i went to work this morning and not even an hour in


the devil is a lady


Weekend Catch Up

Friday: 3 miles at the school loop. Crappy but done. I get so agitated when trucks park smack dab in the middle of the loop for maintenance and utility work around the mile. I get that it’s closer to whatever task needs to be done, but it’s also not a parking lot.

Went to the coast to surprise mom for Mother’s Day with activearika. We sat in traffic for 7 hours when the trip should only take 4.75 hours. Worth it though because she was surprised. And zebo84 and KT came down that night. So all the kids were home for the weekend.

Saturday: Started with a sibling workout. Everyone was on different plans, so I stuck with Alex who was on one of the last weeks of c25k. We warmed up and then ran for 30 minutes straight. Even though it was early morning, a stretch of the mile was in direct sunlight, which was awful and energy zapping. With three minutes left of jogging, I got the distinct feeling I was going to blow chunks, but I kept it together and made it to the cool down, sans throw up. 

Then we celebrated Ma’s day with a cookout. Said cookout and subsequent continued eating til midnight made me feel like I was full term with a food baby at bed time. I could not get comfortable at all and slept awfully. 

Despite food hangovers and the constant exhaustion I seem to get when home (I guess my body realizes it doesn’t have to go, go, go so it demands laziness). It was nice and good for the emotions and as always, too short.

coming out (to my dad) *edited

so yeah i spent an hour or so last night typing up mails to my mum and my dad (mums i havent sent yet bc i need to get her email address) and anyway my dad responded this morning
in short, it went well!! 
details under the cut 

Keep reading

So this morning I had a sorta interview for some more private teaching and they really liked me and I liked them and I’m starting in a couple of weeks with or month or so of ‘trial basis’ to see how it goes - they’re a little business of 12 people who’ll all want an individual sessions most weeks so it’s like tutoring but on a larger scale and with more security and it’s super because I wanted to work over the summer but I wanted some “summer” too and this way I have hours and an income but it’s still a lot less work than last semester at 2 unis was

then afterwards I went to my favourite area to visit my favourite bookstore and get lunch (today is an “exams are finished treat yo self” day) and I picked up this book called “Som una nació europea (i una carpeta incòmoda - Catalunya vista des d’Europa)” which sounds super interesting (Catalan book about Catalunya’s position in Europe essentially) even if it’ll be impossible to read and also a German book about jokes which I thought would be super fun but they’re all in Berlin dialect and it’s fascinating but I understand so few hahaha
I’ll probably post a few at some point!

anonymous asked:

whats the hardest thing about breaking up with someone?

with my last relationship i had finally found someone who set my soul on fire, who made me feel when i didn’t want to, someone who genuinely shook my entire universe and altered the course of my life forever. when i left, my world went back to black & white and lately i’ve struggled to find even the faintest of color. i think that’s the hardest part, grieving the loss of someone who painted your life with their love. it hits randomly too, checking out at the grocery store, brushing my teeth, riding the subway, when i’m on set or watching my friends laugh with each other, at night, in the early morning hours, even before i’ve had my coffee that still doesn’t taste quite right without her, it’s a pain i have no control over and that’s what hurts most. But at the end of the day knowing that it will all work out for the best, whatever that might mean, and knowing that I will be okay makes me keep moving forward.


mandasmuffintop! You were up, out and done before I even woke up!! You’re a powerhouse!

I went for a very very brisk paced walk this morning! I went 5.5k and it took an hour : )

I walked from my house to the sea wall and then up one of the really large hills on a trail right off the sea wall path. I want to eventually work up to jogging some or all of that because I have a 5k zombie run in June and the closer it gets the more I realize how unprepared I am!!


I’ve very recently arrived home from a trip to London with one of my best friends. Technically, we were only in London for four whole days, choosing to spend one of our vacation days in Paris. Because, why not? Everyone seemed so accusatory of the short length of our trip, but because of work vacation day limits and other such circumstances, this was the amount of time we had to work with. And did we ever make it work. We woke up early every morning and went to sleep late every night. We walked miles (and miles! and miles!). We were walking near half-marathon lengths every day, even in Paris! Which included 2.5 hour train rides in both directions!

