i will miss you:(

Warum bist du nur gegangen? Du hast mich allein gelassen als ich dich am meisten brauchte. Wie gern würde ich jetzt deine Stimme hören, du mich aufbaust und mich einfach in den Arm nimmst und sagst, dass wir das schaffen und alles wieder gut wird.
—  vergewissern
2

okay so today was pretty GREAT 

I finally got to meet one of my absolute fave human beings in the entire world and he was the sweetest and most beautiful sunshine ever 

I honestly love this man more than anything and to finally meet him irl was just unbelievably emotional, I don’t think it’s completely sunk in yet

(please excuse my face and my hair, i was NOT prepared for meeting the most beautiful person to ever walk this earth today so I look like a complete mess, but that’s okay because I have finally met Gregor and I couldn’t be happier)

6

“And I want people to feel that even as the show ends, we see Booth and Brennan walking off, and they’re changed people, but you want to have that feeling that yes, they’re still going to be out there, and they’re still going to be solving cases and making the world a better place, even if you’re not going to see them anymore. They’re still joking and laughing in the car, having their differences and having those playful fights they have. You really hope that’s still going on when you don’t see it. It’s certainly bittersweet not to be able to see them again, but just to feel that they’re all in a good place and they’re going to be okay. And you as a viewer are going to be okay, too.” - Michael Peterson

Since we’re at the end and I’ve never really been a part of a fandom before I wanted to take a moment because I have too many feelings.

Shoutout to each and every one of my followers first and foremost. Thank you all for taking an interest in my blog; I never dreamed I’d have so many of you :) 

I tried to say a little something for everyone I tagged but for those of you I didn’t, just fill it in that your blog is awesome, you’re awesome, and people should follow you.

A-F

@anationofthieves  ​I know you’re not active rn but I loved all your posts and your gorgeous gifsets   that I’ll probably never be able to do haha 

@candlewindsI live to read your anon replies and your tags and your gifsets

@captain-flintThe very first Sails blog I followed and the Queen of Gifsets. <3 

@crucifythenburn​ (Trinity) I heart your shining personality on tumblr and your incredible Silverflint fic I Will Try To Fix You which everyone and their mother’s sister should be reading

@char7​ (Charley) <3  A gal after my own heart. I swear our brains are wired together; I agree with most everything she says about Sails and politics RPJ and everything else we’ve ever chatted about. And your sense of humor is fantastic

@dimplesflint​ (Mer) We are relatively new mutuals but I’ve followed you since your pianka days. Your Flint gifsets are positively scrumptous and thank you so much for commenting on a couple of my fics on AO3!! It meant a lot.

@ellelan(Elle) BS CATS FOREVER! You inspired me to make the Flint/Ginger Cat post, the first of several. So much fun. You’re such a great personality and the fandom wouldn’t be the same without your beautiful edits and words of wisdom (and your naughty thoughts for fics >:)  

@flinthamiltonStill one of the best Sails blogs and will always be near and dear to my shipper heart. Your gifsets and metas about James and Thomas are just amazing. You are sweet and kind in conversations and you even bother to reblog my things   

@flintsredhair​ (Meg) MEG!! I heart Meg. She is a superbly talented Flinthamilton writer and my favorite Flinthamilton writer. I feel like I can chat with her about all things James/Thomas. I don’t know how you keep pumping out so many great stories but keep it up!

@flintstruestlove Another recent mutual but since you jumped in here with nothing but a passion for James/Thomas AND  you make gifsets of seasons and things I haven’t seen forever, of course you make the list :)

@fmwisWe’ve never spoken I don’t think but you have faithfully reblogged literally every single Flint-related edit I’ve ever done?!?! Thank you!

G-L

@jadedbirch I think we’ve circled each other forever on here before we became mutuals lol. You are by far one of my fave personalities on here; you’re very easy going and I love that. And don’t forget whose idea the whole porn police thing was! ;)

@jamesemcgraw

@igotlover

@krimsnkramsart I love your style and somehow you come up with the sweetest James pairing drawings <3

@koryuoftheriverflow

@lady-eleanor-vane <3 You are so super sweet and a friendly person no matter what! Thanks for taking an interest in me and my blog 

M-S

@Maria (musemm)What can I say? You and shinmaya were so welcoming to me when I was a noob on here and gave me exposure. We both shared our love of Billy/Flint, and even though that hasn’t worked out, we’ve had many, many conversations about all kinds of things and I heart you; you’ve inspired my writing so much you don’t even know. *gives you a big fat wet kiss*

@magess

@mirandaabarlow The first person I’ve chatted with about Anne Rice on here. :) And oc your Sails gifs are Pretties I love to reblog

@mynameisjohnsilver 

@ohflintYour silverflint edits are absolutely stunning and full of heart at the same time  

@oftheranger

@old-long-john EEE I love your Silverflint fics!!!

