Hustled $1100 today
First money for March- CPA took me to the spa today. We went to a hotel and did it for the first time and he decided to send me 1k and said it wasn’t apart of my 5k allowance but for shopping and replacing the cost of the book I told you guys about. Right after I went on a pot date with another guy from SA at skyroom and he put me in an uber home. I feel like I did a full work shift. Tuesday I went to the movies in the hood mind you with my platonic sugar daddy Troll and requested 100 thru G wallet. What I needed before I leave for Texas … I’m doing the damn thing with this cellulite tho!!!
Update: CPA deactivated his SA account after getting this pussy lol that’s right keep the money right here 03-09-17
I got new blues
Just saw “CPA” in the city and had dinner at Oceana in a private room. He gave me $1500 dollars as promised from our 5k arrangement.. he has 2k more to go (remember he sent me 1k that was not apart of the 5k).. we also talked about my breast augmentation; crossing my fingers. I know it’s not designer but I scammed two bags and some sunglasses out of him I really was testing myself. We did not have sex tonight, but we will possibly tomorrow. It’s crazy because I don’t touch my money I save every dollar. Probably will see “Africa” in Houston and I got the iPhone he bought me. It was a good night my friends ! 04-12-17
My Boy Builds Coffins (3/? aka Mortician Yuuri and Goth Victor)
“Victor glides into his office thirteen minutes late, Wayfarers on, velvet lapels billowing, and “Friday I’m In Love” sung in a low whisper.
“It’s Wednesday,” calls the bitter and world-weary child intern Yuri Plisetsky. “Also I’m revoking your Goth card.”
“The Cure is technically Goth,” calls his CFO/CPA Chris Giacometti. Chris has a blond undercut and leans more towards jewel tones as he’s firmly a winter. “Though I mean, maybe not that specific song.”
Victor smiles at him as he opens the door to his office. The space is industrial and minimalist save for the decor choices—velvet sofas with sleek lines and an aubergine chandelier commissioned by a hipster artist Victor saw on display in SoHo.
If Yuri hadn’t interviewed in a suit, Victor wouldn’t have hired him because the lemon-yellow leopard print he sports upends the curated aesthetic.
Georgi, who depending on how well his partnership with ladylove Anya is going, matches or not. When they’re well, he’s more in bright colors and Halsey. When they are having strife, he’s in grays and Lana del Ray. Right now there’s murmurings of Anya wanting to explore romantic anarchy so he’s kind of somewhere in between.
Victor fell into a google and r/relationships hole for two hours to make heads or tails of “romantic anarchy” before he gave up and contemplated suggesting Georgi put them on a break. Call him old fashioned but being an Elder Goth with a lifelong partner and their herd of fabulous poodles sounds much preferable.
The lifelong partner in this fantasy now represented by a stunningly beautiful man with coal-black hair, glasses, and warm eyes the color of a fine piece of cherry wood. Victor wakes up his iMac and blares baroque styled love songs by long-gone cult artists.
“Oh my God,” cries Mila as she comes into the room in all her lipstick-lesbian glory. She’s the rare redhead that works the hell out of pink, choosing to do so today in a dress she got from Mod Cloth on sale and a pair of gold heels. “What did you do? Who is he?”
“He’s named Yuuri,” Victor says with a grin. “He wears mostly black, drives a hearse, and likes Dragon Frappucinos.” His eyes twinkle at her. “Annnnd he’s meeting me for lunnnnchhhhhh. Pookkeeeee bowlllllssss!”
Mila laughs and grins. “Sounds like you should be playing ‘At Last’ instead of…” she trails off as she walks around the desk to look at his Spotify. “’You Are the One’ by Shiny Toy Guns.”
“I contain multitudes,” Victor huffs. “And he is perfect. I want six.”
“Six what?” Mila asks as she unlocks the company iPhone.
Victor gives her a blank look. “Six…Yuuris? One for every day and one for the weekend? Duh.”
Mila sighs and laughs at once. “God. Young love.”
