i will go skydiving

Tori, your local bipolar, reviews meds part 2

Prozac: Wow, okay. Life is good. Life is great. I want a tattoo. I want to go skydiving. I am Jesus.
Seroquel: If you haven’t slept in a week, you’re about to sleep for two.
Abilify: Do you like shaking uncontrollably and constant restlessness? Do you like to listen to people call your antipsychotic an antidepressant? This is the drug for you.
Lamictal: Rash. Death. Horror.
Vistaril: You’re so dizzy that you forget you were having an existential crisis.
Trileptal: Slight change in mood swings, not so slight amount of acne.
Lexapro: You’re gonna feel slightly less sad in about four years.
Cogentin: Good stuff. Wait, is it good? Who knows? I have no memory after it
Risperdal: Suddenly I’m a tired asexual.
Ativan: You think you’d get high but really you just get less anxious.
Lithium: My lord and savior
Zoloft: I’m a very happy zombie
Vraylar: uncontrollable movement. Increased hallucinations. Should be called “psychotic” not “antipsychotic”
Latuda: 1,000 a month for a little less command hallucinations (there’s a jingle too)
Eskalith: Hipster lithium. Thinks it does more than lithium, but it just lasts longer.

Klonopin: eight hours of bliss
Oh, please (Mark x FemReader) fluff

Originally posted by jiminy-krispies

(( gif not mine ))

(A/n): Lmaoooooo kill meeee

Summary: Mark plays “Playground Insults” for a video

Warnings: Swearing yo

SOME OF THESE INSULTS ARE HARD

LIKE I MEAN THAT THEY ARE ROUGH SO I’M SORRY I MEAN NONE OF THIS ON AN OFFENSIVE LEVEL

I AM WELL AWARE THAT SOME MAY HAVE CROSSED THE LINE

_____

“Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome… to this weeks video.”

Mark offered to the camera a joyous point, his words freezing in midair as he halted his voice.

The camera zoomed in awkwardly on his face.

“TODAY,” the brunette continued, camera panning back out “we will be playing Playground Insults.”

“Playground Insults is a game created by the lovely men on BBC Radio One.” Mark said “If you don’t know what the game is, I highly suggest you maybe look into one of their video’s. Right here. On youtube.”

Mark’s explanation was soundly finished as Ethan popped into frame from the right of the tanned youtuber.

“Also!” Ethan said “Special guest (Y/n) is here!”

At that mention, to the left of Mark, the said girl appear in the same fashion as Ethan.

“HELLO.” She called heartedly, throwing both arms high “Greatness, has obviously arrived~”

The shorter male in the middle scoffed and looked into the camera lens. He said:

“What are you talking about? I’ve been here the whole time.”

“And that’s why no one recognizes your greatness, you’re too easy to forget.” Ethan laughed back. This triggered a series of giggles from (Y/n) as she walked back to get some chairs.

“ruDE.”

❆   ❆   ❆

Mark and Ethan sat facing one another with hard faces. Neither were smiling, nor were either of them blinking.

“Okay,” said Tyler from behind the set up camera “Ethan can start.”

The dark blue backdrop that stood in the background of Ethan and Mark’s scene gave off a sense of maturity.

“Mark, there is a good chance that you are the reason your dad got cancer.”

Mark puffed his cheeks in restraint as he held back a laugh. He cleared his throat in a small manner and looked Ethan dead in the eyes.

“You are the real superhero of youtube, Ethan- specialty is the power of disappointment.”

Ethan let loose a louder snort like laugh and had to readjust himself as Mark chuckled as well.

“Well Mark,” Ethan finally began “you looked better with glasses.”

Mark almost lost it at that dumb remark. This process went back and forth for at least three more minutes before Mark had finally, truly, lost it. Ethan had called him youtube’s personal bitch. So because of that, the blue boy won.

After that duo, Ethan faced off with Tyler.

To no one’s surprise, Tyler won. A little bit because of the fact that Mark and (Y/n) laughing behind the scenes helped crack Ethan.

