i went to the east coast for a little over a week

Your grandfather was a fisherman. Your father and aunts and uncles worked the waters and the docks in the coastal town you hail from. It’s not glamorous, and nobody in the family had made it into college before. You grew up in a tidy little house that always smelled a bit of fish with a huge extended family.

Nobody expected the scholarship letter when it arrived, praising your performance in the local high school swim team, and nobody had ever heard of the school. Your parents were thrilled, and so were most of the aunts and uncles. Your grandfather was suspicious, making vague noises that sounded like “tricks and bargains and that kind of business.” What he said out loud was: “Don’t ever leave the sea. It’ll break your heart, girl.”

You were excited and optimistic and exuberant, and you packed your competition suit and a bag of things from home and you went off to college, not listening.


Freshman year was odd. You knew you wouldn’t really fit in, given you were a scholarship kid from the back end of the east coast, but it was more than that. You were, of course, on the women’s swim team, but some of the other athletes were … you couldn’t put your finger on it. A couple of the girls seemed too tall, and they never quite got the green from the pool out of their hair. One of the boys was much stockier than the others, a bit like your dad, but he could swim as fast and powerfully as you. He wouldn’t ever speak to you. Some of them were hard to look at, and kept to themselves. Some of them were just ordinary, but they kind of steered clear of you too. It seemed the only thing holding the teams together were the coaches. There were practices, and competitions and your team always did amazingly, but never made it out of state.

Your classes were … classes. Like high school but more interesting. Your managed to keep a decent GPA to hold onto that scholarship, but some of it was a chore. Sandy the RA gave you a list of rules and warned you about some of the other students. There was some superstition about, but given your heritage, none of that seemed off. Fishermen are superstitious folks.

Your roommate was snooty and complained constantly that you still smelled of fish, especially after winter break. You finally told her to go suck a clam and she stopped speaking to you. That was fine with you. You weren’t much for socializing with people who didn’t know the ocean.

That one guy, though, the one who asked you out after the first week of Comp 102 in January. That one, he was great. He was some kind of surfer kid from California. Not a college athlete, but Surfer Boy skated everywhere, talked constantly about the beaches and waves. Somehow tan even in winter.

The third week you were dating, he got you that steel ring for “safety” and you thought it was sweet. It said “always yours” on the inside and got stuck on your finger.

And then - your swimming performance dropped off. They threatened to bench you. There was an uncomfortable conference with the coach and the dean. The rest of the team avoided you even more, and Surfer Boy got … weird. Possessive. Mean.

He thought it was fine that you weren’t competing for a while. He could have you all to himself outside of class time. Isn’t that great? Maybe you could come to California with him for Spring Break. You didn’t want to, though. You wanted to go back to the cold water of home.

Then, about a week after you got benched, out of the blue while you were studying together, he asked you where your skin was. You had no idea what he meant, WTF was this serial killer shit he was asking you? You suddenly remembered Sandy’s warnings, and took off without your books to ask her for help, maybe how to get a restraining order? And maybe to help get this ring off, too.

Sandy the RA (short for Cassandra? Because nobody ever listened to her, not because it was her name) halfway listened to you, nodded tiredly, grabbed a form from a file for submitting to the dean of students and campus security and had you fill it out. Then, as you were both reading the forms over for errors, she looked up sharply, said, “Wait. A ring? Let me see that.”

Sandy took one look at it, got out a saw, and before you could even react, cut it off your finger, in two pieces. One piece said “always” the other said “yours” and she shook her head. “I thought I told you to never accept gifts?”

“But he’s just human, Sandy. Normal, even. More normal than I am.”

“Yeah, nobody ever listens to me.”

Under where the ring had sat for two of the worst weeks of your life, was fur. Sleek, short, dark fur. You yelped.

Sandy blinked slowly, somehow looking completely unsurprised, and said, “That stocky guy on the men’s swim team? The one they call Lion? GO. Talk to him. Show him your hand, he’ll talk to you now. I think he can help.”

As you left, she said, with her back turned, “I don’t think your grandfather was completely honest with you. Have you ever seen any photos of your grandmother? Do you know where she was from?”


Easter drabble...

Just for fun here is a little MSR on what I would imagine is one of Dana Scully’s favorite holidays.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate and to everyone else have a fabulous Sunday!


April 23, 2000


“Are you sure you don’t want to join us today?” she said stretching her arms up toward the headboard with a long sigh.

“And intrude on sacred mother/daughter Easter traditions? Nah. A heathen like me would never.”

“Your family didn’t have any Easter traditions? Your mom was Christian right?”

“Episcopalian…non practicing. The bunny would bring us baskets full of treats when Samantha was with us… after she disappeared pretty much all traditions fell by the wayside.”

“I’m sorry, Mulder” Scully said burring her head into soft spot on his chest.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gently began to stroke her hair. “What about you? Any childhood Easter traditions?”

Scully smiled at the pleasant memories that came to mind. “Dad… or I guess, the “Easter Bunny” would always hide eggs in the yard. Most of the families on base did the same thing. It sort of became a giant neighborhood hunt.”

“I bet you put your keen investigative skills to the test and always found the most eggs.”

She laughed. “Mulder, I was small, remember? Usually my brothers would run ahead of me and grab up all the eggs.”

He chuckled. “Bet you could kick their asses today.”


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Until The End Of Time

Originally posted by rundalek

Author: locke-writes

Title: Until The End of Time

Song Fic: Love You ‘Til The End - The Pogues x Rafael Barba For: Anon

Rating: K/T (Pure fluff)

Word Count: 2,530

Warning: Brief Mentions of Abuse

AN: I had an idea after listening to the song and this was written

Tagging: @monsieur–lafayette @thatgirlwhosalwayssinging

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things you said // nurseydex

a/n: took a break from my swawesome santa (also need a beta for that hmu if ur interested) to churn out some cheesy nurseydex. it……has been a rough few weeks. hope this makes some ppl smile. 6k, those Corny But Classic™ ‘things you said’ prompts.

things you said that surprised me

Don’t get Nursey wrong, he loves a good Kegster – sweaty, loud, beer spilling down the front of his shirt, the Haus practically pulsing with a mix off Holster’s iPod – but he thinks there may or may not be something to say for just hanging out in the living room with the guys, smoking weed or watching TV or just talking, piled on top of each other across the couch and happily enclosed in the trademark Haus Bubble.

It’s almost better than the rush he gets from crowdsurfing or dancing on the kitchen table, he thinks, digging his toes further beneath Dex’s legs. Dex pauses just to throw a halfhearted glare in his direction before taking a swallow of beer. 

Something at the bottom of Nursey’s stomach flutters, immediately followed by a silent, internal berating. Get it together, you weirdo.

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Ryden Theory

Ryden.  Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie.  The two men who have royally fucked up my life.  I wanted to “decode”  their relationship.  Song lyrics, interview, lore.  Everything.  If anyone has read M Theory about Sherlock, that is the feel I’m going for.  I’m going to do this chronologically, but first a quick overview of Ryden and a little background.   Even If you don’t believe they were in love, the loss of friendship is just as sad.


A lot of this is speculation.  I love Brendon, Ryan, Jon, Spencer, Dallon and Sarah.  


So, Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie are both known because of the band Panic!  At the Disco.  A band that has had no fewer than nine members.  The originals, Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross, Spencer Smith, and Brent Wilson.  Ryan and Spencer had been friends since they were five and had begun the band playing Blink-182 covers.  Many splits over twelve years, leaving lead singer, Brendon Urie, the only original member left.  


