i went through hell and back to make this thing

Today I truly realized how far I have come.. yesterday I ate waay too much food and today’s workout was short. The old me would have restricted myself all day to make up for eating too much the day before, and I would have went harder and longer in the gym doing straight cardio. Having a shorter workout would have made me go mental and I would have went home and done more little workouts. But today I will eat when I’m hungry I will NOT restrict myself, I will sit on the couch and watch t.v and not do more exercises. I will bring myself up with positive comments, I won’t pick my body apart with things I don’t like or want to change. I put my mental and physical health through hell for 4 long years, and I won’t do it again. I won’t let the dark thoughts creep back into my head and make me feel worthless. I am stronger than ever and damn hell proud of myself for what I have accomplished on my own. Recovery was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I’m so glad I chose it💙

bloodycreampuff  asked:

5,6,17 hollstein :D

5. Who usually has nightmares?

Carmilla. She has really bad nightmares because of the different things mother used to do. The worst one was the coffin of blood. She still wakes up sometimes thinking she is still trapped. Laura comforts her of course and calms her down.

(I forgot to add Laura! WHOOPS.)

Ok so Laura would also have nightmares because the shit that she went through with Carmilla. Like getting you heart ripped out and then going pretty much to hell? Like who wouldn’t have nightmares? Also! Like you loose the one you love and then get her back and then ALMOST loose her again, yeah that would make you have nightmares.

6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ Who would have them in the middle of the day?

Carmilla has thoughts at night because she looks at the stars and has deep thoughts. Laura still makes jokes about it. Laura has thoughts during the day and will tell Carmilla, Carm just looks at Laura like she is a dork but secretly loves it.

17. Who works/ Who stays at home?

They both work but Carmilla gets off earlier than Laura. Laura has ALOT of assignments to grade. Carmilla walks into her office and sits while Laura finishes her stuff. They both leave together and head home after a long day at work. OH! Carmilla works at a bookstore and fixes the history books because some of them are wrong and she rants to Laura after work about them.

Thanks for asking!

Every time I think of the fact that Holt fought so hard to get his first command, something he’s always wanted but was never given the chance because of his race and sexuality, and then was met at the precinct with a detective like Jake, a white straight man who is so incredibly resistant to any type of change and refuses to do his job properly (think episode 1-3 Jake), and I think of the fact that Holt probably went home and was so incredibly angry at the fact that he has a detective like Jake who would screw up his command and make things difficult.


And then I think of the fact that 21 and a half months later, when threatened that if he didn’t leave his command -this thing that he’s worked so hard for, worked so hard THROUGH, built a strong, composed, well established detective squad that have each other’s backs - the squad would be broken up, and each one sent to places that would definitely bore them and depress the hell out of them, he chose to leave. Because he cared too much about his squad, especially Jake, to let anything happen to them. He acted completely selflessly and even though later he was rotting away in PR, literally being brought down and losing hope (this is the same man that started an association for Gay African American officers of the NYPD in the extremely homophobic 70’s and 80’s after his colleagues mocked him and laughed heavily just for SUGGESTING it), he walked away with his head held up high.

And it is that same squad (and same damn stubborn detective) that brought him back into the precinct and position that he loved.

I love Raymond Holt so much and am so grateful that he exists.

Demolition Team

Backstory: We’d recently arrived in a ghost town to face off against a cult of necromancers, had fought our way through several + some pretty tough undead, and were preparing to make a final assault on the leader whom we assumed was holed up in the town hall. In the last fight before this we had found a pot of marvelous pigments, and were considering using this to make a hole looney-tunes style, but were then fired on and things went to hell.

Magus: “Alright, I’m running around the back and painting a hole”

Witch (me): “They know we’re here now, we can’t sneak up on them from behind, we know there’s space on this door (we’d tried opening it but failed), why not just paint there”

*Magus at this point is already half-way around the building, while I’m chasing him and shouting about the pointlessness of sneaking*

Magus: “Okay, fine, I’ll just do it here then!”

*proceeds to basically throw the paint at the wall and make the hole*

Me (ooc): *remembers Uni courses* “I hope that wasn’t a load-bearing wall”

Magus (ooc): “You should just put engineering knowledge on all your characters”

*At this point the DM bursts out laughing, having rolled d% for whether the wall was load bearing and rolling 100%*

DM: “So, as it happens you have made a hole in the wall that supports most of the building’s weight. The wall crumbles, with the remaining skeletons falling and smashing among the rubble as the roof they were standing on collapses. As the dust clears, you look into the remnants of the room and see a man with grey skin and red eyes staring at you, seemingly confused about where the wall went…”

My heart breaks for Hanna

I feel so bad for Hanna. In my opinion, she’s been through so much. All of the liars have, but out of everyone else… She is the most broken. Hit by a car, found out her best friend at the time was the one who hit her, Her dad leaving/choosing not to be there for her, All of the shit she went through with her mom over Wilden, the most tramatized from the dollhouse, Losing caleb after she tried to come back and show he was #1, taking the blame for the girls and being tortured all over again, and now having to listen to Caleb profess his love to Spencer. Ugh. Poor girl has been through hell, I just hope she comes out on top.

