i will cry so hard when it ends though

anonymous asked:

(1) Hi Viria, I hope you are well :) I am sorry to bother you with this, but it's really important for me, and I wanted to share it with you. It'll be long and kinda sad at first, but it gets better, trust me. I'm a 23 y/o latina art student. When I was a baby, my mom left my dad and remarried, and my little sister was born when I was 10. She is the light of my life and I love her to no end. Our mom, however, had had and undiagnosed and untreated mental illness for years, and one day

(2) during a severe crisis she hurt us really bad. I was 12. She was taken away to a psychiatric hospital and Child Services prohibited her from ever getting near us again. Since then, I have been taking care of my little sister and practically raised her while my stepdad worked 2-3 shifts to afford our education and payment for my mom’s hospital, living and meds. He was always working and I took full responsibility for my sis. As you can imagine, even though I loved her with my life, 

 (3) the situation was very stressful and exhausting for me. By the time I was 15, I looked every bit a teen mom. One particularly hard night when my little sis had been crying about mom, I couldn’t sleep. So I turned to something that calmed me: the Harry Potter books. I read them online, and somehow ended up searching for HP fanart. That was the night I stumbled upon your DA account. And boy, did I love it! I know back in 2011 your skills weren’t what they are now,

(4) but I was blown away, and what’s more, I felt inspired to draw. I had never tried to make any art before; it wasn’t “my thing”. But that night, you inspired me. As time went by I kept drawing and closely followed your improvements. Your art was so relaxing, calming, and inspiring, that it really helped me during hard times. You kinda dragged me into all the cool fandoms, series and animes, and I found life to be far more bearable with so many awesome things to love and think about.

(5) Your DA and Tumblr were some sort of safe sapce for me. It always cheered me up and gave me joy, peace, inspiration. When the time came, I choose to study Art at college. It turned out you did too, and you kept up all the good stuff in your blogs. Weirdly enough, I kept feeling a sense of pride whenever you improved and got better. I was so strange that you were so so far away and didn’t even know I existed but you helped me so much.

(6) I got accepted at my country’s top University to study Fine Arts; I moved cities and took my sister with me; she grew into a wonderful, sensible, peaceful child, and her presence motivated me to be the best version of myself, while your art motivated me to keep expanding my academic/artistic abilities. Life was hard but good at college, and I had incredible opportunities. I am graduating this spring with an advanced studies specialization, and was recently hired to work at

(7) of a movie. It’s like living a dream. And tonight, just a couple hours ago, the most incredible thing happened. After dinner, my little sis came to me, phone in hand, and said “Hey Ana, you won’t believe what I found. There’s this girl who makes amazing art of all the fandoms you’re in. Her drawings are gorgeous and she has so many!”. She showed me your tumblr. I wanted to laugh and cry. She was amazed when she saw your old drawings and your current ones; speechless.

(8) She fell in love, and you know what? Immediatly after, she went to draw. She’s been doing so the past hours. I know this was offensively long, but Viria, I needed to thank you for what you did. Your art has always been SO much more than just digital drawings of fictional characters. It’s been the source of peace, safety and joy that so many of us crave. You have wonderfully impacted and influenced many people across the world with everything you make.

(9) I am so glad you exist and do what you do; you gave me the hobby that grew into my passion, thaught me so much, inspired me beyond belief and most of all, you helped make life more bearable. And now, you have made the same for my sister. Viria, the world wouldn’t be the same without you. You are truly a magnificent light among us, and for your existence and passion I’ll be forever grateful. Thank you, and may you always live the beautiful, happy, awesome life you deserve. Thank you.

I’m not even kidding I was sitting here peacefully chewing sandwich and by the end of these messages the sandwich was too salty so was my cappuccino I swear you got me to tears and now i’m just like

I’m a shaking emotional leaf but thank you so much for writing me! It means so much and i’m so touched and i just wish you and your sister all the best of luck, though it seems like you don’t really need it. Thank you, and I hope life goes wonderfully for you and your family! 


HAPPY BIRTHDAY @crackmccraigen and best of luck in your future.

Here it is folks! The thing that’s been making me cry for the past half year or so. I worked as hard as I could on it, though some pleases are a little lazier then others and I’m sorry. There’s also some odd color bugs, but I blame youtube, as they didn’t appear when I was drawing them.

Also pay attention in the end credits for the wonderful people who helped me.

Note, some of the artists I listed at the end for the help with line arting, I forgot that while some of them said they’d love to help, I forgot to give them anu scenes to draw because i got so stressed over the project that I drew them myself. I’m REALLY SORRY ;w; Stress can make you forget things! Still thank you so much!!

anonymous asked:

heya heya have you counsidered mc with abandonment issues? *finger guns*

YES I HAVE AND I’vE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK I HAVE SO MANY IDAS  -greenTE: Triggers, spoilers ahead~ (I’ll mark which characters have spoilers)

Yoosung:(spoiler free)

-the only thing he has close to abandonment issues is losing Rika 

-so I would think that no, he doesn’t fully understand your abandonment issues, but to somewhat of an extent he gets it 

-he’ll get offput when you sometimes make such casual comments about how one day he’ll leave you 

-tries to constantly reassure you that he’s going to stay with you

-his gaming habits aren’t the best for this, i think. Him not paying attention to you for hours makes you feel unwanted and not needed, and once he realizes this he tries to keep gaming to a minimum or even ask you to join in, maybe?? 

-how could you think yoosung would ever leave you with how yandere this kid is jesus christ


-so. :)

-jumin leaving you all alone in his penthouse and only coming back late at night really isn’t what you need 

-you’re actually thinking about running away from the penthouse because every time Jumin is late to dinner you have a panic attack and you swear, he’s just not going to come back one day

-and he does. one day he doesn’t come back to the penthouse, and he doesn’t give you a text or a call. and you’re all alone. just like before. always alone

-you want to leave, so badly, but you have to take care of Elizabeth. you can’t have her suffer from your mistakes with Jumin..

-Soon Elizabeth is the only reason you’re breathing and you love her more than yourself because she is the only good thing right now

-you almost become like Jumin, except you don’t imagine her as your ex. You imagine her as yourself. 

-it’s been a week and you haven’t really ever signed on the messenger and you haven’t been eating or sleeping well, you just stare out the window or play with the cat

-and then all the sudden the door opens

-you think it’s one of the guards. Maybe they’re finally here to kick you out? 

-you were expecting this, so you head out to the living room where you’ve already packed a bag 

-wait is that jumin

-and he’s acting??? like everything is normal??

-wow you’re having a panic attack

-and jumin is just like “??????” nonetheless of course he helps you out 

-turns out jumin actually legit forgot to tell you he was on a business trip and just left you in the dust for a week 

-he’s actually surprised you aren’t mad at him. you should be. but instead your just cursing at yourself and mad at yourself? baby no

-once you tell him about your abandonment issues, he actually is super understanding

-he wasn’t neglected but. his childhood was kind of weird too guys

-he’ll never do it again. he’s taking you on all his business trips and is making a habit of coming home early and calling you on the phone

-this surely isn’t the last time something like this will happen. but you bet your ass it will happen less frequently and jumin will try his best to stay in contact with u 


-ALSO knows what it’s like

-same with yoosung. doesn’t have abandonment issues, but knows what it feels like to be isolated and all alone

-but you don’t have a lot of time to think too deeply about how one day she’ll grow tired of you with how you two are constantly together running the shop and living together

-you two are constantly connected to the hip

-she’ll make sure to help you through your issues. she’ll make sure to hold your hand when the panic attacks come and run her hand along your back when your depressed. 