Panic!  Was originally Ryan and Spencer Smith (original drummer’s)  band, joined by Brent Wilson (original bassist)  who was the one to bring in Brendon.  The thing is, Brendon was originally the backup guitarist with Ryan as lead vocals.  After hearing Brendon sing they made him lead singer and Ryan the lead guitarist.  Ryan was reluctant to let Brendon take over, these were HIS songs about HIS struggles.  Both Ryan and Brendon have talked about how hard it was for them to communicate on how to sing the songs.  You might know the next bit,  they sent some demos (Camisado, Time to Dance, Nails for Breakfast and Tacks for Snacks)  to Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy bassist)  who flew to LA and watched them practice.  He ended up signing them to his label, decaydance.  Ryan wrote all of the songs from A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out, the album including hit, I Write Sins Not Tragedies.  Chances are, this is the first P!atd song you ever heard.  Ryan and Brendon were beginning to warm up to each other.


Panic!  Really hit it big in 2006.  They sold 10, 000 albums in the first week.  Later on that year they won ‘MTV video of the Year’ for I Write Sins.  They began to tour. This is around the time they started the ‘stage-gay’.  You may have seen the ‘Perfect Passionate Kiss’ video  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK25McZVK0c) .  Later this year the first split occurred, bassist Brent Wilson was kicked out of the band.  It was revealed that he didn’t record any bass on the album.  Instead, Brendon had filled in and recorded all of the bass.  The Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour replaced Brent with Jon Walker.  The Circus tour’s most notable event was

Myrtle Beach.

Myrtle Beach

Panic! Had a dancer named Dream, who every night would go on stage and say that Brendon was a virgin.  In an interview, Dream said this was a lie.  Greta Salpeter from Hush Sound, who was touring with Panic!  Said that they went skinny dipping at Myrtle Beach around midnight.    This is normal.  Friends skinny dip together all the time.  What makes it part of Ryden Lore is good ol’ Ryro’s livejournal post later that night.

6-25-06 01:21:28 PDT - (No Subject)

The moon bred new Atlantic life tonight. the salt burned you right out of my eyes. and secrets we’re not proud of were taken with the tide. We were all newborns with blurred vision and no sense of direction.

Today I saw cancer, cigarettes and shortness of breath. this is why I walk to the ocean. swim with jellyfish. I may never get this chance again. this is why if you want to kiss you should kiss. If you want to cry you should cry, and if you want to live you should live. You don’t have to love me. You already did. At least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia. it’s for lovers (orjustfriends) This is why I do it.


Also, I’m going to mention a few lyrics here.  I will go deeper into lyrics later on.

Northern Downpour

Hey moon, please forget to fall down.

I’m just going to say, it’s probable that Ryan and Brendon fucked that night.  I think this lyric is about not wanting that night to end.  Hey moon, don’t you go down.  Don’t go down because that means this night is over.  A night which was probably one of the best of their lives.


2007 was pretty uneventful.  They started to work on Pretty. Odd, around the same time Ryan’s dad passed away.  They worked through it though.  The band.


They released the first single Nine in the Afternoon, early in 2008.  What stands out about this song is really the video.  Despite having great lyrics, if you’re looking at this through the Ryden Conspiracy Theorist Lens™ like I am, the video really stands out.  The end especially shows how comfortable they were around each other.  It’s just really cute.  I don’t want to talk about Northern Downpour yet because it’s 1 AM and I don’t want to cry right now.  So we’re going to talk about  When The Day Met The Night.  This is the Sun and Moon theory.  Ryan is the sun, Brendon is the moon.  Some believe it’s the other way around.  Please check http://analyzingpanic.tumblr.com/post/65592663208/i-think-its-the-other-way-around-ryans-the-sun for why I think this.  I think that the song is a story.  A story about how they fell in love.

 When the moon (Brendon) found the sun (Ryan)  he looked like he was barely hanging on.  I think this is saying that  before Brendon, Ryan was close to giving up.  

  Her (Brendon) eyes saved his (Ryan) life.  Brendon’s love saved Ryan.  Like it or not, Brendon’s voice is what gave Panic! That little boost that it desperately needed to make it big.  Many other songs reference this particular piece of lore.  Anyway, I guess I have to do it now.  Northern Downpour.  THE Ryden song.  First, we have to talk about Ryan’s 21st birthday.  Pete threw Ryan a party in New York, which is on the EAST coast.  Ryan was the only one drinking age, so the rest flew to RAINY NORTHERN SEATTLE.  Around midnight Ryan left his party and his girlfriend, Keltie Colleen, and flew to Seattle without warning.  Maybe you’ve already figured it out.

 I missed your skin when you were east.  Ryan was on the east coast away from Brendon.  This ties in with- You clicked your heels and wished for me.  Ryan wished he was with Brendon.  

 I know the world’s a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home.  THIS LINE.  Ryan told Brendon to pay special attention to this line.  Also, this is the line when Brendon would start crying while performing it after the 2009 split.  The meaning though.  I think it’s about how yes, the world sucks, and hurts.  But if you ignore that, let the pain melt away, it’s home.  

You may be wondering how we know about Seattle.  The thing is, there’s photos of them there.  Eating at the Market.  Ryan in the same clothes as the night before.  Seattle itself is very important.  Ryan has said it’s his favourite place to perform.  Ry was driving to Seattle when he got the call that his father died.  Of course there’s also the “Maybe one day we’ll settle in Seattle” line.  Also Bren breaking down while performing   Casual Affair in Seattle.

Okay. I’m done with 2008.  Bring on 2009.


If I didn’t want to talk about Northern Downpour, I definitely don’t want to talk about 2009.  But I gotta.  Fuck 2009.  2009 is the year of the split.  The cited reason of the split is ‘Musical Differences’  I think that this is partially true.  Ryan and Jon had begun to write music on their own.  They had also started to make fun of Brendon’s attempts at writing music.  The tension was building.  They did try to work things out by going to a cabin to write their next album,  Crickets and Clover.  Never heard of it?  That’s okay.  It was never released.  Now.  Now we talk about Cape Town.

Cape Town

This was it.  The End.  I can’t really talk about Cape Town.  No one knows what happened.

The Young Veins

Ryan and Jon left.  They formed their own semi-successful band.  There’s a few song we need to talk about.  Lie to the Truth is all about how Ryan tried to love Keltie, but couldn’t.  About how he wanted needed their relationship to stay private.  But I really need to talk about Cape Town. Yes, they wrote a song about.  BUT IT’S RYAN ROSS SO NO ONE FUCKING KNOWS WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT.  POETIC LITTLE SHIT. Specifically, the contrast between it and The Calendar.  I think that The Calendar is very important so I’ll talk about it separately later.

Cape Town vs.  The Calendar

The Calendar

And I meant everything that I said that night.   Brendon did mean everything he said.  Presumably they had a fight.

I will come back to life, but only for you.  THIS CHANGES THE LAST LINE.  Yes, Brendon meant what he said, he was mad. But he was still in love.  He can forgive him.  Only him.

Cape Town

Woke me in the morning, asked me if I meant it.  I’m assuming Ryan said some pretty shitty things to Brendon.  But he didn’t mean them.

I loved, I left you, in Cape Town.  Ryan did love Brendon, but they couldn’t stay together.

Vices & Virtues

I love this album.  So much.  I cried the first time I listened to it.  I swear this entire album is about Ryan Ross.  Every song has meaning so this’ll take a while.

The Ballad of the Mona Lisa

Say what you mean.  Ryan stop being so cryptic and just TELL BRENDON WHAT YOU MEAN.

Let the sun rain down on me.  Sun and Moon theory.

Give me a sign, I want to believe.  Brendon wants Ryan to show him he’s still in love with him, Brendon wants them to be together.

You’re guaranteed to run this town.  Good job, Ry!  You finally have control over you music.  Even later into 2009 Ryan and Brendon still struggled with how Brendon was singing Ryan’s lyrics.  This is Bren being petty.

I’d pay to see you frown.  Brendon wants Ryan to fail so he’ll finally realize that he needs Brendon.  

Pleased to please ya.  Brendon felt like Ryan thought that it was a privilege for Brendon to sleep with him.


