i will make more gifs because he is a beautiful baby and the colors in this series are gorgeous

Part 5 (Please Don’t)

It’s been a long while and I am so deeply sorry. As I’ve said before, I’ve been going through a lot but I am getting better. Thank you all for sticking with me and still sending me love and support and your kind words. It’s going to good use. Anyways I have finished part 5 of the series I’m writing, Please Don’t.
Part 6, maybe? What do y'all thinks?


P.S. iris by the goo goo dolls is played or should be played in this sTory. Play it when you see this 《》>

Love you all! Enjoy!
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You turned him over.

“DEAN! OH MY GOD, NO!” You yelled. “PLEASE DON’T! NOT LIKE THIS!”

“DEAN!”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“y/n?” The voice seemed to echo. Everything seemed to be unreal.
This had to be some kind of sick fucking joke.
Right?

“y/n.” You checked back into reality with the voice so close.
“Sammy.” He looked at you with his red swollen eyes.
“Hey, um. Cas and I are going take his body to the woods. Gonna give him the hunters funeral.”
You stared at him. No reaction. No voice. Nothing. It was all a haze.
“Sweetheart?” Sam whispered trying not to scare you. You blinked snapping back into the conversation.
“No.” He heard you speak but confused with your answer. “I don’t -” “I’m not gonna let you burn his body.” Your voice stern.
“Y/N, we can’t…I mean there’s nothin-” you interuppted him again. “I won’t let you, Sammy.”
It stayed quite.

“I-I can’t do that to him. He’s-he’s still my everything. I-”
“Y/N, he’s gone and I-”

“NO HE’S NOT!” Yelled standing up making Sam flinch.
“He can’t be gone! Don’t you get it, Sam. He-he has to be here. With me. He can’t do this to m-me.” Your anger was replaced with tears and heavy sobs.
“I’m so sorry.” He grabbed you and pulled you closer to his body. His warmth seemed to make all this more real. Only hurting you more. The reality of it all was too much and your breathing became heavy.
“Hey, hey! Y/N. Breathe with me. It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay. I’m right here.” Sam slowly started to calm you down.
As your breathing returned to its normal state, you both began to sit in silence and let the pain set in.

“I miss him, Sam. I-” you paused to catch your sobs.
He turned to look at you with his watery eyes. The pain of losing his brother, his family. Was already to much and then to have you, his best friend, in pain over losing someone who loved his brother. This was too much.

“I can’t lose him like this. I’ve already lost so much but I-I can’t lose him. Not him. Not Dean.” Your tears fell from the rim of your eyes to the red stained cheeks. He pulled you close to him as you both sat on the bed you shared with Dean.

“You know when Dean and I first meet you. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you. Especially your smile.” Sam smiled through his tears.
You smiled too. Even if it hurt to do so.
“He thought I never saw the way he looked at you, but I did. It was crazy how much he loved you. He was falling for you. And fast.” You both chuckled.
“When you weren’t looking, is when he loved to look at you most. You didn’t even notice it did you?” He questioned laughing.
“Honestly, no.” You laughed back with him.

“When you weren’t looking, he would stare at your lips. He would stare at the way you would lick them. He loved to look at your eyes. The way they seemed to hold stories beautiful ones holding hands with the bad ones. Or at least that’s what he told me.”
You both stayed quiet for a little while.

“You know he loved you, right?” He moved so that you could look at him.
“Yeah. I do.” You whispered.
“No, I mean like he LOVED you. Like more than anything. You took care of him and stayed by his side even at his lowest. He loved you because you loved his broke pieces and little by little you put him back together. Y/N, you saved him.” Your tears started falling again. But tears of joy. Something you hadn’t had in a long while.

●●●●●●●●flashback●●●●●●●●●

“Hey, sweetheart.” Dean said with a smile on his face. That damn stupid beautiful smile that made you melt every damn time.
“Hey, Dean. Where have you been. It’s late.” You smiled at him.
“I was out getting beer and some snacks. Thought maybe we could cuddle near the TV and watch that show you like so much.” He shrugged looking down as though he was…nervous.
You smiled, watching him scratch the back of his neck and see his cheeks turn bright pink.
“Yeah that sounds like fun.” He sighed in relief and look back at you chuckling as though that’s what he’d hoped you’d say.
“Okay great!” He said with excitement.