I had high hopes and expectations for London because for years, people have been telling me that it’s a city I would love, it’s a city they could picture me living in. I was nervous to finally set foot on London soil with all of these thoughts in my head but London came through. It did not let me down. And more importantly, it did not intimidate me. Learning to cross the street was probably the most intimidating part, but I am sure such a talent comes naturally over time and practice. And the amount of times we were stopped by foreigners and English people alike asking for directions made me feel like we were doing something right. Perhaps it was because we had consciously made the effort to hide our massive maps at home, where they were laid out on the floor in our flat, every day before we left, with circles and notes and arrows. We weren’t much help to people and they were generally surprised when an American accent popped out.

I am not a world traveler by any means. I still flip through the pages of my passport with childlike wonderment and daydream about the other places I’d like to go. There’s a long list, believe me. Lots of places in America, too. I’m on the precipice of big changes, because I’ve lived in New York my whole life and have never once left to live anywhere else. And the idea of leaving is constantly on my mind, and the time for it is so close I can taste it. 

But I will tell you this: the sound of American accents warmed my heart when I was away (I know! It wasn’t even that long!), and I missed being able to remember to look the proper way at an intersection; I also missed iced coffee and bars that stay open later than midnight. But that’s life. You adapt to your surroundings, and I think this trip made me see that I am capable of that.

PS my trip to the Harry Potter studio probably needs a post of its own. 

i flatlined about 3 times last night, I went to sleep at 3am and got up again at 7am, i’m a meSS, I can’t stop thinking about harry’s dimpLE and his whoLE body and how much I want to MUSH it in my HANDS ALL THE TIME and I’m so tired and I’m trying to work but I’m also roCK hard going on like 10 hours I’m so confused I don’t even think I should have drove this morning


14-05-2015 - Printing my final images

Last night I finally decided what my three final images for the exhibition were going to be. I spent a few hours editing them slightly this morning just to perfect them and then I headed to the digital darkroom to print them and put them in my frames. My housemate kindly offered to drive me in as the frames were all A2 and I physically wouldn’t have been able to carry them in. Once I arrived at the digital darkroom as I was unaware that it was hand in for the Year 2 students I was surprised by how many people were in there. I got the last spare computer luckily and even though I arrived at 1pm I didn’t leave until 08:45pm. I misprinted twice, the servers went down on the printers for a while meaning nobody could print and there was a whole room full of students all trying to print out their work. But after keeping at it I had finally printed my three images and places them in their mounted frames. 

She had been standing on the lighthouse’s hillside for an hour.  Even though they agreed to meet by the lighthouse at around 9 AM, she decided to sway in pleasant excitement since 8 AM. 

It was not a frequent occurrence for Wadanohara to spend time with the person in particular she was waiting on.  He was an even bigger busybody than her, and tended to have a lot more pressure as far as his goals went.  Wadanohara was born into her destiny, while Kokonose Haruka had to work for his.


 -       ⚓       -

 -       ⚓       -

“Good morning Haruka,” she called out after catching sight of him climbing up the lighthouse hill.  In order to be kind and meet him halfway, Wadanohara grabbed her beach bag nestled in the dew soaked grass and walked down the flight of bricks toward him.

“I brought some snacks with us in case nothing on the boardwalk looks good!”

“How have you been?  I’ve missed you.”

made it back from ACen :3 thanks to rainofblood435 driving me the 600 mile round trip. my feet are blistered, I have to go to work in the morning, and i’d do it all again next weekend if I could because it went by way too fast.
anyway, i’m kind of devastated i didn’t get to wear Rei (i walked out the door on thursday on two hours of sleep, minus a crucial piece of luggage) but everything else made up for it almost in full and just. wow. i hope everyone else had a kickass weekend, I’ll start sorting through pics asap.


The images above are of my sons and my boyfriend. “Why do I care though?”, you might ask if you were mildly curious. This is as strange of a love story as any, but it has become much more than that to me.

We met in a park. You might be thinking, “Oh, how ordinary” or might think it’s cliche even.