-really jaehee is such a BABE


-if you count up all Zens fangirls, that’s how many panic attacks you’ve had since dating this guy

-Zen’s pretty quick to act though. if you guys are on a date and a fan comes up and starts flirting, he’s quick to dismiss them and then shower you in a bunch of affection

-he’s pretty scared that one day you’ll end up leaving him, so you guys are kind of a mess with your insecurities 

-you’ll try to be tough for Zen, but every time you do you break twice as hard

-Zen really doesn’t know what to do when you have a panic attack other than sweet whispers in your ear and flirting with you???

-babe I’m crying why are you flirting with me

-it works. somehow. somewhat. i don’t know how but it WORKS

-guys have you honestly heard his voice though like of course it could calm you down

-expect a ton of dates because that’s what he does to show his love and how he proves he’ll never leave you

-sometimes he’ll sing you songs about how you’re amazing and he wants to be with u forever

-he’s so cheesy 

(Saeyoung’s was way too long so it will be in a separate post -Green)

Gency Headcannon

Image by @hage2013 ~ I couldn’t resist using it because they look so cute here <3

Who hogs the duvet 

  • Mercy since she likes to be warm and cuddly. Genji is too nice to even have any resistance to it. Hell, he would even purposefully wrap it all around her like a blanket burrito just to see her all cute and happy.

Who texts/rings to check how the other’s day is going 

  • Genji because unfortunately, Mercy is a bit too busy to remember to call all the time. He’d try to keep track of her schedule/breaks though.

Who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts 

  • Genji. He didn’t have that many girlfriends in the past without knowing all sorts of tricks and ways to win their hearts.

Who gets up first in the morning 

  • Being a doctor definitely, makes Mercy wake up earlier. As for Genji, well he might not need sleep but he probably wouldn’t want to get out of bed instead of cuddling his angel.

Who suggests new things in bed 

  • See “gifts.”

Who cries at movies 

  • Neither of them actually. I don’t think they’re the type to cry at movies. They’ve seen things.

Who gives unprompted massages 

  • Genji because Mercy would often work too hard and focus too much so she might get aches and back pain otherwise.

Who fusses over the other when they’re sick 

  • Mercy because she’s worried about how a cyborg could get sick (plus then both her lover’s and doctor’s instinct both kick in). When she’s sick though, Genji ends up having to fuss over her in return because she thinks she’s fine since she’s a doctor.

Who gets jealous easiest

  • Probably Mercy though not too much. Genji was a playboy after all and is still quite attractive. 

Who has the most embarrassing taste in music 

  • Probably Mercy, whatever her tastes may be (perhaps native songs or relaxing classical music). It’s not the music itself but more that she hums or sings along to them at times without realizing it (though Genji loves it of course).
  • Well, Genji has his weeb music but he’s proud of it.

Who collects something unusual 

  • Genji. For a man who climbs up buildings and wanders all over the place (old habits die hard I guess), he’s bound to find something strange now and then.

Who takes the longest to get ready 

  • Mercy because she gotta make sure she looks good. Genji, well that t-shirt seems to fit him and not dirty so it seems fine. 

Who is the tidiest and most organized 

  • Mercy because she’s used to working in her lab (though her lab itself is sometimes a bit messy). 
  • Genji has his clean habits from back in Japan too, but not his top priority nor did he really have things that he absolutely had to keep track of. As long as he knew where his stuff was in the mess, it was fine.

Who gets most excited about the holidays 

  • Mercy because she wants to make good memories with Genji plus she’s always excited over decorations and festivities (especially when it involved others too).

Who is the big spoon/little spoon 

  • Genji likes to be the big spoon because then he can feel Mercy being all cute and nuzzly against his chest. Plus who would pass up the chance to give that adorable angel headpats?

Who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports 

  • Genji has his passion and pride in video gaming. He gives her some mercy at times but still tries to win since he didn’t want to seem like he was going easy on her.
  • On the other hand, Mercy is trying pretty hard too. Something tells me that she gets really competitive with tennis despite Genji having reflexes that make it unfairly hard to beat him.

Who starts the most arguments 

  • Neither of them really argue, Mercy is good at communication and keeping in control while Genji has learned a lot through his time with Zenyatta. If anything, Mercy might get stressed occasionally and snap at him, though she’d apologize soon after.

Who suggests that they buy a pet 

  • Genji wants a cat. And a sparrow. And maybe a bunny too. Plus he already has a pet dragon.

What couple traditions they have 

  • First one who wakes up has to wake up the other one with a kiss and breakfast (which encourages Genji to get up early sometimes [see getting up]).

What tv shows they watch together 

  • Grey’s Anatomy because Genji is amused by Mercy fussing over medical things and making commentary about things. Other times they watch Korean/Japanese dramas (especially romance ones).
  • Disney movies too, since Genji like to see Mercy get so involved when her eyes light up at certain scenes and especially when she sings along so adorably (thanks for the idea @cyborgninjacarrot).

What other couples they hang out with how they spend time together as a couple

  • Lucio and D.va for fun! Ah, youth …
  • McCree and Hanzo to keep an eye on them and for more interesting life chats. That and to make sure they don’t kill anyone (including themselves) by drinking too much.

Who made the first move 

  • Genji because he sure knows how to ask a girl out. Mercy would probably feel too conflicted and shy about approaching him. That being said, it would be a while before Genji got his courage back and the confidence to do so.

Who brings flowers home 

  • Genji since he walks through town a lot and sees pretty flowers that might remind him of Mercy. That being said, she might buy them occasionally especially if she came home late or wanted a small gift to surprise him.

Who is the best cook 

  • Genji. See “gifts.” Plus with that skill with his sword, I’m sure he’d make a great sushi chef.

Tell me if you want to see more like this in the future!


Reid x reader

It’s funny how one moment of weakness can ruin everything isn’t it?

“Y/N, you’d better still be coming tonight.”

You replied to Penelope assuring her that you were, even though you didn’t want to.

Tonight was the Annual FBI Summer Ball and when you’d booked your ticket, you’d been intending on accompanying your then boyfriend, Spencer Reid.

Until you fucked everything up and made the biggest mistake of your life. One that you’d spent the last six months regretting as you watched him grow closer and closer to your other colleague, JJ.

It was your own fault and you deserved every piece of heartache and pain you felt. God knows, you’d caused him enough.

The night you could no longer hide your guilty conscious had been the worst night of your life. The tears that had been shed by the both of you, the yelling; you to him, begging for him to say something, to berate you, to tell you he hated you instead of just sitting there with a look of absolute disbelief on his face.

Disbelief that you’d hurt him. Because both of you had never thought that it would be possible for one of you to hurt the other the way you had.

When you’d got together nearly three years ago, you thought you’d be together forever. This was it, the love of your life. The man you were going to marry and have babies with, mini genius’ running around spouting off facts.

