i will never be over javert

Les Mis jokes that will never not be funny to me
  • anything about the Parisian Sewer System Chapters™
  • Calling the book “The Brick”
  • “Valjean is 24601% done”
  • Any speculation on Les Amis’s first names
  • especially “tHEY WERE ALL NAMED JEAN”
  • Threatening to fight Victor Hugo’s ghost (usu. over Les Amis’s first names)
  • LES AMIS AS *insert something bizarre like garden gnomes*
  • Calling Victor Hugo “Vicky H”, “kink-shame deserving Vicky,” etc
  • AND I’M JAVERT 
  • That Les Miserables/Bee Movie crossover fanfic called Les Beeserables starring Barry B. Jolras 
  • bread memes
  • “Grantaire is canonically ugly” haha sure yeah right
  • “We never learn Javert’s first name”  “Yeah we do it’s Inspector”
  • EnjolrasXPatria fanfic 
  • Any post along the lines of “You idiots have forgotten Les Amis aren’t the main characters of Les Mis. The REAL main character is the Parisian Sewer System”

    Feel free to add more

for a tragedy, les miserables is too fucking funny. i mean this is where ive gotten to so far

  • that time jvj was sent back to prison for steal the equivalent of $5 from a child
  • anytime a charitable strong man shows up and vicky hugo pretends it could be some other than jvj
  • when jvj went to tell the court that he was man who broke parole and everything on the trip went wrong, but he still showed up just in time to get a life sentence in prison
  • jvj faking his death, finding a kid in the woods and saying, well this kid is probably the one i need
  • jvj going to dig up his woods money and someone recognizing it and not saying anything
  • when fauchelevent took in jvj, his logic was, this guy is looking real shady and he’s probably a murder but he saved my life so its probably cool
  • that weird nun that slept in a coffin
  • fauchelevent almost burying jvj alive
  • marius trying to be a baron and a lawyer, apparently you can’t
  • also marius buying flowers and weeping over the grave of his father, a man he never met
  • really any part with marius
  • especially when javert gave him a gun

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good ExR/Les Amis afterlife reunion as much as anyone, but, think of all the other afterlife possibilties

-Valjean meeting Felix Tholomyes and punching him in the face
-Fantine meeting the Thenardiers and punching them in the face
-Eponine and Gavroche waiting for the rest of their siblings, and finally having the childhood they never got
-Fantine and Cosette. Just…Fantine and Cosette
-Georges Pontmercy watching over Marius
-And being reunited with his old friend Mabeuf, who tells him all about how his son is doing now
-Feuilly meeting his (proud) parents
-Valjean’s long-dead family welcoming Cosette as a cousin
-Anyone meeting Javert

I know it’s been said before, but

I will never be over this dramatic situation. Could I call it irony? Anyway, it smarts a bit in the “favorite character” part of my heart.

Musical! Javert more or less starts the show urging our protagonist (and by extension the audience), “do not forget me” and introduces/ declares himself so many times it’s a well-trodden fandom joke. He builds up his ego and sense of purpose with grand claims of “mine is the way of the Lord” and “I am the Law”. He presents himself with this persona of the ultimate functionary. His name is synonymous with Order, and Justice, without which the world would fall apart.


And then, he dies.


And nobody ever mentions him again.


On one level, it shows that even the most successful functionary is still just a functionary. The part is replaced, the machine survives, and it’s both tragic and ignominious.


But on the other hand, it suggests that in some way, Javert needed to create that dramatic self and talk himself up the way he did because his identity was all he had to hold on to. His personal identity and his public persona were pretty well conflated, and that’s an issue. But at the same time: if he did not make himself important, who would? He is proud, he is assertive, he is alone.


Ultimately, for all that his behaviour in the Prologue is genuinely pompous and self-aggrandizing (heck, for all that he is a smartly dressed empathy-challenged disaster, a volatile element profoundly lacking in self-awareness, an incomplete Jenga tower of a person) it’s horribly sad how he starts the show demanding to be remembered, and then disappears without anyone seeming to spare him a thought.

jehnt a réagi à votre billet “for reference: other options for Bahorel in The Worst Les Mis…”

Now I think the actual worst les mis playlist would be les mis characters as songs from les mis they didn’t sing in

h-holy crap … you’re right

Valjean - I Dreamed a Dream (I had a dream my life would be / so different from this hell I’m living / so different now from what it seemed / now life has killed the dream I dreamed)