How it really happened: the night before I had drank a lot. Probably the most drunk I’ve ever been. I stayed up literally the entire night. I might have gotten 4 hours of sleep sparingly between the personal writing, staring at ceilings, and tumblr scrolling I was doing from this bout of insomnia. The following morning I got up, took my youngest to daycare, and went to the marina park nearby with a sheet under the intention to sleep while skipping work and studying for the day.

I arrived at the park, and picked a spot under a tree with someone already nearby sleeping themselves. I didn’t want to appear so alone. Hours pass, and I never fall asleep but instead I play in the water, listen to music, and try to keep my nerves in place.

I have two reoccurring thoughts that come and go. 1: I really loved the video from tumblr that morning about the 20 strangers kissing. 2: I am finding it impossible not to stare at the guy sleeping next to me. Like, for some reason I just want to stare at him and make him wake up. I even consider waking the guy up.

At that point I know I’m sleep deprived, and very much full of awful, stupid ideas.

This goes on for hours. I’m laying down staring the water when I realize I can hear him moving. I’m mentally screaming at this. What is wrong with me?! You’re fucking insane wanting to just approach a strange guy and wanting to talk and shit. The poor guy just woke up!!!!

He sits up, but stays in place, sort of orienting himself and getting past the grogginess of his nap. He sort of shuffles around, and we awkwardly send sidelong glances at one another, and he pulls out a book. Of course not just any book, LoTR: TT. So here I am breathing a little better going, yes, he’s at least a bit nerdy!

He fiddles and reads for a few moments, and all the while I think of the video from the night before, and how cool it was, and then boldly out my mouth I say “Hey, so I know we don’t know each other, but do you want to lay down together and cuddle?”

Brain grinds to screeching halt, mentally I’m freaking out, but without missing a beat he replies “sure, you’re a pretty girl.”

Course now I’m going over worse case scenarios, Is he a gang member? A murderer? Psychopath? just to name a few.

He kicks his shoes off though and slides onto my sheet with me, and lay my head at the crook of his shoulder. He introduces himself to me, tells me about himself and his family, how long he’s lived here, and I do the same. I realize during the conversation this is one of the first people I have ever actively pursued conversation with that was a complete stranger, (i.e., no links to school, social friends, family, work, etc).

I’m absolutely comfortable. Laying with this stranger on a sheet in a park like we’ve known each other for years and we were simply on a date. It felt wonderful to be someone. I was even able to drop that I had kids already for being as young as I am, and it hardly even phased him. (That had been a reoccurring issue in my previous romantic pursuits).

What blew me away though was how perfect everything was going. First dates, (if you could call it that), aren’t exactly famous for going flawlessly. Our conversation eventually devolved into pleasant silence and wordless caresses to wherever bare skin could be found within public parameters. I finally look up at him directly, getting a good look at him, (since he had previously been donning a hat and sunglasses), and realized that he was obscenely attractive. Like, out of my league hot. I didn’t have too long to think about that though because he was kissing me before I had realized that I had definitely wanted to be kissing him.

Kissing him was like kissing your high school crush good. Like melty, lift your leg up, tastes like rainbows and ponies, amazing.

There is a point to this, I’m getting there.

We eventually find that we’re both rather hungry, and leave for food. During the walk there I find out in not so many words that he’s homeless. I can hear it in his tone that he is embarrassed and ashamed, and to top it off that he had just gotten out of jail for a possession charge. At this point of the conversation, I’m sure a normal person would have politely exited the situation.

Of course, I didn’t. First of all, it didn’t even phase me. Homeless? No big deal. Jail for possession? My older sibling just served time for a similar situation. Who was I to judge him for what he was being honest to me about?

We spent the rest of the afternoon together. We rode the bus together to pick up my son, and he hugged and kissed when I transferred at the station.