Victor pouts as she exits his office with a chirp of congratulations.
He wants to Postmates bagels and cream cheese or maybe fancy doughnuts because he’s in such high spirits when Chris knocks on his open door. “Got a few?” he asks. He’s wearing his glasses today, round metal frames akin to John Lennon that are both chic and outdated, a warm emerald shirt showing off his wushu and pilates toned chest, and a pair of dark jeans.
It’s fairly casual at Living Legend Enterprises. Victor is only so formally attired because of the chance to see Yuuri again. Generally he lets them wear whatever, he doesn’t care as long as they aren’t unwashed or overly sloppy.
Yuri mentioned possibly dying streaks in his hair, and Victor cheerfully said for him to go for it. He only cares if it’s ugly.
“Yes, Chris,” Victor says. He lowers the volume of his music.
“Well,” Chris says. “I’m reviewing our budget, end of the fiscal year thing. And…I think it’s okay to bring one another full timer on board. That deal with the wineries in Napa is gonna help us out for a long time, and we can handle the overhead without much risk.”
Victor smiles. “Amazing! Get with Mila for the ad.”
“Of course,” Chris replies. He winks, his glasses making it cute but also roguish. “We’ll run the finer points by you for qualifications.”
“Since they’re a second Georgi, just follow his,” Victor says. “It’s neater.”
“Makes sense,” Chris says with a nod.
“Let me know when we have viable applicants, so the three of us can kvetch over who to interview,” Victor says. “No LinkedIns without photos. I mean it.”
Chris gives him a saucy face as he exits.
Victor gets approximately 100% jack shit accomplished. He’s too busy mooning over Yuuri’s beautiful face, his slighty soft round cheeks, the flecks of amber in his brown eyes, the careful messiness of his hair. He’s so cute and perfect. Victor can’t wait for lunch.
Fortunately, at 1:09 Yuri comes in unannounced. “Ugh, there’s some square here in a suit with my name, says he’s picking you up for some kind of dorky bs.”
“It’s lunch, Yuri,” Victor says as he rockets out of his seat. He fixes himself in the full length black framed mirror. Ah yes. 10/10 would date, heckin’ handsome.
“Whatever,” Yuri grumbles. “The guy is a pocket protector and a math book short of being shaken down for his lunch money.”
“Does that still happen?” Victor wonders.
“Nah, it’s a lot worse and meaner, too,” Yuri responds. “Regardless, that geek you ordered from Amazon Now has arrived.”
Victor rolls his eyes. When he enters the lounge, he sees Yuuri perched on the midnight blue velvet chaise thumbing through Nylon on the iPad. His suit jacket rests over the arm, and his dress shirt’s sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. His forearms are nicely toned. His light blue tie is horrendous. “Hiii,” Victor coos.
Yuuri looks up and adjusts his glasses. He’s cute, rosy cheeked and with a bashful smile. “Hi, Victor. Ready?”
“Born ready,” Victor says.
Yuuri flushes deeper and clears his throat. “Walk or drive?”
Victor spots that Yuuri managed to get rock star parking. The cafe is a half a block. “Walk,” he says though he longs to ride in that fabulous hearse. It’s not fair for Yuuri to lose prime parking real estate. Victor takes the jacket and hangs it in their black wardrobe. He reaches out and takes Yuuri’s hand in his.
“Come with me,” he says with a bright smile.
Yuuri hesitates but lets Victor escort him down the sidewalk to The Ramen Bar. It’s crowded but not so bad they can’t manage the wait, and when they get a table, Victor orders a Boozy Boba for himself. Yuuri gets a Lychee Oolong tea with rosewater jelly.
“Do you not drink?” Victor asks. He’s curious, not picking.
“Not during the work day,” Yuuri replies as he sips his tea. He swirls the straw around clockwise five times. “I don’t want to risk forfeiture or suspension of my license.”
“License,” Victor muses. His index finger touches his lips. “Sales? Insurance? Cosmetology?”