Javert - A Heart Full of Love (in my life / [he] has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun / and my life seems to stop as if something is over / and something has scarcely begun / in my life / there’s been no one like him anywhere)

Fantine - Valjean’s Soliloquy (if there’s another way to go / I missed it twenty long years ago / my life was a war that could never be won / I am reaching, but I fall / and the night is closing in)

Cosette - Red and Black (it is time for us all to decide who we are / do we fight for the right to a night at the opera now? / have you asked of yourselves what’s the price you might pay? / is this simply a game for a rich young boy to play? / the colours of the world are changing day by day)

Marius (about his father)  - On My Own (sometimes I walk alone at night / when everybody else is sleeping / I think of him and then I’m happy / with the company I’m keeping / the city goes to bed / and I can live inside my head)

Enjolras - Stars (those who follow the path of the righteous / shall have their reward /  stars in your multitudes, scarce to be counted / filling the darkness with order and light / you are the sentinels, silent and sure / keeping watch in the night)

Grantaire - At the End of the Day (at the end of the day you’re another day older / and that’s all you can say for the life of the poor / it’s a struggle, it’s a war / and there’s nothing that anyone’s giving / one more day standing about, what is it for? / one day less to be living)

Les Thenardier - The Confrontation (you know nothing of [Thenardier] / I was born inside a jail / I was born with scum like you / I am from the gutter too)

Eponine - Castle on a Cloud (there is a castle on a cloud / I like to go there in my sleep, / aren’t any floors for me to sweep / not in my castle on a cloud)

Mlle. Gillenormand (about M. Gillenormand) - Master of the House (Master of the house? Isn’t worth my spit! / comforter, philosopher’ and lifelong shit! / cunning little brain, regular Voltaire / thinks he’s quite a lover but there’s not much there / what a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse / God knows how I’ve lasted living with this bastard in the house!)

Gavroche - Epilogue (for the wretched of the earth / there is a flame that never dies / even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise)


BONUS:

Bahorel - Look Down (I know the meaning of those 19 years / a slave of the law)

miserable mill rewatch notes:

- when jacquelyn’s character in the hypnotists movie “suddenly knows how to play the violin” she doesn’t actually play any notes she just mashes the bow across the strings it’s hilarious

- i love the really bleak signs around the lumbermill like “safety goggles will only slow you down”

- charles continues to be a sweet and precious if doormattish guy who deserves better than sir. i really hope he survives the hotel denouement fire

- idk if we’re ever going to meet or see a picture of bertrand but i headcanon him as a blond guy with glasses because dr. orwell alludes to him being a past optometry patient and the kids say he looked like shirley when he crossdressed for a masquerade ball, plus sunny must have inherited her blonde hair from either him or beatrice

- lemony smiles for like 0.25 of a second when he’s explaining his plan to escape the motel. a momentous occasion

- aw man the unspoken realization of what must have happened when only two quagmires show up at school after the fire is so SAD :c

- violet has a really pretty singing voice!!! reblog if you too support your daughter

- mr. poe saying he hopes the baudelaires find comfort at prufrock prep is … actually kind of sweet, for him? like as horrible of a job as he does keeping them out of danger, and as little of a grasp of count olaf’s threat level as he has, he’s still a dad himself and on some shallow mr. poe level wants the kids to be happy and safe

- lemony and olaf’s friendship probably ended over tragic schism stuff but i like to think it was some really petty theater kid thing like olaf said russell crowe was an ok javert and lemony never spoke to him again

so i was thinking about how jvj and javert HAD to have banged in m sur m (like… javert has an authority kink a mile wide there’s no way he didn’t have a crush on his hot buff boss) but while javert doesn’t remember valjean, valjean most DEFINITELY remembers javert which really puts a damper on their relationship. and there are a million ways around this (which many fics have eloquently explored) but

i was thinking valjean probably… misreads some signs from javert, or just works with him long enough without him saying anything, to assume javert DOES know who he is and is just choosing not to turn him in. so jvj thinks they’re cool! he thinks they’re in a “i know that you know that i know” situation so he trusts him and thus…. is not afraid to have some kind of relationship with him.

but then i realized how much worse that makes it when javert does turn him in. valjean thought he was fine! home free! careful, in case other cops came sniffing around, but javert had his back so he’s good to go!! but then. javert brings up 24601. and at first valjean just thinks “oh so we’re finally broaching this subject” and javert says he thought he was this con, but he found someone else instead and jvj has this sinking feeling but he’s so sure javert is on his side he at least half believes javert set someone else up to take the fall for him so that he doesn’t have to worry anymore? and he’s about to tell him not to do this for him when javert resigns for these sins and he realizes.

