i will murder them in their sleep

to do this summer

read flowers in the attic, anil’s ghost, dreamtigers, flower children, song of solomon, esperanza rising, who cooked the last supper, books on mythology and books on the properties of flowers and herbs

watch a nos amours, don’t deliver us from evil, kings of summer, moonrise kingdom, beasts of the southern wild, stealing beauty, totoro, psychout for murder, waterlilies, romeo + juliet, smooth talk, dazed and confused, empire records, stoker, as you are

go to europe (sleep on trains draw strangers wander through open fields see grampa dance a lot hike through cities drink good cheap wine), make a map of every sacred place i’ve been to, revisit the enchanted forest, feel whole and holy at fort reno, work or live on a farm for a bit, get my ears pierced, get a stick n poke of “17″ or a shooting star, get my license but bike and walk everywhere, design new clothes and sell them, daydream on my roof for hours, go on food adventures, visit haunted places, tend to the garden, press flowers and make flower tattoos, spend time with the people that matter, find fields and forests with magic in them to walk in with friends, picnic, make s’mores, walk through thunderstorms, walk through the night, make a girl band, fall in love or in SOMETHING, hold rituals to harness the power of the summer and stop time, make potions, make a movie and/or a graphic novel that encapsulates my time here, publish my archive of high school journals as a zine, hold dance parties 


YOI Skaters As Things I Have Done
  • Viktor: Collapsed in the hallway because my friend wasn't paying enough attention to me, spent hundreds of dollars on a gift for same friend, and pissed off a bunch of my other friends by declaring said friend as my favorite
  • Yurio: Accidentally kicked one of my friends in the head, then laughing when she got pissed
  • Yuuri: Woke my mom up at 2am because of all the racket I was making in the kitchen while stress baking cookies
  • Christophe: Showing my friends photos of my boobs because "don't they look so good in this photo?" and getting the response "your boobs are fantastic"
  • Phichit: Keeping a folder of all the ugly selfies my best friend has ever sent me to give to her future boyfriend
  • Mila: Picked up friend and ran to PE because "your legs are too short to keep up with mine, either buy roller skates and hold onto my sleeve or let me carry you, we don't have all day"
  • Georgi: Sent my girlfriend at the time 500 seconds of snapchats in under 10 minutes before she woke up and then continued to send more after she woke up
  • Sara: Gave an hour long lecture to one of my best friends who I consider to be family on gender roles and why I generally dislike men who aren't fictional that some how turned into me listing reasons why girls are beautiful and I Love them
  • Michele: Have given the same two pieces of dating advice to one of my friends for years, "dump him" or "give me your phone, I'm going to fight him"
  • Emil: Hugged one of my best friends for over an hour, actually it was closer to two, I only let go when I fell asleep
  • JJ: Talked for a full hour about how hot I am to one of my friends and then after a few minutes of silence, whispered "oh god, I really hate myself" and then curled up into a ball and cried
  • Minami: Consistently terrifies friends with shrieking flying tackle hugs from behind, screams of terror usually ensue
  • Seung-gil: Robotically wrote the Bee Movie Script on the classroom board when we had a sub, "Do you have work you are supposed to be doing?" "Yes." "Is this it?" "No, do you have any more questions?" "I- uh, no, I guess not."
  • Guang Hong: Texted someone that if they messed with my best friend I would brutally murder them and then followed up with blushing emojis and flower emojis
  • Leo: Listened to the same song on repeat 12 hours a day, for over a week, until I could hear the song playing in my dreams
  • Bonus, Coaches + Teachers:
  • Yakov: Some how became the mom friend despite the fact that I can't even take care of myself, "I swear to god if you skip physics oNE MORE TIME", "Do your homework, I know where you sleep", "Oh for fuck's sake, come over to my house, I'm not going to listen to you bitch for weeks because you didn't want to disinfect your cuts"
  • Minako: Was running a high fever during my physics final to the point where I was fading in and out of consciousness, and aced it
  • Lilia: Developed a reputation for having terrifying kicks after I realized that the men in my karate class couldn't hold back their punches if they were too busy avoiding getting nailed in the balls
  • Celestino: Refused to stop smiling and laughing for a full day, actually got kicked out of class because I laughed so much
390 Prompts!!!!