You’re behind my eyelids when I’m all alone.   Brendon misses Ryan.  A lot.

I led the revolution, in my bedroom.  This is talking about the fact Ryden was a LGBTQ+  relationship.

They don’t look like me.  Brendon’s a cocky lil shit.  Brendon knows that Ryan isn’t going to be with anyone more attractive than him.

They don’t sound like me.  No matter how hard Ryan and Jon try, none of those songs they write can sound like his.  They don’t have the vocal ability.

This one hurts too.  Memories

With an unrequited love.  Brendon felt that Ryan never really loved him back

She was the youngest of the family, and the last to be let go.  Brendon was the youngest of a large mormon family.

Then they decided that they would try to make it on their own.  The original four all risked everything for this chance that they would make it in the music world.

Oh memories, where’d you go?   You were all I’d ever known.  I actually think this is about Ryan and Spencer’s friendship.  One of the unanswered questions of the split is, why did Spencer side with Brendon even though Ryan had been his best friends since they were five?

How I miss yesterday.  Brendon and Spencer both just really want it to be 2009 again.

When July became December.  An overarching theme of this album is summer ending.  This is often related to the split.

But they couldn’t quite remember what inspired them to go.  After the underwhelming debut of The Young Veins, Ryan and Jon would have to watch Panic!  Make a comeback, without them.

They were fighting for their love, it was growing tired.  Brendon and Ryan tried to make it work.

When the money lost momentum.  Ryan and Jon were probably rolling in Panic!  Royalties after they left, but although they still gain a little money from their Panic! Days, it’s definitely slowed down.

They were young and independent, and they thought they had it planned. Should have known right from the start, you can’t predict the end.  At the beginning they were young, and desperate for separation from their parents.  They thought everything would be perfect.  You can’t predict how things will end.

Don’t let it fade away.  I think that this is a message to us, the fans.  Don’t let these first two albums be forgotten.

Trade Mistakes

I think this song is about Brendon’s mistakes as a lover and friend.   About how it bothers him that Ryan can seemingly just keep going without him.  Brendon knows he fucked up by letting Ryan leave, he wants to trade those mistakes for peace of mind

Ready to Go (Get Me Out Of My Mind)

You’ve got these little things, that you’ve been running from.  Ryan had a troubled childhood that still haunts him, it’s why he can’t stay with someone from his past.  These tiny things following him everywhere.

I’m ready to live.  Fuck Ryan Ross.  Brendon is learning how to be in Panic! Without Ryan.   Learning to live without Ryan.

Get me out of my mind.  Brendon wants to think about anything but Ryan.

Always  this song fucks me up too

When the world gets too heavy, put it on my back.  I think this is about how Ryan wrote songs about his struggles, then Brendon had to sing it.  Brendon would have to carry part of the burden.

You’re taking me apart.  Brendon is slowly being pulled apart, Ryan left him.  His band is split in two.

It was always you, falling for me.   Brendon now sees that Ryan did love him.  

I’m the light blinking at the end of the road, blink back to let me know.  Despite everything, Brendon is still waiting for Ryan.  He’s begging Ryan for a sign that there’s something worth waiting for.

I’m a fly that’s trapped, in a web, but I’m thinking that, my spider’s dead.  Brendon is still very in love with Ryan, but he’s beginning to believe that there’s no hope for them.

Lonely, lonely little life, I could kid myself, thinking that I’m fine.  Brendon feels alone without Ryan.  Yes, he has Spencer, but it’s not the same.  Even though he knows that Spencer can’t replace Ryan in anyway, he can make himself believe that.

The Calendar

If you don’t let it out, you’re gonna let it eat you away.  Ryan and Brendon were keeping their love a secret and it was slowly destroying them.

Pray I could replace her, forget the way her tears taste.  Brendon tried to replace Ryan and Jon with Dallon, but it wasn’t the same.

Put another X on the calendar, summer’s on its death bed.  Summer was when their love both blossomed and and died.

There’s simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends. Brendon had said in interviews that he’d hoped that they’d be together forever.  I bet if you’d told 17 year old Panic! That it would end with them all hating each other, not talking.  Toxic relationships.  They would have hesitated before signing to decaydance.

And I meant everything I said that night, I’ll come back to life, but only for you.  This is hinting at the resurgence of Panic!  Literally 90% of the songs on V&V were about Ryan.  Panic! Came back, but for Ryan.

Don’t want to call it a second chance, but when I came back, it was more of a relapse. Whenever Brendon gave Ryan a second chance it felt like he was doing drugs again, like he was high.  Like he had broken a promise to himself.

Sarah Smiles


Nearly Witches.

This song is special because it’s technically the last song written by Ryan Ross for Panic!  He didn’t write all of it though.  We need to start with the french.

Dès le premier jour, ton parfum enivra mon amour, et dans ces instants, j'aimerais être comme toi par moments, mais depuis ce jour, je n'ai qu'un seul et unique regret

From day one, my love your perfume intoxicated, and in these moments

I want to be like you at times, but since that day, I only have a single regret.  Most of this comes in again later.

Here I am, composing a burlesque.  What’s really important about this line is how Brendon performs it.  This is the last line Ryan ever wrote.  Brendon will often perform it mockingly, many people have interpreted it as Brendon being petty af and making fun of Ryan.

I only shoot up with your perfume.  Only Ryan can get him the high he craves.

I’ve got just one regret to live through, that one regret is you.  Brendon regrets Ryan, regrets their love.

I’ve got just one regret to live through, and I regret ever letting you go.  This changes the meaning of the original line.  Now, it’s about Brendon regretting letting what he and Ryan had die.  He thinks he should’ve held onto it as long as possible.

Mona Lisa, pleased to please ya.  This makes me think that the Mona Lisa is Ryan.  Even though Brendon regrets leaving Ryan, he knows he was never as much to Ryan as Ryan was to him.

The album as a whole

Brendon is a salty bitch.  

Not much happened between this and Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die.  Brendon cried while performing Northern Downpour.  Idk not much.   Oh yeah, Brendon and Sarah got married.

Too Rare to Live, Too Rare to Die

I think this album is a lot of Brendon accepting his sexuality, Ryan+Jon being gone, and the future.  A fair amount of this album was written by Dallon.  

This is Gospel

This song is about Spencer and his struggle with addiction.

Miss Jackson

When I saw Panic! In concert, Brendon said this was about a girl in Vegas.  I think that there’s some parts that apply to Ryan though.  I think when Brendon sings about no one knowing who was there, he’s talking about how they’d had to keep their love a secret.

Girl That You Love

This song was dedicated to Ryan Ross in the album notebook.

Drop every pretense.  Pretense literally means an attempt to make something that is not the case to appear true.  So basically Brendon is saying, ‘hey Ry, yeah remember how we pretended we weren’t in love.  Yeah stop that’


The song’s about how Brendon felt addicted to Ryan’s love, always saying that it would be the last time.  


I actually think this isn’t about Ryan, but instead Brendon realizing that it’s okay for him to have these feelings for another man.  

Casual Affair

This song is talking about how they’d both just said, ‘Oh it’s okay, we’re young, fooling around.’  If you want to cry watch this video of Brendon singing Casual Affair and breaking down.  In Seattle.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhXDQBZNdIE

End of All Things

I am always yours.  Yes, Brendon’s married and loves Sarah.  But this song is about the end of an era.  Ryan will  always have a hold over Brendon, but this song is Brendon trying to move on.

We are young again.  Brendon wants to go back to the beginning.  When they were young and happy and carefree.

In these coming years, many things will change, but the way I feel, will remain the same.  Brendon wants Ryan to know things will change, he’s married now. But a part of him will always care about Ryan, no matter what.

After Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die Spencer left.  He left to go get help for is drug abuse.  Brendon began to work on Death of a Bachelor.  Ryan….  Ryan kept being emo™.

