i will make room for all of you in this story

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Meme

Season four edition

  • “It’s nice that you’re excited.”
  • “Oh no, I forgot to pick mine up, the line’s probably really long now too.”
  • “Oh, I’m not really into porn… I mean, I’m just trying to cut way back.”
  • “Nobody really bothered me, or even spoke to me, until one night, when one of the male strippers called in sick, and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that story.”
  • “And you thought your days of sneaking out of your room were over.”
  • “On the plus side you’ve killed the bench, which was looking shifty.”
  • “I can’t stop thinking about you. Sometimes, in my dreams, you’re all naked.”
  • “I like you. You’re funny and you’re nicely shaped.”
  • “And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that’s what you wanted to hear.”
  • “I am the Dark Lord of Nightmares! The Bringer of Terror! Tremble before me! Fear me!”
  • “Nothing can defeat the penis!”
  • “I was under the impression that I was your big comfy blankie.”
  • “How come you didn’t tell me I look like a crazy birthday cake in this shirt?”
  • “My whole life, I’ve never loved anything else.”
  • “You’re being too hard on yourself. Why don’t we wait a half an hour and try again?”
  • “To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It’s a ritual sacrifice… with pie.”
  • “That’s one fun little hobby you’ve got there.”
  • “I know it’s nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting.”
  • “Yeah, well, I’m not the one who wanted Wind Beneath My Wings for the first dance.”
  • “This isn’t a relationship! You don’t need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.”
  • “Yeah, delivering melted cheese on bread. Doing your part to keep America constipated.”
  • “And you’re what? Shocked and disappointed? I’m evil!”
  • “Everyone’s getting spanked but me.”
  • “Make out with me.”
  • “That probably would’ve sounded more commanding if I wasn’t wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.”
  • “Don’t speak Latin in front of the books.”
  • “Now I remember why I used to have such a crush on him.”
  • “I’m just saying it’s a little strange to date someone who tries to eat you once a month!”
  • “No matter what, somebody’s going to get hurt. And the important thing is, you just have to be honest or it’s going to be a lot worse.”
  • “I feel horrible about everything I put you through. A-and I’m gonna make it up to you. Starting right now.”
  • “Great plan. That’s right up there with duck and cover.”
  • “Sometimes I think about two women doing a spell, and…then I do a spell by myself.”
[9/30]

Today I went with my supervisor on a home visit. It was only her second time meeting with the family, but last time she was there, the little girl refused to come out of her room and talk, so she asked me to come along and give it a shot. The house was on the north side of the city and looked extremely run down from the outside. Apparently the north side used to be mostly Italian and Polish immigrants, but in recent years has become quite impoverished and now is where much of the city’s refugee resettlement occurs. It’s not regarded as a very safe area either. As we drove, my supervisor said, “if you ever have a client here, please don’t come after dark.” That makes me sad, especially because 5 minutes away, we’re all comfortable in our fancy private university up on the hill.

The inside of the house was so charming and cozy. The walls were covered in dream catchers and hanging fleece blankets (which were definitely a unique design choice) but it felt homey and I could tell they felt good there. There were so many magnets on the fridge, I don’t think there was a centimeter of free space.

The girl is 12 years old and hardly leaves her room. She has a physical disability, but was also deeply affected by the death of her 15-year-old sister a couple of years prior. There is currently a CPS investigation on the family because this little girl will not attend school anymore, and that’s how we got called in. The mother was kind and genuine, and seemed much more invested in her kid than other parents I’ve worked with. She did some paperwork with my supervisor while I sat on the floor outside the girl’s room and talked to her through the door.

I asked her what she did in there all day and she told me she paints. I told her that I painted too—that I wasn’t very good, but it was relaxing, so I did it anyway. She laughed at me a little. I asked her if she had art class in school and she said yes, but she doesn’t like to go because if the art teacher saw how good she was, they’d make her teach the class and she’s too shy to teach the class. I told her I’d love to see her paintings one day and she said she doesn’t like when other people see her paintings.

What do you paint?

Whatever won’t get out of my head

It’s scary to show people art that’s really personal

She slid a piece of paper under the door. It was a collection of brightly colored hearts and squiggles and some flowers; it was much more cheerful than I expected. I told her it was beautiful and she slid another paper under the door. It said “TWILIGHT” in capital letters and surrounding it had all the names of the characters from the books. Edward was underlined. Are you Team Edward? I asked. She opened the door a crack and let me in.

Her walls were covered floor to ceiling in her paintings. One particularly struck me. It was drawn in pencil and when I asked her what it was she said, a girl stuck in a mirror. I asked her if she felt stuck. She said she feels stuck in her room. I don’t really like to come out of here. We sat on the floor and talked about that. We talked about school and why she doesn’t want to go. She said there’s too many bad kids and she never gets to learn because the teachers are always yelling at the bad kids. She said she has no friends because she doesn’t really like to socialize.

Every time you make a friend, they never stay in your life forever, so what’s the point of having them?

It sounds like that has happened to you before.

It happens to me all the time.

She kept fidgeting with this weird doll. It was dirty and torn and looked like it was for someone much younger than her, but I could tell it brought her comfort anyway. I wanted to ask her about it, but I didn’t. There were those glow-in-the-dark stars stuck all over the back of her door and ceiling. I pointed at them and said I loved them.

My name means “star” in Spanish. That’s why I like them a lot.

Estrella?

You said it right. She smiled. Nobody ever says it right.

batb abridged review

mkay final thoughts: this isn’t the worst adaptation ever, it’s just a shame it was muddled by some straw-feminism, some really stupid backstory and some weird editing/casting choices.

i actually liked the “prince is a fuckboy” prologue because it showed him being a little shit for his own personal gratification, which yes! good! there’s room for a story here. there was NO need to add the abusive daddy storyline to somehow exculpate him and eschew moral responsibility! let the beast be beastly! let him have the potential for villainy and then let him make the choice not to, instead of force-feeding this “he didn’t know any better” storyline.

also, if you’re gonna put all your eggs in emma watson’s basket, force her to fucking emote her lines and her singing! or better yet, try casting someone who embodies the spirit of belle. anyone can be a great reader, but few have her passion and joy of life. (not to mention, u have gugu mbatha-raw in this movie who played another excellent belle, ironically, and if you’re telling me she couldn’t have blown this movie out of the water, you’d be dead wrong. that tiny scene between her and lumiere at the end had more passion than a lot of the belle/beast, but what do i know)

lastly, no one needs your “empowered” version of feminism, disney. your entire “belle is not like other girls” shtick is more backwards than the 1991 movie. stop smelling your own farts. as an additional note, this movie could’ve used more color and more creative editing. 

but overall, i did have fun (hate)watching it, and i will say i understand why some folks will like it. it’s more disappointing than bad, imo. it gets veeeery few things better than the original, and yes, it bears comparison, because it can’t escape the classic’s shadow, unfortunately.

BUT OKAY, one thing this movie’s got going for it  is probably the most compelling gaston to EVER gaston. luke fucking evans made me cheer for him even when he was shooting the beast. even when he was playing murderous maniac, because a) he was ungodly charming, b) he gave a nuanced performance, c)he had a fascinating mini-arc about violence and war, d) boy is finer than all the beasts combined. 

IMAGINE IF LUKE EVANS HAD BEEN THE BEAST. WITH GUGU AS BELLE. GOODBYE WORLD. THAT IS ALL.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.