I wonder when I stopped being beautiful to you. I wonder when my stories stopped seeming interesting. I wonder when you stopped feeling inclined to tell how your day is going or to share something you’d know I enjoy. I wonder when you stopped feeling the need to tell me you miss me even when we had only been apart for fifteen minutes. I wonder when you started forgetting. I wonder when I’ll start forgetting.
Everyone has that one person they can’t quite get over.
You can move forward with your life, you can find happiness elsewhere but every once in a while your mind will always linger back to this person. It just feels… unfinished… like there are things left unsaid.
But the funny thing is, even if you find this person and say all the things you want to… even if you do this time and time again, you will never get rid of that feeling. You will always feel unsettled and uneasy about the way it ended because the truth is it’s not about anything left unsaid or undone… What’s unresolved has nothing to do with words or actions – it’s your feelings. And it doesn’t matter how many times you go back to this person, weather you confront them or write them a letter or call them on the phone to say the things you feel you need to say to get closure… none of it will make a difference because deep down inside, for better or for worse… this person will always have a piece of your heart. Nothing you say or do will ever change that and it’s pointless to try so you may as well accept it.
No matter what you do… it will never be over between you.
Dolly wrote “I Will Always Love You” in 1973 and big old bad Elvis loved the song so much (duh) he wanted to record a version of it. BUT part of that agreement included Dolly having to sign over her publishing rights on the song which she refused to do, so he never recorded it and she was told by many this was a very poor business decision. Well the song went on the make millions for her over the decades through royalties and when Whitney Houston wanted to cover it for The Bodyguard, Dolly gladly gifted the song over to her, because she knew Whitney would do it justice. It’s the only song in country music that has hit #1 two times by the same artist (1974, 1982) and then covered by a pop singer to hit #1 again twenty years later.
I really think Dolly is exemplary in trusting her gut and creative senses, which is something all artists can admire and hope to be as steadfast in doing. She rose to the top of an industry that was not friendly towards women, and was unapologetically the best version of herself. The song, though billed as a romantic love song, is actually about her decision to leave her performing and business partner, Porter Wagoner and pursue her own career. So the greatest love song of all time is actually about a woman deciding to chase her own dreams. It’s a love song to herself. Okay thank you goodnight, long live the Queen of Country Music!
Sometimes I still get these urges to contact you.
It feels like pure desperation… Like my skin is crawling and my eyes are burning and I just want you back in my life so badly….
And I don’t know why? Where these sudden urges come from?
Why do I still do this, even after all this time?!
It’s like I'm getting out, I'm almost clear…. and then suddenly I feel like I would do absolutely anything just to have you back in my life again.
Even for a single moment…. Just to see you, talk to you - ANYTHING!
It’s like I don’t WANT to be out, I still want to be in love with you because in my mind, loving you equates to happiness and I just want that back… just for one second.
But I have to remind myself it’s not healthy.
Loving you is not like it used to be - it's not real anymore.
It’s not happy, it’s not positive…. and it’s gone and I can’t go back.
All I can do is put the phone down, blink back the tears … and keep moving forward.
I don’t know how you can be with someone who makes you feel like you are crawling… grovelling… scratching around in the dirt for scraps of love and affection.
How can you allow somebody to make you feel like that? Like you are constantly groping in the dark for something and almost grasping it, but never quite… It’s cruel; to treat a human being like that… to keep them on tenterhooks, constantly questioning what they’ve done wrong and desperately trying to win back the affection they’ve lost.
You deserve to be loved; unquestioningly and unconditionally.
You shouldn’t have to fight for love, it’s not a prize to be won. It’s not something you’re supposed to ‘earn’ – it should be given to you freely. You are a beautiful human being, and that alone is what entitles you to be loved. Don’t let somebody undermine your self-confidence to a point where you no longer believe you’re worthy of love unless you change or beg for it… If they were capable of loving you more than they loved themselves, they wouldn’t keep hurting you like this and they wouldn’t expect you to change…
You are the one who loves without question… without fault…
and you deserve someone who loves you exactly the same.
You’re important to me. I think if there’s anything that will last forever, it’s that. Whether we separate, stay in touch or rarely speak again, you will always be that little someone I really do care for, that I would sacrifice everything for to protect and keep safe.