Next to face off, were Markimoo and (Y/n). The latter was quite confident in herself- and her ability to roast effectively.

“Alright so, since Mark lost against Ethan, he can serve first this time.” Came Tyler’s voice as he consciously readjusted the camera. Mark rolled his neck.

“(Y/n), you remind me of why I didn’t vote for Trump.”

(Y/n) pushed out an alarming short noise of amusement, covering her mouth quickly while Mark’s face remained cool.

“You know, sometimes I feel like saving that insanely annoying dog from your vocal chords.” was the girls comeback. It made Mark stutter an unsteady laugh.

Mark asked “Where do you… keep your diamond play button?”

(Y/n) inhaled sharply but was quick to return.

“If you ever look down and wonder why you have such a small dick, remember three quarters of it is shoved into your personality.”

Mark opened his mouth to say something back but promptly closed it again. He shook his head hardly- allowing a shallow smile to creep onto his lips. (Y/n) started to spit a laugh.

The brunette though, wasn’t quite done yet.

“You’re right. At least the other quarter is in your mouth at night.”

(Y/n)’s laugh hitched high. She sat silently laughing for several seconds before breathing in and regaining herself.

“At this point… if I ever wanted to go skydiving, I could jump from your arrogance to your youtube video standards.” she shot back, crossing her legs and folding her hands in a petty manner. She broke a little and giggled inwardly at her own joke.

Mark was sat pushing out several broken laughs before saying desperately:

“If I was trapped in your body for a day, the first thing I would do, is pay you a favour and get plastic surgery.”

(Y/n) smiled warmly and said back:

“If I was trapped in your body for a day, the first thing I would do is play with my boobs.”

That was it. That set Mark tumbling off the edge.

He laughed long and hard and so did (Y/n); his girlfriend praising herself for her perfect remarks.

“Ah- ah, you win!” Mark breathed, gripping (Y/n)’s palm in a handshake. She shook back and stood up with her boyfriend.

Mark reassured the girl with “I didn’t mean any of those, darling, I love you too much to say anything even close to harsh.”

“I meant everyone of those, sweet pea.” She commented in response, straightening her shirt.

Mark’s face flushed in surprise for about two seconds before realizing (Y/n) didn’t mean it. He laughed once more and said cutely.

“Shut up, you love me.”

(Y/n) smiled at him.

“I guess I kinda’ have to.”

_____

(A/n): lmao a lot of these were insults I used in actual conversations

Boyfriend!JB

Originally posted by jaesbum

  • the other members make the two of you do really awkward things in front of them
  • like somehow you’re both awkwardly standing and  holding hands while the other members are squealing and fanning themselves over how “cute” you two are
  • jaebum is just grinning and trying not to laugh
  • H I D I N G his face from you when he confesses anything (good and bad)
  • honestly,, traveling together?? i see it
  • and roadtrips
  • SERIOUSLY R O A D T R I P S
  • OH MY GOD going skydiving together
  • doing cute tourist things together
  • but also eating mcdonalds when you’re in italy typa vibe
  • him doing something really dorky and forgetting you were there
  • and when you don’t react (by being weirded out) or even do it with him he’s like OH I THINK I LOVE THIS PERSON11! HELLO
  • OKAY really good valentine’s day date
  • romantic af
  • roses and chocolate covered strawberries
  • feeding you said chocolate covered strawberries
  • smiling proudly after he purposely got chocolate all over your chin
  • “what did you do, jaebum?”
  • he replies by giggling and washing it off your chin
  • you’re laying there like ???bro
  • L O V E S  TAKING YOU OUT ON DATES
  • fancy ones and chill ones… he keeps it balanced
  • playing with his rings.. randomly…
  • when you’re intertwined on a couch or when he has his hand on your knee — there you are, playing with his rings.
  • tying his fringe up into a small ponytail
  • video calls when he’s away on tour
  • cooking together
  • cooking together for his family when they [inevitably] visit
  • trolling iGOT7′s together
  • sharing [and freaking out over] your celebrity crushes together
  • being really supportive with each other
  • NEVER jealous. ALWAYS supportive.
  • trust
  • T R U S T
  • meeting and getting along well with each other’s closest or oldest friends
  • he buys you crazy expensive gifts [when the time is right]
  • like he also buys you socks for christmas
  • holding hands ALL. THE. TIME.
  • spa days
  • taking baths together
  • helping you handle or style your hair
  • falling asleep on top of each other
  • like you’re on top of him, but he’s also sort of on top of you
  • MOVIE NIGHTS
  • falling asleep on the couch together
  • *JIINYOUNG WRAPS THE TWO OF YOU IN A BLANKET*

