i will never be okay again i think

DAY 2  SHEITH POSITIVITY WEEK: SUN/ STARS

“ you’ll be the moon

i’ll be the earth

and when we burst

start over oh darling

Begin Again Begin Again “

yes. okay i actually did some good art and i must say im proud. i love it. i had this idea in mah head mkay. and i thought that it wouldnt turn out good because i was sketching it and im like shit. this is not gonna work. but mah gawd. 

I’ve always drew ridiculously detailed armor and I i think i never post any of my designs o.o. ( i draw…alot and dont post shit lol !) and they look sooo snaaaazzy ~! altough its not much of a cute drawing.

go listen to this song >>; this song inspired me to draw this .3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wo9BKChNGY

hup please accept this even though im late TT^TT 

EDIT: I CANT SPELL FOR SHIT. 

@sheithpositivityweek

She Who Hushed Thunder

Sometimes
I search for you
via names, places– past identities

seeking restitution
or maybe some kind of closure,
the kind you kept selfish,

and I used to say, That’s okay,
but in truth, I still kick your bones
and hunt your ghost.

In truth, I say to hold myself accountable
unlike you, you who crept in
cut my braids, crept out–

and when I demanded fair
you struck me down without mercy
leaving pieces in your ire,

pieces to fit together
to repair the shell, the wall,
another me never obtainable.

I don’t want that I again,
or that you who would cause hurt
and I think I look still

so I can feel pain beneath my breast,
reminded of poison still lingering
from your viper strike–

because you ruined me.
Crushed me better than all,
shipwrecked on foot– pieced anew

by afterthoughts filled with thunder.

Sometimes when Kara is exhausted she sleep flies. It’s so rare that she doesn’t even think much about it until she has a particularly trying month that just pushes her to her absolute limit, like she falls into bed in her supergirl outfit covered in soot and just conks out. She doesn’t wake up for a good 11 hours, and when she does wake up its to find she’s in a different bed. A much nicer bed, based on the silkiness of the sheets she’s getting filth all over, and she sheepishly makes her way out when she hears soft humming from the kitchen, and there standing over a skillet is Lena Luthor. She didn’t even know where Lena lived, let alone how to find her and climb into bed with her. Sleep-Kara must have just heard her heartbeat and followed it.

“Good morning, Supergirl,” Lena says with a smile. “You were a surprising thing to wake up to.”

“I am so sorry, Miss Luthor. I don’t even know how I got here.”

“Lena, please. When you wake up in bed with another woman wrapped around you I think it best to be on a first name basis.”

“Lena,” Supergirl says sheepishly, her face red, “I’m really sorry about your sheets. I’ll replace them for you, if you want.” Lena waves it off.

“I’m fairly confident I make more money than the government pays you, Supergirl. Don’t even worry about it.”

“Okay. Well! I promise you, this will never happen again!”

It happens every night for the next week. Even when the exhaustion starts to fade, Kara still falls asleep in her apartment and wakes up wrapped around Lena Luthor. Her subconscious is betraying her, and these morning afters are getting increasingly more confusing. Especially when Kara has a dream she’s eating the best tasting ice cream she’s ever had only to wake up realizing she might be mouthing at a very awake, clinging, heart-racing Lena.

i think i fell in love with you long before i realized
but come to think of it
how could i not?
after all of the late night conversations
and the times you were my shoulder to cry on
  after the hugs that felt like home
  and all of the times you were my hand to hold
  after the “good morning” and “good night” messages
  and all of the phone calls you made just to make sure i was okay
  after all of the times you made me laugh when it felt like i would never smile again
  and all of moments and memories we can never tell a soul
  maybe i didn’t even really fall for you
  i think i just woke up one day
  and i knew
  that you were the one who i wanted by my side
  through thick and thin
  for better or for worse
  it’s always been you
  and i hope it always will be you
—  Anonymous said: Can you write something about falling in love with your best friend?
(cc, 2017)
I know you’re in pain. It hurts in ways you can’t even begin to describe and even if you could, no one seems to want to listen. Sure, people care and try to help… for a time… but when you don’t seem to be getting any better, after a while, they get tired of listening… Eventually it becomes easier to keep it all inside.
I know you feel like it will never get better and you’ll never be okay again. It’s been like this for so long now that you think if things were ever going to change they would have by now so this is how it’s always going to be… but it’s not. I promise it’s not. You learn cope, it just takes time and I know it feels like you’ve given it enough time already but not everyone heals at the same pace.
Tell yourself it’s okay to feel the way that you do. Nobody else on this earth has lived through your life to be in any kind of position to understand your battles. Nobody else but you has walked in your shoes to be any kind of comparison on how you should be feeling right now or whether or not you should be ‘better’. I won’t lie to you – what you’re going through will always leave its mark upon you as any trauma does – and that’s normal too. Nobody looks back on a traumatic life experience and giggles about it… But it’s this all-consuming depressive state… these overwhelming feelings you can’t control… the way those feelings isolate you and make you feel vulnerable and alone – THAT is what won’t last forever.
It DOES get better… you DO find acceptance. Not all at once – its gradual… like a stormy day or a long dark night… you don’t just blink and suddenly it’s a blue sky. Storm clouds part slowly, allowing brief flashes of sunlight at first… then eventually disappear… Dark nights end slowly as a new day begins to dawn… Acceptance is the same… and I know you have the courage to wait for it…

anonymous asked:

Can I get some Pidge and Coran headcanons

Coming at you with that NICHE MARKET

  • Coran will never admit it but he’s like 70% sure Pidge is actually eight-years-old (or the equivalent in Altean years). He thinks Pidge is like, a super-accomplished baby.
    • Lance: Okay but like… He’s not wrong lmfao (dodges a wrench) Hey! Coran, Pidge is throwing a tantrum again!!!!!
    • Coran: Oh dear, looks like Pidge is overdue for a nap :( (dodges a screwdriver)
    • Pidge: I hate this fucking family!!!!! >8C
  • Pidge offhandedly mentions during dinner that she’s trying to learn Altean and Coran is like (slams down spork) I WILL BE YOUR TUTOR. He gets very into it. He even codes up a space version of kahoot. He also baby proofs the Castle’s version of Killer Rosetta Stone®
  • Coran: Oh, hello Pidge! I’ve been looking all over for y-
    Pidge: (bolts)
    Coran: (immediately gives chase) YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE OF US THAT CAN FIT IN THE VENTS, PIDGE!!
    Pidge: I’M NOT CLEANING THE FREAKING VENTS AGAIN, GO AWAY CORAN.
    • Pidge: Why do the vents even need to be clean, I hate this family so much
    • Lance: I’ll trade med bay duty with you for a day if you want
    • Pidge: Deal.
  • Coran brings Pidge along every time he goes hunting for ship parts because Pidge can cry on command. It’s a very effective tactic for speeding up negotiations.
  • Pidge: (downs a cup of nutritional goo like a shot)
    Shiro: What are you doing?
    Pidge: (slams cup down) Coran keeps calling me ‘Number 5′ and I am determined to prove him wrong. 
  • Pidge is honestly blown away by Coran’s brilliance?? Like, the space uncle is usually used as comedy relief, but he’s honestly so freaking smart and Pidge is like (tears in her eyes) I Would Die For You Coran.
    • Coran is equally impressed by Pidge, because she’s so small and young but so brilliant? He constantly tells her how she would’ve fit in and even shone on Altea. 
    • At first Pidge thinks he’s being patronizing, ‘oh look at how hard the Earthling tries’, but then she realizes that no. Coran honestly thinks that highly of her. He gets misty-eyed whenever he talks about how Pidge and Hunk would’ve flourished in the classrooms on Altea.
  • Coran: Okay, but are you sure you don’t have any Altean blood in you? At all? A great-great-great-great-great to the eighth degree great grandmother, perhaps?
    • Pidge: Nope. I’m from the midwest. Which probably makes me some kind of alien, but still a human one.
  • Coran tries to stealth-parent Pidge, but Pidge always manages to turn it around on him.
    • Coran tries to convince Pidge to take a break and eat. Five minutes later he’s in the kitchen making tea for them both and he has no idea how he got there.
    • Coran tries to get Pidge to take a nap. Ten minutes later he’s giving her and Hunk a crash-course lesson on how to maintain the Lions in a worst-case-scenario pinch.
    • Coran: ????
  • Pidge: (cackles as she programs the training bots to chase Lance around the training room)
    Shiro: Oh geez, don’t worry Coran I’ll stop her.
    Coran: (smiling fondly) (glances over at Allura) Ah, don’t worry Shiro. The Princess used to be just like this when she was younger, and she turned out alright!
Comfort Prompts