The team had been shipping your relationship from almost the moment you’d joined, replacing JJ as media liaison when she moved positions to profiler.


Jennifer Jareau.

The woman who’s arms you’d sent Spencer running into.

Despite her marriage to Will you were so certain something was happening between those two. The looks they gave each other, the sly touches. The text message that had been sent accidentally to you which was clearly marked for her. You knew her relationship with Will was on the rocks and had been for a while, you just never expected her to cheat on him with Spencer, or for Spencer to become the other man. The whole thing seemed very hypocritical on his part, not that you could comment to him about that.

And not that you had any actual proof. It was just a feeling, a very strong feeling.

You’d lasted two months keeping your secret, scrubbing yourself raw in the shower almost every night, still convinced that your body would show evidence of your failings. Two months of trying to act normal around the team, around Spencer. Until one night you couldn’t bear it anymore and you broke down crying, your secret spilling free.

“Why?” Was all he’d asked over and over again.

“I don’t know.” Had been you answer. Because you truly didn’t. You loved Spencer to pieces, he was the perfect partner. Kind, funny, considerate, great in the bedroom and amazing everywhere else.

When you looked back over and over and analysed the situation, you came to the conclusion that you’d simply been lonely. You’d been injured a few months prior and had been unable to complete your usual duties, being deemed unfit to fly. This meant you and Spencer being away from each other for longer periods than you were used to, and when he was back, he seemed distant; didn’t want to go out anymore and didn’t want to take you to bed.

It turned out when you’d eventually confronted him about it, that he’d been getting debilitating headaches and hadn’t wanted to trouble you when you were dealing with your own recovery. At that point though it was already too late. The deed had been done, the crime committed.

You tried to convince yourself that you could live with yourself, that you loved Spence and that what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. You’d made a mistake, a huge horrific one, but you were sorry. You realised that he was one hundred percent the person you wanted to be with. No one else, ever again. And then one night something had set you off. You couldn’t even remember what made you blurt the words out, only remembering the sound of Spencer dropping his coffee mug to the floor as the world you both knew seemed to stop turning.

Suprisingly Spencer hadn’t wanted to break up. “It was a mistake,” he’d said. He could forgive you, as long as it never happened again. He’d neglected you and hidden his own problems from you which had resulted in you feeling abandoned, leading you to that bar that night. He loved you, you’d get through this.

The only problem was: you couldn’t forgive yourself. Now the words, the contents that had been filling your head since that night, had come spilling out, that was it. You couldn’t go back from this. You didn’t deserve his forgiveness. You deserved his hatred.

And so you’d broken up. Three years together, gone. In the space of 24 hours, you’d collected up your belongings and moved them back into your own apartment, contacting the realator and taking it back off the market. In the space of 24 hours, you’d updated your social media relationship status to single, replying to every single message with “I don’t want to talk about”. In the space of 24 hours you’d become a singular cell, rather than being part of the unit you’d become accustomed too.

In the space of 24 you’d lost the love of your life, your best friend, the father of your future children.

In the space of 24 hours you’d lost a piece of you. And it was all your own fault.

Spencer graciously agreed not to reveal to the rest of the team the reason why you two had broke up, giving the explanation that you’d simply just fallen out of love with each other.

If anyone asks, I’ll tell them we both just moved on
When people all stare I’ll pretend that I don’t hear them talk
Whenever I’ll see you I’ll swallow my pride and bite my tongue
Pretend I’m okay with it all
Act like there’s nothing wrong

The team accepted it on the surface, Hotch calling you both into the office separately and asking if you’d be able to continue to work together. You both thought that you could and you both managed to maintain a civil attitude to each other, not letting the break up affect work or the others in the team.

You knew the others talked about it, speculating what had what happened between you. Penelope and Emily both turned up on your doorstep with bottles of wine on multiple occasions wanting to be there for you. You never let yourself cry in front of them though, you didn’t want their pity, their kind words. What you’d done didn’t warrant it.

A few weeks after the break up, JJ’s demeanor towards you changed. Whilst she didn’t exactly become cold, she was no longer the friendly, mothering figure she’d been, and she stuck to Spencers side like glue. He’d told her, that much became obvious. You saw them both talking in hushed tones at the office, Jennifer touching Spencer’s shoulder slightly in comfort. After that, they started spending more and more time together, excluding the rest of the team from their out of work activities and acting almost like a couple.

Their new behaviour to each other sparked even more wonder within the BAU. Everyone had known that Spencer used to have a huge crush on her, and for someone who was usually very private about her life, JJ had made it very clear that she and Will were having problems, discussing them at length with Emily and Morgan.

You tried to ignore the whispers, the gossip. No one in the direct team believed it, it was the clerks, the office staff, the temps. There was talk that Spencer had left you for Jennifer and that they were having a not so secret affair.

If only they knew the truth about why you’d broken up.

But then…. they’d hate you. No one could ever hate Spencer though. There was something about him. He was the golden boy. If it had been him that had cheated on you, then people would forgive him. They’d say it was because he was so socially awkward, he didn’t really understand relationships. They’d make excuses for him. Not you though. So you played that old line again and again. “We just grew apart” and when people commented on his apparent affair with JJ, you’d shrug, “if they do end up together, then I’m fine with it. I want him to be happy.”

And then at night, when you were alone, you’d cry.

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?

How much longer would you feel like this? Would you ever stop hating yourself for breaking his heart, for breaking your own heart?

Probably not.

Tonight was going to be tough.

And then tomorrow, you’d hand in your transfer papers. You were never going to move on when you had to see him every day.

Especially now when you could see that he was starting to laugh and smile again.

That was the worst. Seeing him becoming happier. And knowing that you’d have to pretend to be happy for him.

Because he deserved to be happy.

I’m talking in circles
I’m lying, they know it
Why won’t this just all go away?

And you didn’t. 


A Snowbaz fanfic in which Baz hears Simon crying one night

(This is my first Fanfiction that I’ve ever shared publicly, so please let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!!!)


It’s late when I get back to our room (I was rat hunting). 2 AM, or just past. I’ve done this a million times, I know how Simon sleeps, I know when he has nightmares, how to get rid of them without waking him up, and I know how to move about the room without him noticing I’ve even come in. I know. Tonight it’s different. I noticed almost immediately: he’s lying too still, and his breathing is irregular. He’s awake. He doesn’t turn to look. I get into bed, pretending not to notice. I usually fall asleep to the sound of his breathing, but I can’t concentrate when I know he’s still conscious. I hear his breathing stop, and suddenly a low sob. It wrenches my heart right out of my chest. Simon Snow doesn’t cry. He’s the chosen one, the Savior of the Mages. Simon Snow can’t cry. He eats sour cherry scones, and talks to Penelope, and kisses his perfect girlfriend with his perfect lips. I’m lying here in the dark, aching to hold him, because Simon Snow doesn’t cry. I should go help him…He doesn’t want my help.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can we just take a moment to appreciate the moments captain swan got. no other couple got a 1st date, 3 stunning dances, when rumbelle got engaged they got married legit at the end of the episode while they were flashing to other couples. cs got 2 proposals, a rooftop wedding with a duet. there is a youtube video of all cs kisses its 48 mins!! still when they stand next to each other an we lose our shit. ship of dreams sails its self!


Actual thoughts I have while writing fanfics.