-Admin Mars

  • Chloe: Maybe I die. Skydiving explosion. And then you go and marry Max. And it makes me sad. But if she’s gonna be with somebody, I’d like it to be you.
  • Warren: Strange, but sweet.
  • Chloe: Only, I didn’t really die. I was faking it. And I come back. I spy on you from my red Corvette. And I’m planning to kick your ass, but I see how happy you make her. And I have to walk away. I have to. And I do. Slowly. In a rainstorm.
  • Kate: Okay, this isn’t really in the spirit of what we’re trying to do…
  • Chloe: But as time goes by it eats away at me. You’re out living it up with my girlfriend. And I’m alone, in a cave. Training.
  • Victoria: Anyone else want to chime in?
  • Chloe: I thought you were my friend… I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!
The credits don’t have to roll so soon before we’ve even gotten to the climax, before we’ve even gotten to the meat of your story… I really encourage everyone to live their life to the fullest, and I’m not talking about going skydiving or being the happiest you’ve ever been. I mean simply live in the moments that you are given, and find something you find worth in yourself for, and stay here with us. Please.
—  Ryan Magee - 2016 - “Final CyndaVlog : Goodbye and Thank You
  • Baekhyun: Maybe I die. Skydiving explosion. And then you go and marry Yixing. And it makes me sad. But if he’s gonna be with somebody, I’d like it to be you Jongdae.
  • Jongdae: Strange, but sweet.
  • Baekhyun: Only, I didn’t really die. I was faking it. And I come back. I spy on you from my red Corvette. And I’m planning to kick your ass, but I see how happy you make him. And I have to walk away. I have to. And I do. Slowly. In a rainstorm.
  • Chanyeol: Ok, this isn’t really in the spirit of what we’re trying to do…
  • Baekhyun: But as time goes by it eats away at me. You’re out living it up with my boyfriend. And I’m alone, in a cave. Training.
  • Chanyeol: Anyone else want to chime in?
  • Baekhyun: I thought you were my friend…I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!
  • Bart: The year is 2024. America is thriving under president not Lex Luthor. And tomorrow, Dick Grayson's gettin’ married.
  • Conner: Who’s the lucky lady? Maybe she’s an upbeat girl who’s nuts about gymnastics.
  • Jaime: Maybe she owns a juice bar in Gotham.
  • Wally: Maybe it’s Artemis. Maybe I die. Skydiving explosion *BOOSH*. And then you go and marry Artemis. And it makes me sad. But if she’s gonna be with somebody, I’d like it to be you.
  • Dick: Strange, but sweet.
  • Wally: Only, I didn’t really die. I was faking it. And I come back. I spy on you from my red Corvette. And I’m planning to kick your ass, but I see how happy you make her. And I have to walk away. I have to. And I do. Slowly. In a rainstorm.
  • Kaldur: Ok, this isn’t really in the spirit of what we’re trying to do…
  • Wally: But as time goes by it eats away at me. You’re out living it up with my wife. And I’m alone, in a cave. Training.
  • Conner: Anyone else want to chime in?
  • Wally: I thought you were my friend…I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!
The Anything Hat

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: The one in which you and Bucky help find each other a new hobby.