he never knew.

and this makes it all so much worse! there’s the panic, of having trusted and been intimate with the man that was such a threat to him, and the fear of going back to prison, and above all a feeling of betrayal–except javert didn’t betray him at all, only the version of javert he thought he knew but only ever existed in his head. and then of course, on top of all of that, his identity crisis and struggling over what to do about this man condemned in his stead.

tl;dr i tried to have some fun nice sexytimes hcs and instead i made myself sad but then that’s basically valvert in a nutshell?

Pirate, Legend, Monster, Man

Note: This is just a small contribution for Les Mis Across History, set in Pirate AU verse. Enjolras, Bahorel, and Prouvaire meet Blackbeard for the first time. Featuring a small appearance by Courfeyrac.

The crowd in the tavern roars when the door opens, the sound echoing outside into the night.

“Say what’s going on?” Bahorel asks, searching through the crowd, eyes narrowed in curiosity. “Why are they cheering?”

“That Teach fellow came in,” Enjolras says, the view better from his standing position. People are clapping Teach on the back as he approaches the bar, his mentor Benjamin Hornigold following behind him with another man. Stede Bonnet, Enjolras thinks he’s called, but he’s new around Nassau.

“That Teach fellow,” Bahorel says, aghast at Enjolras’ casual tone. “Show some respect, Enjolras, that man’s a legend. Quickly becoming one, anyway. Blackbeard, the papers are calling him.”

“Sounds like you’ve taken a fancy to him, Bahorel,” Prouvaire says, smirking as he takes a sip of his mead. “Want to set your beard on fire as well?”

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@fidelesir replied to your photo

¾ of my Holy Quadrangle. Bless you. Though I will say I have never pictured Javert in a tank top. He’s probably got okay arms for it. skinny but strong.

Valjean and Fantine sure think so :3

You know, I’m surprised Hadley Fraser was never brought over to Broadway for the 2014 Les Mis revival as Javert opposite Ramin Karimloo as Valjean. They even could have brought in Sierra Boggess as Fantine too and taken that opportunity that was missed in London 2012/2013. Reuniting the three of them probably would have kept the revival open longer.

sleepyminyard  asked:

noah+ronan for the headcanon thing please?? ? :)

[strums guitar] [screAMS AT YOU FOR TWELVE HOURS]

  • When Noah has nothing better to do he’ll make makeshift costumes out of stuff he finds and parade around Monmouth. One particularly bad/sleepless night, Noah walked around Ronan’s room impersonating George Washington (wearing a hideous curly white wig he made and sticking his nose in the air and shouting FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO) and Ronan almost fell off the bed laugHING
  • Noah really REALLY misses his sisters, sometimes he’ll tell Ronan stories about them (how he used to drive them to dance and swimming in his red mustang, or make crafts with them out of glitter) and it’s Ronan who returns the Mustang to the youngest, who gets it to run again and drives it to school every day, Blink 182 sticker and all. Noah almost cries when Ronan tells him (i have so many Czerny fam feels its actually ridiculous)
  • Honestly Noah would want to do all this ridiculous sleepover stuff like play truth-or-dare and paint each other’s fingernails and do makeup. And Ronan would always huff and complain that they were acting like twelve-year-old girls but he’d always do it anyway (even when it took about 10 hours to get the glitter polish off his toenails)
  • Ronan makes Noah a mixtape of all the bands he loved when he was alive and plays it whenever they’re together. Imagine Ronan and Noah in the BMW with shades on listening to Blink-182, Sum 41, and Simple Plan. Literally amazing 
  • Noah tries to teach Ronan how to skateboard but he honestly cannot do it for SHIT. Like. He just keeps up this string of profanities while stumbling all over the parking lot trying to stay on and Noah just floats in the air laughing at him and turning invisible just to trip him. Blue is just cackling on the bench 
  • Noah is complete and total mUSICAL TRASH so he’ll get Gansey to buy him a script and just sit down with Ronan and get him to sing all the duets with him (Adam will never admit it but Noah as Eponine and Ronan as Marius actually made him tear up a bit. Also Ronan running around shouting I AM WARNING YOU JAVERT while Noah turns lights on and off and slams doors is pretty funny. Also Noah as Glinda and Ronan as Elphaba is pRICELESS)

“Moreover, Jean Valjean knew that he was delivered from Javert. The story had been told in his presence, and he had verified the fact in the Moniteur, how a police inspector named Javert had been found drowned under a boat belonging to some laundresses, between the Pont au Change and the Pont-Neuf, and that a writing left by this man, otherwise irreproachable and highly esteemed by his superiors, pointed to a fit of mental aberration and a suicide.—“In fact,” thought Jean Valjean, “since he left me at liberty, once having got me in his power, he must have been already mad.”