It’s been 5 chapters and they haven’t kissed yet and if I don’t do it soon then everyone is going to stop reading.

I’ve said this word so much that it doesn’t sound like a word anymore.

Why did I choose to make this a slow burn?

I’ve been writing for three hours and I’ve only done 400 words?!

This would be a perfect moment for smut but I’m gonna tease everyone and not give them what they want.

Thesaurus, my dear friend. What would I do without you?

I’m just gonna add something completely random and hopefully it will end up meaning something later. (I’ve done this so many times)

Okay, it’s been almost a month and I still can’t be bothered updating.

*Reading a comment saying what they think might happen and it being almost correct.*  WELL, Better change it up and do the complete opposite!

All these paragraphs are too frequent and it looks stupid even though it’s fine.

I wonder what *insert common readers name* is gonna say about this chapter?

What can I come up with to make my readers hate me today?

This sounds horrible as hell but I honestly don’t give a fuck right now cause it’s 4 in the morning…

I need a cliffhanger… Change the point of view and add a dramatic sentence.

God, *insert ship name* haven’t interacted with eachother since 3 chapters ago. Everyone is going to stop reading if I keep them apart any longer.

How many times do I have to change this “I love you” speech to make it sound different every time so it doesn’t sound the same as my other finished fics.

Ugh, when will this end?

Why am I making these two horny all the time? That seems quite far fetched..

I could make this conversation shorter but then I’d have less words and I want everyone to know I can write long chapters.

How do I write sounds? I can’t use BANG or Cazam! Sounds so lame.

This makes absolutely no sense but imma keep it anyway lol 

Why are people reading this again?

*Editing a chapter before publishing it. Also over a month later.* Mwah! Look at me go. I am so amazing that I deserve a treat for updating. *Goes and buys something that I’ll regret later.*

I could of avoided so much if I just changed one sentence.

Why is it harder to come up with a chapter name more then anything?

How do I spell *easiest word to exist* again?

I’m just gonna skip a few months so I can make the story seem longer but finish sooner lol

God, there is no smut yet and it’s halfway through/end of the story.. Better make them FINALLY do it even though it’s probably 20 or 30 chapters too late.

500,000 people better read this and leave me comments or I’m just gonna cry and eat my feelings lol

No one will notice if I “borrow” one line from a movie will they?

On 10/11 June 2017, I had the opportunity of attending two performances during the run of the “Live Spectacle NARUTO ~Akatsuki no Shirabe~” in Singapore. Cue major freaking out xD I mean, I am, quite literally, a huge fan of:

  • the Naruto franchise
  • 2.5D stage plays/musicals
  • Sato Ryuji

I really didn’t stand a chance. Lol! It is also my first time ever attending the live performance of a 2.5D stage play/musical, so saying that I was excited was really a huge understatement of the century. 

Before writing about the actual stage play and my impressions of it, I’ll begin my report with some audience snippets that I thought were pretty entertaining (including my own reaction to meeting Kimisawa Yuki, who plays Hatake Kakashi, Ito Yui, who plays Haruno Sakura, and SATO RYUJI, who plays Uchiha Sasuke, up close xD). This was actually supposed to be the last part of the report, but I still haven’t been able to write anything coherent about the actual stage play other than KJDGSLKFJLHAGSDJG OMG IT WAS SO GOOD KGFJSADHKJFSADGFHA ROFL

(Major spoilers for the “Live Spectacle NARUTO ~Akatsuki no Shirabe~”)

Keep reading

See you then

As you came back,
You were so different.
I just wanted to save
What once was mine.

And although my chrysanthemum
With its pink petals was more like the lucky clover,
The jonquils grew faster this spring
I knew the words “I cant stay” will sting.

Our own civil war,
That you brought home.
It was nothing I ever wished to get
The only thing I longed for was still far away.

Are this summer still
The beautiful bees deep asleep?
Are they gone with our memories?
They should know the gerberas are crying.

Our fall was an eternity to early here.
My efforts weren’t worth all that
The fruits of my work aren’t there.
You earned, my darling, that heartsease, indeed.

I hope winter will remind the lost part of you.
The last warning, now there’s four.
I still hope naively you’d come to me
But there’s no you, just a cold soldier.

The snowdrops never came back.
It was a lot easier to leave me behind.
Than to find yourself again.
You turned everything grey, even me.

The war seemed to change me more anyway.
But it didn’t stop me from having this gillyflower for you.
The black roses, dd they make you cry?
My sweetheart, the red tulips are gone, too.

My love, you came back to me in the end, so please, don’t cry.
That’s too late for violet hyacinths.
But when I’m gone, exhausted lids falling, promise me
You’ll pick only the summer flowers leaving my winter alone.

I suddenly remember our big blue ocean,
One of the last shared moments.
There was aster in my hair and a sunflower in your hand.
I fall asleep with the memory just like with a love song.
Because I can’t help falling in love with you for the last time, Dean.

See you then, love.

I wrote this for my german class a few months but i finally decided to translate it and was at the edge of crying when doing this

*nervous laughter* if you see any outstanding points you’ll have to know that i never read past the moment when Dean has to sing louder than the ECG so Cas concentrates on his voice

Aand now the meaning of the flowers and all that

Chrysanthemum - Devotion, “I belong to you”

clover - hope, luck

jonquil - disappointed love

bees - hard work, order, fertility,(eventually love)

gerberas - “You make the(/my) world beautiful”

fall - difficult time

heartsease - “You break my heart”

winter - ending, death

snowdrops - purity, innocence

gillyflower - expecting, eternal memory, burning gratitude

black roses - death (a Little obvious though)

red tulips - perfect love

violet hyacinths - “I’m sorry”

summer - maturity

ocean - infinity, passion, changeability

aster - optimism, luck

sunflower - blind love, passion

if you find a better meaning let me know because i took them from different cultures and they may not fit correctly

See you then


- Sherlock’s interactions with the (fake) little girl were so cute

- “this is family” “THAT’S WHY HE STAYS” yas

- 5 seconds of footage of Mrs Hudson dancing while vacuuming singlehandedly saved the episode

- “My name is Sherlock Holmes”
  “The detective?”
  “The pirate”

- “baker street boys” sounds like the name of an awful boyband

- Why the hell would Mycroft allow Moriarty to talk to her??? So dumb and out of character???

- Eurus was honestly very very creepy and I’m so in awe of her


- THE TWISTS THOUGH the little girl and the plane not being real and the whole Redbeard thing just blew my mind

- The montage at the end made me cry so hard with Mary and the whole gang at Baker Street and the speech and the music

- (also because it looked like a pretty alarming closure sign someone please confirm series 5 before I die)

- Moriarty was fierce but not important at all to the series (?)