Yuuri bites his lip, and Victor wants to do the same, tug on the plush pink skin with his teeth while he wrecks Yuuri’s hair and shirt collar. “Um, well…my family has a funeral home. It’s been ours since my grandparents immigrated here. My father owns it now that they’ve passed, and my sister and I will be the joint owners when he retires with our mom.”
Oh. Oh wow. Victor’s more in love than he has been his entire life ignoring the first moment NorCal Poodle Rescue introduced him to a puffy brown puppy he now calls Makkachin.
Makka gets his ears dyed pink or purple every time Victor has him groomed.
“That’s so amazing!” Victor exclaims. “What a cool line of work. I’m so intrigued.”
Yuuri stares at Victor as if he’s never been told anything like that in his life. Actually, it’s more like he’s staring as if Victor just informed him he’s suffering from upside-down face disorder.
“Really?” Yuuri squeaks.
They order their food—Victor gets the poke trio bowl, Yuuri the octopus by itself. It’s far too warm for ramen or anything hot to eat.
“Yes! I’ve always found funerals calming. There’s something soothing about them, especially the religious ones. Like Catholic funerals with all the Latin rites. I don’t know. I don’t want people to die—” Victor is careful to clarify. “But the actual ritual of grief and letting go…I find it quite lovely.”
Yuuri keeps staring, eyes wide and bright like a startled cat. He cracks the knuckles on his index fingers. Yuuri fidgets a lot, Victor notes. He also looks at Victor when he thinks he won’t notice, and turns his eyes away when he’s caught. It’s cute, like he’s a schoolboy with his first crush. At least, Victor hopes.
Victor rests his chin on his right hand. He unabashedly stares at Yuuri, his eyes focused on him intently to catch every movement. Yuuri avoids his gaze as he licks his lips, his cheeks staining like someone brushed a wash of red watercolors over his skin. Victor watches him run his hand through his hair, though it just falls back how it was, and he swallows as he meets Victor’s eyes.
Their food arrives and before Victor can break the silence, Yuuri breaks apart his chopsticks and digs in. He’s elegant and careful when he eats, Victor notes. Almost meticulous, but then his occupation requires attention to a lot of fine detail. Why should his eating habits be different?
Victor can’t help but wonder if it extends to sex. He really wants to know, he thinks as he breaks apart his own chopsticks and selects a piece of tuna for his first bite.
Yuuri washes down his food with a sip of the tea. “Um—” he starts. “Well. No one’s ever…people tend to not care for my work.”
“Narrow minded simpletons,” Victor responds without looking up. He can feel Yuuri’s eyes on his face as he combs through his bowl for the next morsel.
“And…you’re right,” Yuuri says. “Funerals are supposed to reassure the ones you leave behind. They’re supposed to enable you to say goodbye, let go, and move on. Sometimes when someone comes to us, like a wife grieving a husband of fifty years, they have a really hard time. They can’t make choices or even fully grasp the situation. It’s my job to help them make sense of it and voice their love out loud one last time.”
Victor looks at him. “That’s beautiful,” he replies.
Yuuri smiles, though his lips are closed. It’s sweet without being sickening, and Victor gives him an expression that amounts to a heart eyes emoji.
They finish their food, and with a refill in a to-go cup for Yuuri and a new non-boozy drink for Victor, he pays their bill. They stroll back to the office, and Victor halfway reaches down and entwines their fingers.
Yuuri chokes on his drink, stumbling, and almost taking them both down hard on the pavement. Victor manages to save the day as he tugs him back, but Yuuri lands half clutching Victor’s blazer. He blinks up at him and Victor’s blue eyes widen a bit in awe as they stare at each other.
Yuuri blushes again and Victor can’t stop, won’t stop, as he kisses him just a centimeter away from his lips. Yuuri gasps. “Oh.”
Victor pulls away. “Please,” he says. “May I have dinner with you soon? Somewhere with white tablecloths and—-”
“Yes!” Yuuri blurts. He coughs. “Um. Yes.”