-Les Miserables, Book Four, Chapter V


Can we talk about the absolutely horrifying fact that Valjean found out about Javert’s death because he overheard some people talking about it, and how he had to actually go buy a newspaper to confirm this for himself?

Because this is making me really sad.

I’m just trying to picture Valjean’s face when he overhears this conversation, thinking “No, that can’t be right; he would never do that …” And being just filled dread.

I used to think Hugo was just being a piece of shit here and having Valjean brush Javert’s suicide off, but now I’m thinking Valjean was probably in horrified disbelief until he read it for himself in the paper, and then he got really distraught over it and had to try to find a way to rationalize what happened because the Javert he knew would never throw his life away like that. He realizes that the Javert he (thought he) knew would also never have let him go when he finally, finally had him in his grasp, so the only thing he can think is that Javert had already been under some sort of mental duress when he recaptured him.

I didn’t remember Valjean having overheard Javert’s death being talked about; I just remembered him as having read it in the newspaper, and it made me really mad because he just sort of seemed to say “Well he was crazy” and then forget about it like it meant nothing to him. But now … I don’t know, I’m not seeing him as brushing it off. I’m seeing it more as he reasons that Javert was a bit out of his mind at the time, because it makes sense with his releasing him, but it also is the only way to preserve Javert’s character (by saying “he was not himself in that moment”). Valjean just … doesn’t believe a man like Javert could do that in his right mind.

And maybe it’s a self-defense mechanism for Valjean, because if he considers that Javert maybe was in his right mind, and chose to die like that, then it follows that he, Valjean, had something to do with it, or could have helped him somehow if he’d known–only he didn’t, he couldn’t, and I don’t think he could cope with the guilt that would come from that conclusion.

So he just … rationalizes it.

Like maybe he’s even aware of his having something to do with Javert’s decision to kill himself, but he just can’t take that, and the only way for him to deal with it is to say “No, no … there must have been something else. He was not in his right mind at the time. There must have been something else.”

Because this way, if Javert wasn’t himself at the time, then what happened wasn’t Javert’s fault. Then he is still irreproachable. And then, Valjean would not be responsible for his death, but some outside factor, out of his control. If Valjean tells himself that it was a “ mental aberration”, a freak state of mind, neither he nor Javert could have done anything to prevent what happened. And I’m pretty sure that belief is the only way Valjean can come to terms with it. “It was an accident, it was out of our control; there was nothing to be done about it.” And maybe for Valjean, as a Christian, this means that Javert never really made a conscious decision to kill himself, because he didn’t have the presence of mind to do that at the time, and therefore it wouldn’t really be “suicide”, and Javert wouldn’t end up in Hell.

But even so, I can’t help but picture Valjean–even after trying to make everything sensible, logical, so that nobody was to blame–remembering Javert’s words at the barricade: “You annoy me. Kill me, rather.” –and being haunted by them.

WAIT WHAT

I have listened to the Original London Cast Recording of Les Miserables about a million times over a period of twelve years or so and yet I didn’t know that Roger Allam played the original Javert?? 

Inspector Thursday himself???

The Spy and the Priest: Javert, Enjolras, and the Absolute

So I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking lately about Enjolras, Javert and the kind of absolutes they represent, and the way they foil each other. Part of it started with the AU I’m working on, and part of it from flipping through the Donougher translation of the Brick I bought and paying more attention to the spy/priest language Hugo uses to describe them. I then had a conversation with @pilferingapples about their differing forms of Absolutism, with Javert ultimately being driven by fear and Enjolras being driven by love and I thought HEY I should write about this! So this is a bit of an exploration of that. I’ve seen a few posts in the past making the point that Enjolras and Javert are similar in that they are both Absolute, but it never sat quite right in my head because of the extremely different places and emotions that their Absolutes stem from, because I think that nuance matters A LOT. They aren’t simply two Absolute men on different sides of politics. They are Fear vs. Love and Spy vs. Priest. Valjean is obviously a foil for Javert, but I’d argue that Enjolras is too, it’s just more subtle. 