- Why are all the security people so stupid is that a requirement when they hire them


- Lestrade’s parallel with the 1st episode was so sad but so beautiful

- Mycroft trying to talk Sherlock into shooting him by being annoying broke my heart and honestly I just want to hug him after all he went through in this episode

- YAY JOHN being the brave,smart,  wonderful person I know and reminding us all of why we loved him

- Bit dissapointed that the “I love you” turned out to just be part of Eurus’ game really

- The way it ended was kinda off too (?) like after all the atrocities she has committed I can’t just buy that a hug from Sherlock was enough to solve everything and make her good again. She was fucking terrifying and definitely crazy. No mind could possibly go from such a state to total submission so easily and it would be odd to shrug it off like that after all they’ve gone through with her

- Loved all the violin scenes so much

- The scene at the beginning when they trick Mycroft was so off but also so hilarious and cute so who cares

- I love how John quickly relates mentions of love and Sherlock to Irene Adler

- Sherlock breaking down is so pure and sad and I want to give him a hug

Overall I’m neither thrilled nor dissapointed, I will make a separate post regarding tjlc but these are my thoughts on the episode in general. There quite a few things I didn’t like about it, though I enjoyed the general product very much. We were warned it would get darker, I have never been so on edge while watching TV before and all the twists produced the desired effect on me. Again, I am very concerned as for the implications of the ending: it’s the first time they end an episode with complete closure, no cliffhangers, and that they would choose to do that while ending a series too is even more alarming. However satisfying I may find the characters’ situation as it is right now, I really don’t want this to be the last we see of Sherlock…

anonymous asked:

can we get some in depth what jaehwan would be like as a bf?

hey anon bud, sorry about this reply being so late ;__;

I’m not too good at putting my thoughts into words so this might be very sucky. I also have this hate/love thing for jaehwan so if you’re here for sweet things about him umm… probably not the right bf jaehwan description. Also a disclaimer of sorts: this is all what I think and could (and might well be) 100% wrong so pls don’t come after me if this isn’t how you perceive him

Okay I think most people use bullet points for these things?

Jaehwan as your boyfriend

  • always annoys you about tiny things
  • fishes for compliments 
  • never play the radio if you’re in the same car because he’ll try to out sing it every time.
  • if you say you like an artist/group he’ll cover their songs- not to please you, but because he wants to prove he’s better.
  • will sing to you but not to show you his love- will immediately ask “how great did I sound” or say “i sounded amazing didn’t I”
  • a practical guy so he would try to understand you, but would get impatient if he thinks you’re being too irrational
  • would laze around so you’d really have to be on his case about chores/etc.
  • if he was a cat he’d be the type to bring his owner dead things to show his gratitude
  • gives good intentioned advice but it isn’t usually the best
  • doesn’t like it when you’re petty but he gets petty, too. 
  • has his moments of being really sweet but they’re not an everyday thing rip.
  • “hey can you film me covering this song”
    • “make sure to get my good side…. every side is my good side”
  • tries to be smooth- is instead very cheesy.
  • can be kind of a jerk but he doesn’t do it out of malice
  • shameless
  • sends you selfies all the time 
  • calls himself the cute one in the relationship
  • “hey listen to this high note”
  • either doesn’t laugh or laughs hysterically- where is the in between?
  • makes terrible jokes and laughs at them all.
  • would take you out to eat and in the middle of stuffing his face would confess.
    • you: “sorry, what??”
    • him: “no you heard right”
  • would assume you already liked him. no shame.
  • if you make a bad joke he calls you out on it and never lets it go
  • never lets you live anything down tbh
  • buys you terrible gifts so you do the same. 
  • “hey take some pictures of me modeling these jeans”
  • makes terrible fashion choices but still thinks he’s the best looking guy on earth
  • would screech so loud at a cockroach.
    • him: “KILL IT”
    • you: “umm sweaty, it’s just a bug”
  • imitates you a lot. does it even more if you say you hate it.
  • “hey let’s see how many shots I can drink before I pass out”
  • doesn’t like pda in public unless he’s doing it to purposely get you annoyed, 
  • “hey can you measure the distance I can throw my shoe”
    • breaks a window at some point
  • “hey can you cook me something”
  • can be v. passive aggressive. 
  • calls you cute things ironically to embarrass you:
    • “hello my reason for living you are so beautiful my shining star baby angle my day one.. toots ..“ 
  • likes to drink with his friends and wouldn’t like it if you tried to limit that
  • he would be so annoying when sick. always exaggerating and taking lots of joy in you taking care of him.
  • if you ever get mad he’d try to resort to being cute and cuddly but as soon as you’re not mad he would go back to being his regular self.
  • “hey do you think I can sing this girl group song in the original key”
    • you: “yeah i believe you”
    • you: “no it’s fine, I’ve heard you sing”
    • but he’s already singing.
  • likes to get things done quickly so he has time to do other things.
  • going on dates are hit or miss. 
    • a hit if you go out to eat
    • a miss if you try to go on a cute date at the park
  • “hey you know what they say about guys with big feet”
  • sometimes takes a joke too far and can be hurtful so you gotta put him in his place. 
  • puns, puns everywhere, all the time. 
  • one day when you’re watching movies, he’ll cry over a studio ghibli one but he will deny it hardcore. what are emotions? he doesn’t know anyone named Emotions. 
  • “hey I’m out of chocolate milk can you go buy some”
  • tries to empathize but ends up making it about himself instead.
    • him: “yeah I know this is hard for you, but I was an individual trainee and I still made it”
  • he means well, though. :’)
  • never lets you forget he made it into wanna one. 
  • always brags about his fansites. 
  • when he has his moments of being sweet you always think he’s just messing with you.
  • tried to make a romantic anniversary dinner, cooks churros instead. 
  • when it comes down to it, he would probably step up and be a caring boyfriend but don’t expect it 24/7
  • he loves you despite your flaws and you sort of love him despite his, too… sort of. 

SOOO this got long. kljerklewjrklwerj sorry ;__; 

also credit to @theresnowarinbasingse for some of these and thanks to @king-jaehwan for listening to me rant about jaehwan. 

anonymous asked:

Hey! This is going to sound slightly odd but, could I maybe request something with the phrase "It's okay to cry" and the character Hanzo? I used to have a friend who would get all prickly and embarrassed when I said that to him, and I feel as though it would fit well for our dragon man. I've also been reading your other stuff about his awkwardness and would love to see your perspective! A Drabble or headcanons is fine, whichever you prefer!

Tearing Up (Drabble)

“Oh no, no, no, no! Doggie!!”

“It ends?” Lùcio gestures helplessly at the ending credits. “Just like that? Unreal.”

“That was so sad, he worked so hard and in the end, he–” Mei couldn’t even finish her sentence, choking into a handkerchief that Genji lent her.

“I hope that movie was most enjoyable, I have many more I want to shar–”

“Oh, sod off, Genji!” Tracer cried out, flinging her balled up tissue at the ninja, who instantly (and courteously) held up a garbage bin in the path of the projectile. You’re sure he’s extremely pleased with himself at having destroyed half of the recalled Overwatch’s already precarious emotional state. Soon, he was laughing as he held up the wastebasket to catch the tissues being thrown at him.

There were various outcries from each member in some capacity at Genji as Athena undimmed the lights in the entertainment room. A flurry of discreet movement at the corner of your eye caught your attention.


The man had his hands steepled over his face, elbows on his knees, and eyes closed like he was contemplating whether he and his brother, who was being verbally assaulted by people in various states of emotional distress, were actually related. Upon closer inspection, you noticed that his eyes were red around the rims like he was ready to join the waterworks. As stoic as the archer seemed most of the time, you’ve noticed that he’s actually quite tender at heart (if the way he sneaks glances at Hana spine whenever she’s watching dog videos was any indication).