Death of a Bachelor

Doab is about Brendon falling in love with Sarah, getting married, AGAIN trying to move on.


My life started the day I got caught, under the covers.  Brendon didn’t know what life was truly like before Ryan.

Who was I trying to be?  Why were they trying to hide it?  Everyone guessed anyway.

Then the time for being sad is over, and you miss them like you miss no other, but being blue is better than being over it.   Brendon knows he should be over Ryan by now, but he still misses him.  And to Brendon, being sad about the split is better than forgetting about the love he shared with Ryan.

Death of a Bachelor

Do I look lonely?  Hey Ryan.   Ryan look. I’m married and still in the band.  I’m still friends with Spencer.  I’m not lonely.

And when you think of me, am I the best you ever had?  Does Ryan still miss Brendon like Brendon misses him.  Is Brendon still the best relationship he ever had?

Share one more drink with me, smile even though you’re sad.  Brendon is married.  Ryan can never be that person for him anymore, but Ryan has to pretend that he’s happy for Brendon.

Golden Days

Fuck this song.  If I went through every song that could possibly reference Ryden/Original band it would take pages.  So here’s some highlights.

We’ll stay drunk, we’ll stay tan, let the love remain.   The summer before the split, where they toured around the world.  That is summer that Brendon is talking about.  The summer when the band got along, where they ALL loved each other.

Golden days.  Brendon thinks these are the best days of his life.  He knows that when he’s older he’ll look back on his life and remember the summer spent with his three best friends is the of his life.

Time can never break your heart, but it can take the pain away.  Brendon knows that eventually thinking about the split will hurt less.

House of Memories

This song is a problem.  I hate it.  So much.  HOUSE OF PROBLEMS.  It has the same problem as the last one.  Highlights;

Memories turn into daydreams.  Brendon longs for days of Pretty. Odd   And the memories have slowly morphed into daydreams about what could’ve been.

Promise me a place, in your house of memories.  Ryan promise me that you won’t forget what we had.

I THINK OF YOU FROM TIME TO TIME, MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD, YOU WERE JUST TOO KIND, AND I WAS TOO YOUNG TO KNOW.  Brendon knew he’d miss Ryan, but thought it would be rarer.  Now looking back, Brendon realizes that what they had was worth keeping.

These thoughts of past lovers, they’ll always haunt me.   This is a message  to Sarah saying I love you, but I can’t let go of him.

Bonus Lines

Memories tend to just pop up. Brendon doesn’t want to miss the old Panic!  But he can’t help is.  -Don’t Threaten Me With  Good Time

lynchy8  asked:

Hullo! For the prompt thing - number 18 with nurseydex :)

18: I’m alive…I can tell because of the pain.

Hello dear! I finally finished your ficlet - it ran away from me (like all my writing does). Have some fluffy NurseyDex sickfic featuring Derek “oh the agony” Nurse and Will “my bedside manner leaves something to be desired” Poindexter. Hope you like it and thanks for the prompt! :D <3 <3

Dex wasn’t worried when Nursey didn’t answer the text he sent on Sunday morning. Nursey’d left last night’s kegster early, claiming a headache; he’d had a huge paper due Friday followed by their game on Saturday, so he was probably sleeping in. Dex sent him a string of sleepy emojis and went to study with Chowder at Founders.

When Nursey didn’t reply to his text inviting him to lunch, Dex grew a little concerned, but ultimately brushed it off. Nursey was probably in the shower and would reply soon.

Lunch came and went, and Nursey still hadn’t responded. So Dex started calling.

“Hey loser, it’s me. Wondering when I’m going to get my daily lecture on how east coast hip-hop is better than west-coast hip-hop. Chowder and I are headed to the Haus. Call me? Love you.”

“You are missing the sickest game of Mario Kart. If you want to preserve your high score, you need to get your ass over here. Or just call me.”

“Derek, is everything okay? Call me if you need me.”

“Derek, it’s two in the fucking afternoon.  Have you gone unplugged and forgotten to tell me? Call when you get this.”

(more under the cut)

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Candy Corn Pt. 1

Written by: spencerreidsmiles

I’m starting early with the Halloween fics! 

This story is about a reader who is disliked by Reid and is set at Penelope Garcia’s Halloween party. The other either be posted this weekend or next week, depending on the demand.

Please send feedback, suggestions, and asks!



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Still Space

(gif’s not mine!)

Characters: Legolas, female!human!Reader

Warnings: the f word makes a single appearance. Otherwise, none.

Word Count: Just under the cut at 1132

Notes: Kickoff post! I had fun with this (as I always do). Truthfully it’s pretty dang short, but I hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

Based off of this (x)

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***Doesnt exactly follow the storyline. 🎬 It’s a little longer than my usual song request imagines but as SOON as I heard the song and read the lyrics, this was what popped into my head. Basically, in Papa’s Goods, instead of committing suicide Jax leaves California and tries to start life over in a new place. In my head, I saw it as the east coast, probably somewhere in New York where there’s no SOA charters since he technically was on the run but you can place it where ever you’d like.***

“Hey Jax.” You smiled as he walked into the bookstore, the bells on the door jingling. He smiled gently as he made his way closer to you, a calmness coming over him as soon as he was in your presence, like always. “Hey Darlin’.” “How are you?” “I’m alright. I just wanted to see you. Take you out for lunch again. You get off in 10 right?” You nodded and smiled again. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” The faint smile on your face disappeared and so did his as he saw the look on your face. “No, no. It’s nothing bad.” Blowing out a breath of relief, you laughed.

You’d known Jax going on 6 months now. You didn’t know too much about him, his walls built high and strong. He didn’t talk about his past much. All you knew was that he was from a small town named Charming back in California, worked as a mechanic, knew how to ride a motorcycle and didn’t like to be around people much. He had no family or friends, no girlfriend. He was completely alone. You didn’t know much about who he used to be but you could tell that he had secrets, dark and painful that he kept buried. You could tell he carried guilt and heartache around with him everywhere he went but he was a nice guy with a good heart and you enjoyed being around him.

You never pushed him to tell you and as someone that struggled with their own hardships, you never would force him to tell you unless he wanted to. You were his only friend and he had slowly began to realize that you were making him fall in love with you and you didn’t even know. He only felt happy and alive when he was with you. In turn he tried to spend every second not working at the garage with you since the day he met you.

He’d came into your bookstore one morning, just looking for a couple new books to read and you’d walked around the store with him, asking about his hobbies and interests to get him some interesting material. You’d ended up walking around the store together for an hour, telling each other about yourselves. It was a busy town with busy people so meeting someone new that actually took the time to make a friend was a nice change. You’d picked out some books and magazines for him and he’d left. You hadn’t seen him for about another week but this time when he came back, it was just to walk around and talk again. The two of you had built up a sort of routine and soon enough, he was in the store everyday to see you. You didn’t understand why he’d taken an interest in you out of everyone in town but he had and you were thankful for it. You couldn’t help but wonder what it was that he wanted to talk about but if he said it wasn’t bad, you trusted him.

“You scared me. I thought you were going to say you didn’t want to hang out with me anymore.” He shook his head at you and chuckled, his hand reaching out to take the book you were about to put on the shelf from your hand and putting it down before grabbing your hand and holding it. “I’ll never say that.” You nodded and looked down bashfully under his strong gaze but his fingers curled under your chin and gently pulled your face back up as he took a step closer to you, his lips pressing against the corner of your mouth quickly before pulling away. “You ready to go?” You stood there dumbstruck, your mouth hanging open slightly as you nodded. Jax laughed quietly at your reaction and smirked, the cockiness of the old Jax Teller shining through for a moment. “Let’s go get something to eat then.”