Victor is pleased. Victor is so pleased that right outside his office he pulls Yuuri close a second time and after wrapping his hands in his hair, he kisses him for at least ten minutes by his estimation. Yuuri kisses back with skill and equal amounts of affection, his hands clinging tight to Victor’s biceps like he thinks he’ll become a bat and fly away.
God Victor loves bats.
What Victor does not love is his entire staff cat-calling them and pounding on the glass windows of their office front. He actually didn’t even know Mila’s voice could pitch that high, and of particular note in terms of obnoxiousness is Georgi blaring “Young and Beautiful” from Yuri’s desk.
Yuuri breaks the kiss and hides as best he can behind the recycling bin a few feet away. Victor glares at his staff, sending them scurrying away like roaches. He pulls Yuuri out of the not-subtle hiding place and walks him inside to get his blazer. He puts it on him, Yuuri holding out his arms after a moment’s confusion, and Victor may or may not get a bit frisky with his (strong, corpse-lifting) shoulders.
Yuuri faces him and he hands Victor a white business card with an austere typeset. “Here.”
It’s his card with his information, like Victor gave the day before.
Yuuri runs his hand through his hair. “Um…call me. Whenever. I’ll go to dinner.”
He bites his bottom lip and exits, though when he pushes the door open he turns, opens his mouth, and closes it. Victor watches him go to the point where he sees the hearse disappear into the rest of the FiDi.
Made $2300 today no sex!!
Sorry guys I’ve been missing but losing “Africa” made me lose my mojo and brought down my ego I had going. Remember I don’t bring up arrangements like that so he thought we were genuinely dating, so I was hurt that he switched up on me like that. He was the only one that gave up money so easily. So because of that , I didn’t really want to be around men for a little.
So.. remember “Egypt” who’s was ordering me uberEats like all the time and who bought me like $300 worth of clothes. Well we never met in person until now. Work in Egypt finally ended (for a month) we’ve been talking for like 2 months. Houston is home for him so he took a long ass flight from Egypt to Houston and the next day flew to meet me. I didn’t sleep with him.. we woke up and I told him that I’m exchanging all the clothes he bought me for a smaller size and he threw his card at me jokingly and told me to mail it back to me. He ended up emptying his wallet and giving me all the cash he had on him which was $300 and dropped me off in the city where I was meeting my step mom in the city. – I ended up hitting up “CPA” because I was already in the city and my step mom is at work right now and he gave me my remaining balance of 2k ( he gonna collect his pussy payment though 😩)and we had a “talk” he feels like he paid more then what he got out of it. I feel like he was trying to end things but we’ll see. All in all, I got like almost 7k from CPA, that’s why he mad 😝. 05-15-17
Sorry I was missing but a bitch was fed up , don’t worry boos I’m gonna get my savage back 😈, be patient.
Happy Hoeing from your stage 4 cellulite hoe 😘
I don’t know if this is the right time para ipost ko, lalo pa’t palapit na ang May 2017 board exam, busy na ang mga examinees mag-aral. Pero ise-share ko pa rin since I haven’t noticed anyone sharing his/her experience last board exam at para may pasilip na rin kayo sa magiging siste ng darating ng board. Since it’s been 6 months na ang nakalipas, baka may hindi na tama sa kinokwento ko, but I’ll try my best to be precise.
As you all know, kami ‘yung second batch to have 6 subjects sa board exam, and last one na hindi maapektuhan nung mga additional topics.
First Day - October 1 AM: Advanced Financial Accounting and Reporting (AFAR)
Ang lumabas is more on Job Order Costing, Business Combination and Partnership then pailan-ilang tanong for other topics. I’m quite surprise (and thankful) na walang lumabas ang ForEx and Home Office. Though, I remember, nagkassue sa exam na’to kasi ang daming items na may problem, like mali ‘yung given sa problem or mali yung tanong. I dunno what happened, mukhang binonus nila yun.
