Not even four months ago, I felt terrible. I had no energy, no motivation, and I dreaded the future so much more than I should have. I was stressed about college and constantly had thoughts going through my mind like, “why does anything matter when life is so short? I’ll never get far in life, so why try at all? What’s the point of waking up every day if there’s nothing to look forward to?” Now, four months later, those thoughts occur much less, and I am much more optimistic. I still stress way too much about the future, but I’m learning to cope with it. A month and a half ago, I went on spring break with friends and although I was so scared that I would feel excluded or that something would go terribly wrong, it turned out to be the best week of my life. Just a few short months before that, I never would have guessed that I could enjoy life so much again. After that, there were times that I felt down again, but overall I felt much better. Last night, I went to prom and once again, I had spent hours worrying about every little thing that could have gone wrong and regretting even buying a ticket in the first place. That day, it turned out to be such a great time, and I’m so glad I went. What I realized was that there were still bumps in the road throughout the day, but I have become surprisingly good at brushing them off and moving on from them. I guess all I needed was a little faith in myself and faith in my future.
May 21, 2016
It’s been a year since I wrote this, and now I can add that I rarely worry about things that much anymore. I finished my first year of college and I finally decided on a career path. It really can get better. The future is so unpredictable, and a lot of the times, it turns out better than expected. Yes, the world can be a terrible place, but don’t forget that it can be good, too.