Lena: You should really listen to them. Ethan: No! I’m sick of listening to your family! I have been chased, spun, hypnotized, paralyzed, and damn near killed by your family! I’ve been going out of my mind for the last two weeks, and now your mother shows up on my doorstep and damn near gives me a heart attack –
My timing was always off. I’ve liked him for five years, an extremely long time. I’ve admired him from afar too often, scared to ever approach him. The two of us, we had something a lot more different than just being “friends”. Then he got a girlfriend. I felt my world crashing down on me. It took me a while to get my mindset right. I took my time and went back to all the precious memories we’ve shared together. Though they were small and silent, filled with destined moments, just between us, they were priceless to me. I shook my head, there’s no way he could be dating another girl. What he and I had was too real, too genuine to falsely claim it as a coincidence. I assumed that he had mistaken what his feelings were. His girlfriend was an outgoing girl, talkative, funny, and confident while I was the girl that was only quiet outside of my friend group. His girlfriend had liked him for a year, always sparking up ways to talk to him, While I sat back and waited for him to approach me. He and I never really talked with our mouths but more with our eyes. We’d constantly lock eyes for several seconds at a time, in hopes one of us approaches each other. However, we were both too shy, so neither of us even budged from our seats across the room. I want to believe that he’s confused, mistaking his “crush” on her as a comfortable friend rather than a lover. I could tell, the way he looked at her, it wasn’t like the way he looked at me. He looked at her with a friendly smile, while he looked at me with a sincere and anticipating face. I’m a strong believer that ifguy likes you, you don’t need to hear their words or see their actions to know, you can just tell by the way he looks at you. My heart could tell, that the way he looked at his girlfriend was not out of love, but out of comfortability. Despite my assumptions, I don’t want to be the type of girl that wishes for their relationship to come to an end. Because I would always want him to be happy, even if I’m not beside him. He deserves the world, it’s just sometimes I won’t be a part of his world. If he was the Earth, his girlfriend would be the water, always wrapped close to him. Then I’ll be his moon, though I’m hundreds of miles away, I will always shine for him even through his darkest days. Here I am, up past midnight writing this post about my muddled heart but I’m not as disappointed as I thought I would be about him having a girlfriend. Because deep down in my heart told me to follow my guts, and my guts told me that his feelings for her were wrong. I thought back to all the “fate” moments, they were too sincere to be mistaken. I remembered back to all the times I’ve was about to give up on him with the circumstances of moving and being far away from him. Then I remembered back to how we had drifted apart and it was fate, fate had brought us back together again when I least expected it. So the thought I was trying to put into words for the past few hours is that this is a phase he and I need for ourselves. We just need a break, for now, he should experience something I can’t give to him, and I should do the same with other guys. We both just need that moment in our lives to realize what our hearts want. And though, we might drift even farther apart again, I have a feeling if we were really meant together then we’ll be together again when both of us are ready. I’m not doleful or heartbroken as much before because I know God knows what he’s doing for me. If my crush and I were meant to be, then I think time will heal for itself and we will be together when the timing is right. God is telling me, be patient, it’s not time yet. So, that’s why I’m not scared if he was meant to be in my life like all the times he has re-appeared, then he will again, he always does.
“Don’t let your pride get in the way of progress” was a theme this episode for patriarchy, and not just the white kind.
In fact, 703 was chocked full of levels of how whiteness works (Fitz), the danger of historical white patriarchy if it is not re-defined away from its association with violence and domination. This was symbolized for Fitz’s character with the gun given to him by Big Jerry. For the nation, it was symbolized in by the activist, Steve (y’all see the blue DeRay-esque coat?!!) trying to literally take down a white supremacist statue. In the end, Fitz made a difference with his ‘magic’, by rejecting the white patriarchal masculinity of his father (lol, didn’t I JUST write about him and this rejection????).
But Fitz had to be pushed by black people (message!). White people are not going to arrive at any of the shit that needs to be done because they don’t experience it. Like Fitz watching Steve on the TV: he was hearing what was happening, but not really listening. He was too focused on his own transition and emptiness. He had to wake up to the world. The fact of the matter is this: no matter how much we yell and point out the truth as Black people, we can’t change this country if white people do not get off their ass. Every change that has ever been made in America has been because Black people and other marginalized groups pushed for that change. But, ultimately, the button has been pushed by some white person–because they have ensured that this type of power stays with them. Yes, I know we could find specific examples of where this isn’t true, but I’m generalizing.
Fitz used his whiteness to benefit others and make real impact. That should now take us into the Lost Girls episode, and hopefully, he and Olivia becoming a real team to change the world on a smaller, but more impactful stage.
Ummm, criticism of black patriarchy was NOT exempt in this.
The statement: “straight black men are the white people of black people” was up and down this episode. Both Marcus and Rowan were quick to rail against Fitz’s white privilege and his disruption to Olivia’s life, without acknowledging their own as men (Marcus), or acknowledging the specific ways they have harmed black women (Rowan–Maya, Sandra, Olivia), OR how much they have been saved and helped by Olivia (Marcus–the DC Mayor’s white wife? And also the reason he is now working with Fitz). Like, because they are Black, they feel entitled to Black women doing shit for them and still pay them dust. Fuck outta here.
I can just bet some of y’all were like
when Marcus said that shit about Fitz reducing Olivia to another black, home-wrecking hoe. And you did it without a speck of irony or realization about the wider implications of a society that sets this narrative. You didn’t think about how Olivia has made choices about her relationship with Fitz (outing her name remains a mark against him), including initiating much of it. Like Fitz said to her, “You’re nobody’s victim, Liv”. She wasn’t exactly a victim when she ran across the South Lawn to kiss him with all those cameras, including saying she didn’t care. But Marcus just represents a specific segment of y’all, and that segment is mostly the black men who feel entitled to Black women.
Marcus was angry and you say foul shit when you are angry. He knows better and he knows the wider implications of the racist media framing their relationship (he said so in 504).
do you think annabeth and percy had any fights about where they were goin to college? how do you think annabeth told him that she actually didn’t want to go to new rome
I can see Percy getting sad because they aren’t going to the same college but then again Annabeth is going to Berkeley who according to Tumblr is like 15 min away from New Rome and I’m pretty much sure they are probably gonna be living together in a small apartment (or Percy is gonna stay at the dorms and Annabeth is gonna live in an apartment in New Rome and Percy is gonna be there more often than not so they are pretty much unofficially living together).
I think Annabeth realized that accepting going to New Rome University was kind of an impulsive decision and not the best for her, she didn’t do any research on the university when she accepted because I guess that after all the trauma she went through the idea of New Rome being a safe heaven sounded like a good option, but with time and when she started to investigate colleges she pretty much realized New Rome was not really what she wanted and not what she needed to help her become the architect she wants to be and once she had all the facts and all the information she needed she explained it to Percy who got sad but he didn’t get mad because he knew Annabeth had wanted to be an architect since she can remember and he wasn’t going to stop her and he is definitely not going to get mad because she is doing what is best for her and because he wants to her to achieve her dreams. He gets sad and maybe a little hurt but like, Annabeth is gonna be a 15 min drive away and they are pretty much gonna live together so he can’t get that sad.
(but it doesn’t matter because both are gonna drop out because mentally is too much for them and they are gonna move back to NYC for a gap year and then they are gonna go to Ithaca University and Cornell because they realized the west coast is not for them.)