“Try this.” You leaned forward and took a bite of Jax’s sandwich as he held it out to you. He used his thumb to brush a crumb from the corner of your mouth with a smile and you returned it. You looked down at your own plate and picked up a French fry holding it out to him. He took it from you and ate it but continued to smile as he looked at you. “What?” With a shake of his head, he looked away from you and out of the window of the diner. “I just really like you.” You said nothing as you took in what he said, a blush rising up on your cheeks.

“Why?” “You’re just perfect. You’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. You’re my best friend. I know I haven’t told you much about me and I know that’s not fair since you’ve told me everything about you. Everything you’ve gone through and you still smile and laugh all the time. You find beauty in everything and still love life. We live in such a busy, hectic city and you don’t even care about any of that. You just live in the moment. From that first day I saw you at the store, organizing the books and happily humming to yourself in the middle of all that chaos, it was like you stand out from everything around you. You were standing there putting books in alphabetical order and still managing to have a good time. I want to be like that. I just wanted to get to know you and now that I have, it’s like I don’t know how I made it those first 6 months without having you. You deserve to know about me, I just don’t want to lose you.”

You sat there for a moment in silence before reaching across the table and placing a supportive hand atop his. He looked back over at the gesture and you offered a reassuring smile. “You can tell me Jackson. Everyone’s got their secrets. I can tell you’ve been through a lot and it would be good to get it off your chest. Either way, it’s up to you. I’m here.” He nodded and flipped his hand around so he was holding yours. “I’ll tell you one day. I promise. Just not now.” “That’s fine. I’ll be there when you’re ready.” He stared at you in awe, still not able to comprehend how the comforting smile you wore instantly soothed the anxiety he’d felt bubbling to the surface every time he thought about having to tell you what his old life entailed and then losing you.

You sat there for a couple seconds, simply rubbing the back of his hand, both of you lost in your thoughts. You knew whatever secrets he harbored weren’t simple and they weren’t pretty but you could tell he wasn’t proud of the things that he’d done and that was what mattered to you. You squeezed his hand. “You know, whatever it was that you did…it’s in the past. You’re in a new place as a new man. You can start over. We learn from our mistakes and then we have to move on, no matter how bad they were. You have a chance to start a new life, a good one. You don’t have to explain yourself to me, but if you ever want to I’ll listen.” You pulled his hand up and kissed his knuckles softly, a genuine smile coming to his face and he pulled yours up and did the same. He knew that at some point he was going to have to tell you but for now he’d simply relish in the solace you brought him.

Two Prompt Tuesday #2

Winning Prompt this Week: “It’s all about the first person you wanna tell good news to.”

Winning Character: Dean. (I think there’s only 3 out of all of my followers who aren’t Dean!Girls, so I may have to start either picking characters myself or eliminating him from the options. Ha.)

Word Count: 3000. 

Warning: Fluff. Cliche. The usual. 

Your name: submit What is this?

You stretched your neck from side to side as you unlocked the door of the bunker and let yourself in. You tromped down the stairs and looked around for anyone; when you didn’t see Sam or Dean, or even Castiel, you looked around for a note.

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anonymous asked:

so I was thinking, IF you're taking any prompts: what do you think would've happened if Mary went to police and enroled the Witness Protection Program - or if she just gave Nathaniel to them bc it is easier to run away without a child? I was thinking, if he had full support from the police, even if Riko got DNA or digitals for a test, there would be no Nathaniel Wesninski in the system for him to find. What do you think?

( imagine: Mary gives Neil to the police. imagine: Neil in the foster care system. imagine: some meetings are fated, but the path is a little flexible. )

( warning for …….. so much stuff. implied drug abuse. implied animal abuse. anti-religious talk. rough people in rough situations. Neil’s characterization took a harsh turn from canon, because imo Mary’s control and the high pressure of being on the run had a huuuge impact on his behaviour. also because lbr he’ll always be a chameleon kid until Palmetto. )

“You’re fucking bailing. I can’t fucking believe it.”

“Neil, I’m not bailing.”

“Yeah? You take a look in the mirror lately? Dressing like Tyron’s auntie, like some fucking prude, like you’re pure and holy and above all us gutter rats. I can’t believe it. He was right. You’re– you’re- you’ve become a fucking jesus freak, going to jesus camp.

“It’s a retreat, and it’s only one week.”

“What the fuck ever, Renee. That senile old woman’s corrupted you.”

“Is that what this is about?”

“There’s no this. There’s no anything. You’re ditching me.”

“I’m not ditching you, Neil.”

“Really? ‘Cause you sure as hell aren’t gonna convert me, and I don’t think your high horse has room for two.”

Renee pursed her lips.

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Fic Rec

So, today I want to rec some fics that I am currently loving. They are Ereri/ Riren and some have tw so make sure to read all the tags. I don’t know what to say, the fics are just wonderful, well-written and the authors are really talented.

Eren Jaeger is a college student studying for a degree in marine biology while working in the stickleback lab at his university. He dreams of researching and exploring the deepest parts of the ocean. His favorite food is free food. He does all of his papers at the last minute. He loves pizza. He has a serious caffeine addiction. He’s just a normal happy-go-lucky twenty-one year old.The only problem is that his sister is a superhero.

And he’s every supervillain’s favorite target. 

Levi is a scout, and protects his village day and night from feral yokai, demon like creatures who feast on human flesh.  When the chieftan of his village is killed by the beasts, Levi’s father takes over, putting him next in line to lead his people.  All Levi wants to do is watch over Mitras with his blade, fighting along side his teacher, who he has been in love with all his life.  When he discovers that Erwin is getting married, he heads off into the woods alone to drink and slay demons, trying to forget.  He never expects to summon from the darkness a yokai of his own.

Basically the one with thousands of words of Eren and Levi crushing like crazy on each other, and being absolutely freaking ridiculous together, and slowly falling in love against the backdrop of modern-day Vancouver.

This is a story about werewolves.Mainly.Werewolves and college and that one guy who threatened me that one time. You know, the one with the grey eyes and the constant scowl? Yea, him I can’t seem to stay away from. Call me suicidal.

The last thing Levi wants is charity. But a sugar daddy? That doesn’t sound too bad.

Eren is one of the few Alphas who go into rut without the presence of an Omega in heat nearby, and after suppressing it for nearly two years, the drugs are no longer working.  As a last resort he heads to an Omega refuge, hoping to find a suitable, but temporary, mate.  When he finds one lost in a fatal ‘red heat’, he’ll do whatever it takes to ease his suffering.

Note to self: do not listen to brain.

Note to self: do not fall for short man wielding a gun.

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You are Mine (For Now, at Least) - funkle my grunkle (nippy96) - Gravity Falls [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Gravity Falls
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Stan Pines/Reader, Grunkle Stan | Stanley “Stanford” Pines/Reader, Stan/Reader, Stanley Pines/Reader
Characters: Grunkle Stan | Stanley “Stanford” Pines

You’re a young local bartender, and he’s a sexy old adventurer. You two had been flirting for a while now. It’s a match made in heaven! Fem!dfab!reader x Stan. Fluff, smut, and hopefully a few laughs.


This is my shameless self-promotion. You can read it on ao3, or right here under the cut!
Here’s my notes: 
Wow, I am terrible at titles! Uhh, so I wanted to make this gender neutral at first (but still dfab, since that’s what im familiar with) buuuuuut I couldn’t think of many decent gender neutral compliments/adjectives.
So, I haven’t written fanfic in like… 3 years? So I’m rusty. But I kind of love the grunkles, so I really wanted to write this. Also, sorry if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes, I finished this up late at night. Please feel free to leave constructive criticisms, especially since I’d like to write something for Ford next time… :D But uh, please enjoy!

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My subconscious puts a lot of effort into its bullshit.

I dreamed that there had been some sort of deal made that Andrew Hussie had to finish Homestuck by the end of the year or all the apocalypses would happen. All possible apocalypses.