“I’m here, I’m not gonna leave you.”

“Don’t say that you love me more than I love you. Trust me, you are the glorious sun to me, my everything and I love you with all my heart.”

“Repeat after me; I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy…and believe it, ‘cause you are.”

“Darling, perfect is just a word. Perfection is impossible and chasing after it will lead you nowhere. Just do your best and accept that the result is good.”

“When the most broken put themselves back together, they become the most beautiful angels. It’s okay if it’s sloppy or if a crack is still left open, you’re even more ethereal to me.”

“The longest and most difficult roads in life end in the best places. Be patient and keep going.”

“So what if the world is complex and overwhelming? So what if you can’t do it all, can’t be the best? Stop focusing on your image and focus on yourself. You have these years on this earth, enjoy them, don’t overthink it. “

“I’m love with your mind, soul and body.”

“The best thing you can do in life is to love yourself and let your passion help others to love themselves too.”

“I know you may feel alone right now but just remember how big the world is. How many souls will love you for who you are. They’re out there, don’t worry. Just get through, explore and you’ll find them. Just don’t forget to find yourself.”

“Can I kiss where it hurts?”

“Hey, it’s going to be fine. We’ll get through this together, hand in hand, okay?”

“It’s all about the little things. Your favorite tea, good stories, sparkly eyes, beautiful skies, the thrill of adventure, passion, the feeling of home. Enjoy them.”

“You’re not broken. Your mind is just built differently, get to know it, have a little chat with yourself. The most complicated minds tend to be the most beautiful ones, just don’t let it use you, learn to cooperate with it.”

“Hey, beautiful, you okay?”

“You’re amazing, did you know that?”

“I think I’m going blind from your beauty.”

“Everyone’s different. Everyone’s beautiful. You’re the most beautiful human I’ve met, and I’ve met myself!”

“Breathe, darling, breathe.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that triggered you, I’ll never do it again.”

“Here, I’m going to make you some tea and we’ll watch a movie, that sound good?”

“ Magic is real. It’s not spells and cauldrons, no… it’s more subtle. Like, when the air seems electrified, when eyes speak more than words, when you sense something none of your normal senses detect. If you stop for a moment and look beyond, you’ll find it.“

“I know you don’t want to, but in the end, it’ll pay off. Just breathe, keep your head up and you’ll be fine.”

Okay but if shit went down between Mikael and Even

why is Mikael smiling when he brings Even up?

While the boys start shouting and booming with excitement, Mikael is grinning and Yousef?

Yousef not looking happy

Why is he looking so worried and freaked out while “my best buddy Even” Mikael is smiling and the rest of the boys are keen for the drama.

Why is Yousef being comforted because he is so quiet and angsty after Even is mentioned???

WHAT HAPPENED?

Is the Even bakka story to do with Mikael or Yousef?

because honestly it seems like Mikael and Even still talk and are buddies, while the boys find him an interesting conversation point.

But Yousef? Yousef becomes withdrawn and quiet as he starts thinking about something.

so again I ask WHAT HAPPENED?

And no I don’t think something necessarily happened with Mikael because they are friends who must still talk to each other and Mikael smiled when they talked about him. And honestly he wouldn’t have brought Even up if it was bad blood between them. It is a challenge but come on you never have to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

so finally one more time:

WHAT HAPPENED between Yousef and Even?

tree bros hcs
- connor gives 0 shits and he’s like “move it im gay” to everyone that’s in his way and evan trails behind with his face all red apologizing to ppl for his edgy boyfriend
- connor left his sweatshirt in evans room once when they were smooching and evan panicked when he found it bc that sweatshirt is connors comfort object; it’s got worn down holes on the cuffs of the sleeves from years of connor fidgeting with it; and evan rushes to school that morning to give it to connor bc ‘holy shit what if he thinks i did it on purpose i distracted him w kisses and i stole his sweatshirt and he’ll never talk to me again’ and connor is like 'dude. buddy. keep it. i feel good knowing you have it. it’ll keep u safe when im not there. it’s chill, okay?’
- evan wears the connor sweatshirt every night to bed even if it’s hot af out bc he never ever feels safer than in that sweatshirt
- (connor honestly did freak out when he realized he left it at evans but then he thought abt evan tucked nice and snug in it and that was a more comforting thought to him than actually getting it back. so he buys a new sweatshirt for himself at hot topic and they both match)
- evan is so fucking extra he finds 56 cents in the pockets of this fucking sweatshirt and gives the loose change back to connor and connor is just like …….bruh
- they go on walks all the time it’s their favorite date activity and evan gets so PUMPED to show connor his trees and evan is like “okay GUESS WHATS COOL ABOUT THIS ONE” and connor is like “it’s….tall.”
- connor went to see evan a lot when he worked at the park as a lil ranger thing and he LOVES evans silly uniform like it’s not even hardcore embarrassing or anything, he just gets a kick out of the fact that evan gets to wear a badge for knowing Some Facts About Trees
- evan always fixes the tags sticking out of connors shirt collars
- and connor always gets defensive like “maybe i wanted it there did you ever think of that >:|” and evan gets all cute flustered
- connor is the first to say i love u and he doesn’t make it a big deal, he just kind of says it one day and evan works himself up into a Panicked State bc he wanted to say it for the longest time but was too anxious to be the first one and now the barrier is just suddenly gone and connor loves him??? and that’s just a lot to handle so obviously evans hands get sweaty
- evan proofreads all of connors essays and connor loves watching him get lost in reading them
- ONE TIME and one time only evan gets up the courage to ask connor what the heck weed is like and connor hands him a brownie like “eat this” and evan eats the brownie and wow is he calmer or? something? and he’s being just WEIRD and connor is snorting bc it was just a normal, clean Cynthia Murphy brownie. he’d never give evan weed are you kidding me
- zoe and evan play this game where they bet on how many of connors outfit pieces are from hot topic but it’s all very discreet like “wow that’s a cool chain leather jacket connor where’d you get that from” and he’ll tell them and then one of them inevitably screams
- evan braids connors hair bc it’s calming for the both of them
- they watch nature documentaries like all the time and no one knows why or how it happens. it will be the middle of the day and somehow these two are dead asleep on the couch with natgeo on the tv at full volume
- they also watch a lot of antiques roadshow but they seek it out and genuinely have a good time with it