“I’ll get washed up and change into somethin a bit more comfortable. Alright?” He asks shyly.
“Yeah. Alright I’ll do the same thing.” You smile at him and nod. He nods back and walks out of the room.

Dean and you had somethin for each other for a while. Things between you both seemed to make sense and everything, even through the roughest of times, fell into place.
You loved him. But,of course, he didn’t know that.
To him you had a little crush on him but that didn’t exactly help with the fact that he loved you. You didn’t know that either.

You got into something comfortable. A t- shirt and some black pajama pants then went back to your room and cleaned it for the both of you to sit and watch the show.

Knock knock

“Cool if I come in?” Dean asked outside the door.
“Sure. I’m just cleaning up.” You said.

He entered with a 6 pack and a box of pizza along with a bunch of other snacks that he knew you loved.
“This cool?” He raised the food in his hands.
“Hell yeah it is! You’re so sweet to me, Dean.” You said sarcastically and laughing.
“You have no idea.” He smirked and looked into your eyes.

You both stood there just looking at the others lips and then back to their eyes.

You cleared you throat, “you can just set it over there on the night stand and make yourself comfortable. Okay?” You said quietly still not taking your eyes off him.
He blinked, coming back to reality.

“Okay, yeah. I can do that.” He spoke lowly.

You both sat on your bed with only inches of space between your bodies.
Laughing and talking as the show just played in the background.

“And I was like, ‘Sammy, could you be anymore gay?’” Dean said laughing.

“Oh my god! Stop. Stop! I can’t stop laughing.” You said to him with your hand you on his chest and the other hand trying to cover your mouth to hold back the loudness of your laughing.

All of a sudden he pulled your hand anyway from your mouth.

You look up at him in confusion.
“Don’t do that, y/n.” He said softy.

“What?” You asked. Not sure what he was saying or what he did that for.

“Don’t hide your laugh, sweetheart.” His voice seemed to get a little deeper.
“I-I didn’t mean-” you tried to talk but before you could finish what you were going to say he placed his lips on yours.

He slowly pulled away and with both your eyes fluttering open.

He looked into your eyes and then back to your lips.
“Don’t hide your laugh. It’s beautiful.” He said quietly.

The heat radiating off of both of you was incredibly intense. But it felt good. It felt right. Perfect even.

“Dean-” you couldn’t speak with the way your heart seemed to be beating faster than normally.
God, he beautiful. Being this close, you close feel the heat. Count every freckle that sprinkled across his face. The deep color of green in his eyes. The plump pink full lips that you’d just tasted. The smell of whiskey and leather.
You could get a better look at the man you’d been so deeply in love with.

But what took you back a bit was that kiss. He kissed you. HE kissed you. And in the split seconds that your lips had touch, every untold and spoken story about him was there. The kiss was like he had just told you everything he felt. Everything he was. Everything he wanted to be. Without words.
It was amazing.

“Y/N, please don’t hesitate to ever be yourself with me. Don’t hide who you are. You’re beautiful and I want to see you. All of you.” He placed his hand on your cheek and pulled you closer to him.
“Dean, I’m scared.” You spoke with tears dripping down your eyes.
You pick you face up a bit. Wanting you to look at him. To hear what he had to say.

“There’s nothing to be scared of, baby. I’m not y/ex/n. I would never hurt you.” His voice quivered.
“I-I lost so much, Dean. He took so much from me a-and I can’t hurt like that again.” You sobbed and he pulled you close to his body, holding you.

“I won’t ever hurt you because I-” he paused to scared to finish. Afraid it’ll ruin everything.

“You what?” You could feel your heart beating faster and faster.

‘Aw fuck it’

“Because I love you.” He spoke.

“And you know what? I want you to know that YOU are gorgeous. And I promise you that I won’t let you forget how beautiful you are. So that laugh you’re trying to hide. Sweetheart, please don’t do that. I wanna hear it.” His words spoke so sweet.