I had given him my number, but I really doubted I’d ever hear or see from him again. Course I’m wrong, and the next day I find him at the bus station, being rambunctious with another guy. He greets me with a kiss and smile to my son, and tells me that he’s happy to see me again, especially since he had his wallet stolen and that my number was gone too. The guy he’s with realizes I’m of interest to his friend, and tells me how generous and helpful his friend is. He was first of many, many down the line to repeat similar praises.

travelingbonvivant it is super exciting and it went SO fast! Monday morning we didn’t even have plans to move for at least a year, and 11 hours ago we committed to buy a house (if they let us!)! I’m not much of a yard worker either, but luckily my husband likes that kind of stuff, so I’ll leave the green work to my lovely biologist! 😉💕

This weekend

Was good, but I did not expect it to be as emotionally/mentally taxing as it was.

Drove down to Bloomington on Thursday night, went to boyfriend’s graduation on Friday afternoon, hosted a cookout Friday evening, went to brother’s graduation Saturday morning after making a brief appearance at boyfriend’s program reception. Lots of late evenings followed by early mornings. I’m really proud of my brother and boyfriend.

It’s weird having close peers who have a master’s degree. I feel a little bit like I should do some kind of graduate program, but at this point it’s not necessary to get where I want to go with my career.

And now I’ve spent the last hour being moody/teary about my brother moving to Phoenix in a few weeks. I really am excited for him, but I’m also sad he’s leaving, for the expected selfish reasons.

And I really need to work on cleaning/getting my apartment ready for my own move. And do some quick work catchup. And set up my new laptop for work.

This weekend has been surprisingly good

Yesterday and today I was able to get all the school work I’ve needed to do all week for my online class. It’s an At Your Own Pace! Class but I gave myself a week per module and the first module was taking me too long so I was annoyed with myself. This past week has been really horrible pollen counts, highest ever recorded, so my asthma has been AWFUL. If I hadn’t been strict about using my inhaler or nebulizer every four hours I would have ended up on prednisone if not had a full blown asthma attack.
Things either settled down or my lungs adjusted though because this weekend I wasn’t winded putting on pants!
We got lunch with Fifi ’s mom and step dad Saturday then went to visit my cOlLeGe BeStIe later last night and I’m not exhausted today! I was even able to work out for the first time in a week this morning! I took a 2.5 hour nap, but more because I felt like I should vs having an all encompassing, bone aching exhaustion. FEELIN PRETTY POSITIVE.

May 16th

Look back over your week. How many times did you work out? Do you want to do less/more? Why?

Well. I planned to work out at the gym about 3 times and same goes for running. Seen from Sunday on I went to the gym on Sunday for about 1.5h, Monday I went running for 30 minutes. On Tuesday I had a rest day and on Wednesday I went to the gym for almost 2 hours. Because I couldn’t take my moms car on Wednesday and because the weather was that awesome that I didn’t want to go by bus, I managed to even walk to the gym and back for half an hour each. On Thursday in Germany was a holiday and gym was closed. So I went on a morning run for 4km. For the rest of the week, I didn’t work out because there was simply no time so I didn’t meet my plan. BUT I kept my food mostly clean and I went shopping twice which was also pretty exhausting and looking for a prom dress is one serious kind of exercise!

I always want to do more. I usually feel like I didn’t do enough because I’m some kind of perfectionist. Even when I’m feeling sore, I feel the urge to do more, to go for another walk, spend another 30 minutes at the gym…


today was such a good day!! I’ve been waking up earlier each day and it feels great. had class but left a lil early and was planning to spend the 2 hour lunch alone but I ran into hayley (ofc) at a cafe and (ofc) we had lunch together!! the afternoon was filled with laughs even though I was in school. I went to work, the kids weren’t too difficult, then headed out for a run with GRTO! i left partway through and finished the 4k solo on my way to the gym. did another little workout, picked up some goods and hung out w the fam!! probably should’ve worked on my presentation for tmw but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
guess I’ll revise it in the morn when I wake up even earlier than today!! night y'all 💛


It’s been a busy week for me. A good week. A wonderful week. 