Btw, who is spencer to get that mad over the caleb thing? Last time I checked, Spencer was the one running around kissing her sisters boyfriends. She knows how it feels to make a mistake, and for her to not think about that and how it feels to be shunned afterwards, is a shitty friendship move.. especially when she knows deep down that she still loves Toby. Ugh. What a mess.

captain swan: *has gone through hell literally and figuratively, overcome death more than once, held hands, kissed, hugged, said “i love you,” went back in time, met like 4 times for the first time, love each other so so so much, overcame the darkest curse together, nothing can keep them a part, and is about to be confirmed true love.*

cs fandom even after all that: SHE IS HOLDING HIS HOOK?!?! oH mY GOD!! this is everything G O O D B Y E. 

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Goddamn it I hate fuckin tumblr mobile i hope that isn’t sideways There was a couple people who asked about my grump tattoo and i wasn’t sure who to answer so to be fair im just making a seperate post. My tattoo is actually of Danny’s signature! With his permission I asked him to sign my arm so I could get it tattooed and he did and i went through hell and back in a foreign country just to get this done, hahaha. I love it and it always reminds me to look on the brighter side of things and that my dream to meet Dan came true despite all of the hard times. Dreams do come true and even if it’s not how you thought it would be that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try or that it wasn’t worth it. 💜

DearAshton

I know you’re like unappreciated as people would say so this is like a little letter of the things I appreciate about you. 

So you might not see this but I’m still doing it.

I appreciate the words you say even when they are dumb, I love how you have our backs and you always know how to cheer someone up.

I love your smile, it’s award winning, I love your laugh I love your voice, I appreciate all the things you have done to get here today and I appreciate the things you’re doing now, I appreciate the way you’re making yourself happy along with other.

Ashton you’re amazing, talented and just honestly really handsome. 

You made it though hell and now you’re here, in the light of the stage somewhere everyone wants to be.

We know some of what you went through growing up and it’s amazing, you made it Ashton, you really made it. 

You’re a leader of the New Broken Scene and we’re following you. 

Ashton Irwin I appreciate you more than anything, you are my idol and I hope one day I’ll be able to stand next you and literally look up at you and smile and say “Thank you.”

Thank you for being Ashton and thank you for drumming, thank you for accepting the offer to be in the band, thank you for staying, thank you for the lyrics and the music and the good things you have brought.

Thank you Ashton you’ve helped change lives. 

I appreciate you and everything you do. 

I love you just as much as you love your fans, maybe a little more.

Keep living your dream and being you Ash.

A very appreciative fan 

I’m making this a video and posting it.

Wake Up [ Teace ]

Motherfucker.
It had been as humane as he could make it – what more did they want.
‘I imagine their dead wolf friend back…’
Well it was too late now to fix that; he was just going to have to run.
The only thing that fucking sucked was that they were very obviously wolves. Much faster than him for sure but he wasn’t stupid. He’d waited until after the rain stopped to make the kill, just in case this kind of thing went down.
They might be able to catch him, but they sure as hell wouldn’t be able to track him.

Sprinting through the nearest doorway, Trace raced through the abandoned warehouse, turning as many corners and barreling over as many obstacles as he could to impede the three wolves’ paths. Before he knew he was back on the streets, holding his crossbow against his shoulder as much as possible to keep it from getting in his way as he raced through the next alleyway, this time being sure not to leave as much of a trail. As often as he could the man moved through streets that would branch off at a four-way intersection. If he was lucky he’d lose them at one of these turns.
The only thing was his lungs were already on fire and his old wounds were already throbbing as if they were brand new.
Once again, he founded himself stranded in the middle of town, blocks away from his bike, and miles away from his camp.

Quickly assessing his surroundings, the hit man realized he knew exactly where he was. 
‘You’re really going to bring her into this? Really?!….Does it look like I have much of a choice though?’
He gritted his teeth as he debated in his mind over the better choice of action, his eyes darting every which way to make sure his pursuers were still hunting for him. Trace couldn’t stay here though – he was running out of time and the rain only gave him so much time.
Worst came to worst they found him with the girl; at least then he would have a true incentive to kill them all if they hurt her with a clear conscience.

A moment later and he was at the door, buzzing her room number until she finally answered, quickly telling her it was him. With the door unlocked, he jerked it open before stepping inside, making sure it shut behind him before he moved to her apartment door, sliding in when opened it for him. Soaking wet, he paced about, checking that the backdoor was locked and the curtains were drawn before he moved back to her,
“Hi.” he muttered, pecking her cheek before he immediately went back to the front door, double checking that it was now locked before doing the same with the ones he had just checked.
One could never be too careful…