i went last overall

Raw Live notes out of order

[ ] Rip to the Referee in the Braun and Show match
[ ] Fun show overall. I went last year before the rumble (when everyone was so injured​) and it was pretty fun but this was 10 times better
[ ] Monday was the first time I truly didn’t care about a Bray Wyatt promo. This made me sad
[ ] Hate the drifter but even I laughed at his randomness tonight.
[ ] Jericho’s promo was hilarious and the live crowd loved every bit of it. I could see him feuding with the drifter
[ ] The last couple weeks have shown how much of a star Braun can truly be
[ ] Mostly since people were anxiously anticipating the ring collapse spot
[ ] Even though people were tired and exhausted the main event was hot
[ ] Hardys were so over people booed Cesaro. I think a heel turn is in the cards for him in the near future
[ ] Quick Squash are fine now but Finns success or failure on RAW will be an ongoing story this year
[ ] Happy to see Finn. So was Columbus
[ ] Women’s match was very fun
[ ] Hometown girl Alexa was mega over even with heel antics. A few yes chants for the win
[ ] These guys behind me argued over Orton or Rock and im just confused
[ ] Big pop for Jeff v Cesaro
[ ] Not really into the crusierweight match but the big spots were cheered
[ ] Clunky finish for Enzo and Cass v The club. Deflated all of us
[ ] Enzo and Cass are still hella over in Columbus
[ ] Case is so fucking huge in person
[ ] That big show Braun moment got everyone off their feet

Just let me complain for a moment

Why is my health such a disaster? After I got the flu and a cold two weeks ago I’d been slowly but steadily recovering, only to get a throat infection and an ear infection. Then when I thought I finally had those under control, I discovered the likely reason that I’ve felt like I’m slowly dying these last few days is that the tooth that I had to have a procedure on last month, is super swollen and probably infected or something too. Which means more horrible dental procedures that will be expensive (again) and long-lasting jaw pain (bc jaw problems). This air/dust isn’t helping either. I’ve tried to power through most of this, and even went on a trip last week, during which I felt okay overall minus the constant dry cough that kept me (and probably everyone else… sorry ㅠㅠ) up every night. But despite sleeping the last few days, I was too exhausted today to pretend to feel normal. If only I had the day off tomorrow so I could find a dentist and doctor. I hope one will be open in the afternoon.

  • So I went to my local March for Science this last weekend, and overall I had an amazing freakin time. But I had a White Boy^tm encounter I’d like to share with you all because it’s still grating on me. So he walks up to me while I’m in the picket line on the curb with a sign, and I’m trying to pay attention to both the cars (we were cheering people on for honking in agreement with us) and speeches in the background, so my mind was on like 3 things at once. For ease of typing, I’m calling him WCSMC (White Cis Straight Man Child)
  • WCSMC: *Notices my Power Rangers shirt* I just have to say Green Ranger was the best ranger by far.
  • Me: Oh that’s cool. I gotta go with yellow and pink.
  • WCSMC: That’s like such an obvious pick - it’s gender preference for you to pick one of them! (Because, you know, it’s so not of him to favorite one of the male characters. Really wish I’d been snappy enough to say this to him)
  • Me: *Internally shuts down in rage but tries to be polite* I mean the guys are cool but after the new movie, Trini’s my girl
  • WCSMC: Oh, I’ll never go see the new movie.
  • Me: Why? It’s fucking awesome dude.
  • WCSMC: I hate remakes. I’m not going to support them. The originals were so awesome.
  • Me: Yeah. And they were super racist. The new movie has amazing diversity, and its well written and a lot of fun to watch.
  • WCSMC: The old show wasn’t racist.
  • Me: Uh? Yellow ranger was asian? Black ranger was black? WCSMC: *thinks a moment* Yeah but they didn’t cast a native american for the red ranger!
  • Me: Sure because at the time they’d never cast a native american in a leading superhero role. Anyway you should go watch the new movie. I honestly think it’s a lot better than the old stuff, as much as I love it.
  • WCSMC: Yeah but I could have ice cream instead of spending money on movies.
  • Me: ??? Really? Well you could have ice cream after the movie too, And also support diversity in hollywood and a great movie.
  • WCSMC: Yeah, but. Ice cream. *Walks away*
  • I really wish I'd have had better comebacks for this guy but there's no way Power Rangers is going to get the support it needs with people like this, which is a shame because this movie is LITERALLY all we've been asking for, and yet it's being nit-picked to death and ignored.

I really wish that I had a Person. Someone that I could just kiss and cuddle with and talk to. I’m still hopeful that I’ll find someone eventually that actually cares about me and doesn’t just see me as disposable, but it’s hard sometimes after all the Shit I went through last year. Overall, I’m happy and I can genuinely say that for the first time in a long time. I’m being productive, I finally have a job I enjoy, and I’m /happy/. I do still miss having someone to talk to, but I deserved better than that. I have standards and I don’t think I should have to compromise those just to find someone who actually cares about me. So this is a long, rambly post basically just to say that I’m in a better place but also kinda lonely sometimes.

May 21, 2015

Not even four months ago, I felt terrible. I had no energy, no motivation, and I dreaded the future so much more than I should have. I was stressed about college and constantly had thoughts going through my mind like, “why does anything matter when life is so short? I’ll never get far in life, so why try at all? What’s the point of waking up every day if there’s nothing to look forward to?” Now, four months later, those thoughts occur much less, and I am much more optimistic. I still stress way too much about the future, but I’m learning to cope with it. A month and a half ago, I went on spring break with friends and although I was so scared that I would feel excluded or that something would go terribly wrong, it turned out to be the best week of my life. Just a few short months before that, I never would have guessed that I could enjoy life so much again. After that, there were times that I felt down again, but overall I felt much better. Last night, I went to prom and once again, I had spent hours worrying about every little thing that could have gone wrong and regretting even buying a ticket in the first place. That day, it turned out to be such a great time, and I’m so glad I went. What I realized was that there were still bumps in the road throughout the day, but I have become surprisingly good at brushing them off and moving on from them. I guess all I needed was a little faith in myself and faith in my future.

May 21, 2016

It’s been a year since I wrote this, and now I can add that I rarely worry about things that much anymore. I finished my first year of college and I finally decided on a career path. It really can get better. The future is so unpredictable, and a lot of the times, it turns out better than expected. Yes, the world can be a terrible place, but don’t forget that it can be good, too.