i will give you 10 whole dollars

so at my work some items are discounted automatically by the computer and some items (like coupons and certain sale items) i have to discount manually.

we frequently get people coming in with “$10 off” coupons so when that happens I always say, “the $10 off is coming off of [this item] and you will see that on your receipt”. This usually avoids confusion, especially because a lot of my customers are old.

well Labor day we get a guy that comes in to buy something, i help him find what he needs and tell him i’ll ring him up for the ‘cheap’ version of the product he’s getting- the same product just packaged differently- and he’ll save like 2 or 3 dollars w that. bc im a nice person. i go to ring him up, and the computer automatically gives him 15% off, which it does for members. then he has a $10 coupon. great. i manually take the $10 off of his total and say my usual, “ur total is [this much]”, he pays, “and you’ll see the $10 discount on ur receipt”.

well this is clearly too complicated for him. he proceeds to examine his receipt and start asking about where his discount is- its a whole hot mess bc he got the 15% AND the $10 off, and the computer lumps both discounts together so on the receipt it says something like: “you saved [more than 10 dollars]”. meanwhile I have a line of like 3 people forming behind him which in my tiny store usually gets the manager annoyed at me bc he doesnt like me to have a line. the dude is freaking out trying to find his discount from a $22 dollar sale that he got $10 and 15% off of. im not great at math but just looking at ur receipt and comparing the original price with what you paid u should be able to tell u got ur freaking discount… 😒

ok um here’s some stuff i remember from my show and sorry if i mention stuff she’s said at other shows because i haven’t been keeping up with the stuff from this leg of the tour lol

stop draggin’ my heart around: she phrased it as tom “benevolently” giving her the song and i was like woah, there’s the ten dollar word of the day, lol

belle fleur: she mentioned that “sunset sound” was a reference to sunset sound the recording studio which i actually didn’t know?

enchanted: she winked at me during this song!! i was in row 6 of the a1 floor section and nobody within a 10 foot radius of me was standing up during the whole song! none of them knew it but of course i was up and looking at stevie singing passionately and during the last “whoa oh, i hope you make it” part, she makes eye contact with me and winks. i wasn’t sure if she was me and so i kinda put my hand on my chest in a goofy, sitcom-esque way and said “me??” (knowing that if it wasn’t me, she wouldn’t respond to my goofy gesture) but she just nodded and smiled at me and went back to singing but oh my god!! stevie winked at me!!

new orleans: before the song, stevie said that this one was about a hurricane “not this one, hurricane katrina, but i can’t write another hurricane song” and she said that “we should all take a minute to think about what we’re gonna do to help these people” and after the song, she was like “we’re lucky that we’re not wet, we’re not being blown off the stage” and encouraged everyone to pick somewhere affected by the hurricanes to send “20 or 30 dollars a week”

moonlight: after this song she mentioned that it was about twilight but also that she felt it was about prince in a way and how horrible it was that he was the one always checking on her during her drug days but he was the one who died from them. i’m not sure if she said this remark after moonlight or stand back but she also said that “i feel like, somewhere out there, he’s still protecting me”

stand back: before the song, she talked about how she first met prince at an industry party in 1982 but she accidentally said “1992, way before he was famous” and probably confused most of the audience. she mentioned that he was shy and she had told him that if he was gonna be in this business that “well, you have to talk”. after the song, she said “this is a new story. see these? [lifts her leg to show the tight leather pants she wears under her dress] i told prince he could use this, and he did” or SOMETHING like that i don’t remember the exact wording but basically just saying that prince wore tight leather pants bc of her influence

crying in the night: stevie insisted that “if there had been a single (to the bn album), this would’ve been the single. i’m not sure if it’s selective memory or if she’s genuinely forgotten that that WAS the single? lol

if you were my love: stevie called this a song that she loved singing and told the audience that “it doesn’t matter if i’m singing for all of you or singing alone, i love to sing. i will always love to sing” and that this song really gave her that feeling

… and that’s all i remember! hopefully there’s SOMETHING useful to you in there haha. so glad that someone got the dragons speech though, bc that almost made me cry <3

***
Thank you so much for this! I’m watching a live stream of tonight’s show and she was just lifting the dress and showing the pants. Priceless! Thank you again. ♥ Oh, and OMG! I’m so happy she noticed you and winked!!!