Since the apocalypse needs prep time, things had been going subtly wrong all year, but in June everything went pretty much to shit. List of problems I observed Homestuck to have caused:

* Everything’s genetic structure is janked up, and a lot of people are like, part-bear, or can only eat this specific ambiguously-sentient parasitic flower or they die of allergic reaction, but the flowers don’t fill all their nutritional needs so they eventually starve anyway. The flowers are very pretty.

* Sea level is rising dramatically in some places and dropping in others; the English Channel is dry.

* The passage of time is fucked up, so while in some places this has all only been going on for a month, in some it’s been apocalypsing for eons.

For example, the English Channel has been dry for long enough that new intelligent species have evolved there, formed a peaceful civilization, and barred all outsiders from entry using their advanced magitechnology. This civilization… is Redwall.

* Agriculture and weather are glitching out and there’s widespread famine and drought.

Annnnd bunch of competing sets of aliens of varying levels of hostility have invaded, including:

  • the ones from The Screwfly Solution
  • Homeworld gems
  • elves (???)
  • Team Rocket (fine, I guess we’re doing this)
  • the cast of Disgaea
  • angels (unaffiliated with Disgaea or Homestuck)
  • horrorterrors
  • no trolls, conspicuously!

I had a small RV, and had formed a temporary alliance with Lapis and Jasper. I would not ordinarily have allowed Jasper inside my small RV, but her gem had been worn down by the sand at the sea-bottom, making her smaller - she was now only seven feet tall - and also extremely passive, gentle, and depressed.

So the relationship just wasn’t working for Lapis anymore, and when their body of water had dried up due to a non-gem-related apocalypse, they’d unfused, and were on their way to Beach City to ask Steven to heal Jasper. I was taking them as far as the southwestern edge of Screwfly territory, which I wasn’t prepared to enter.

(Since they’re on their way east, I guess Malachite made her way to the Pacific Ocean eventually.)

We’d been travelling with a caravan of Homestuck Cultists, who had stopped in a roofless abandoned town overgrown with beautiful but creepy mutant plants. They were very sure that Homestuck would end by the end of the year - however long a year lasts - and that the world would be saved. I had doubts and was planning to move to outer space pretty soon.

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The Mulligan

Mulligan - noun a free shot sometimes given a golfer in informal play when the previous shot was poorly played

‘We had a one night stand but it was shit cos we were so drunk, please let me screw you again so I can prove I’m actually good in bed’

Police officer AU (cos I felt like it :p)

Also on FF.NET and AO3 - better read there as well as all my formatting dies when I post this in Tumblr…

Friday, 9:30am

Killian Jones was staring at her from the other side of the bullpen. Ducking her head back behind the screen of her computer, Emma Swan tried to hide from from his intense glare… just as another wave of nausea hit. She had to fight the urge to pick up the trash can beneath her desk and empty the meager contents of her stomach.

Fuck whoever decided that a Thursday night was a good choice for a team bonding. (And as this was Boston Police Department, team bonding meant drinks at Paddy O’s til the last one was standing.) Thank God she wasn’t on patrol today.

Damn, her head still hurt.

She took a sip of water and grimaced. It was lukewarm and her stomach churned. She peeked behind the side of her monitor.

He was still staring at her.  

Across the room, Killian Jones winced as he sipped the thick, tar-like black coffee that was the only thing helping him function that morning. Officer Swan looked barely more lively than he did; dark smudges beneath her eyelids, her hair pulled back in a ponytail that told him she hadn’t had time to wash it that morning.

(Well, he kinda knew that anyway.)

She was refusing to look at him and he wasn’t sure how offended to be. To be honest, he was pretty embarrassed about what had happened last night, so it made sense that she was too.

He just wished he hadn’t fucked up his chances with her.

A little later that morning…

Holy crap she was dying.

Okay, maybe that was a slight exaggeration but if she didn’t get some caffeine into her system immediately, even her poorly veiled attempts to pretend to be doing paperwork were going to fail. Grabbing her favorite mug (the one that said ‘Swanbucks’ - David had bought it as a nod to her coffee obsession) she pulled her body towards the coffee pot at the rear of the room.

Her main priority in the journey to it had been making sure she didn’t walk into any other desks on her way so it wasn’t until she reached the small table that held the pot that she saw she was not the only one who needed a caffeine kick.

“Swan,” nodded Officer Jones, his gravelly voice speaking of too much to drink and too little sleep. Emma paused mid-step, before stiffly taking her place beside him, resting her cup on the small table with her hands  beside it.

“Jones,” she nodded, trying really hard not to turn bright red as she stood beside him to wait as he prepared his beverage. Which was especially difficult when their fingers brushed together as he reached for a sweetener at the same time as she did.

“Sorry,” he muttered softly as she quickly recoiled her hand.

A little hot wave of anxiety rolled down her back. She could feel little prickles of sweat forming on her spine.

“T’s fine,” she mumbled.

Apparently, he took that as some kind of sign that she was open to further conversation.

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Walter Day And His Transcendental Galaxies

“TM’s just like that.  You do it regularly, absolutely regularly, two times a day.  And suddenly, whether it’s two years down the line or four or five, you suddenly realize it.  Wow, this bad thing that used to plague me is gone.”

Walter Day enters my home photography studio with a young man’s zest.  He carries with him a strong energy that seems to spread throughout the rest of the room as we sit down to talk about his life in Iowa as a living legend in the gaming community.  Transcendental Meditation brought Day to Fairfield, Iowa in the late 1970’s, and his decision to move there would ultimately be an anchor point to the rest of his life. Day would soon open the now-famous Twin Galaxies arcade just a short drive away in Ottumwa, and from there he would eventually become one of the world’s leading gaming historians.

FORGOTTEN IOWA: Tell us a little about yourself.

WALTER DAY : Well, my name is Walter Day.  I was born in Oakland, California and grew up in Anaheim a mile or two from Disneyland.  When I was fourteen or so, my parents moved the family back to their hometown of Lynn, Massachusetts.  That’s where I went to high school.  It was there that I first heard about Transcendental Meditation, something that would become one of the most important things in my life.  It removed a lot of stress, a lot of physical health ailments, it just made my life more dynamic and energetic.

FORGOTTEN IOWA: So, TM is what brought you to Iowa in the first place?

WALTER DAY:  Oh, yes. Absolutely.  Maharishi Mehesh Yogi, the founder of the TM movement, said that people should come to this place in Iowa called Fairfield. He said that’s where we’d do our group meditations, that it’d affect how other people think, too.  That’s what I’ve been doing for 36, no, for 37 years now.  It’s been an interesting experience to say the least.  But the Maharishi also said that we should do something to support ourselves when we arrived here.  Since I had just fallen completely in love with video games, I decided to open up an arcade in Ottumwa with a friend of mine.  We called it Twin Galaxies.  It was just one of those typical, old-fashioned video game arcade of the early 1980’s.  We’d only been open three months when we had someone go for a world record on a video game. You wouldn’t believe the trouble we found when we tried to verify the score, that it was indeed the new world record.  Turns out, nobody was keeping track of the scores!  We called up all the manufacturers and magazines and said, “we’re keeping track of the scores.”  We just boldly said it like that.  It was just some amazing stroke of destiny that nobody argued it.  They just said, “Wow, that’s great!  We’ll keep you in our Rolodex and refer to you when somebody calls about a new high score.”  It was less than thirty minutes after that call before Twin Galaxies received our first phone call to report a high score in the Nashville, Tennessee area.  It started as fast as that.  After a week, we were getting a dozen calls a day.  Before the year was over, we started getting ninety to a hundred calls a day.  And thirty-five years later, Twin Galaxies still exists, owned by big Hollywood producers.  I’ve since retired from it.

  • Twin Galaxies, 1984.

FORGOTTEN IOWA:  What made you open the arcade in Ottumwa as opposed to opening it in Fairfield?