“It’s okay to cry, you know,” you whispered, drawing a knuckle underneath your eyes to catch the wayward drops that had begun to fall from your own eyes. Not even you were immune from the movie’s pain.

The archer gave you a hard look, brows furrowed like he was offended by such a suggestion. “I did not ask for your advice.”

Your skin pricked, the underlying threat in his voice skittered across your skin. However, you weren’t deterred. “You’ll feel better, you know. It was a pretty sad movie.”

Hanzo shot you a much harder glare made much more threatening when he stood up, eclipsing you. However, the edge in his gaze was softened by the glassiness in his eyes.

“Do not presume that you know anything.”

You slapped a hand over your mouth, pretending to be stifling a sob. “Sorry, just letting you know it’s just not good to keep it in.”

Hanzo snorted, arms crossed tight against his chest. “Your advice is not necessary.”

“Noted. Sorry again.”

He did not seem entirely satisfied by your answer, but he nodded sharply. Either because he wanted the conversation to end or because he did not want to be around you any longer (perhaps both), he marched out of the room, leaving you to wonder whether or not you’ve overstepped some boundary.

A hand lands firmly on your shoulder, making you jump. It was Genji, having escaped the majority of the wrath of the movie watchers. He knelt down close to your ear.

“Do not worry,” he said gently, “my brother will cry himself to sleep later. He loves this movie.”

The movie in question is Dog of Flanders. I saw this thing many, many years ago and I’m really sure I cried. But I cry at anything, so…

One Piece Chapter 864


Just… Glorious.

I remember that when Katakuri was introduced, I was shitting myself because I thought he would be such a hard opponent. Turns out he is almost fucking useless lmao.


All the stuff he said made me smile though… He is furious that Big Mom curved him? Bitch you had the exact same plan, Big Mom was just better than you on this. You got what you deserved.

I’m getting more and more disappointed at the treatment Pudding is receiving. By the end of this arc, she’ll be a good girl I tell you. Oda’s attempt to make her look “bad” once again in this chapter was kinda awkward. It almost felt like he doesn’t know what to do with her anymore. And now that one of her brothers treated her like dirt, Sanji in his shiny armor will come and help.

Not that I don’t like Sanji, but was this really too hard to make a bad bitch out of Pudding, huh?

Brook’s head rolling on the floor and Luffy laughing at it omg cuteness!!!

Ichiji, Niji and Yonji made me LAUGH my ass of, but then I was so fucking shocked at what Reiju added: they are so emotionless that even the aspect of dying doen’t do much to them. Incredible.

But what really amused me is… The Vinsmoke spent one chapter sitting on chairs while everything was going wild around them.

They spent one chapter waiting like… Am I the only one shocked or what? xD

anonymous asked:

Halla ladies! Are there any sad, make your heart hurt, cry your eyes out fics? Basically intense angst? I'm in a weird mood and need a good cry. Love you. 💙

Hi, Lovely!

I don’t really cry at fics, so I’m going to link you to the ones that I have cried with. I hope you get a decent cry out of these!

  • Hard Knocks by DiscoNight
    Summary: Even’s depressive episodes are difficult for both him and Isak to cope with. When a frightening experience leaves Isak unable to talk to his friends, and not wishing to impact further on Even’s current state of mind, things go from bad to worse. In the end, though, they’ll always be there for each other to pick up the pieces. (Please heed the tags: this is heavy going but it is angst with a happy ending, I promise.)

  • nothing hurts like you by prettylies
    Summary: They’re both broken, by themselves and each other and everyone around them. But Even’s in love with Isak, so there’s that.

  • All That You Can’t Leave Behind by DiscoNight
    Summary: Isak looks at Even, with that soft and quiet adoration, the way he used to look at Jonas. This should be a good thing, right? No straight guy wants their best friend to be in love with them. Or: Jonas finds himself in a downward spiral when he realizes his feelings for Isak were never purely platonic. When a painful event from their first year rears its ugly head, he manipulates the situation to his advantage.

Much Love,


brambleberrycottage  asked:


favorite character: picking a favorite is SO HARD I LOVE THEM ALL but for absolute favorite…I think I have to go with Lito

second favorite character: my boy wolfgang

least favorite character: who even is jonas at this point what is his GAME

character i’m most like: probably Hernando, though nowhere near as eloquent

favorite pairing: wolfgang/kala (but I love them all)

least favorite pairing: I guess jonas/angelica because again, ???

favorite moment: when they all show up on the boat together for the first time at the end of season 1 and i cry and cry

rating out of ten: 9/10 I know this show can drag, but it hits incredible emotional notes and its characters are so real and wonderful, and that outweighs any pacing concerns for me

send me a series

Do You Believe in Soulmates? Part 2


A/N: I love all of you who will take the time to read this. Please reblog and like if you like this story! Not really sticking to a schedule for releasing the parts but I promise this will be the longest you all had to wait for another part. I will try to post the next parts within days of each other. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds, Supernatural Crossover

Summary: After some information about your soulmate was disclosed to you. The reader is refusing to let herself get caught up in the moment and hope. Meanwhile, Reid is developing some feelings, but are they feelings that will lead to love?

Warnings: a broken heart, angst, fluff (but is that really a warning?)

Originally posted by helpimanspnfan

“Who is this soulmate?” you asked, “Cas please tell me.”

“Dr. Spencer Reid.”

“Reid?” you ask flabbergasted.

“Yes,” Cas states calmly.

“No Cas. You must be mistaken. He’s still in love with Maeve and doesn’t think he’ll ever find love again,” you deny refusing to let yourself hope.

“Love is not a simple thing (Y/N), but I swear to you, Dr. Reid and you will end up together,” Cas confirms. Though you should be a little relieved at this, all you feel is anger boiling inside you. It started in your heart and as the blood went through your body so did the rage.

“So what? Heaven needs the Reid and Winchester bloodlines to mix so they use me as a pawn? How is that true love, cupid shoots an arrow into our hearts and we fall in love? How the hell are we then supposedly “soulmates”? If we were soulmates, wouldn’t we fall in love naturally? Like how he fell in love with Maeve? Wouldn’t he feel love for me without the bow and arrows?” you rambled on enraged, and also sullen at the fact that Spencer wouldn’t feel any love for you unless he was hit by cupid’s arrow.

“That woman was never meant to be with Spencer, even if she had survived they would have been together for two years and go their separate ways,” Cas threw his arms around you and continued, “What he felt for her was and is not love in the purest form. He felt some of the things that you would feel for a soulmate, but they were similar in many ways which lead him to be attracted to her. Attraction is not love.” You took a deep breath in and tried to calm you racing mind. You knew that Cas was an angel and that it was more than likely that what he said was the truth. However, you were still sad to the fact that it takes an arrow to the heart for Reid to have any romantic feelings for you.

“So it takes an arrow for someone to fall for me huh?” you joke miserably. Cas placed his hand underneath your chin and lifted your face up to meet his eyes. These were the moments you missed about your old life, Cas and you were so close that you seemed to be connected on a telepathic level. Ignoring the fact that he was an angel with the capability of sending messages telepathically as well as reading your mind. Still, Cas and you shared moments like this where you would be staring into each other’s eyes and the eyes would do the talking for you. After a few moments of Cas scolding you for the self- loathing comment, and you replying humorously by acknowledging it was hunter habit and would never leave you, you sigh and leave his gaze. You look over at the empty jungle gym trying to forget and remove all the feelings going through your mind, when an idea strikes your mind, turning to Cas you smile devilishly. 