2

What a lucky man he is, to be walking hand in hand with the future First Lady of Amestris 

spaceless-sea  asked:

How are you? I hope well! Can you do a rfa+v and Saeran having to do seven minutes in heaven? Like honestly not even as drunk just sober. (Requests aren't open;-; but maybe later? Also I rlly love your blog like I'm most done with the masterlist^°^)

Author’s note: I hope you guys like this!!!! i’m still rusty ok it’s been awhile edit: I FORGOT V AGAIN someone please send in a request that says “add v” so I remember to edit him in here

Yoosung

  • “You wanna play cards? I brought them with me so we wouldn’t be bored!!”
  • Does he… Does he really not know what we’re supposed to be doing?
  • You looked down at Yoosung, who was already on sitting on the floor shuffling the deck
  • “Lemme guess… you’ve never played Seven minutes in Heaven.”
  • Yoosung paused for a second before shaking his head
  • You sat down next to him and smiled
  • He’s so cute…
  • “So what game do you wanna play, MC?”
  • But then again, this IS Seven minutes in heaven
  • “Strip Poker.”
  • Yoosung’s face turned bright red
  • “H-Huh? Strip?”
  • You smirked
  • “I’ll start.”
  • In one quick moment, your shirt was thrown across the room
  • “Okay, now you’re turn.”
  • Yoosung who had now achieved a new shade of red blatantly stared at your chest
  • “I-I… uhh, w-well-“
  • “SAY SOMETHING, YOU IDIOT!!!”
  • What the hell?
  • Yoosung looked behind you
  • “I think it came from the other side of the door.”
  • You stood up and opened the closet door, and in tumbled Zen and Jumin.
  • “So,” you crossed your arm and looked down at the two very guilty looking boys, “You wanna explain yourselves?”
  • The two of them began stuttering out excuses
  • “W-Well Yoosung’s never played before-“
  • “-I heard you were taking off your shirt-“
  • “-And I thought he might need guidance-“
  • “-So I wanted to hear the rest.”
  • You glared at them
  • “First, Jumin don’t be a perv, and second-“
  • “We were in the middle of something.”
  • You looked back at Yoosung, who had taken off his shirt
  • “And now that MC and I are even, I’d like to get back to the game.”
  • Despite the confidence behind Yoosung’s words, his face was as red as ever
  • You turned back around and smirked
  • “You heard the man!”
  • Jumin and Zen slowly got up, both mumbling curses under their breath.
  • You closed the door behind them
  • “Now, where were we?”
  • In the end the two of you ended up stripping to your underwear and then just playing go fish for the rest of the time

Zen

  • “W-What? I can’t be in a closet alone with MC!! How will I control myself?”
  • You walked over to the closet and gave Zen a smirk
  • “Who says you need to?”
  • 0.1 seconds later Zen was standing in the closet how the hell did he even get there so fast???
  • You closed the door and turned around
  • “So,” you clapped your hands together, “Show me what you got.”
  • Zen smirked
  • “You sure you can handle it?”
  • You raised an eyebrow, “I think you already know the answer to that.”
  • Zen smiled
  • “This is gonna be-“
  • Was all Zen could get out before hitting his head on the light
  • “Ohhh s-shittt…”
  • You rushed over to Zen, who was now bent over in pain
  • “Are you okay? Do you need ice? How bad does it hurt?”
  • Zen looked up at you with hazy eyes
  • “Slooowww down, youuu’reee talking wayyyy toooo fast!!!”
  • I’m not sure what’s more concerning… Zen’s slurred speech or the giant lump forming on his forehead.
  • “We need to get you out of here right-“
  • “NO! I want to give you… seven minutes…in…….”
  • THUD
  • “UHHHHHHH, GUYSOPENTHEDOORZENJUSTPASSEDOUT.”
  • “He did WHAT?”
  • Jaehee swung to door open, her eyes immediately traveling down to unconscious Zen
  • “What happened to his face? And why is the closet light busted??”
  • The rest of the RFA stood behind her, patiently awaiting your answer
  • “Well,” you looked down at Zen and smirked, “I guess he unleashed the beast a little too early.”

Jaehee

  • As soon as Jaehee closed the door she sunk down to the floor and sighed
  • “Finally… peace and quiet.”
  • You nodded, sitting down next to her
  • “Who the hell let Seven DJ anyways?”
  • Jaehee laughed, “I don’t know, but it was a horrible decision.”
  • It would’ve been fine if he just turned the damn the volume down…
  • You looked over at Jaehee, who was responding to an email on her phone
  • “Work’s got you pretty busy, huh?”
  • She gave you a sarcastic glare
  • “Doesn’t it always?”
  • The two of you began ranting about Jumin and the rest of the RFA
  • “I mean, does he think I’m just made out of cat toys? He can’t keep-“
  • “Wait… Jaehee?”
  • “Yeah?”
  • “I think our seven minutes are up… Did they forget about us?”
  • Jaehee checked her phone
  • “It’s been 12 minutes,” she looked back over at you and smiled, “so I think it’s safe to say they have.”
  • The two of you exchanged glances
  • It’s so nice in here…
  • “You wanna stay?”
  • Jaehee’s eyes lit up
  • “I thought you’d never ask!”
  • She set her phone down and yawned
  • “I think… I’ll take a nap.”
  • You reached up and turned the lights off
  • “Sounds good to me.”
  • You stared at the ceiling, waiting for the drowsiness to hit you
  • That was when you felt something warm slump on your shoulder
  • You looked over at Jaehee and she gave you a sleepy smile
  • “Do you mind if I use you as a pillow?”
  • Be still my heart.
  • “Y-Yeah!”
  • Jaehee closed her eyes, and within the next five minutes, she was asleep
  • The next morning Seven found both of you sleeping in his closet
  • And yes he was naked 
  • And yes he screamed
  • And yes you and Jaehee both screamed back
  • But it was still the best seven minutes in heaven you’ve ever played even if it wasn’t just seven minutes