I don’t think I’ve ever done one of these before??? On Bucky or on any of my other blogs, so I figured it was about time. I want to share with everyone some of the people who are my most favorite writers on Tumblr. Each and every one of you is so talented, accomplished and awesome, and I look forward to continuing to drool over all of the content you guys bring to the dash every single day. These are the people that make Tumblr such a fun experience for me and everybody else, and I obviously recommend that you check them all out and give them the love, attention, hugs and kisses that they deserve!!! I tried not to tag any person more than once, but just because I tagged one of your blogs over the other doesn’t mean I don’t love your other blog(s) too!!! I love seeing every muse that all of you have to offer. 

Now let’s get this party started!!!

THE DREAM TEAM!

★ @asgardianhammer ★ @bcwtruckled ★ @bcywonder ★ @brainsnbeauty
★ @brooklynsoul ★ @drcylewis ★ @emmreth ★ @fastiell ★ @fatherofmachine@fearmaiden ★ @frcgilehearts​ ★ @friendoftheood ★ @icarusmarked ★ @ideolgue@itsybitsyparker ★ @lethiferxus ★ @liibxrte ★ @mancfiron ★ @nofortunateson@oftwentyeight@tclcpathy@tetramother ★ @thesecondmost@toskavechnyy@vandync@vdoviism@waiitress@waywardoakdown@whskeylullaby

MY DEAREST FRIENDS!

Under the cut there are a TON of sappy and embarrassing things about a few people that I care about very much. It’s a mess of memes and words that probably don’t make a lick of sense, but overall, the message I’m trying to get across is: thank you, to all of you. 

You guys are the best.

Keep reading

commissions!!

hello!! im noga and i am going to start doing commissions! sadly, i cant do digital art because most of my time i spend on art is in class, and i have no time to do digital art due to my huge workload for school. I also have no access to any way to send you the piece, so i will scan it and take pictures!

heres some stuff i wont do, to start off:
  -gore of children or gore in any sort of violent manner
  -anything explicitly sexual 
  -anything that depicts any sort of harm directed specifically at minorities for being minorities
  -if you can’t describe it better, i will ask you to either choose something else for me to do or nothing at all

some stuff i Will do:
  -nudity
  -detailed designs
  -ocs 
  -everything people would normally do n ask if ur unsure

Now. prices, more examples of my art, and where the money will go under the cut

Keep reading

Writing Prompts

Here is the prompt list for requests. As of now I am taking requests for 5 Seconds of Summer, One Direction, Teen Wolf, The Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, and Riverdale. I know I said this list would be up on Monday, but I totally forgot about it lol. Like I had said before, I want to be a more active writer on here, but the only thing I’m working on now is an Ashton fic, so send in a request with the boy(s) or character(s) you want, and a prompt #, and I’ll let you know when it’s been posted! 

1. “So are you going to kiss me or can I finish my margarita first?”

2.  “My younger sibling is best friends with your sibling and even though we hate each other I guess we’ve got to start hanging out a little.”

3. “I can’t move on from something that wasn’t supposed to end!”

4. “Do you want to talk about it?”

5. “What the hell did you just say about my favorite band?”

6. “I’m trying to avoid talking because I know what it’ll lead to, and I don’t want that to come.”

7. “Back then, I lied when I told you I didn’t love you.  You needed to move on from me, and I needed to protect you from me.”

8. “You’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now.”

9. “You’re not going to lose me.”

10. “It’s not that you’re wrong, technically, you’re just extremely not right.”

11. “This whole time you’ve still been in love with him/her… Not me.”

12. “Tell me the dirtiest joke you can think of.”

13. “I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”

14.  “This is why I don’t let myself fall in love.”

15.  “Its okay, I’m here.”

16.  “Don’t tell me to give up like everything is meaningless.”

17. “You’re everything to me.”

18. “I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay.”

19. “Sometimes I feel like I wanna make out with you is that a friend thing to do?”

20. “I had this dream where you kissed me, and I kind of want to try it now.”

21. “I’m not going to leave you.”