1. “A wedding?”
2. “After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”
3. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”
4. “Are you drunk?”
5. “Are you hitting on her for me?”
6. “Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!”
7. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “You’re wearing two different shoes.”
8. “Are you really taking his side against me?”
9. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
10. “Babe, you have a problem, please, let me help you.”
11. “Be my wife.”
12. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”
13. “BOOM! That oughta show you not to mess with me!”
14. “But the carnival is right down the street! Can we please, please go!?”
15. “Can I kiss you?”
16. “Come back to bed.”
17. “Come on, let’s throw the dice, see what happens.”
18. “Come over here and make me.”
19. “Come with me.”
20. “Could you be happy here with me?”
21. “Crocs? Who hurt you so much in this life?”
22. “Damn. You clean up good.”
23. “Delete that immediately.”
24. “Did I just say that out loud?”
25. “Did I stutter?”
26. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”
27. “Did you hear that?”
28. “Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?”
29. “Do you ever stop eating?”
30. “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”
31. “Do you ever think we should just stop this?”
32. Do you like me? Check yes or no.
33. “Do you need me to get anything from the store?”
34. “Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant?”
35. “Do you think she could have loved me?”
36. “Does he know about the baby?”
37. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
38. “Don’t say that. Not now.”
39. “Don’t say you love me.”
40. “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”
41. “Don’t you ever do that again!”
42. “Either ask her out or I will do it for you!”
43. “Excuse me, I’m terribly lost. Can you help me?”
44. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
45. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
46. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
47. “Frankly, I couldn’t care less.”
48. “Fuck…I feel I’ve been hit by a car.”
49. “Game’s over you son of a bitch! Tell me where she is!”
50. “Give me 5 bucks, I’ll explain later.”
51. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
52. “Go then, leave! See if I care!”
53. “Guess who’s going to be a father?”
54. “H-How long have you been standing there?”
55. “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”
56. “Have I ever lied to you?”
57. “Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”
58. “Have you lost your damn mind!?”
59. “He’s missing, not dead.”
60. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”
61. “Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.”
62. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
63. “His ego is so visible, I can almost watch it grow.”
64. “Hold me back!”
65. “Hold my hand dammit, we gotta make this look convincing!”
66. “How about we put the gun down and let’s talk about this?”
67. “How could anyone be that cruel?”
68. “How dare you!?”
69. “How long has it been?”
70. “I almost lost you.”
71. “I am not losing you again!”
72. “I beat you at Mario Kart and now you’re banishing me to the couch for the night?”
73. “I came here to explain what happened, and I’m not leaving until you listen.”
74. “I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’”
75. “I can manage on my own.”
76. “I can’t… I can’t lose you.”
77. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
78. “I can’t explain right now, but I need you to trust me.”
79. “I can’t get you out of my head.”
80. “I can’t let you do that.”
81. “I can’t start over again.”
82. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
83. “I can’t swim!”
84. “I choose you.”
85. “I could never leave you, I love you too much!”
86. “I did a pregnancy test.”
87. “I didn’t ask for any of this!”
88. “I didn’t know you could cook.” “Oh, trust me I can’t.”
89. “I didn’t know you could sing.”
90. “I didn’t know you were so competitive.”
91. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.”
92. “I didn’t think it was even possible for you to be so intelligent.”
93. “I don’t care what he said, it doesn’t mean jack squat.”
94. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
95. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
96. “I don’t snore, do I?” “Like a chainsaw.”
97. “I don’t want to have a baby.”
98. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
99. “I don’t want to let you down.”
100. “I got you a present.”
101. “I guess I was wrong about you. You’re not so bad after all.”
102. “I had a nightmare about you and just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
103. “I had to see you again.”
104. “I hate you!” “No you don’t.”
105. “I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.”
106. “I just need you to do this one thing for me.”
107. “I just really need to have you here right now.”
108. “I just want this.”
109. “I just want to be alone right now.”
110. “I just wanted you to know that when I picture myself happy… it’s with you.”
111. “I know, but… I love him. You can’t give up on a person you love.”
112. "I know, but he’s your partner for this.”
113. “I know that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”
114. “I love you.” “I know.”
115. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you and – Oh, screw it!”
116. “I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”
117. “I love you for you, don’t you dare think otherwise!”
118. “I love you more than anything in this world… which is why you have to stay here.”
119. “I love you, you asshole.”
120. “I made a mistake.”
121. “I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.”
122. “I may despise you with the burning white hot intensity of a thousand suns, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
123. “I may have… ripped my pants.”
124. “I miss her so damn much, and it’s killing me that she’s gone!”
125. “I need you to forgive me.”
126. “I never believed in soulmates until I met you.”
127. “I never learned how to whistle.”
128. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt!”
129. “I saw you staring at each other, I just wasn’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage.”
130. "I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”
131. “I swear if you weren’t so attractive, I’d have punched you in the face nine times by now.”
132. “I swear it was an accident.”
133. “I swear it was like that when I found it!”
134. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
135. "I think I’m in love with you and that scares me to death.”
136. “I think we need to talk.”
137. “I think we should have another.”
138. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”
139. “I thought you were a dream come true.”
140. “I thought you were dead…”
141. “I trusted you!”
142. “I waited and waited, but you never came back.”
143. “I want my best friend back.”
144. “I want to go back to before….”
145. “I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.”
146. “I wasn’t planning on asking you, but I’ve come to realize that life is short. Will you marry me?”
147. “I wish I could hate you.”
148. “I won’t give up if you won’t.”
149. “I won’t let you fall.”
150. “I-I can’t trust you anymore.”
151. “I’ll be right over.”
152. “I’ll sleep under the sheets, you sleep on top of them.”
153. "I’m flirting with you.”
154. “I’m freezing!”
155. “I’m laughing because you’re angry. I swear I didn’t do it!”
156. “I’m like 20% sure this plan will work. The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly it’s a really solid plan.”
157. “I’m not good enough for you.”
158. “I’m not happy here.”
159. “I’m not surprised that you murdered him.”
160. “I’m not the only one who thinks that.”
161. “I’m only human!”
162. “I’m pregnant.”
163. “I’m sick of being USELESS.”
164. “I’m so happy you’re alive.”
165. “I’m so sorry! I will never doubt you again!”
166. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
167. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
168. “I’m sorry, but I can’t trust you anymore.”
169. “I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m going to marry her.”
170. “I’m sorry, run that by me again.”
171. "I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
172. “I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”
173. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
174. “I’m up to the challenge.”
175. “I’m yours.”
176. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life.”
177. “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
178. “I’ve moved on.”
179. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before… and it scares the shit out of me.”
180. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I can’t see you.”
181. “If he’s going to treat you like shit, I’m going to kick his ass.”
182. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”
183. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
184. “If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”
185. “If my parents knew what I was doing, they’d kill me.”
186. “If this is love, love is easy.”
187. “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”