“Why?” You asked smiling, still in shock.
“Because every time you laugh I can see how happy you are. And it’s such a beautiful look on you. To see you smiling and laughing. To see you happy. I want to see you happy, baby. I want to be the one to make you smile.” He said.

You couldn’t help but smiled wide, not knowing what to say.

“See. Just like that.” He picked your chin up and placed his lips back on yours. This time only being the first of many.
Feeling beautiful was something he was good at making you feel. That made you smile most. HE made you happy.

●●●●●●●end of flashback ●●●●●●

“I think what scared him most about you. Was not ever getting to see you smile again. To hear your laugh.” Sam spoke.

You came back to reality which only made things hurt more. Made you see that Dean really was gone.

“Sam, can I be alone for awhile.” You asked with a trembling voice.

You couldn’t see that he was looking at you with a worried expression but he nodded and rubbed your back.
“Yeah. Course. I’ll be right outside if you need anything.” With that he got up, leaned down and kissed your head. Walking out the door and closing it.

Now it was just you with your thoughts. Great.

‘He’s gone and this time it’s forever. Stop, just please stop. Why because you don’t want to hear the truth? No, it’s just- . He’s probably better off dead than with you anyways, y/n. Stop it! No! I want you to listen to me and listen closely. Dean’s gone and he’s never coming back. But it’s okay because he was probably getting sick and tired of you. You are a waste-.’

“STOP!” you yelled.
Taking a deep breathe you wiped the tears that had fallen
Looking at the room only made you miss him more. The smell of him still stained the sheets and the old black shirt with all his jackets and plaid, that you loved so damn much, still sitting in the opened closet. His ipod and headphones that lied on the night stand.

You looked at the ipod for awhile and then stood up and grabbed it.
Putting the headphones over your head and set them comfortably over your ears.

You could feel him. That’s fantantic, another thing that’ll drive you nuts.

You pressed play and listened to the last song that he was listening to.

《And I’d give up forever to touch you
‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t wanna go home right now》

You closed your eyes and let the lyrics flow.
Only feeling as though the words related to the love he had for you.

《And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it’s over
I just don’t wanna miss you tonight》

《And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am》

《And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive》

《And I don’t want the world to see me
'Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am》

God, you missed him. All of him.
The way he seemed to genuinely care about you.
The way he looked at you intensely and focused on your heart beat.
The was he said your name.
The way his scent was familiar.
The way he laughed.
The way he fought for the loves he loved.
The way he that smile made his eye crinkle.
The way he made you feel beautiful in every way possible.
The way he loved you even if he already knew about how hurt and broken you’d been.

《And I don’t want the world to see me
'Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am》

It felt as though the song was meant for you to hear. From him. Like a message. A note.

《And I don’t want the world to see me
'Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am》

He tried to hide his pain. He tired to hide behind the guilt and hurt. He wanted to be brave for everyone.
And even if he never knew it himself. He had faith. He was just scared to say it. He was hanging on whatever hope that was left in him.
And you. YOU saw him. The real him.

And you still loved him. That’s why he loved you. Because even though he was broken and damaged, you managed to slowly pick up the pieces and little by little you put him back together.

《I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am》

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

“Y/N, hey I’m gonna get us some food. You want anything? Sam said cautiously walking into your room.

“Y/N?” Still no answer.

You weren’t in there.

Sam started to panic. 'Where the hell could you have been? What were you doing? ’

Throwing stuff around the room and calling your cell. It was all seeming hopeless.
That’s when he found a note in the drawer of the night stand.

'Sam,

I’m going to find out how to get Dean back. I can’t do this life without him. I need him and he needs me. I’m sorry.

Love,
Y/N’

“Dammit, y/n.” Sam yelled.
How the hell was she going to bring him-

“What’s going on, Sammy?” A voice Sam never thought he’d he again.

“Sammy? Where’s y/n?” He said.

“Sam!” He yelled at Sam to get him to answer him.

“Dean?” Sam breathed out.

“Where is she?” Dean said weakly.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●