22. “You’d infected my head and my heart. I had to cut you out in one or the other, so naturally, I chose my heart.”

23. “You’re not going to lose me.”

24. “I don’t care what they think, to me, you are perfect.”

25. “Cuddle with me.”

26. “Since when are you all grown up?”

27. “Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love with me. How pathetic is that?”

28. “If you’re going dressed like that, I’ll have to put you on a leash, so everyone knows you belong to me.”

29. “I thought you wanted to think it over.”

30. “You broke my heart, and when I started to put it back together, the parts you left behind didn’t fit the holes.”

31. “I need tequila for this.”

32. “You collapsed in my arms! Your heart wasn’t beating and I thought I had lost you forever!”

33. “Get your hand off my ass right now, or you won’t be getting any tonight.”

34. “I have to leave you in order to protect you. Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

35. “Can you please learn how to pick up after youself? Is that too much to ask of you?”

36. “Why do I always call you when I’m wasted?”

37. “What kind of conversation did I just walk into?”

38. “If we don’t leave now, we’ll never get out of this small town that does nothing but hold us back.”

39. “Are you a virgin?”

40. “Maybe they’re right. Maybe I am no good for you.”

Namjoon as your Brother ( Brother!Series)

- He fits the older brother type
- He’s really smart so all of you that have siblings, you know what’s next
- “ Why can’t you be smart like your brother??”
- Parents comparing you non-stop
- Namjoon hates it as well since he knows you have your own talents
- The type to help you immediately if you struggle
- The protective brother that won’t let you date
- Sometimes he embarrases you with one of his outfits, in front of your friends
- Comes to your room at 3AM and asks you if you wanna go to a cool place
- Car rides are annoying because he talks about deep things and bores the whole family
- Kill his friends if they admit on having a crush on you
- “ NAMJOON WHY IS THE COMPUTER FULL OF DIRTY VIDEOS???”
- He sometimes scolds you and acts like a third parent
- Which annoys you bc he treats you like a child
- Namjoon is always the first to apologize
- “ I’ll give you 10 dollars if you don’t tell mom that i [….]”
- “ Make it 20 and you also have to buy me pizza”
- Makes you take pictures of him for his DailyKim
- Sometimes he would let you listen to his songs and it would be such an honor
- He is a supportive, loving brother that would protect you no matter what

Originally posted by asdfghobi

- Admin RJ

Alright, so, I work at this certain book store. In the mall, and this particular day was on a Saturday, one of the worse days to work at the mall. I’m at the reg cause we just has this non stop stream of customers and this one guy comes up and puts down a shit ton of books on doctor who (he also has more doctor who stuff on the shelf behind me that he had asked us to hold onto for him because there was no way he was going to be able to carry it around without dropping it all). I asked him if he found everything alright and yada yada and then asked him if he has a discount card with us (which we have to do with every customer). He said that he did not, so as procedure, I asked him if he would like to get one today and that if he did get one, he would actually save A LOT with the purchase. He asked me about the details of said card and I told him about the 10% to 40% off in the whole store and online, free shipping, and a coupon bundle that you can reuse over and over. Which will only cost him $25. He said sure sign me up.

Now when you ring up a customer’s items, the actual card price goes down (whatever you would be saving that day will actually make the card less and if you do agree to get an email saying “Hey you’re up for a renewal” you’ll get a $10 rewards card, but if you say no then you’ll get a $5 one. So basically if your card ends up only costing $10 cause you saved $15 dollars that day AND you sign up for the email renewal, you’re basically being paid to sign up for our card). 

So I tell him his total and it was around $220 or something like that and he gives me this look and says “Um I didn’t save anything.” I explain the whole fucking process to him again and he just shakes his head and says “No, I’m not saving. You told me that I would save.” (which he did actually save). So I deleted the card and I was handing him his bags (which he just yanked out of my hands) and then when the receipt was printing he just ripped it out of the machine before I could do anything else and stomped out.

My manager then had looked at me and told me it was okay, I did good. Then both her and my coworker told me that this guy does this every single time he comes into the store so.

I just hope karma just bites him in the ass.