188. “If you don’t want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don’t just lie and say it’s fine.”
189. “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”
190. “If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life.”
192. “If you walk out right now, it’s over for us.”
193. “If you walk out that door, you’re no longer one of us. You’ll be one of them and that means I’ll treat you like one of them.”
194. “Is… is that even possible? Like, can we do this?”
195. “Is… that my picture in your wallet/as your home screen?”
196. “Is it really you?”
197. “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”
198. “Is that a challenge?”
199. “Is that an apology?”
200. “Is that real?”
201. “Is that what I think it is?”
202. “Is that what you’re doing? Trying to make me to hate you?”
203. “Is there a problem?”
204. “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”
205. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
206. “It could be worse.”
207. “It made a difference to me.”
208. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
209. “It was just a dream.”
210. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”
211. “It’s a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”
212. “It’s all your fault.”
213. “It’s been fun. We’ve had a good run, but you parked in my spot. I’m going to have to kill you now.”
215. “It’s not what it looks like…”
216. “It’s okay, I’m here for you.”
217. “It’s okay to cry…”
218. “Just leave me ALONE.”
219. “Just talk to me!”
220. “Keep your head up.”
221. “Kiss me.”
222. “Let him go! It’s me you want.”
223. “Let me buy you a drink?”
224. “Let’s do something wild and crazy!”
225. “Look at me - just breathe, okay?”
226. “Look at that. I’ve never seen your face get so red.”
227. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”
228. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”
229. “Make a wish.”
230. “Marry me?”
231. “May I have this dance?”
232. “Meet me at midnight. Alone.”
233. “Meet me on the bridge in an hour.”
234. “Meet me on the roof in ten minutes.”
235. “Mind if I cut in?”
236. “My parents asked about you.”
237. “No! I’m tired of doing what you say!”
238. “No one needs to know.”
239. “No one will ever hurt you again.”
240. “None of this makes sense.”
241. “None of that matters now.”
242. “Not a day will go by that I won’t think of you.”
243. “Oh, my God! You’re in love with her!”
244. “Please don’t argue. You have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.”
245. “Please don’t cry.”
246. “Please don’t do this.”
247. “Please, don’t give up on me.”
248. “Please, don’t leave.”
249. “Please listen to me-”
250. “Please say something.”
251. “Please, take me instead!”
252. “Promise me you won’t let anything happen to him.”
253. “Promise me you’ll stay.”
254. “Remember our first date? When you took me to Starbucks and it took me 15 minutes just to choose a flavour of Frappuccino? I was never sure about anything, never. But I was so fucking sure about you!”
255. “Run, and don’t ever look back.”
256. “She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried?”
257. “She’s missing, not dead.”
258. “Shit, are you bleeding?!”
259. “Shopping? Do I have to go?”
260. “Shut up and kiss me.”
261. “Since when do you drive a motorcycle?”
262. “So? It’s not your problem so butt out.”
263. “So, I found this waterfall…”
264. “So there was an accident…”
265. “Somebody’s in love!”
266. “Sorry, I thought I was alone…”
267. “Stop taking pictures! I’m fucking stuck. Be useful and help me!!”
268. “Stop talking about love for a minute and help me with this bullet wound.”
269. “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”
270. “Teach me how to play?”
271. “Tell me a secret.”
272. “Tell me again why I let you convince me that this was even remotely a good idea.”
273. “That came out wrong.”
274. “That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.”
275. “That is not coming in this house!”
276. “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”
277. “The joke’s on them.”
278. “The paint’s supposed to go where?”
279. “The sign said not to push the button, so naturally I had to push it!”
280. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
281. “The three seconds rule doesn’t apply to sticky foods.”
282. “The way you flirt is shameful.”
283. “There are plenty of people out there who love you.” “Yeah, like who?” “Like me.”
284. “There’s no getting out of this. You ruined me.”
285. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
286. “Things don’t always turn out how they should.”
287. “This is… this is somewhere I never imagined I’d be.”
288. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”
289. “This is so going on YouTube!”
290. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”
291. “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”
292. “Time’s up!”
293. “Twins? We’re…we’re having twins?!”
294. “W…Was that you making that noise?”
295. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”
296. “Wait, do you two know each other?”
297. “Wake up! Please, please wake up.”
298. “Walk it off!”
299. “Wanna bet?”
300. "Wanna dance?”
301. “We could be amazing!”
302. “We could’ve had it all.”
303. “We have to pretend to be married.”
304. “We missed our chance.”
305. “We’ll finish it the same way we started it…together.”
306. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?”
307. "Well….don’t keep me waiting”
308. “Well, this is awkward…”
309. “Well, this is where I live.”
310. “What are you afraid of?”
311. “What did I ever done to you?”
312. “What other hidden talents do you have?”
313. “What the hell are you doing here?! I told you I never wanted to see you again!”
314. “What the hell was that?!”
315. “What were you thinking?? Were you trying to get yourself killed?”
316. “When are you going to realize that I don’t care?”
317. “When I come back, that better be exactly where you found it!”
318. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
319. “Where did that cat come from?”
320. “Where did you find this?”
321. “Where did you learn to dance?”
322. “Where were you? Do you have any idea how worried I was?”
323. “Who brought pot brownies to the bake sale?!”
324. “Who gave you that black eye?!”
325. “Who’s gonna stop me? You?”
326. “Why are you baking muffins at three in the morning?”
327. “Why are you covered in mud?”
328. “Why are you dressed like that?”
329. “Why are you lying?”
330. “Why are you up so early?”
331. “Why can’t they see that they’re meant for each other?”
332. “Why can’t you see what you’re doing to me?”
333. “Why choose me?”
334. “Why do I even bother?”
335. “Why don’t they just kiss already?”
336. “Why don’t you say that to my face?”
337. “Why wouldn’t you come to me with your problems?”
338. “Will you just shut up for a moment so I can say something nice to you!”
339. “Will you please just give me a hand?”
340. “You are nothing like them.”
341. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
342. “You better have a good reason for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”
343. “You braided his hair?”
344. “You broke what?!”
345. “You came back!”
346. “You can trust me.”
347. “You can’t just sit on the sidelines your whole life!”
348. “You can’t leave me in the dark. You have to tell me these things.”
349. "You can’t protect me.”
350. “You deserve so much better.”
351. “You did all of this for me?”
352. “You did this for me?”
353. “YOU DID WHAT?!”
354. “You didn’t tell me it was karaoke night…”
355. “You don’t have to stay.”
356. “You don’t know you the way I do.”
357. “You don’t need to protect me.”
358. “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
359. “You got her pregnant?! What were you thinking?”
360. “You had me at ‘free pizza!’”
361. “You have no idea what I’ve done for you.”
362. “You have the most amazing eyes.”
363. “You have to make a choice.”
364. “You have to remember!”
365. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
366. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”
367. “You know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice.”
368. “You know my name?”
369. “You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with him…”
370. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
371. “You lied to me!”
372. ″You look beautiful.”
373. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
374. “You need to leave. Right now.”
375. “You need to let her go.”
376. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
377. “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”
378. “You say the nastiest things when you’re angry, so yes, I’m walking away from you now.”
379. “You shouldn’t have even been there!”
380. “You walked away. Not me.”
381. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
382. “You’ll be the death of me.”
383. “You’re hiding something from me.”
384. “You’re my one exception.”
385. “You’re not alone.”
386. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
387. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”
388. “You’re too good for me.”
389. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
390. “You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked mine.”

