Hello, sometimes I feel like I will never get over my depression. I've been depressed for over five years now. I go to counseling, I see a psychiatrist, I take my medication, but I feel like no matter what I try I always think life is going to end in suicide for me. Maybe not anytime soon but eventually. I get so pessimistic and wonder what is the point of life? I am a Christian and I know I'm hurting God by feeling this way, like I'm not appreciating the life He gave me. I don't know whattodo?
Hello Love. I am so sorry that you have to live like this. I’ve seen the results of long-term depression before, and I would never want that for you. I don’t know how to help you feel better in the moment, but there are a few things that I do know-
1. God is good through the pain and there is joy in the midst of suffering. The love of the Lord is steadfast throughout our lives regardless of our circumstances. Even if it may not always feel like it, God is present with you in the depths of grief. He takes that burden on himself bears it alongside you. The point of life is this- God loves you and gave himself up for you. He didn’t say our lives would be painless, or even easy in any way, but he did say that we would never be alone.
Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you. Psalm 33
2. You impact more lives than you know. I am 100% sure that there are people that love you deeply and want you to be there with them. Recently, a student at my college was killed at a track meet (you can see it on the news most likely). The entire campus is grieving right now. I didn’t know him personally, but it was still painful for me. Students that did know him in any way or form are just crushed. He probably had no idea that the people who sit around him in classes would sob at his funeral, but his life/death impacted every single person in this community. Your life is so much more valuable than you believe. You have so much worth to the people around you and your life is so beautiful.
3. This not your end. Jesus is your savior, the resurrection and the life. This pain is not who you are. This pain is not all of your story. This pain is not all there is. You will have joy again. You will be made new. Pain is not our end, but a means of getting there.
So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. In that day, you will ask nothing of me. Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of my Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full. John 16
Praying for you always!