7

hi!!! im gonna be taking commissions for the first time yay !! :”D

this will be for paypal OR ! my amazon wish list (private message me for the wishlist and prices)

so im absolutely broke right now and my dad is in a tight situation with no job… and i have no money… and i really need some money for the summer so i would really appreciate it if you could commission me !

things i cant draw

  • extreme gore
  • nsfw (im a minor)

the prices

  • 3-5 dollars for a sketch in my sketch book (price ranges with complexity + extra characters)
  • 4-10 dollars for pixel art (no backgrounds tho sorry!)
  • 7-15+ dollars for painting (prices will vary depending on the complexity. flat colors/a sketch paint with be 7-12 dollars. painting + simple background will be about 10-15 dollars. please message me further on what you want tho.) 
  • i can also do traditional art (this is easier for me and it will come out fast PLEASE message me about this! im up for it. i can do acrylic or watercolor prices will range through 12-20 dollars+.
  • 15-20 dollars for fursona ref sheets (if that is too pricey message me!)

there will be 3-5 slots open at a time depending on what requests i receive.

  • i will start a sketch of the commission but i will not go any further until you give me the whole payment. 
  • refunds will only occur before i start your commission or if an emergency comes up.
  • i take a while to paint digitally so please be patient ! if you want it to be painted faster as for something that is traditional art!

if youre interested please email me at BLUESKIES236@HOTMAIL.COM or you can send a message on here / fanmail!

my paypal will be set up this weekend probably! and i will start working on commissions as soon as i get paypal set up. and all digital art will be started on may 28th as soon as a get out of school!

check out my art tag for reference here!

At my store, purchases don’t show up on the pinpad, we have another screen entirely where everything shows up. Basically, other customers can see what you’re buying and how much you’re spending.

So, I had this lady in line, I had rung her out, bad the total ready (about $111), and was waiting on her to pay. She was, however, having a bit of an issue finding her payment. She was being quick about it as she dug through her purse and she was like, “sorry, sorry!!”

I smile, and said “hey its no problem, don’t worry about it!” :) 

But the older guy in line behind her, he pipes up and goes, “you don’t have anything to be sorry about!! You’re giving them a lot of business today!”

He was kinda chuckling and the lady gave an obligatory polite smile as she continued to dig and I was just standing there like are you fucking serious

Then when it’s his turn to pay, he only had a few items and made mention of how he wasn’t giving us much business today (and he literally said it like that, giving us business) so I just kind of awkwardly smiled and gave him his reciept like

Hey you old dick, can you fuck off back to whatever time period you come from where spending more money at an establishment actually meant something and leave me and other customers alone?

That lady was trying to be CONSIDERATE of other people, but I guess according to your soggy ass she’s allowed to just blow everyone off and be a dick because she spent a little more? Maybe I should just treat you like shit and tell you how much if a crinkly, unpleasant walnut I think you are because you didn’t even spend a tenth of what she did?

Honestly, this whole “I spent a lot so I deserve more” mentality needs to fucking die, for reals. I have no doubt that it matters at some places, but a lot of your average stores that these dick weeds are trying to pull this shit in, it doesn’t apply. 

When I get trained to be on register no matter what job I’m in, they train us to treat the customer as a whole. They don’t tell us to kiss the ass of the customer that spends more, they tell us to greet EVERY CUSTOMER with a smile and a script. Like, that’s it. We’re not paid on commission. My pay doesn’t get affected by how much you spend in the store, and therefore, I don’t give a flying fuck how much you spend. Even if you’re not here to buy your $10, someone else will be there to buy $100. And it goes up from there. I’ve had a guy buy a thousand dollars in fucking vitamins, and I still didn’t treat him any differently than the lady that came through and bought a 40 cent piece of fresh ginger.

Customers need to realize that yes, we need them, but your average cashier doesn’t give a flying fuck that you’re there or how much money you spent, especially if you’re going to walk around and be an entitled ass that thinks and tells other customers that basic human politeness and decency can go out the window because you paid a certain dollar amount.

Yes, my guy, we need customers in the store to buy things to fuel sales to get our paychecks. But we don’t need YOU SPECIFICALLY there to do it, hunty. Some other customer is always happy to take your place.