anonymous asked:

Why do you think straight people are terrible? I mean, I'm bisexual too, fighting hate with hate is very rarely the right way to go.

ah yes. my hate for straight people. my hate that gets them killed in clubs and murdered in alleys for being straight. my hate that prevents them from marrying the ones they love because theyre straight. my hate that prevents them from getting and keeping jobs because theyre straight. my hate that prevents them from using their respective bathrooms. ah yes. that awful hate i have. poor them. ? do u see how ridiculous this sounds. man no one gets more sensitive than straights when a queer makes a damn joke at their expense cause its not like we have persecution for who we are but w/e call it hate if it helps u sleep.

Dex gets up when Lardo throws her stuffed walrus at him. “Dex. I am going to sleep. Turn off the light.”

He has been sitting for so long his legs have cramped. When he stands up he staggers.

He switches off the light and gently closes Lardo’s door. It’s going to be his door next year. His and Nursey’s. Dex feels sick at the thought. 

He checks his phone. A bunch of chirping about the dibs flip in the team chat. A single message from Chowder.

Call me when you get this.

Keep reading

how your sign deals with issues

im gonna fucking murder the bitch that gave me these issues: SCORPIO, Aquarius, Aries, Leo

uh.. well i guess i should ask someone to deal with them for me: Taurus, cancer, VIRGO

im too cute to have issues lmao: LIBRA, Capricorn, Sagittarius

im gonna pretend i have no issues and then cry myself to sleep bc im so emotionally fucked up haha: GEMINI, Pisces

I firmly believe that there is no reason for Nygmobblepot NOT to happen.

Yes, of course both of them have done terrible things to each other, but this is Gotham and they are villains. So hear me out…

Gotham could have done THIS ENTIRE PLOT without writing in Oswald’s romantic feelings. If the scenes towards the end of 3x05 and 3x06 were written without Oswald realizing he was in love, things still could have ended up the same way.

Oswald would still be jealous of Isabella taking Ed’s time away from him. He still would have confronted her when Ed asked him to, it just would have been as protecting his chief of staff not his boyfriend. He would have arguably been MORE suspicious of her looking like Kristen since he wasn’t clouded by romantic jealousy. It all still would have ended in Isabella’s murder. Instead of Oswald having her brake lines cut, which is clearly a crime of passion, maybe he would drowned her in the bay I don’t know…

This is not a flawless argument and no matter what happens with Nygmobblepot by the end of this season I am SO HAPPY THEY MADE OSWALD’S ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR ED CANON. It was an amazing character development and SO important.


Gotham chose to include Oswald’s love for Ed, and I think that’s beautiful. I also think the writers should have some sort of endgame for the two relationship wise seeing as they have put so much into it already.

Also, there is NO WAY those feelings are one sided I’m onto you Edward Nygma you’re not slick. ;)

Feel free to add to this…

A/N: A small headcannon..ish. Also I’m enjoying writing for batfam. If any of you have any ideas or just wanna talk batfam hit up my ask!

Some nights when Bruce couldn’t sleep and he already had done all the paper work for the day he would go to the living room and watch tv.

He would watch crappy movies but he also enjoyed the horror ones it reminded him when Jason watched them because he insisted they didn’t scare him at all although he usually end up hiding half of his body underneath Bruce’s.

Now Jason only comes to the Manor when Bruce wasn’t there mainly to speak with Alfred. 

That particular night Jason thought Bruce wasn’t home so imagine the look on his face when he first saw him. “You can come sit Jason. I haven’t seen you in awhile”

Suddenly Jason felt like he was 10 years old again. Of course, at first he didn’t take up Bruce’s offer.

“The wife did it you know“ He said nodding at the tv. 

“I think it was the daughter“ Bruce replied.

It became a weekly thing, neither of them spoke about it but both were always there at the same place at the same time watching the same murder mystery tv show. 

The first person who noticed was Tim due to his lack of sleep, but he didn’t say anything. (part of it was because he thought he was dreaming)

After a couple of weeks went by he couldn’t help but to join them and to Jason’s surprise he agreed with him most of the time.

Bruce not so secretly liked seeing them get along so well. Then, it came Damian to even things out. He of course agreed with Bruce most of the time making Tim and Jason roll their eyes.

Next thing you know the whole family was there and Stephanie made sure Saturday was their official marathon day.

They viewed a couple of episodes in which the butler had commited the crime, the latest by poisining the family.

“Snacks, anyone?” Alfred asked with a smile on his face.

Damian glared at him suspiciously.

myrrhbearer  asked:

I WANT TO KNOW about any times Iron and February have met in the past. Duels, threats, tense talks, ANYTHING I'm desperate for this ship

(happy galentine’s day!)

i. She writes with her left hand so she can hold a gun under the table with her right.

ii.  When she plays chess it’s three strategies, three pieces left, three consecutive wins.

iii.  And she plays chess like she has lead an army.

iv. She has a scar over her left breast from the only time she ever died. It is shaped like a sword pointing at her sternum.

v.  She is vain, but she is not stupid. She finds strength in numbers and her lackeys are never far. Neither are yours, though. It’s always the ruins of the Forgotten Quarter or the rooftops. She does have a penchant for dramatics.

vi. She is silver. The gleam of her satin dress, and the gleam of her rapier. You aren’t fooled, you know she is the kind to bring a derringer to a swordfight. Her gloves are white leather, and they are always immaculate.

vii. “Maybe today I’ll find what it takes to kill one of your kind, huh?” She doesn’t want to know.

viii. “Cat got your tongue? Oh right.” Her smile is sharper than any blade. “You can use my hand to answer me, if you’d like.” The pen is sharp, cuts through her skin and blood and ink mix together. She has a burn on her shoulder from the time you forgot what language you were writing in. Or maybe you didn’t forget.