WALTER DAY: Well, first of all, the video games were so expensive.  An arcade cabinet cost the same as a new car in the early 1980’s, numbers as high at $3,500 each.  And that’s in early ‘80’s currency!  When we opened our arcade in November of 1981, we had twenty-two brand new games in there.  It was essentially the equivalent of having twenty-two brand new cars that we were responsible for the mortgages on.  These companies had to earn, a quarter at a time mind you, the money to pay back for the debt owed on these machines.  Anyway, there were these people called route operators that would decide where the games would eventually go, what town and what venue, stuff like that.  There was already an arcade in Fairfield back then, and there were some odd rules about only having one arcade per town dictated by these distributors, so opening an arcade here just wasn’t possible.  It turns out that the only town in Iowa that didn’t yet have one was Ottumwa.  It was merely an odd quirk of fate that it was a town that happened to be so close to the one I lived in.  We just grabbed a location there as fast as we could, rented it, and the rest is history.

FORGOTTEN IOWA: How would you say Iowa compares to the east coast or the west coast of America?

WALTER DAY: Well, Iowa is so much a part of my heartbeat now because I’ve been here so long that I don’t necessarily notice the qualities of it anymore.  Iowa just is me and I am it, you know?  But recently, lots of people have come to town from other places and they just love Iowa.  They go nuts over Fairfield specifically. Lots and lots of people who have come to my video game events from out of town, out of state, the non-meditators, they’re absolutely intrigued and amazed by Fairfield. They think it’s one of the coolest, most remarkable places they’ve ever been.  They tell me that they can’t put their finger on what it is, just that there’s something so different about Fairfield.  And it feels so good that many have talked about moving here and living here.  Some of them even commit to it and they come here, you know, they live here today.  Not necessarily coming to start doing Transcendental Meditation, just because there’s something about this place that they just love. 

FORGOTTEN IOWA: What do you think the biggest changes have been for Iowa and the people that live here?

WALTER DAY: Okay, well, from the context of being a person that practices transcendental meditation, the big group of us that arrived here to do this big program together and meditate – we have always had the understanding that culture will change.  Culture will become uplifted.  Harmony will develop between all kinds of different groups of people.  We’ve become more peaceful.  You know, the economics and money could get better yet.  Things like that, you know, but I think even those things are beginning to happen slowly.  Especially for Fairfield. Especially here.  That’s why all sorts of different organizations like Mother Earth News, or the Smithsonian Magazine, have been declaring this town an economic powerhouse.  A cultural phenomenon.  Just one of those great places you never heard about that, when you do, you want to come and live in.  That’s not a hallucination.  When we first came here, there was a big division between the townspeople and the meditators.  They thought that, “Oh, some sort of Hindu cult is going to take over the town.”  But we began to have more and more of a presence in the town, and they eventually realized that there was no sort of takeover happening at all.  What actually happened is we all became integrated, and a lot of those townspeople started meditating, too.  A lot of them fell in love with the practice of Transcendental Meditation and started doing it themselves.  So all that stress between these two groups has gone away almost entirely over the years.  So, what else has changed?  A lot of independent small businesses have popped up here, I’ve read that this part of the world is starting to be referred to as the silicorn valley.  I think we’re heading toward good things.  It’s a good time to be an Iowan.

Walter and I would continue a conversation that would jump all over the map, from video games to life philosophies, as I set up my studio lights and we began our photo shoot.  Somewhere in that time, I began to feel like I’d just made a good friend.  And I suppose that’s the kind of guy that Walter Day is.  Friendly, inviting, warm, kind; the kind of person that felt as genuinely Iowan as they come.  He left my studio with two or three large winter jackets on and with a spring in his step.  Walter was off to meditate and then to play his guitar for a little while.

March, 2016

Important Facts About LA, AKA National City

So since Supergirl takes place in National City, there are some things you need to know about LA for fic writing purposes. There are so many small, but instrumental details about LA that just kinda get glossed over, or treated like it’s New York or something. So I’ve lived on the West Side for my entire life—Santa Monica, West Wood, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Brentwood, etc area. I went to school in the San Fernando Valley (yes, when people talk about “the Valley” or “Valley Girls” this is it. Shut up I am not a valley girl), and I work in the Arts District downtown. I know a fair amount—although still not all of it. So here’s some fun facts about LA for your fics because oh my god are some things not talked about or just glossed over that you need to know. 

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Interview Between Rami Malek and Robert Downey Jr.


If the recent golden age of prestige television has foisted the antihero upon us, the Golden Globe-winning, visually stylish Mr. Robot, which premiered last summer to much acclaim on USA and is now back for its second season, delivers an unreliable, morphine-addicted, paranoid protagonist destined to join the canon of TV’s most memorable rebels. But this time, he lives by Occupy ideals, dresses in a black hoodie, and is set on smashing the corporate power structure. Elliot Alderson, a cyber-security engineer by day, vigilante hacker by night, and leader of the Anonymous-like collective fsociety, is the eyes, ears, and sentience of the series. Played by Los Angeles native Rami Malek with a nuanced intensity, it’s the kind of role most up-and-comers would kill for—gritty, multi-layered, and a career definer.

Malek, 35, has been acting professionally for over a decade. He established himself as an edgy character actor in acclaimed indies like Short Term 12 (2013) and Ain’t Them Bodies Saints (2013), and has worked with the heavy-hitting directors Paul Thomas Anderson (The Master, 2012) and Spike Lee (Oldboy, 2013; Da Sweet Blood of Jesus, 2015), but as he tells his friend and Mr. Robot superfan Robert Downey Jr., playing Alderson has opened up a whole new world of possibilities, including his first leading film role, in Sarah Adina Smith’s mystery Buster’s Mal Heart, which he recently completed filming. Downey Jr. caught up with Malek by phone in early June, a few weeks after he visited the Mr. Robot set in New York.

ROBERT DOWNEY JR.: Mr. Malek, how are you feeling? What’s going on right now?

RAMI MALEK: Right now, I am home doing a bit of press. We have one of those hiatus weeks because, as you know [Mr. Robot creator], Sam [Esmail] is directing everything. He gets a week of prep before we complete season two of Mr. Robot.

DOWNEY JR.: Do you draw any comparisons between a director/creative partner and a brother, both essentially named Sami?

MALEK: Yeah. I actually do. They both have, in the time we’ve spent together, pretty much told me exactly what to do with my life. [laughs] There are some striking similarities between the two of them: They’re both Egyptian, they both vaguely resemble each other.

DOWNEY JR.: It’s funny how that works. Now I’m not going to start asking you about relationships, in case you were wondering. I’m in this odd position of realizing that it’s somewhat a daunting task to appropriately interview somebody. What the heck is Buster’s Mal Heart?

MALEK: I read this very experimental script on the first season we were shooting [Mr. Robot]. It was really poetic and cool, and it left so much to the imagination. So much of it was just scene descriptions, and we would improv the meat of the dialogue. That was something I looked at and was like, “Well, I’ll probably never get a chance to do something like this again.” I think it’s done now. Sarah Adina Smith directed it and is editing it, and is probably submitting it to festivals right now.

DOWNEY JR.: Oh, I wanna see it!

MALEK: Maybe we’ll screen it together. It won’t be as elaborate as your Star Wars screening, but … Am I supposed to talk about that? Or maybe not?

DOWNEY JR.: [laughs] Listen, it’s a two-way street, pal. First of all, are you in town next Wednesday?

MALEK: I’m not. What kind of fun adventure do you have planned out?

DOWNEY JR.: I had some ideas, but whatever. I guess if I want to see you for the foreseeable future, I just have to come to set again.

MALEK: [laughs] That was amazing. You turned me into a hero when you came to set. I’m not kidding. They were like, “You know him?” “How do you know him?” I knew it was very cool to know you, but the world started paying me more attention on that day on set. Maybe I elaborated on our relationship too much and started fantasizing it was more than it actually was. No, I just told them how close we were and that we hang out, we celebrate holidays together, we watch movies together, all of which is true!