I was reading over this passage on Javert when the lightbulb about these two went off: “Since reaching manhood and becoming a servant of the state, he had made of the police more or less his entire religion, being-and we are using the words here without the least irony and in the most serious sense-being , as we have said, a spy as other men are priests.” 

I thought to myself YES, here is the crux of the struggle I’ve always had with the Enjolras and Javert as Absolutes discussion because they are VERY different kinds of Absolutes. Plus, Hugo scarcely ever does anything not on purpose, and I couldn’t help but pick up on the priest language in this passage as a call back to Enjolras. Because while yes, Hugo mentions that Enjolras can often seem distant from the goings on in every day life, he’s that way probably because he loves so much that he’s always looking off into the future, so focused on “overthrowing the obstacle” and making things better. Javert, on the other hand, fears his own background so much, perhaps fears what he might become if he even gives into his humanity the slightest inch, that he stands on the fringes of society, looking in on it instead of participating. 

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consider: les mis parks and rec au 

  • courfeyrac starts rent-a-swag
  • montparnasse: “I made my money the old fashioned way…..I got run over by a lexussssssss….”
  • courf: “marius you beautiful land mermaid”
  • marius: “you had a crush on me? embarrassing!” 
    cosette: “babe, we’re married.”
    marius: “still!”
  • bousset is gerry
  • enjolras on top of the barricade “google earth. always taking pics.”
  • the javert pyramid of greatness
  • “MARIUS PONTMERCY NEVER WORKED A DAY IN HIS LIIIIFE.”
  • picture javert giving a child a landmine. this makes me so happy.

no but mod au trans girl javert being really incredibly careful about her presentation and trying really really hard to “pass” but it doesn’t work and she is really frustrated and upset by it and she’s just angry all the time and just gets super growly every time some asshole cis boy harrasses her

and she wants to be a cop or a lawyer so she’s doing all of this research and she’s careful about playing the games of respectability politics and she’s fucking seventeen years old and just trying to be like other girls and she picks the name ‘michelle’ because saint michael the archangel is the patron saint of cops

and that first summer she wears sundresses and makeup and her hair is starting to grow out and nobody takes her seriously because she’s tall and broad-shouldered and her voice dropped when she was younger

but she meets jean valjean, who is a senior boy from the “wrong side” of town and he doesn’t treat her any different than he would any other girl (one of his nieces is also a trans girl) but she’s still fiercely suspicious of him because she knows he’s done time in juvie and he would be dangerous to her future career and she can’t afford to have distractions like him but she really isn’t doing well emotionally without having friends or anyone to really talk to

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Actual Friendly Les Mis Reminder:

(or perhaps Not So Friendly, I honestly don’t know).

There was apparently a version of the show in which, during the Final Barricade, Javert is standing off to the side. Valjean walks over to him and offers him a hand. Javert accepts and Valjean pulls him up to the barricade so they can finish the Finale together. 

helen-mcfly  asked:

I'm seeing you at your last Les Mis show Feb 13th. I've seen the show 4 times before and I've noticed that after Little Fall Of Rain, no one claps because the storyline moves on quickly. I love that song and that nights going to be yours and Rob's last time singing it, and I'm guessing people (myself included) will want to applaud you both, would it be rude to as it'll go over the other cast members continuing the show? Thank you, Helen. X

I actually love that no one ever claps after Little Fall of Rain! It’s such a delicate scene. I remember Tam Mutu (my first Javert) saying to me once how he never felt like he’d done a good enough job at creating a “moment” when the audience applauded after his death because usually when a “moment” is created, no one wants to break it by being the first to applaud so everyone just stays still and silent, sort of out of respect for the character that has just died. Since that conversation, I always feel like me and Rob have done well at creating a moment when no one applauds because no one wants to break such a delicate atmosphere! There have been a handful of times when people have applauded and it’s always felt really odd that the audience applauding Eponine’d death! We call it the “Death Clap” (well…I always have!) and usually when an audience has applauded Eponine dying, that same audience will also applaud Gavroche dying, the students dying AND Javert dying! It only happens once in a blue moon and always makes us chuckle backstage! 

Of course, anyone can applaud wherever they feel necessary but i’ve never felt like an applause has been amiss after Little Fall of Rain. It’s always been a respectful silence for the beloved character that has just lost her life at a crucial part of a beautiful story!

xxx