Warnings: language, fear of falling/heights, light-hearted cheesy fluff but whatevs man it’s cute

Word Count: 1830

A/N: This story was brought to you by Seb being an adorable panda and this song (great message but explicit lyrics just fyi). Also I’ve never played squash or gone skydiving so shoutout to my Google skills if this is terribly inaccurate.

Originally posted by surphile

It was an unusually calm morning – no missions, no paperwork, no training. Just you, the sunrise, and good company. You set your breakfast on the table and slid onto the seat next to Bucky, smiling at him as he absentmindedly leaned into your side whilst he continued reading his book and eating breakfast.

You sighed and took a sip of your coffee, reveling in the feeling of the steam as it swirled past your face. It was strange, in a way, having everything be so peaceful in the midst of the daily stressors of life. If you were honest you didn’t really know what to do with yourself.

As if by divine intervention, an idea popped into your head.

Keep reading

Enneagram Stereotypes

1- WHY IN THE WORLD DOES EVERYONE SAY I CRITICIZE AND JUDGE THEM I’M JUST HELPING THEM REACH PERFECTION, AND SHOWING THEM WHAT’S WRONG WITH WHAT THEY ALREADY HAVE AND HOW MY IDEA OF PERFECTION IS SO MUCH BETTER AND THEIRS IS SUBPAR, DUH 

2- I FUCKING HELP EVERYONE SO MUCH AND NO ONE BOTHERS TO SAY THANKS EVEN THOUGH THEY DIDN’T ASK FOR HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE  -bursts into song- I’M FEELING REALLY UNAPPRECIATED YOU TAKE MY LOVE FOR GRANTED BABE, AND I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN TAKE FROM YOUUUUU

3- No, I’m not at the top yet, baby. But does it matter? I will be there soon. -wink and blindingly white smile- 

4- -tears- No one understands me. HEY, I SAID NO ONE FUCKING UNDERSTANDS ME STOP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ME I AM A BLINDING PLETHORA OF PAIN AND DEPTH THAT YOU CAN ONLY COMPREHEND ON THE MOST BASIC LEVEL

5- -leaves room after 500 years and squints- I’VE DONE IT. I’VE GAINED ENOUGH KNOWLEDGE, I AM THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE WORLD.  Although I did run away from Nancy when she tried to kiss me and I’m still terrified of human contact. -spoken to their 10 cats- 

6- HEY HEY STOP YELLING AT ME OK, I JUST WANTED TO KNOW, FOR SURE, IF YOU’RE REALLY SURE, LIKE, REALLY REALLY ABSOLUTELY SURE- WELL FUCK YOU, OH ‘IT’S COMMON SENSE ANGELA’ ARE YOU IMPLYING I HAVE NO COMMON SENSE? WHATEVER, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T REALLY GOING TO SUPPORT ME 

7- HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY LET’S GO SKYDIVING AND SKIING AND GO TO THE MOVIES AND HAVE REALLY KINKY SEX, OH OH OH BETTER IDEA, LET’S DO ALL THOSE THINGS, AT ONCE!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE’LL DIE YOU JOYKILL HAHAHAHAHA I KEEP RUNNING FROM THE THINGS IN MY HEAD HAHAHA HURRY HURRY WE NEED TO GO DO STUFF LOLOLOL OR ELSE I’M GOING TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN 

8- YOU’RE ALL MY BITCHES. ALL OF YOU. BITCHES. MINE. MY BITCHES. I’M IN CHARGE. I KNOW BEST. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I INTIMIDATE EVERYONE? WELL SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELVES THEN, GODDAMN WIMPS 

9- I mean…like…I just want peace is all. Oh um my opinion on stuff hahaah funny usually no one asks um and I don’t voice it to keep the harmony- Wait, what? N-no, I don’t view myself as a doormat. -nervous laughing- I’m perfectly content the way things are. -strained smile- I’m fine -gnashes teeth- I don’t have any issues with the way things are. -explodes-

Dolan Twins Preference//Their Type

Disclaimer: This is just an opinion, and I’m not actually sure what their type would be like so please don’t take this too seriously.