Second Day - October 2 AM: Auditing
The exam was in 2 parts: the Theory part and the Problem part. Nakakaloka ‘yung theories, pang out of this world yung iba. Tas may paulit-ulit na questions, mga 3 rin ata yun. Ang memorable siguro about this is ‘yung tanong na “What is a comfort letter?” (non-verbatim) After exam, tanungan ‘yung lahat kasi walang clue kung ano ba yun (btw, it’s a letter for underwriters). Then, the Problem part, as usual, chain questions (at may lumabas na 2 chain galing ReSA). Kaso malupit lang kasi may halong mala-theory na mga tanong nito. Ang mga tanong din naman kasi is about how you would obtain certain evidences (PERCV/ Assertions, remember?).
Third Day - October 8 AM: Financial Accounting and Reporting (FAR)
Isa lang masasabi ko sa exam na’to: NAKAKAPAGOD. Walang hingaan ‘yung pagsagot mo eh. Ang pampalito sa exam na’to is ‘yung format niya. Chain question-type, like magbibigay muna ng mga infos, tas may 5 questions after. Only to find out na hindi magkakarelate ‘yung 5 questions – hindi siya chain question talaga. If hindi ka attentive, malilito ka eh.
PM: Management Advisory Services (MAS)
Dito ako nataranta. Probably, dahil naging kampante ako sa kanya, lalo pa’t nung Preweek namin sa CPAR, umikot sa Budgeting ‘yung materials na binigay sa amin, and I know the topic well. Only to find out na mostly FS Analysis ‘yung ilalagay sa board exam, eh hindi ko ganun inaral siya. I remember going back to dorm depressed, hanggang sa umiyak nalang ako kasi sinimulan na akong kabahan. Sabi ng ka-dorm ko, may mga lumabas daw ulit na galing ReSA. Hmmm.
Fourth/Last Day - October 9 AM: Taxation
Hindi ko alam kung nakakatawa or nakakabwisit ‘yung experience ko nung last day. Akala ko talaga BL ‘yung unang subject namin for this day. Todo review pa naman din ako sa BL mula nung gabi ng third day kasi sabi ko, makakasilip pa naman ako for Tax sa hapon. Buti nalang, kinonfirm ng isa kong kasama sa dorm na Tax ‘yung unang itetake. At least, that give me a time to review maski sa jeep. (Oo, I know dapat di na nag-aaral pero what can I do, waterloo ko ang BLT so never ako makakampante.) More on Percentage Tax, and VAT ‘yung lumabas na tanong (so better learn the rates now!) Tas may mga 5 questions na related sa grammar, pero parang naging spot the difference lang ang nangyari eh. Pipili ka kasi ng tamang sentence out of 4, yun na.
PM: Regulatory Framework on Business Transactions (RFBT)
Dahil waterloo ko nga ang BLT, eto talaga sasabihin kong pinakamahirap para sakin. It’s more on Obligations and Contracts, and Corporation Law. I can’t really remember, dala na rin siguro ng medyo pagmamadali kong tapusin na ang board exam. And the questions are situational, bihira ‘yung objection-type.
Overall, the first half of the board is fine, will the second half, pinakaba ako.
Any tips for the examinees? Huwag kang kabahan, I guess. Try to be calm as possible, kasi sa dyan na magsisimula lahat. Hindi ka na focus tas matataranta ka na. Normal na ‘yung feeling mong kulang pa inaral mo at hindi ka pa ready. Lahat naman ata tayo diba? So instead of entertaining such idea, idaan mo nalang sa prayers! More than anything, importante ‘yan. Sabi nga diba, ang pagpasa sa board ay hindi lang sa talino, kundi pati sa swerte. Pero on my part, hindi swerte kundi faith. Have faith in Him. Hindi ka Niya dadalhin diyan without purpose. And also, faith in yourself. Ikaw at ikaw lang din ang magdadala sa sarili mo. You can do it!
PS: Did this during wee hours of the morning so pagpasensyahan.