I went home last Thursday and relaxed and enjoyed myself, for school is coming to a swift close. I had some errands that needed attending, but it was mostly a relaxing, extended, weekend. On Friday I went over to my best friend’s mother’s house and helped her with gardening/yard work for 3 ½ hours. We got a lot done and worked well past dark. On Saturday morning the two of us went to the farmers market of the season. I got more shampoo bars from the most wonderful woman, whom I hope to be buying from and supporting for a long time. After I went home to relax some more, I read outside on a bed sheet in the yard. In the evening I went on an 11 mile bike ride with a friend to one of our favorite biking spots (lots of good, tiring hills, wildlife, and cows!) And afterwards we met up for a bonfire and stayed up until 1 in the morning talking. 

I spent mothers day helping my mum clean the house and do chores. Afterwards family came over, and mum and I wrapped up the evening by watching the new Annie movie together. I’m not huge on musicals, but it was very cute and lovely. 

Today I went into my mother’s work (she works at an alternative high school, it’s very relaxed and I may come and go as I please). I laminated some bookmarks and pressed flowers. The school’s located just a hop and a skip from historic downtown. I collected some Fir tips for making syrup on her property and wondered around to look at the historic (and some new) houses. I only snapped a few pictures, but the houses are beyond my dreams for small, old houses, and they have the most gorgeous gardens. I decided to enjoy them instead of taking pictures of them all. I even romanticized about walking by an old woman gardening, who would then invite me into her beautiful, but quaint, home for tea and we’d talk about the most amazing things. Of course this didn’t happen.

I’m back down at school, now, for a final tomorrow. I should get to studying. I hope whomever reads this also had an amazing week, and has wonderful times ahead of them!

Day 12: 76 square towers in the roman wall

I love Barcelona. I love the architecture and the atmosphere and the ocean and the Catalonian pride and my team. If I were a poet, I would write a sonnet.
This morning I got up and headed to Plaça Reial to join an Old Town walking tour with Runner Bean Tours. We had a group of about 21 people and the tour lasted 2.5 hours. It was really interesting! We walked all through Barri Gòtic and learned about the history of Barcelona and where the Catalan flag comes from. I loved it! The guide was really cool too - she was a young girl from Wales.
After my tour I headed over a block to the Picasso Museum. That started out well, Picasso’s work as a young boy is really impressive. His stuff from when he was older though is just…weird. Not my thing AT ALL. They have a special Picasso-Dali exhibit right now so I went through that as well. It was even weirder. “This is a portrait of a person” er…. No, no it’s not. That is a blob.
“Spoon extending out of left window” … What on earth?
I’m just going to go with “Picasso and Dali were on some heavy drugs” as an explanation. (sorry Tami and Uncle Bob and other art lovers)
After that strange artistic experience I had some time to kill so I decided to pop on over to the chocolate museum (duh). The tickets there are chocolate bars! That alone was worth it. You scan the bar to get in and then get to eat it. A+ design! The museum itself was small and simple and I could see why it was empty… but the chocolate sculptures were pretty impressive and it smelled divine, so it was worth it.
From there I decided to just walk along the marina and enjoy the sunshine and breeze. I sat there on the steps of the dock for a while - it was so lovely. Except when that cop came and stood towering above me for like 5 minutes… Did I look guilty? I swear I didn’t steal any chocolate!
About 5:30 I rambled back up Les Rambles and got pulled into one of the many shops selling FCB merchandise. I couldn’t resist!
The first five minutes were filled with the clerk hitting on me… “What are you doing tonight? Excuse me what are you doing tonight? How long are you in Barcelona?” Ugh. Blech. I’m just here to buy a jersey dude. “Is this for your brother?” Oh sure, because I’m a girl it must be for my brother?! Gross.
(although I did buy a jersey for my brother once. One of the best gifts I’ve ever given) On the plus side, when I went to the counter the clerk there said “oh this is the cheap jersey. It’ll fade in the wash. Do you want a real one?” Of course I wanted a real one but it was 50€ which was more than I wanted to spend, but then he looked at me, shook his head and said “for you 35€”. Thanks! The pros and cons of being a woman.
Anyway, so now I have my jersey for the game on Saturday. I’m pretty happy.
Now I’m back in the hostel to rest up and prepare for my busy day tomorrow. I love this city.