7

So, I felt like it would be a good time to open commissions back up again, since I’ve realized that I need to actually start saving up money again! Keep in mind, I do humans as well, along with other fantasy creatures. (Well, it depends really, you’d have to show me ;v;)

All I ask is that you give me as MUCH detail as possible, references are always best!! I also ask that you pay me before I show you the finished product, and you can wait as long as you’d like to pay so long as you do! I will send you a sketch (unless the commission IS a sketch) of the piece before completing it, to ensure that I have everything correct.

To order a commission or ask a question, just send me a message on my tumblr, or you may send me a note on my deviantART at Shrew-WiFi. <3 I’ll go into detail under the cut about each commission!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How do you "market" erotic stories on Kindle? I've sold a few one-off m/m stories to publishers, and want to branch out on my own. I've been contacted by a lady who wants to partner and do all the marketing, but she only wants to give me 30%, and I wonder if it's worth it? If I could get the same amount by going it alone, I would. I also have a friend who can give me stock photography and design for free. And what do you think about longer (10 000+ words) romantic m/m erotica?

it’s all about getting sheer quantity out there - let me tell you, i do like zero marketing, and i’m still raking in 300+ dollars a month now, big thanks to kindle unlimited and the increased amount of borrows it gives. if you want, you can set up a whole wordpress blog or tumblr blog or both for your penname, and organize everything there, build a fanbase. hell, i should probably do the same thing. but again… i’m making money anyway.

“marketing” aside from that comes down to choosing the right tags, title, and making a good cover. one trick is that when amazon says “only type in the title”, they don’t actually care when it comes to erotica. you can title your porn “WOLFY BUSINESS (GAY WEREWOLF OFFICE KNOTTING EROTICA)” if you damn well feel like it. not sure how much of a boost it gives - some authors completely forgo ‘tagging in the title’.

the other thing is choosing the right keywords - some keywords will put you in a category, and that will help a lot. here’s amazon’s keyword-category list

other than that, just thinking of what will trip certain searches will help a lot. i tagged an erotica that was obviously a rip on guardians of the galaxy as, literally, ‘guardians of the galaxy’ in one of my keyword choices. amazon let it through fine. if you’re writing anthro/shifter erotica and there’s a knot involved? you’ll definitely want to toss ‘knotting’ into the keyword search. and such and such.

ultimately, though, again, it comes down to quantity. a single title isn’t going to make you much… what you want to do is keep pumping titles out there. try to get at least 1 title a week.

10k+ words can’t hurt, but it might not help, either. kind of a gamble, you know? longform erotica that sells well is NOVEL length.

collections are a huge boost. not everyone may wanna plunk down 3 bucks for 5-10k words, but once you start putting several stories in a bundle, charging 3-5 dollars? you’re gonna make some cash there… the Kindle Unlimited system that allows people to do a TON of borrows instead of purchasing is a huge boon to the erotica biz, and is what’s responsible for me breaking 400 dollars for the first time last month.

but again… it really comes down to quantity. if you can keep putting the erotica out there, you’ll be on the fast track to being able to make a living off it. god knows that’s what i’m shooting for, bit by bit.

the 30% sounds like a terrible deal when you can very well build yourself up on your own on amazon kindle. that’s kind of the whole appeal! outside of amazon taking their own cut, it’s all yours, and all up to you. two of the BEST selling amazon erotica authors - the two women who got all that dinosaur themed porn on all the news outlets - did it for themselves after basically quitting part time jobs.

it’s all yours for the taking anon!

This dude called our store and I was the unfortunate one to pick up. He said he had bought some watermelon from us and it tasted sour, and he wanted to return it (without a receipt, which only leaves the option for a food exchange). I said he could, but he’d have to exchange it for other food. He said okay, but he wouldnt be able to bring in the watermelon bc he was a truck driver (So he was somewhere else in the US), and he wouldnt be there  to return it before the whole watermelon spoiled. I, not a manager, but understanding the situation, said he could come back and ‘return’ the watermelon without the watermelon in hand. He said he would try to come by when I was there, since I knew the situation the best, (even though I said I’d leave a note for the other customer service workers) and he asked me for my name.

Biggest fucking mistake.