ix. Her rapier is ridiculously sturdy and takes the blows from your sword -a memory from the fourth city- with grace. Her hand is always close to a fold in her jacket, you don’t doubt she is perfectly able to shoot if she finds herself losing. Or if she gets bored.

x. You have just learnt that she can hold a rapier with either hand, and the change is unnoticeable. She always shoots with her right.

xi. Of course a shot will not kill you. It takes more than that. But it’s enough to make you buckle. She helps you stand in her arms and snorts. “Well that was fun.” She says. Her lips press against the cold surface of the mask. “But I’ve already got what I came here for.”

xii. She always carries a knife with her too, for good measure. It’s traditional in this sport, after all.

xiii. You blood flows into a crystal vial she holds in her left hand. “Ah Iron, my sweet, I can’t wait for you to see what this will buy me. But I don’t wan’t to spoil the surprise.” She stands, leaving you behind. “Isn’t the night lovely?”

xiv. The silver of her rapier is streaked with dark blood. As is the silver of her satin gown. But the white glove on her left hand, and the white glove on her right hand, those remain immaculate.

[if you like my writing consider buying me a coffee? your girl works night shifts ;u;]

SJM characters as things my sister has said

Aelin: I’d enjoy watching them burn too.
Chaol: I can’t really look closely I’m kinda blind.
Manon: we could look forward to people dying.
Rhysand: I may be crazy but at least I’ve never REALLY killed a man. Well there were those bikers.
Feyre: I could get up and get food or staycin bed and sleep. Sleep it is.
Dorian: whats great is shes the one planning her fathers murder.
Rowan: ooohhh they’re probably crispy mmmm.
Cassian: and two of each of those would be a full course meal for a family. A family of just me.
Azriel: cereal is good but I’d rather be a serial killer.
Amren: I’d sleep with him. But only if he paid me. In chicken nuggets.
Mor: like haha kill my family.
Elide: hes a psychopath but I think hes hot.
Lorcan: I could kill you but that would take alot of energy and I’d rsther just nap.

Since people really seemed to like the saga of Olaf Olafson, I’m gonna tell you guys about one of my own characters, Brenan the Punch Wizard.

My friend was running a Dragonlance game back in college, and I jumped at the chance to not have to DM for once. I ended up rolling up a Neutral Good farmboy mage whose proclivity for magic was discovered relatively late (like… late teens) and so compared to the other wizards he was a total hayseed who knew fuckall about the theory of magic. His familiar was an his old farm dog ffs. An Australian Shepherd with a red neckercheif.

Well, he passed his test and became a White Robes mage (as you do when you’re not a shithead) and started going on more frequent adventures. Brenan quickly established himself as a pretty excellent hard-counter to enemy meatheads, with his suite of nonlethal spells targeting their usually weaker Will save. He was a good kid. He really didn’t want to kill anybody. We took a lot of prisoners with Brenan around.

Eventually, though, we started running into the Plot, which meant- among other things -running into a lot of Evil Wizards. Their Will saves were usually pretty damn high and so there was little chance of catching them with Sleep or Charm Person or the like. But almost all the spells that targeted their Fort save were kinda brutal, and the Reflex saves weren’t much better. He could counter-spell them sometimes, but not always, and it didn’t solve the problem, really. Just put the onus of murder on our Solamnic knight, running up and stabbing the cackling Black Robes with a huge fuckoff sword. That wasn’t very satisfactory, either. What’s a near-pacifist to do? Fireball?  Finger of Death? It was a dilemma.

Until Brenan picked up a null-magic zone spell. I can’t remember the name of it. But you cast it, and for a fairly sizable area, nobody could cast any spells. The enemy mages and clerics would start to fret, but they felt secure at least that Brenan was equally screwed.

Only, he was a farm boy. With a Str of 16 and a feat in Unarmed combat.

By the time that campaign ended, Brenan had personally captured over a dozen renegade Black Robes and dragged them back to the Tower for judgment. They hated and feared him- most of all because he didn’t even have the decency to kill them. No- every last one of the world-bending megalomaniacal sorcerers he defeated had to live with the knowledge that they’d been beaten by a farm boy prodigy and his mean right hook.

One man tents aren’t meant for sharing

I wanted to write bed sharing. So I did. 

Smut ahoy.

3k words-ish

One man tents aren’t meant for sharing. Neither are sleeping bags. Too bad they don’t have any choice…

On FF.NET and AO3

Killian Jones’ rather bony elbow dug into Emma’s back. Wincing, she scowled then retaliated by shoving her icy cold right foot backwards until it was wedged between his bare legs, causing him to mutter profanities under his breath.

Today was such a fucking mess. She was cold, tired and mentally drained from an afternoon of drudging through the forest with… him .

“Swan…” he groaned, the low timbre of his voice cutting right through her body making her gut clench.

“Keep your arms to yourself, buddy,” she snapped, her frown growing deeper.

“Gladly,” he quipped, flopping dramatically onto his stomach. The extra-large sleeping bag that housed the pair lurched in his direction, spinning her onto her back and somehow wedging her arm beneath him.

“Urgh!” she cried, tugging herself free, thanking God and all the stars that the man was at least wearing an undershirt.

He turned his head. Though it was late, it was summer and the night sky still provided enough illumination to see his expression: a smug grin combined with raised eyebrows.

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anonymous asked:

so I've been thinking about this a little bit but we all know HYDRA was in SHIELD. Maybe they didn't have the strength or rank to outright kill any of the avengers, the most likely form of resistance to them, so what if the seeds of the civil war were planted much, much before anyone realised it? what if HYDRA had just enough control to not let Steve see anything they didn't want him to, to break a friendship and a team before it had the chance to form. maybe. (tree anon)

OOOOOOOOH FUCK IT UP TREE ANON I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT UNTIL NOW OH W OW I MEAN THAT WOULD BE PERFECTLY PLAUSIBLE like all it would need was a few well placed agents. Talking about how ‘Stark can’t handle anything about his parents, you should have seen him when I mentioned his old man at briefing yesterday’ in front of Steve, and suddenly the idea of him talking to Tony about the person who actively murdered his family? Not quite such a good idea. 