Wait , there’s more! And this is from “CPA” you might wonder how the hell did “CPA” give you $600 to your PayPal when he just gave you $1500 the other fucking day (3 days ago). I’m gonna tell you .. remember when I explained to you that I got two offers from “Troll” and “Africa” to buy me a new phone.. And I told you “Africa” ended up buying me a new phone and sending it to the store so I can pick it up and I did. “Troll” ended up giving me the run around and flaked on me. I never switched phones, I still had my cracked phone because I was waiting to buy a good case like otter box so the same thing doesn’t happen to my new phone. So when hanging with “CPA” I kept complaining about my phone and eventually he was like we need to do something about that .. he wanted me to meet him at the Apple Store so he can buy it but I suggested he send it to my paypal and I’ll take care of it. I already have a new phone so this $600 is for me.. but next time he sees me I will have my new phone and he will think he bought it. Ugh! I’m a scammer .. Today I made an extra $750 (look at my last post today) and all together this week I made $2250 yes lawd! 🙌🏼🤗 04-15-17
did you guys miss me? I’m still in recovery mode LOL. It has been very hard for me spending my own money and not getting money every single week. I have not given up any pussy since I told y'all I was on break.
This money is from CPA, he wanted to meet for lunch. He will not get any of my pussy unless he agrees to something consistent. I know he’s traumatized cause I broke him off of 7k and only had sex twice lol. He also never got to collect his last pussy payment from the last time he gave me money. He wanted to hang out when I got back from Houston. I’m like nah nigga you want a lunch date and you want to party you gonna pay me still for seeing me. No free shit here. So I asked for money and he took sooo longgg to answer and boom $400still no pussy was given.
Still need time to get my savage up, I’m gonna approach this sugar life differently without giving up too much pussy and without losing my mind.
ive been studying for the CPA so now i know exactly what those jg wentworth 877 cash now commercials mean… it’s like selling money someone owes you to a bank bc you need cash now…. but jg wentworth gives you less money than you woulda got if you waited……. jg wentworth is a hoe
So when I first saw this scene, I laughed like a hyena, because I knew that somewhere our family had actual photographs of my brother wearing BOTH of these tuxes to various proms, and they are seared in my memory. While my brother’s proms were a little later than the Stans’ (which would have been ‘68 or ‘69), I have no reason not to believe that they weren’t totally accurate for that slightly earlier time period too.
I recently rediscovered the actual photos, and I felt the need to share.
The year is between 1975 and 1977.
This might have been his junior prom. I swear that in my head, I misremembered this tux as looking exactly like Ford’s in the pic above (I could swear I remember the dark piping). But this is the only photo I could find of him wearing the powder-blue tux, so.
Oh but wait, it gets better, because:
This is definitely ‘77, because it’s his now-wife’s senior prom. I also particularly like this photo for the proof that it was perfectly possible to select a reasonable black tux, as his friend Brian did, (though I think that is a powder-blue shirt), which means my brother VERY VOLUNTARILY chose this pink ruffled ensemble.
With the white shoes! THE WHITE SHOES. I really gotta sit him down at some point and really ask how this happened. I mean I know it was the 70s and people were, objectively, a bit insane when it came to fashion, but. Guys, you cannot even begin to appreciate what a boring and unfashionable person my brother, the professional CPA, is and was.
I just need you to appreciate the satin piping and the ruffles at the wrists, and also, the attempt here at the Steve Pinington mustache. Because yes, that was totally a thing that people did unironically. He wore that mustache and long hair for several years.
Have you got a discharge date?! How do you feel about it? Xx
Not yet, but I have my CPA on the 8th of June and they;re expecting to discharge me around 2-4 weeks from there, though it’s more likely to be 2 weeks! I’m feeling really excited! I’m spending more time at home now anyway, so the shift from unit to home shouldn’t be too traumatising or hard. I’m really looking forward to it! Keep me updated with everything that’s happening Dorrie! xxx