Over the next MONTH, he’d call back, trying to catch me at work, asking for me by fucking name over the phone and it was the creepiest shit, Im just like you cant NAME DROP me im  A FUCKING CASHIER MY NAME DONT MEAN SHIT.

One saturday morning, we only had one self check open because we didn’t have an attendant. My manager slyly asked me to watch over it bc there was this dude over there, bagging unpaid for items. I walked over, and stood there, so as many thieves tried to do, he tried to talk me up while he was standing there.

He says a few things, then says “Hey, is _______ here today?” And I jump, my eyes wide (and Im wearing a fucking name tag, so it should have been obvious, but it still spooked the hell out of me) and I go “Um… I’m ______” and hes just like “Oh! I called about the watermelon! I’m here to return it.”

So I calm just a bit (barely, because the fact that he just knows my name so well now still creeps me out), and I tell him that yes, that he did speak to me. So he 'finishes up’ his 'transaction’ and says the stuff in the cart  is to exchange for the watermelon. I notice its a lot of stuff, but I don’t say anything until he walks with me over to customer service.

He hands me a container of watermelon (priced at about 10 dollars) and says he got that for me off the shelf so I have something to scan, and that I was returning two watermelons.

Now hold the hell up here. I understand that we had a miscommunication. I thought he was talking about our whole watermelon that was about 4-5 dollars, but I made it very clear that I thought he was returning 1 watermelon. I could do a 9 dollar return, but I wasn’t about to give this man 20 dollars because we 'spoke on the phone about it’

So I’m just like “Ok, I thought you were talking about the whole watermelon, but I can return the ONE sliced watermelon we were talking about, for 9. Not two. 1.” and then I also started asking for some of his bagged items. And hes just like “I already paid for those”

“Okay, let me just see the receipt.” I came around, and took out the more expensive items I knew he never scanned, while looking like I was actually reading his receipt. I know I didn’t get everything, but I sure did pull out the steaks, 13 dollar hamburger meat, and the 9 dollar bag of cheese. By time I had 'exchanged’ his one sliced watermelon for some of his items, he had changed his mind on several items and ended up paying 36 extra dollars.

TL;DR: Customer tried to scam me after trying to scam the store, twice in the same trip, after telephone-stalking me. Didn’t work.

anonymous asked:

I'm really sorry that you didn't get into AN AA this year! I really love your art, but I was wondering if you had any tips for newbies going! If not thats okay!

yes i have a ton of tips! if you ask me specifically about anything (anon or not) i will give my very best answer. but until someone asks…!

general tips:

  • always have a cash box float!!! have at least 50 in change, 2 tens, 4 fives, and 10 loonies.
  • try to make all your prices whole dollars. it saves a lot of time from looking for specific change. so no “$1.25, always $1.00 or $2.00”
  • try to have art on every level. on the table’s surface, something at eye level, and something above eye level. it gives your table more visual interest!
  • try to have more than one type of media, especially if it is your first year. bookmarks, buttons, keychains, and prints are all good! if you have too many though you will confuse people. try to stick to two or three types.
  • try to have a unique item that you think no one else would think of. people really appreciate that you took the time to think of it and it is often a good conversation starter!
  • think really carefully about quantities. you do not want to overprint huge! if you have questions about specific quantities, let me know because it’s more on a case by case basis. i use a small, medium, large rule for myself. i categorize my art by what i think will sell big (large), what may sell decently (medium) and what i know only a few people will remember (small). 
  • EDIT: OH! and!!! USE DEALS! so if your buttons are $2.00 each, have a deal that if they buy three, it’s only $5.00! it’s a great way to boost sales. 

if you are wondering about pricing, these are the ‘average’ prices i have seen:

  • 11x17 print - $10.00 - $12.00
  • toonie sized button - $1.50 - $2.00
  • postcard sized print - $3.00
  • 8.5x11 print - $5.00 - $7.00
  • bookmarks - $1.00 - $3.00
  • commission - $5.00 for chibi sketches and it goes up from there
  • keychains - $3.00 - $5.00

any questions about AA please ask! if i can’t get in myself, i want the artist alley to be the best it can possibly be with the new people who got in!

oh and i will be starting my button making service too for this AN. so if you don’t have access to a button maker and want to make some without shelling out $400 for the machine, let me know!