And maybe a few bad missions, here and there; carefully orchestrated to make sure that Tony and Steve had differing opinions on the subject matter. Not enough to tear them apart, as such, but enough to form the cracks.

And once that cracks appear, all you need is time.
Well- time, and maybe a catalyst.

So they use what they know. Tony lives, breathes, eats and sleeps guilt for his actions. So you kill a kid, and then plant the seed in his momma’s head that Tony was responsible? Voila.

The rest just falls apart on it’s own, really.

Hi, here’s me trying to write Drarry

“au where harry james potter has a youtube channel in which he tells story times about himself and shit that happens with him and bam one day he and Draco Beauty Guru Malfoy collaborate: Harry tells a story time while Draco does his make up”- @saintdrarry

Harry James Potter started his youtube channel at the age of 18, when he moved out of the Dursley’s and into an old London mansion he inherited from his late godfather.

  • He goes to uni for European History (he wants to be a professor because he’s a neeeeerd) .
  • His first video- “Welcome to this Grim-old Place!”
  • Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, and Ginny are constantly in his “daily” vlogs
    • Tbh he’s shit at being daily, it’s mainly when he can be bothered to go outside
  • He loves to walk around the city with his dogs, Hedwig (a Samoyed), and Padfoot (a Great Dane-also called a boarhound)
  • Often, they go to a small bookshop owned by Xenophilius Lovegood (who always lets animals in) and read for hours
  • He likes to put glasses on his dogs while the lay down and drool over “doggy books” (chew toys in the shape of books) and Instagram it
  • He likes to walk around the house and make up stories about the Blacks, and then ends them all by looking at the camera, very seriously, and saying, “Their ghosts will murder me in my sleep, I’m Sirius, goodnight.”

  • Often, though, he just makes videos at the end of the day telling about his life.
  • His best videos are the drunk ones at all the youtube parties-or the ones when he’s home alone
    • An excerpt from one such video, where he is sitting on a desk chair backwards-”you guys, i gotta be honest with you. Boys are hot as fucK
      • He fell off the chair during that last word
  • The channel gains popularity, and he has like 4 million subs by the time he turns 20
  • His most watched video (with like 15 mil views!!) is “My Coming Out Story
    • The Thumbnail is of him and Ginny sitting on his bed
    • The description is, “Hi im not gay. Im not straight. Im certainly not dating Ginny. Yes, I used to. No, I don’t have an s/o atm.
    • Luna pops up about 30 seconds in, kisses Ginny for 10 seconds while Harry very awkwardly looks at the camera, and then leaves with Ginny.
    • Newsflash: he’s bi af.
  • His second most watched video is about his mum and dad, and everyone cries watching it.
    • They died protecting him in an attempted robbery from a gang when he was very little
    • He also talks about Sirius and Remus
    • Sirius died by being killed by a gang member (after spending 12 years in prison for “being one”
    • Remus died from Cancer
  • Another video is where Luna, Ginny, and Hermione do his hair and choose his wardrobe for a daily vlog
    • He lost a bet
    • His hair is long, so Hermione puts it in a french braid and ties it up in a messy bun
    • They then spend a few minutes talking about how Hermione’s coarse hair has a different care process
    • Ginny chooses an orange button up shirt and faded dungarees for the outfit
    • Luna just elects to put glitter/stick-on jewels on Harry’s face because, she says, it will really pop on his dark skin
  • After that video they film a vlog in which they go to the London Zoo, which is quite near Grimmauld Place
  • Harry really likes the glitter, so he searched Youtube for makeup tutorials and found the one, the only, Draco Malfoy
  • While watching his videos, Harry always notices how clean his workspace was
    • Harry’s house was constantly a mess, but he always cleaned on Sundays-he really did!
  • Also, Malfoy was cold, hardly ever expressing emotion
  • He was brutally honest and loved a challenge
    • Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson (two other beauty gurus) often pop up in his videos
  • Malfoy has one video up about the racist comments he receives for his friends being, well, not white
    • He rants for 15 minutes about how real MUA’s should be able to do makeup on all people, not just white people
  • Apparently, Malfoy has his own line of makeup, called, of course, “Malfoy”
  • All of his videos were makeup related, but his other social media (what no, Harry didn’t stalk) shows his normal life-perfectly pristine and flawless in every way, with a hint of crude humor on Tumblr
  • He was never seen in public without a full face of makeup; his eyeliner could cut a bitch.
  • He didn’t have any pets, but his parents owned an estate with peacocks and horses
    • Draco had a Friesian called Atticus (After Atticus Finch, of course)
    • Anyways, Draco lives in London as well and goes to uni for English
  • One day, Harry emails Draco asking if he wants to collab.
    • This was after weeks of obsessing and multiple friends yelling at him to “just find the boy and snog him”
  • Technically, Ron and Hermione wrote and sent the email
  • When Draco reads it, his heart stops
    • Wow who knew that Draco had been low-key obsessed with Harry the whole time?
    • I did. I’m the author
    • Also, you did. This is a cliche and I am loVING IT
    • Anyways, back to the story.
  • He immediately calls Pansy and yells at her to go to his flat
    • They spend 20 minutes crafting the perfect respons
  • 3 days later, a bare-faced Draco Lucius Malfoy shows up on Harry James Potter’s front doorstep. 
  • He steps in, and Harry offers a cuppa
  • He accepts, and they talk for almost two hours before starting to film.
  • Draco sets up his makeup and hair stuff on a desk next to the camera, and has Harry sit down on a stool opposite his own
  • Harry decides he’s going to talk about his godson, Teddy, and tells Draco so
  • Draco just stares at Harry for about two minutes before bursting out laughing and informing Harry that Teddy is his cousin
  • Eventually, they start filming.
  • Draco decided a long time ago that Harry would be golden, and makes him up that way-from bright eyelids to shiny cheekbones
    • His lips were a matte brown nude with a shimmer on them
  • In the meantime, Harry chattered on about his bus ride with Teddy and how the kid’s hair was bright red, and it almost seemed pink in the sun
  • When they were done, Harry saw how he looked and gasped
    • “Don’t you dare cry, Potter, you’ll ruin everything”
  • After they turned off the camera, Harry worked up the courage to ask Draco out
  • Draco, of course, said yes, and kissed Harry softly on the mouth
    • “Oi, you’ll mess up my makeup” “The lipstick is special, it’s made to stay on. Anyways, I can always do it again.”