Jumin

  • As SOON as the door closed he had you pinned up against the wall
  • “W-Woah, slow down there bud.”
  • Jumin closed his eyes and sighed, letting go of the grip he had on your hips
  • “Sorry,” he backed up and ran his hands through his hair
  • You practically feel him holding himself back
  • “Why are you so worked up??”
  • Jumin leaned back on the wall opposite of you
  • “It’s just, while we were out there, Zen kept… flirting with you.”
  • His nose crinkled when he said the word flirting, as if it were a disgusting word
  • “I know secretly dating is hard, but I really think its best.”
  • You looked up at him, “Especially with everything happening with your company…”
  • Jumin nodded, taking a step toward you
  • “I suppose I can’t blame Zen. You do look ravishing tonight,” Jumin smirked
  • You smiled back at him, giving him a small twirl
  • “Thank you, my boyfriend helped me pick this out.”
  • “I must say, your boyfriend has great taste. I bet he’s handsome, too.”
  • “Oh yes, extremely.”
  • “FIVE MINUTES LEFT YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS!!”
  • Seven’s yelling interrupted your conversation
  • “Hmm,” Jumin looked at you, “Do you think five minutes in enough?”
  • You pushed yourself off of the wall and grabbed Jumin by the tie
  • “Won’t know unless we try.”
  • And as it turns out, five minutes was more than enough time to… scroll through Jumin’s pictures of Elly

Saeran

  • “So.”
  • “Yup.”
  • “This is fun.”
  • “Really fun.”
  • For the first two minutes, those were the only words exchanged between you and Saeran
  • I have to do something to break this silence.
  • You cleared your throat
  • “Uhh… so how are you?”
  • SERIOUSLY??? Is that the best I could come up with?
  • “I’m fine.”
  • “…Cool.”
  • You looked down at your feet
  • I’m good too, thanks for asking.
  • this poor child doesn’t know how to socialize have mercy on him
  • When you looked back up at him, his eyes quickly darted away
  • Was he staring at me?
  • A light blush crossed his face
  • That’s… kinda cute.
  • You bit your lip
  • Well, this is seven minutes in heaven
  • Before your brain could tell you otherwise, you leaned forward and lightly pressed your lips against his
  • After getting over the initial shock that someone was actually kissing him Saeran grabbed your chin and deepened the kiss
  • When you pulled away, both of you were out of breath
  • You leaned back against the wall
  • “…So.”
  • “Yup.”
  • “That was fun.”
  • Really fun.”
  • Seven swung the door open
  • “TIME’S UP!!!”
  • You looked at Saeran and smirked
  • “Let’s do this again sometime.”
  • Saeran followed you out the door and grabbed your wrist
  • He pulled you back and lowered his voice so the other’s couldn’t here
  • “Name the place and I’ll be there.”
  • Oh, this was going to be f u n.

Seven

  • “♪♫YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, MC AND SEVEN IN HEAVEN FOR SEVEN♪♫”
  • You looked back the rest of the group
  • “Please help me.”
  • Jaehee gave you a pitying look and Zen saluted you “in honor of his fallen comrade”
  • Before you could anyone else’s reaction, Seven grabbed your hand and pulled you into the closet
  • “Your closet is a lot smaller than I thought it would be.”
  • Seven let go of your hand and laughed
  • “You do know I wear almost the same thing every day, right?”
  • You reached out to feel one of his shirts
  • “This one is my favorite.”
  • You pointed to the shirt Yoosung had gotten Seven for his birthday
  • It had a picture of the RFA on the front and the word “family” in Arabic on the back
  • “Mine too.”
  • Seven stepped closer to you
  • “You wanna see why I was so excited to get you in here?”
  • You felt your face heat up
  • “W-Well, I mean-“
  • “SAERAN TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!”
  • “What?”
  • As soon as the lights went off, Seven turned you around so you were facing the door
  • He wrapped his arms around you, giving you a tight hug from behind
  • “Look up.”
  • You tilted your head to look up at the ceiling
  • “Oh my…”
  • Glow-in-the-dark stars were scattered all over the top of the closest, turning the dull ceiling into a tiny galaxy
  • “It’s beautiful.”
  • Seven buried his face in the crook of your neck
  • “So are you.”
  • And that’s when it hit you
  • You were literally in heaven in with Seven
  • “Thank you.”
“It’s Been a Long Time” Sentence Starters

Muse A and Muse B haven’t seen each other in years.  Put one of these sentences in my ask to have your muse react to seeing my muse again after such a long time.

  • “It’s been awhile.”
  • “I can explain.”
  • “You’re supposed to be dead.”
  • “How did you get here?”
  • “Please don’t leave me again.”
  • “I need you to tell me the truth about where you’ve been.”
  • “I never thought I’d see you again.”
  • “I’m so glad I’ve finally found you!”
  • “Whatever rock you crawled out from under, you should crawl back.  Now!”
  • “Well, look what the cat dragged in!”
  • “I never thought I’d be so happy to see you.”
  • “Do you remember me at all?”
  • “Why didn’t you let me know you were okay?”
  • “Well, fancy seeing you again!”
  • “I never stopped looking for you.”
  • “What are you doing here?”
  • “I know you said you never wanted to see me again, but - ”
  • “Please don’t pretend like you don’t know me!’
  • “How dare you show your face around here!”
  • “What are you doing in a place like this?”
  • “You haven’t changed one bit.”
  • “Why did you just walk away like that?”
  • “Did you even stop to think about what your disappearance would do to me?”
  • “I know, I know - I’m supposed to be dead.”
  • “It’s a long story.”
  • “I-I’m sorry I left without saying anything.”
  • “I’m sorry I never contacted you.”
  • “Do - I know you?”
  • “Please don’t ask where I’ve been.”
  • “Miss me?”
  • “Please don’t let this be a dream.”
  • “How long have you been here?”
  • “Did you ever even try to look for me?”
  • “You said you’d never come back here!”
  • “Thank god I finally found you!”
Things my friends have said about Hamilton

“You know you can’t rap guns and ships, why are you-aaand she’s doing it.”

“Can we just listen to say no to this again, I love Maria’s voice.”

“sHUT UP ABOUT HAMILTON. I DON’T CARE ABOUT HIM, OKAY.”

“Why are you crying? Oh my god, I swear if you’re crying over Philip Hamilton again-”

*unintelligible noise upon hearing opening for It’s Quiet Uptown*

“Honestly, Eliza deserved so much better.”

“yES ANGELICA DRAG HIS ASS.”

“And I’m never gonna stop until I ahgjhgskawkfdhsdlhsdj. Crap. Uh. I’m no Daveed Diggs.”

“Alexander Hamilton did not die for this shit.”

“I relate to Alex so much, because I never shut up either.”

“I wanna be an Eliza. But I think I’m just a Peggy. Oh my god, am I a Peggy?”

“What do you mean I can’t sing Burr’s part and Peggy’s part?”

“Okay, but am I more Eliza or Angelica?”

“Okay, so if you usually sing Alex, Angelica, and Burr, and I usually sing Eliza, Maria, and Philip…I’m your son, but I’m also married to you, and you cheated on me with myself. You’re also my sister. Uh, let’s not read too much into that?”

“Wow, Alex, that’s pretty gay.”

BTS Reaction | Wanting to be called daddy

Request; they want to be called daddy by you or you accidentally moan daddy one night and they want you to call it them again

A/N; If this is something you’re not comfortable with, don’t read on! ~

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

SOPHIE!! i don't have Twitter so i have no idea what everyone is talking about Tyren and camren and L's tweets so pLEASE update me, i want to know e v e r y t h i n g !!! pls and thanks❤️

Okay, so it started when Ty posted this pic :

In a way confirming his relationship with Lauren.

