it's rare to find someone where you can just simply be yourself. Love how they view life and that they make me want to talk more. Very open and you never feel excluded because they just know how to include everyone. Please don't forget to remind yourself who you truly are and not to lose yourself in another person, because there really is only one you no matter how good you are at adapting to literally every social situation, you are amazing and I want you to be comfortable as well.
  • Scorpio: my dad and my ex boyfriend's mom, two very caring peole in their own way. I always love how sharp their sarcasm can be. Can comfort extremely well when they want to. So many secrets and things to know about them that I can lose myself in them wanting to explore whats actually behind their shell. Teaches you life lessons. Please don't forget that humans aren't flawless and that's completely okay. You don't have to hold onto old grudges, communication is key and talking about these things, confronting these people who did you wrong will help you grow as a person.
  • Sagittarius: an old friend of mine, very cute people who get interested in so many things and they are so versatile and adventurous I absolutely love their lively nature. Memes™. Total dorks you can fall for in a second. Are actually the best partners to just talk to about anything because they will be interested and share their opinion with you. Please remind yourself that cutting off people can be a very wise decision and you don't have to keep up with everyones shit if that's just not what you're in for.
  • Capricorn: I am literally so attracted to these people it's unreal, although I kind of always think that they don't like me...... anyways, my bigger twin sisters are caps and they are humble souls who really had to fight for a lot in life sadly. So proud of you. Keep up with the hard work, you really deserve everything. So realistic and pure I have heart eyes. Supportive and extremely loyal. Will stand up for you if you need it. Straight face™ but still manages to make even the most serious people laugh. Please remind yourself to not overdo it with the work, take a day off to relax and let yourself go maybe, even if it's hard - with the right people you don't ever have to be afraid of being yourself.
  • Aquarius: my ex boyfriend whom I had a crush on for like 4 years, teached me great life lessons. Will always have a weakness for aquas, they just attract me so much, how much of a fluffy dork can you be tbh? Capacity of acceptance is incredible. So much fun to be with. Are kind of just good at everything? You can talk to them about anything, it won't feel weird, they won't question it and just talk to you about that topic. So friendly, an underrated trait in my opinion, just complete and simple friendliness you enjoy to the fullest. Please remind yourself to let people not only see your amazing shell but also your stunning core, there are people who love to talk about the same things you love and nothing about you is weird, you are special and I absolutely love it.
  • Pisces: a very sweet guy I've been texting with for the past months, very open minded and also have that sensitivity I strive to have. Very inspirational smol puppy. Actual daydreamers™, may be late to school but love deeply and would never neglect your love. Kind of hate almost everything that's planned out? (I'm sorry I just love to plan things out) will hug you no matter what. Does not fear to dream big, is very talented at artsy stuff in my opinion. Please don't forget that even if it seems hard, and yes our school system is kind of very bad,we get to have that education and your dreams will be reality if you work hard enough to achieve them. You have so much potential, please don't ever waste it.
"Asexuals don't face discrimination"

While I’ve had to hear in my life :

“One day you’ll want sex”
“I could never love you”
“I can’t ever be with someone who wouldn’t want sex”
“I need someone who can reciprocate properly”
“I want children, this won’t work”
“It’s unreal to not have sexual feelings”
“Sex is a natural part of a relationship”

And let’s not forget those pictures that are constantly reminding you that if you’re not having sex with your partner you: don’t love them, cheat on them, don’t deserve them, are a liar, aren’t worthy of a relationship.

Guess Again [Shance ficlet]

[I’ve really fallen in love with this pairing and wanted to write a little something for them. Please hmu if you’re a Shance shipper too, I need to follow more folks!]

Summary: Keith confronts Lance about something he witnessed during a team mind-melding exercise…too bad he’s got the wrong culprit.

Keith had tried to just forget about it. He really had.

When no one else had seemed the least bit disturbed when they came out of the mind-meld earlier, he’d quickly decided it was best just to keep it to himself and never speak of what he’d witnessed to anyone ever. That way it was kind of like he’d never seen it all, right?

Except he couldn’t get the images out of his head. Two hours since they’d all gone their separate ways and Lance’s fantasy was still clear as day in his mind.

It wasn’t like it’d even been something particularly graphic or unusual. It hadn’t involved whips or chains or any of the other kinky shit he assumed polluted Lance’s brain. It’d merely been Lance cuddling with the object of his affection, blushing and giggling between the chaste kisses they exchanged. Honestly, Keith might have found it kind of cute if it had involved Allura or one of the many pretty alien girls Lance had tried to woo during their journey…

But the person wrapped around Lance in his fantasy wasn’t some random girl. Hell, it wasn’t even some random boy. It was freaking Shiro.

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