They then lived happily ever after goodnight.

5 times Thomas slept on the couch, and 1 time they slept there together (JeffMads, 3.6k)

written for the wonderful and very sweet @softburr who deserves all the nice things in the world. i hope u like it buddy.


“Ha ha! Suck it,” Thomas yells, shaking his fist in the air, eyes alight with victory.  James glares at him, eye twitching. “I’m the winner and you’re the loser, I’m the best and you’re the worst, I’m-” Thomas gets cut off in the middle of his little song and dance by James throwing the controller at his head.

“You’re sleeping on the couch tonight,” he says flatly, and then gets up to take a long bath and calm down.

“But Jemmy!” Thomas calls after him, “You can’t just abandon me in the middle of a Mario Kart tournament! Baby?”

James ignores him, slamming the door of the bathroom shut behind him. Fucking Thomas and his fucking long thumbs and his fucking dirty cheating tactics. Taking off his shirt had one hundred percent been a calculated stratagem to distract James and he’s angry at himself beyond belief for letting it work.

Fucking Mario Kart. James is going to passive aggressively hide all the Wii games in the apartment so they never have to play that damn game again. He hopes that Thomas gets a crick in his neck from sleeping on the couch, that fucker.

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I’m currently reading Thud!

There is this talk between Vimes and Vetinari which is FULL of touching moments and ITS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL

“What would you do if I asked you an outright question, Vimes?”
“I’d tell you a downright lie, sir.”
“The I will not do so,” said Vetinari, smiling faintly.

Then they proceed to communicate through Looks which is
He gave Vetinari a look that said: If you take this any further, I will have to lie.
Vetinari returned one that said: I know.
“You yourself are not too badly injured?” the Patrician said aloud.
“Just a few scratches, sir,” said Vimes.
Vetinari gave him a look that said: Broken ribs, I’m certain of it.
Vimes returned one that said: Nothing.

And then Vetinari throws compliments at him left and right like “Sam Vimes once arrested a dragon. Sam Vimes once arrested two armies to stop a war. Sam Vimes once arrested ME. He is an arresting fellow. Sam Vimes cannot be bribed, cannot be corrupted, he keeps digging until he has the truth!”
Vimes is like ??
And Vetinari: “… that’s what the people out there are saying. This is why you need to find the murderer.”
Like, sure, Havelock.
It just becomes beautifully clear that Vetinari, in a way, ADMIRES Vimes. Definitely respects him.

Made even clearer by the next part:
“But if his death can be turned into a casus belli-” here Lord Vetinari looked at Vimes’s sleepy eyes and went on, “-that is, to a reason for war, then suddenly he is the most important dwarf in the world. When did you last get some proper sleep, Vimes?”
Vimes muttered something about ‘not long ago.’
“Go and have some more. And then find me the murderer. Quickly. Good day to you.”
Vetinari KNOWS Vimes can translate casus belli. But he sees that the man is dead on his feet and TRANSLATES IT out of CONSIDERATION
And then he is worried that he isn’t getting enough SLEEP


Every scene these two have together is BRILLIANT and BEAUTIFUL

(look at me, i typed practically the whole scene here lmfao
But literally all of it is SO! IMPORTANT!
I just need to have it on my blog I NEED EVERYONE TO SEE IT

“God damn Marco, if I’d known I’d be playin’ doctor for a fuckin’ dog I would of never of agreed to spend the night at your place…!”

He heard Jean exclaim with an exasperated sigh following suit, and a sudden weight at his side to as the punk leaned on him, obviously just as exhausted as he was to.

“You still would have come- and hey it’s not like I knew my dog would be having her puppies tonight.”

Marco countered with a small playful push with his shoulder against the lanky male at his side, only earning an unhappy grumble from Jean before he felt even more weight against his side.

“Besides, you did a good job with the puppies.”

Especially since the punk took it upon himself to take so many pictures of the puppies on Snapchat and doodle little pictures on them to catalog which puppies were boys or girls.

“Especially a lot better then with that pet goldfish you had as a kid- I still can’t believe you actually took him out of the fishbowl to give him a ‘tour’ of your house.”

Marco couldn’t help but tease Jean about it, though he quickly earned a quick jab to his side and a somewhat snappy.

“At least I’m not the one who let their god get knocked up.”


“At least I’m not the one who murdered a goldfish.”

He playfully shot back, earning a loud groan and a snappy.

“Shut the fuck up freckles!”

To which Marco let out a soft snort of laughter and leaned his own weight into Jean and sighed in mild content.

“Well…We’re proud puppy parents now huh? Wanna name them?”

“I want to go to sleep.”


A super special gift for @ding-dong-diddly-dick !!! I PROMISED YOU ART NOW HERE IT IS!!

Based off a scene from a wonderful RP we have going on, both of them are high school students on the baseball team and Jean’s spending the night with Marco before their first big game only for both boys to spend most of the night helping Marco’s dog give birth to puppies!

And yes, Marco’s dog is an Blue heeler because how could I not give a spotty boy a spotty dog?

I want to see a fanfic where Harry hatches a basilisk.

I want to see a fanfic where he looks up “magical snakes” as soon as he gets to Hogwarts because that thing at the zoo always bugged him, and so the Trio works out that it’s a basilisk immediately after the first petrification in Second Year. But they don’t know how it’s getting around or where it is or anything, so Harry is just like WELP SET A BASILISK TO FIND A BASILISK while Hermione and Ron are like HARRY NO.

I want to see a fanfic where Harry sticks a chicken egg under a toad and makes all these plans about how he’ll talk to his huge deadly snake and get it eye-blinkers and shit so it doesn’t kill people and make sure it’s not too aggressive, and somehow it never occurs to his twelve-year old brain that the chicken egg has a total volume of about four tablespoons and he is not going to get the giant King of Serpents he is expecting.