Cas alarmed at you expression protests, “No, (Y/N). Forget it. Whatever idea you got just now forget about it, the last time you had that expression on your face I ended up cleaning paint from my feathers for a month.” Standing up as if you hadn’t heard his complaints you drag him over to the seesaw and make him play. Though a little stiff at first your best friend warmed up pretty quickly and soon was holding his abs and crying from laughing so hard. About ten minutes later you both found yourself laying in the sandbox, Cas with a pail on his head and you with a shovel throwing sand at Cas every now and then. “I have missed you (Y/N),” he says in his grim voice.

“Well considering the fact that I saw you every day when you were no-so-subtly making sure I’m okay, I haven’t had time to miss your face, but there are a lot of thing about you that I’ve missed. I’ve missed our telepathic conversations and our silly random adventures. I’ve also missed my brothers, why won’t you guys come visit me? I hate you all,” you whine playfully.

Cas smiles and theorized, “Well if they did come to visit you properly then there is a good chance that all of the monsters that are targeting us will come looking for you as well. We want you to be safe more than anything. Oh, and speaking of your brothers I have something from them for you.” He sits up from the sandbox, wiping out all the sand you managed to throw on him and reach out a hand towards you. You take his hand and get up wiping away any sand still stuck to you and look up at him with anticipation. Cas stares back innocently, knowing full well when it comes to gifts, especially those from your brothers, you were as patient as a five-year-old child. When he continues to just stare at you, you get annoyed and slap him on the arm just a little. “Ow, what was that for?” he rubs his arm faking pain.

“It’s what you get for torturing me with the idea of gifts and then not giving them to me. Now cough ‘em up Angel I carry a gun and an angel blade!” you threaten.

His eyes widen in exaggerated surprise at you threat and said, “I promised your brothers I would give it to you once you were safe and sound at home. Forgive me but I do not think this park is where you live.” You couldn’t help but laugh which Cas joins in after a few seconds, and you both head back to your place. While walking there Cas looks at you and comments, “You know Dr. Reid was quite disappointed when you left the bar, that too with me.”

You scoff at this and retort, “Yeah he must be so disappointed that I’m not there to listen to him talk about Maeve. Cas I swear to you even with cupid’s arrow he won’t fall in love with me.” Cas stayed silent to this comment and lead you to your apartment. As promised he gave you the gifts, hugged you and watched you enter your apartment. After he was sure you were away from earshot, he smiles to himself and softly says, “Who told that girl anything about a cupid’s arrow?” and teleports back to the bunker.

Although you scoffed at his earlier comment, once alone at your apartment you wondered if Reid had indeed felt disappointed that you were leaving with another man for a romantic reason. A second of considering this you immediately shot down the idea harshly reminding yourself that Reid had been your friend for years and he still fell for Maeve. As you fall asleep with tears staining your pillow, you recite over and over again to yourself that he has to be drugged in order to fall in love with you. 

Little did you know that within minutes of you leaving the bar Reid came up with a reason and ran on out the door.

Part 3 Coming Soon!!

Want to be tagged in this series? Just send me an ask, or Simply request it in the comments section. The more the merrier! :)

Tags: @fandomsneverdie14 @holahellohialoha @baerrylll @chocok22 @eternal-queen @thatonechickarlene @wolfie-at-the-disco @heavenlycevans @sophiphillips @padfootserastartsnow

My sister never cried

by reddit user aloneinthefray

When we were kids and she fell, scraping her knee, she would just giggle.

“I’mma get a band-aid, a pink one!” she said.

When her first long-term boyfriend dumped her, she laughed and offered me her arm as we made our way home.

“Guess this means we’re the hottest single chicks in school again.” she whispered gleefully into my ear, making me laugh, too.

Keep reading

Memories Back Then

Originally posted by defsouljb

“I don’t get how you could look me in the face and lie, knowing it’d hurt me a lot more then the truth,”

Summary: Jaebum was an ex of yours. He was your one and true love who hurt you at the end. Took you a while to move on from him and as soon as you thought you could move on, there he is…. What will happen??

(Y/N): your name

Previous Parts:

Part1 // Part2

This is Part 3~

More Parts:

Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6



Your Point of View

You arrived at a park that you always walked to when you were upset. The view was beautiful. There was a river that was so calming and it just helped you relax. You walked up to a random spot on the grass and took a seat looking at the river flow. As stupid as it sounds, looking at the river erases all your thoughts at the moment and makes you think of the future. Everything will be okay… This is all just a learning experience right?

You sighed and looked down. Why did everything have to end so badly? Why did Jaebum have to cheat on you? Did you not satisfy him? Why did he have to come back into your life just when you thought you finally moved on? You let a tear stream down your cheek and you didn’t bother wiping it away. You were so caught up in your emotions you were distracted till, you suddenly began to hear a noise behind you. You looked back and your first reaction was to get up. You stood up and looked around. You see a body figure near a tree looking right at you and your heart slowly begins to race. Your first instinct was to walk away now. You backed up and then turned around and began to walk away as fast as you can.You panicked and began to run as negative thoughts appeared in your mind. Eventually you hid behind a tree after a while trying to catch your breath and the next thing you know you felt someone grab your arm. You looked up and was about to scream till the person cover your mouth.

 “(Y/N) it’s me,” Jaebum says as you finally got a closer look at him.

And again the two of you meet….


You looked at him and placed your hand over your chest feeling your heart race. This boy almost gave you a mini heart attack. 

“You scared me half to death,” you exclaimed as you continued to hold your chest. You looked at Jaebum and could see a small smirk appear on his face. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes and you just continued to look at him.

“What are you doing here anyways?” He asks you and you crossed your arms. “I could ask you the same thing,” you scolded raising your eyebrows and he chuckles. Did you make some type of joke that you’re not aware of?

“Still the same I see,” he mumbles and you quickly looked away. You were actually surprised that Jaebum remembers how sassy you used to be…

“I guess,” you responded not knowing what else to say and that’s when the awkward silence appears yet again.

“But you never answered my question, why are you here alone? at night?” he asks trying to make eye contact with you. You were going to continue avoiding eye contact but eventually you stopped and just looked at him. “I just needed a walk.”

“Where’s your date?” he asks you. Why does he care? Why is your date suddenly concerning him?

“What’s up the 21 questions?” you asked and began to walk away knowing Jaebum wasn’t going to have an answer for that response.

You honestly weren’t expecting him to follow behind you, but all of a sudden this man was full of surprises. 

“Hold up,” he hollered as he tried to catch up to you and you continued to walk off anyways. Eventually he ran up to you and stood right in front of you stopping you from walking any farther.

“Can we please talk?” he asks looking at you bringing familiar butterflies you once felt in the past.. You missed the way he used to look at you. The way he made you feel so special like you were the only one he loved and cared about. 

But clearly you weren’t his one and only…

“We have nothing to talk about,” you answered coldly and he continued to look at you. “Yes we do, please just hear me out and then if you want me out of your life for good, your wish is my command,” he says and you sighed. 