The fandom got insane over it. Basically people are calling Lauren an hypocrite for dating a guy like Ty, who is known to have questionable opinions on women and the LGBTQ community, when she’s a proud feminist and bisexual.

Now there are three types of “haters” in there : 

1. The basic idiots, who don’t know anything about Lauren and who are just there to hate for pleasure - the real “fake fans”

2. The basic idiots who pretend to be “real fans” - often mistaken to be only Camren shippers when really most of them don’t even really ship Camren, they just want to piss Lauren off

3. The real fans, who are actually not hating on Lauren but are just worried about her and her decisions lately - but are still respectful about it - there are Camren shippers in there, respectful ones.

Anyways, earlier today Lauren lashed out in a few tweets about all the hate she was getting for maybe dating Ty

Until then it was okay, Lauren’s usual “I pretend that I don’t give a fuck but really I do” tweet - but then shit hit the fan when she replied to this tweet :

Once again, Lauren put every haters in the Camren shipper basket. Basically going back to the “sick pleasure” tweet she did a few months ago and once again not having any respect for the fans that are genuinely worried about her or other Camren shippers, like myself for example, who never bothered her.

Once again she made fun of a ship that helps and matters to a lot of people. 

Once again, she’s not thinking about the consequences of her words.

And to further illustrate my point, she also liked this tweet : 

There you go again, we’re the pervert CS who always hate on Lauren and imagine her having sex with Camila while we’re doing ourselves 🙄🙄🙄

Anyways, all of this hurt a lot of people - because Camren has a very deep meaning for many of us. So now people are pissed and sad because the artist we love, who is part of the community, who is supposed to represent us, is belittling us and making us feel guilty for just wanting to find comfort and representation in a ship.

Jake Peralta: Stepdad!AU

So this was going to be an actual fic, but, alas, any sort of narrative wouldn’t come, so instead allow me to offer a series of (not at all canon-timeline compliant) headcanons about Amy Santiago’s tiny daughter taking Jake in as part of the family:

  • When Amy starts at the Nine-Nine, she is Very Adamant that Jake will never meet Maya, largely because a) He’s the worst, and b) Maya doesn’t need to see her mother curse out a fellow employee, but mostly c) He’s The Worst.
  • Except she only lasts twelve days, at which point Captain McGinley calls her in on her day off because he’s finally realized that his new detective has started and he wants to meet her, even though they have met four (4) times and he’s assigned two cases to her and Jake
    • It’s supposed to be a short meeting and she promises a very teary-eyed Maya that she’ll be real quick, but she needs to go in without Maya because McGinley looks like he might yell for some reason, Amy can just tell, and Sarge isn’t here and Amy barely knows anyone else and Jake offers, basically
    • Maya is just v. v. teary when Amy blows her a quick kiss before entering McGinley’s office
    • The meeting lasts exactly forty-seven minutes
    • Amy expects A Disaster when she gets out, or at the very least a very stressed-out Jake trying to pass her daughter off on someone else
    • But instead Maya is sitting in Jake’s lap with two of his superhero figurines gripped between her sweaty little hands, patiently telling a story while Jake writes on a piece of paper next to her
    • “And then there’s a dragon,” Maya says breathlessly, and Jake nods along patiently
    • “Fire-breathing or bearded?” he offers, and Maya really considers it for a moment before deciding on bearded. “Got it, I’ve jotted that down.”
    • “I thought no one was allowed to touch your dolls?” Amy asks when she gets to them, and she’s a little stressed out about this whole situation because Jake is suddenly, like, a kind person? Who’s been watching her daughter for forty-seven minutes and counting?
    • “Uh, obviously this is Red Metal Man and Mr. Star, okay.”
    • It’s not. It’s Iron Man and Captain America, and Amy can tell because she’s not totally out of the loop of the cultural zeitgeit, okay, and she sometimes pays attention to movie posters and has very definitely seen at least two of the superhero movies
    • “Plus I believe I said no Santiagos, and that was back before I knew there was a cool Santiago in the clan.”
    • Maya, meanwhile, has grabbed a pen off of Jake’s desk and is now leaning precariously over said desk and drawing on some of the large blank spaces Jake had left on the paper
    • And Amy realizes that Jake was writing down Maya’s story but made sure there was room so she could draw
    • Jake grins at her sheepishly, braces Maya with one hand on her back to make sure she doesn’t slip, and says, “It’s her vision, and she’s, like, a really good storyteller.”
    • Amy swoons, but in a low-key, subtle way. Probably.
    • Anyway, but Jake is also The Worst, so it doesn’t matter

Keep reading

Dance With Me - Jeff Atkins Smut

Jeff Atkins x reader

Request: I wanted to ask for an imagine. So the reader and Jeff are a couple and they are at the prom and in a dance the things got a bit hot so they go to Tony’s car. And you are a really good friend with tony so when they finish tony knocked the window of the car telling her he has to take her home. Please i’d love you a lot if you write something with this 😍. Thanks anyway ☺️

Warnings: Smut, swearing


“Mom I’m about to leave! Tony is almost here” I pick up my gold clutch and start to head for the door.

“Wait! wait! wait!” I hear my mom running down the stairs and I try to hold in my giggles. She comes running down with her camera.

“Where is Jeff? is he still coming?”

“Yes mom, he’s walking over here now, which why I need to go”. She walks over to me and fix my curled hair and smooths out my dress.

“You look gorgeous hunny. I want to wait for him to come so I can pictures.”

“Moooom” I whine. Leave it to her to be totally embarrassing. She loves Jeff. We have been dating for over a year now and the minute she met him, she thought of him as her child. She practically begs him to come over and even cooks for him. As she’s in the middle of taking pictures of me, the doorbell rings.

“That’s my sweetie Jeffy!” my mom says as she jogs to the door. I shake my head at her sudden change in sweetness. She swings open the door and crushes him in a hug.

“Hi Ms.y/l/n. These are for you.” As I look over her shoulder, I see Jeff give my mother a bouquet of peony flowers. This is exactly why she loves him. I wouldn’t be surprised if she loves him more than me.

“Oh my goodness! how sweet, Thank you Jeffrey, I’m going to go put these in a vase.” As she speeds off I shake my head and laugh. I look back at him and see him holding another bouquet of flowers, but its stunning red roses. My favorite.

“And these” he says as he pecks my lip, “Are for you my lady”. I grab the flowers and can’t hold in my smile.

“Why thank you sir.” I say as I kiss him again. I put the flowers down on the table beside the stairs and look back at him, taking in his attire. He looked amazing, although I’m not surprised. He’s the only guy that I feel can pull off a white top tuxedo. I noticed that he’s doing the same to me, taking in my outfit.

“Wow” he says with his mouth parted. I look down thinking something is wrong with my dress.

“What?” I say looking down. “Nothing, you just look beautiful.” I smile again, pushing my hair behind my ear. Even after a year with Jeff, he never fails to still make me feel special. After about 10 minutes, my mom comes jogging back in with her camera. She was probably in a daze with her flowers. 

“Okay you too, pictures then you can leave.” We spend the next 5 minutes taking different pictures together and my mom even sheds a few tears. After a bit, I finally get a text from Tony.