I want to see a fanfic where it finally breaks out of the shell and Harry finds himself with a bb!basilisk too smol to even have the murder-eyes yet, who can only petrify someone for about half an hour before the effect wears off. She eats spiders and gets tired very easily and demands that he wear a hood she can curl up in and sleep.

(She is also the same vivid green as his eyes and already hideously venomous, but doesn’t like using her fangs because she says they get cold and give her brain freeze when she unsheathes them.)

I just… I really want Harry with a haughty, demanding, arrogant danger noodle who has an overinflated sense of her own importance, views Hedwig as a TERRIFYING MENACE because she isn’t big enough to eat owls yet and keeps up a steady stream of insults hissed in Harry’s ear whenever she’s near someone who has a Dark Mark (which she can sense at close range). And who is basically useless as a familiar because she refuses to slither across anything other than sun-warmed stones or Harry, hasn’t got a very powerful gaze yet and doesn’t like biting people.

(Except snake-arm-people. She finds snake-arm-people confusing and annoying, and would probably make an exception on the no-biting thing where they’re concerned.)

101 Things Meat Eaters Say to Vegans
  1. It’s the food chain
  2. Where do you get your protein from, HA?
  3. If we weren’t meant to eat animals then why are they so tasty?
  4. Don’t you know that we’re omnivores?
  5. Lions kill Zebras in the wild
  6. Vegetables have feelings too you know
  7. You kill ants when you walk
  8. Each to their own
  9. It’s natural, so there
  10. Everything in moderation
  11. The animals have to die sometime
  12. Cows will take over the planet if we don’t control them
  13. Jesus ate fish
  14. The Dalai Lama eats animals
  15. You only live once
  16. I knew a vegan once and he was sick
  17. Vegans are extreme
  18. Don’t tell me what to do
  19. We’ve been doing it since the beginning of time
  20. But worms eat our bodies when we die, so why is it OK for them?
  21. It’s the circle of life
  22. Cows are stupid
  23. You can’t save all the animals
  24. You can’t save the world
  25. Where do you get your B12?
  26. You can’t eat plants all day
  27. It’s not murder it’s slaughter
  28. But Bacon!
  29. We can’t digest grass
  30. It’s OK, they were bred for consumption
  31. Soy is genetically modified
  32. There’s not enough room on the planet to produce vegetables for everyone
  33. I’m allergic to Tofu
  34. Where do you get your Omega 3 from?
  35. If you were in the jungle you’d kill an animal to stay alive
  36. We’re predators
  37. What if you killed a pig with your car, then it would be OK to eat it?
  38. We’re animals
  39. It’s great that you’re vegan, but I couldn’t do it.
  40. Chickens won’t survive in the wild, releasing them is cruel
  41. Fish aren’t animals
  42. You’re not vegan! Spiders crawl into your mouth when you sleep
  43. Don’t eat the food’s food
  44. Plants can feel pain
  45. What about all the hungry kids in Africa?
  46. What about all the child slaves in China?
  47. You’re laptop has an ingredient in it that’s bad for the environment and you still use it
  48. Is your belt vegan?, what about your wallet, aha!
  49. We’re doing the animals a favour, nobody wants to be in those conditions
  50. The legal definition of murder does not include animals, so it’s fine
  51. I know you’re right, but I love meat
  52. They would eat you if they could
  53. I will never change
  54. Going vegan doesn’t change anything
  55. Well I only eat very little meat/ cheese/ eggs, none at all really
  56. Foie gras: You can’t taste the cruelty
  57. I know, I know,but you don’t think about that (in response to animal farming conditions)
  58. In a survival situation I would stay alive because I can eat people
  59. It’s wrong for children to throw stones at the ducks, but it’s perfectly fine to shoot them
  60. We bless the animals before we eat them, so we appreciate their death
  61. I’m grateful for the sacrifice the animal made for me
  62. Humane slaughter is OK
  63. It’s evolution man
  64. Meat gave us big brains
  65. What about Eskimos, they’d starve without meat!
  66. Vegans are weak
  67. Vegans are always tired
  68. Vegans fart more
  69. You’ll have weak bones
  70. What do you eat, grass?
  71. Hitler was a vegetarian
  72. You kill vegetables
  73. Why do you love animals but hate people?
  74. Veganism is like religion
  75. Vegans eat rabbit food
  76. Tofu is disgusting
  77. I tried going vegan once but I didn’t feel well
  78. What do you do in the winter when vegetables don’t grow mmmmmm?
  79. I’d rather eat meat and be happy then eat grass and be depressed!
  80. You’re vegan, GREAT more for me, haha
  81. But I don’t want to give up dairy!
  82. The animals are happy in the farms
  83. If you don’t milk the cows they’ll explode
  84. Do you want one? oh I forgot you can’t eat that.
  85. Vegans die as well you know
  86. I couldn’t be vegan I want to taste “EVERYTHING”
  87. I could never give up cheese
  88. I’m totally against animal cruelty (as they eat a steak)
  89. If we let the cows all live they will produce too much methane and poison the atmosphere
  90. Wait, Gorillas are Vegan, I think you made a mistake!
  91. Who would you rather save your sister or a cow?
  92. You can’t build muscle on a vegan diet
  93. Vegans are skinny
  94. Some people HAVE to eat meat, it’s their blood type or something, that’s SCIENCE!
  95. What else are the animals going to do?
  96. It must be so awkward for you when you go out
  97. Raising your kids vegan is child abuse
  98. The animals don’t feel anything, they stun them and then slice their throats, it’s fine
  99. Save animals eat a Vegan, LOL
  100. You need meat for energy
  101. Canine teeth! 
  • Ray: Okay, listen carefully. All we have to do is stay quiet and sneak past them. No smashing or murdering.
  • Zack: But how can I-
  • Ray: No
  • Zack: but murdering is-
  • Ray: No
  • Zack: but-
  • Ray: For everything in gods name, just stay quiet and don't kill anyone.
  • Zack: *smirks* but aren't I your go-
  • Ray: Finish that sentence and I will personally drag you to Cathy's floor.
  • Zack: *shuts up in 3 seconds flat*