DOWNEY JR.: [laughs] I mean, it was great to see you, very nice to catch up with [Christian] Slater. And, without giving anything away, I was just happy that I was able to see a scene with you and Slater that left everything to the imagination.

MALEK: Usually I look behind the monitor and it’s Sam and Joe Schmo behind there. “Okay, film icon Robert Downey Jr., one of the greatest actors to have graced this planet, is watching the monitor as I deliver a slew of experimental takes before I get to one that might have possibly worked.”

DOWNEY JR.: Now, let me tell you something, that first take was the take. It’s probably not the one that’s going to be in the episode, but it was perfect in that you were going to try what you were going to try, you were going to commit to it fully, and then you were going to not be ashamed if you were directed away from it. I thought it was brave, and vital, and awesome. Without getting into details, you made some sounds that I have never heard made on the set of filmed entertainment before. And they were appropriate to the situation.

MALEK: [laughs] I felt that was the case. You know what’s funny, I remember you said, “What was wrong with the first take?” And I was like, “Yeah, Sam, what was wrong with the first take?” We were doing a scene about three weeks later, and Sam comes up to me, and I don’t know if it was the light—we were losing light that day—but he gave me a couple takes, and that was it, and we moved on. I wanted one more desperately. He goes, “I was talking to Downey when he was on set …” He asked you, I think, how many takes usually work for you, and you said something like, “The first one’s pretty good. The second one’s about perfecting it.” So he looks at me and he goes, “Well, you know, Downey only needs two takes.”

DOWNEY JR.: [laughs] Usually they’re just warming up technically, too, and usually they’re letting things happen that shouldn’t be happening on the first take because no one really takes the first take all that seriously. But I bet that a movie comprised entirely of cleaned-up first takes would be extraordinary.

MALEK: That is not a bad idea. That’s the film we do together!
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DOWNEY JR.: That’s what Buster’s Mal Heart is leading up to. This is beyond experimental. Are you going to hang out with your family while you’re in town? How is everybody?

MALEK: I saw everybody yesterday. They all stopped by the house. I was actually just working on some scenes for the show and reading a script and trying to get work done, and I realized quickly that was not going to happen because my sister is getting married, and she wanted help with finding some of my dad’s clothes to weave into her wedding dress. That was cool. We ended up getting nostalgic and reminiscing about the good old days. It was a fun little bonding experience, so that supersedes all work at some point.

DOWNEY JR.: I automatically thought from the second I started watching Mr. Robot, “Oh, this guy is clearly a local hire.” It wasn’t the fact that you didn’t bother to pretend that you have to have a New York accent to be a New Yorker, because everything is so melting pot nowadays. I’m just saying, because the character is so identified with that kind of netherworld, East Coast, New Yorky vibe, do you feel a sense of being home when you’re there? Or is it more contingent on the fact that that’s Alderson’s rough place of existence?

MALEK: I’ve always felt like I belong there. Growing up [in L.A.] and having a family here was something that I, of course, adored because I was surrounded with that unit. But from the first time I went over there, I felt connected to the way things move, the pace, the ability to strike up a conversation with anybody. I know that people often say it’s hard to talk to people in New York. I think it’s harder sometimes in L.A. But I like the neighborhood vibe, I like getting on the train and going anywhere with that type of speed, having everything at my disposal. The culture, the pace, all of it. I like feeling like I’m in that concrete jungle. I know it’s not your favorite, but—

DOWNEY JR.: Well, you know, I’m from there, so I have a love/hate thing. Ask any New Yorker. Now, is it all right to ask a very general question about season two?

MALEK: Ask away.

DOWNEY JR.: This is probably the least interesting thing I could ask, but I’m trying to be vague. I feel like I’m doing like a Marvel interview right now, and I’m the person who’s not going to get any answers that I want.

MALEK: You would be the one person to get the most amount of answers, so I feel like you could get away with murder here.

DOWNEY JR.: [laughs] You know what, I’m a worker amongst workers today, and it suits me well. How strung out is Elliot when we find him this season?

MALEK: I’m going to say he’s very, very focused, if I may.

DOWNEY JR.: Great. And, as a guy who’s never been arrested or been brought up on any weapon or drug charges, how was it doing that whole first season playing someone who is an unreliable, strung-out-ish narrator? He was super-focused within that world, so this is a new kind of focused you’re talking about.

MALEK: Canadian customs might argue my personal history on that matter, but he was extremely focused last year. He had an agenda, and obviously he was using it as a way to facilitate numbing himself or furthering his agenda, making it a little bit easier to plot out, somehow. This year, he’s coming to terms with this reality of having this kind of dual existence, knowing that Mr. Robot’s existence is real. That creates an entirely different focus for him. I think he’s in a really guilty place when you first see him. As much as I thought that I had this guy down and understood him and was living in his skin, I realized there was so much of him that I had yet to discover.

DOWNEY JR.: That’s awesome. That that can be a really transformative thing when you realize everything that happened in this last run, it carries you a little bit, but you’re always starting at square one. I saw you on the show. I tracked you down. We became friendly. Then I saw that you didn’t get soft or fat, but you looked different. You looked like a guy who wasn’t working. Then I saw you in New York, and it was like you dropped all this weight; now I’m sure it wasn’t that much. But everyone thinks, “Oh, he’s just stressed out.” But that was a very specific choice of yours to get back to the exact fighting weight you were at. What was that challenge and what was that process for you?

MALEK: That’s a good question. If I gain, like, five or ten pounds, it makes a difference. For this, I remember Sam telling me early on, “You’re gonna be on morphine, you’ll be doing a lot of drugs, you’re gonna be very focused. I don’t see you eating much throughout playing this character.” I think the only time I ate during the first season was on the pilot, I ate some McDonald’s french fries. I hadn’t been eating much getting ready for that and going through the ringer of my own personal training. I was devouring fries during that scene like nobody’s business. They might have had to tell me to slow down at one point. I get on this regimen. I worked with Paul Thomas Anderson once, and he said, “It’ll do something to your face.” For a guy like that, if you can see that he’s going through something and everything’s a bit more sunken, it’s less work you have to do as an actor when the camera’s actually rolling. How about you? You’ve done it many times in your career. Look at how fucking built you were in Sherlock.

DOWNEY JR.: A lot of that was luck. You’ll find that every ten years, it gets harder. So I want to do the follow-up 2036 interview with you, and we’ll see what kind of game we’re talking about then. So then, as far as eyes down the road, the real thing that a lot of us are going to be paying attention to is the choices you make and the challenges you bring on yourself. I know it’s impossible to plan for that, because you kind of know what you’re going to do when you’re going to do it. But if you had to shape roughly what sort of transition from this series into the next phase of your career might look like … Is that even a fair question to bring up at this point?

MALEK: It is, because it’s something that I think about daily. I don’t want people to look back and think, “This character was entirely in his wheelhouse, and he’s probably going to end up playing a bunch of paranoid guys who have conspiracy theories.” Which could easily happen! I’ve had my fair share of 1970s conspiracy movies delivered over. I would love to turn around and do something polar opposite, and that might actually be happening soon. If the right people are involved and the script is just as powerful, I’d like to make some even crazier choices.



anonymous asked:

Andreil + 8 actually kill me

i actually have a similar prompt to this but they specifically asked for a jealous neil so you’re getting 1.6k of jealous andrew you’re welcome.

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Being in the spotlight meant, amongst many things, that they had a lot of fans. Usually Neil received them well, even more so when they had stories of how inspirational he or his relationship were to the LGBT community, and Andrew–well, Andrew had learned to be apathetic, but polite. They believed in keeping themselves to themselves, anyway, so it wasn’t like there were herds of fans following them around everywhere they went–not usually.

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