Grayson:  I can imagine Grayson and his future girlfriend having a very playful relationship. Like he’d say or do something a little dumb (mainly on purpose) and she’d roll her eyes and retort back with a comment of her own. That being said, she’d have to be very open to banter and be very lighthearted. I also think that maybe she’d be a little sarcastic as well. Along with that she might even be a bit of a daredevil, and not be afraid to go skydiving or bungee jumping. I can imagine her taking Grayson on a date to go skydiving and then teasing him because he’d be a little scared still. I can also imagine her rolling her eyes at his and Ethan’s antics, but always helping them clean up afterward. She also definitely not mind the attention that their relationship would get from the fans, but she wouldn’t love it either. She’d overall just be really chill about the whole thing. I can also see Grayson with a girl maybe one or two years older than him possibly.

Ethan: I can imagine Ethan with a shorter, cute kind of girl who’s one of those girls who are really short and adorable but have a lot of energy to make up for it. She’d probably be really quirky, and would get excited over the smallest of things, which I think Ethan would love. She’d definitely be an animal lover, and be the type of girl who stalks puppies and kittens on Instagram as well. I can also imagine him really liking it when a girl wears oversized, knitted sweaters as well. They’d probably start off as friends, and Ethan would see her as cute from the start, but then he’d ask her out on a date and she’d get all dressed up and would just ultimately stun him with how gorgeous she would look. She’d probably be a lowkey romantic as well, and would love reading romantic novels. She’d also introduce Ethan to the world of chic-flics which he would pretend to hate, even though he actually wouldn’t mind them. And I think even though she’d have this good girl vibe she’d surprise everyone by having a really mature or maybe even dirty sense of humor. Everyone in the fandom would honestly love her though, and think of her as a Queen (including Ethan ofc) And omg giggles for days

  • Taehyung: Maybe I die. Skydiving explosion. And then you go and marry Jungkook. And it makes me sad. But if he’s gonna be with somebody, I’d like it to be you.
  • Hoseok: Strange, but sweet.
  • Taehyung: Only, I didn’t really die. I was faking it. And I come back. I spy on you from my red Corvette. And I’m planning to kick your ass, but I see how happy you make him. And I have to walk away. I have to. And I do. Slowly. In a rainstorm.
  • Jimin: Ok, this isn’t really in the spirit of what we’re trying to do…
  • Taehyung: But as time goes by it eats away at me. You’re out living it up with my boyfriend. And I’m alone, in a cave. Training.
  • Jimin: Anyone else want to chime in?
  • Taehyung: I thought you were my friend…I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!
  • Ash: Maybe I die. Skydiving explosion. And then you go and marry Serena. And it makes me sad. But if she’s gonna be with somebody, I’d like it to be you.
  • Clemont: Strange, but sweet.
  • Ash: Only, I didn’t really die. I was faking it. And I come back. I spy on you from my red Corvette. And I’m planning to kick your ass, but I see how happy you make her. And I have to walk away. I have to. And I do. Slowly. In a rainstorm.
  • Bonnie: Okay, this isn’t really in the spirit of what we’re trying to do…
  • Ash: But as time goes by it eats away at me. You’re out living it up with my wife. And I’m alone, in a cave. Training.
  • Bonnie: Anyone else want to chime in?
  • Ash: I thought you were my friend… I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!
  • Neil: Maybe I die. Skydiving explosion. And then you go and marry Todd. And it makes me sad. But if he’s gonna be with somebody, I’d like it to be you.
  • Knox: Strange, but sweet.
  • Neil: Only, I didn’t really die. I was faking it. And I come back. I spy on you from my red Corvette. And I’m planning to kick your ass. But I see how happy you make him. And I have to walk away. I have to. And I do. Slowly. In a rainstorm.
  • Meeks: Okay, this isn’t really in the spirit of what we’re trying to do.
  • Neil: But as time goes by it eats away at me. You’re out living it up with my husband. And I’m alone. In a cave. Training.
  • Meeks: Anyone else want to chime in?
  • Neil: I thought you were my friend. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!