You might as well just hear what he has to say. He would probably force you to listen to him anyways. But what is he going to possibly say “It was mistake, blah blah blah?” 

“Fine,” you mumbled annoyed and he grabbed your hand and pulled you to a deck that was near the river and stood in front of you. 

“Look, I don’t know how to start this… But I can’t keep quiet anymore. Fuck I miss you. I fucked up so bad in past, and you know what I have no excuse for that. I don’t even know why I even cheated on you in the first place. I was stupid not being able to see that I had someone so great in my life. I fucked up so bad and after that day you haven’t been able to leave my mind. I tried to find ways to talk to you but you showed me that you didn’t want anything to do with me. I even got to the point where I was over my omma’s house in tears and you know I am not the type to cry very easily. But my omma told me to let you go. You deserved to be happy and clearly I couldn’t seem to make you happy. Instead I caused you pain. So for the past two years we had our space and you still kept appearing in my mind. Then tonight when I seen you, I felt like this was a message that we are meant to be. I mean I can be wrong but I miss you so much and I can’t lie, I’ve tried giving other girls chances but none of them were anything compared to you.” he says and you could see his eyes getting watery.

“Jaebum….” you were about to talk but he cuts you off.

“You meant so much to me and you still do. I want you to forgive me. I want to be able to start all over and have you in my life. But I think I’m a little too late for that… I looked at you at the bowling alley with your date and you seemed perfectly fine, like nothing happened between us. Like what we had was nothing to you…” he says and a tear streams down his face.

You felt so bad but he has no idea how much pain he caused you. Here he was thinking you moved on perfectly fine but that wasn’t the case. It took you two years to move on! No you haven’t even moved on, here you are watching the guy you love right in front of you cry because of his mistake. You wanted to forgive him so bad but how are you sure that he won’t do the same mistake all over again? Where you really willing to feel that same pain you felt when you first caught Jaebum cheating on you? Did Jaebum mean that much to you where you would throw away your pride just to be with him? 

“You think moving on was easy? Are you kidding me? The day I walked in on you cheating on me, broke me completely. It made me question everything! I wanted to just run and run far away from you. I never been in so much pain in my entire life. I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you since you clearly had to go cheat on me. I’m sorry I’m not the prettiest girl in your eyes and I am sorry I’m not the smartest and I’m sorry that I wasn’t enough to satisfy you. I’m sorry I made you want to cheat but I have feelings. It took me two fucking years… Two years to get myself together. For two years I was here thinking about you crying myself to fucking sleep. It was hard enough to tell my family that we were done because they fucking liked you. Your name seemed to be mentioned so much to the point where it was hard to even forget about you. Then finding out you were in a group was the hardest, especially when I seen you all over my tv and heard your music all over the radios. Yes it may look like I’m fine but it’s called putting a fake smile. I smile even though you caused so much pain in my life. And I blame you, it didn’t have to end this way for us but I wasn’t enough.” you practically shouted and you looked down having tears run down your face. 

Again here you are.. crying because of Jaebum…

He lifted up chin with his finger and looked into your eyes. 

“I know I fucked up but what else can I do? I’m so sorry. You have no idea what I would do to go back in time and fix everything. No one can ever replace you, no one can make me feel happy like you ever did. But like I said if you want nothing to do with me, i’m okay with it. I mean it will hurt like hell but what can I do….Like you said I did cause you pain…” Jaebum says and you looked away. 

At this point you were confused. What was the point of moving on? He’s always going to be in your mind 24/7 no matter how much you try so hard to forget him. But in a way you didn’t want to forgive him and let him cheat on you all over again. You already let him past your wall and he betrayed you. Are you willing to forgive him and let him pass your wall again? The wall that you had to rebuild to even trust anyone?

You looked back at Jaebum who was waiting for an answer. 

“I need…. time to think,” You stuttered and he just nods. “Take all the time you need.. please.” he says.

You seen him lean in thinking he was about to kiss your lips which causes you to automatically freeze but he kissed your cheek. When you felt his lips on your cheek the feelings of his lips brought back all the happy memories you two once had. 

He pulled away and walked off leaving you there alone. What the hell are you going to do?


You woke up feeling no motivation for work. Last night as soon as you returned home you basically stayed up thinking whether you should forgive Jaebum  or not. As you got ready for work you felt like a blob. He came back into your life wanting your forgiveness and now here you are confused as hell. You looked at yourself in the mirror and can see bags under your eyes. You need to give him an answer soon or this boy will make me forget what the hell sleep is..


You worked your shift at work and things were going normal as usual. At one point there was barely customers so you just looked and observed the customers that were around. You noticed one couple who were sitting right in front of each other and laughing bringing back memories of Jaebum and you.

“What kind of name is Teavana Shaken Iced Passion Tango Tea?” Jaebum questions as he continues to laugh as you took a sip of your drink.

“Don’t judge the poor drink, it hasn’t done anything to you,” you defended your drink as you pouted causing him to giggle. “I’m sorry, the name is just…” he stops and tries to think of a word. 

“Unique?” you asked and he nodded. “Just try some, the name might be funky but the drink is to die for,” you offered putting the drink right in front of him.

“Ah no thanks, I’ll stick to my Iced Caramel Macchiato,” he says pointing at his drink. “Hater,” you said playfully rolling your eyes. 

“To your fruity cheesy drink name, maybe,” he says and you both began giggle. “Just please try some,” you offered again as you pouted staring at him. He continued to look at you with a serious face until finally he gives in. 

“Fine, fine fine.” he says as he puts his drink down. He grabs a hold of your drink and looks at it as if it was going to kill him. 

“WAIT! Drum roll!” you said excitedly and began to tap the table. He laughed at how you were reacting and at last took a sip. You began to focus on his reaction and his eyes widen. 

“Woah, this is good,” he says and you smiled. “Told you!” you shouted and you tried to grab your drink back but began to see Jaebum drinking more than your originally planned. 

“May I have my drink back?” you asked babbling your eyelashes and he smiled and shook his head no still drinking from your drink. 

You got up and walked over to him and tried to tickle him. He hated being tickled. He put your drink down and just as you thought you could get a hold of it, he pulls you onto his lap and holds your waist and looks at you. 

“Babe, if you just wanted to sit on my lap all you had to do was ask,” he says smirking and you rolled your eyes and giggled. “You're annoying sometimes,” you said and you softly placed your hand on his cheek and pulled him into a kiss.

You smiled to yourself. You had more good memories than bad with that boy. You guys treated each other like best friends but also as lovers. You looked at your phone hoping he would text you at least once but nope… nothing.

What are you going to do? You looked at the couple and then looked back at your phone… Have you finally made up your mind?



epicmurdock  asked:

I think in a dating sim you'd be the true ending girl! The girl next door that protag has always thought was really cute but he was worried about approaching. Not because he thought you were mean or anything, but because you're so pretty!! You're difficult to truly impress, but when the protag finally manages to catch your attention, your hearts feel whole together!

IM CRYING THATS SO SWEET AND CUTE!!! That really is me though I feel like I don’t really have any interesting character traits other than being nice and dorky.

My bad ending would have me being the super yandere girl though. I just love so hard :’(