Hey y/n/n I’m outside

“Okay mom, Tony is outside, we have to go” I say, looping my arm through Jeff’s.

“Okay, okay have fun you too. Not too much fun now.” Jeff glances at me from the corner of his eye and I blush.

“Of course mom, we know” I grab my bag again as we walk out the door and skip down the stairs to Tony’s car.

“Be safe love you! Hi Tony hunny!” My mom calls out. I scream a quick ‘love you too’ as me and Jeff get into his car.

“Hey y/m/n, I’ll get her home safe!” He gets into the car and turns on his loud indie music that he loves. Jeff got into the front seat while I sit in the back. Tony drives off as we all make small talk, laughing together like we always do.

“Is Ryan going to be there?” I ask over the music.

“Yeah, we are doing the music together and hopefully squeeze in a dance.”

“Nice man” Jeff says, “If you guys don’t dance, I’ll grab you guys by the hand and force you.” I laugh at my boyfriends comment. He loves meddling in other peoples love life. That’s probably why we are so good together, he genuinely loves happy relationships. 

“Let’s get ready to fuck the night up!” Tony screams.


As we all walk inside, the music is blasting and there are a bunch of people dancing and grinding against each other. With my hand in Jeff’s, we walk through the crowd, chatting with different people here and there. 

“Jeff! Y/n! Tony!” We look and see Jessica, Justin and Monty waving us over to the center of the dance floor. we waltz over to them and I laugh at how wasted Jessica is almost getting, dry humping against a very happy Justin.

“I’m glad you guys came!” she screams. We all talk and laugh over the music and just have a good time bumping and dumb dancing to every song. Tony taps our shoulders and talks over the music.

“Guys I’m going to go up there with Ryan to help my boy out. You dudes have fun!” 

“Ada boy Tony! Go have fun!” Jeff laughs. Tony playful rolls his eyes and disappears into the crowd. We all continue dancing and laughing at a now drunk Jessica. Jeff slides his hands on my waist and whispers in my ear.

“Do you want a drink babe?” 

“Yeah I’ll go with you.” He grabs my hand as we head over to the food table.

“Jeff man, there is vodka in the left punch!” Justin yells over the music. Jeff turns his head back to look at him, “Nah I’m fine, but thanks”.

We get to the table and Jeff pours us some punch from the right. He seems to be looking around the gym a lot looking for something, but I already knew it was someone.

“Babe, Clay is sitting on the bleachers over there” I point. He looks at the direction of my finger and smiles at me.

“What I would do without you, I’ll be right back baby”. He pecks my lips and walks over to sit next to Clay. They talk for a few minutes and I can’t help but smile. Jeff is such a sweet person, and I love him so much for it. I continue to drink my punch as I look around at the people dancing. Soon a slow song comes on and I see Clay walking towards Hannah, and Jeff smiling at me from the bleachers, heading my way. He grabs my hand and pulls me towards the dance floor. He puts his hands on my waist, while I wrap my arms around his neck, swaying slowly.

“Is your job done?” I smile at him, “Yup, for now. Now I can focus on my beautiful girlfriend.”

I lay my head his shoulder, closing my eyes as I smell in his cologne. As we continue to slow dance, Jeff’s slides his hands down to my butt. He lightly squeezes and I look up at him.

“Jeff babe, what are you doing?” I ask slowly, looking around so no one sees him grabbing my ass in public.

“Hmm?” he hums. He starts kissing my neck and pushing me closer to him. 

“Jeff” I whisper, “stop babe, before people see.” He ignores me and starting sucking my sweet spot, not caring that people would see my soon to form hickey. I bite my lip, wanting to tell him to stop, but can’t. He’s turning me on and he knows it. I open my eyes and see people occupied with their date, either dancing or sucking their face off. Still sucking another part of my neck, Jeff is now full on squeezing my ass, pulling me into him. He stops and go straight to my mouth kissing me softly. I put my hand to his face, lightly moaning into his mouth. I can tell Jeff is forgetting we are in public once his hand goes to the back of my dress, tugging on my zipper. I move his hands and break our kiss. 

“Jeff, we are still in school” I laugh, softly panting. As I look at him, his eyes are filled with love and more importantly, lust. He grabs my waist and leans his lips against my ear.

“Then lets not be” he says deeply. I look up at him and bite my lip, nodding my head. He smirks and grabs my hand walking towards Tony up in the music area. As we walk, I noticed how wet Jeff as gotten me already just from giving me a hickey and feel hot from him not caring that we are around a bunch of students and teachers. As we get to Tony, Jeff whispers something in his ear. Tony laughs shaking his head and then reach into his pocket grabbing his keys. He hands him his keys, saying something back, earning a laugh from Jeff. As we walk towards the exit I look back at Tony smiling at us. 

“What did Tony say to you?” I ask as we walk outside.

“He said don’t stain his seats” he laughs. I flush from the embarrassment that Tony knows what we are about to do. We walk to his car, feeling the thick tension in the air around us. We clearly both can’t wait to rip each other clothes off and it’s exciting me. When Jeff unlocks the back door, he doesn’t even waste time. He pulls us in and locks the door behind us, starting back to kissing my neck.

“Since I say you in this dress, I wanted nothing than to rip it off of you” he says in his husky voice. I moan at his words and climb on top of him. 

“Not this one” I say smirking, “You already ripped my other dress.” He bites his lip to hold in his laugh.

“I said I was sorry baby.”

“I am too.”

“About wha-” before he can finish, I grab his shirt and pop all his buttons, revealing his hard abs in front of me. His mouth drops open as he looks at his now ripped shirt.

“Babe!” he yells as I smile innocently and start sucking his neck. He leans his head back and grab my waist. I’m glad I chose to wear a thin pair of thongs, feeling him get hard under me. He unzips my dress and I wiggle out of it, getting up to take it fully off. I am now only left in just my thong, now feeling conscious that someone could see me. We are parked behind the school away from other cars and houses, but I’m still nervous. He looks up and down at my exposed body and I can’t help but love the way he was looking at me. 

“Fuck, your so sexy y/n”. I pull his ripped shirt and jacket off of him and go back to kissing. He wraps his arms around my torso as he deepens the kiss, kissing me hungrily. I palm his member through our body, making him moan as he bucks his hips into my hand, wanting to feel more. I unzip his pants and pull them down to his ankles. He breaks our kiss, and wraps his lips around one of my breast, making me lean my head back against the head rest of the drivers seat. I hump against his hard member, making me even more wet against our friction. I moan at our movement as Jeff moves my hips faster against him.

“Fuck, babe your killing me” he grunts. I smirk at him as I pull his member from his boxers and pump him with my hands. He throws his head back and starts breathing hard. He starts to buck himself into my hand, moaning my name.

“Fuck y/n, that feels good”. I go faster, looking at him almost come undone with my fingers. As I continue, Jeff pulls my underwear to the side, rubbing his finger against my clit. As I speed my hand on his dick, Jeff starts to rub harder against my core. I throw my head back again, grinding my hips onto his fingers.

“Fuck Jeff!” I moan, biting my lip. Both of us are a moaning mess as we pick up our pace. A wave of heat rush to my core and I stop pumping him once I feel him twitch in my hand. 