@queenevangeline

@primal–scream​ (Lisa) I love your fics too and our funny ramblings on tumbles

@prouvaireafterdark

@rufferto9

@sagestreetEEEE SAGE! I must gush over your Black Sails painting/analysis posts; the fandom wouldn’t be the same without them!!! Also we’ve shared several convos about all kinds of things, serious and not so serious and I’m so glad to have met you here. Thanks again for those movie recs!

@shavingmysealegs<3 Another lovely blog ran by a lovely person ;)

T-Z

@themissingmask Your artwork always makes me smile even on the worst days and is so very inspirational for writing fics     

@thewalruscaptain (Rachel) Along with Lisa, our funny ramblings on tumbles and also every so often you make fantastic pretties

@theoexplores 

@thomashamilton  

@taseger  

@vowel-in-thug (Gemma) Your Silverflint fics are amazing!!! I always feel guilty because I can never read more than I write, but I read lots of yours even when I don’t comment <3

@zombievonmorgenWe haven’t chatted in a while but I’ve been loving every single Witcher post you’ve reblogged, and all those art posts very much. Your James Flint drawings are some of my favorite

…I’ll just be over here sobbing quietly now.

[11]

“And none of this information is foreboding or directly relevant to what’s about to happen in any way whatsoever.”

I’m guessing the princess in Shirasaki castle is Tomoyo predecessor, because she has the bell and the amazing headpiece going on. 

I also want to make an intelligible comment about Kuropapa’s smile but all that’s coming to mind is holy shit. 

WELL I GUESS NOW WE KNOW WHY KUROGANE LIKES MOKONA SO MUCH, HUH?

I want to hate you for leaving me. I want to hate you for kissing me. I want to hate you for kissing her. I want to hate you for lying to me. I want to hate you for everything you didn’t to me. But I can’t. I can’t and I hate it more than I should hate you
—  I want to hate you//A.G.
Hate you

You were the only person I’d ever truly loved. The only person that I ever let in. You made me feel beautiful and strong. I was invincible with you by my side. My heart would crash through the floor each time I saw you. I would lose my breath after kissing your lips. Breathing you in was intoxicating. You were so perfect. We were so perfect. Both of us were so young and both full of passion. We would feed off of each other mentally and physically. Craving conversation more, craving each other’s touch more, never fully satisfied and always eager to explore the depths of one another. I never thought of a happier time then when I was with you.

But you got tired of me and I knew it. I kept pushing you away. I was always getting jealous. I was being too nosey. I was caring too much about other people you talked to. “Jealousy is an ugly trait” you would say. I get so mad every time I think about those five words. Jealousy is a reasonable part of loving someone, I would always try defend myself. But I had known something was off. You smiled at me less. You would get annoyed with me quickly. The “I love you"s became dull and repetitive. Soon those happy thoughts I’ve had of you vanished. And then horrible memories come swarming back. And I just feel hurt and alone again. My heart shattered.

When I found out you were cheating on me I wanted to hate you so badly. Sometimes I can work my self up about it and get really angry about it but I never really hate you. I didn’t even care about the lying or the cheating. I just needed you. We had built a life together. You were the only string holding me to this earth. I had you. But not really. Not even a little.

I was always yours though. I was head over heels in love. You had every part of me, body and soul, and you choose someone else. Now I try to choose someone else and I can’t.
I can’t.
I can’t because no matter how hard I try you still have me. My heart will always belong to you. When I said "i would love you forever” I meant it. But I thought our forever was just that, ours.

I would give up my life just be with you again. I would do anything to be part of yours. And that’s the sad part the truly unforgiving part of love. Is no matter how hard you want to hate someone for hurting you, its just not that simple. You always have feelings. You would go back to them just as easily as the sea does to the shore.

I want to hate you so desperately. It would be easier that way. But truth is I loved you. I love you. I’m in love with you. And I hate myself for it.

But I can’t seem to hate you.