“Baby, I can’t wait anymore” He kisses me, as he grabs a condom from the arm rest of Tony’s car. I stop kissing him to start laughing.

“Why does Tony have those in his car” I laugh, “Cause he’s not dumb” Jeff laughs back. He slides on the condom and positions himself at my entrance, waiting for me to go from there. I grab his member from under me and pull my underwear to the side, slowly sliding onto him, moaning at the feeling.

“Fuck” I moan, as I sit on him fully. I slowly start to circle around him, to get use to the feeling. He groans against me and starts to bounce me up and down. I move his hand away, shaking my head.

“I got this babe, relax.” He puts his hand up to surrender and puts his hand to his side. I put my arm around his neck and start to slowly ride him, teasing him. 

“Baby, please” he breaths out, with his eyes closed. I pull closer into him and pick up my pace, bouncing hard against him. He moans louder as I start pounding on him. 

“Fuck baby! I need to touch you” He goes to my legs and lightly lifts them as he lowers himself in the seat. He roughly starts thrusting into me as I wrap my legs around him. I try not to scream so no one can here, but fuck he’s making it hard.

“Jeff! my god!” I loudly moan, my arms wrapped around his neck. He picks up his pace, his nails digging into my thighs. 

“Babe, I-I’m abo-” I feel Jeff twitch inside of me as his thrust got sloppier. I start to feel myself tighten and I moan louder.

“Yes! babe, I can’t!” I yell. Jeff pounds into me full speed as we both ride out our high. I slide off of him as he pulls back up his boxers. Still latched onto him, I see how all the windows in the car is fogged up. Both panting, I lay my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes.

“I love you baby” he says, rubbing my back.

“I love you too” I say sleepily.

It seems like we have been laying here for hours before we hear a knock on the window.

“Shit!” I cursed as I jump off of Jeff, pulling my dress back on, trying to zipper it back up while Jeff laughs at me. He throws on his shirt and jacket, waits till my dress is back on, then rubs the fogged up window, seeing the back of Tony. 

“Are you guys clothes on?” he asks, still not looking at us. Jeff rolls the window down laughing. 

“Yes you big baby” he laughs.

“Good, cause I promised y/m/n that I will have her home safe and if she’s split on half, that’s not saf-”

“Ew okay Tony just get in the car!” I yell, not wanting to be embarrassed anymore. He laughs and gets in the drivers side, getting the keys back from Jeff. As he starts the car, he starts to loudly sniff. 

“Do you guys mind opening the windows, it smells like sex in her-”

“Oh my gosh Tony!” I yell, covering my face flushing. Jeff finds this all so hilarious, laughing his ass off at all of this. For the rest of the ride, Tony keeps looking in his mirror at us, trying to hold in his laugh. 

“So did you guys have fun tonight?”

“Yeah, but my favorite part was the ride” he says looking at my red face.

“It was really good” he smirks.

“Jeff!” I yell.

Give me a break.

Hii! I know it’s been forever since I wrote something and I’m very sorry. There’s been so much on my mind lately and so many things that made me feel overwhelmed and I just needed to sort it out. This is kind of very loosely based on ‘Love me or leave me’ by Little Mix because someone requested it. I hope you like it. I plan on writing a second part.xxx

“Well, maybe I don’t fucking care anymore!”
It seemed like his booming voice made the whole house vibrate. It seemed like it cut right through Y/N. His words felt like he took a knife and rammed it into her heart and to top it all off he twisted it slowly so the pain had time to spread.
These last weeks felt like nothing but pain for her. He was never home and even when he was he somehow wasn’t. She let him in and he pushed her away. He pushed her so far away she couldn’t feel him anymore.
“Why are you still here then!?”
She had had enough. If he didn’t care anymore he could walk out the door and never come back.
Harry scoffed, turned around and walked up the stairs. When he slammed the bedroom door shut Y/N could feel the last bit of connection between them slipping away completely.
It’s never been this harsh. They slammed doors and yelled hurtful things before but it’s never been like this. Somehow this felt final.
She didn’t know how it happened, how everything between them began to crumble. But it did.
She didn’t feel his loving touch in at least three months. She didn’t hear his loving words in at least three months.
They fought almost every day and when they didn’t fight they didn’t talk to each other at all. Mornings were spent alone and cold, both waking up at their own times without a good morning kiss or a cuddle or anything at all. Nights were even worse. They went to sleep in the same bed but facing away from each other. They never solved their problems before bed. They broke their rule every single night and went to bed angry.
And even though right now Y/N might think it would be better if their paths would part she also knew she wouldn’t recover from it. Harry was the love of her life. She knew she could never be happy without him.
And so she broke down. Ugly sobs and fat tears. The whole weight of the last few months finally got too much and she couldn’t take it anymore. She was sure she’s never cried this much in her entire life. She was sure she never felt so hurt but numb at the same time before.
She didn’t know what the hell went wrong. What she did to push him away. What she did that made him stop loving her.
He doesn’t love you anymore.
Those were the words that constantly replayed in her head, after every fight.
He hates me.
She couldn’t find another explanation. That was the only reason she could think of as to why he wasn’t interested in fixing things between them.

When she met him she was sure he was the most wonderful person she’s ever met. He looked at her as if she was the most important thing on earth. He cooked the most delicious dinner for her. He held doors for her. He made her laugh and feel appreciated.
When she really got to know him she was knocked off her feet. He was the most gentle and loving man she could have ever imagined. He was there for her. He was the place she ran to when the world overwhelmed her. He was her happy place. Her home.
When things got a bit rough they stuck together. They were a team. They faced everything together and fought through it.
Y/N was the happiest girl ever. She thought she found her forever. Her happily ever after.
Until the perfect relationship began to change into great, then good, then normal and then…
Into whatever they had now.
She couldn’t take it anymore. And the worst thing was that there was no way out of this hell. They can’t go back to where they’ve once been. And parting ways? No fucking way could she survive without him.

It was three hours and twenty tissues later when Harry finally exited the bedroom and came down the stairs. Y/N was standing in front of the big living room window which had a view over what seemed like half of London. Her back was turned to Harry, her hair messy and her frame slightly shaking.
She knew that whatever would come now would change everything. She knew that they reached a point were something had to happen. Anything.
Harry took a deep breath and took the last few step towards her. Y/N closed her eyes when she felt his warmth. She hadn’t felt it in so long.
When he reached his hand out thread his fingers through hers she flinched. Harry could feel his heart breaking at her reaction to his touch. He closed the gap between them and pressed his chest flush against her back. That’s when Y/N started to cry again. Her whole body shook with the force of her tears and the whimpers and sobs seemed to get louder with every passing second.
“Shhh.” Harry tried to calm her and finally wrapped his arms around her from behind.
He nuzzled his face into her neck where she always smelled so good and that’s when he realized how long he hasn’t done that.
Y/N moved her arms so she could intertwine both her hands with his. She didn’t remember the last time she held his hand. She used to love his hands so much, always playing with his fingers and kissing his knuckles.
Harry kept pressing tiny kisses to her shoulder and squeezed her tighter to him every time a whimper left her lips.
They stood like that for at least ten minutes before Y/N turned around in his arms and hugged him again. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, his hands stroking softly over her back while her hands were fisting his shirt. She couldn’t get close enough. She needed him closer. Her hands wandered down underneath his shirt to touch his skin. Harry shuddered when her cold hands touched his skin but he knew she needed this. She hasn’t felt his skin in forever. It almost felt foreign.

When they finally pulled away from each other both of them were scared to let go. This couldn’t be it. They needed each other.
“We have to talk, Harry.” she whispered and pressed her forehead against his.
“I know, my love.”
My love. Was she still his love?
She thought he hated her.
They sat down at the kitchen table across from each other. Both of them couldn’t be fast enough to reach out for each other again and when their hands bumped against each other they both laughed softly. For the first time in months.
None of them wanted to be the first to say anything. Until Harry finally couldn’t take the silence anymore.
“I didn’t mean anything that I said earlier. Or… in the last few weeks. God, what is happening with us?”
“I don’t know, Harry. But it can’t keep going like this. I can’t take it anymore.”
“Me neither, love. I know I didn’t show how much it was affecting me but I want you to know that I feel just as broken as you do.”
Broken. Is that what they’ve become?
“I… I thought you hated me. During all these times you pulled away or turned your back towards me, I thought you hated me.”
Harry’s free hand reached out to hers so he could clasp her hand in both of his.
“I never ever hated you. Not for a second. And I never will.”
Y/N felt like a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders and she felt like she could breath again.
“I love you so much, darling.” Harry whimpered.
Her head snapped up so she could look at him and when she saw tears running down his cheek she reached over the table to wipe them away.
“I love you too, Harry. So much.”
Harry removed her hand from his face and pressed gentle kiss to ever knuckle.
“What are we going to do, love? I want to fix this. I want to go back to being the happiest couple ever. I want to go back to being happy with each other.”
“Me too, Harry. God, I’d do everything to get back to what we once had.”
They stared into each other’s eyes until Y/N cleared her throat and diverted her eyes to the table.
“I-I think we need a break.”
Harry’s whole world stopped in that moment. His mouth fell open and his brows furrowed. He pulled his hands from hers and a breathless ‘no’ left his lips.
“No.” He repeated after a moment.
“No way.”
“Harry, listen. I-”
“No!” he shouted.
Y/N flinched and her ears began to ring like every time he raised his voice at her. Her eyes closed and tears began to dribble down her cheeks.
“Do you think I’m stupid? I know exactly what’s going to happen when we do that. You’re going to realize just how unhappy I make you and that you are so sick and tired of me and you’ll never come back. Or you’ll find someone else who makes you laugh more than I ever did. God, I’m going to be gone for two weeks for promo. Is that not enough distance and space for you?!“
“Harry, I need time okay? I need time to take care of myself. I need time for sorting things out. I need time so that this all can work again and if you’re honest, you need it too.”
He laughed humorlessly and crossed his arms over his chest.
“You will have that time when I’m gone.”
“I-I don’t think two weeks are going to be enough.”
His eyes caught hers and she swore she’s never seen him look at her like that. So sad but angry at the same time.
“L-Longer?”
“Two weeks are nothing, Harry.”
“There’s been times when you couldn’t go a single day without me. There’s been times where two weeks without each other seemed like the end of the world.”
She closed her eyes and tried to control the tears which constantly blurred her sight.
“I don’t think we can sort anything out in two weeks.”
“I don’t think we can sort anything out when we’re away from each other.”
“Harry, please.”
He closed his eyes briefly and sighed.
“How long?”
“T-Two months?”
“No fucking way!”
This time it was Y/N’s turn to sigh.
“Harry, I-”
“One month. And not a single day longer.”
She caught his eyes for a moment before she nodded.
“Alright.”
They sat in silence for several minutes, both didn’t know what to say.
“I-I thought I’d stay in a hotel for the two weeks before you’re gone and then I’ll come back.”
“No.”
“Harry,-”
“No. Please, I-… I want to know you’re safe. You’ll stay here and I’ll stay with Gemma.”
“If that’s okay with you.”
“No, it’s actually not.”
She looked at him with the saddest eyes he ever saw and he shook his head and and sighed.
“I’m gonna go pack some stuff and then you won’t have to deal with me anymore.”
“Harry, I did not suggest a break because I want to get away from you as quickly as possible. I want to fix this. And I feel like some distance is the only way to sort things out. Or at least make the first step.”
He didn’t say anything but just left the kitchen and went upstairs to pack a few things. For some reason Y/N couldn’t help but feel guilty. Of course she knew he wouldn’t be happy with taking a break, she wasn’t either. But she hoped he could at least understand where she came from.

When he came down the stairs half an hour later with two big duffle bags Y/N almost felt like crying again. She watched him, how he placed them beside the front door, wiped his tears away, took a deep breath and turned around to make his way to the kitchen so he could say goodbye but she was already standing in the foyer. They stared at each other for a few moments before Harry cleared his throat and removed a greasy strand of hair from his face.
“I’ll go now, I guess.”
“Yeah.” Y/N nodded and sniffled.
He looked at her for another few seconds before he let out a frustrated sigh.
“Can I at least get a hug?”
He saw the surprise on her face but she nodded anyway and took the last few steps towards him. She slung her arms tightly around his neck and pressed her body tightly to his and Harry wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her to his chest. He pressed kisses to her shoulder and neck and stroked over her back in gentle patterns.
When they pulled away a bit Y/N reached up to cup his cheeks and stroke over his skin.
“I love you. Nothing changed about that and nothing is going to change. I don’t want you to worry about me breaking up with you. I couldn’t imagine life without you.”
Harry pressed his forehead to hers and pulled her body even closer.
“Will you say goodbye when I’ll leave for New York? Don’t think I could leave without seeing you before.”
“I’ll think about it, okay?”
Harry sighed but nodded.
“C-Can I kiss you?” he asked her in a whisper.
She leaned in and connected her lips to his as an answer, his bottom lip slipping between hers. She kissed him four times before she pulled away a bit to look up at him again.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
She nodded and smiled softly at him.
“I love you, too.”
Harry gazed into her eyes for another few seconds before he pressed a few gentle kisses against her lips again. He pulled away from her then and took his duffle bags.
“I’ll let you know when I’ll leave for New York. You can call me or come over anytime you need, okay?”
“Okay. You can come over or call as well. Even if it’s the middle of the night.”
He nodded and opened the door.
“Take care, yeah?”
“You too, love.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
And just like that he left.

it’s so hard to make friends.

i stutter when i talk; i pause randomly in the middle of sentences because the word gets stuck and i can’t speak.

i flap my hands and rock back and forth when excited; i tap the table rapidly when stressed/irritated/uncomfortable.

i get obsessed with one specific thing for weeks to months on end and i’ll never stop talking about it.

i even obsess over people - i’ll hyperfixate on one specific person for, again, weeks to months at a time and will think endlessly of them and want to be with them at all times.

i don’t get sarcasm and social cues. i just don’t understand.

i can never see the big picture of things. it’s always seen in little pieces.

it’s so hard to make friends when every single thing i do is deemed as “socially unacceptable” and “weird”. i’m “not normal” and people have always avoided me because of it.

it’s so difficult.